
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/5534333.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Erwin_Smith, Mike_Zacharias, Hange_Zoë, Eren
      Yeager
  Additional Tags:
      Past_Abuse, Homophobic_Language, ereri, Slow_Build, Eventual_Smut, Fluff
      and_Angst, First_Time, Self-Harm, Flashbacks, Post-Traumatic_Stress
      Disorder_-_PTSD
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-12-25 Updated: 2017-01-19 Chapters: 3/? Words: 3063
****** Rain ******
by TheSoulReader
Summary
     They're both just looking for ways to escape their pasts. To get out
     of the rain.
Notes
     This is my first SnK fic. Levi/Eren is my OTP for the series. This
     idea has been banging around long enough for me to try writing it
     down.
     This was rattling around in my head. I'm not even entirely sure what
     this will become yet, I just know I have to write it.
     Levi is 23, Eren in 16.
     There will be homophobic language, depictions of violence, though
     nothing super graphic in my opinion (hence the lack of tag). Eren and
     Levi will be coming from similar backgrounds.
     I like feedback. Please provide it.
***** Bruises *****
His back is pressed against a wall, a meaty hand covers his throat, and he
scratches violently at the wrist of his captor.  Even as he fights a losing
battle he refuses to give in.  Teeth are bared, blood is drawn, and weakening
legs lash out in an attempt to connect to something, anything that will allow
him to free himself.
“Vile!” came the sneer.  “Disgusting!  No blood of mine will be a fucking
faggot!”
Sweat plasters his bangs to his forehead.  He tries to scream, but there is no
sound.  Nothing but a faint wheeze of breath.  The edges of his vision crackle,
spark, pop.  His eyes feel like lightbulbs in his skull, brittle and
flickering.
POP!
And there is blackness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
“NO!” Levi shouted as he bolted upright in his bed.  His voice was hoarse and
his throat felt raw, as though he had swallowed glass.  A shaky hand ran
through ebony hair before he rose on wobbly legs to head to the kitchen.
A blonde giant sat silently at the table, raising his head from the newspaper
long enough to gesture at a mug of tea waiting at the opposite end.  He sipped
bitter blackness from his own vessel and held his tongue long enough for the
smaller man to cease his shuddering.
“That’s the third time this week,” he spoke softly, factually.
“Fuck off, Eyebrows,” the raven growled at him.
Erwin had known Levi long enough to understand there was no heat behind those
words.  It was simply his tactless way of asking for some space.  But he
couldn’t grant the request.  Not this time.
“You can’t keep doing this, Levi.”
“Don’t tell me what I can’t do, you’re not my fucking father,” Levi casually
tossed back, taking a hearty swig from his mug.
“You’re right.  I haven’t tried to kill you for being who you are.”
That struck a nerve.
“Say it again, Eyebrows.  I dare you.” 
The challenge in Levi’s eyes was clear as day.  He was itching for a fight. 
Any reason to deflect, to ignore, to suppress.  Erwin wasn’t willing to provide
him with that sort of release.  Allowing him that volatile burst would only fan
the flames that were already trying to consume the younger male, and he
couldn’t afford that.  That was not a loss he was ready for.
Instead of rising to the bait, Erwin crossed his legs, raised his mug to his
lips once more, and said, “I got you a job.”
Levi scowled at him, but said nothing.
“Mike’s been looking for some new help at the shelter.  Hasn’t been able to
find anybody reliable enough to care for the animals.”
“You telling me you got me a job scrubbing piss and shit out of kennels all
day?” the smaller man sneered.
“Sure did!  And your first shift starts in two hours!  Good luck!”
And then Erwin was gone, disappearing down the hallway to the bathroom,
presumably to take a shower before work.
Levi’s scowl deepened exponentially, grip tightening around his tea mug.  He
was simultaneously grateful and insulted that the behemoth had landed him a
job.  He had been living with Erwin rent free for the past six months and
admittedly felt like a mooch.  Embarrassed though he was by his inability to
find work on his own, he knew the older man hadn’t done this to be
condescending.  He was just trying to help in his own Erwinish way, and Levi,
churlish as he could be, would not allow himself to turn down the offer.
He owed the man his life, after all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
A scuffling of feet.  A crack.  Copper.  Blood.  He smells blood.  The scent
hangs metallic and thick in the air.
“GET AWAY FROM HIM!”
He’s on the floor, crumpled in a heap.  His legs are numb and his fingernails
are torn.  There is flesh beneath them, the edges streaked crimson.
Shouting, cursing, ripping, tearing.  Someone large.  Strong.  Stronger than he
was.  Would ever be.
“What the hell you want a fuckin’ queer, for?!”
A yelp, a crash.  Blurry. Blonde?  Blonde.
“I’ve got you, kid.”
Warm.  Solid.  Safe.
“GO ON AND TAKE THAT PILLOW BITER!  NOT WORTH SHIT TO ME ANYWAY!”
He can’t clutch his savior.  He can barely breathe.  A thick bruise is already
forming around his throat.  He wants to say thank you, but there is nothing but
stale air in his lungs.
The shouting reminder of his old life echoes down the hallway as he hangs
listless and limp in muscled arms.  He twitches, and everything is black again.
 
***** Feral *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi meets Eren
The first thing that Levi smelled as he entered the shelter was the heavy
stench of ammonia.  It was followed up by the foul scent of shit.  The chaser
for the godawful bouquet that assaulted his nostrils was bleach.  Somehow the
last bit was comforting.  It gave the impression of things being sanitary when
they were anything but.
“Hey, Levi!” Mike called to him, boisterous and way too cheery for the early
hour.  The blonde, much like his other half, was a morning person.  It was
awful.
“Mike,” he inclined his head in greeting.
“Glad to see you here!  Lord knows we need the help!  Come on, let me give you
a tour of the place!”
Levi followed Mike in silence, hands buried in his pockets, eyes half lidded in
apparent boredom.  The shelter wasn’t particularly large.  It was enough to
hold around twenty dogs and thirty or so cats, depending on animals that came
in together.  There was an awkwardly placed room off to the side of where the
cats were held that housed random small animals that were surrendered, such as
gerbils or rabbits.
When Mike took him to the back he was surprised to find banks of cages filled
with animals.  These were holding cages for new surrenders, strays, or animals
in quarantine.  Even farther back in the building were a few more kennel runs
and cage banks in more secure rooms.
“What’s the deal with these?” Levi queried.
“Ah, this is where we keep the feral cats, because…”
Mike didn’t get to finish his explanation.  A loud yowling cut through the air
followed by a startlingly high pitched, “OH COME ON!  THOSE WERE NEW!”
The larger of the pair rushed to get his hand on the door handle, but a loud
thud on the other side of the barrier prevented him from opening it.
“Nope!  Nope nope!  Don’t open the door!” the voice called.
“Is everything ok in there?” Levi frowned.  It sounded like a Tasmanian devil
had been set loose.
“Catch pole!  Need a catch pole!”
Another yelp followed the request.
“AND GLOVES!”
Mike dashed away to get the required items, returning a moment later and
hurriedly pitching them into the room through a small crack before slamming the
door shut.  There was more shuffling, a bit more yelling, and then…
“HA HA!  Caught ya, ya miserable chainsaw!”
“What the shit is going on in there?”
As if on cue, a lanky boy emerged from the room, cheeks flushed, startling
green eyes bright with triumph.  His smile was broad and luminous and he looked
disturbingly happy.  Especially when one considered the large gashes in his
jeans and a slice on the upper left side of his hoodie.
“You ok there, Eren?” Mike chuckled.
“Yeah, man.  One of the feral cats made a dash for it.  She was huddled in the
back one minute, and then I went to change her bag, and…”
It was at that moment that Eren, as Mike had called him, seemed to notice
Levi.  That bright smile was turned to him and the kid extended a leather clad
hand as he introduced himself.
“Oh, hi!  I’m Eren!  Eren Jaeger!”
Levi scowled as he took one of the boy’s gloved fingers between his own and
shook it halfheartedly.  The taller male (why was everybody fucking taller than
him!?) didn’t seem the least bit offended, that dazzling smile never ceasing. 
Levi swore even his eyes sparkled.
Eyes shouldn’t sparkle.  What the shit?  But he’d never seen eyes like Eren’s
before.
“Is it ok?” Levi found himself asking.
“Huh?”
“The cat.  Is it ok?”
Eren laughed, loud and uninhibited. 
“Oh yeah!  She’s fine!  But look what she did to me!” he exclaimed as he turned
to Mike.  He was showing off his clothing as if it were some fucking trophy.
Mike only whistled, scratching the back of his head before looking Eren over
more thoroughly.
“She didn’t get you, did she?  No scratches or bites?”
Eren shook his head emphatically.  “No, sir!  Nothin’.  I was careful.”
“Gotta watch cat bites and scratches,” Mike addressed Levi.  “They get infected
real quick.  Especially gotta watch out for the ferals.  They’re basically wild
animals, completely unvaccinated and unpredictable.  Get tagged by one of them
and it’s an immediate trip to the hospital…and immediate euthanasia for the
animal.”
Levi swallowed a sudden knot in his throat, though his expression remained
impassive as he asked, “Why?”
“Gotta test for rabies,” the blonde said grimly. “And that means…”
“Removing their heads,” Eren muttered, suddenly somber.
Levi visibly paled, and he was so fair skinned already one could consider it a
talent that he could take on such pallor.  He dove for the nearest thing with a
hole in it and vomited.  When he came back up gasping for breath and still
white as a sheet, Mike grabbed his arm to prop him up.
“Don’t do well with gore, huh?” he asked sympathetically.
Levi only shook his head.  Gore actually wasn’t his problem, but Mike didn’t
need to know that.  Erwin and Mike may have been dating, but Levi knew that
Erwin did not share the secrets of his past with his lover.  Eyebrows could be
real shitty, but he’d never divulge such sensitive information without just
cause.  What went on in Levi’s life before Erwin took him in was on a need-to-
know basis…and Mike didn’t need to know.
“Aw man!” Eren whined as he peered into the bin Levi had left his guts in. “I
just washed those!”
“Christ on a cross.  Would you like some cheese with that whine?” Levi snapped,
though it lacked bite considering he was still queasy.
The brunette tipped his head, seemingly confused.  He confirmed Levi’s
suspicion when he said, “What does that mean?”
The raven rolled his eyes, “It’s a pun, you dumb potato.  Because people eat
cheese while they drink wine.  Jesus fuck, how old are you?”
“Sixteen,” Eren said plainly.  “How old are you?”
“Twenty-three,” the raven responded.
“3-2-1,” Mike counted down under his breath.
“You look like you’re twelve,” Eren responded as he cocked his head the other
direction.
“There it is…” the blonde mumbled.  His arm shot out just in time to catch a
furious Levi who had gone from Casper white to fire engine red in a matter of
seconds.
“PUT ME DOWN!” the steely eyed male demanded.
“Nooooo…I think we’re gonna go back to the kennels and I’ll teach you the
cleaning routine!  That’s enough Eren for today!  BYE, EREN!”
The brunette wrinkled his nose, momentarily looking like a lost puppy before he
retreated, seemingly unaware of the trouble he had caused.  As Eren disappeared
around the corner Mike returned Levi to his feet, grinning when the diminutive
male sniffed haughtily and crossed his arms.
“So, what do you think?”
“I think he’s a shitty fucking brat is what I think,” Levi scowled, his
vehemence palpable.
Mike only clapped him on the back as he laughed, walking back towards the front
of the building without waiting for the smaller to follow.  He didn’t need to
wait anyway as Levi easily fell into step behind him, sea green eyes and
brilliant smile permanently seared in his brain.
***** Cycle *****
“Honey, we’re home!” Mike’s voice boomed as they entered Erwin’s apartment.
“Ah, Jesus fuck! Come on!” Levi growled as he toed off his shoes.  The first
thing he was doing before dinner was jumping in the shower and scrubbing
himself fucking raw.  He felt disgusting.
“Ahhh, my beautiful boys!  Welcome home!  How was work?” Erwin responded
jovially, offering Mike a kiss as Levi stalked past.
“Oh, it was great!  Levi learned about feral cats…”
“They’re fucking mobile chainsaws.”
“And catchpoles…”
“Frequently wielded by fucking idiots.”
“And he met Eren…”
“Aforementioned fucking idiot.  Stop grinning at me like that, you behemoth!”
Mike did not stop grinning at him. 
Levi offered a haughty snort before turning on a socked foot, disappearing down
the hallway and into the bathroom.  He left Mike to fill Erwin in on the shit-
tastic day they’d had, choosing to soothe his ruffled feelings beneath a spray
of scalding water.  His head hung limply between his shoulders as the droplets
beat down on his back, grey eyes watching the water swirl down the drain.
He didn’t understand why, but he’d always found it fascinating, watching the
little turbine form on the liquid surface only to disappear into the abyss. 
The raven had often felt that way himself.  A single droplet lost in the
riptide of a pool, lost to nothingness.
===============================================================================
 
“So, how was today?  Tell me honestly,” Erwin queried, seating himself at the
island counter.
“All in all, he wasn’t…awful.  Kid has a penchant for cleaning, just like you
said.”
“It soothes him.”
“He met Eren.”
Erwin hummed, raising an eyebrow.
“How’d that go?”
“Um, well…not horribly?  I mean, according to Levi, his name is Shitstain or
Fuckface, but I’m guessing he’ll get better.  Short stack did throw up in the
clean towel bin, which Eren wasn’t very happy about…”
“He threw up?” blonde eyebrows knitted together.
“Yeah.  We were talking about what has to happen when we test an animal for
rabies and he just kinda urped into the nearest receptacle.  Thought he just
had a weak stomach.”
Erwin’s face paled slightly, a hand moving to rest over his own gut as he shook
his head.
“That’s not his problem.”
“Then what was it?”
Erwin offered his partner a sad half smile, shaking his head.
“That’s something Levi needs to choose to tell you.  I will say it shouldn’t
affect his work, just…don’t make him do…that.”
Mike opened his hands in offering, Erwin’s own large paws fitting into them
easily.  He tried to offer a stronger smile when his fingers were squeezed.
“That kid has a lot of demons, doesn’t he?” Mike spoke lowly.  The shower had
stopped running, and he needed to be cautious.
“He does.  He’s not like Eren, Mike.  He’s locked up tight.  The things I know
took me a long time to earn.”
“You can’t betray that trust.”
Once more, Erwin shook his head.
“Hey, I get it.  He’s that stray dog that’s just been kicked around too much. 
He ain’t gonna hurt anybody, but he ain’t gonna just trust you either.
“You’re wrong.”
“Eh?”
“Where I took him from, the life he left…he’s capable of damage.  He’s
predictable, but he’s not terribly stable.  I’ve been trying to help him but
he’s…flighty.”
Mike snorted.
“Remind me again how long he was gone the last time?”
“Eighteen months,” Erwin sighed, pulling a hand through golden hair.
The bearded blonde pressed his forehead to the other man’s, hands moving to
press against his cheeks.
“If he runs again, will you be able to endure it?”
“I have before.  More than once.”
“He’s not your responsibility, Erwin.  He’s not like Eren.  He’s a grown man.”
Blue eyes darkened as those words were spoken.  He’d heard it all before, and
he wasn’t going to hear it again.
“Don’t do it.  We’ve talked about this.  The only thing you said that was right
is that he’s not like Eren.”
“Baby…”
“No!” a meaty fist slammed down on the countertop.  “I didn’t save him just to
turn my back on him!  He doesn’t understand, Mike!  He doesn’t do it to hurt
me, he’s just trying to feel safe!”
Placating hands were held up in an effort to relieve the tension, the taller
blonde retreating to lean against the kitchen sink.
“Ok! Ok!  I’m sorry.  I know, I know.  You know him better than I do.  It just
hurts to see you hurt.  You can’t save them all, Win.”
Erwin’s features softened then, eyes of ice seeking warm brown.
“He deserves to have someone try, Mike.  He deserves a chance to make a life
for himself.  He deserves a chance to know what home is.”
Mike huffed a laugh then, deep voice rumbling, “A feral cat knows where the
best shelter is.”
===============================================================================
 
Levi exited the bathroom, a towel around his waist and his dirty clothes in a
basket, already prepared to be washed.  He didn’t look at either of them as he
crossed the few steps to his bedroom, the soft click of the door the only sound
that passed between the trio.
He toweled himself off thoroughly, placing the wet linens in a separate pile. 
There was no way he was going to wash them with clothes that had been smudged
with fecal matter and lord knows what else that day.  As much as he was itching
to take care of his laundry, though, he couldn’t help but fall back onto his
bed and ponder over what he’d heard.
“He’s not like Eren…”
“It hurts to see you hurt.”
“He deserves a chance to know what home is.”
What did that bright eyed brat have to do with anything?  And hurt?  When had
he hurt Erwin?  He could certainly be blunt, downright abrasive even, but aside
from the first few months of his initial stay with Erwin, what had he done?
“What is home?” the raven found himself asking.
He frowned as he sat up, pulling on some pajama pants and an old t-shirt before
grabbing his laundry basket and heading to start a load.  While it irked him
that he didn’t understand the conversation (the conversation that he shouldn’t
have heard), he had to admit, however reluctantly, that it had felt good to
hear Erwin say that he mattered.  Maybe not so much in those specific words,
but, the intent was there.  Wasn’t it?
Levi shook his head once more as he dumped his clothing into the washing
machine.  He was too tired for this shit.  Thoughts of an azure eyed boy and
understanding the meaning of “home” could wait.  Neither mattered to him
anyway.
Did they?
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