
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1528556.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Smallville
  Relationship:
      Clark_Kent/Lex_Luthor, Clark_Kent/Original_Male_Character, Clark_Kent/
      Original_Female_Character
  Character:
      Clark_Kent, Lex_Luthor, Jonathan_Kent, Martha_Kent, Lionel_Luthor,
      Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe, Angst, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Coming_of_Age
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-04-27 Updated: 2015-03-06 Chapters: 21/? Words: 68052
****** Prep ******
by melmac
Summary
     Clark Kent's family is the owner of a chain of healthfood stores and
     a major expansion forces them to enroll Clark into Excelsior Prep. A
     new teacher, Lex Luthor, who denounced his former life, must learn
     not to be tempted by his new student
Notes
     Sorry of course for long delay. Life, traveling, etc, I'm sure you
     know how it goes:) Theres another chapter I'm editing, and things
     will move quickly from here. So if you're still reading, thank you,
     and as always, comments are greatly appreciated. I'm very thankful
     for every single one i've received so far:)
***** Chapter 1 *****
 
"...Ok...here I am in my really small, sorry cozy dorm room. As you can see,
they have provided us with the finest in prison-grade mattresses. I'll
demonstrate by bouncing on the bed a little...did you get that? It didn't even
move. But, good for the back right? Ok...over here we have your standard desk,
and yes Mom I'll straighten it up later, I just got here, and I'm still
organizing—stop frowning!. Ok, over there is a bed identical to mine. It
belongs to my roommate, who I met briefly when he ran in here with his mother
who was wearing at least sixty dead animals on her back, but they had to meet
his father for lunch or something, anyway, they barely looked in my direction.
Don't worry; I'm sure he's very friendly. Oh! My view. If you look out the
window and straight across you can see the main school building. I'll be taking
all my Science and English classes there. Oh and if I lean out the window, I
can almost show you the faculty housing. Some teachers actually live here even
though they don't have to. Well...I guess that's it for now. I have orientation
in the morning. This is really strange for all of us I know, and I promise you
I will do my best to enjoy myself, and not get into any trouble. I'll call you
this weekend like I promised. I know you'd like me to call everyday, and I'd
love that too, but we promised I would try to be more independent and learn to
be on my own...so I'm going to try that. Ok...I'd better clean up this mess
before my roommate gets back. I love you both, and don't worry, please, I'm
fine."
Clark ended his message with the biggest, brightest smile he could manage—one
he hoped his always-perceptive mother didn't see right through. He shut the
camera off and flopped back on the bed, willing the lump in his throat to go
away. Who ever heard of a sixteen year old crying because he missed his
parents?
 
===============================================================================
 
Clark heard voices, speaking in excited hushed tones. Then he heard giggling,
and feet running across the wooden floor. He shut his eyes tighter, trying to
dislodge the dream, but it became more vivid, his bed even rattled in response,
jostling his body and causing the wooden frame of his bed to groan. For a
moment he thought maybe he was in the throes of a possession, but could an
alien be possessed? Just when he was going to try and recall that movie he saw
the other night about a girl and a demon, his shoulder was shoved hard, and the
laughter got even louder. Clark realized it was obviously time to open his
eyes.
 He turned towards the laughter, opening his eyes to see a boy with sandy brown
hair and squinting gray eyes grinning at him mischievously.
"Man, I've never seen anyone sleep so hard. I thought you might be dead or
something. Though there is the urban legend that if your roommate dies you gets
an automatic 4.0, so I wouldn't have complained too much. I'm Braden, some
jerks call me Bradey, but I never answer to it. You're Clark Kent right? Family
owns Natural Earth Food stores?"
Clark was still trying to come out of his haze and realize where he was and the
identity of the person talking to him. Braden, right, Prescott, otherwise known
as the roommate he met briefly earlier. He sat up on his bed, wondering when he
fell asleep exactly, racking his brain trying to remember what he could of the
short biography about his roommate that had been sent along with his welcome
packet; he guessed Braden received the same information about him. Finally
remembering himself, he stood and held out his hand.
"Yes, I'm Clark. Sorry, I must have—"
"Wow, you're pretty tall huh? Guess you're dethroning me as tallest guy in the
Hall. How tall are you?"
Clark wondered if he ever stopped talking. "Uh...not really sure..."
Braden swung Clark around, pressing his back to his. "I'd say at least 6'4'.
I'm only 6'1 myself." He stepped away from Clark shaking his head in amazement,
seeming to admire this new turn of events. Clark just stood there, still trying
to catch up.
"So, lets go." He pulled on Clark's arm, leading him to the door. Clark allowed
himself to be pulled, not wanting to accidentally misjudge his strength and
hurt Braden in the first five minutes they know each other. He remembered the
first time he didn't allow himself to be dragged by his friend Pete—it resulted
in a dislocated shoulder and a lot of pain for his friend. He still remembered
running as fast as the wind, not stopping until he got to their barn, where he
hid under a hayloft. It'd taken both parents hours of patient talking and
finally a call from Pete's Mom to coax him out of the barn and convince him he
wasn't a monster.
"Clark? Come on." Clark shook himself out of his thoughts; he'd have to
remember to try harder not to slip away into his own subconscious if he wanted
to make friends.
"Where are we going?"
"Dinner. Its six o'clock, and I'm starving. I've been trying to wake you for
like ten minutes, I thought we should eat our first dinner of the semester
together, and then I can introduce you to all the crew. They've been wanting to
scope you out since I found out we were going to be roommates."
Clark was about to ask what happened to his old roommate, but as he'd already
learned Braden didn't need to be asked anything, he was more than happy to keep
talking.
"My old roommate's Dad is heading up some operations in Switzerland of all
fucking places this year, and decided they needed to bond or something
ridiculous like that, so he dragged poor Dean along with him. Sucks, we were
roommates for like four years."
"Oh, I'm sorry..."
But Braden just gave him a dazzling smile. "Its fine, I mean change is good
right? Damn wait til' they see how tall you are. They're going to flip! You're
pretty good looking too, but I don't know if that's good or bad yet." Braden
laughed at his own joke and together they walked down the hall, Braden leading
the way, still laughing.
As he followed Braden into the Great Hall, he paused on the threshold. The room
both excited and intimidated him. It was nothing like the expansive cafeteria
at Smallville High. There, the tables where a mish-mash of old and new, all
with the same industrial metal, the older ones topped with a fake surface that
was supposed to resemble wood, and usually scarred by the hundreds of students
over the years who'd tried to pull back the layers to expose the farce.
Everyone usually paired off in groups, some rowdy, some introverted, the whole
room alive with a sea of different colors and activity.
But this couldn't have been more different. The walls were covered in dark
mahogany, more closely resembling the many drawing rooms of his father's
investors he'd seen over years, than the eating hall of teenage males. The only
lighting illuminating the room came from ornate brass wall sconces adorning
each wall panel; together they gave off a diffused gentle glow, that matched
the solemn tapestries hanging at either end of the hall depicting boys dressed
in similar garb eating at those very tables decades ago. And in sharp contrast
of the dizzying array of colors that could be found in Smallville High on any
given day—there was only one prominent color in the room—blue. Though they
weren't required to wear their uniforms just yet, they were required to dress
in code for dinner. So everywhere he looked, he saw white and blue shirts, with
dark navy trousers. He took a quick glance down at his own pale blue button-
down and navy pants, and felt a small comfort that he didn't stand out for
once.
Braden was eyeing him curiously and walked back, slipping an arm around his
shoulder affectionately. "Don't worry Clark, I know it all looks a little
scary, but trust me, you'll fit right in."
Clark gave him a weak smile in response, and let himself be ushered over to a
table closest to the high arched windows.
"Well, here he is guys—in the flesh. Clark Kent everyone."
Eight pairs of eyes looked up from their place settings at once. All with same
quizzical, slightly bemused expression. Clark stood there awkwardly, waiting
for the introductions. Remembering the constant flow of information Braden
assaulted him with the entire walk there, he knew that four of the ten most
important families in Metropolis were represented at the dining hall table,
composing "the crew" as Braden kept referring to them.
He watched each of them eye him with a mixture of interest and trepidation as
they stood one by one to greet him. The first to stand and offer his hand was a
boy with jet black curls, and skin the color of cinnamon toast. He introduced
himself as Kennedy Prescott, son of President and CEO of Prescott Publishing,
Metropolis's largest distributor of magazines catering to the young urban
professional. Clark wondered if he was expected to recite his family's resume
in response. Kennedy feigned consternation when Braden told them his family's
business, and the other boys seemed to follow suit when he was introduced to
them as well. Each expression giving way to a look of recognition—immediately
followed with, "oh right, my mother insists our cook shop there…" or something
similar. He tried not to feel too offended.
It wasn't until half way through dinner that his surroundings actually seemed
to sink in. Instead of sitting in their dining room with his father, waiting
for his mother to bring out the always still warm sweet rolls they had with
every dinner, he was sitting here, one among a couple of hundred, trying not to
be overwhelmed by the constant din of overactive teenage boys. He felt a sudden
sadness that settled somewhere in his abdomen and he regretted insisting that
his parents not call him his first night there.
Braden claimed he would fit right in, but he wondered how as he listened
politely to their conversations, never really feeling a moment where he thought
he could interject anything of importance. As the dinner hour moved on he felt
more and more distant and lonely, and couldn't wait to be back in his room so
he could stop pretending to be cheerful.
A staff of men and women dressed in white aprons swept into the room to remove
their dinner plates. The food wasn't bad, definitely better than the mystery
concoctions he'd seen in his previous cafeteria experience, but it didn't touch
the culinary expertise of Martha Kent. The beef roast had been too dry, and
even drowning it in the accompanying gravy didn't help matters. His spirits
didn't improve any when Braden informed him that this was a special dinner, and
the normal daily meals weren't nearly as nice. Clark sighed and handed his
mostly empty plate to the server with a quiet "thank you".
Now that dinner was finished, the noise in the room rose sharply as everyone
started talking excitedly at their seats with nothing else to do. Clark
wondered why they simply couldn't leave, when a loud clanging of a bell
answered his question. The noise simmered to a low hum, finally settling into
complete silence only broken by the occasional cough or sniffle.
A tall man with mixed gray hair and a youthful face, with only the deep lines
etched there revealing his true age, stood on the elevated platform at the far
end of the hall with a long table behind him. Braden leaned over and whispered
that normally all the department heads sat at the table and ate dinner with
them.
"Good evening young men. I'll try and make this brief because I know how eager
each of you must be to start on the delicious dessert prepared for you this
evening, which the department heads and myself will be joining you for. Many of
you know me well, but for the benefit of any new students and freshmen." Clark
could have sworn his eyes met his for a moment.
"I am Headmaster Winchester, head of Excelsior Prep. I oversee the faculty and
Dean of Students, and try to be a mentor to every student here. This year we're
doing things a little differently. You will have your full orientation in the
morning, and tonight will be only to meet your new teacher and socialize
amongst yourselves. I trust each of you will welcome our new student entering
the junior class, Clark Kent."
A few heads turned to look in his direction, and Clark felt his cheeks flush
deep red.
"Now, we are happy to welcome a new teacher this year, who is also an alumni of
Excelsior Prep. He'll be taking over Economics for third year students, and
teaching a philosophy class. Please welcome Lex Luthor to the Excelsior
family."
The shock was too great for many boys to hide their gasps, and soon the noise
in the room elevated again. Winchester cleared his throat and the room became
silent again, and a tall, impossibly bald man entered through a side door and
joined the Headmaster at the podium.
The boys around him continued to whisper furiously. Clark knew the name of
course; everyone in Metropolis did. The Luthors were the most powerful family
in the city, some say in the country. The family only consisted of Lex and his
father now, with his father running Luthorcorp solely. Clarks till remembered
the scandal it caused when upon graduating Princeton, Lex decided to relinquish
his rightful place beside his father. He made a simple speech to the press,
denouncing everything his father stood for, turning his back on Luthorcorp
entirely. He then entered a teachers college in Metropolis and had kept a low
profile every since.
There'd been many whispers and rumors about the real reason Lex had denied his
inheritance. Drugs, mental illness, even homicide—the rumors grew wilder in the
weeks surrounding the announcement even creeping its way to his family's dinner
table at home.
Clark remembered his father being very annoyed at how willing people were to
believe gossip; saying how brave Lex was for doing what he did, that it took a
lot of guts and tenacity few men possessed to walk out on everything you'd been
raised to be, and to see his father for what he truly was and he'd gladly give
him a job one day.
Clark watched him now, standing in front of them, addressing the students
simply, completely unselfconscious of his appearance. For the first time that
evening, Clark really listened to what was being said.
"I won't pretend it's not strange for you all to see me standing here, claiming
to be your new professor of economics. But I hope any preconceived notions you
may have of me, don't get in the way of what I think could be a very promising
relationship." He paused, surveying the now attentive faces.
"I come from the same place as most of you, and I understand you better than
most are able to, through no fault of their own. I'd like to offer you my
insight of the world you're about to be thrust into, and if you'll let me,
offer you guidance."
He smiled good-naturedly, it faltered only when he eyes rested on Clark's rapt
expression, but only for an imperceptible moment.
"Well, I don't want to keep you from dessert any longer. Those of you who take
my class, will find out enough eventually."
He gave a polite nod, to even politer applause, though Clark would swear it was
tinged with sincere enthusiasm. He smiled to himself; he couldn't wait to tell
his Dad who'd be teaching his Economics class.
The fact that Lex Luthor was now part of Excelsior faculty was all anyone could
talk about the entire way back to their dorms. Clark was forgotten completely
by the crew, which was fine with him. Braden in particular seemed excited by
the new subject, and now prattled on at length while they changed for bed.
"I mean, why would a billionaire's son become a teacher?! That's nuts!"
Clark pulled his shirt off, rummaging through his still unpacked luggage for a
t-shirt.
"I don't see what's so nuts about it, I remember what he said when he turned
down the position of VP, he said he wanted nothing to do with ruining
Metropolis."
Braden leaned back on his bed, clad in just purple boxers; the only part of
their wardrobe they'd have any control over all year. Clark would soon come to
find that it was fashionable for most of the boys to get the most outrageous
and colorful boxers they could find.
"Oh you believe that nonsense about his Dad being all evil? Plenty of rich men
throughout history have been accused of the same thing. Most of it is
bullshit."
Clark slipped out of his pants, revealing his very boring pale blue boxers.
"Maybe so, but I think Lex Luthor would know better than anyone whether or not
his father was really as bad as most claim."
Braden just shrugged, already growing bored with the subject.
"Maybe, still you'd think he'd start his own company or something, not come
back to his old school to teach us idiots."
Clark just shrugged with a smile, and slipped his t-shirt over his head. Braden
watched as he stretched his arms to pull on the tee.
"You're pretty ripped Kent." Clark eyed him curiously, and he added, "You'll
have to show me your workout routine. I'm positively scrawny."
Clark ignored the strange uneasy feeling that suddenly crept over him, and
nodded, pulling on his pajama bottoms hastily and climbed into bed.
***** Chapter 2 *****
"Hey guys, well this time I'm outside, I thought you'd like to see a little of
the grounds...I'm pointing the camera at the lake, well they call it a lake,
its more like a pond. Its one of those really nice days we get in September, so
I'm just enjoying being outside, you know how much I love to sit in the sun...
ok, really I'm trying to escape my roommate for a few minutes. He's a really
nice guy, just...energetic. And I know, I have more energy than anyone, but
even though I'm sure I can't actually get one, I think he gives me a headache.
But I like him, and I think we'll get along great, so that's at least one less
thing for you to worry about. Oh, I met all his friends too, at dinner. We had
this really cool dinner, with servers and everything, but Braden said that's
not an everyday thing, which is fine, its weird having someone else clear your
plate for you—ok, except for you Mom, and sometimes Luanne—Oh say hi to her by
the way, and tell her not to forget all about me now that's she's working for
you and Dad away from home. But anyway, the guys seemed... nice, I guess. You
probably know all their Dads, or know of them. Kennedy's Dad owns Prescott
Publishing; you know the one who publishes all those magazines you always shake
your head at whenever we go past a newsstand in Metropolis? Damon's Dad is
President of Howard Builders, they built that tall "monstrosity" as you
affectionately call it on the waterfront, and is turning all the old warehouses
by the docks into condos. He was kind of standoffish, but I guess it just takes
time to get him to warm up. Um...Jesse's Dad runs a corporate law firm, I
forget the name of it, I'm sure his last name is involved, and finally there's
Gareth, who I think I liked the best, he was the only one who didn't present me
with his family resume when we were introduced. I think you know his Dad,
William Little, their family owns Little & Rogers Publishing. The company is
over one hundred years old—I think all the Rogers are gone now, and I looked,
and their name appears on a lot of my books.
So that's "the crew"—that's what Braden calls them. Don't worry; it's probably
not as snobby as it sounds. I know how you hate things like that. But right now
I'm just trying to find my place... I guess the other thing I didn't think
about before, was that I won't have anyplace to just be me, you know? Like I
loved coming home after school and being able to just do whatever I wanted on
the farm, without worrying about anyone seeing me. So here, I'll have to pay
attention to everything I do all the time... but don't worry, I can do it,
it'll just be hard that's all. Wow, I think it's almost lunchtime. We've been
in orientation all morning, so I'd better wrap this up—didn't mean to end on a
sour note, I mean I'm fine, I just miss you guys, and the farm, and my friends
back in Smallville, but this experience will be good for me, I'm sure of it...
Oh! I almost forgot! Guess who's going to be teaching me economics? Lex Luthor!
Remember he left Luthorcorp and decided to become a teacher? Well teaching here
is his first job. I know how much you admire what he did Dad, so I'm really
looking forward to being taught by him. Well, I think Braden just spotted me,
so I'd better end this. I love you guys, and I'll talk to you on Friday like we
promised."
Clark shut the camera closed and turned in the direction of Braden quickening
steps.
"There you are, I wondered where you ran off to. Come on, me and the boys are
heading over to lunch."
Clark noted how Braden never asked if he wanted to do anything, he just assumed
he did, and barreled full-speed ahead. Clark just stood up from the fallen log
he'd been sitting on in response.
Braden reached over and took his camera out of his hand, turning it over
carelessly.
"Nice camera Kent, is it DV?"
Clark resisted the urge to snatch his only lifeline to his parents away from
him. "Yeah, my parents got it for me so we could keep in touch." It wasn't
until his words left his mouth that he realized maybe most students weren't so
attached to their parents that they needed to record their daily lives and send
it to them.
And judging by the mixture of amusement and puzzlement on Braden's face he was
right.
"Wow Clark, that's uh... sweet." Braden was openly grinning at him now.
Clark's cheeks burned, and he quickly tried to think of something redeeming,
but then he realized sometimes the truth was better than anything.
He smiled, still embarrassed. "I know its weird, but my parents and I get along
really well, and they kind of miss me telling them about my day when I'd get
home from school..."
Braden just laughed, and swung his arm around his neck, pulling him into a half
stranglehold, laughing. "Relax Clark, its kinda cool. I mean your parents like
you and miss you, not exactly a bad thing, besides, my Dad said you guys were
unconventional." Before Clark could ask what he meant by "unconventional",
Braden let him go with a strong ruffle of his hair and a playful push, and
broke into a backwards run. "Your secret is safe with me, now come on before
all the fries are gone!"
Braden turned and broke into a sprint towards the main dining hall. Clark
jogged behind him wondering if he'd ever get used to Braden's rough-play—he
constantly had to make sure he didn't snap his spine in two by accident.
The dining hall looked very different today. The tables were rearranged and the
curtain that had been closed before was open to reveal a cafeteria-style
counter. The choices now seemed a lot less appetizing, but still better than
what he was used to. After deciding to take his chances on two slices of cheese
pizza and a carton of fries, he followed Braden to the selected table, where
Jesse and Kennedy were already sitting, and Gareth was making his way over with
a tray.
"Where's Damon?"
Kennedy looked up from poking his pasta "Oh he and his mother are having lunch
with the headmaster." He rolled his eyes, and then threw his fork down in
disgust.
"I swear the food gets worse every year. You must be dying Clark, growing up
with all that wholesome goodness."
Clark ignored the veiled insult, and took a bite of his pizza. "This isn't bad,
better than my old school."
"Oh, that's right, I hear you actually went to public school in...where was
it?"
"Smallville." Braden offered.
"Oh right, wow, this must be like culture shock to you then."
Clark just shrugged, wanting to wipe that smug little smirk off Jesse's face.
"Not too much. I mean everyone has been pretty nice so far. "
Gareth tossed his roll at Jesse, sitting down to join them, "Geez, Jesse, you
act like Clark grew up in poverty row or something. The Kents have more land
than all our families put together. You should see their place in Smallville,
its massive."
It was true that his parents had built a much larger home on the land his
father grew up on, and left the Kent ancestral home untouched to be used as his
father's home office, but Clark didn't like the idea of discussing how much his
family had, he'd always been taught that it was in poor taste—that they were
fortunate but it didn't make them better than anyone else.
But here, at least amongst these group of boys, it seemed to be the norm to
talk about how much each of them had. He could only hope other students weren't
like that.
Jesse rolled his eyes. "I was only joking Giraffe, I'm sure Kent here has a
sense of humor."
Clark just smiled, hoping it didn't look as fake as it felt. "Its ok Gareth, I
knew he was joking."
Braden glanced at him sideways—his look was like a silent hug, and quickly
changed the subject.
Clark stayed out of most of the conversation, wondering how long he was going
to have to pretend to like these boys before he could just move on and find
people he could actually get along with. He did like Gareth and ended up
talking to him almost exclusively, while the other boys would get into heated
debates about things Clark couldn't begin to imagine caring about. The dinner
bell rang as Jesse loudly declared that any decent Junior would at least get a
3-series for their first car, and Clark understood what the expression "saved
by the bell" really meant for the first time.
===============================================================================
The activities of opening weekend continued, and many parents came back for a
Sunday brunch and were allowed to take their kids off campus. His own parents
had left for Seattle, Saturday morning, so he was left alone most of the
weekend to fend for himself.
He spent most of that time exploring the grounds. The campus stretched for
several acres within the gates, spreading out to a dense forest to far from the
main buildings for most students to walk. Clark was certain he'd be extra
careful when he sped towards them—though he reasoned that even if someone saw
him, they wouldn't be sure of what they'd seen. He followed the trees until he
spelled a strong scent of lavender; a smell he always associated with his
mother. He was about to enter the meadow, when he spotted a lone figure across
the field standing a by silver sedan at the edge of a wide path that must have
led to the main road. From even as far away as he stood he could tell it was
Lex Luthor immediately.
He seemed to be loss in thought. Clark wondered if he should go and talk to him
an introduce himself, but he sensed he'd be disturbing him, and he wasn't sure
if students were even allowed this far away from the main campus.
His resolve faded and small panic set in and he decided he should leave before
he was caught. Just as he sped away, Lex looked across the field. He stood
there puzzled because he was certain Clark Kent had been standing among the
trees, and now there was nothing. He stared for a long moment, wondering if he
was more tired than he thought, or if some of the stories he'd heard about
Smallville were true. He laughed softly to himself for even indulging in such a
ridiculous idea. But still, he suddenly found himself looking forward to his
first economics class in the morning.
===============================================================================
For the first time in his life, Clark had to rise on his own and get to class
on time. Given his chronic tardiness, it was not an easy task—and Braden was no
help at all. When Clark finally dragged himself out of bed after the fifth time
of hitting the snooze alarm, Braden was still sprawled on top his comforter in
yellow boxers with a smiley face on the butt, drooling into his pillow.
Apparently he wasn't a morning person.
Clark had been asleep when Braden finally dragged himself back to their room
after spending all-day and evening with his mother and other members of the
crew's families. They'd all insisted he come, but he knew he'd just feel
completely out of place being the only parentless boy among them.
He gave Braden a gentle tap on his to the communal bathroom, satisfied when he
stirred, and mumbled, "fuck off" into his pillow.
The dorm bathroom reminded him of a more controlled, and even more personal gym
locker room. Boys milled around, in various stages of undress, pushing their
way to the sinks and mirrors along the wall. Shaving boys, elbowing those who
just wanted to brush their teeth out of the way. Clark's face still remained as
smooth as some of the younger boys, and he wondered if his species could even
grow facial hair. Judging by enough days in the boys' locker room, he knew he
had hair in all the other appropriate places, and the hair on his head seemed
to grow, maybe it was just a matter of time.
He rushed through his shower, and was making his way over to the sinks, when he
spotted Braden finally shuffling in. He immediately felt self-conscious
standing there in just his towel—there was something about the way Braden
looked at him that made him feel like he was being constantly appraised. He
pretended he didn't see him and focused on brushing his teeth. Suddenly there
were howls of laughter as someone snatched a towel off of some unsuspecting
boy. The boy quickly grabbed his towel back and started wrestling the offender
to stave off any embarrassment. Clark sensed he was supposed to join in on the
levity, but h e didn't see anything funny about making someone feel like they
wanted to crawl into a hole.
Out of the corner of his eye, he say Braden grinning, approaching him quickly
with his hand outstretched. Clark knew exactly what he intended to do, and
moved quicker than he should have. Braden just stood there, hand hanging in
mid-air looking dumbfounded.
He laughed uneasily "Damn Clark, I wasn't really going to do it…you sure move
fast."
He stared after him in a way Clark knew all too well. He decided to try and
make light of the moment, hoping Braden would decide nothing that odd had just
happened.
He grinned at him, throwing his soap in his direction. " Yeah, well keep your
hands to yourself."
That seemed to break the tension' and Braden returned his smile. "Don't be so
uptight Kent." And he disappeared into the shower room.
===============================================================================
"I know most of you have read the papers, and most of your parents probably
discussed the scandal at length when it happened. Most of what was in the
papers was true, but obviously there's much more to the story. So, in order for
you all to be able to concentrate, and trust me as your teacher, we're going to
use this time for you to ask me any questions you want. I will try and answer
as honestly as I can—within reason. The first question that seems too personal,
or inappropriate, the Q&A session ends, no second chances. That sounds fair to
everyone?"
The tension in the room was tangible; it was if all the boys were silently
daring each other to make the first move. Clark sat in the very last row in the
back. It'd been the only available seat because despite his best efforts he
arrived just a few seconds before the final bell rang, but gratefully, he still
made it in before Mr. Luthor, so his attempt at making a good impression wasn't
blown.
A boy, small for his age with reddish blonde hair sitting near the front was
the first to raise his hand.
Lex glanced down at a seating plan next to him. "Yes Edward…or is it Eddie?"
"Eddie sir. So, are you poor now, is it worth it."
Lex smiled, and Clark noticed his smile never seemed to make it past a bemused
smirk, but there was nothing rude in his manner. "No Edward, I'm not poor. I
have considerably less than my father, but my mother insured I'd be well
provided for even without my father's money. And there is this small thing of
working for a living."
There was a burst of uneasy laughter around the room. After Eddie broke the
ice, the questions begin to fly, everyone being careful not to get too
personal. Clark sat back and watched, not having the guts to ask a question
himself—though he wasn't sure what he'd ask anyway. The hour went by fast, with
Lex being engaging and interesting, answering all questions with a candor
unexpected from a teacher. There was an audible groan when Lex announced class
was coming to an end.
"While this was all very enlightening, be prepared to present at least one
company that is notorious for fair and progressive business practices in the
next class,. And Mr. Kent, I probably don't have to tell you it would be unfair
for you to use your own family's company."
Clark flushed from the sudden attention as every head in the classroom turned
to look at him. He tried to squeak out and answer, but the bell sounded before
he could.
Lex spoke over the din of chairs and boys scrapping across the old polished
floors.
"I want all the information on the companies you choose that is listed on the
board; which I'm sure all of you copied down when you first came into class.
Those of you who didn't will have to rely on the kindness of your classmates to
complete your assignment Have a good day gentlemen."
Judging by the panic look on over half the class faces, quite a few hadn't even
noticed the writing on the blackboard that said in very large letters
'Assignment #1' Clark hadn't noticed it either, but he said a silent thanks to
his photographic memory as he looked at the board and filed the information
away for later.
Mr. Kent?"
Clark promptly dropped his book as he stood up too quickly to answer. He had
been waiting for the rest of the class to file out before he made his exit.
He snatched the book up quickly. "Yes Mr. Luthor?"
"Can I see you for a moment?"
Clark frowned in confusion but approached his desk, where Lex sat perched on
the edge.
"I know I said you couldn't write about your own family's business, but feel
free to offer any information to the other boys, in fact your parent's business
plan is the basis for a lot of my teachings this year."
Clark didn't bother to hide the smile on his face as he swelled with pride.
It'd be so important to his parents that they build their business on honesty
and fairness, banking on the value of good product. It'd paid off, and now they
were opening six new stores along the west coast, which would grow the total
amount to thirty across the country.
"I know this is presumptuous of me, but you'll be choosing your independent
studies soon, and I'm writing a book on a better way to run corporations. I've
gotten permission from the Dean, and I'd love it if you'd consider assisting
me."
Clark didn't know what to say. He was honored of course, but the truth was, he
didn't really know the intrinsic details of how the company worked. His parents
wanted him to have as carefree an existence as possible, so they never burdened
him with the daily running of the business.
"I'm flattered Mr. Luthor, and believe me I'd love it. But I don't know how
much help I'd be, I mean any more than any other student. I don't really know
much about how the business is run."
Lex quickly dismissed his concern. "I wouldn't expect a sixteen year old to. If
you share their values, it's all I need. I'll handle the details. What I'm
trying to convey is an extension of a general life philosophy. Your business
should be run with the same values that you conduct your life with. That's all
I'm trying to get across, do you think you'd be willing to assist me?"
Clark beamed, grateful that at least something was going right his first few
days in school. "I'd love to. Thank you."
Lex stood and walked around to the other side of his desk. "Good, we'll discuss
it more next month when everyone starts their independent studies. You'd better
hurry or you'll be late for your next class."
Clark caught himself before he moved too quickly, and hurried out the door.
Lex watched him go, and tried to push down the idea that he had ulterior
motives for wanting Clark to be his student assistant. He couldn't deny being
drawn to him—it was hard not to. Few boys his age possessed such grace and
earnestness, and, well, lets face it, he was beautiful, but more importantly,
he was sixteen, and no matter how tall he was, he was still a kid. But he
honestly couldn't think of a better student to assist him. Lex sat down at his
desk to plan out his next lesson, convinced that he could keep his hands off of
Clark Kent.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Clark picked up his cell phone for the fifth time in the last few minutes. He
wished now he'd never asked for a new phone before he started school. Why did
he have to be so attracted to new gadgets, there was nothing wrong with his old
phone, it was only a year old, and now he was being punished because this new
one he just had to have clearly wasn't working. What else would explain why his
parents were now twelve minutes late with their first phone call?
Maybe it just wasn't charged—he grabbed the phone again to see the battery bar
full, mocking his impatience. He was so full of consternation he didn't duck in
time to avoid a wadded up t-shirt from colliding with his head. He pulled the
offending shirt off his face and glared at Braden.
"Damn Clark, are you expecting a call from the President or something?"
Clark just narrowed his eyes at him. "No."
"Oh! A girl, who is she Kent?"
Clark just shook his head, stealing another glance at his phone. "Braden..."
Braden smiled impishly. "A boy?"
Clark picked up the tee and hurled at Braden's Cheshire grin. "Definitely no."
Braden's only response was to break out in a fit of laughter— he was about to
choke out a response, when Clark's phone rang. Clark was so startled it
actually rang that he hesitated just long enough for Braden to reach the phone
first. He whipped his head around just in time to hear Braden brightly saying
"Hello" into his phone.
Clark tried to assess how much strength a normal person would use to grab a
phone away from someone else, but Braden twisted away from him laughing.
"Is this Clark's mystery lover? Oh. Hi Mrs. Kent!"
Clark whispered through clenched teeth. "Braden give me the phone."
But Braden just moved and continued talking. "Yes, he's right here, giving me
dirty looks. I swear Mrs. Kent if looks could kill your son would be up for
murder right now. But don't worry about him, I'm taking really good care of
him, and aside from that minor little scandal the other day, he's been doing
well here, I –"
Clark finally snatched the phone away, using slightly more speed than normal.
He grinned wide when he heard his mother's voice, forgetting to level one more
evil glare in Braden's direction.
"Hi Mom! Listen I should probably take this out in the hall, I don't think I
could hear you over Braden's insane laughing."
Clark shut the door behind him muffling Braden's cackling.
"Ok, I'm in the hall, I thought you'd forgotten to call."
"I'm sorry sweety, your father and I were in a meeting and it ran long. He's
just finishing up now, and he'll pick up the extension when he's done.
"Where are you?" It felt like he hadn't talked to them in forever and it'd only
been six days. He slipped into the telephone room, which was never used
anymore, and shut the door.
"We're still at the hotel. Its just an informal meeting with some of the local
growers, we're trying to feature as many local grown products as we can."
"How'd it go?"
"Well I think. They were naturally skeptical at first, but I think we've won
them over, or they just really enjoyed their lunch." His mother laughed a
little, and he realized how much he missed that sound. He swallowed against the
unexpected lump in his throat. His Dad was right; he was way too dependent on
them.
"Clark?"
He cleared his throat. "I'm here Mom."
He could feel his mother's smile through the phone. "Honey we miss you too."
How did she always know? He had to laugh a little at himself.
"Oh here comes your Dad."
He heard the line click and then the booming sound of his father's voice that
was always full of so much life. "Hey son! So how are you holding up?"
"Pretty good. So you got my dvd?"
"Yep, your mother and I watched it the second it arrived. I can't wait to see
your room and person. And Clark, I can't tell you enough how much we appreciate
you being willing to do this, I know its not easy, but I promise you, it'll get
better."
"I know Dad."
He stayed on the phone with them for over an hour. It was nice—the halls were
deserted and he could focus on just his parents and try to picture everything
they were telling him. They didn't talk about anything earth shattering, just
the mundane daily life stuff he took for granted and greatly missed now. They
were enjoying seeing California, and couldn't get over how green and lush the
Napa region was. They promised to take him back there next summer to see it.
Of course he wasn't allowed off the phone without some sage advice about his
friend situation. His Mother was concerned about him making friends with people
he didn't seem to respect, and they both warned him it could only lead to
problems later. He assured them that he didn't really consider them friends,
and that he couldn't afford to shun anyone right now.
The conversation ended all too soon, because Clark remembered he promised
Braden they'd study before dinner.
He sat there for a long moment after they hung up, letting everything sink in.
The conversation really brought home the fact that they were hundreds of miles
away. And even though he could be at their side in a matter of minutes, the
distance was suddenly tangible. He opened the door of the phone room finally,
when even his moping became too much for him and he just decided to get on with
it. He ran down the hall grinning with a new determination to pay Braden back
for his earlier insanity.
 
===============================================================================
 
Clark eased into life at Excelsior a lot more easily than he imagined. Partly
because he didn't cast his net very wide. Despite his parent's advice, he
stayed within the same small group of friends he'd met his first day there, and
while he didn't like many of them, it felt familiar. A steely stare after one
sarcastic comment too many had cooled the "hick-rich-boy from Kansas" talk, and
for once Clark was glad of his substantial size. Still an unease remained—he
never really got their jokes, which to him were mostly cruel comments, and he
didn't share their interests. More importantly Braden was a lot different
around them. 
He'd come to enjoy the Braden that drove him crazy in their dorm room, and
asked him for more help that should be acceptable with his homework. In more
quiet moments, Braden could be quite astute, always picking up on when he was
feeling particularly homesick, never making him feel like a total baby for
missing his parents.
Underneath the mask of the big wide grin and ready laugh, Braden was actually
very intelligent, and Clark often wondered why he put up with the general
banality of "the crew". Their only pastime seemed to be insulting each other
and everyone around them, all the while coming off superior and arrogant. There
was no room for genuine feelings or camaraderie—they were all locked in this
constant competition of words and assets and Clark didn't think he'd ever
understand the appeal. Kennedy and Damon seemed to be the leaders, and Braden
and Gareth seemed to be their reluctant followers, he hadn't figured out Jesse
yet, who seemed to have a mean streak all his own.
And it was Jesse Clark was avoiding today, when he decided to grab his lunch
and eat it alone by the small pond near the dorms. He wasn't in the mood to
hear his viscous maligning of whatever kid crossed their path today. He settled
on his favorite boulder, shaded by the tree, placing his lunch next to him, and
pulled his digi-cam out of his bag.
"Hey guys, it was good to finally talk to you. I know it was for my own good,
but I hated not being able to talk to you, so thanks Dad for the camera. And
you again get to see the lovely pond, lake, I'm not really sure, they call it a
pond, its kind of big though, don't you think? Things are Ok here. I'm really
enjoying my Economics class; Professor Luthor is amazing. I know I've shied
away from business and financial stuff in the past, but I'm learning its more
than just numbers, and, you'll be most happy about this Mom, I've learned a new
appreciation for how much goes into to running a business, so I apologize for
acting bored when you and Dad discuss business at dinner. Though you have to
admit, it is kind of boring. Just kidding. Oh, I know you mentioned I need to
try and find my own group of friends, and I will…I don't know why I'm so
reluctant. I guess part of me appreciates not having to fumble my way through
the friend circles, since I'm new here, and most of them have been together for
a while. I do like Braden, even though he's buts, and Gareth I like a lot, it's
just—"
"Sorry Clark, didn't mean to interrupt."
Clark blushed with embarrassment and closed the digi-cam. "No, its ok, I just,
um, didn't see you."
Lex laughed softly. "Relax Clark, I just saw you sitting here, and thought I'd
come over and say hello, and tell you some good news. The dean said you could
start working on the project with me as soon as next week, if you think you
handle it with your other work load."
Clark smiled up at him. "I can definitely handle it, that'd be great. My
parents are pretty excited about it."
Lex gestured to the boulder, and Clark removed what was left of his lunch so he
could sit.
"So what are you doing with the camera?"
"Oh, its just something I do for my parents…" he really hated his tendency to
blush. "Its just a way to kind of share this with them. My Dad got me this
camera so I could record messages to them…I know its completely dorky, but they
love this kind of stuff."
Lex just looked at Clark for a moment, and he couldn't really read his
expression, he thought he detected a faint note of sadness.
"You're really close to your parents, huh?"
Clark smiled before he could catch himself. "Yeah, I know I'm not supposed to
be—teenage rebellion and all, but they're like my best friends and greatest
protectors."
"You should never been ashamed of that. Most kids like to talk tough, but the
truth is, a lot of them would kill to have what you have."
He didn't know what that made him feel good; Braden had pretty much said the
same thing. But coming from a teacher he respected, it carried more weight.
"Thank you Professor."
Lex smiled more warmly now. "Call me Lex, at least out of the classroom.
Professor makes me feel old, and I'm not that much older than you."
Clark nodded, laughing that shy little laugh that for some reason always drove
Lex to very inappropriate thoughts. "Ok, Lex."
Lex leaned back on the boulder, slightly away from Clark. "Good. You know I met
your Dad once. I was a kid though. My father let me accompany him on a business
trip to Smallville. He wanted to buy the Ross's plant, even though he knew your
father had put in a bid for it. Mr. Ross agreed to the meeting, and your Dad
was there. My father was mercilessly cold to him, but your Dad didn't take the
bait. I always remembered that. He didn't lose his cool once, though I could
tell he'd have liked nothing more than to throw my father through the window. I
admired that at the time, and he was really nice to me too, offered to take me
around while my Dad had his meeting. My father wouldn't allow it of course.
Anyway, maybe its such a fond memory because it was right before everything
changed."
"Changed?"
"Yeah, the meteor shower, its how I lost my hair."
Clark turned away sharply, and a familiar knife twisted in his stomach. "Oh…"
"You're probably too young to remember it."
Clark just nodded, unable to find his voice.
"Anyway, I should get ready for my next class. Hey….you ok?"
Clark looked up and put on his most convincing smile. "Yeah, I'm fine, just
thinking about home I guess."
Lex nodded sympathetically. "Being away from home is never easy. I'll see you
tomorrow."
Clark waved, and leaned forward on the rock, just staring at the patterns the
sun made on the ponds surface. The one thing he hoped would be different here
was the constant reminder of how he came to this world. In Smallville it was
painted on people's faces, splattered all over their lives, and now he'd been
the cause of the change in Lex's life too.
He put his camera away, no longer in the mood to finish. As much as he loved
his family and his life in general, he knew he'd take it all back in a
heartbeat if he could—anything to spare innocent people the pain they've had to
endure. Even though his parents had drummed into him since that fateful day
almost two years ago that it wasn't his fault, a part of him always felt a
responsible.
The bell rang in the distance and Clark gathered his things and headed back
toward the building, trying to shake off his sudden dark mood. He thought of
the movie night Braden planned, complete with popcorn and smuggled R-rated
movies in the common room. Braden had bribed the RAs sufficiently and assured
everyone they would not be disturbed. That made him smile a little, and he
picked up the pace to his next class.
 
===============================================================================
 
Hands trailed his skin, making every pore tingle with anticipation. His entire
body was bathed in a warmth that seemed to radiate from the inside. He sighed
heavily, as the hands continued to explore parts of his body that had yet to
awakened. Beads of sweat glistened on his skin as a surge of intangible
pleasure spread through him, settling in a warm pool in his abdomen. He reached
down to touch it, and it felt hot and sticky. Since when was his stomach
sticky?
Clark woke with a start, a small moan still caught in his throat, panting
softly with a hand still on his belly that was definitely in contact with
something wet and sticky. He glanced under his sheets and saw his very erect
penis nudging above the top of his boxers, still wet with whatever was on his
stomach. What the hell, did he just? –his mind immediately raced back to sixth
grade health class, the day when the boys and girls had been separated and told
about the "changes in their bodies", changes that had never happened to Clark,
and all this time he just assumed that in this he was also different from
everyone else. Leave it to him to not have his first wet dream until he was
sixteen.
He snatched up a t-shirt he'd thrown carelessly at the end of his bed, and
glanced over at Braden, who's curled form didn't stir under his sheets. Clark
got out of bed and slipped the t-shirt over his head, stretching the fabric as
far down as it would go without tearing. After grabbing a clean pair of boxers
from his drawer, he tiptoed across the room, hoping to make it to the bathroom
without running into anyone.
He eased the door open and peaked into the hall—it was all clear. Just as he
was about to step into the hall, a groggy voice stopped him.
"Geez Clark, what's with all the moaning...you still have wet dreams?"
It was one of those moments when you're too mortified to move. He stood there,
frozen for what seemed like an eternity as bright red crept up his neck and
erupted on his face. He tried frantically to think of something clever to say,
to find some way to laugh it off, but all he managed to croak out was " Uh….."
so he quickly slipped out the door, shutting it behind him.
He ran to the bathroom, and headed straight for the shower room. It was empty
thankfully, and Clark pealed off his clothes and turned the water on full
blast. He stood under the spray staring down at his penis, now beginning to
lose some of its rigidity, like it was out to get him.
Other boys had books, movies, even Google to help them understand what was
going on with their bodies. They could talk it over with other boys their age,
compare notes, share stories—Clark remembered that time well; all the bragging
to mask embarrassment in the gym locker rooms. But what was he supposed to do?
Not even his parents could provide answers. On the outside he looked like
everyone else, but inside he could be anything.
Aside from the fact that he already knew it wasn't normal that he hadn't had an
erection before now, he had no way of knowing what was coming next, and if it
would be something he could keep to himself. He had no idea how his species
matured, for all he knew he could suddenly turn blue and sprout wings.
He stepped from beneath the shower spray and leaned his back against the tile.
He glanced down at his penis again that still stood somewhat at attention, and
without thinking gave it a gentle tug. A surge of heat rose through him, and he
pulled it again, this time harder, and after the third tug he threw his head
back and came somewhat noisily. His head felt like it was on fire, and warm cum
coated his fingers. The rush of heat settled behind his eyes and he almost
screamed from the sudden pain that faded as quickly as it arrived.
This was not good.
And it didn't get any better as the day wore on. His penis decided to exercise
its new skill throughout the day at the most bizarre times and for no reason
Clark could see. In economics class in particular he was grateful that their
school uniforms included a blazer, and that a few of the boys had taken to
wearing their oxfords un-tucked. For once Clark decided he'd be fashionable as
he yanked his shirt out of his pants while trying to pay attention to what
Professor Luthor was telling the class. It was something about a group
assignment, but the throbbing in his pants was making it difficult to focus.
"…So you'll pair off into groups of three and create a mock corporation. You'll
decide on your product, create a business plan and secure financial backing.
We'll follow your company's progress through the rest of the semester. Once
your companies have been approved, you'll go public, and we'll have a real
stock market you can trade on. Any questions?"
Several hands went up and Clark just sat there wondering what he missed. Gareth
leaned over to ask him if he'd be one of his partners.
" I think Jordan would be interested too…"
Clark just nodded, wishing Gareth wouldn't lean so close to him. Even the
slightest brush against his skin when he was in this state sent a thousand
heated pinpricks all over his skin. Fortunately Lex clearing his throat and
looking pointedly at Gareth made him lean back in his chair.
"You can all decide on your business partners after class. I want you to have
your partners and product ready for discussion next class."
The bell rang and everyone stood as Lex reminded them of an upcoming test,
reminded them anyone who cheated would be forced to listen to the headmasters
lectures on tape. Everyone laughed as they filed out, and Clark jumped up ready
to run out of the class before anyone noticed just how alert he was.
Bjut through the laughter he heard his name called in a familiar voice.
"Clark, could you come here for a second?"
Dammit. Clark walked up to Lex's desk, tugging at his shirt.
"Yes, Professor, I mean Lex…I mean Professor."
"Clark are you ok? You look a little flushed."
Clark nodded, wishing he would just get to the point. "Yeah, I'm fine, I mean
I'm just a little warm I think."
"Well, I wanted to firm up our working schedule. Are Wednesday and Friday
evenings ok with you? We can always add more time if we need it. Are you sure
you don't want a pass to the nurse?"
"No, really, I'm fine."
Maybe he could just cut the whole thing off, but knowing him, it'd just grow
back. He shifted his leather satchel forward, which he realized was dumb
because it just drew attention to what he was trying to hide. Well maybe Lex
hadn't noti—Oh God.
Lex bit back a smile, and stifled a laugh, remembering all too well the
predicament Clark found himself in. He decided to cut the poor kid a break.
"So, Wednesday and Friday work for you?"
"What? Oh, yes. I really have to…."
Lex smiled despite his best efforts. "Its ok Clark, Go. You should probably
hurry."
Clark just sighed. "By, Lex, and I'm really sorry."
Lex's smile widened and he couldn't keep the levity out of his voice. "No need
to apologize. Happens to all of us."
He wondered if he pinched himself really hard would he wake up, because none of
this could really be happening, it'd just be too cruel. Clark turned quickly
and exited the classroom as fast as he could without using any powers. He
wondered now why he ever thought reaching sexual maturity would be fun. This
was like a small nightmare. He pressed his hands against his eyes that would
not stop itching and burning, and hoped it would all be over soon.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Mind over matter—he didn't have to give into his overactive libido; he could
control it. If he simply told it to go away and stop trying to bust through the
fabric of his pants, it would. Or so the theory said. Unfortunately, it was
just another human cliché that didn't seem to apply to aliens, though he
couldn't be certain it applied to humans either. It was just something more
evolved people said to make others feel hopeless.
Somehow he made it through the rest of the day without too much incident. He'd
figured out he was most active in the morning and evening. Even still, he
wasn't up to facing "the crew" at dinner, so he headed towards the grove of
trees lining the property and went for a walk instead, not bothering to grab
any food, condemning himself to a meal of whatever was in the dorm vending
machines.
The days were already getting shorter and the sun had begun its descent, making
the trees look black and ominous against the darkening sky. The scene reflected
his mood perfectly. He kicked a rock that blocked his path and watched it soar
through the trees, cutting through the brush, leaving splintering branches in
its wake. He crushed another in his hand, tossing the remnants deep into the
grove. He hadn't realized how angry he was.
All day he'd kept the self-pitying phrase out of his head. "Its not fair,"
because his Dad always warned him about sulking.
"Sulking leads to standing still—thinking leads to action."
Well, easy for him to say. He didn't have a raging hard-on and blinding pain
behind his eyes to accompany it. And how exactly could his parents help even if
they were here? What was he supposed to do, ask his Dad if he'd help him figure
out how to control the pain while he masturbated? His stomach clinched at the
very thought. This time he was on his own, and he was even more clueless than
the time he started to see straight through people's skin and saw their
skeletons smiling at him. He still remembered falling in gym class when his
best friend turned into a pulpy mass of tendons and muscles.
He felt a small surge of heat behind his eyes, and then they cooled
immediately. He knew his "problem" was dormant for a while. It'd been like that
all day, each time the heat intensifying. He had no idea why his eyes were
involved with his penis, but the connection was undeniable. He circled back
along the edge of the grove, intending to go further when he heard his name
called in the distance.
"Clark, I see you! Where are you going? You know you'll get reamed if they see
you this far off the grounds after dark."
Clark sighed heavily—suppressing a word his mother would never approve of and
started up the hill towards Braden and Jesse.
"They wouldn't know anything if you didn't shout it across the field."
Braden grinned. "Oops, you're probably right. Where were you anyway? You missed
dinner."
Clark fell into step beside them. "I wasn't hungry."
Jesse snickered a little. "Whats wrong Kent, are you all sad with
homesickness?"
Clark shot him a sharp look and didn't answer. He was not in the mood for one
of Jesse's infamous teasing sessions. He heard Braden whisper to Jesse to leave
him alone, but that just spurned Jesse on.
"Relax Bradey, you act like he's some delicate child or something. I'm sure
Kent can speak for himself, besides he knows I'm kidding."
Clark stopped and turned to look at him. "Well, you're not funny, so maybe you
need a new routine."
"Maybe you need to stop being so damn uptight all the time. You definitely know
how to suck all the fun out of the air."
Braden looked worriedly at both of them, as the tension between them continued
to rise.
"Its ok Clark, Jesse was just being his usual—"
"I definitely don't need you speaking for me."
Clark was suddenly sick of everything, and wanted nothing more than to run and
not stop until he was far away from there. And he knew he should have just
walked away, leaving Jesse to stew, but his emotions seemed to be on the
surface all day.
"Someone with half a brain should speak for you, it'd be a nice change."
"Fuck you Kent." Jesse shoved him, but Clark didn't allow his body to give, and
Jesse would have had better luck trying to push a brick wall.
Jesse stepped back rubbing his wrists, while he stood there glaring at him, and
part of him enjoyed the look of uncertainty and fear that crossed Jesse's face,
but another part of him was sickened that he had been the one to put it there.
Clark turned away from both of them sharply and headed in the direction of the
pond.
Clark felt badly for Braden, who'd been innocent in all this, and he knew he
hated any kind of confrontation, but at that moment, he didn't care—he didn't
care about anything.
"Clark..come on!"
"Oh let him go, that guy's a pain in the ass anyway. You coming or not Bradey,
Damon and the other guys are waiting in the lounge for us."
Clark could almost feel Braden's hesitation, but in the next moment, he heard
his footsteps retreat along with Jesse's.
Lex watched the whole event unfold from the window of his rooms. He knew from
experience it was better not to intervene in these little squabbles, to let the
boys work it out for themselves first. He'd been surprised to see Clark
involved in any altercation, but he had to admit he seemed a little off in
class earlier. Of course raging hormones can do that to you. He found it
strange since Clark already seemed older than his sixteen years in some
respects. He remembered what a moody little shit he had been when going through
the same thing; of course he had bigger concerns than hormones even then.
He'd wondered when he took the job if it would bring up too many painful
memories, but the most painful thing had been seeing how little things had
changed. The cruelties were still there, this time instead of him being the
target of malice, it was another boy, too small for his age. Same pompous
attitudes, same blatant disregard for how fortunate they were. He'd been guilty
of that himself, until he saw first hand how dark this world could become if
you gave into its excesses. Clark Kent had been the only bright spot, because
he seemed untouched by all of this. His parents had miraculously instilled in
him the values he hoped to instill in most of his students, and it was plainly
displayed in the earnestness in his bright blue-green eyes, and the easy blush
of his cheeks. He only hoped Clark could retain the inner goodness he admired
after two years at Excelsior.
He watched Clark walking resolutely towards the large pond, and decided he
might like an evening stroll himself.
===============================================================================
Clark walked along the muddy edge of the pond until he found his favorite
boulder. The sky was completely dark now and the pond looked like a purple pool
with the full moon overhead glinting on it creating an eerie reflective light.
He could hear the sounds of random chatter and laughter as students headed into
the dorms for the evening. He dropped his bag on the ground and closed his
eyes, trying to push all the anger that'd been building inside of him all day
away. He didn't know why this whole thing was distressing him. It was just
sexual maturity; not the end of the world, boys went through it everyday. The
only difference was, most boys could be pretty certain of its outcome, and he
didn't know if he'd ever get to use his burgeoning penis on an actual woman
without doing serious damage. As if on cue, it rose to the occasion, and Clark
started rubbing his eyes vigorously. To make matters worse he saw a tall figure
approaching. He'd been so engrossed in his own head, he hadn't noticed the
sound of footsteps coming closer, and now it was too late to disappear without
being noticed. 
"Clark?"
He looked up and half-heartedly waved Braden over.
"I thought you were watching movies again in the lounge."
Braden looked positively sheepish. He stood there shuffling back and forth,
taking a step forward then stopping. In an instant he seemed to remember they
were alone and Clark probably wasn't one to hold a grudge. He walked over and
stood in front of him.
"Jesse is an asshole"
Clark looked up, wishing Braden would just go away now, but he knew he'd be
hurting the wrong person if he told him so.
"Yes, he is."
"I'm sorry Clark, I didn't really know what to do."
He knew how much it took Braden to admit he didn't know anything other than
calculus, and he felt some of the anger dissipating.
"Its ok, I'm just not in the mood for Jesse today I guess."
Braden sat next to him on the boulder. "Maybe, he's still an ass though."
"I don't know why you hang out with him—with most of them."
Braden just shrugged, and he knew the subject was closed.
"What are you doing sitting in the woods in the dark anyway, its creepy.
There's even a full moon. Are you a werewolf or something?"
Clark shifted away from him, as his "problem" continued to raise its ugly head.
"Damn Clark, stop being so fidgety, what's wrong?"
Braden reached over to touch his shoulder, and Clark flinched.
"God, Braden…don't"
"Whats wrong with you? Oh!" Braden started to laugh when he saw the predicament
he was in, but stopped when Clark bent over and let his head fall into his
hands, mumbling "Its not funny."
"Sorry. Wow, what's going on with you?" He tried to pull Clark up to a sitting
position.
"Braden, stop!"
"Clark, its not like I've never seen a boner before. I heard you moaning in
your sleep, so it's not some big secret. You probably just need to wank off
more, I never hear you doing that."
Clark turned five shades of red. He really didn't want to have this
conversation.
"Let me see."
"What?! No!"
"Clark stop being such a baby."
Braden kept tugging on his shoulder, until finally he had to allow him to pull
him up for fear he'd snap his wrists.
"Damn, you're huge. You'd think it would go down some by now." He reached his
hand over to touch it.
Clark jerked. "What are you doing?!"
"Relax Clark, I'm helping."
Braden rubbed it gently through the fabric of his pants, and his penis gave a
little jerk, sending an incredible wave of heat and pleasure that seemed to
spread through his veins. Clark leaned his head back against the tree, pushing
Braden's hand away.
Braden ignored him and unzipped his pants. "Um..Braden..?"
"Shhh …it'll be over quickly."
Apparently Braden was an expert, because his penis came alive in his hand, and
he could barely control the low noises escaping his throat. He came to his
senses briefly and was about to insist he let go, when Branden rubbed the
sensitive skin on the underside of his penis causing him to moan loudly. It
shocked him how his body responded to his touch. It obviously knew something he
didn't, and Braden stroked harder until Clark was practically squirming off the
rock.
"Will you hold still?"
"I…"
Before he could apologize he felt a rush of heat explode behind his eyes. The
heat was so intense his eyes flew open, and the pond in front of them sizzled
and smoked. Clark stared incredulously at the smoke now receding into the cool
water. He was still panting and he felt his penis erupt into Braden's waiting
palm. He felt like he'd been suddenly doused in cool water, as his breathing
returned to normal.
Braden chuckled softly and wiped his hand on the grass. "Well, that was
intense."
Clark just glanced at him and everything that just happened hit him at once. He
thought about digging himself a hole in the earth and staying there until next
summer.
Braden gently rubbed the head of his now flaccid penis, and tucked it away into
Clark's boxers, even zipping up his pants for him.
"Feel better?"
Clark just nodded, not really wanting to look at Braden right now. Inside he
was panicking. His roommate had just jerked him off—more importantly he'd
allowed his roommate to jerk him off—his male roommate, and he liked it, or his
body did. But even more important he was pretty sure he'd caused the pond to
sizzle and smoke, and he was certain some sort of heat had come from his eyes.
Great! He felt like crying, but he wasn't going to, not while sitting on a
boulder in the woods next to his friend who's hand was still sticky from his
cum.
Braden stood up. "Look, its not a huge deal. I just wanted to, and it worked
out for both of us. I'm going back inside. You coming?"
"Um, yeah, in a minute. And thanks…." Thanks?!
Braden smiled looking a little relieved. "Any time Clark, any time." And
disappeared in the trees.
Lex had entered the woods just after Braden did, and had almost headed back
when he realized he couldn't explain why a teacher would follow a student into
the woods. But seeing how distraught Clark looked, he waited. And what followed
shocked him. He'd had his suspicions about Braden, but Clark didn't strike him
as anything more than completely hetero. He couldn't really hear their
conversation as he stood hidden by the shadows of several large oaks, and it
did seem like Braden was the one doing most of the initiating. All common sense
told him to walk away, but he stood there riveted, watching Clark's face flush
with pleasure, and his red mouth slack as he moaned softly. Not even the pope
himself could turn away, and Lex was far from a saint. He left before the magic
moment, knowing seeing Clark Kent reach orgasm would do him in. He walked back
towards the teacher housing, pants tightening with every step, wondering how
he'd ever get through class on Thursday,
Clark sat there for a few minutes, but his thoughts were much too jumbled. The
only thought in his head that made any sense caused him to finally stand up,
take one look at the dorms in the distance, and start running the other way. He
was determined not to stop running until he reached California.
***** Chapter 5 *****
The sun was just beginning to set when he could see the Golden Gate Bridge in
the distance. Clark had run across three states and hundreds of miles without
stopping, all in a panic. His anxiety hadn't subsided any as he headed north of
San Francisco towards St Helena, where his parents were staying. In mere
seconds he was in the middle of lush green wine country, and understood
immediately why his parents had wanted him to see it. He stopped and asked a
small market where the Meadowood Resort was, and found it with no problem.
When he reached his parent's suite it was like everything inside him settled
into one massive lump in his throat. He swallowed hard and rang the little bell
shaped like a grapevine. He heard his mother's warm voice sing out "Come in!"
and his father's soft mumble of "Finally, room service."—and the lump swelled
in his throat. He opened the door and stood there on the threshold watching his
parent's faces change from delight to worry. But the moment he opened his mouth
to explain; to his horror, he burst into tears.
===============================================================================
His father sat the plate of food from room service in front of him, while his
mother continued to wipe his face. He just stared at the plate—even though he
was starving he didn't think he could eat a bite. For the first time he could
remember he was completely embarrassed in front of his parents. He knew they
didn't care and were only worried, but he hated to fall apart like that; he
never cried, and he knew he'd really scared them.
His father looked from his untouched plate to his very pink face. "Do you want
something else son? The food here is pretty amazing."
Clark shook his head, avoiding his father's eyes. "I'm not that hungry Dad."
His mother wiped his remaining tears off his face. "Then do you want to tell us
what happened sweetheart?"
He shook his head again.
Jonathan sighed. "Clark…maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you should
just stay here with us and we can get a full-time tutor."
"No Dad, I'm Ok. I'm sorry, something happened and I panicked and just ran."
His mother brushed his bangs away from his face. "Well it would help if you
would just tell us what happened."
"Um…I..". Martha watched his cheeks darken and he kept his eyes shifted
pointedly away from her. She understood immediately that whatever happened
should probably be handled by his father.
Martha cleared her throat. "I'm going in the other room and ordering you a
cheeseburger and fries, you need to eat something Clark." She got up from the
table and walked into the suite bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
Jonathan watched her leave puzzled, but turned his attention back to his son.
He peered under Clark's bangs. "Come on son, what is it, I've haven't seen you
this upset since you were eight. What's going on?"
Clark pushed the plate away from him and became very interested in the wood
grain of the table, wondering if it was maple or oak. How should he even begin?
He looked at his dad's kind blue eyes and thought the best way was to just say
it all at once before he got too scared to continue.
"I think…I mean I'm….I've hit puberty…." So much for getting to the point.
Jonathan moved his chair closer. "Well, Clark, I mean you're sixteen and look
pretty mature, I guess we just assumed that had happened already. Um, forgive
me for not being clear, but by puberty you mean you're um..maturing sexually?"
He hated this, he absolutely hated this. He raked his hand through his hair,
tugging hard on the curls in frustration. "Yeah…"
Jonathan smiled warmly. "Clark, every boy goes through the same thing, I guess
you're just a little late. And I know its embarrassing and frustrating, but son
its nothing to worry about."
He looked at his Dad like he'd lost his mind. "Dad I think you're forgetting
one very important thing—I'm an alien!"
Jonathan was suddenly grateful for the seclusion of their suite, though he
couldn't imagine anyone taking a boy shouting "I'm an alien" seriously. He'd
never say raising Clark had been easy. Unfortunately he didn't come with an
instruction manual, so they never knew what to expect year to year, and somehow
they still managed to raise a very normal, kind, well-adjusted boy. It was not
lost of either of them what a miracle that was. They'd made it through super-
speed, x-ray vision, and floating above his bed. Whatever this was, they'd pull
through as well. He couldn't begin to imagine what his unique problem could be,
his brain wouldn't let him go there, but it was obviously causing Clark great
distress.
"Clark I know its hard on you every time you get a new ability, and you're away
from us, and I know you have to be scared. But son, its probably just the added
stress of school that's making this seem like the end of the world."
He just looked at his Dad—he'd have to just say it. "You're not—Dad I..when
I…Oh God." So much for the direct approach.
"Just say it son, remember you can talk to us about anything."
There was simply no way around it, he took a deep breath, "When I had what I'm
pretty sure was an orgasm, fire shot from my eyes."
His father certainly wasn't expecting that. "Clark, um, are you sure, I mean
did something catch fire?"
Clark shook his head.
"Then son, why do you think—"
"Well the lake just smoked."
"The lake? Wait, you were outside?!"
"I couldn't help it Dad!"
"Ok, ok, just calm down. We'll figure this out."
Clark was on his feet. "How! How are we supposed to figure this out? I mean
should I practice? What am I supposed to do? This is different, I'm a freak and
I'm sick of it!"
He felt like he was going insane. He didn't want to yell, but his emotions were
all over the place. Why the fact that it was Braden that caused the fire to
shoot from his eyes bothered him more than anything was beyond him—fire shoots
from his eyes and he's more worried that he might be gay.
Jonathan almost felt at a lost, but he wasn't giving up. He couldn't imagine
what Clark was going through. He was such a loving person, and he knew that he
had to be worried he'd never be able to have a normal relationship with anyone.
He'd never quite gotten over the fact that there was no other person of his
species out there, and now he was faced with an incredible barrier to having a
relationship with a human.
"Ok…Listen to me Clark. We don't have time to be embarrassed or shy about. any
of this. This is a huge problem, and I get that, I really do."
Clark stopped pacing and looked his Dad with wide very sad eyes.
"Now, I need you to think, before the fire shot from your eyes, what did you
eyes do?"
"I'm not sure…"
Jonathan took a deep breath. "And did the fire come from your eyes before or
after you….you know."
"Um…before."
Jonathan allowed himself a small smile. "Well, that's good, that means its more
than likely triggered by the arousal, not the….um..release."
Clark looked at him puzzled. "What difference does that make?"
"Well, it means its triggered by your thoughts—chemical reactions, and its not
part of your…biology."
Clark continued to stare at him blankly. He was sure his cheeks were inflamed
and he wished he didn't have to have this conversation, but he was grateful his
Dad was trying to make it as comfortable as possible for him.
"What I'm saying Clark is that there's probably some muscles in your eyes at
work that can be controlled. So the next time you're um…well the next
opportunity you have, just pay attention to the muscles in your eyes and see if
you can't make it happen without being aroused first. Does that make sense?"
He nodded, he was willing to try anything. "I really hope you're right Dad, I
don't want to have to give up dating for fear I'll incinerate the person I'm
with."
Jonathan put his arms on Clark's shoulders and looked him squarely in the eyes.
"I know its always hard when a new ability of yours springs up, but you'll
learn to control this just like you learned to control all the others. Ok?"
Clark smiled for the first time and nodded. His Dad pulled him into a strong
hug, and Clark mumbled against his shoulder.
"What's that?"
"I said, thanks for not leaving me in the cornfield."
Jonathan smiled and kissed his head. His mother, who'd been listening in the
next room walked back in.
"Cheeseburger is on its way."
"Thanks Mom….what about dessert?"
His mother laughed at his resilience. "Chocolate cake and ice cream are on
their way too."
He just walked over and hugged his Mom, staying in her arms for a little longer
then he intended.
"I'll go call the school and tell them we're in town and we'll have you back in
school the day after tomorrow."
A huge smile spread across his face, and he could hardly believe that twenty
minutes ago he was crying like a giant baby. "I can stay?"
His Dad laughed. "Just for tomorrow. We're taking the day off and we can show
you around a bit. But don't make a habit of this. If you're intent on going to
this school you have to stay there unless there's a holiday, or we let you come
for a weekend. Ok?"
"I promise."
There was a knock at the door, and he ran to let room service in, he was
starving.
Once he had his food in front of him, he realized something else was still
bothering him.
"Um Dad?"
"Yeah, son?"
"Do you think because I'm 'different' that maybe almost anyone can trigger
my…um...you know."
His father sat down at the table, while his mother re-heated their food in the
small kitchen.
"I'm not sure, why do you ask?"
"Oh, no reason…I was just wondering."
He just smiled weakly and picked up his cheeseburger wondering how on earth he
was going to face Braden when he got back to school.
 
===============================================================================
Lex was surprised when Clark didn't show up for economics class, and normally
he was required to let the Dean's office know if a student had an unexplained
absence, but he decided to pull Clark's friend Gareth aside instead.
Gareth always had the sense that Professor Luthor could be trusted and decided
to forgo the lie.
He shrugged. "Braden was looking for him last night, he said he never came
inside after he ran into him after dinner. Should we be worried?"
Lex smiled trying to mask his alarm. "No, probably not, but let me know if you
hear anything."
Gareth nodded and hurried off to his next class.
It was very unlike Clark to just skip a class, especially his class where he
excelled so much. They were to begin working on his book together that week, so
it was even more baffling why he'd risk disciplinary action by cutting class.
Lex went into his office across the hall from the classroom to check his mail.
And there it was—a message from the Dean's office telling him Clark would be
absent today due to "family emergency." He sat down at his desk feeling
relieved, but also concerned. At first he wondered if it had anything to do
with what he witnessed the previous night. Braden was definitely the initiator
and he assumed Clark would have stopped him if he didn't like it. Maybe he was
more freaked about it than he seemed.
It was no secret boys at that age liked to experiment, especially ones who
boarded. You take a group of adolescent boys with raging hormones and put them
together in such close quarters, you're bound to get a lot of confusion and
misunderstanding. Most boys returned to a completely hetero lifestyle with no
problem, just chalking it up to one ill-timed hard on too many, but some like
himself, found their time in boarding school just the beginning of what was to
be a way of life. He imagined Braden fell into that category and Clark did not.
Even more reason he needed to stop fantasizing about him—straight or not, he
was still only sixteen and a student, and Lex had given up compromising his
morality long ago.
===============================================================================
Clark stood on the small balcony while his mother ordered dinner and his father
took a quick phone call. He really missed this—a seeming never-ending expanse
of land that disappeared into the horizon. His parents were right, Napa was a
really beautiful place, a lot different than Kansas. His home was the earthy
color of wheat and gold—here everything was green and lush, dappled with the
deep violet of the wine grapes everywhere.
 
He'd seen as much of it as his parents could show him in a few hours, and he
understood why his parents loved it there so much. They really believed in the
principles behind their products, and there didn't seem to be a preservative
within 50 miles of Napa. He smiled a little remembering how much food he'd
consumed that day, and now he was getting ready to have the last meal he'd have
with his parents for a while before he headed back to school.
He'd taken the second bedroom in the suite, which was fortunately on the other
side of the living room, so he could have the privacy and quiet he needed that
first evening. He was emotionally drained and more tired than he realized when
he climbed into the bed that was much nicer than his puny dorm one.
After he'd eaten his cheeseburger, he thought long and hard about what his
father said. He knew he tended to freak out a little when he got a new ability,
forgetting that time and patience usually solved the problem. But he'd never
had a problem like this before. When he felt his libido rising again in the
middle of night, he slipped out of the room and raced to a large grove that
seemed to neighbor nothing but miles of trees and hills, and for once stopped
panicking and paid attention. His eyes muscles did contract and expand, and he
tried to recreate the movements without the aid of a raging hard-on. After a
few tries it worked, and soon he was creating small fires, learning that he
could control the intensity of the heat by the way he moved the muscles.
By the time the sky was turning to a pale orange and blue, he decided being
able to shoot heat from your eyes was actually pretty cool.
His mother surprised him and served a meal she cooked herself, with all of his
favorite foods, and he swore they tasted better than he remembered. After
dinner they sent him off with hugs that lasted a little too long and kisses
that dampened his cheeks—and just before he got ready to break into a run, his
mother handed him a bag swimming with smell of warm spice cake. His smile
nearly cracked his face and his kissed his mother again and sprinted off into
the dusk.
===============================================================================
He returned to school during the dinner hour so he could delay inevitable
confrontation with. It probably wasn't wise to use his speed until he was
outside of his dorm, but he didn't care, he didn't want to risk running into
anyone. He felt like what happened wit Braden was painted on his face and he
dreaded the morning when he'd have to face everyone. He groaned when he
remembered the confrontation with Jesse, and flopped down on his bed, pulling
his pillow over his head, wondering if anyone would care if he just stayed in
his room until Christmas.
 
"Oh, you're back."
Clark jumped a little and removed the pillow from his face. He couldn't believe
he didn't notice Braden walking through the door.
"Yeah."
Braden was looking at him like he was trying to see where he was broken. "I
never would have thought you'd ditch school, where'd you go?"
"My parents were in town, and I decided to go see them. I didn't mean to
disappear."
Braden looked a little relieved and broke into a wide grin. "You're definitely
weird Kent. I can't believe your parents let you skip class."
"It was a last minute trip; they called me right after you...um, left."
Braden's smile widened. "Oh yeah…" He sat down next to Clark, a little too
close he thought.
"I thought you freaked out or something. So it didn't bother you?" Clark
shifted away from him uneasily.
"Braden….I'm not, I mean I don't know what to say…"
Braden studied him for a moment as Clark inched further away. He stood up and
his mood changed abruptly. He tried to hide it with a smile, but Clark knew him
too well not to see the disappointment.
"There's nothing to say. I know this is your first time in boarding school, so
you probably think it means something. I mean we're all stuck in here together
and sometimes we help each other out, that's all, it's no big deal."
Braden was busy pulling stuff out of drawers to get ready for bed—Clark noticed
he didn't bother trying to keep that grin plastered on his face anymore.
"I'm sorry."
Braden whirled around. "For what?"
Clark shrugged, he knew this conversation was headed no where good. "I don't
know, I just feel like I should apologize."
"Well obviously I should be the one apologizing."
"No, its not…. look Braden I'm not good at this. I mean the whole thing just
confused me."
Braden laughed and there was nothing friendly about it. "You live in your head
too much Clark. Always trying to put more weight to things than is needed. You
were having issues and I decided to help you out, and I was just curious,
that's all, it doesn't mean I want to run off and have ten of your babies."
Clark narrowed his eyes a bit, he could feel his own anger rising. "I guess I
have a lot to learn then."
Braden went over and grabbed his toiletry bag off his dresser, mumbling. "Yeah,
I guess you do."
He straightened up and looked at Clark, all pretense of friendliness was gone.
"Oh, by the way, Jesse is really pissed. He used your absence to go on and on
about what a jerk you are. Damon of course agreed, and Kennedy, well you know
how Kennedy is, he doesn't really like anyone. Anyway, you probably shouldn't
sit with us at breakfast tomorrow unless you want to deal with Jesse. I think
you scared him a little, so I doubt he'll seek you out. I really am sorry
Clark, but I tried."
Braden's gaze soften a little, but Clark knew he didn't have to bother to ask
where Braden would be sitting in the morning. He just sighed and nodded.
"Thanks for the warning. I guess my days were numbered anyway."
Braden gave him a small sympathetic smile, then headed out the door, and Clark
realized Braden couldn't stay mad at anyone for longer than five minutes. He
fully expected him to just explode in a ball of stuffed down rage one day.
Clark stood and began yanking off his clothes in frustration. Clad in only his
boxers, he decided to skip the nightly trip to the bathroom and just climbed
into bed. If aliens could get headaches, he was sure he'd have one. Traipsing
around Northern California with his parents was beginning to sound more and
more appealing. But his father's words echoed in his head—"Quitting is a hard
habit to break." He sighed heavily and wished for once he knew how to quit. He
ran all the good things about the school in his head, remembering that he was
starting research with Professor Luthor that week, which quelled the imaginary
headache some.
By the time Braden came back, Clark was facing the window, pretending to be
asleep.
***** Chapter 6 *****
True to their word, "the crew" made an ostentatious show of snubbing him the
next morning at breakfast. As he made his way past their table, Jesse glared at
him with such intensity it was almost comical. Damon smirked, and his eyes
glinted with satisfaction over his fall from grace. Kennedy was more interested
in his waffles and barely glanced in his direction, while Braden looked up
sheepishly but quickly looked down towards his plate careful not to look up
again. Gareth was the only one who looked at him with any sympathy, but his
attention was diverted when Damon leaned over to say something to him.
He didn't know why it should bother him; he didn't even like them. But he still
felt the sharp sting of the public humiliation, and he was now completely
alone, the one thing he'd fought to avoid since his first day on campus. He
made his way over to the single tables by the windows and sat down. Suddenly
his plate piled high with waffles and eggs didn't seem so appealing. Clark
dropped his fork on the tray and stared out the window trying to picture
rolling hills with miles of grapes, instead of the large red oak that leaves
were turning early. Like the melancholy teen he was turning into, all he could
think about was that the leaves would be falling soon, not the brilliant color
that lit up the dreary branches.
"May I join you?"
He was so engrossed in picturing dead leaves that he didn't even notice someone
had approached his table. He didn't bother hiding his surprise at Professor
Luthor standing in front of him, and for a fleeting moment he thought sitting
with a teacher would do nothing to boost his plummeting popularity, but no one
else was offering, so he smiled good-naturedly and gestured towards the empty
chair.
"So what happened Clark? I see the crew is missing a member."
Clark looked down at his plate, suddenly embarrassed. He shrugged and looked at
Lex through his lashes. "I was never a member really."
Lex eyed him, wishing he'd stop looking like a puppy someone just kicked. "But
something did happen right? You usually sit with them."
Clark remained silent, and started cutting his waffles, hoping he wasn't coming
off too rude. He just didn't want to talk about it.
"I'm sorry Professor Luthor, its nothing."
"I'm not really a professor yet, and its ok to tell me you don't want to talk
about it."
Clark looked up with a slight smile. "I don't want to talk about it."
Lex returned his smile. "See? Now isn't the simple truth better?"
He nodded, his smile growing wider. "Sure you want to be seen with me? Its
social suicide."
"I'll take my chances."
Lex watched as Clark's demeanor changed—the tautness in his shoulders eased and
his face relaxed, as a hint of a smile remained in his eyes. He didn't know
what happened to suddenly make him an outcast, but he knew from experience
Clark probably needed someone on his side right now, even if it was a teacher.
Their conversation never ventured into anything too deep—they kept the
questions polite and only skimmed the surface, but before long the barrier
between teacher and student began to fall away, and it was easy for Lex to
forget his position, and Clark to remember that Lex was really only 6 years his
senior. The first bell of the day came all too soon, and Clark was surprised to
find his plate empty and his mood lighter.
"You'd better hurry Clark, I know Professor Keller is hell on students who are
late."
Clark laughed a little. "Unfortunately I have first hand knowledge of that." He
grabbed his bag off the floor and swung onto his back, balancing his tray in
the other hand.
"So, Clark, tomorrow—we'll meet at six in my office. You can eat dinner before
if you like, but if you'll allow me, I'd like to provide dinner. I find it
breaks the ice if you share a meal. Hope Indian is Ok."
Clark looked slightly alarmed. "I don't want you to go through any trouble, I
can get food from the cafeteria."
"Clark, it's the least I can do. Your help is going to be invaluable to me, and
its not like I can pay you."
His cheeks colored a little and he fought not to smile. "I may be no help at
all, at least let me earn it before you start buying me dinner."
Lex just gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze. "I have no doubt you will. So
I'll see you at tomorrow." He walked over to join the other staff exiting the
dining hall.
Clark was still smiling to himself when Braden caught his eye. He looked at him
with wide eyes and mouthed "sorry" before running to catch up with the other
boys. He wanted to be angry, but his father always told him some people were
just stronger than others. He shook it off and hurried off to class.
===============================================================================
Apparently during classes where there was no sign of Jesse or Damon, Clark's
outcast status was lifted. He and Gareth shared a chem lab, and in the absence
of other crewmembers Gareth saw no reason to look for another lab partner.
Clark was grateful because the only other student with shuffling lab partners
barely maintained a D-average. The subject of his social demise was never
broached until finally Gareth said dismissively.
"Jesse is an asshole."
Clark just nodded and kept measuring.
"You can't take all that stuff personally. He was just getting jealous of you,
so it was only a matter of time before he found a reason to cast you out."
Clark tilted the green liquid into the blue and sighed a little. "Its ok
Gareth, I don't expect you to risk having a miserable year on my behalf. I know
Jesse is a jerk, so are most of those guys. And I didn't expect Braden to take
my side. I know how much he hates confrontation. I'll be fine." He smiled a
little, never taking his eyes away from the beaker. Braden's rejection hurt,
though he'd never admit it.
Gareth just shook his head. "I'm an asshole for putting up with it."
Clark shrugged. "People do what they can, don't beat yourself up over it."
Gareth just looked over at Clark, still concentrating on getting their
experiment perfect, and wondered how someone so decent landed at their school,
and what he'd done to deserve being there.
"Well, maybe we can study for that killer exam next week."
Clark glanced over his shoulder at him, about to tell him he didn't have to try
and make him feel better, but instead he just said "Sure", and continued
working.
===============================================================================
Being a social outcast wasn't as bad as he imagined. For the most part Jesse
and everyone left him alone throughout the day, except for the occasional
vicious looks, but they even gave that up when they could get no reaction out
of him. Now they were reduced to making snide comments amongst themselves that
he shouldn't be able to hear and therefore couldn't do anything about. All he
could do is ignore their laughter and focus on his schoolwork. By lunchtime
he'd grown tired of all of it and spent it in the library getting a head start
on his 'urban studies' paper. For dinner, he again bypassed the dining hall
completely, sneaking into town and getting a burger and fries at a local diner
to go, and taking it back to his room. Running at full-speed in a still
unfamiliar place was risky, but after skipping lunch, he was desperately
craving some nourishment.
The dinner hour had barely started, so the dorms were still pretty deserted and
eerily quiet. He finished his cheeseburger in three large bites and tried to
think of something to relieve the solitude before finishing up his fries. He'd
done all his homework and he'd read most of his textbooks ages ago. He thought
about going for a long walk, but picked up his dv camcorder instead, realizing
he hadn't send his parents a new message yet.
He didn't know what'd he say. After running to them so distraught he didn't
want to give them more reason to worry.
He put it on the bed beside him and kicked off his shoes, tugging on his tie
until it gave and fell to his feet. He flopped back on the bed, careful not to
upset the camera, and knew his mood wasn't nearly light enough to conjure up a
cheerful message. Maybe he should call Chloe, she always seemed to take him
mind off of everything with her endless chatter. It'd be at least ten minutes
into the conversation before she even realized something was wrong. Just has he
began to fish around in his pocket for his cell phone the door opened. Braden
walked in with a lot less bravado than he usually did, still avoiding direct
eye contact with him.
Not having the patience for pretense, he sat up on the bed and looked at
Braden.
"How come you're not at dinner?"
Braden dropped his bag on the bed, it was quite something to see Braden this
quiet. "I went, but I didn't hang around. They were being all…well you know."
Clark nodded. "Yeah I know."
Braden removed his jacket and tie, throwing them on the floor like he usually
did. "I swear Clark, maybe you got the better deal—you don't have to listen to
their bullshit. You should have heard Jesse and Damon going on about their
weekend. Such liars. And you have to hear what Jesse was saying about you! He
actually said you backed down the other day on the lawn because you were afraid
of him, can you believe that?! I swear you should kick his ass just because."
Clark smiled just a little, not being able to keep the terseness out of his
voice, though he knew Braden was trying in his own special way.
"I'm not kicking anyone's ass. I don't care about those two." He wanted to add.
"It only hurts when my friends reject me." But he just let it go.
Braden just nodded and finished removing the rest of his uniform. They sat on
their respective beds silently, neither knowing what to say. The tension
continued to grow and Clark contemplated that walk again.
"Clark?"
He looked up.
"I'm sorry, not about the stuff with Jesse..ok, I am sorry about that, but
about the other night."
Clark was a little taken aback that he'd mentioned 'the incident'. He'd been
trying not to think about it. All the questions it raised were too much on top
of anything else—he'd been hoping like his raging hard-ons, it would just go
away.
"You said it was no big deal…."
"I know, but you know grabbing some other guy's dick is usually a big deal, so
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, but you were sitting there and no one
else was around, you didn't stop me, so I just thought—anyway, I'm sorry."
Clark forced himself to meet his eyes, "Its Ok."
Braden just looked at him and raised his eyebrow.
"Ok, its not Ok, but I just…I mean I never had…no one had ever…" Clark could
feel his blush spread down to his toes and he really wanted this conversation
to be over with.
That impish grin appeared on Braden's face again, and Clark wanted to kick him.
"No one ever…you a virgin Clark?"
The way his eyes flew open in alarm, and his cheeks got even redder gave Braden
his answer and his grin widened.
"Wow.."
Clark was getting annoyed. "Wow?"
"Well a guy like you, I just thought maybe you were just missing someone and
your libido was out of whack...so…"
Then something occurred to Braden, and he stopped mid-sentence.
"Oh shit Clark, I'm sorry, I totally took advantage didn't I?"
"Just forget it."
"No, I'm sorry, really sorry."
Braden looked completely sincere, and Clark could already feel himself caving
in. He didn't answer him, but his expression softened and Braden took that as
forgiveness. He exhaled slowly and flopped back on the bed.
They returned to silently lounging on their beds, but the tension was gone.
Clark was watching the evening sky turn from a bright indigo to a deep purple
out his window and he wondered why this part of the day always left him feeling
a little sad.
"Clark?"
"Yeah?"
"I like you."
"I know."
"No, I mean.."
"I know Braden."
"But you..?"
"No, I don't think so."
"You sure?"
Clark thought for a moment. "No…well, pretty sure."
Braden sighed. "Ok, fair enough."
Clark stood up to finish changing his clothes, and stopped worrying about
whether Braden was watching him—he knew he was.
"Clark?"
"Yeah."
"Want to sneak off campus and get some pizza in town?"
His normal answer would be "No way." But normal didn't seem to apply to his
life anymore, so he said "sure", despite his belly still being full of
cheeseburger and fries.
Braden smiled and sprang off the bed, to start rummaging through his closet.
"Oh and no wearing plaid. You're not really a fucking farmer."
The only response he received was a balled up blue tee smacking him in the
head.
===============================================================================
The overwhelming smell of curry and ginger filled his nostrils as he walked the
deserted hall towards Professor Luthor's office, or 'Lex' as he'd be allowed to
call him outside of class. He hadn't had a decent Indian dinner since he and
his parents were in London last year, and he'd gorged himself on garlic naan
and chicken korma.
Things seemed a lot brighter that day, and his mood wasn't as dark. He accepted
Braden's shortcomings and knew he wasn't bold enough to turn his back on his
friends, no matter how wrong they behaved and join Clark in his lonely plight.
It did still bother him a little, but at least they'd be friends once they were
back in their rooms, and now that he thought about it, not having to listen to
the inane conversations at every meal wasn't exactly a bad thing.
They'd had fun going to get pizza, and getting off campus had be surprisingly
easy since Braden knew of a space in the gate that was missing a few bars at
the edge of the woods. He kept his car parked a couple of blocks from the main
gates of school, apparently for a quick getaway. It was refreshing to hang out
with Braden away from all the social drama at school. They were both a lot more
relaxed and Braden was in rare form, having everyone within earsohot of them
laughing or scowling. Clark had to admit he liked the reflected attention.
That morning they went their separate ways, with Clark choosing to reclaim his
place in the dining hall and sitting with another group of boys that seemed to
have no interest in Damon and his gang. It was weird at first to pretend Braden
didn't exist, but once he started talking to the other boys, he was quickly
forgotten. So his first meeting with Professor Luthor was a perfect ending to
one of the first good days he'd had in a while.
The door was slightly ajar, but he knocked anyway out of politeness.
He heard a muffled "come in", and walked in. Lex was holding a white bag
between his teeth and holding white styrofoam containers in each hand. He
dropped the bag in his mouth on the table, placed the containers, down and
smiled brightly at Clark, waving him in.
"Hope you like naan, I got lots of it."
"Love it." He dropped his bag on a chair and waited as Lex opened all the
containers, explaining each dish.
"…and Chicken tiki marsala, my favorite so you'll have to fight me for it…lamb
vindaloo, chicken korma, vegetable biryani, and some onion bhaji if you're
game."
Clark walked over and immediately grabbed a piece of garlic naan, and sniffed
at the chicken korma. Lex laughed. "I'll get us some plates."
It was really strange seeing Lex dressed down. He wore a simple gray sweater,
dark pants and what Clark recognized as Prada sneakers. He glanced down at his
own attire of jeans, dark blue sweater, and worn Nikes, and wondered if Lex
even owned any jeans, or maybe wearing jeans was inappropriate since this was
kind of a job. He thought about zipping back to his dorm and changing before
Lex returned with the plates, but then explaining a change of clothes would be
impossible. Clark really wished he didn't think so much.
"Have a seat. We'll eat while we work if that's ok. Did you read over the
outline I gave you?"
Clark spooned out some Chicken marsala and lamb vindaloo, trying to forget
about a possible dress code. "It's been so long since I've had good Indian
food…and yes, I read it over. I like that you don't jump in with business
jargon right away, and talk about how your business should be a reflection of
your life and lifestyle. I really like that idea."
Lex smiled. "You should, I'm sure its pretty much how you were raised."
Clark had never really thought about it in those terms before. The business was
so ingrained into their daily lives, he almost didn't think of it as being a
separate entity. As a kid he'd spent just as much time hanging around the
office, which was really his father's family farm, as he did their own home.
They'd always been interchangeable to him. And the food on their table always
came directly from the working farm or plant. Even family vacations they took
were always a way for his parents to increase their knowledge somehow.
"Do you mind if I show my parents what we're working on? Nothing major, just
some notes or something. I know my Dad would really love what you're doing."
Lex tried to keep his enthusiasm in check—he'd been hoping working with Clark
would lead to some input from his family. "I'd be honored if you showed your
parents. I know I've said this too many times before, but I really admire what
they've built."
Clark beamed and grabbed his third piece of naan, making Lex laugh a little.
"Cool, and I'm sure my Dad might have some additional insight, if that's ok."
"Perfect. And Clark, do you think you could leave some food for me?"
Clark looked alarmed and quickly put back the piece of naan. Lex didn't bother
to hold back and he burst out laughing at the blush spreading fast on Clark's
cheeks.
"I'm sorry Clark, I was just kidding. Eat as much as you want, I know you poor
guys have to suffer the cafeteria food and its limited cuisine everyday. I have
more."
Clark narrowed his eyes, and bit back a pout, making Lex remember suddenly why
he'd been worried about working alone with Clark. Then he grinned
mischievously.
"In that case…." Clark reached across the table and grabbed the last of the
chicken tiki, and they both started laughing.
Once the various curries were exhausted they focused on working. Clark was
surprised he understood more about business than he realized and was relieved
he could actually help Lex. Before they knew it, it was ten minutes before
curfew.
"Shit! Sorry, you didn't hear that Clark. You only have ten minutes before they
lock the dorms, you'd better run."
He couldn't believe it was almost nine already. "Its ok, they never lock up
right at nine, I'll be fine walking back."
"You sure?"
He nodded. "Thanks again for dinner, this hardly seems like work at all. I
swear it's the first time in my life I actually thought business was
interesting."
"That's quite the compliment, thank you."
Clark threw his notebook and laptop into his bag. "I should help you clean up."
Lex walked over to him and steered him towards the door. "No, I got it, besides
I'll get in trouble if I keep you out after curfew."
He kept gave his shoulder an affectionate squeeze. "You were a great help
Clark, I'll see you in class, and back here Tuesday, ok?"
Clark nodded, smiling brightly, and Lex kept his hand on his shoulder long
enough for Clark's smile to falter a little. Alarmed, Lex was careful not to
jerk his hand away, but removed it casually with a small slap on the back.
The smooth rhythm of the evening was off now and Lex could have kicked himself.
Clark hitched his bag higher on his shoulder and nodded with a small smile.
"Thanks again, Lex. I had a great time. I'd better run."
Lex said his goodbyes and shut the door behind him. He packed up the empty
containers, throwing them into the bin as hard as he could, kicking the trash
can in frustration. Maybe he was overreacting. All he did was touch his
shoulder, and his arm a little, that's not such a huge deal. He'd just been
taken off guard by the firmness of his arm, and the obvious muscles beneath the
sweater. Clark was a very tall, but somewhat lanky kid, always swathed in a
school blazer, so the firm body underneath was a surprise. That was still no
excuse—if he was going to continue working with Clark, he'd need to get his
impulses under control. Lex sighed and picked up the upturned trashcan, knowing
he was in for a long restless night.
===============================================================================
Clark sprinted across the lawn at normal speed, wanting a moment to shake the
odd feeling he had as he was leaving Lex's office. He knew the last week had
just made him a little hypersensitive, and he must have imagined the way Lex
looked at him. Why would he look at him the same way Braden did? It was
completely absurd. By the time he walked into his room, he was almost laughing
at how ridiculous the whole idea was.
***** Chapter 7 *****
A small red oval shape flew past Clark's head and landed beside him on the bed.
He was stretched out with feet propped against the headboard trying to ignore
the flying orb and pushed it away from him. Three more landed in the middle of
his open schoolbook, this time followed by a small chuckle. Clark ignored the
laughter and picked up all four peanut M&Ms and popped them in his mouth.
"Stop it Braden."
He heard the bed groan as Braden leaped off of it and stood over him.
"Its Sunday afternoon Clark, why are you studying?"
Clark reached his hand out for more M&Ms without looking up and Braden emptied
the rest of the bag into his outstretched hand.
"Because we have these things called midterms coming up pretty soon."
"So?"
Clark just shook his head; he knew how dangerous Braden could be when he was
bored. "So…I'm studying, and if you had any sense at all you'd be too."
"Like you need to study anyway."
Clark felt the familiar panic rise his chest as he quickly ran through his head
every time he'd studied in front of Braden, trying to make sure he hadn't turn
the pages too quickly or wrote answers down too fast.
He kept his voice deliberately calm and shoved the handful of candy into his
mouth. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Braden sat next to him, pushing him over to give himself room. "Meaning, His
Lord Baldness wouldn't dare fail you."
Clark looked up puzzled. "This isn't for Professor Luthor's class, and why
wouldn't he fail me."
"You're so clueless sometimes."
Clark closed his book and sat up with his back against the window. The
torrential rainstorm was still coming down and grey skies always put Clark in a
melancholy state and he definitely wasn't in the mood for one of Braden's
infamous gossip sessions.
He sighed. "How am I clueless?"
"Baldy likes you."
"Stop calling him baldy, and he likes most of the students."
Braden grinned. "Yeah, but he likes you best."
He had an idea where Braden was going with this— he'd been hinting at it since
he started working with Lex. They were only supposed to work two evenings a
week but Clark enjoyed their time together so much and everything he was
learning that he always volunteered extra time. Braden had been acting weird
about it, almost resentful and he couldn't pin point exactly why—was it
jealousy?
"No he doesn't, I'm just his research assistant."
Braden climbed over Clark and sat against his headboard. "Believe what you
want, but he thinks you're pretty. I've heard things about his lifestyle before
he came here, so I'd watch my back if I were you, and I mean that literally."
Clark was getting angry, "Shut up Braden."
"Hey I'm just trying to warn you. My brother used to see him around Metropolis,
and lets just say…."
"I don't want to hear it Ok? Lex is a good guy and I don't care what he did in
Metropolis, besides its funny that you're the one trying to warn me."
He knew that would make Braden leave him alone, and it worked. Braden hopped
off his bed obviously pissed. "You sure know how to hold a grudge Kent."
"I'm not, I'm just saying I don't care, like I don't care what you do—we're
friends."
Braden didn't answer him, and he knew what he was thinking. Lately he'd been
wrestling with the idea that he may actually be gay. He'd say random things at
odd times, and Clark tried to reassure him, though he didn't know what to
say—aside from that, for all he knew he could be in the same boat soon. All he
could do was draw on his own experience of being different from everyone else.
At least, he thought, Braden wouldn't have to hide forever.
Braden glared at him from across the room, "If you don't care, then why keep
bringing it up?"
Clark returned the glare. "Its not my job to make you feel better about what
happened."
He picked up his book and started reading, hoping the conversation was over.
Any talk of Lex's sexual preference seemed to be a hot button for him. Its not
like he cared, he really didn't, but he couldn't help remembering the first
research session they had and the way he looked at him. Since then there seemed
to be some invisible physical barrier around Clark that Lex wouldn't cross. Too
many times he'd heard Lex's chair scrape across the old wood when he'd leaned
in to close to look at something he'd written. Maybe he was just afraid Clark
would get the wrong idea, or maybe he was just thinking too much as always.
"Braden?"
"What."
"I'm sorry, you want to…." He glanced out the window, the rain was turning to
hail; there was no way they were going outside. "…watch me beat you at Tekken?"
Braden had stashed a Playstation and TV in the back of their closet hidden
inside a plain brown box marked "clothes", Clark didn't know how he passed
weekly room inspection. He waited for Braden to take the bait, knowing he'd
rarely pass up an opportunity to go one-on-one with him in any game. Finally a
smile cracked that thin icy façade he wore and he was on his feet digging in
the closet to pull out the console.
Clark joined him on the floor as he set up the game; grateful that Braden's
moods were as fleeting as an evening breeze.
"Now prepare to have your ass kicked Kent."
Clark smiled and picked up his controller. Braden had this habit of sitting a
little too close to him when they played, but Clark didn't mind—it felt
comfortable, like they were old friends, and he missed having that.
===============================================================================
They awoke the next morning to a ground covered in snowy ice, the result of a
relentless hailstorm mix with snow that pounded the windows well into the
night. Already boys were grabbing handfuls of the icy mess and tossing it at
unsuspecting heads, and Clark had to dodge a few on his way to class. The
excitement of the coming holiday season was tangible all around them with
everyone discussing too loudly their elaborate plans for winter break. Clark
was especially excited because his parents arranged a full week of skiing for
him and his closest friends, Chloe and Pete, over the New Years holiday in
Colorado. They'd all be sharing a chalet, but his parents promised not to
interfere too much as long as they behaved. He was going to surprise them both
with the news at Christmas, though his parents had already gotten permission
from their parents.
As he trudged along to his first class, the stress of earlier in the year
seemed like a distant memory. The crew continued to be an annoyance, but they
kept their distance unless Jesse was feeling extra brave and wanted to impress
Damon, then he'd taunt Clark at a safe distance—Clark usually ignored him. With
everyone starting their independent studies he and Kennedy ended up sharing a
study period. Clark discovered Kennedy was just indifferent about everything;
it was just his way, and if Clark was in earshot he didn't mind talking to him.
Gareth was slowly becoming friendlier during school hours, but Braden continued
to ignore him, though they behaved like best friends in the privacy of their
room. Clark didn't care—Braden was Braden and there was nothing to be done
about it.
He quickened his pace, hoping to make it to economics before the other
students. He'd discussed a few things with his parents on the phone last night
and wanted to mention it to Lex and he didn't feel like waiting until they met
later that evening. Plus they were getting their pre-midterm test back—the test
was one third of their grade. Lex said the school's faculty controlled the
midterms, but this test was directly from him and he held it in higher regard.
Clark studied for two weeks straight for the test, and Lex refused to even
mention in their sessions together to keep things fair. He'd maintained a
straight-A average since he started school, but even he admitted Lex's test was
incredibly challenging, so he was anxious to see how he did.
The bell rang before Clark arrived at the door, and people were already heading
in—he'd have to remember to get his watch fixed. Everyone's pace was noticeably
slower as they filed into class. Lex stood at the head looking a little annoyed
with a stack of papers in his hands.
"Sit quickly, I know most of you want to get this over with."
There was a rumbling of audible groans as everyone took their seats. Lex
started down the aisle handing out papers as he went. Very few faces looked
happy.
"I have to say I was disappointed with the results as a whole. Only one person
managed to get an A, and that was Clark Kent."
Lex punctuated his remark by placing Clark's perfectly scored paper on his
desk. There were a few grumblings and snickers and Clark could feel his cheeks
burning.
Jesse was the most vocal, saying just loud enough for him to hear "Big shock
Luthor's little pet boy got an A"
Unfortunately for Jesse, Lex heard too. "What was that Jesse?"
He mumbled, "Nothing." But Lex continued.
"Maybe if you worry less about Clark and more about actually studying you'd get
better grades—yours was probably the most abysmal in the class."
There was a small outburst of laughter, and Lex knew he had gone too far. It
was completely unprofessional to embarrass a student like that. How personally
he took any negative remarks towards Clark was beginning to show and he needed
to be careful. The look on Clark's face told him he should have kept his mouth
shut—he was the only one aside from Jesse not laughing.
Clark wished suddenly that all classrooms came with trap doors, or at the very
least a black hole. He had no idea why Lex decided to challenge Jesse on his
behalf, but no good could come of it. He was quiet throughout the rest of
class, and thankfully Lex didn't call on him once. He walked out of class as
soon as the bell sounded without a glance in Lex's direction. He'd had enough
attention for one day, though everyone had probably forgotten about it by
now—except for Jesse. The murderous look Jesse shot him after Lex called him
out said it all. Clark knew his peaceful existence at Excelsior was about to
change.
===============================================================================
The skies continued to darken and Clark began to wonder if he was somehow
connected with the earth, since it always seemed to mirror his mood. He felt
completely distracted throughout the day and he was reprimanded twice for not
paying attention in class, much to the delight of Jesse and Damon who shared
his European history class. He wondered how delighted they'd be if he punched
them both in the face. The anger he felt shocked him, but he was just sick of
them and sick of everything.
By the time lunch period arrived he contemplated skipping his afternoon classes
altogether, but Excelsior gave a stiff penalty to anyone who skipped a class.
He wondered if he could alter his body temperature enough to fake a fever. He
was just about to test the theory when a large ball of ice soared past him,
missing his nose by inches. He looked up just in time for another iceball to
land squarely in his face, followed by the very loud laughing and howling of
Jesse and Damon. Without thinking Clark reached down and picked up a large
mound of ice and formed into a ball quicker than anyone could see and in a
blind rage through it directly at Jesse. He knew he was probably the only one
who heard the crack when the ice made contact with Jesse's nose, but he was
sure people in China could hear Jesse's outraged screaming. The sound of Jesse
calling Clark every name he could conjure while blood streamed down his face,
brought faculty running out from every direction.
Professor Cheever reached Jesse first, pulling him to his feet and grabbing his
own handkerchief to try and stop the bleeding. Clark stood there rooted on the
spot, watching everything in front of him like it was some slow moving
nightmare. Jesse wasted no time fingering him as the culprit, and Clark was
summoned over by another professor immediately. But he couldn't seem to move.
"Kent! Get over here now!"
Reality rushed back in and Clark took his first tentative step towards the
mayhem. Damon was excitedly telling the story of how Clark maliciously hurt
Jesse without provocation. That wasn't exactly true, but with Clark's own
unblemished face and Jesse's now covered in blood, he didn't think anyone would
believe him.
The Professor leveled at him a look that made him feel like he was the vilest
person to ever walk the earth.
"While they take Jesse to the hospital, you are going with me to the Dean's
office right now. He'll be calling your parents—as you know injuring another
student is grounds for immediate expulsion, you'd better pray the Dean is
feeling generous today."
Clark followed the professor silently while a million things ran through is
head—all them making his stomach lurch. If he could actually get sick without
the aid of meteor rock, he was sure the contents of his breakfast would be all
over the ground. His parents would be livid, he knew it, and worse than that,
they'd be incredibly disappointed, something he couldn't bear. How had life
changed so quickly in under thirty seconds? When they reached the
administration building his feet suddenly felt leaden. He stared at the small
flight of marble stairs like they were an open molten pit that led directly to
hell below. No one could possibly expect him to move with that looming ahead.
"Hurry up Mr. Kent, don't keep the Dean waiting on top of everything else."
Clark wondered how he could keep the Dean waiting if he didn't even know they
were coming, but he thought it best to keep that to himself. He followed the
professor hoping he made it to the door.
The Dean's suite was just as he pictured it—all mahogany and oppression with
the least amount of light possible. He felt for his secretary who was shrouded
in darkness except for the small tiffany lamp at her imposing desk. She looked
a little puzzled to see them, and the Professor pointed Clark towards a stiff
leather chair in the corner while he explained. He watched the change of
expression as the Professor relayed the story, and she darted a look in his
direction that was full of dismay while she quickly got up from her desk and
headed towards the Dean's office. Clark slumped down in the chair, knowing the
worse was still to come.
The professor went in first, indicating for Clark to stay where he was. They
were in there a long time, and the waiting was slowly torturing him. Finally
the Professor came out and held the door open for Clark silently—this couldn't
be good.
"Have a seat Mr. Kent."
Clark looked like a deer caught in headlights and he felt all the color drain
from his face. He sat in the small chair opposite the Dean and waited.
"Professor Miller has explained what happened from what he could tell, and we
got a call from Professor Luthor who apparently saw the entire incident from
his window. He vouched for you and relayed that it was the other boys who threw
a snowball at you first, and you were merely retaliating. But unfortunately for
you, you've caused serious injury to a fellow student. Why I don't doubt it was
an accident, the fact that all of you have been repeatedly told about the
dangers of engaging in such activity leaves me little choice but to seek some
disciplinary action."
Clark just stared at the tall stained glass windows framing the Dean's head,
the red fractured light making him look eerily like a monster from a child's
nightmare.
"I've spoken with your parents, and told them you are to leave campus this
evening if possible. They're flying here on the next available flight. Until
they arrive, you are to stay here, outside my office, and then you can go with
your parents to get some things. I'm suspending you for five days pending an
expulsion hearing. Given your history with the school, and exemplary track
record, expulsion isn't likely. My feeling is you got caught in a bad situation
and maybe next time you'll think twice before acting out of anger. You can go,
just wait outside and my secretary will show you to another room where you'll
be more comfortable for the next few hours."
Clark rose from the chair, anxious to get out of that room.
"Thank you sir."
The Dean looked at him sympathetically for the first time. "Thank Professor
Luthor—he really went to bat for you."
Clark nodded and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. The thought
of what his parents would say, especially his father who'd drilled into him
since he was old enough to understand what they were saying, the importance of
being extra careful with everyone, of not letting his anger get the better of
him, made a lump form in his throat. But he wasn't going to sit there and cry
like some five year old. He'd made this incredible mess and he'd just have to
deal with it without giving into self-pity.
After sitting silently in the corner for a few minutes, he asked the secretary
if he could go to the bathroom, and she gave him a key to the in suite bath.
Once inside he splashed cold water on his face so he wouldn't have to see the
tears he knew were coming. So much for being brave.
***** Chapter 8 *****
The room they ushered him in to wait for his parents to arrive, looked like
some sort of conference room that was trying very hard not to resemble one. The
oppressive mahogany theme carried over and the walls were lined with rows and
rows of books, most of them classic novels and books on the history of the area
and the school. Clark sat in the only overstuffed chair next to the window and
tried to read, but it was like the paintings of head masters past aligning the
far walls were all looking at him in disgust.
How could he have let things go so far? Obviously the constant chiding from
Jesse bothered him a lot more than he realized, and he shouldn't have let it go
on so long without saying anything. Now Jesse had a legitimate reason to be
hostile towards him, and he had reason to feel guilty. But it wasn't Jesse he
was worried about at the moment even though he felt incredibly horrible about
what he did—he also knew it could have been so much worse and lucky for him,
his natural reflex—born of so many years of being careful—was to hold back.
He pulled a book off the shelf hoping reading would stop him from thinking
about his parent's arrival. He fingered the cell phone in his pocket. It was
probably telling that neither of his parents had attempted to call him yet, or
maybe they didn't want him breaking anymore rules—you weren't allowed to use
your cell outside of the dorms. He placed the book back on the shelf, since it
was hopeless, and just slumped down further in the chair and watched the sun
move across the sky. By the time it finally descended his fate would be
decided.
===============================================================================
Sometimes x-ray vision came in handy. Clark woke with a start when he heard his
parent's voices in the other room. Somewhere into hour four of sitting in the
same spot not moving, he'd fallen asleep for lack of anything better to do. He
couldn't decide if he could trust the tone of their voices, so he decided to
peak through the walls to see their faces. It was not good—his father had that
stern immovable look to his face, and his mother's brow was creased with worry
and disappointment—well, at least he'd be prepared. He was standing very still
next to the chair when the Dean opened the door allowing his parents to enter
before him.
"I thought it'd be better if we talked in here, there's not really enough
seating in my office."
He stood there unsure if he should hug them or not, maybe they were too angry
with him, but despite being scared he was glad to see them. The Dean ushered
his parents over to the table silently and pulled out chairs—the tension in the
room was overwhelming. For the first time he really didn't know how to behave
around them.
"Take a seat Clark." The Dean finally broke the silence. He looked at his Dad,
who was definitely wearing his 'stern dad face'.
"Dad? I…"
"Sit down Clark."
"I'm sorry we're meeting under such unpleasant circumstances, and I know you
two are very busy so I appreciate you taking time to meet with me. Clark, as
you know, has been an exemplary student, and judging by his records this has
always been the case. So I find the incident a little troubling. The boys
involved are often a disciplinary problem so I can imagine Clark found himself
goaded into retaliating, which is why I've decided not to expel him. I still
however, must treat the matter very seriously."
His father glanced sideways at him and Clark lowered his eyes to the table. He
had no desire to feel worse than he already did. As if sensing this, his father
reached over and gave his hand a firm squeeze while they continued to listen to
the Dean.
"Sorry to interrupt, but we'd actually like to hear what happened from Clark."
Clark looked over at his mother and she smiled only slightly. She'd noticed the
Dean had just been handing down edicts without once glancing in Clark's
direction, and she knew her son—she knew Clark felt like a tiny speck engulfed
by his own guilt.
"Yes of course Mrs. Kent. But Professor Miller and Professor Luthor both
concurred that it wasn't unprovoked."
"Still, I think he deserves a chance to speak on his own behalf. Go on Clark."
He was perfectly fine not saying anything, he mostly just wanted this to end
quickly, and he couldn't be sure he'd shown full constraint when attacking
Jesse.
"Thanks Mom…I, well I was walking from class, and I saw something fly past my
head, and when I looked up to see what it was, a snow ball hit me in the face.
Jesse was standing by the science building laughing with Damon and some other
boys holding another snow ball in his hand. I wasn't thinking I swear, I was
just so angry and I just picked up a snow ball and threw it at him. I didn't
mean to throw it so hard, I wasn't aiming at his face, I wasn't really thinking
at all. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen, and I feel
horrible I broke his nose. I really am sorry."
His father reached over and gave his shoulder and strong squeeze and whispered
"Its ok Clark." He didn't realize he was shaking a little.
The Dean gave Clark a genuine smile. "I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone
Clark, but it's a hard lesson we all have to learn—actions have consequences,
especially ones made from haste and anger. You'll have five days to think about
that."
His mother frowned. "You're suspending him for five days then? And what
disciplinary actions are being taken against the other boy?"
The Dean looked puzzled. "While Jesse was certainly in the wrong, we all agree
that a broken nose is punishment enough."
His mother's eyes narrowed. "And what will be done to protect Clark from any
retaliation?"
"Any further action from any boys will be dealt with I promise you. Now I need
Clark to leave the campus following this meeting—it's just school policy. He
can return to school a week from today."
"I thought you said just five days."
"Yes, but that's five school days. Today is Wed, so he'll be returning to class
next Thursday." The Dean stood up indicating the meeting was over.
"You can go with Clark to his dorm to pack some things, and again, I appreciate
you coming on such short notice. You have no idea how hard it is sometimes to
track parents down."
They rose and the Dean gave Clark a small smile as he walked past him. The
experience wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. It was quick and he didn't
have to say too much, but as he walked beside his parents back to his dorm, he
knew the hard part hadn't even started yet.
 
===============================================================================
 
Back at the dorms, they were all business. His mother immediately took his
suitcase out of the closet and began packing his street clothes asking which
ones were dirty or clean, shaking her head at not being able to tell the
difference. His father just looked around his tiny room—it was their first time
seeing it. By the time he'd gathered his books and laptop, his father had
declared his room "no worse than his dorm in college," and sat down the bed
next to him as his mother finished packing.
"Where are we going?"
"We were in Portland when the Dean phoned—in the middle of an important meeting
actually. I can only hope they'll allow us to reschedule."
Clark felt his chest sink. "I'm really sorry Dad."
His father stood up and paced. "Clark I don't know what to do here. I know
you're not entirely to blame for this, but unfortunately you can't let your
emotions get the best of you like other boys, the consequences are too dire.
You could have seriously hurt him Clark, a lot more seriously than you did."
"Don't you think I know that?"
"I wish I could trust that, I really do."
Clark was getting frustrated now and got to his feet. "You don't know how hard
its been just keeping my mouth shut and trying to stay out of trouble. I could
have hurt him worse Dad, I know that, but I didn't, I held back, even when I
got angry, I held back. I always do, I have to."
"Clark you shouldn't have thrown it in the first place you know that. Guys like
Jesse just push your buttons, trying to make you lose your temper. You can't
let him Clark, you can't afford to. I know it's not fair, but your gifts come
with more responsibility and there's just no way to change that."
"They don't feel like gifts."
His mother closed his suitcase and sat on the bed, pulling him to sit beside
her.
"I'm sure they don't feel like gifts right now, but any part of you is a gift,
and now is not the time to start feeling sorry for yourself. I know this is
hard and frustrating, but I'm sorry Clark, life sometimes is. I wish we could
make this better for you and tell you its all Ok. It will be eventually, but
you still did something wrong and there has to be consequences. Your father and
I talked about it, and we've decided to cancel the ski trip."
Clark jumped up. "What? But that's just punishing Chloe and Pete too, they
didn't do anything!"
His father put a firm hand on his shoulder, "Lower your voice Clark, and Pete
and Chloe didn't know about the trip yet, so they won't be missing anything.
We'd love for you to have that time with your friends, but you're just going to
have to spend time with them in boring old Smallville."
His looked towards his mother for help. "I'm sorry honey, but our decision is
final."
Could things get any worse? He was certain they could, but he didn't think
tempting fate right now was a good idea. He fell silent and walked over and
picked up his suitcase. He was so angry he couldn't find his voice. His mother
was right, self-pity wasn't the answer right now, but it sure felt like the
answer. He walked towards the door, saying he would wait by the car, but his
parents just followed him down. Eventually they each put an arm around his
shoulder, and though he wanted to shrug them off, a small part of him was
grateful for the comfort.
===============================================================================
Lex watched Clark walk across the campus with his parents. He was a little
surprised they each had an arm around him; he'd have thought they'd be angrier
with him. But he had a feeling Clark's parents rarely stayed mad at him for
long. Clark did look very upset though, even from his vantage point. He was
sure now he'd made the right decision calling the Dean on Clark's behalf. He'd
gone to his window when heard the commotion and saw Jesse's nose streaming with
blood and a very angry Professor Miller yelling at Clark. He found out what
happened from another student and various bits he could make out from Jesse's
angry friends. He didn't have to see it to know Jesse caused the incident, and
Clark was just protecting himself. Jesse was a prick and a bully and as far as
Lex was concerned he'd gotten exactly what he deserved.
True, he shouldn't have displayed his distaste of Jesse so openly and he was
certain that incident it what spurned the rest of the days events, and for he
was truly sorry. Clark always tried to stay under the radar he noticed and now
he was the talk of the school. Lex often wondered how someone so tall and so
striking thought they could walk around unnoticed, but he doubted Clark had any
idea the impression he made. The whole thing was proving to be a real problem
for Lex. He both dreaded and eagerly anticipated their work together. Each time
as they became more and more relaxed with each other, it just made things that
much harder. He'd hoped once he got to know him some of the mystique would be
gone and that shiny perfect veneer he wore would become tarnished. But the more
he learned about Clark the more he liked him.
He had an easy smile and an easy laugh, and a dry sense of humor if he was in
the right mood. He talked about Smallville and his parents often, so much so,
Lex was sure he'd recognize his best friends Chloe or Pete or even the girl
he'd mentioned once or twice that he once had a crush on. Lex was intrigued by
this confirmation of this heterosexuality, and pressed the issue just the bit
under the guise of teasing. But all Clark did was smile a little and shrug
saying, "reality is never quite the same as the fantasy if you know what I
mean, besides I don't think about her much anymore, and being away from
Smallville has made me realize a few things"
Lex wondered if this girl had been his first, and the experience had been
disappointing, and when he asked, Clark blushed ferociously.
"Oh! No, no…she wasn't my first, I mean I haven't…no, she definitely wasn't my
first."
Lex smiled. "So there were others before her?"
Clark put his head down and looked up through his lashes—Lex really wished he
wouldn't do that.
"There haven't been any", he said quietly.
Lex bit his lip hard and commanded his body to behave. Of course he'd be a
virgin.
When he trusted himself to speak, he tried to make Clark feel at ease. "You're
only sixteen Clark, that's certainly nothing to be embarrassed about."
Clark looked up and smirked a little. "I know, I mean I'm not embarrassed. I'm
in no hurry. I'd rather be in love first—corny huh?"
Lex placed a hand affectionately on his head, then gave it a shove before the
moment became too intimate. "Not corny at all, completely fitting with all
things Clark Kent—now enough sex talk, we only a half hour left before you have
to leave."
They'd gone back to working easy enough, but Lex thoughts would not behave.
There was no doubt he should not be thinking such things about a young student
who was fast becoming one his best friends.
Now as he watched Clark climb into the backseat of his parent's rental car, he
was grateful for the welcome reprieve and hoped by the time Clark returned he'd
have his thoughts and actions under control.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Lex watched Clark walk across the campus with his parents. He was a little
surprised they each had an arm around him; he'd have thought they'd be angrier
with him. But he had a feeling Clark's parents rarely stayed mad at him for
long. Clark did look very upset though, even from his vantage point. He was
sure now he'd made the right decision calling the Dean on Clark's behalf. He'd
gone to his window when heard the commotion and saw Jesse's nose streaming with
blood and a very angry Professor Miller yelling at Clark. He found out what
happened from another student and various bits he could make out from Jesse's
angry friends. He didn't have to see it to know Jesse caused the incident, and
Clark was just protecting himself. Jesse was a prick and a bully and as far as
Lex was concerned he'd gotten exactly what he deserved.
True, he shouldn't have displayed his distaste of Jesse so openly and he was
certain that incident it what spurned the rest of the days events, and for he
was truly sorry. Clark always tried to stay under the radar he noticed and now
he was the talk of the school. Lex often wondered how someone so tall and so
striking thought they could walk around unnoticed, but he doubted Clark had any
idea the impression he made. The whole thing was proving to be a real problem
for Lex. He both dreaded and eagerly anticipated their work together. Each time
as they became more and more relaxed with each other, it just made things that
much harder. He'd hoped once he got to know him some of the mystique would be
gone and that shiny perfect veneer he wore would become tarnished. But the more
he learned about Clark the more he liked him.
He had an easy smile and an easy laugh, and a dry sense of humor if he was in
the right mood. He talked about Smallville and his parents often, so much so,
Lex was sure he'd recognize his best friends Chloe or Pete or even the girl
he'd mentioned once or twice that he once had a crush on. Lex was intrigued by
this confirmation of this heterosexuality, and pressed the issue just the bit
under the guise of teasing. But all Clark did was smile a little and shrug
saying, "reality is never quite the same as the fantasy if you know what I
mean, besides I don't think about her much anymore, and being away from
Smallville has made me realize a few things"
Lex wondered if this girl had been his first, and the experience had been
disappointing, and when he asked, Clark blushed ferociously.
"Oh! No, no…she wasn't my first, I mean I haven't…no, she definitely wasn't my
first."
Lex smiled. "So there were others before her?"
Clark put his head down and looked up through his lashes—Lex really wished he
wouldn't do that.
"There haven't been any", he said quietly.
Lex bit his lip hard and commanded his body to behave. Of course he'd be a
virgin.
When he trusted himself to speak, he tried to make Clark feel at ease. "You're
only sixteen Clark, that's certainly nothing to be embarrassed about."
Clark looked up and smirked a little. "I know, I mean I'm not embarrassed. I'm
in no hurry. I'd rather be in love first—corny huh?"
Lex placed a hand affectionately on his head, then gave it a shove before the
moment became too intimate. "Not corny at all, completely fitting with all
things Clark Kent—now enough sex talk, we only a half hour left before you have
to leave."
They'd gone back to working easy enough, but Lex thoughts would not behave.
There was no doubt he should not be thinking such things about a young student
who was fast becoming one his best friends.
Now as he watched Clark climb into the backseat of his parent's rental car, he
was grateful for the welcome reprieve and hoped by the time Clark returned he'd
have his thoughts and actions under control.
===============================================================================
Clark had always been a good kid—he could probably count on one hand how many
times he'd seriously been in trouble in his life, so having both his parents so
visibly angry at him was unnerving. His mother would be the first to give in,
while his Dad would remain stoic at least until lunch time the next day. They
both decided not to stay in Metropolis and the three of them boarded a plane
back to Portland that night. 
He was given his own room with strict orders that he was not to leave the hotel
unless accompanied by one of them. He hated being cooped up all day, but he
imagined there were worst places to spend your punishment than in a 5-star
suite in the middle of a gorgeous place like Portland. Besides, if he decided
to step out to the coffee place up the street while his parents were in
meetings, he didn't see what harm could come of it. Clark leaned back in the
overstuffed chair, balancing his laptop on one knee while downing the last of
his latte. Braden had been sending him emails whenever he'd gotten a free
moment it seemed; most of them were no more than a sentence or two, and pretty
damn cryptic even by Braden standards. The last one left him scratching his
head:
The teams are dividing Kent, I think in your favor.
-Out, Braden.
He replied with a simple. "Huh?" and hit send.
He'd gotten one email from Lex, or Professor Luthor, depending on how familiar
he was feeling that day. It made him feel good that at least someone of
importance was on his side.
Clark,
Sorry I couldn't see you before you left. But I just wanted you to know that
everything is fine. We've all gone to bat for you and looks like you won't be
getting out of mid-terms quite that easily. See you soon.
L.
For some reason he was reluctant to tell his parents Lex had emailed him. He
wasn't sure what they'd think of Lex sending him a personal email-not that he
thought it was inappropriate, but he didn't think now was a good time to test
the theory. Regardless, the email made him smile. If it wasn't for his work
with Professor Luthor, he wasn't sure he'd even want to return to school,
though he would miss Braden. There was something infectious about his insane
roommate that even when he felt like killing him he could still find a way to
forgive him. Considering what happened between them, that was no easy task. He
wanted the whole incident to stay deep in the recesses of his brain, but every
morning when he woke with a raging hard on, or felt a familiar warmth in his
belly whenever he heard Braden moaning softly and the covers shifting in the
middle of the night, his mind immediately traveled back to that night by the
lake. He'd tried to rationalize it over and over, but when it came down to it,
Braden had aroused him and he enjoyed it. So what did that mean exactly? Did
boys get aroused by other boys and still like girls?
He desperately wanted to talk to someone about it, anything to ease his mind a
bit, but something told him his father would only be uncomfortable with the
whole conversation. Maybe Lex? He sighed-yeah, exactly how would that
conversation begin? "Excuse me, Professor, but I think I might be gay, could I
run a few scenarios by you to see if I am or not?" Clark crumpled his empty
latte cup in his hand and pitched it out the open balcony door, and shut his
laptop in frustration. He glanced at his watch-his parents would return soon
and then they'd all go out to dinner, and Clark would pretend that he was
incredibly relieved to be out of his room for the first time all day.
 
===============================================================================
 
Dinner was amazing, and the conversation was so easy and light it seemed like
all was forgiven and they were slowly getting back to normal, until just before
entering his room his father not so politely reminded him to go straight to
bed, and he'd still be confined to his room the next day. Without thinking he
shot his father a dirty look that he hoped would go unnoticed-of course not.
His father motioned for his mother to keep going, and she smiled slightly and
shook her head at Clark and disappeared into their suite.
"Clark, we've been through this."
"So no need to go over it again." He winced the minute the words left his
mouth.
His father looked at him sternly. "Get inside."
Clark obediently entered his room, and his father followed. He sat down in the
nearest chair and looked at his father, regretting taking a submissive position
so quickly.
"Look, I'm sorry I looked at you that way, but I don't need a lecture about it.
I mean don't you think you're overreacting a little?"
"No I don't Clark, because I'm starting to wonder if you really understand
what's going on here. Are you under the impression that you shouldn't be
punished for what happened?"
Now that he mentioned it...but Clark shook his head 'no'.
"Really?"
Clark thought his head would explode if he had to listen to another lecture
given in that same damn stern, but calm voice-it wasn't fair, none of it was.
He ran his hand through his hair hard, nearly yanking out a few strands.
"Clark?"
He looked at him tensely "I didn't do anything wrong Dad."
His father nodded like he'd been expecting that response, and Clark turned
away, trying to deny the sudden hostility he felt towards his father.
His father pulled up the other chair to face him and looked him squarely in the
eyes.
"But you did Clark, and you have to understand that. I need to be able to trust
you in order to send you back there. Your mother and I were talking, and we're
starting to think maybe this wasn't such a good idea, but we don't want to
encourage you to give up. At the same time, we have a bigger more important
issue to consider, and thats your secret."
Clark went to protest but his Dad waved his hand. "Let me finish. If we thought
for a moment any part of our lives compromised your safety, we'd change it. If
having the stores risked exposing you in anyway, I'd sell them. So I need you
understand why this is so upsetting to us, son, or I can't in good faith send
you back to school."
Clark didn't say anything for a long time. How could he tell his father he
honestly had nothing to worry about? That the reason he felt he shouldn't be
punished was because he'd been punishing himself over and over since it
happened. He didn't think it was wrong what he did-its less than someone else
would have done, but if someone else had thrown that snowball, Jesse's nose
wouldn't be broken.
"I understand Dad, more than you or Mom could ever hope to. I have this
strength-this power that I don't fully know what to do with, and its something
I have to think about every second of everyday. I'm sorry about what happened
with Jesse, and it scares me as much as it scares you. I don't want to hurt
anyone, and I hate that I did. Trust me or not, but I'm going back to school.
You once told me that quitting was a hard habit to break, and I don't want to
start going down that path-its too easy."
Jonathan felt and sharp pang of regret and just looked at his son. All this
time he'd been seeing Clark as a child that still needed to be guided towards
right and wrong. But the Clark that stood before him was a young man showing
the full burden of his actions. Jonathan suddenly felt ashamed. He admonished
himself for once again underestimating his son. When would he accept that
they've raised an incredible person? He stood there at a lost as he watched
Clark's face color with the emotion he was fighting to control. Jonathan did
the only thing a father could do and reached over and pulled him into a strong
embrace, saying softly into his ear "I'm so proud of you Clark." He felt
Clark's whole body let go as he sank deeper into his shoulders, and he waited
for the release he knew was coming. He held him for a long time, creating a
place where he didn't have to be so strong, and everything Clark had been
holding in for months came rushing out. He allowed Clark be the first to pull
away when he was ready, and when he finally stood up his face was bright red
and wet with tears he didn't bother wiping away. He looked at his father with a
very small smile that lit up his eyes for a moment and whispered "sorry".
Jonathan returned the smile and said "don't be." as he affectionately ruffled
his hair, kissed his cheek and said goodnight.
Clark climbed into bed that night no surer than he had been, but at least
knowing for certain-the only thing he;d ever known for certain, was that his
parents would always be there, and as long as he had that, even the scary likes
of Excelsior and all its pompous duplicity didn't seem so bad.
===============================================================================
The days were plunging fast into winter almost bypassing Fall completely. Lex
wandered through the trees that had barely begun to change before their leaves
littered the ground. He often walked the same path that led to that open field
where he first saw Clark. There was something both strange and comforting about
his tall figure brushing the top of the branches that day, and it was exactly
what he needed. He was more nervous about starting at Excelsior than he wanted
to admit and something about Clark gave him the strength he needed, though he
had no idea why. Maybe he sensed the same loneliness in Clark that he felt, and
he needed something to focus on, to know there was someone at that place he
could reach and make a difference to. But somewhere he'd crossed a line in his
mind and allowed things to get too personal.
It was getting more difficult to remain objective where Clark was concerned and
now Clark had been a victim of his inability to hide his true feelings. He
couldn't let that happen again, and he didn't want to lose Clark completely.
They'd transcended the teacher-student relationship long ago, and now they
behaved more like good friends, and friends had always been hard to come by for
him, given the black aura surrounding his family name. Clark was the first
person to see him as he was in the moment, not for what he had been, or what
his name implied. He even began to rely on him more and more for advice on
personal matters, and Lex loved being in the position of mentor. All he ever
wanted was to be respected and looked up to-part of the reason he became a
teacher; and to have that from someone as decent and intelligent as Clark was
more than he ever hoped for. So no matter what he needed to do, he wasn't going
to jeopardize that.
===============================================================================
 
Clark wondered if anyone cared how much he hated mahogany. As he sat with his
parents outside the Dean's office he thought it unlikely anyone did. Well maybe
his mother would if he told her, his father would give him a look and tell him
to stop it and that this was serious. He leaned back in the stiff leather chair
loathing his surroundings. Mahogany was dark and oppressive and cold. The very
sight sent shivers up down his spine-he even hated the smell, which was a
mixture of rotted wood and old books, or maybe that was just the way the Dean
smelled. He felt a gentle hand on his leg and was surprised to find he'd been
fidgeting like mad and obviously annoying his mother. But she was gentle about
telling him to stop. She made eye contact and gave him a small smile when his
leg stopped moving, and went back to pretending not to stare at the Dean's
office door.
Finally after fifteen agonizing minutes the Dean stepped out of his office and
ushered them inside. It was surprisingly painless and quick. The dean told them
Jesse's parents wanted to put the whole incident behind them, as did Jesse-
though Clark doubted that. And he reminded his parents what an exemplary
student Clark had been and hoped this was the last time Clark ever landed in
his office.
It was strange to be back on school grounds after everything that happened. He
didn't know why he expected it to look different after just five days. His dorm
was the same ivy covered old brick building it had always been, and there was
still a slat missing from one of the shutters outside his window. The air was a
little chillier but that was the only difference; maybe— he hoped—things could
return to normal. He stopped in front of the entrance to his building to say
goodbye to his parents. He was about to embrace his mother when he heard his
name yelled from the door way.
"Kent!" It was Braden of course and he barreled down the stairs to greet him.
The surprising thing was Damon and Kennedy came out the door after him but
Braden waved them on. He stopped just short of pulling him into a bear hug when
he saw his parents standing there. Braden put on his biggest smile and extended
his hand to them both.
"Hey!, good to finally meet you Mr. and Mrs. Kent. I'm Braden, Clark's roommate
who he doesn't have enough manners to introduce."
Clark laughed. "Well if you'd given me a chance..."
"You're too slow Kent. Wow, you're really tall too Mr. Kent. I see where Clark
gets it-oh right, he's adopted. Funny how that worked out huh?"
His father had the same reaction to Braden he had when they first met-somewhere
between bewilderment and amusement; in the end he just decided to laugh.
"Well we asked for a tall baby, the dark hair was Martha's idea."
Braden's eyes widened. "Seriously?"
His mother hit his father and smiled. "No, not seriously."
Braden just broke out in his classic laugh that always made Clark smile. "Hey,
your Dad is a lot funnier than you, you should learn to lighten up."
Clark shot him a dirty look.
His Dad shook his head and laughed marveling that Clark had described Braden
perfectly. He knew it was time to hand Clark back over to Excelsior, and
clapped Braden on the back, telling him to take good care of their son. He
reached over and pulled Clark into a bear hug and spoke low enough so only he
could hear.
"Call us anytime Ok? I know you're trying to be strong but you don't have to be
alone. Even grown men need their parents sometimes. I love you Clark."
Clark gave his Dad a gentle squeeze back. "I love you too Dad."
He hugged his Mom tightly and kissed them both goodbye. He knew he was too old
for any of it, but he didn't care. Braden stood with him and watched them go,
then slung his arm around his shoulder, guiding him inside.
"Kent, I have sooo much to tell you!"
===============================================================================
Back in their dorm room, Clark let Braden prattle on for a good twenty minutes.
Stretched across his bed he reprised all the events of the last few days,
barely stopping for a breath.
"Man, you should have seen Jesse when he came back. His nose was like twice the
size of his face-ok maybe not that big, but it was hideous!" Seeing the look on
Clark's face he quickly added. "Oh but it looks almost normal now. The swelling
only lasted a day or two, its mostly just purple lately. Anyway, Jesse tried to
go on and on how evil you were and how he hoped you got expelled, but pretty
much everyone hates Jesse, so he didn't really find a sympathetic audience. And
pretty much everyone who knows you, likes you and never had a problem with you.
So Jesse had to pretty much shut the hell up about it and act like it was no
big deal. By the end of the week, he tried to spin it like you guys just got
into a fight and you got a lucky hit in. What a fucking loser!"
Braden started laughing at his own words and Clark couldn't help but remember
that just a week ago Braden shunned their friendship publicly for that loser.
Clark tried to keep his face placid, but something must have betrayed how he
really felt, because Braden suddenly got quiet.
"Kent...I know I;ve been a complete ass to you and I'm sorry it took what
happened with Jesse to make me realize it. And it makes me sick that you still
put up with me after the way I've treated you. I don't give a shit about all
this anymore. You're probably the best friend I have here-have ever had here,
and I need to grow some balls and just own it. Why am I playing kiss up to
assholes like Jesse and Damon, when I'd rather hang out with you?"
Clark really wanted to believe everything Braden was saying, but he didn't want
to get hurt if in another week when Jesse was back in everyone's good graces he
changed his tune again. He watched Braden fighting to keep eye contact while
his cheeks colored with obvious embarrassment. He thought Braden would make a
great politician one day, or an actor, because it was almost impossible not to
like him no matter what he did. He couldn't fault him-he knew he was trying,
and whenever Braden peppered his speech with expletives he was usually
attempting to hide that sensitive side he claimed to hate.
Clark decided to let him off the hook. "I told you before it was Ok. You've
known those guys forever and I just got here, I didn't expect you to just
abandon ship."
Braden sighed and didn't smile for once. "You're amazing Clark."
Clark hopped off his bed. "Amazingly hungry. Lets sneak off campus and get some
pizza."
Braden eyed him curiously as if he was trying to see if Clark had been replaced
by an impostor.
"Weren't you just suspended for five days? Do you really think you should push
your luck?"
"I know, but pizza sounds a lot better than whatever they're serving tonight
..."
"Clark, you're going to have to see everyone tomorrow, why don't you just get
it over with."
Braden was astute at the most annoying times. "I'd like to live in denial for
one more night if you don't mind."
"Clark, you're a hero. You have nothing to worry about. You did what most of
the school wanted to do to Jesse since he came here."
"It should make me feel better, but it doesn't."
Braden picked up his jacket. "Because you're disgustingly good. Now come on,
over-cooked pasta awaits!"
Clark shook his head. "I'm honestly not that hungry. You go on, I think I'm
going to see Professor Luthor anyway."
Braden's expression changed suddenly, but he tried to keep his face neutral. "I
see, this was all a rouse. You were just really biding your time until you knew
the teachers were done with their evening meeting."
"What? I didn't even think about that. I just wanted to thank him. The dean
said he was a big reason in why they went pretty light on me."
Braden suppressed a snort.
"Don't start with the Lex stuff again. I don't care what you've heard from your
brother."
Braden raised his eyebrow. "Lex is it? Watch your back Kent." He flashed him a
big smile and slipped out the door.
***** Chapter 10 *****
He didn't know why he did it, but something propelled him to arrive at the
faculty housing in under three seconds. It was probably a dumb thing to do, to
blatantly use his powers, but he hadn't realized until that minute how much he
missed being able to do whatever he wanted away from watchful eyes.
Lex's light was on so he speed up the back stairs, by-passing the elevator.
He'd only been to Lex's rooms once or twice since they always worked in his
office, so he hoped it wasn't too forward of him to visit him now. He took a
deep breath and knocked lightly on the door. He heard a muffled "Come in!" and
opened the door.
Lex was apparently in the middle of making himself dinner. Various spices and
herbs were spread about on the narrow counter that separated the kitchenette
from the rest of the front room, and the pungent smell of burned meat filled
the small apartment. As Clark looked closer he could see the whole kitchen was
in complete chaos, and Lex-who's back was still to him looked completely
flustered over a pot of something that was boiling over.
"I'll be right with you Jack-though I'm thinking dinner is a complete bust."
"Its ok, I'm not that hungry."
Lex stopped dead in a comically frozen pose with his charred spoon held in mid-
air. He whipped around and his whole face lit up when he saw Clark standing
there. Without thinking he threw the spoon down and went to hug Clark, but
remembered himself just in time and just grabbed his shoulders affectionately.
"Welcome back! I see the judge gave you a stay."
Clark returned his smile. "Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Now
I feel like an idiot for worrying so much. But I just came by to thank you for
your support, the Dean mentioned how you really went to bat for me; I
appreciate it."
"I was just being honest, and its for the good of the school. That Jesse kid is
a pain in the ass, and I think the Dean realizes that. Sorry, teachers aren't
supposed to say things like that. Anyway,
Excelsior needs more students like you, not less."
Clark blushed a little. "Thank you. Well, I'm obviously interrupting dinner, so
I guess I'll go face the dining hall."
"No, you're not interrupting. I'm happy you came by."
"Well, who's Jack?"
Lex's smile faltered a little. "Jack? He's just a friend. I promised I'd make
us dinner, but I should have remembered I can't cook at all. I thought I could
manage pasta, but I was seriously wrong."
Clark laughed, but he felt a small pang of-envy? But that was ridiculous. Lex
could have friends, he just never imagined he did. How completely arrogant of
him to see himself as his only friend. Lex was definitely worldly and well
known, he probably had a ton of friends. Now Clark was realizing maybe it was
ridiculous to think Lex would even consider himself a friend of a sixteen year
old student of his. And maybe Braden was right, maybe Jack was a date...Clark
tried to shake himself out of his thoughts, because the jealousy seemed to only
increase. At least he knew alien teens were just as confused as everyone
claimed human teens were.
"Clark?"
"Huh?" He must have looked like an idiot standing there. "Oh, sorry, I think
I'm tired or something. Anyway, I'll see in you in class."
Lex really wished he didnt have to go, but Jack would be there any moment, and
it would be awkward to say the least.
"I'd invite you to stay, but I think we'll probably just go into town and eat
something edible, and I don't want you to get in trouble for leaving campus."
Clark nodded. "Thanks anyway. I'll go catch up with Braden."
"Its good to have you back Clark."
He smiled that smile that drove Lex crazy. It was somewhere between embarrassed
and proud and pretty much summed up Clark.
Clark turned abruptly just before he closed the door. "Oh are we resuming our
research meetings tomorrow?"
"Next week, I want to give you time to get settled back in."
"I'm settled."
Lex laughed at him. "Well lets play it by ear. Let me know how you're feeling
about it after your classes tomorrow."
"Ok, goodnight Professor."
"Goodnight Clark."
===============================================================================
For the first time in a long time, Clark overslept. He was welcomed to his
first morning back in school by Braden tugging at his arm and yelling directly
into his ear "Wake up!" and grumbling how trying to move him was like trying to
move a damn boulder. So Clark was so rushed trying not to be late, that he
didn't have time to worry about how everyone would look at him once he was
thrown back into the thick of the student body. Before he knew it, he was
standing in the dining hall with Braden leading the way to the long table in
the middle where 'the crew' always sat. Clark was about to leave Braden and
find a seat at the smaller tables by the window, when Braden tugged his
backpack off his shoulder into an empty chair next to his and said they should
go get breakfast before all the waffles were gone.
He didn't want to be pleased, and he didn't want it to matter, but he bit back
a smile of relief as he followed a chattering Braden into the lunch line right
behind Gareth who looked genuinely pleased to see him. Back at the table, he
noticed Kennedy had joined them, while Jesse and Damon sat at the next table
over. Of course the main topic of conversation was what happened between him
and Jesse, but Clark thought it was in poor taste to discuss it with Jesse in
earshot and shooting venomous looks his way. He didn't really want to talk
about it anyway, and would be glad when the attention of the school shifted
away from him.
Still, it was nice to no longer be an outcast, no matter how temporary.
By the time Clark walked into Lex's classroom-his last class of the day-he'd
grown tired of all the looks and whispers and knowing smiles, or pointed
glares. Didn't anyone have anything better to think about it? To make matters
worse, Jesse sat just two desks away from him in Economics. His exasperation
was quickly turning into a bad mood, chasing away the elation he felt that
morning. It must have been written all over his face, because Lex threw him a
sympathetic look as he entered the classroom. He noticed Jesse was already
seated as he made his way over to his desk. It was the first time he'd gotten a
good look at his face-it was bruised and swollen around his nose, and his
cheeks were splotched with fading purple and red. Part of him would be happy
when Jesse's face returned to normal so he wouldn't have to feel such crushing
guilt every time he looked at him. He was so engrossed in being face to face
with what he'd done, he didn't notice a well placed leg in the aisle.
Clark's face hit the old wood before he knew what was happening, and his books
and pens spilled out of his bag, scattering in all directions along with his
limbs. The burst of laughter all around him roared in his ears, and his cheeks
burned with embarrassment and fear of having to explain the now cracked floor.
He took a deep breathe, knowing he had two choices, and whichever he chose
would seal his fate for the rest of the semester.
He gathered himself off the floor, placing a big grin on his face and looked
directly at Jesse.
"I guess your legs grew since I last saw you. How about keeping them out of the
aisle."
Another burst of laughter from everyone let him know he'd chosen wisely. Jesse
just looked at him coldly and turned around in his seat. Gareth helped him pick
up his books and supplies. Clark didn't dare look in Lex's direction-he had
never been one to play to his peers and he knew Lex wouldn't approve-he didn't
even approve; but he wouldn't go back to being an outcast just to spare Jesse
further embarrassment.
Still, the whole incident rattled him and he found concentrating on the fate of
the U.S dollar against the ever-growing Euro impossible, so when Lex asked him
about the benefits of returning to the gold standard, Clark's mind was firmly
planted on the very visible crack in the floor. Usually if he searched his
brain he discovered some part of him had been paying attention, but this time
he came up blank. He sheepishly asked Lex to repeat the question and answered
more than was necessary to make up for not paying attention. Gareth elbowed him
and snickered. Clark really just wanted the day over with.
He tried to slip out class as soon as the bell rang, but Lex summoned him to
his desk. Maybe he was going to reprimand him for embarrassing Jesse. Clark
slowly gathered his things and waited until the room was completely clear
before he approached.
Lex was leaning against his desk, watching as Clark acted like he was walking a
death march. He tried his best not to smile.
"First day back pretty rough, huh?"
Clark just shrugged, then immediately heard his mother's voice in his head
admonishing him for being rude.
"Sorry. It was Ok. Hopefully things will go back to normal soon."
Lex nodded. "I wouldn't worry to much. By this time next week you'll be old
news. I'd watch Jesse if I were you though. I have a feeling he's not
forgetting this anytime soon."
Clark winced, wishing now he had handled the situation differently and cared
less about saving face.
"I really should have kept my mouth shut."
Leave it to Clark to actually feel bad about embarrassing someone who'd just
made him fall flat on his face. If it had been anyone else, he might have had a
full-on fight on his hands. The truth was there were few bigger pricks on
campus than Jesse and he was happy Clark wasn't letting him get away with his
usual antics. Unfortunately, boys like Jesse had a way of enacting insidious
retaliation and he only hoped he'd be able to protect Clark next time.
"Clark, Jesse deserved a lot worse than a few choice words. He tripped you, and
he could have hurt you. And don't you dare bring up his nose-you push someone
hard enough and you're bound to get something broken."
Clark was so relieved Lex didn't think he was a brat for what he did, he almost
smiled. Almost.
" I wish I understood why he's like that."
"I gave up trying to understand boys like Jesse a long time ago. They are who
they are and usually turn into horrible adults. The only thing you can do is to
try and stay out of their way, and don't let them win if you can't. Well,
enough about that prick..."
Clark eyes widened, he'd never get used to hearing a teacher talk about another
student like that.
"... but I think I've proven my point from last night. You obviously need time
to readjust, so we can begin working together whenever you're ready. I know
today is our usual day, so I just wanted to re-confirm we don't have to do any
research tonight ."
Clark looked alarmed. "No, please, can we still work tonight? Seriously, its
the one thing I've been looking forward to all day. I just want someone sane to
talk to for once. I mean i love Braden, but he never shuts up."
Lex laughed out loud, and Clark broke into his first smile since breakfast. The
elation he felt that morning was slowly returning. He reminded himself he
tended to take everything way too seriously, and he shouldn't let people's
curiosity or Jesse's stupidity ruin his mood.
"Ok, if you're up for it, then I'll see you after dinner."
Clark smiled brightly. "Cool! Oops, I need to make study hall. I'd better run.
I;ll see you tonight."
Lex barely had time to get out a goodbye before Clark was gone. Then that same
weird emptiness he always felt whenever Clark left the room crept over him. It
was like the first moments of dusk when the sun first slipped beneath the
horizon.
That boy was really making him ridiculous.
Instinct told him he definitely should not be spending evenings alone with him,
even if they were just working. He needed to end the research sessions
completely, but he knew he wasn't going to. Right or wrong, its what he wanted
and he wasn't about to give it up. He liked Clark way too much to compromise
him, so he wasn't worried. He'd just have to find that self-control he learned
a long time ago.
===============================================================================
Clark rushed through dinner, trying his best to ignore Braden's weirdly jealous
glares and showed up at Lex's rooms five minutes early. Wonderful smells wafted
into the hall from Lex's room, a far cry from the pungent burnt smell from the
day before. Maybe Lex had learned how to cook. When Lex opened the door and he
saw the large white bags sitting on the counter, he realized Lex had simply
learned to order in.
"You have room for lasagna?"
Clark smiled and hurried past Lex over to the waiting container on the counter.
He took a long whiff.
"Mmmm..this smells almost a good as my Mom's, and a hell of a lot better than
that mystery meat they served at dinner tonight. I hope our parents know their
hard earned money is not going to our nutrition."
Lex laughed and handed him a plate, and he immediately tore open the container
and grabbed the waiting knife.
"Well dig in, I'm just organizing some notes."
Clark looked up, his mouth already full of noodles and cheese and mumbled
something that sounded like "You're not eating?" but Lex couldn't be sure.
Clark slipped another piece of lasagna onto a plate and walked over to where
Lex was sitting, setting the plate in front of him.
Lex shoved the papers to the side and started to inhale his dinner. He felt
like he hadn't eaten all day-he also felt like he was on a date; all that was
missing was a bottle of wine and maybe some candles. As anxious as he felt
sitting inches from Clark watching him enjoy his meal, maybe wine wasn't such a
bad idea. He didnt know why he had the urge to feed Clark, well he knew part of
the reason-food and sex were closely related and he just wanted to see the look
of enjoyment on Clark's face. He wanted to experience something simple and
pleasurable, especially after the phone call he'd just gotten.
"I hope you don't mind, but I never eat italian without a good glass of red
wine."
Clark gestured that he didn't care without so much as pausing in his meal. Lex
had to smile a little as Clark continued to attack the food like a drowning man
being thrown a life preserver, and the small moans of pleasure Clark made as he
devoured his second plate of lasagna were exactly what Lex needed tonight-or
what he absolutely didn't need. Maybe he'd give Clark a glass of wine too, then
they'd both be relaxed and maybe Clark would let him-Lex shook his head
violently-he was not going there. One phone call was not going to make him
forget everything he'd struggled so hard to be.
Clark laughed at himself as he cleaned his second plate. "Sorry. I don't know
why I'm starving. I ate pretty well back in Oregon with my parents and I was
afraid it'd be weeks before I had a decent meal again. So, thanks a lot, it was
a nice surprise."
Lex smiled and poured himself a glass of wine. "Well there's plenty more if you
want."
Clark shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "No thank you. I'd eat it
all if you let me."
"I don't know where you put it."
Clark shrugged and grinned. "I'm young, maybe I'm still growing."
That was a nice slap back into reality. Lex put the wine on the counter and
cleared the table. They really needed to start concentrating on research
quickly.
They delved into their work and Lex was finally able to concentrate and stop
fixating on Clark's flushed cheeks, or the way he kept running his fingers
through his hair when he was trying to understand something. Then he remembered
wanting to mention something that'd he'd noticed in the classroom.
While he was straightening up the room, he'd nearly tripped over a broken floor
board and realized it had to be from when Clark had fallen. He thought maybe
he'd gotten hurt and didn't want to mention it.
"I meant to ask how you were."
Clark looked up puzzled.
"I mean from the fall in class. I saw the floor board cracked-you must have hit
your head pretty hard. You sure you're ok?"
Clark froze and his stomach turned to ice. He was sure all the color drained
from his face. He'd nearly forgotten about the damage the floor suffered when
he collided with it.
"Clark?"
"Um...sorry, No, I mean, Yes I'm fine. Maybe the floor was already cracked."
"I think I would have noticed that before. You sure you're Ok?"
He nodded. He didn't know why he was so panicked. Its not like the next
sentence out of Lex's mouth would be. "Are you some super-powered alien floor
cracker?"
He took a deep breathe and tried to steady his nerves. Lex reached over and
moved his bangs off his forehead looking for any sign of a bruise.
"Amazing, not a scratch. Well the floors are pretty old..."
Clark felt a strange sensation travel down his spine as Lex's fingers lightly
brushed his skin. For a small moment Lex looked directly into his eyes and he
felt his heart pound in his chest. He looked away and his skin flushed deeper.
He sighed inwardly, wanting to desperately understand what was going on.
Lex withdrew his hand quickly, cursing himself silently for allowing that small
bit of intimacy. Clark's flesh was surprisingly warm and soft, and he bit his
lip hard, trying not to-The shrill sound of his phone pulled him back to
reality.
He quicky went into the next room to answer it. Clark sat there and waited,
telling himself over and over that it was no big deal-that Lex wasn't from
Smallville and wouldn't suspect anything, and that more importantly-he
definitely did not have a crush on his teacher.
Lex came out of the other room looking visibly agitated. "I'm sorry Clark we
have to cut this short. I have an unexpected visitor downstairs."
Lex looked really out of sorts; he'd never seen him that way. His usual cool
composure was all but gone.
"Is everything Ok?"
Lex was packing his bag for him and thrust it towards him, practically pushing
him out the door.
"Yeah...yeah, its fine...I just, I wasn't expecting this, though I should have
I guess."
The very last thing he needed right now was for Clark to be here when his
uninvited guest arrived.
"You don't seem fine, Lex."
Lex ran his hand over his scalp. "I'll be fine Clark. I'm really sorry, I'll
see you on Wednesday, Ok?"
Clark nodded, still looking worried, but he left feeling completely uneasy.
As soon as Clark left, his phone rang again, and Lex grabbed it angrily.
"I don't know why you're here, but I'll be right down Dad."
***** Chapter 11 *****
Clark watched Lex change from skeleton to flesh and back again over and over.
He was absently using his x-ray vision instead of listening to what he was
saying. Today they started learning about how the stock market works, and how
everything from natural disasters and political appointments affects the
country's economy. Lex had been warning them about this series of lessons
because they had a very important paper to write over Christmas break on the
subject. It was crucial he pay attention, but his mind was elsewhere. He
couldn't seem to shake the incident that roused him out of a deep sleep around
2 am that morning. It was one of the few times he cursed his excellent hearing.
What he really wanted to know is what Braden, and whoever his counterpart was,
were thinking. Even if they thought he was dead asleep, he still didn't feel it
was something they should be doing just a few feet away from him. Someone must
have said his name, because the first thing he remembered through his haze upon
waking, was Braden whispering "Kent is the deepest sleeper I know, don't
worry."
The next sounds he heard were a lot of fumbling and more whispering and
then...moaning and gasps. At that point Clark turned over in his bed, keeping
the covers over his head. The movement stopped and didn't resume until they
were sure he was just shifting positions. When Clark got the courage to peek
through his comforter he was a little shocked by the sight. There was Braden,
facing him, with head thrown back and cheeks bright red, while another boy had
a hand wrapped firmly around his penis, while his other hand continued to push
his boxers down. Then the other guy did something that made Braden's eyes fly
open and wince, then he started moving quickly behind him. At that point Clark
had seen enough and shut his eyes, shifting his body back towards the window.
What bothered him most was how his own body responded to the sexcapade going
on. His hard-on was almost painful and he had no choice but to quickly relieve
the pressure, and bit his lip hard to keep any moans from escaping, hoping he'd
be able to change his boxers before Braden woke.
He eventually drifted back to sleep, and had no idea when the other boy finally
left their room-Braden was alone by morning. But there it loomed again, the
question of his sexuality. He just wished someone could make sense of it all
for him. There was just no one to ask...except maybe Lex-who was saying his
name for the third time.
"Care to join us in reality Clark?"
Clark looked up, completely embarrassed to see everyone looking in his
direction.
"What? Oh, sorry Professor, I didn't hear the question."
"That's pretty apparent. See me after class ends." And he moved on and asked
someone else. There was much snickering around him and thankfully the bell rang
before things could get any worse.
As soon as everyone left he approached his desk. Normally he'd be upset he'd
disappointed him, but today he wanted to get the reprimand over with, he had
more important things on his mind.
"I'm sorry I wasn't listening."
But Lex just waved his hand in dismissal. "Don't worry, I bore myself sometimes
too."
Clark looked relieved but a little puzzled.
"I couldn't let you get away with zoning out like that, but I really just
wanted to apologize for pushing you out last night."
He relaxed a little. "Oh, thats ok, it was late anyway. Who called?"
Lex's face immediately looked stoic. "Just an acquaintance. Is everything
alright with you? I know you're still adjusting and everything."
He tried to smile. "I'm fine. I think I'm old news now anyway."
Lex nodded not entirely convinced. "Well, get to class. I'll see you tomorrow
evening."
Clark went to leave, but stopped, hesitating.
"Something wrong?"
Clark shifted on his feet, not quite meeting his gaze. "Lex...do you know
anything about..I mean of course you do, but at this age...I mean my
age...weird things happen right? I mean it doesn't necessarily mean anything
does it?"
Lex stepped closer. He didn't know whether to laugh or be scared. "Clark, whats
going on?"
He sighed and shook his head. "Nothing, its nothing...I'm going to be late."
Lex looked concerned. "Clark...?"
"I gotta go."
"Well, if you need to talk..."
Clark nodded and quickly left.
===============================================================================
He was halfway to class when he realized he didn't actually have one. He made a
sharp turn toward the library-the last place he wanted to go, but students
weren't permitted in the dorms during school hours, and were expected to
"study" when they weren't in class. He normally loved to be surrounded by
books, but there was something about the school's library he found oppressive.
Why all the main buildings had to be swathed in dark mahogany he'd never
understand, though his aversion to the wood was recent.
He entered the library building and saw Jesse and his friends in the large
study hall situated just across from the main library room. He went to bypass
the study hall completely when he saw that Jesse and his friends seemed to be
hovering over someone. He moved in closer to the windows and noticed Jesse's
horrible smirk right away. He and his friends were clearly taunting someone,
and it looked like Eddie from his economics class. Eddie didn't have a ton of
friends and small for his age, so he was an easy target. That was low even for
Jesse. Clark pushed through the study hall entrance and walked directly over to
Eddie's table. He had no idea what he was going to do or what he was going to
say, but it angered him the aging study hall monitors seemed to let things like
this go on too often. But the moment he neared Jesse, old Mr. Horace seemed to
spring to life.
"Jesse, I think you'd better take your seat, and Mr. Kent, find somewhere to
sit quickly."
It was if the incident with Jesse cast him in a new light as a trouble maker.
Nothing else could explain how his presence suddenly made the monitor take
notice. It left him feeling very uneasy and misjudged, but he took the seat
across from Eddie silently. Eddie smiled at him appreciatively and returned to
reading. Clark opened his book and started reading, wishing time moved as
quickly as he did.
===============================================================================
He ended up worrying for nothing. As mid-terms approached the days seem to fly
by. There was definite tension in the air as the main activity of the campus
became grouping up for intense cram sessions and staying up all hours of the
night typing away on end-of-term papers. Clark had finished his ages ago, and
he was tired of pretending he was as stressed as everyone else. He grew more
and more restless with each day, though he had no idea why. Talk of his run-in
with Jesse had ended after his first week back, though his image as a shining
example of wholesome goodness was tarnished. He didn't mind, it kind of took
the pressure off.
It was late afternoon, and he slipped down the backstairs of the dormitory,
avoiding the common area where everyone was studying and went out the side
door, sprinting towards the horse stables. He'd been spending more time there
lately-it was the closest he could come to being on the farm. Maybe next
semester he would give up swimming for his required sport and switch to the
equestrian program. It was the one sport where his powers didn't factor and
he'd be on an even playing field. His favorite horse was a beautiful Arabian
mare, named Tornada. She reminded him of the horse he liked to ride most back
home-beautiful, proud and temperamental. His Dad always said she didn't
tolerate anyone except him. It was ironic that the closer winter break came,
the more homesick he became. Maybe because he was no longer completely
comfortable in his room.
Braden's nighttime activities had continued; though sporadically, which made it
more nerve-wracking because he never knew when to expect it. It was like the
giant elephant in the room-neither ever mentioned it, but he felt certain
Braden knew he was aware of it by now-there seemed to be this new underlying
tension between them. Every time Clark opened his mouth to say something,
anxiety got the best of him and he remained mute. Often he retreated to Lex's
room, but even that wasn't the sanctuary it once was. Lex had grown
increasingly irritable and anxious lately, and he knew something was going on,
but he was too chicken to ask. He overheard him yelling one day when he arrived
outside his door, and it sounded like he was talking to his father. He didn't
mention it when he let Clark in, but he was clearly agitated by the call. Clark
hadn't stayed long that day.
He wanted to saddle Toranada and take her for a quick ride, but if you weren't
enrolled in the equestrian program you weren't allowed to ride unless you had
your own horse. He wondered if it would be too bratty to ask his parents for a
horse just for school.
"You going riding?"
Clark jumped slightly and turned around. He hadn't seen Eddie approaching. So
much for his exceptional hearing.
"No, I want to, but i don't have a horse here."
Eddie looked dressed for a casual ride in jeans and a parka. "Thats too bad, I
was going to ask if you wanted to ride the trail with me. I'm sick of studying.
I don't think anyone would mind if you took Tornada for a quick run; riding
classes are over and she needs the exercise."
Clark took a quick look around. No faculty was insight and the trail was well
away from any of the school buildings. He smiled and shrugged, reaching over to
grab a saddle off the hook. They rode side-by-side into the clearing, not
saying much. Finally Eddie cleared his throat.
"Um, Clark? I never got a chance to thank you for that day in the library."
He'd almost forgotten about that. "I didn't do anything, Mr. Horace stopped me
before I got the chance."
Eddie looked a little embarrassed. "I know, but you were going to, and thats
more than most people would do. I don't get guys like Jesse, I mean whats the
point?"
Clark shrugged. "I don't know. I gave up trying to figure him out a while ago.
I'm just sorry he's making your life here miserable."
Eddie smiled and guided his horse just ahead of Clark. "He's not as bad as he
was. What you did to him seemed to knock him down a few notches. Anyway, its
ok, I mean its not all that bad. Come on I'll race you to the pond."
Clark kicked his horse and followed. He knew it had to be hard for Eddie to
thank him-the whole situation had to be humiliating for him. He hated that guys
like Eddie got picked on because they were easy targets. He'd seen it all
through school-anyone who was small or different was mocked and harassed.
Fortunately, he'd never been a target, but it made him all the more protective
of his secret. While he tried to combat it whenever he could, he knew part of
him was grateful it wasn't him.
He'd been drifting and Eddie was far ahead of him, so he sent the horse into a
fast gallop to catch up. Eddie looked behind him to see how far back Clark was
and didn't see the fallen log he was coming up on. Clark saw it and reacted
before he could think. In an instant he was off his horse and grabbing the
reigns of Eddie's horse to keep it from tripping, while catching a falling
Eddie before he hit the ground. The horse reared up but he gently guided him
down, and went to make sure Eddie was ok. But he wasn't. He sat there wide-
eyed, looking back at where Clark had left his horse and where Clark stood now.
As the realization of what Eddie must have seen dawned on him, he felt like
he'd been doused with ice water. He stood frozen in one spot, waiting.
"Clark...what just happened?"
His throat was tight and his voice sounded strange "I..I saw the horse was
going to trip over the log and..I didn't want either of you to get hurt..." He
really wished Eddie's eyes stopped looking like giant saucers.
"But, you were back there, I saw you, and then you were here..I don't
understand.."
"Please just forget it Eddie."
He struggled to get to his feet. Clark wasn;t sure he wanted him to help him
right now-to be touched by him.
"But, how? I mean, I don't get it."
Clark was growing frustrated. "Just forget it. The important thing is you and
the horse are ok, right? I can't explain what you think you saw."
"Clark..."
"Please."
Eddie stood there looking at him with an odd expression Clark didn't want to
see. "So..." he lowered his voice, even though they were in the middle of the
woods, "..are those myths about Smallville true then?"
"What?"
"You know, that something happened to the people there during that meteor
shower when we were little."
Clark started to walk away. He knew he shouldn't-he knew that was as good as
admitting the truth, but he couldn't stand that look. He didn't want anyone to
look at him like that-like he was a freak.
"I'm taking Tornada back."
"But I just want to know what happened."
Clark turned around and looked at him. "I did you a favor, now I'm asking you
to do me one-just forget it, please."
Clark hopped up on the horse and headed back to the stables as fast as he
could. He had no idea if Eddie would tell anyone what he saw-hopefully no one
believed him if he did. Christmas vacation really couldn't come soon enough.
===============================================================================
"Its snowing again. Its the second time this week. Don't worry, i've lost my
desire to make snowballs, but it doesn't stop everyone else. Honestly though,
there's hardly enough snow on the ground to make much of anything, but its
pretty when its coming down.
He pointed the camera towards the lake to show how beautifully serene it was,
then sat it on a nearby rock and continued talking into it. He was desperately
trying to sound cheerful, but he could barely muster a smile since taking the
horses out with Eddie. He adjusted the focus and tried again.
"So...I'm really excited to come home next week. I never thought i'd say this,
but i really miss Smallville. Um...Oh, my mid-terms are going well, i take my
last one tomorrow. Lex, I mean Professor Luthor wasn't kidding when he said his
would be killer, but i think I'll keep my A average...I'm sorry guys, I don't
know whats wrong, I think I'm just ready for a break. I know you canceled the
ski trip, so are we still having the usual New Year's Eve party at least? Chloe
texted me yesterday and asked, I think she has someone she wants to bring... I
think... I'm going to head back inside, its almost dinner time. Really crappy
food awaits me. Love you."
Clark closed the camera and tucked it into his school bag. The snow was falling
in big flakes now and he'd forgotten his coat. He didn't need it, but he
worried even more now about causing suspicion. He'd avoided Eddie since that
day, ducking around any corner to avoid walking his way, and avoiding eye
contact whenever they were in the same vicinity, but there was no indication
he'd told anyone anything. Maybe he was overreacting, and so far no one had
questioned whether or not he was like everyone else, and it scared him more
than he thought it would.
The whole school was bustling now as everyone was busy preparing to go home for
the holidays—too busy to notice whether Clark wore a coat or not he was sure.
Most exams were over, and their time was completely their own. He discovered
pretty quickly how boring things became when there was no structure. They
couldn't leave campus, so most people spent their time holed up in the common
room watching bad movies. His parents wouldn't be back in Smallville til the
end of the week, so there was no early leave for him, and he'd be staying at
school til the end of term with the rest of the stragglers. Braden was flying
to Switzerland in the morning, and Clark was deeply jealous. Originally they
thought they'd see each other on the slopes since the place they were planning
on renting wasn't far from Braden's rented villa, but the lovely snowball
incident had put an end to all that. Braden seemed more disappointed than Clark
expected, but soon turned it into a new way of annoying Clark, by mentioning
how amazing the slopes were at the resort, and giving daily weather reports
about just how much powder the mountain was getting.
Neither had brought up his nighttime activities, and both continued to pretend
it didn't exist. Clark kind of wished he had the courage to mention it, because
even though they'd only known each other a few months, he didn't think it was
like Braden to do that, and in some ways they were probably going through the
same thing.
Clark was due at Lex's room to say his goodbye and finish up the last of their
research before the break. Because he was busy studying for exams they hadn't
really seen much of each other, and Lex was still acting sort of strange
anyway. He headed up the hill towards the faculty housing, checking quickly to
see if the present he bought was still inside his bag. He hoped he liked it—it
wasn't really anything extravagant. Lex mentioned a passion for a comic
character Clark used to love as a kid. He remembered his father getting a
couple of issues signed for him by the artist during a trip to California when
he was 10, and asked their housekeeper if she'd send one of them to school. It
had arrived yesterday. As a joke , also in the box, he included a cookbook his
parent's company put out and nod to his abysmal cooking skills. He just hoped
he appreciated the joke.
Halfway up the hill he felt someone barrel into him followed by a very loud
"FUCK!"
He turned around quickly, alarmed, and there was Braden nursing his shoulder
and staring at him angrily.
"What the hell is your back made of Kent?"
Clark swallowed hard, but stayed calm. "Muscles and bone? Why are you running
into me anyway?"
"Well I was going to knock you down in the snow, but I guess not, geez! Where
you heading?"
"L…Professor Luthor's. I just need to drop of the rest of my research."
Braden rolled his eyes—something he always did whenever he mentioned Lex, and
it was getting annoying.
"Well if you finish by 7 a few of us are sneaking off campus to go get pizza, a
holiday gift to ourselves."
Clark smiled, he was not looking forward to another night of scary meat from
the dining hall. Since it was the last week of school, they'd pretty much given
up trying to prepare anything edible. "Yea, definitely."
"Cool, meet you around the back of our dorms?"
Clark nodded and headed back up the hill. Braden pretended to limp away holding
his shoulder in mock anguish. He'd definitely miss him over break.
===============================================================================
Lex looked at the piles of clothes scattered across his bed surrounded by open
empty suitcases waiting to be filled. He'd decided to spend the holidays in
Paris, and was in a sense, running away. He is expected at his father's home
for the holidays and was to participate in several social functions over the
next couple of weeks to solidify his re-entry to the Luthor world. Ever since
that night his father showed up, he'd been pressuring him almost daily to take
his rightful place at Luthorcorp—well his father didn't pressure, he simply and
calmly insisted, like there was no other option. They argued a long time that
first night, after his father declared how gracious and patient he'd been
allowing Lex to pursue this idiotic profession and now that'd he'd proven his
point, it was time to stop embarrassing him. Lex was so infuriated he could
have punched his father. He had no idea how hard and painful it was to denounce
everything he'd grown up with and find a passion of his own. He felt good when
he stood up in front of his class and earnest eyes looked to him for answers,
he loved that he could have a part in shaping some of the good inside of his
students, and he loved that he had managed to inspire Clark Kent, who'd had the
advantage of being raised by people who believed as he was trying to.
His father had never wanted him to stand on his own. Their whole relationship
was about manipulation and control. Why did he have to be born to such a man?
He sighed heavily and tossed his first sweater into the suitcase. There was a
gentle but sturdy knock on the door and he knew Clark had arrived. He'd been
keeping him at arm's length lately and he knew it was confusing and maybe
hurtful to Clark, but he didn't know what else to do until his feelings
subsided. When he opened the door Clark was standing there grinning with wind-
tousled hair and pink cheeks. He was wearing rumpled jeans and a dark blue
turtleneck sweater with a maroon scarf thrown carelessly around his neck. He
always wore these dark, rich and colorful tones, and it always seemed funny to
him that his backpack was a shocking bright red. He ushered him in quickly so
he wouldn't stand there gazing at him forever.
Clark noticed his suitcase on his bed in the other room.
"When are you leaving?"
"Day after tomorrow. I thought I'd start packing now."
Clark smiled and put his bag down on the sofa. "You're good, I never start
until the last minute, my room is still a complete mess. Are you going to see
your father?"
Lex shook his head. "You want something to drink?"
"No thanks. Where you going?"
Lex poured himself a drink—he probably shouldn't be having wine, but he didn't
care right now. "Paris."
"Oh cool, with who?"
"No one, just a last minute decision."
Clark looked very concerned. "You're spending Christmas by yourself? You can't
do that."
Lex laughed a little. "Its not a big deal, I've done it before. Besides its
hard to have a bad time in Paris, even if you're alone."
Clark went over to his bag and pulled out the present he had for him. "I was
going to give you this, its nothing big, but I want to wait and give it to you
on Christmas Day—if you'll agree to at least spend Christmas with us, you can
go to Paris afterwards."
Lex had to admit he was completely floored by Clark's offer—he really wasn't
expecting that. The extremely kind gesture hit him hard after dealing with so
much animosity from his father, and for a moment he was afraid he'd lose it in
front of Clark. But years of Luthor training dictated he hold it together.
"Clark, there's no way I would impose on you and your family like that, and I'm
sure your parents wouldn't want you dragging home your professor with you."
Clark was growing more enthused by the prospect now, his eyes lit up the way
they always did when he was excited.
"They'd love it! Seriously my family would love to have you. I talk about you
all the time and my Dad really wants so meet you. If it'll make you feel better
I'll call them right now and ask."
"Clark…"
But Clark already had his phone out, punching the number to speed dial his
parents.
Clark stood there smiling and nodding at him as he talked to his mother.
"Mom, guess what? Professor Luthor isn't spending Christmas with his family,
and was going to run off to Paris, but I convinced him to spend Christmas with
us, if that's Ok?"
Clark started nodding emphatically and gave him the thumbs-up that made Lex
laugh. He could look like a big kid sometimes. What he loved most was that he
didn't make it sound like they should take pity on him, that he was the true
winner in the situation. He really did want to meet the people who could
produce such a person.
He closed his phone and beamed. "My mom's excited, so's my dad, he was in the
room and yelled he couldn't wait to meet you. So, do you think you can put off
Paris for just a little bit?"
Lex almost laughed. "Saying no to that face would be like kicking a puppy. I
think Air France can wait another week for my patronage."
Clark's smile broadened, inappropriate or not, he was beyond happy and the week
before the break didn't seem so unbearable now.
"Great. My parents are flying in from the west coast on Friday, then we'll all
drive to Smallville together, and you're welcome to drive come with us, or you
can meet us there."
Lex didn't know if he was ready to spend almost three hours in a car with Clark
and his parents, and he really did need his car.
"I'll meet you there, I'll need my car anyway."
Clark nodded. "Right, I forgot. I'd say you could use my car, except I don't
have one. I was supposed to save my money to help pay for my first car, but I
never managed to by my 16th birthday, so my Dad said I'd have to wait. I still
think its unfair though, everyone else I know has a car."
Lex smiled, only Clark's parents would be so careful not to spoil their son.
"Well, I'm sure you realize that's a valuable lesson."
Clark slightly rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know, its good for me. I'm hoping
they'll let me borrow one of their cars so I can at least show you around and
not make you drive. Of course that'll take all of five minutes."
"I've been to Smallville, its not that bad, at least not what I remember."
"Well, its boring, but its home." He really couldn't stop grinning, he hadn't
been this happy in weeks.
"Oh! The whole reason I came over here. My research. That's everything so far."
He handed Lex a thick pile of papers.
Lex weighed the stack in his hands. "I'll never understand how you get so much
done, you put me to shame, seriously. I'm going to tell your parents what an
amazing help you've been."
Clark shrugged. "Its not that much—anyway, I'd better go, I promised Braden
I'd…" Clark stopped, he almost forgot Lex was a teacher and that he shouldn't
be telling him plans of sneaking off campus.
"..um, sit with him at dinner."
Lex smirked; Clark was really the worst liar. "You'd better go then, dinner is
almost over."
"Um, right, so…I'll see you tomorrow—definitely before Friday. I'm really glad
you decided to come. I promise to try and make it fun for you."
"Don't worry about, I just appreciate being asked. Thank you, Clark."
Clark smiled a little more shyly this time and walked to the door.
"Clark? Have a slice for me Ok?"
Clark turned around and the look of alarm on his face was priceless, he finally
relaxed when he saw Lex's expression of amusement and smiled, relieved.
"Goodnight, Professor."
"Goodnight, Clark."
***** Chapter 12 *****
The landscape of the outlying counties hadn't changed much since he was a kid.
There was still corn, corn and more corn, with the monotony only interrupted by
the occasional new super center or strip mall. He had just entered Lowell
County and was fast approaching Smallville. He wasn't sure what to expect when
he arrived. He'd spoken to Clark that morning, and he sounded excited and there
were dogs barking in the background. He wondered what Clark would be like in
his natural environment.
He admitted he was pretty surprised by the invitation. He and Clark had gotten
close over the semester, spending so much time together, but he hadn't yet
dared to consider them close friends. And now being away from school where the
barriers were down, he wondered if he could trust himself.
The roads were virtually empty and another car hadn't crossed his path in over
20 minutes so he sped up his Porsche, letting it grip the soft asphalt as he
pushed the speedometer towards 90. The Porsche had been his 16th birthday gift
from his father, and the one thing he kept that his father had given him—the
one physical thing anyway. He hadn't told his father he wouldn't be coming to
the Luthor home for the holidays—he didn't see the point, his father wouldn't
hear him anyway. He pressed harder on the accelerator and the fields of corn
became fleeting blurs of gold and green.
His phone jolted him out of his reverie. He pressed a button and Clark's voice
filled the car.
"Are you close, or lost?"
"I'm kind of close, but I'm not lost yet. Someone gave me very detailed
directions." He glanced at Clark's well drawn out map lying on the passenger
seat.
Clark ignored the sarcasm "I know, but it gets tricky once you get off Route 8,
there's not a sign and –"
"Make a right at the road with the abandoned tractor tire, right, got it."
Clark laughed. "Sorry, I guess I did give pretty good directions.
Lex smiled and eased up on the gas "According to my GPS, I'll be there in about
27 minutes."
"Ok, I'll stop bothering you. See you when you get here."
Clark hung up the phone and turned to his mother hovering in the background. He
knew she was standing there listening.
"He says he'll be here in about half an hour."
"Good his room is all ready for him. Are Pete and Chloe coming over?"
Clark purposely didn't call them yet, because he knew; Chloe especially; that
they both would want to come over to check out Lex, and he didn't want to put
him through adolescent scrutiny the moment he arrived.
"No, I told them I'd see them tomorrow."
"Is Lex staying for the New Years Eve party?"
Clark had forgotten all about that—it was the biggest party of the year in
Smallville, not that they had much to compete with; aside from a few summer
barbecues and harvest dances, there wasn't much of a social life in Smallville.
The entire town was invited, and people planned for months what they were
wearing, and it made him just a little more popular in school a couple of
months before the event. It was strange not to be involved in all the pre-
holiday buzz for the first time. Some of his parent's employees had decorated
the main house and farmhouse for them, because they didn't want them to come
home to a cheerless house, but Clark wished they had left it—it was his
favorite part of the holiday, though there was still plenty to be done. The
plan was go out and choose their Christmas tree that night and hopefully Lex
would join them; then he'd drag all the horrible tacky decorations out of the
garage and over-decorate the barn. Usually Pete and Chloe helped with that,
each trying to outdo the other with gaudiness, then they'd enjoy their handy-
work until the season was over. He hoped Lex didn't find all it too childish to
put up with because he didn't see how he could deny Chloe and Pete their yearly
tradition.
"I'm not sure he's staying that long, but I'll invite him."
His mother smiled, she seemed really intrigued by the fact Clark had befriended
his famous professor. "Good, he's welcome of course. I think your Dad wants you
to help him clear the driveway."
Clark could see his Dad outside struggling with the snow blower. He nodded and
grabbed his jacket. He quickly looked at his watch again for the fifth time in
an hour. Lex would be there in less than fifteen minutes.
===============================================================================
Lex wasn't sure what he was expecting when he finally arrived at the Kent farm,
but this wasn't it. Despite Clark's simple demeanor he still half expected some
big stone mansion of the kind he was used to, but instead he saw a small yellow
farmhouse sitting gently on several acres. Clark had already mentioned the
small home was the one his great grandfather had built and where the modest
offices of Natural Earth Foods now resided, but somehow he'd pictured something
larger but no less quaint. He continued past a large barn, or what used to be a
barn, because now it had enclosed doors and glass windows, though it was still
traditional red. The main house was in the distance and Lex thought it perfect
and gorgeous. It was a sprawling craftsman style home, painted sage and trimmed
in natural wood and stone. The windows were large and bright with porches that
traveled along all the outside walls. It was at once impressive and warm, and
very inviting. He pulled his car into the circular driveway and Clark, clad in
a bright red sweater that matched his cheeks came rushing out. He looked like
he just leapt out of a modern Norman Rockwell painting.
Lex stepped out of his car and Clark stopped to admire it for a moment before
pulling him into an affectionate embrace that was over much too quickly. His
parents stood in the doorway, both wearing genuine smiles of welcome. Clark
looked a little embarrassed by his own enthusiasm and lowered his eyes a
little.
"Sorry, I'm just pretty happy to be home, and happy to see you. I'm glad you
got here in one piece. The roads into town were pretty icy."
Lex smiled. "Nothing she couldn't handle."
Clark moved his eyes over the car enviously. "You have to promise to take me
for a ride in it after they salt the roads."
"Of course."
Clark was pulling his bag out of the back before he blinked, and walked towards
the house to his waiting parents. His parents moved inside so they didn't have
to be introduced in the cold air.
Clark ushered Lex in, shut the door and began the introductions, "Mom, Dad,
this is Professor Luthor, and these are my parents."
His father was strikingly handsome, though in a different way than Clark, and
he was just as tall. They seemed younger than he imagined, and his mother was
beautiful with a full head of fiery red hair like his own had been when he was
a kid.
He extended his hand. "Call me Lex, please, and it's an honor to meet both of
you."
His father shook his hand firmly and his mother gave him a hug. "Its wonderful
to finally meet you, Clark has told us so much, and has nothing but amazing
things to say about you."
Lex didn't quite know what to say to that, so he just smiled and said "Thank
you."
"Well why don't you get settled first and then we'll have lunch." His father
affectionately clapped Clark on the back. "Why don't you take Lex's bags and
show him his room?"
Lex tried in vain to protest, saying he could carry his own bags, but Clark was
already two steps ahead of him, bounding towards the stairs. Lex quickly
followed and noticed the stairs led to a sort of bridge overlooking the living
room that connected to the upper level. He stood on the bridge for a moment
where you could truly see the magnificence of the great room below. It was
completely open and expansive, anchored by a huge two-story window and
beautiful vaulted ceilings and natural wood trestles. There was a massive
fireplace at the end of the room that ran up to the high ceilings. The
furniture was simple, with clean lines, but looked very comfortable, and he
could easily imagine Clark's long limbs stretched out on the sofa enjoying the
warmth of the fire.
Clark paused to say hello to two golden retrievers that suddenly appeared on
the landing. Of course, he thought, of course there'd be golden retrievers.
Clark introduced them as Shelby and Shuster. He never had a pet growing up, so
he wasn't sure the proper dog etiquette, but they seem satisfied with him
patting their heads and allowing himself to be sniffed. Clark shooed them away
and led him towards the upstairs rooms. The rooms were connected by another
balcony that overlooked the huge gourmet kitchen below, that amazing smells
were wafting from, reminding him how hungry he was.
Clark nudged him along to the guest room, which in keeping with the rest of the
house, was large and airy and full of light. Clark placed his bag on an
overstuffed chair, and gave him a brief tour.
"I think my Mom chose this one because its nearest to me—I'm across the
hall—and it's the only one with an adjoining bathroom, through there. There's
no TV though, because my Mom hates TVs in bedrooms, though I have one in mine."
Clark seemed much more relaxed at home, and it was Lex's turn to feel out of
sorts. An awkward moment passed between them, and Clark shuffled slightly on
his feet.
"I guess I'll let you get settled. Just come downstairs for lunch when you're
ready, we're probably just eating in the kitchen."
Lex shook his head. "Sorry Clark, just drinking everything in I guess. Your
home is amazing, I can't thank you enough for inviting me."
Clark smiled. "I'm just glad you came, and I hope we don't drive you crazy with
too many Christmas traditions. You can sit out anything you don't feel like
doing, but I hope you'll want to come with us to pick out the tree tonight."
"I've never picked out a tree before, but that sounds wonderful. My father
always had ours delivered with a group of people to custom decorate it."
Clark looked puzzled. "Where's the fun in that?"
"I don't think my father cared much about fun." Lex didn't mean to bring his
issues with his father with him, and tried to lighten the mood.
"I think its just because my mother and father used to argue so much over where
to put the decorations, they decided having a neutral party was best"
Clark smiled weakly and Lex didn't think he believed him, but he gratefully let
it go.
===============================================================================
Lunch was the perfect winter meal—beef stew with potatoes and onions served
over brown rice, with delicious warm fresh baked bread and butter right off
their farm. It was simple and delicious and Lex couldn't remember the last time
he ate so much. Clark had about two bowls, and several helpings of bread—he
really missed his mother's cooking and he didn't think he'd ever get enough.
He'd been nervous about what Lex would think of his family, but so far he
seemed to be enjoying himself. His mother especially was adept at putting
people at ease. After the first awkward moments, Lex seemed to be relaxing.
After lunch Clark wanted to show Lex his barn. It was his favorite place on the
farm; his sanctuary from the outside world. Remodeling the old barn had been
his father's idea and they started the project together on Clark's twelfth
birthday. The project was completed two summers ago, and the plans grew as he
matured. It'd be the one place he looked forward to showing Lex the most and
tried to hide his anxiousness as he led him to the doors.
Lex could see how proud Clark was of the place, even though he tried to act
casual about it. He still didn't know what to expect but he wasn't prepared by
how elaborate the renovation had been. The heavy oak doors were fashioned to
resemble real barn doors, but they opened out instead of sliding. The space was
still one large open room, divided into sections by furniture, throw rugs and a
loft that wrapped around the entire area. The floors were polished maple
squares that were both unique and simple. The walls had been painted and no
doubt insulated since it was pretty warm in there, but still retained the
wooden flats of a barn. There was a flat screen TV at the opposite end of the
room surrounded by overstuffed couches and two gamer chairs propped in front of
the TV with three of the latest console systems. The shelves on either side
were stacked with games and DVDs. When Clark led him up to the loft area, he
knew right away that this was the space he loved the most. Light streamed in
from the huge glass sliding-window that had a well-worn window seat. A
beautiful old oak desk with a gorgeous MAC computer, another couple of couches
and several bookcases completed the space. He could tell Clark spent most of
his time there—it was littered a lot more personal things than the rest of the
barn. Lex noticed an old revolving model of the solar system first—it seemed to
be a theme judging by the posters of the solar system and planets—that sat near
a giant stuffed Shark that said Metropolis Sharks on it. He wandered over to an
intriguing collection of globes that took up 3 whole shelves on one bookcase.
He picked up one of them, "You collect globes?"
Clark looked slightly embarrassed and nodded. "Yeah, I've always had this thing
about astronomy and geography, so every time my parents would travel they'd
bring me a new globe and mark where they'd been on it."
Lex noticed small stickers on the globes now. "I have to say Clark, your
parents are probably some of the most decent people I've ever met. They really
seem to enjoy you."
"Don't all parents enjoy their kids?"
"Not all."
Lex picked up a framed photo of Clark and his father; Clark looked to be about
11 or 12 in the picture and they were both holding big hammers pretending to
show off their muscles.
Clark came and stood beside him. "That was taken right before we hammered the
first nail here—kind of our ground breaking ceremony. I remember my Mom told us
to act like he-men for the picture." Clark was smiling at the memory, but
looked at Lex concerned. Something was obviously wrong, but he didn't want to
push too much.
"Lex…did something happen? You can tell me to shut-up if you want, but
something is obviously wrong."
Lex walked away and sat down on the sofa. "I'm sorry Clark, I guess I don't
hide things as well as I think I do. I had an argument with my father right
before I came here, and its apparently still bothering me."
Clark came and sat next to him. "If you want to talk about it…."
"I don't, not yet anyway, but I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable."
Clark gave him a small smile. "I'm not uncomfortable, just worried, but I
promise I won't bring it up again. If you want to talk about it, I'll listen."
Clark gave his shoulder and affectionate squeeze that sent a shiver down his
spine. Lex knew from experience that when he was upset he tended to do things
he shouldn't—he needed not to be so close to Clark right now. He stood up and
went and sat on the window seat.
"Having your own sanctuary sounds nice."
Clark nodded, thoughtfully, respecting the sudden change in topic. "It is, and
we had fun building it. Oh, do you want a something to drink?"
Lex looked around, he hadn't seen a fridge. "You have a kitchen?"
Clark was on his feet. "Sort of, there's no stove, but a toaster oven and
microwave; its just under the loft."
He followed Clark downstairs and there was a small kitchen with a fridge
stocked with various sodas, juices and bottled water, a large toaster oven and
microwave with a pantry that no doubt housed all the favorite junk food a
teenage boy could want.
"You've thought of everything."
Clark laughed. "You wouldn't believe how hungry and thirsty my friends get when
they hang out here, especially Pete."
"Is Pete your best friend?"
"Yeah, I've known him since I can remember. We've been in school together since
kindergarten. You'll meet him tomorrow if that's OK, and my friend Chloe. They
usually help me decorate the barn for Christmas, its sort of a tradition…but if
you don't want to, I understand."
"Its fine with me Clark, and I don't mind meeting your friends."
"Good, I'll try to make them behave I promise."
Clark handed Lex a bottle of water and they went and sat on the couch in front
of the big screen TV.
Lex nodded at the TV, " You must be the envy of every boy in town with this set
up."
Clark smiled and shrugged a little. "I had to work on our farm all summer to
get that.
My Dad thought it was way too extravagant, but I really wanted one, and before
I left, my friends and I had great times playing video games on the weekends
–not allowed on school nights—or just watching movies. It was worth it."
Clark paused for a minute. "I'm talking to much, which is probably the first
time anyone has been able to say that about me."
Lex laughed, Clark was talking about twice as much as he usually did, but he
was interested in all of it and it didn't seem excessive.
"You're fine Clark, I'm asking a lot of questions."
"I guess I'm a little nervous."
That surprised Lex. "What would you be nervous about?"
Clark's uneasiness always needed a physical outlet and he promptly started
toying with the fabric on the couch, Lex was certain he wasn't aware of it.
"I guess, I just want you to like us…"
Lex almost laughed out loud—he'd have to be the devil himself not to be taken
in by the Kents.
"Clark, whats not to like? Your parents are wonderful; I've always liked you,
and I'm sure I'll like your friends. I even like your dogs and I'm not sure I
even like dogs."
Clark let go of the sofa and smiled. "I can't vouch for my friends, but who
wouldn't like Shuster and Shelby?"
"Exactly, I even like their names. Relax Clark—I'm fully aware its weird to
have your teacher at your home without an assignment between you."
Clark looked over at Lex thoughtfully. "True…but I honestly do think of you as
a friend—if that's OK. Its feels Ok…"
Lex leaned forward a little, looking him directly in the eyes. "It is, your
friendship is the thing I'm most happy about since coming to Excelsior."
Clark smiled and held his gaze, and a strange moment passed between them that
Clark couldn't quite define, he looked away quickly, hoping Lex didn't notice.
He stood up abruptly.
"Well, my parents are probably ready to head out to look for a tree—we need to
go before it starts to get dark."
Clark started towards the door, and Lex got up slowly. Whatever minor thing
that just happened between them couldn't be good, and Lex thought he should
find an excuse to leave; some emergency, but that would be extremely rude and
nothing was worse doing that to them. So he silently followed Clark outside
determined to strengthen his resolve to have a nice, uneventful Christmas.
***** Chapter 13 *****
The sun had barely appeared in the sky when Clark awoke the next morning. He'd
had this weird habit of waking up at the crack of dawn on Christmas Eve since
he was a kid. In some ways he preferred the day before Christmas to the main
event. Christmas was fun in the morning, but then there was the cavalcade of
neighbors and friends coming by the house all day and well into evening. Then
they'd have this big Christmas dinner for 30 or so guests, by the time dinner
was over Clark was usually ready to retreat to the barn for some quiet and
solitude. He hoped all the festivities wouldn't overwhelm Lex, but he imagined
he was used to excessive entertaining. Christmas Eve was traditionally just the
family and one or two close friends. They usually spent the day cooking and
eating—he and his father doing most of the eating, and maybe watching Christmas
movies or sports. He could already smell the first batch of sugar cookies
baking downstairs. He smiled and sat up slowly in bed; he almost wished he'd
never have to return to Excelsior.
He and Lex had gone to bed late, so he decided to bypass the guest room and let
him sleep in. They'd stayed up in the barn playing video games and talking
after Chloe had finally gone home. Their meeting had gone as well as could be
expected. Chloe of course asked him for an exclusive for the school paper
(which he knew she would immediately try and shop around to the Daily Planet)
and Lex turned her down politely, not seeming that put out by the suggestion to
Clark's relief. Once they were all inside the barn and he and his father had
gotten the gigantic tree standing, everyone began to relax. Clark had been on
edge since the small incident at the tree farm.
It seemed like the entire town was out that night looking for the perfect tree.
The area was littered with Dad's wielding axes and kids running around having
snowball fights. As they hadn't been in town in months, several neighbors
descended upon the whole family as soon as they parked the car. Clark
introduced Lex as his professor visiting for the holidays to everyone who'd
stared long enough to warrant an introduction. The name "Luthor" didn't go
unnoticed by anyone, though they did their best to hide their surprise. After
several handshakes Clark mercifully steered them away from the crowd.
While his parents entertained the neighbors and looked for a tree for the main
house, he and Lex set off to find one for the barn. After 20 minutes of
searching, Clark finally spotted the perfect tree—at 15 foot Fraser Fir—in his
excitement he swung the axe with almost his full force and the tree was felled
with one smooth motion, nearly falling on a surprised Lex. Clark moved a little
too quickly and pulled him out of the way and for the rest of the evening he
worried whether Lex had noticed or not. Chloe's presence and boxes full of
gaudy decorations had distracted him for a while, but it was there, lurking in
the back of his mind, causing him to constantly search Lex's face for any
evidence that he was looking at him differently.
But today, as the inviting smell of warm sugar wafted through the house,
nothing would dampen his mood.
===============================================================================
 
Clark ran down the back staircase stopping at the tray of cookies his mother
had just taken out of the oven.
"Don't you dare."
When she looked again there were 2 cookies missing and Clark was licking the
last of the crumbs off his lips.
"Clark! You haven't had breakfast yet."
He smiled brightly. "Cookies for breakfast sound good to me." He reached for
another.
"Clark if you touch another cookie I'll forget about making cinnamon waffles
this morning."
He immediately stepped away from the tray. His mother hit him with a dishtowel
and laughed.
"Did you guys have fun last night?"
He pushed the tray further away from him to avoid temptation. "Yeah, I think
Lex enjoyed it. Chloe talked a lot, but that's normal, and she managed not to
give Lex the third degree about his life."
"What about Pete? Did he get along with Lex?"
"Pete couldn't come; he was grounded, something about sneaking into a bar with
his older brothers."
Martha shook her head. "I hope Pete doesn't try and talk you into sneaking into
a bar."
Clark shrugged. "It doesn't matter anyway, I can't get drunk."
His mother eyed him suspiciously. "And how do you know that?"
He suddenly became very interested in the marble counter. "Um…well I'm just
guessing…I mean it makes sense…"
His mother raised an eyebrow. "Just guessing huh?" But she gratefully let it go
and went back to preparing the waffle batter.
Lex stood on the walkway above the kitchen watching the scene below. He laughed
a little at Clark inadvertently admitting to underage drinking in front of his
mother, though he was curious why he was unable to get drunk. Maybe it had
something to do with what happened in the woods the night before. No boy of 16
no matter how tall and broad should be able to chop down a tree with one
swing—no full-grown man either for that matter. And how he moved—so quick that
the wind stirred around them. It reminded him of the day he first saw Clark in
the fields outside of school. He'd spotted him for a brief second and suddenly
he was gone. Everyone knew of the rumors of the strange things that went on in
Smallville—about how bizarre some of its citizens were, and he wondered if
Clark was among them. Not that he cared, he really didn't. He liked Clark a
great deal; almost too much, and that's all he cared about.
Hanging out with him and Chloe had been firm slap back into reality. Just
seeing Clark giggle and tease Chloe, whom he was completely relaxed around,
unlike his friends at Excelsior, brought home just how young Clark really was.
Lex had fun with them, but he admitted to being a little bored decorating the
barn eventually, while Clark and Chloe entertained themselves with finding new
excuses to throw garland at each other, and overindulge in pizza.
But when it was just the two of them later in the evening, Clark showed a side
of himself that maybe even Chloe wasn't privy too. Clark was sober, but warm
and at ease with him, and they could talk for hours without noticing the time
passing. In those moments he forgot that Clark was a 16yr old kid, just a very
close friend. They'd lazily played his Playstation, neither one trying very
hard at winning, while Clark sat close to him with long legs stretched out
across the ottoman. Any anxiety Clark felt earlier after the tree farm seemed
to be long gone. Lex knew that if Clark was a 21-yr old guy he'd just met,
there'd be no question where the evening would have ended up, but his age and
the fact that he was his student made things too complicated. Lex sighed,
watching Clark move around the kitchen in a t-shirt and loose sweatpants. He
pushed all annoying thoughts out of his head and went down and joined them.
===============================================================================
Clark led the way to the horse stables after a generous breakfast of way too
many waffles, fruit, and biscuits slathered in honey and butter. Breakfast was
awkward at first with Lex being too formal and his parents being overly
friendly, but eventually they'd all relaxed and talked with ease. He really
wanted his parents to like Lex, though he couldn't be sure why. He thought it
would somehow benefit Lex to have someone like his parents to depend on,
because his own family seemed something out of a Dickens nightmare.
Since his parents declared driving around in the Porsche on the still icy roads
out of the question, Clark decided a good way to see their land and some of
Smallville was on horseback. Pretty much every boy who went to prep school near
Metropolis knew how to ride, so he thought it was a safe bet Lex could handle
himself on a horse. He gave Lex his pick, and Clark saddled both.
"They're Western, is that Ok?"
Lex nodded. "My family had a ranch in Wyoming for a while, when it was
fashionable. I'm pretty sure my father was just looking for oil, when he didn't
find it, he sold the place."
Lex said it lightly, and Clark tried to smile unsuccessfully. "Lex…was your
father as terrible as they say?"
Lex wished now he hadn't said anything, but the contrast between his family and
the Kents was too sharp and it brought back old pains he thought were long
buried.
He nodded slowly, "I'm sorry to keep bringing him up—I can't seem to help it."
"No, its Ok, and you don't always have to make a joke about it. My Dad always
says 'better out than in', so if you ever want to vent, I'll listen."
Lex nodded, avoiding direct eye contact. "Thanks Clark, I appreciate it."
They headed over the land towards Burnham woods. He watched Lex closely on the
descent down to the river, fearful of a repeat of what happened back at school
with Eddie. But Lex made it down without incident, and the stopped to let the
horses drink from a small break in the icy lake. They sat on a large boulder
along the bank, just drinking in the surroundings.
"I never realized Smallville was so beautiful."
Clark nodded. "I guess I've taken it for granted too, but being away from it so
long—its suddenly feels like the best place on earth. I mean I've been all over
the place, even overseas, but I like it here best—kinda lame huh?"
"No, it just means you have a place that really feels like home, not everyone
has that."
Clark didn't say anything for a moment, letting the silence just hang in the
air. There was so much more he wanted to know about Lex, but he seemed to be
surrounded in this impenetrable mystery.
"You don't have any place you think of as home?"
"Not really, the Luthor home was too formal to feel much like a real home, even
when my mother was alive, but who knows, maybe one day I'll find that place."
Clark looked at him sympathetically. "You can always borrow mine, seriously,
you're welcome here anytime."
Lex leaned back on the rock, looking up towards the tip of the evergreens that
surrounded them. "Thanks, you're a good friend."
Clark looked away, mumbling "Not always."
"What do you mean?"
He wasn't sure why his mood suddenly darkened; maybe it was being reminded of
the incident with Eddie when he'd pushed all thoughts of Excelsior out of his
mind for the past 48 hours.
"Sorry…I was just thinking about school and the mistakes I've made with people
there."
Lex wasn't sure where this was coming from, but he sensed Clark wanted to talk
to him about something even before the holidays.
"What do you mean?"
"I guess it's new for me…having trouble making friends. I mean I consider
Braden my friend, but he's my roommate…and I don't know if I've made any real
effort to make any other friends, and the first term is already over."
"Clark, they haven't exactly made it easy for you, and most of them have been
together since 6th grade, it's hard being the new kid."
"Maybe…"
Lex leaned forward to look at Clark.
"Clark, what's really bothering you? Because you don't seem the type to worry
about how many friends you have."
Clark's throat went dry—this was it, he could finally say it out loud, get it
out of his head so it would stop torturing him—but what if it just brought up a
whole new set of problems? What if Lex didn't understand the way he needed him
to?
He glanced at Lex, but the words wouldn't come. Instead he shrugged. "I don't
know…Braden was going through some stuff, and I wish I could have been there
for him more…"
"Anything serious?"
"I don't know, maybe—I mean nothing dangerous, just…I guess I understand what
its like to be afraid of what you are, or what you think you are—and maybe I
could have helped him somehow…but I don't even really know if I can help
myself."
Lex took a deep breath, he immediately flashed back to that night when he came
upon Clark and Braden in the woods, and had a pretty good idea what was
torturing Clark.
"You told me your father said "better out than in", that invitation to vent
goes both ways."
Clark stared at the frozen lake, avoiding his eyes, and Lex watched his cheeks
color with obvious discomfort.
"I just…I have some questions about my…sexuality."
Clark waited for the earth to open beneath his feet or the sky to swallow him
whole, but the only thing that stirred was the wind in the trees and a hawk
somewhere off in the distance. More importantly Lex didn't jump to his feet to
get away from him as quickly as possible. He remained a quiet presence that
provided him with safety net he needed.
When Lex finally answered, he spoke slowly, looking directly at him. "Clark,
all I know is 16 is a tricky age. You'll go through a lot of feelings, some so
strong you think they're a permanent part of who you are, but trust me, nothing
is set in stone right now, so I'd be careful about jumping to any conclusions
no matter now concrete the evidence might seem."
Clark looked at him hopefully, though the burden he carried around was clearly
etched on his face.
"..But if whatever you fear turns out to be true, you'll still be you, and I
think everyone who knows and loves you, won't think of you any differently. I
know I wouldn't."
He tried to smile. "Thanks Lex…" He ran his hand through his hair roughly.
"God…all I need is another thing about me to be different."
He knew Clark probably hadn't meant to say that and he decided not to
acknowledge the implications.
"There's nothing wrong with being different Clark, I mean you don't get much
more different than me, and somehow I survived."
Clark looked at him warmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "That's probably
why I like you so much."
The warmth quickly faded and distress again took over his features. Clark tried
his best to shake it off; he could feel his emotions pushing to the surface,
and he didn't want to lose it in front of Lex. He wondered when he'd have
control again—his moods were all over the place lately, though he hadn't felt
like this since he'd come back to Smallville. He looked down at the frozen
ground, but Lex must have seen his eyes because he suddenly pulled him into a
rough hug.
Clark welcomed the embrace, and Lex allowed himself this one intimacy because
he knew Clark needed it—so he told himself. He whispered with as much
conviction as he could that "It would be Ok."
Clark relaxed a little in his arms and he could tell Clark didn't completely
let go, but he hoped he helped in some way. When Clark finally pulled away, his
eyes were still full of unshed tears, but he gave Lex a small smile and
whispered 'thank you'. They were inches away from each other and Lex knew he
should move, but he could feel Clark's warm breath against his skin and it
would have taken two armies to get him to turn away. He reached over and
brushed back a mass of curls that had fallen across his forehead. Clark didn't
even flinch and Lex inched closer. For a moment Clark thought maybe he had
misinterpreted his feelings for Lex…maybe he considered him more than a friend,
so when Lex's lips touched his, he didn't move away, but leaned forward,
curious, while a small pool of heat settled in his abdomen. It felt—strange and
not like kissing a girl. It was rougher and clumsier, but somehow nice. Lex
pulled away first; abruptly, standing up quickly.
If he had hair on his head he would have ripped it out in frustration.
"My God, Clark, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean…"
Clark himself had snapped back to reality and sat in stunned silence, his whole
head was buzzing and his heart seemed bound loudly in his ears, almost drowning
out Lex's rattling apologies. It was the first time he'd ever really seen Lex
unhinged and he almost found it funny. So he laughed—what was the expression?
'laugh to keep from crying'.
The sound stopped Lex dead in his tracks. "Clark…what are you..? This isn't
funny—what I did…"
Clark looked up at him, but he was no longer smiling. "No, I guess it isn't
funny. I don't know what it is. Why does everything have to be so confusing?"
"No, Clark, its my fault, I shouldn't have done that."
Clark didn't know what to say—he didn't understand why Lex did it, or what it
meant, but refused to let him feel bad.
"I didn't mind. I think I wanted to, I mean I was curious what it'd be like.
I'm just glad it was you and not someone else who would have punched me or
something."
Lex looked at him incredulously, mentally packing his bags and making plans for
a hasty exit.
"Clark, you are 16, and my student, what I just allowed to happen isn't right."
He knew if he didn't make some sort of gesture, all of this would end badly so,
he stood up and walked over to Lex, touching his arm gently to stop him from
pacing.
"Please don't be upset. I know how old I am, and its not like you're some 50 yr
old pervert. We're friends—before student, teacher, anything else, we're
friends, and this isn't school. You were just trying to make me feel better…its
Ok, I promise. We never have to mention it again."
Lex just stared at Clark. He expected a lot of reactions when the moment came
when he finally forgot himself—but not this. Clark didn't hate him, or try to
hit him, or threaten to have his parents call the Dean. He just stood there
smiling like it was just a simple occurrence between friends.
"Are you sure about this? Because I'd understand if you wanted me to leave."
Clark nodded. "I think you're making too big a deal out of this. Trust me, I've
had way more embarrassing situations than this. I want you to stay."
He was no doubt referring to his 'moment' with Braden in the woods, and Lex was
immediately relieved, but it didn't mean he felt he could take things further,
if anything he now had to be extra careful around Clark.
"Its getting dark, we should probably get the horses back, and its almost time
for dinner anyway."
They both mounted the horses, and Clark led the way out of the forest and the
sun began to slip beneath the trees.
***** Chapter 14 *****
Christmas Eve dinner that night was as impressive as any holiday dinner at the
governor's mansion. There was a long table set up in the formal dining room—an
expansive room towards the back of the house that was surrounded by large
windows, so you had the feeling you were almost floating on the snow. The
effect was beautiful; the candles shimmered against the glass and the fireplace
at the end of the room glowed in the dim light. There were 28 guests and the
food overflowed onto long sideboards against the far wall. Most of the dishes
were catered, but Mrs. Kent herself had made all the pies and the 3 large
turkeys.
The minute they returned to the house they were both doled out duties in quick
succession. Mr. Kent looked at Lex sympathetically and said, "Don't ask
questions just do as she asks, or the consequences will be dire." Which got him
whacked in the head with a potholder by a passing Mrs. Kent. Clark just laughed
and pulled Lex into the kitchen to assist him in cutting fruit for too many
pies. They were taken off pie duty when Mrs. Kent noticed Clark was eating more
blueberries and apples than were going in the pies. There was still a lot to be
done that afternoon so they were steered towards the great room—there were
garlands to rearrange, floors to sweep and lights to be strung along the
banisters.
Lex had never witnessed a true Rockwellian Christmas before and he had to admit
he enjoyed every minute of it. The formalities were gone and Mrs. Kent was
ordering him around like he was part of the family, and he and Clark shared
rolled eyed glances and laughter as they helped turn the Kent home into a
Christmas spectacular even Martha Stewart would envy.
About an hour before the guests arrived, Clark pulled him upstairs to change,
telling him he hoped he had something red in there, because his mother was very
insistent they wear Christmas colors. All Clark seemed to wear was red and
blue, so he knew he'd have no problem producing something appropriate, but
Lex's wardrobe rarely ventured beyond black and deep maroons. Clark studied his
suitcase with concern.
"Maybe you can borrow something of mine."
Lex laughed. "That'd be great except you're a lot broader than me and taller by
at least 3 inches, besides, bright colors don't really go with pale skin."
Clark held his own red sweater against Lex and made a face. "Well, maybe my
mother won't care if you wear your own stuff."
Lex snatched the sweater out of his hand and hit him with it. Clark laughed and
headed off to his room, he guessed to put on a sweater with light up reindeer
antlers or something. Lex ended up choosing a dark gray shirt that shimmered
enough in the right light to be called festive and black pants. When Clark
emerged he wasn't wearing one of those irritating Christmas sweater but a very
tasteful deep red turtleneck and black thinly corded pants. The red made his
eyes look almost blue and played up the natural blush of his cheeks—he looked
gorgeous, and definitely not like a 16 yr old boy. When Clark walked back into
his room, Lex had to busy himself with putting his clothes away to keep from
staring.
"I think Mom wants us downstairs for finishing touches." Clark took in Lex's
outfit. "I think she will approve, its sort of silver."
"I hope so, I wouldn't want to incur the wrath of Martha Kent."
===============================================================================
The house looked amazing and Mrs. Kent went around adjusting garland and
ribbons adorning every conceivable space, which somehow looked elegant and not
gaudy. She looked beautiful in a red silk damask suit, which made her hair look
like a glorious flame a top her head. Her husband soon emerged wearing a dark
suit and a green silk tie looking as tall and handsome as his son. They really
were a ridiculously stunning family.
After the guests arrived, the evening was in full swing, and music seemed to
float out of the walls. Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres were served in the great
room and in the heated sunroom, whose ceiling was adorned with fairy lights and
pine garland making it look like the forest sky at night.
Once the party started and all the activity of the day was done Clark felt the
mood he'd conjured to make Lex feel better slipping away. He tried his best to
smile at all the people who said how good it was to see him, or how tall he'd
gotten. He left Lex on his own, though he knew it was probably rude of him, but
he wasn't sure if he could concentrate on being as cheerful as he needed to be
with Lex around, and he saw that people approached him eagerly and he seemed to
be handling himself well. Its not like people in Smallville were as vicious as
he knew people in Metropolis could be.
Lex mingled with the guests, occasionally talking to Mr. Kent, relating to him
finally that they'd met before, the day of the meteor shower, though he didn't
remember much about it, only that he liked him then and it was the one pleasant
memory of the day. He watched Clark move through the crowd with a bright, very
fake smile planted on his face and he knew he was avoiding him. He imagined the
events of earlier were finally sinking in, and he braced himself for Clark's
true reaction when the time came.
As the evening wore on, the champagne started to flow and most guest finally
left him alone, Clark seized his opportunity and slipped out on the back porch
to get some air. He really wished Pete and Chloe had been able to come, but
Chloe's Dad decided they would spend the holidays visiting relatives in
Metropolis, and Pete's family was so large they kept their holiday celebrations
within the immediate family. He really could have used the distraction.
Anything to keep him from dwelling on the events earlier in the day would have
been appreciated. So Lex had kissed him—Professor Luthor had kissed him, and
he'd allowed it and maybe welcomed it. The event shook him a lot more than he
let on. Was it a firm confirmation that he was attracted to boys? Who did he
believe—his brain or his body? He wished he could know for certain, but Lex's
speech about not trusting his actions and desires right now only confused him
more. He had no idea if what he felt was passion—it had only felt different and
not unpleasant.
Why had he never noticed Lex was attracted to him? More than anything, he hated
that all of Braden's hints and warnings had been correct. Still, he wasn't
angry or scared, he trusted Lex. Whether that was foolish he didn't know, but
he had no desire to end their friendship or make Lex feel like a criminal.
There were too many layers to this situation that bothered him, and he didn't
know on what level the mere fact that Lex kissed him fell. More important than
anything he wanted to know the truth, and at some point it had to become clear
whether or not he was truly attracted to boys, and maybe Lex could help him
discover that.
"Clark?"
Clark turned around; his Dad was standing in the doorway.
"Guests are starting to head out, why don't you come in and say goodbye."
He nodded and started towards the door.
"Clark, you ok?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well you just disappeared and left Lex on his own, I known he's a grown man,
but that's not like you."
Parents never miss anything.
"I'm sorry…I just wanted some air, and he seemed fine." He wished for once he
could use the common human excuse of "I'm tired."
His father stood aside beckoning him in. "Still, there's no reason to be rude,
son. Come inside. "
Clark, looking dejected, followed, but his father grabbed his shoulder and said
directly into his ear.
"Once the guests are gone, we have something that will cheer you up."
Clark looked puzzled, but went to find Lex.
Lex looked to be in a deep uncomfortable conversation with Mrs. Lillard. The
minute he saw Clark, he looked like he'd just been thrown a life preserver.
Clark laughed a little and approached Mrs. Lillard, who immediately lit up when
she saw him, and Lex was free to move on. After the last person was ushered out
the door and the caterers began to clear up, his parents sat heavily on the
couch, tired but beaming at what a success the evening had been. Clark and Lex
were in the kitchen picking at leftovers while the catering crew swathed
everything in aluminum foil and plastic wrap.
"I'm sorry I abandoned you."
Lex swallowed the last bite of a mini-crab cake. "I didn't even notice. I've
been to many parties Clark, I didn't expect you to stay glued to my hip, and
your parent's friends are perfectly nice."
The truth was Lex suspected that despite his brave face earlier in the evening,
Clark was avoiding him. He knew it was only a matter of time before everything
sunk in. Even now Clark was far from relaxed and a little fidgety.
"Still, I was a bad host, so I'm sorry."
Lex nodded. "Apology accepted."
Clark's father calling from the other room broke the growing tension. They both
walked into the great room to find his father standing there looking at them
with controlled excitement, and he was trying unsuccessfully to keep a smile
off his face. Something was obviously up.
"Clark, could you and Lex take the leftovers out to the garage? I want to pack
up the truck and take the food over to the shelter tonight."
"Even those little chocolate cake things?"
"Clark…"
He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Sure Dad….why are you looking like that?"
"What? Oh no reason…I mean like what?"
Clark shook his head thinking maybe his father had one glass of champagne too
many and headed back to the kitchen. When he and Lex opened the garage door
with arms laden with tins of food, Clark nearly dropped his load when he saw
what was parked inside. The whole house shook with his very loud exclamation.
"Holy Shit!!..Oh God! Sorry, sorry!!"
Lex burst out with a rare laugh because Clark looked so excited he thought he
was going to explode. He ran over to the brand new red Ford Expedition with the
big blue bow on its roof practically leaping.
His parents were already in the doorway but they both were laughing and shaking
their heads. The minute he saw them he ran over and gave them bear hugs,
kisses, and "I love yous."
His father handed the keys over to him. "I know its not quite midnight, but we
couldn't wait."
"I don't believe it! You said I had to work another summer to get a car."
His mother was laughing now. "Your father and I decided that it's been a rough
few months and we thought you deserved something extra special this year."
He looked over at Lex with a grin that lit up his entire face—it was
infectious. "Don't I have the best parents ever?"
Lex had to agree. "You going to test drive it or not?"
He looked back at his parents for permission and his mother nodded. "Just don't
stay out too late and be careful on the roads."
He motioned for Lex to hop in the passenger seat, and started beaming again
when he discovered the car had a push-button start.
"Oh man, Pete is going to die when he sees this!"
===============================================================================
They barely got down the driveway before Clark started excitedly exclaiming
every time he discovered a new feature on the car. Even Lex was impressed by
the built in navigation screen and dvd players. Apparently the Kents spared no
expense. Clark was still smiling as they drove along route 8, and Lex was
grateful he could just share in Clark's elation and not worry about anything
else for the moment.
He thought back to his first car and wondered if he'd been anywhere near as
happy as Clark was. He remembered thinking he should be—how many 16 yr olds
owned a Porsche; a vintage model at that. But his father hadn't even been there
when he received it. There'd been no bow or fanfare, just a note attached to a
set of keys along side his breakfast that morning, saying how sorry he was he
would be out of town on his birthday, but he was certain his present would more
than make up for it. His birthday had fallen on a Saturday that year and he was
home from Excelsior to celebrate, but he ended up taking the car out alone for
a dangerous spin alone, returning later to cut the cake with the maid and
sneaking a bottle of his father's best scotch into his room, which he paid for
dearly the next time he came home. The Porsche had at least scored him some
points at school, making his life a bit more tolerable for a couple of weeks.
"I guess we should head back, you must be tired."
It took him a moment to realize Clark was talking to him. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I'm going to head back."
"Drive as long and far as you want I'm fine. These seats are actually very
comfortable."
Clark smiled again. "I know, I can't believe they got the leather seats. I
can't believe they got this car, I never thought in a million years they would.
I mean its what I wanted, even though I thought they would insist on a
hybrid—and I thought I'd have to work until I graduated college to afford it.
My Dad said he would match whatever I made, but I'm nowhere near covering half
of what this cost. And he got it fully loaded!"
"Maybe they just wanted to see you happy."
"Maybe…I guess in some way they feel bad about sending me away to school, but I
insisted, so I hope they're not feeling too guilty. Anyway, this makes up for
not being to go skiing over New Years."
"You were going skiing."
Clark nodded. "Yeah, in Aspen; it was a surprise for Chloe and Pete too. My
parents were even renting us a place of our own next to theirs. I was really
looking forward to it, but then I slammed Jesse with the snowball…and that was
the end of that."
"That's too bad, I mean it wasn't really your fault."
Clark turned the truck towards Main Street, smiling as it shifted gears and
guided effortlessly.
"Yeah, but it was—I get that now, though at the time I was really angry and
thinking how unfair it was, but the truth is, I didn't have to retaliate, I
could have walked away."
Lex looked a little surprised. "Then you're mature beyond your years. I'm glad
you hit him personally; someone needed to."
Clark smiled but didn't' say anything and they rode in silence for a while, as
he passed all the dark windows along main street illuminated by colorful lights
and blinking signs wishing everyone 'Merry Christmas'.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?"
Clark glanced at Lex but shook his head, "Not really."
"Normally I'd respect your wishes, but I honestly think we should. I crossed a
line I shouldn't have crossed and I'm sorry."
Clark steered the car over to the curb and cut the engine. He really didn't
want to talk about it, but he knew they should or it'd be this thing wedged
between them and they'd have to pretend their way around it.
"You wanted to kiss me?"
Lex wasn't sure if he was prepared to answer that, but he nodded. "Yes, for
some time."
"You never said anything…"
Lex sighed and shivered slightly, which made Clark turn the battery on in the
car so the heat would work.
"Thanks…no, I didn't because I was too bothered by even thinking it, and I
fully intended to control my actions…so I'm sorry Clark, I really am, I hope
you can forgive me."
"So you're attracted to me?"
Lex nodded, he could feel the air restricting around him; he never wanted to
have this conversation with Clark. He always intended to suffer in silence
until he graduated, but now his own inability to ignore what he really wanted
had caused a huge problem.
Clark leaned back in the chair, looking straight ahead at the road. It'd
started to snow again. He didn't speak for a moment, because he wanted to
understand how he felt about what Lex did. He thought he should be scared, hurt
or outraged, but he was none of those things. At that moment all he felt was
compassion for Lex and a little confused.
"I meant what I said when it happened. It really is Ok, but you can beat
yourself up if you want. Everyone does things they don't intend to. It happens,
and I'm fine—not scarred for life or anything." Clark turned to him and smiled.
"Clark you don't have to make me feel better, I want to know how you really
feel."
His smile faded quickly, but he turned back to face him. "The truth is, I'm not
sure, but I know I'm not angry or upset…just a little confused…but there's part
of me that isn't, and maybe I'm not ready to face that part yet. What I do know
is I like you and respect you and that hasn't changed."
Lex felt a surge of emotion he hadn't felt in a very long time and he quickly
suppressed it.
When he trusted his voice he finally spoke. "Thank you Clark, it means a lot."
Clark nodded with a gentle smile before putting the car back into drive and
heading home.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Lex wrapped the fleece throw tighter around himself. He should have put his
coat on; he'd underestimated the stifling chill of an early morning in Kansas.
The sun was just peaking over the horizon and sky was a deep azure with a pink
and orange fissure cracking its surface. He'd given up on sleeping about an
hour before and ventured onto the small balcony off the long hallway upstairs,
not far from his room.
Underneath the blanket, his hands were shoved deep in his pockets, straining
the fabric. All the tension he'd felt over the last 48 hrs seemed to culminate
in his fingers causing him to grip the cell phone in his pocket with almost
crushing force. His face remained calm; his body remained perfectly still as he
watched the land come to life under the lightening sky. It could be supposed
the reason for his anxiety was housed in his phone. If he turned it on he'd see
the message in large text flashing across his screen that he had three
messages—all from his father. His father was methodical even in the simple task
of harassing his son. The calls were spaced out in three hour intervals, so by
the 3rd call, Lex felt the anxiety as the time approached for the next call,
though he refused to turn on his phone. When they arrived back out the house,
he checked his messages. And there was that tone he hated so much. That voice
as smooth an calm as an executioners—each polite word a veiled threat. He had
no choice but to return his call before the day was over. He finally let the
phone slip from his hand. Lionel Luthor could wait.
He went back inside, walking towards the strong aroma of coffee brewing in the
kitchen as quietly as he could, passing Clark's door that sat slightly afar. He
went to close it but paused caught by the sight of Clark sprawled on his
stomach across his bed, clad in only plaid boxers with the covers pushed off.
His legs were covered by a mass of dark blonde fur—he didn't know if it was
Shuster or Shelby, while the other dog slept curled on a rug by the side of the
bed. None of them stirred as he lingered in the doorway taking in the expanse
of smooth skin and muscles that moved gently with each deep breath he took. His
face looked soft and young beneath his mop of dark hair and it amazed Lex how
someone who was always so careful in his waking hours could look so peaceful
while he slept. Lex shook his head—this infatuation needed to end and standing
there watching him sleep wouldn't help. Clark stirred and readjusted his head
on the pillow, and Lex tore himself away shutting the door quietly behind him.
===============================================================================
Clark awoke to the smell of cinnamon waffles and maple butter—that sweet scent
of so many Christmas mornings wafted under his door causing a slow, drowsy
smile to spread across his face. Christmas was his absolute favorite holiday; a
complete cliché but he loved it. Christmas Day was particularly special because
it usually involved just his family and closest friends. Both his parents were
only children, and his Dad's parents died long before he came along, and his
only grandfather was estranged from the family depending on whether or not he
was fighting with his father.
Grandfather Clark from what he'd gathered over the years didn't approve of his
mother marrying a hick farmer from a small town. And even when his Dad proved
to be more than just a farmer, William Clark attributed their success to his
mother's business acumen and thought his father was simply riding on her
coattails, which of course infuriated him. He hadn't seen his grandfather since
his 13th birthday and judging by the last heated argument he'd overheard, he
might not see him for a very long time. But the three of them with the
occasional friend or neighbor thrown in had always been enough to make a
memorable Christmas.
That's what he was going to focus on today, just enjoying the holiday, and he
hoped the talk he had with Lex the night before settled a few things and any
awkwardness would pass. He was genuinely happy Lex was there to share Christmas
with them and he didn't want to ruin it.
He hopped out of bed followed quickly by Shuster, and Shelby who was already
waiting patiently by the bed. He reached down and ruffled their fur
affectionately then disappeared for a split second to grab his red Smallville-
High track pants from the closet. He slipped a white tee over his head and led
them out the door.
To his surprise, Lex was already sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and
chatting with his mother, who was fully dressed in bright Christmas green and
moving around the kitchen preparing breakfast. She smiled brightly when she saw
him enter the room with dogs in tow.
"Merry Christmas sleepy head. I was just about to send Lex upstairs to wake
you; its almost 8:30."
He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, thanks for
letting me sleep in."
"Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes."
Clark quickly fed the dogs, setting their red and green bowls on the floor—his
mother's Christmas décor knew no limits.
Clark grabbed some coffee and joined Lex at the kitchen island, nudging him
gently with his elbow.
"Merry Christmas and thanks for showing me up by getting up before me. You
sleep Ok?"
"Yeah, I'm just used to getting up insanely early I guess; you on the other
hand…"
Clark looked at him pointedly, glancing quickly at his mother. "I've only been
late for your class twice."
His mother placed a plate of warm sugar cookies shaped like Christmas trees and
snowmen in front of them.
"Clark, do you mean to tell me your chronic tardiness has followed you to
Excelsior?"
"I'm not a morning person."
His mother shook her head. "One day you're going to have a boss who isn't going
to care about you not being a morning person. And don't roll your eyes if you
expect to be able to open a single present under that tree."
Clark looked up sheepishly. "I know Mom, sorry."
Lex gave him a sympathetic look, but Clark only glared at him evilly and downed
his coffee in one long gulp.
Lex looked alarmed, "Clark! Isn't that hot?!"
Clark looked positively stricken and Lex thought he saw all the color drain
from his face.
"I…um..no, I mean its not hot…it had cooled off.."
His mother, who looked equally pale suddenly, choked out a beat too late.
"Honey are you Ok?"
Clark nodded blankly fighting to regain his composure. Lex wasn't sure what
just happened because a second earlier he could still see hot steam billowing
from his cup, but he knew it had something to do with what happened back at
school and the incident involving cutting down the Christmas tree.
Clark got up quickly and put his cup in the sink, wishing his pulse would slow
down. He could be so careless sometimes. How could he just forget? He'd become
so comfortable with Lex he'd let his guard down, something he knew he should
never do, not even with his closest friends. Maybe he was making too much of
it; he was certainly creating more suspicion. Besides, Lex wasn't the enemy; he
needed to calm down. He turned and smiled feebly at Lex and grabbed a cookie
off the plate, rejoining him at the counter.
Lex looked at both of them oddly, but said nothing. After several minutes, his
mother was the first to break the tension.
"Clark, could you and Lex set the table for breakfast? The plates are in the
sideboard."
"Sure Mom." Clark jumped up immediately, and Lex followed.
Clark began pulling white plates covered in holly and cranberries onto the
table, avoiding Lex's steady gaze.
"Clark, are you sure you're Ok?"
He nodded, "I'm fine"
Lex took a plate out of his hand and lowered his voice. "But, how could you not
burn your throat? That coffee was piping hot."
Clark looked at him calmly, but Lex could see a pleading his eyes. "It really
wasn't, I swear, or I'm just used to drinking really hot coffee."
Lex could see Clark wanted him to drop it, so he nodded and shrugged. "I guess
I'm making too much of it."
Clark smiled at him tightly and went back to setting the table.
===============================================================================
Breakfast was delicious, and full of the best waffles Lex had probably ever
eaten. His father, oblivious to the earlier incident kept the mood light and
soon Clark and his mother were laughing at stories from Christmases past. After
breakfast they adjourned to the great room and sat on the settees around the
tree. The tree was impressive even in the morning light. It stood twelve feet
high and every blade of pine glittered and twinkled in the sun. There were
ornaments clearly made by a much younger Clark, and some that were probably
family heirlooms. Despite its magnificence it still seemed warm and familial.
Clark's father had appointed himself Santa and was handing out the gifts. Clark
wasn't expecting much else since his Christmas Eve gift had been so
extravagant, but his parents surprised him with a new laptop (he'd been wanting
to switch to a Mac) and an astronomy camera to take pictures of the very images
he'd viewed through his telescope since he was a kid, which he was extremely
excited over, and the requisite sweaters, fuzzy socks, pajamas and new down
coat—in red of course. He hugged his parents long and cheerfully, exclaiming
over each new gift.
His parents gave Lex a simple Tumi messenger briefcase, which was both youthful
and stylish. Lex surprisingly really liked it, normally he tended to go for the
same things 40 yr old corporate lawyers used, but this bag made more sense on
prep school campus and more befitting his age.
"Thank you Mr and Mrs. Kent. You didn't need to get me a present."
Mr. Kent brushed him off. "Don't be ridiculous, its not a big deal, I just
swear by that brand, and you can never have too many of them. I hope you like
it, but you can exchange it for any bag you want."
Lex ran his finger down the single maroon leather stripe on the flap. "Its
perfect, I love it."
He'd gotten them simple but practical gifts; Mrs. Kent he got a set of Le
Creuset pots in bright orange to match her hair, since Clark talked about his
mother's cooking non-stop. For Mr. Kent he got :.a world-traveler watch, that
matched his own. Clark was the only student he'd seen not wandering the grounds
with an iPod, so he got him a video classic one and loaded three of his
favorite books on it, and as a small joke he got him a Warrior Angel alarm
clock that illuminated the time in bright red on the ceiling.
Clark laughed and shook his head. "My gift is going to seem so lame now."
"Nonsense, hand it over."
Clark reached under the tree and pulled out a small red package wrapped by his
own hands, very sloppily with a big green bow.
Clark shrugged. "I'm not a good wrapper."
Lex tore open the gift and inside was three copies of Warrior Angel comes; his
favorite issues, all signed by the artist. His mind immediately raced back to
the time when he was 12 and there was a comic convention in Metropolis and that
same artist was doing a signing. He'd begged his father to take him, but his
father refused, saying his obsession with comic book characters was unbecoming
a Luthor. He'd taken to hiding his collection after that just in case. But it
was if Clark had managed to travel back in time and grant him his wish.
"This is amazing Clark, seriously…thank you. I think I got the better end of
the deal."
Clark exhaled, relieved, he'd been so worried Lex would think the gift
childish. "My Dad got a bunch signed for me when they were on a trip to
California. They had some huge comic convention in San Diego and Dad stood in
line for like 2 hrs to get them signed."
Jonathan laughed, but one look at Lex's face and he knew no other gift could
have measured up. He'd only formally met Lionel Luthor once, and run into him
on occasion, but he could never shake the memory of the careless way he treated
Lex; like he was a commodity and not a child. Who'd have thought later that
same day their lives would be changed irrevocably—theirs for the better; better
than they could have ever hoped—and Lex's for the worse.
"I was happy to do it. I had fun looking at all the odd costumes everywhere.
People sure go all out for those things."
"We should go sometime; it could be fun."
Lex finally tore his eyes away from the comic, "Yeah, it would be fun."
They finished opening the remaining presents and then Mrs. Kent brought in some
cookies and hot chocolate. Clark lit a fire and they sat around for a while
chatting, lazily and inspecting their gifts.
"Pete's coming over in a little while, I should get dressed. Lex you want to
come over to the barn with me? I'm going to take the truck down there so Pete
can see it."
Lex got up. "Of course. I'll be happy to help you gloat."
Lex looked over at Mr. Kent, who gave him a small smile that was so warm it
felt like an embrace. He returned the smile quickly, wondering if he'd make it
through the day without an emotional outburst, and followed Clark upstairs.
===============================================================================
Clark let Lex drive the three minutes to the barn, and he had to admit, having
never sat behind a wheel of anything larger than a Boxter, it wasn't what he
expected. In his brief fling with the auto it handled surprisingly well without
the slightest hint of sliding on the icy driveway. He'd have to consider one
for the winter months.
The plan was to play Wii until Pete came, but after Clark wanted to show him
something upstairs in the loft, and they never made it back down. Lex pulled
out Clark's high school year book, while Clark sat next to him offering mini-
bios on everyone Lex asked about or made fun of.
"Where's the girl you said you left behind?"
Clark turned the page to the beginning of the L section and pointed to a
picture of a very pretty dark haired girl with tiny features and a polite grin.
"Lana Lang?"
Clark nodded. "Yeah, I was madly in love with her since were like 5, we finally
dated sophomore year, and it just wasn't what I expected I guess…I mean how can
reality ever live up to ten years of fantasy?"
"I hope you let her down easy."
He smirked a little at the memory. "It was more a mutual thing. I guess I
expected there to be all this passion, and there just wasn't. She's dating this
guy, Whitney—a football hero at school, which is probably better for her. Maybe
feeling lukewarm about her was my first clue…"
Lex closed the yearbook, and Clark collapsed against the sofa cushions. "Clark,
I really wish I could make you feel better about all of this"
Clark waved his hand dismissively "I'll figure it out I guess. You said its
normal to be this conflicted, but I guess I keep thinking, what if I'm not
confused, what if I'm just in denial?"
"Then you'll deal with it. Your parents seem like the type to help you no
matter who you end up being. Have you talked to them about this?"
"No! I mean…I've given them enough to deal with…lately."
Lex sat next to him, and turned to face him. "Look, I went through the same
thing at your age, and coupled with the fact that I'm Lionel's Luthor's
son…well lets just say I was convinced even more the universe was trying to
punish me. But over time I realized denying who I really was only kept me
miserable and away from the life I really wanted, and not just who I wanted to
be with, but what I truly wanted out of life. So the day I walked away from my
father, I also accepted my sexuality."
He'd never really thought about whether or not Lex was attracted to men; the
kiss probably should have been his first clue. And denying who he really was
held true on so many levels. There were things he had no choice but to keep to
himself and he'd never know the true impact of having to do that his whole
life, but maybe there was at least one thing he wouldn't always have to hide.
"Was it scary?"
"Terrifying."
Clark was really searching for an anchor right now. "But worth it?"
Lex nodded. "Hard in the beginning, especially given my track record at
Excelsior, but I'm happy now."
Clark gave him a tiny smile, and looked toward the large window. It was snowing
again, and for some reason that made him feel a little sad.
"You know what my Dad said about Excelsior? Well high school in general."
"What?"
"He said that at no other point in your life will people scrutinize you that
much, or be as cruel to each other. He said if anyone could survive the high
school years, the rest of life was a breeze."
Lex laughed, truer words had never been spoken. "Your father is a very wise
man."
That elicited the first genuine smile since they'd entered the barn.
"Thanks Lex."
"For what?"
Clark relaxed; stretching out his long limbs, unaware that leaned against Lex
now.
"For being such a good friend and not making me feel like a ridiculous kid."
"You're far from that, Clark." It came out in barely a whisper and Clark
glanced at him, startled by the way Lex held his gaze. Lex quickly turned away,
knowing he needed to get up from the couch immediately, but Clark leaned
forward and kissed him; lightly at first, then with more confidence until it
grew into a much deeper and passionate kiss than they shared the day before. He
encircled his large hand around Lex's neck, pulling in him, while his body
responded to Lex's hand resting on his thigh. Like he'd watched Braden do so
many times in the middle of the night with the nameless boy; he laid down on
the cushions, pulling Lex with him.
Lex hovered inches from his face, and his heart pounded in his chest and his
eyes burned with a growing warmth, but he'd learned by now to keep it at bay.
He was terrified and curious at the same time. He wanted answers and there was
no one he trusted as much as Lex.
Lex's hand slipped beneath Clark's sweater, surprised at how warm and smooth
the skin was, he wanted nothing more than to slip the sweater over Clark's head
and attack every inch of it, but the pounding in his head told him to stop,
that he was about to do something so terrible he'd never be able to live with
it. He moved away from Clark quickly, walking away towards the window,
struggling to pull it open for air.
"Lex…I didn't mean. I'm sorry." Clark sat, tugging down his sweater. His face
was completely flushed and hot, and he wished desperately his body hadn't been
so quick to respond.
His whole body tensed with the anger he was struggling to hold back, "That
can't happen Clark!"
Clark was a little shocked at his tone. "Its OK, I wanted to—"
"You don't know what you want; you're 16 yrs old! You're my student and I know
better than this. Clark, I can't be a safe haven for you. Whatever this is, you
need to work it out on your own. I can't do that for you. What just happened is
wrong, very wrong and I promised myself it would never happen again, and now…"
Clark felt like shrinking to the floor. He made a huge mistake and now he was
terrified he'd lose Lex as a friend.
"Lex, I promise. It'll never happen again, I don't know what I was thinking.
Please, don't be angry."
Lex sighed and sat heavily on the windowsill. "I'm not angry Clark…well I'm
angry at myself. Look, and please listen to me. Chances are this is just a
phase. Your libido is out of whack and I imagine one of the cows could get a
rise out of you if it looked at you the right way. One day, you're going to
fall in love with someone as beautiful as that Lana Lang and be happy. This
isn't real."
Clark stood there feeling surreal, like the space around him would disappear if
he breathed too hard. He understood what the word 'mortification' meant now.
"You don't know that."
"I do know that Clark, I do.
There was thick silence between them, only the distant screeching of black
crows breaking through.
"I really am sorry Lex."
Lex wished now he hadn't yelled, but he was so frustrated it just tore out of
him.
"Its not your fault. It's definitely not the worse thing that's ever happened
to me, but I know where it would lead and its nowhere either of us needs to go.
I hope you can understand that."
Clark stood rooted to the floor looking like someone had just kicked him hard,
but he nodded solemnly.
"I really think its best if I leave."
"What?! No, please don't do that. I won't be this stupid again—I've never done
anything like that in my life, of all times to decide to become aggressive. You
can trust me."
"Clark I'm more concerned that I welcomed it."
"I trust you."
Lex rubbed the back of his head, frustrated. "I'm not sure I can trust myself.
I'm not leaving this second, but I think it might be best if I left in the
morning. Its only a day earlier than I was leaving anyway."
Clark stood there looking defeated, but accepted. "Ok."
Lex stood up, walking past Clark. "Isn't Pete due to arrive soon?"
Clark nodded blankly.
"Well, give him my apologies. I have a few phone calls to make. I'll see you
back at the house."
Lex descended the stairs quickly, before Clark's soft voice stopped him.
"We'll get past this…won't we?"
He looked up at Clark, who stared down looking younger than his 16 yrs for the
first time.
"I really hope so.
***** Chapter 16 *****
He wasn't sure how long he stood rooted in the same spot, long after Lex
disappeared from the barn; it wasn't until he heard Pete's jarring, "Holy
shit!" exclamation from outside that he finally moved. He'd almost forgotten
Pete was coming over and ran outside to join him. Pete was already circling his
new truck with a big grin of awe on his face. He hadn't even heard him drive
up.
"Oh man, you have to be the luckiest guy on the planet!"
Clark smiled and hoped it looked genuine, he tried to push the recent events
out of his mind, but the feeling they produced lingered and he was having a
hard time joining Pete in his elation.
Pete hopped inside the SUV not bothering to ask for permission.
"I thought you said there was no way you were getting a car this year?"
Clark got in on the passenger's side. "That's what I thought, but they
surprised me. "
"Damn, that's an understatement…so you taking it back to school? Because you
know, if you need someone to take care of it…"
Clark tried to laugh, but it didn't come out very convincingly. "Sorry Pete,
I'm driving it back to campus after the holidays, but if you're extra nice to
me, I might let you drive it while I'm home."
Pete continued to check the SUV for extras, mumbling how suddenly the Wii he
got for Christmas seemed super lame. Clark wanted to assure him a Wii was
nothing to be unhappy about, but he didn't bother—it'd start a whole
conversation that they'd had way too many times about how Clark's life was
charmed and Pete's own life sucked by comparison, and he wasn't in the mood for
a jealous rant right now. Besides he couldn't shake his mood and he wasn't
quite present, something that Pete eventually noticed.
"Clark, are you even listening? Whats wrong, you're spacey even for you."
"Sorry, just a little distracted…"
"Yeah, I noticed. Christmas is your favorite holiday, usually you're bouncing
off the walls and being really annoying."
Clark tried harder to produce a convincing laugh, but it sounded hollow even to
him.
"I don't know whats wrong. I guess being away kind of made me miss everything?
I wish I knew."
Pete nodded sympathetically, not really understanding but not wanting to be a
jerk about it either. Clark decided to let him off the hook and change the
subject.
"You want to go for a quick drive?"
Pete perked up immediately and held his hand out for the keys.
"But where's baldy? I thought he was here."
"Lex is back at the house—he had some business to take care of. If you want to
meet him we can go to the house when we get back."
Pete shook his head. "Nah, I don't want to see any teachers unless I have to."
Clark knew it had more to do with the town's unflinching prejudice against the
Luthor name based on, what he didn't know, since his father had tried his best
to keep Lionel Luthor far away from Smallville. Still they represented
everything most working class people loathed, and since Clark wasn't in the
mood for yet another uncomfortable situation, he let it go.
They drove out towards the lake and stayed on the more deserted roads so Pete
could test the limits of the speedometer. For once he wished Pete were someone
he could talk to about the situation, but like most guys, they didn't have that
kind of relationship. Times like these he wished Chloe was back in town.
He kept the conversation light until they returned to the farm. Pete was still
beaming and eyeing the truck jealously as he handed over the keys.
"Thanks man, I mean it drives like a dream."
"You're welcome to drive it anytime while I'm here."
"Thanks….you sure you Ok?"
Clark nodded, not trusting his voice.
"Oh, what are you doing about New Year's? I know usually Lana is your date for
the party, but I'm guessing since she's moved on to a certain quarterback
that's not the case this year?"
Clark hadn't even thought about a date for the party. "She's still invited, I'm
pretty sure my parents invited her aunt, but no, she won't be my date."
It should have stung more when Clark learned Lana was dating someone else now,
but after how distant they'd become during the summer he wasn't surprised he
felt little about the news.
"So who you taking? You know there's like a list as long as route 8 of girls
waiting for the chance."
He just rolled his eyes; Pete always made him out to be some kind of town stud
when nothing could be further from the truth.
"You roll your eyes, but I speak the truth. Anyway, the reason I bring it up is
because Natalie wants to be your date if you don't have anyone yet, and if you
take Natalie, Hannah says she'll come with me."
Clark grimaced; he knew Natalie well, and even though she was a grade ahead of
him, she made no secret of the fact that she thought they should be a couple.
She was very pretty and seemed nice enough, though a little pushy for his taste
and hung out with a bunch of extremely bitchy girls who'd obviously seen one
too many teen films.
"Pete, I barely know her."
"Well, here's your chance to get to know her. Come on Clark, I don't ask you
for much."
"Why do you even want to go out with someone who doesn't really want to go out
with you?"
Pete smiled. "I plan on charming her into liking me, and besides, Hannah's hot.
Look, its not like you have to take her out on the town or anything, its just
your family's party, if you want to bail, you won't be far from home. It'll be
painless, I promise…please?"
Clark sighed. "Fine. Who's Chloe bringing?"
Pete shrugged, unable to stop smiling now. "I don't know, some kid from
Metropolis."
He really needed to give her a call. "So I guess you're happy now?"
Pete's grin got ridiculously bigger. "Yep! This time next week I'll be
escorting one of the hottest girls in school to one of the biggest events in
town, all thanks to the best friend a guy could ever have. I'd better get
going, I think we're having dinner soon."
Clark laughed genuinely this time. "Glad I could help, Merry Christmas, that's
your present."
Pete headed for his car; that now seemed a poor imitation next to Clarks'. "Hey
you might actually like Natalie and you'll be thanking me later. Say hello to
Baldy for me."
Once Pete was gone, Clark was faced with the decision whether to return to the
house or not. The decision was made for him when his cell phone vibrated in his
pocket. He knew who it was before he even put the phone to his ear.
"Clark, your mother is busy with dinner, so you need to get back here and help
me get everything else ready."
He nodded before remembering his father couldn't actually see him and said
"Ok." distractedly, closing his phone not sure if he said 'goodbye' or not.
===============================================================================
Normally he'd be standing in the dining room in under 10 seconds, but he
couldn't be sure where Lex was, so he started walking slowly up the trail
leading from the barn to the house.
He spotted Lex on the porch, clearly agitated. He watched him pace back and
forth, each step angrier than the last. As Clark neared he heard his clipped
tone clearly, talking tensely on the phone to the unfortunate receiver of his
barely contained rage. He knew if he paused by the door and concentrated he'd
be able to hear the conversation in detail—his hearing had always been
exceptional. He lingered for a moment before deciding that invading Lex's
privacy wouldn't help matters. So he yanked open the front door and went to
find his Dad.
He didn't get a chance to speak to Lex alone before the few guests they invited
arrived for dinner. When he finally saw Lex enter the dining room, offering
swift apologies for disappearing, he could find no trace in his demeanor of
whatever upset him on the porch, or what happened earlier in the barn. When he
met Clark's gaze he smiled warmly, mask firmly in place. It sent a chill
through Clark, but he ate his dinner quietly, smiling and nodding in all the
right places, not really enjoying the incredible spread his mother slaved over
all day.
Lex managed to avoid him all evening. Every time he spotted him he stood deep
in conversation with a guest, moving about the room like a social snake,
pausing to just long enough to entrap a new victim; or that's at least how
Clark saw it, because it frustrated him to no end that Lex was hell bent on
making sure he never caught him alone. Clark retreated to him room early,
making sure he gave a valid excuse to the guests, one he knew his parents would
know was a lie, but would hopefully allow him to leave in peace.
He'd spent the rest of night on the phone with Chloe sporadically as she had to
keep getting off to cater to a relative or her Dad; always calling Clark back
faithfully to complain heavily about the latest infraction on her mental health
and personal space. Chloe was in rare form and it was the first time he
genuinely laughed all day, so he didn't bring up the incident with Lex; he just
wanted to enjoy feeling young and at ease for once.
Now, as he lay in bed listening to Lex move around his room, it all weighed
heavily on him again. And there was no escape since it was probably
unacceptable to call even Chloe at 3 in the morning. So he laid in the dark,
quietly listening to Lex dealing with his own turmoil. Every few minutes he
thought about getting out of bed and going to Lex's room to try to coax him
into a conversation, or an apology—though he wasn't positive who should be
apologizing. Maybe they both should. But being in the throes of post-holiday
melancholy on top of everything else, made it unlikely he'd do much but torture
himself for the next few hours. He always felt that way when he climbed into
bed on Christmas night. The holiday so full of anticipation and preparation—so
much thought, care and anxiety poured into making a perfect holiday, and then
with one dinner, one night of smiles and joyful levity it was all over, and the
next day always felt strangely empty and inadequate until normal life started
to creep in again.
He couldn't say it'd been his best holiday; there had been too much shifting
between highs and lows for that, but still he felt sad it was over, and aside
from the impending New Years party, there was little distraction to avoid
everything bothering him now. Laying in the dark trying to will a sleep that's
never going to come wasn't helping much either. Giving up, he slipped out of
bed, hoping to find some comfort in the large quiet dark rooms; twinkling with
holiday light, but the lingering smell of sugar drifting from the kitchen
veered him off his course. Everything is better with sugar coursing through
your veins.
Heading towards the kitchen, he heard a small shift of cushions in the great
room. He peaked around the corner and saw Lex on the sofa nearest the Christmas
tree, and he was so still, Clark wondered if he'd fallen asleep sitting up. He
hesitated at the threshold, thinking maybe Lex felt as lost as he did at the
moment and didn't want to be disturbed, but the need to put all the turmoil in
his head to rest pushed him forward. In true Lex fashion, he spoke before Clark
even had the chance to figure out what to say.
"What are you doing up Clark? I didn't wake you did I?"
He took that as invitation and continued into the room.
"No, I couldn't sleep. I thought maybe pie would help."
He hovered by the sofa, trying unsuccessfully to look casual, wishing he were
bold enough to sit next to Lex and just tell him they needed to talk.
"Well don't let me stop you. Your mother's pie is amazing."
Lex didn't really look at him; just in his general direction to be polite, and
somehow it felt ruder than if he ignored him outright.
Clark stood there for a moment, waiting for—something, anything that indicated
he wasn't intruding in his own home. Finally he shrugged and headed for the
kitchen, stopping only briefly to ask if Lex wanted to join him, but saw his
head was already deep in his blackberry, so Clark tackled the sugar rush alone.
===============================================================================
Morning often brought clarity. Something about the start of a new day and a
half-awake brain made things clearer—usually anyway, but when Clark awoke to
the sun shining brightly through his cheerful red curtains he felt even more
confused than ever.
He felt the edges of a dream; maybe even a nightmare receding too quickly from
his brain to grasp. But the feeling lingered, settling like a heavy fog in his
chest. He lay there flat on his back; limbs hanging limply off the bed;
grateful that the day after Christmas was traditionally when everyone slept in
to recuperate from a long week of festivities. His mother would rise in time to
make a big brunch and they'd probably just lounge around all day watching
movies or talking. For now he wanted to resemble a lifeless doll as he
contemplated how he'd finally find the courage to force Lex into the
conversation they needed to have if they were going to face each other like
human beings back at school.
He must have drifted off again because he nearly jumped out of his skin at the
sound of soft wrapping on the door; or it should have been soft, to him it
sounded like someone pounding on the inside of his skull, but then quickly
receded to normal. His hearing kept doing bizarre things lately, he only prayed
it wasn't the start of yet another "ability" he'd have to deal with soon. Being
able to incinerate people with his eyes was all he could handle in one year.
"Come in!"
Lex peeked around the door. "Sorry, I wasn't sure if you were still asleep…"
Clark stood up, pushing the covers aside. His shirt was twisted around his
waist, and his hair stood in various directions on top of his head, which
judging by the smile in Lex's eyes, must have looked pretty comical. Clark
hastily smoothed his hair down as best he could and tried to look alert.
"I was up earlier, but I must have fallen asleep again," he noticed the small
travel bag slung over Lex's shoulder. "..you leaving already?"
He nodded. "After breakfast, which you mother sent me up here to tell you is
ready."
Clark stood, looking from the bag to Lex, at a lost of what to say—he wasn't
prepared to have to push the issue so suddenly.
"Look…Lex..I.."
Lex shook his head, already knowing where this was leading. "I'll see you
downstairs."
Lex quickly slipped out the door before Clark could utter another word. It
seemed innocuous, but Clark knew he was saying very simply: you're still a
student and I'm still your teacher—nothing more.
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thanks to everyone who is still reading, sends reviews. Much
     appreciated!
 
"She looks like a stuffed cow."
Clark rolled his eyes and tried to suppress a smile. He nudged Chloe gently but
firmly to admonish her.
"Chloe…"
"She does Clark, I mean look at her. That dress is at the very least one size
too small—she hasn't see the other side of a size 14 in a very long time."
Clark let go of the smile he was trying in vain to hold in. "Don't be mean."
"I'm not. A size 14 happens to be the average size of most American women, I'm
just saying she should embrace her figure instead of trying to force it to
conform to something it has no chance in hell of being."
"So it has nothing to do with the fact that she's one of the editors at the
Daily Planet that killed your—to quote you—"career making headline"?
Chloe scoffed, but chose not to go into the long tale of the article that never
was—created for the sole purpose of landing her the distinction of being the
youngest person ever to work in the bullpen at the Daily Planet.
"That woman has no vision—and really terrible taste in clothes. Speaking of…"
Clark followed her gaze to his date that stood below them in the great room
chatting up a friend she'd run into.
He shrugged. "What's wrong with her dress?"
"A little skimpy don't you think? I mean it is 20 degrees outside."
Clark wondered why the conversation had again steered towards dresses; a
subject he knew nothing about, nor cared about.
"Its not 20 degrees in here, besides it's a formal event; most dresses aren't
exactly ready for a blizzard. Yours doesn't even have sleeves."
"Yeah, but at least my boobs—"
"Can we please talk about something else?"
Chloe smiled. At least teasing Clark was a good enough diversion to lighten her
mood.
"Sorry, Clark."
Clark rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you're having fun."
"Hey, I need all the levity I can get if I'm supposed to spend and evening with
her."
Clark looked back over to where his date was now coming up the stairs to join
them on the landing.
"She seems Ok…"
Chloe lowered her voice a little. "Oh how quickly you forget. You've been gone,
what, four months? Have you forgotten how evil her and her little disciples
were at school? How miserable they made my life?"
"Don't you think you're exaggerating just a little? I don't remember her being
that bad."
"Seeing as how you were the unassuming "school hotty" I don't think you're in
any position to judge."
"Maybe the kids at Excelsior make the kids at Smallville High seem like
saints."
Chloe frowned, a little surprised by the admission and was about to comment,
but Natalie and Pete with his date were drawing close. Clark leaned over and
whispered, "be nice." quickly, and turned to greet them.
===============================================================================
The evening passed by uneventfully—all of Smallville and portions of Granville
and Metropolis covered the floor of the great-room, creating a sea of blue and
silver (the theme colors this year). Clark watched it all with detachment;
nodding and smiling when anyone engaged him in mundane conversation—the usual
"you're looking well"; "we've missed you around here." He wondered if any of it
was true. He tried to get know his date, hoping expressing some genuine
interest would shake him out of his dark, detached mood. He remembered her from
school of course, but realized he didn't remember much about her except she was
pretty and hung with a group of obnoxious girls, and didn't stand out much—now
he understood why. Maybe it was just his mood, because if he was honest he
wasn't paying as close attention to her as he thought. A huge part of him just
wanted to go to bed, or at the very least get away from all the festivities.
It was around that time that everyone else tired of watching their parents grow
giddier with each sip of champagne and decided to head over to Clark's barn for
some peace and less adult fun.
Chloe kicked things off by producing a well-stashed bottle of champagne from
under her coat. She readied herself to launch into the lengthy excuse she
prepared on the walk over of why it was ok to steal a bottle of Dom from the
kitchen, but her speech died on her lips when she saw a look of pure
disinterest on Clark's face—she wondered just what Excelsior had done to her
boy scout. Soon the bottle was passed around and the flat screen blared some
bad HBO film. Clark took a swig when his turn came, but he knew the alcohol
would have no affect on him. He usually felt a slight buzz the minute the
liquid hit the back of his throat, but it died as quickly as it came. So he sat
and watched while his friends laughed louder and harder at next to nothing and
his date moved closer and closer to him.
He avoided looking at the loft above them—trying desperately to forget what
occurred there just days before. It didn't help that Lex's current whereabouts
were a mystery to him. Every text and email had gone unanswered. Once after the
third unanswered text he even called his Paris hotel, but was told in broken
English that Mr. Luthor had declined to check in.
He knew if he asked, Lex would say the avoidance was for his own good; that he
was being the grownup and taking things under control. Then why did it feel
like he'd been punched in the gut? He couldn't shake the feeling that Lex was
angry with him somehow—that he'd screwed everything up. The sound of jingle
bells screaming above all the laughing he'd been tuning out pulled him away
from his thoughts. Chloe's phone was blaring next to him in her discarded coat.
He reached in and handed to her as she stumbled quickly to grab it.
All he heard was an "Oh Cool!" followed by her announcement that a bunch of
kids were having a New Year's bonfire by the lake, and Whitney and Lana would
swing to pick them up if anyone wanted to go. Clark said a silent prayer that
they all wanted to join them, and his prayers were answered. Quickly everyone
got to their feet (unsteadily) and started grabbing coats. Natalie, his date
didn't move from his side, silently waiting for his cue. Chloe stopped laughing
with Pete long enough to notice Clark hadn't moved from the couch.
"You're not coming?"
He shook his head. "I'm kinda tired….you guys go ahead."
Chloe looked at him with new concern. "But you haven't seen everyone for
months, and I know everyone is wants to see you. You sure you won't change your
mind?"
Clark stood to walk them out. "I'm sure. But go have fun, and make sure Whitney
is fit to drive before you get in his truck. I'll take you guys over if he's
not."
Chloe gently tugged him to the side and half whispered. "You sure you're OK? I
mean, and you can totally tell me its none of my business, but you've seemed
kind of distant all night. Not out-growing us small-town hicks are you?"
He gave her his best smile—the kind he'd been told lit up his whole face.
"Never. I've missed you guys more than you know. And I'm sorry….i just have
some stuff on my mind, its got nothing to do with you, I promise."
Chloe rubbed his arm sympathetically. "Ok…I'll call you tomorrow. We will hang
out and I will make you smile…for real this time."
He really had missed Chloe. He kissed the top of her head and steered her
towards the others.
"Oh, by the way…don't think you're getting rid of Miss Natalie anytime soon."
He rolled his eyes and gave her a gentle shove and returned to the sofa where
Natalie was still seated.
"You didn't have to stay because of me."
She smiled softly. "Honestly, standing outside in the freezing cold around a
frozen lake doesn't seem like much of a good time."
Clark laughed a little. "Well, there is a fire…"
"I'm fine where I am, thanks."
Clark stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do. He didn't
really want company right now, but he also couldn't just kick her out.
"So…I could take you home. I mean whenever you're ready."
She smiled that benign smile of hers and walked past him towards the stairs.
"What's up there? Is that the loft I've heard so much about?"
Of course she wanted to see the one place he'd been avoiding all night, but he
couldn't really tell her why he wanted to avoid it, so he nodded and followed
her up the stairs.
"Wow, its gorgeous up here…"
Clark deliberately sat on the sofa because his father always said face your
fears, don't avoid them. He just hoped Natalie's chattering and the twinkling
lights (how his mother managed to decorate the loft without him knowing was
beyond him) were enough to distract him from thinking about laying prone on
that very sofa with Lex's hand against his chest.
"Thanks…it was kinda my thirteenth birthday present. My Dad told me about it
the birthday before and let me design it. We both worked on it together, right
along side the contractors."
She came and sat next to him. "That's amazing, but it sounds like something
your Dad would do; he's a very cool guy."
"Oh you know my Dad? I mean I know most people know him…"
She nodded. "Yea, well not really, I mean my Dad works for your company, and
he's really happy there—always saying how good your parents are to everyone."
"I didn't realize your Dad worked there."
"Why would you? You know all 1200 employees?"
Clark smiled sheepishly. "No, not really, but you know, I just forget sometimes
how many here work at the company."
She leaned against his arm. "You guys are like the gentle Barons."
Clark just smiled, a little embarrassed. He never knew what to say when people
brought up how prominent his family is in the town. He'd spent his whole life
there, and attended school with everyone –he never felt like the rich kid in
town, and never flaunted what he had the way the Fordmans did. It was strange
now to be thrust in the middle of a world where everyone cared what everyone
else's father did for a living. Maybe there was more bothering him than just
the incident with Lex. If it was possible, being home made him even more
homesick.
Natalie gently touched his arm. "Hey…you OK, you seemed to zone out there for a
minute."
Clark shook his head, trying to chase away the thoughts that kept pulling him
down all day.
"Sorry, I guess I'm just having an off day."
"Holidays are like that sometimes I guess."
He glanced at her, not minding her hand that was now resting on his back. It
felt soothing.
"I mean, if you're not having the best time ever, you feel miserable."
Clark nodded, "but my holidays weren't bad. Christmas was really nice, and
tonight's party seemed to go well…"
"Then whats wrong?"
For the first time, Clark understood why people said telling your problems to a
stranger was easier than telling your best friend. But he didn't even know how
to begin. What he wanted was to not think about any of it.
Clark didn't answer, and for a few moments they sat there like that watching
the lights flicker, sitting very close and not saying anything.
"Do you miss it here?"
He found it funny that the only person who thought to ask him that didn't know
him very well at all.
"Yea, I guess…I mean, Excelsior is…different."
"I hear its pretty stuck up"
Clark sighed, "That's an understatement…I'm sorry I don't really want to talk
about Excelsior."
She rubbed his back gently. "Its ok. I'm sorry you're not happy there. You're
far to nice and cute to be unhappy"
He gave her a small smile, one she returned, and for a moment he must have
looked open because she leaned up and kissed him.
He opened his mouth to hers, surprised by how soft and warm she felt, and how
eagerly he deepened the kiss. He felt the familiar heat spreading through
him—just a pleasant warmth at first that he knew would continue to grow in
intensity if he let this continue. At the back of his mind was the thought that
he hardly knew her, but at least he was feeling something and for the first
time all night wasn't thinking about Lex; not incinerating her was his prime
focus at the moment. She moved over to sit facing him on his lap, slipping her
hand beneath his shirt. His body seemed to spring to life then, and a huge part
of him was relieved it was a female causing such a strong reaction. He'd been
with Lana before his "awakening" and he never felt more and a pleasant comfort
with her. Natalie's fingers brushed against his nipple and her mouth teased his
neck. He moaned softly and felt himself straining against his pants. The heat
pooled behind his eyes and he blinked them rapidly a few times, focusing the
sensation to where her hands touched him.
He wasn't sure when his shirt was unbuttoned, but she was pushing the fabric
away from his chest. She sat back a little and eased one the straps of her
dress off her shoulder, letting it fall. He'd never seen a female breast this
close before and his blush spread below his neck.
"We should really…."
But she guided his hand over it and leaned in and kissed him again, letting her
fingers graze against the straining fabric of his pants. His whole body felt
like it was on fire—it was almost overwhelming and he needed to stop,
desperately, but it felt…amazing. She moved back and undid his pants, releasing
him. He looked at her, wanting to tell her they didn't have to take things this
far, but instead he kissed her again. Then she moved away from his lips,
shifting on his lap, and soon he was enveloped in a heat unlike anything he'd
ever felt before.
It didn't take very long.
A few moments later he was left with a searing pain in his eyes, panting
against the sofa, wondering how something so important could happen so quickly
and with so little fanfare.
He barely registered her asking him where the bathroom was. He gestured below
them and as soon as he heard her receding steps he laid back on the sofa
wondering what he had just done.
After Natalie returned, he took his turn, staying in the bathroom longer than
necessary. He moved on autopilot, feeling strange and surreal. He dreaded the
moment he'd have to speak to her again—what would he say?
He discovered Natalie on the downstairs sofas when he finally emerged. She
smiled brightly at him, completely at ease.
"It's getting pretty late, huh?"
"Yea, I guess it is…should I take you home now?"
She nodded and went to get her coat. Clark helped her on with it, still feeling
the massive awkwardness hanging in the air—at least on his end. He looked at
her oddly, watching her casual demeanor as she checked around for anything
she'd left behind.
"Are you Ok?"
She looked confused for a moment. "Me? I'm fine." She walked over and leaned up
to kiss him. " I had a lot fun—probably my best New Years to date."
She took his hand, smiling serenely, and they walked out of the barn together.
===============================================================================
 
The drive was quiet and uneventful. Natalie leaned lazily against the passenger
window trying not fall asleep, while he kept his eyes determinedly on the dark
icy roads. As long as he looked like he was trying not to get them killed,
maybe he wouldn't be forced into conversation. So far the ruse worked. Once
they pulled up to Natalie's house, he turned and smiled, unsure of whether to
kiss her goodnight or not. It seemed both expected and futile after the evening
they'd had. He leaned forward and kissed her lightly, and she didn't push for
more. She suggested they get together in the next day or so, and he couldn't
very well turn her down, so they made tentative plans for the day after New
Years, when Smallville would return to life.
 
The lights were still on in the great room when he arrived home. He really
didn't want to face his parents right now, and for a moment he considered
speeding around to the kitchen door and disappearing up the back stairs. But
his mother passed the window, alerted by his approach. He climbed out of the
truck and slowly made his way to the front door.
"There you are. I was beginning to get worried. Did you go to the lake with the
others?"
He shook his head, before realizing standing there like a mute might seem
weird.
"No..."
His mother peered at him closer. "Clark…honey did something happen?"
For a moment his eyes widened in alarm, but they couldn't tell could they? Was
his entry into manhood written all over his face? Though he didn't feel like a
man at all—its what everyone said he'd become afterwards; honestly he never
felt more like a confused kid.
"What? No, my date didn't want to go, so we just hung out in the barn." That
wasn't a lie at all.
"I'm really tired, I think I'll just go to bed."
"Are you sure everything is ok? You're awfully quiet."
His father had joined them now, but Clark could tell he was still feeling the
affects of earlier imbibing and probably wouldn't notice his awkwardness—or he
hoped at least.
"Martha, even Clark can get tired, its been a long day—And Clark, sleep in
tomorrow. I think we all deserve a nice day of leisure after all our hard
work."
His mother shook her head. "Fine you win, I'll see you in the morning sweety."
She kissed his cheek never letting the concern leave her eyes.
===============================================================================
Paris was supposed to bring some level of peace. People traveled from all over
the world to stand in grand Parisian windows, gazing out at the Eiffel Tower
with pensive looks on their faces as they exhaled all the worry and anxiety
from their mundane complicated lives, letting it drift over the Seine while
they embraced the laissez faire of the French. Normally all the usual posturing
worked, but as Lex stood on the small balcony outside of his overpriced suite
in the very quaint Le Marias district, he never felt more burdened and beaten.
His features twisted with anger and anxiety and he repeated over and over in
his head, with the ferocity of lashes; "I shouldn't have stopped in
Metropolis—I should have gone straight to the airport." If he had, maybe he
could actually enjoy scoring the last luxury suite in Paris's only gay district
and his plans of full-on debauchery, making use of the hotels discretion and
the privacy his suite provided. He'd given up the suite he'd had booked since
October. He didn't want anyone to find him—he just wanted to be left completely
alone. Maybe Paris and its beauty and freedom would give him the answers and
space he needed. Distance from Clark would provide much needed clarity he
hoped. Though he knew it wasn;t about clarity. Everything was pretty
clear—Clark was sixteen years old; his student and very innocent. There was
nothing to figure out. He needed to leave Clark alone.
As he stood on the balcony trying to steel his resolve he tried to ignore the
implications of the dark-haired youth with ruddy cheeks and dewy skin sleeping
peacefully in his bed. It didn't matter he saw grey eyes when he should have
seen blue or that the lips he bit where not as full and red as the ones in his
head. None of it mattered as long as he could endure seeing Clark again.
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Clark picked at his food. He'd been trying unsuccessfully to elevate his mood
all day but nothing was working. Anyone else would be elated by his current
situation, but he felt dragged down by a swirl of emotions and erratic
thoughts, and—guilt. The last one he couldn't figure out. He hadn't done
anything wrong, but part of him knew that wasn't true—and it wasn't for the
conventional reasons. He knew somehow he'd broken a very important promise to
himself—to who he'd been raised to be, but he also knew he wasn't stopping
anytime soon.
A week passed since New Year's Eve and he'd seen Natalie three times. Each time
he was determined they'd just watch a movie, or at the most he'd take her out
to eat, but every time they ended up back in his loft with far less clothing on
than when the evening began. He couldn't say he knew what he was doing, but so
far she hadn't complained, and didn't seem to expect him to do much more than
lie back while she did things he'd only heard rumors about.
He watched Chloe talk animatedly knowing any moment she'd catch on that he
hadn't heard a word she said.
"You know, I could just record this so you can listen to it later. Can you at
least pretend you're listening to me?"
Clark smiled a little. "Sorry…what were you saying?"
She sighed heavily. "Not important. What's going on? You're being weird even
for you."
"Nothing's going on…"
Chloe took a fry off his plate. "You do know you're a bad liar, right?"
"Would you rather me be a good liar?" He suddenly felt irritated and he wasn't
sure why.
Chloe peered at him, like she was trying to figure something out, then leaned
back in her seat sighing. "Fine. Mr. Kent doesn't feel like talking-so what
else is new?"
"Sorry, I just—"
She waved her hand. "Its Ok Clark, I know you're not the most loquacious guy
around." She grinned widely at her impressive new word.
Clark smiled. "How long have you been waiting to slip that into a
conversation?"
"Just since I read it in class last semester, but I knew if I hung around you
during the break I'd find a reason to use it."
Clark had to laugh. "Glad I didn't disappoint."
"Oh! That reminds me. Well it doesn't, but anyway, you will not believe what
that total bitch Natalie is telling her friends."
Clark visibly tensed and felt the color drain from his face as he braced
himself for Chloe's news.
"Chloe, I don't really think she's a bi—"
"She is! She is actually going around telling the other Preppy Princesses that
she actually slept with you the night of the party!"
Chloe had the tact of a pitbull. He quickly looked around the diner to see if
anyone else heard her exclamation. Fortunately they were the only ones on that
side of the diner.
He whispered fiercely, "Can you keep your voice down?"
"Oh sorry, but can you believe that? I told you I had good reason to hate her.
She probably thinks she can get away with saying it because you're going back
to school soon,….and why are you not hopping mad and berating her with me? I
mean I get that you're a nice guy and all, but come on Clark! She is waaay out
of line!"
Clark became very interested in his food all of a sudden. His pallor now
replaced with bright red as he felt his face growing hotter by the second.
"Look Clark, its nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm sure no one believes
her….Not that it won't score you points with the jocks if they did….Clark?"
He glanced up from his burger that he was now very intent on eating, but kept
silent. He didn't want to lie, and he definitely didn't want to tell her the
truth. More than anything he didn't want to talk about it all, especially not
with Chloe, because even though she was his best friend, he worried about her
reaction most of all.
"Not now…"
Chloe's eyes turned into saucers. "Do you mean 'not now' because you don't want
to talk about how horrible she is; or 'not now' meaning she's not making it up
and you don't want to tell me in the middle of a diner?"
"Chloe, I'm serious, I don't want to talk about this." He could feel this anger
swelling inside him and he wasn't sure he could control his tongue if she kept
pressing the issue.
"But, Clark.."
He gave her one last pleading look before returning to his burger.
They ate the rest of the meal in near silence. He felt her eyes boring into him
but he refused to acknowledge her. His only goal now was to drop her back home
and get back to the farm without any further discussion.
But as they walked up the street after leaving the diner, and he watched her
face growing sharper and her eyes narrower with every step he couldn't take it
any longer. He was the first to cave.
He stopped abruptly and looked at her. "What Chloe?"
"What?"
"Just say it, whatever is going on in your head, just get it out because you're
driving me nuts."
Chloe folded her arms, which was never a good sign, and her eyes were absolute
daggers. "You're the one who said you didn't want to talk about it, not that I
know what there is to talk about. I have a pretty good idea though."
"Wait…you're angry?"
Chloe started walking again. "Its none of my business, Clark."
He grabbed her by shoulder, careful to do it lightly. "Chloe…"
She stopped and looked at him, her gaze softening a little. "Look, I'm not
mad…I'm just…I don't know, I guess I thought you were different? But that's not
fair is it? I mean why should you be any different than any other 16 yr old
guy? I don't know why it upsets me…"
"I'm…I…." But what could he say? She was right wasn't she? He wasn't any
different than most of the guys in the locker rooms at school.
"Clark, its fine, I mean, what do I know right? You just always talked about
how you wanted what your parents have, and how important it was for you to be
in love. I mean I know you and Lana never really got past second base because
you weren't sure how you felt about her. So, I guess I'm just thrown when I
find out you'd throw everything aside for the first girl who's willing. You
don't know even know her Clark."
Chloe felt herself getting heated again. She really didn't want to care, but
she did, and it was for none of the reasons she just stated—at least it wasn't
the whole story.
If he didn't think he could feel any worse he was wrong. He felt ashamed and
angry. Angry at the whole situation and angry with her for making him face it,
and everything he'd been holding at bay all afternoon came rushing forward.
"I'm sorry I disappointed you, but you're right; I am a 16 yr old guy and I
don't know everything. I don't know why I did it,…its just a lot more
complicated than you know." He knew his voice was growing louder but he
couldn't control it.
"….and I do feel bad, I feel terrible, and confused,…..but don't keep putting
me on pedestals!, its not fair and I can't live up to it all the time!"
Chloe stared at him, a little surprised by his outburst, but she mostly felt
weary and maybe dealing with Clark and his usual myriad of problems was beyond
her capacity right now.
"Don't worry Clark—pedestal completely crumbled. I'll find my own way home."
She pushed past him and walked hurriedly away. He didn't stop her, he just
walked across the street, climbed into his truck, and peeled up the
road—screeching tires voicing the frustration he couldn't bring himself to
scream out loud.
Chapter End Notes
     A bit short but i wanted to get things moving:)
***** Chapter 19 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thanks again for the kudos and comments. They are very appreciated. I
     really do love to know what people are thinking when they read this,
     good or bad:)
The streets of Paris were oddly deserted at this hour. Some holiday festival
near Champs Élysées that evening had taken over the entire city's inhabitants
and left the rest of the city abandoned. Lex took advantage of the solitude and
wandered the streets for hours. Again he was reminded of his teenage desire to
have a small apartment in Montmartre. His father had nixed the plan after his
senior year scandal, but maybe it was time to revisit the idea. He immediately
wondered if Clark had been to Paris, and what he'd think of Montmartre. Clark
always entered his mind without warning at the oddest times, and he hated it.
Paris and the over 4,000 mile distance wasn't doing it's job. Even the French
youth he'd picked up the other night and fucked until he was nearly too sore to
move didn't help. He was at a lost and he didn't know how he'd return to
Excelsior without doing something drastic.
As he neared his hotel the fatigue he'd held at bay all day suddenly hit him.
He wanted nothing more than to sink into his bed alone and not move til
morning, but a figure standing near the concierge desk brought all that to a
halt. He had two choices; either sneak to the elevator bay unseen and refuse
all calls for the rest of the evening and deal with it tomorrow or face him now
and get over with. The anger flaring inside of him chose the latter and he
walked briskly up to the man hell bent on ruining his evening.
"What are you doing here? How did you even find me?"
His father turned around smiling broadly "There you are! Honestly Lex, you're
not all that hard to find. I came to see you of course, since you felt it
necessary to avoid me for the holidays. The staff was very upset, Rowena was
preparing your favorites."
Lex rolled his eyes—this was the last thing he needed. "Cut the crap Dad. What
do you want?"
"Always so suspicious Lex. Meet me across the street for dinner in 20 minutes.
I need to get settled. And get a good table."
He clapped him on the back, with a smile that always chilled Lex to the bone,
even as a child. Lionel then turned his attention to the hotel staff collecting
his bags and didn't so much as glance back in his direction. It always amazed
Lex how someone could smile and exchange pleasantries and make your blood run
cold at the same time. A skill only Lionel Luthor and Satan seemed to have
mastered.
===============================================================================
Le Dome du Marias was unnaturally empty this time of evening, so Lex didn't
have to bother mentioning his name to score a prime table, though his bald head
was hard to miss he imagined. The restaurant was typical of his father—very old
Paris, with lots of carved wood and stained glass; there was even a glass dome;
hence the name. It wasn't his taste—it reminded him too much of his former
home—all austere and pompous, like his father. Lex ordered a scotch, knowing
he'd need a great deal of liquid courage if he were to endure this evening.
Lionel arrived exactly 25 minutes later to make his usual ostentatious
entrance. He toned down the display once he saw the audience was relatively
small. Lex rolled his eyes and pushed the out the chair across from him with
his foot.
Lionel glanced at the chair then shook his head "We must keep up the niceties
Lex. You should stand when an elder joins you, but no matter, I know you've
been away from us for a while. It makes sense you'd forget a few courtesies."
Lex took a long sip of his scotch that just arrived, wondering how he;d
forgotten how much he hated the way his father danced around the truth. He
truly hated passive aggressiveness.
Tossing back the rest of his drink, Lex eyed his father steadily, pushing the
empty glass to the edge of the table, signaling for another.
"Are we going do a verbal waltz, or are you going to tell me why you tracked me
down all the way to Paris?"
Lionel threw his coat on the empty chair next to him and smiled. "Well, at
least Excelsior has taught you to get right to the point."
He fixed his father with a hard stare and motioned for him to continue.
"Tell me Lex. Why were you at the Kents for the holidays?"
His face most likely betrayed him, but he kept his voice calm, while inside he
was frantically figuring out how his father had found out.
"They invited me, why?"
Lionel summoned the waiter over and ordered a bottle of Highland, then looked
at Lex sternly—all mockery gone from his eyes.
"You mean Clark Kent invited you. Sweet boy from what I remember, very
handsome."
"What are you getting at Dad?" He felt his face getting warmer—he knew where
this was going.
"I think you know Lex. Is this the reason you threw away everything you were
groomed to be—to chase after cute little boys? And I've met Jonathan Kent—if
you think he'll let you defile his precious child without putting a bullet in
you, then you've grossly misjudged their affability. This is your senior year
at Excelsior all over again."
Anger exploded him now, and he tried his best to keep his voice down, but he
wasn't very successful.
"You are way out of line Dad. He is nothing more than a student and at most a
friend. I don't know why you're doing this, but you're going too far. I've done
nothing wrong."
Lex was practically hissing at his father now and it took all his reserve not
to walk out of the restaurant, or at worse, punch him in the face.
"I'm sure you haven't, but you want to. You forget how well I know you."
Lex grabbed his head as anger was giving way to utter exasperation. Did anyone
deserve this as a father?
"Where are you going with this Dad?"
Lionel picked up the menu and began studying it. "I took care of your little
scandal at Excelsior, managed to keep it out of the papers, and paid off the
faculty, but I'm not sure even I'd be able to help you this time Lex. The Kents
are powerful in their own way, and a little more sympathetic than we are."
Lex pulled the menu away; completely annoyed his father was saying such insane
things and not even having the courtesy to look at him.
"You're being insane even for you. Like I said; Clark is just my student,
nothing more, and that "scandal" as you like to call it, wasn't really a
scandal. It was about you not wanting the world to know that your son is gay."
Lionel shrugged. "I still think you just haven't been fucked properly by a
woman."
Lex stood up, and grabbed his coat. "I'm not doing this Dad. Whatever this is,
I'm not doing it."
Lionel grabbed his arm. "All I'm saying son is if something does happen to
jeopardize your position as a teacher, there's always a place for you at Luthor
Corp."
Lex leaned his very close to his father and with all the venom he could muster,
said "Fuck you Dad."
He left the restaurant as quickly as his feet would allow, turning sharply away
from his hotel. He wanted to scream with rage, and at the injustice that his
father even existed, but it wouldn't do any good. He knew that one way or the
other Lionel Luthor always got what he wanted; and he was terrified.
===============================================================================
After leaving his disastrous lunch with Chloe, Clark drove around the outskirts
of Smallville for a few hours before finding himself in front of Natalie's
house. He sat in her driveway trying to will himself to push the accelerator
and head home, but his hands wouldn't even turn the key. He'd spent most of the
day inside of his own confusion, crawling deeper and deeper until everything
felt dark and chaotic, and he just wanted a moment of peace—to simply feel and
shut off his brain.
Natalie spotted him from her window but she didn't come out. He glanced up at
her, watching as she patiently let him make up his mind. With an exasperated
sigh, he climbed out of his truck and walked towards the front door.
===============================================================================
Martha Kent picked up a third potato after ruining the first two. If her
husband noticed she was distracted lately, he didn't say anything. Chances are
he didn't notice. The beginning of the year was a very busy and stressful time
for him as he reconciled their company's profits against projections. So far,
they'd been very blessed and never ended up in the red, but they were never
ones to count on things magically working out in their favor. Maybe he assumed
that's why she was distracted, but the reason she couldn't seem to cut up a
potato correctly to make a simple dauphinoise for dinner had to do with a very
complicated sixteen year old boy.
She knew her son far too well not to notice his mood had shifted drastically
since the New Year's party. It wasn't great before, but he seemed happy to be
home and always had an easy smile for everyone. Now they scarcely saw him
unless they caught him before he headed out to the barn, or hopped in his new
SUV. Pete had called twice saying he couldn't reach Clark on his cell.
The other day she'd seen Clark walking out of the barn with his date to the New
Year's party, and she'd smiled then, thinking Clark was simply pre-occupied
with a girl. But he never mentioned her and never brought her up to the house
to meet them. Something was definitely wrong and whatever it was, Clark wasn't
saying a word.
"Making Clark's favorite huh? Are you thinking that's going to bring our mopey
teen home for dinner?"
Martha looked up, her expression causing her husband's face to fall.
"Martha…you worry too much. I'm sure he's just hanging out with his friends. He
hasn't seen them in months. Of course he'd rather spend time with them; you
can't take this personally."
Martha shook her head, wishing her husband would acknowledge something was
wrong with Clark, because she knew her husband too—he noticed, whether he was
ready to admit it or not.
She began determinedly slicing the potato, trying not to get angry with her
husband.
"Jonathan, Clark isn't acting like himself, and I don't think its because he
wants to hang out with his friends."
Jonathan stopped trying to make lite of the situation when he saw how worried
she was. He knew something was up with their son, but he hoped it was simply
everything he's had to deal with lately catching up with him.
"Look, Clark will come to us when he's ready, with whatever is bothering him,
for now, if he needs space, then we'll give it to him. He's a good kid, I'm
sure he's not doing anything we really need to worry about."
Martha wasn't convinced. "I hope you're right." She wanted to mention the girl,
but she could tell her husband wasn't in the mood for added stress.
"I'm going back to the books. Call me when dinner's ready... and honey, don't
worry about Clark. Whatever it is, we'll get through it—we always do." He
leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, then disappeared back into his office.
===============================================================================
When Clark arrived home a few hours later, the wonderful smell of butter,
potatoes and cheese hit him as he pulled up to the back of the house. His plan
was to run up the back stairs to shower and head back to the barn, but the
smell reminded him he'd skipped dinner every day this week. He'd fallen in love
with the French dish of crispy potatoes layered with butter and cheese when his
parents took him to the French countryside one year when they were looking for
new products for the stores. He realized it was his mother's gentle way of
reminding him he still had a family, and they still expected to see him once in
a while.
He sped upstairs straight to the shower, and then dressed quickly. A few runs
at full-speed around the property would dry his hair in seconds, but he decided
against it and headed to the kitchen.
"Well, I do still have a son!" His mother's cheery voice greeted him as he
walked in.
He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
"Sorry Mom, I guess I've been busy."
She gave him a gentle squeeze. "Its ok, I know you're father and I aren't as
exciting as your friends here. But since we only have you for a couple more
weeks, we'd like to see more of you."
Clark looked away, fighting to keep his face neutral when she mentioned their
limited time before school started again. There was definitely something he
needed to talk to them about, and the current conversation didn't make it any
easier. He'd come to the realization that he just didn't want to be there
anymore. Dealing with his friends, Natalie and everything just felt tiring and
overwhelming. For the first time in his life the farm wasn't a safe haven for
him, and he wasn't sure if that meant he was growing up, or things were worse
than he realized. Excelsior sat empty with the exception of a small handful of
staff and the quiet stone buildings suddenly seemed very inviting.
He wolfed down three helpings of the dish, much to his mother's delight, but
the conversation was stilted at best. His father was clearly preoccupied with
the business; his mother danced around whatever it was she really wanted to say
to him, and he avoided pretty much every subject that had to do with his
friends, school, or his secret girlfriend. It left very little to talk about.
After the second piece of apple pie, Clark gulped down a glass of milk, trying
to round up the courage to ask what he needed to ask. As soon as he saw his
father was about to get up and disappear back into his office, Clark just
blurted it out.
"Dad..before you go, can I ask you guys something?"
Jonathan sat back down, trying to read Clark's expression. "Sure son, what is
it?"
"I um…Is it ok if maybe I go back to school early?"
That was the last thing they expected. "What? Why?"
"I just…."
He really hadn't thought this through. Did he expect his parents to just say
"Sure son, whatever you want"? No, they would want an explanation and he didn't
have the foresight to plan one. The truth left him with a few options; one—he
couldn't stop having sex with a girl he barely knew and feared he was becoming
a sex maniac and needed to get as far away as possible; two—the reason he spent
time with Natalie was to ward off very confusing thoughts and feelings about
Lex that may or may not involve both of them naked; or three—He didn't know if
he could relate to his friends anymore, and, oh yea, Chloe was mad at him for
not remaining chaste until he married or until he allowed her to deflower him.
None of those were very good options, so right now, he was at a lost.
He shrugged finally, hoping whatever came out of his mouth would land somewhere
between a half-truth and a lie.
"I don't know….there's a lot of work I want to get done before school starts,
and I haven't really been getting along with any of my friends here since I got
back. To be honest being here makes me feel worse."
It wasn't lost on either of his parents that he avoided looking at them
directly. His mother glanced at his father who shared her look of concern.
"Clark, I don't like the idea of you being at school all by yourself with no
supervision."
Martha decided she'd talk to Clark alone later. His father was just too
distracted and on edge to handle Clark gently right now, and she sensed
whatever was going on with him needed an easy touch.
"Some faculty will be there, and a few students. They have a couple of classes
during the break—Winterim."
His father looked at him, clearly confused. "Clark, I don't understand. All
this time you've only tolerated being there, and now you want to leave home
early to go back?"
"I know it doesn't make any sense…home just feels weird, I don't know why."
Jonathan sighed and got up. "Well, your mother and I will talk it over, but if
you really think this is what you want to do, I guess we can't really object.
I'm calling the school in the morning to see if it's even an option." He looked
at Clark like he wanted to say something else, but walked back towards his
office instead.
He looked at his mother. "I'm sorry Mom…"
She smiled and kissed his head. "Its ok sweetheart. Why don't you clear the
table for me?"
Clark went to move but his mother stopped him.
"Clark….whats going on with you? Why can't you talk to us about it? Does it
have anything to do with that girl you've been seeing?"
Clark immediately colored at the mention of the girl, and a large part of him
wanted to confess everything to his mother, but the words never made it past
his throat.
"I…I promise you Mom, its nothing bad."
"Why doesn't that make me feel better? I hate that you think you can't talk to
us about this. You know there's nothing you can't tell us that could ever
change how we feel about you."
Clark couldn't help but think she wouldn't be saying that if she knew what it
was. Though he wasn't sure which thing he was referring to—the lusting after
his bald, very male teacher, or having sex with a girl he barely knew. Neither
was within the realm of what his parents knew to be "their son."
He swallowed hard—he hated how easily he became emotional lately.
"Its….embarrassing more than anything, and a little sad, I guess. Honestly Mom,
I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe its some weird Kryptonian puberty….but
please don't worry. I'm fine, I swear."
Martha reached over and brushed his bangs off his forehead. All she could do
now is trust him, and trust that they raised him as well as they hoped.
"Ok…Well I'm going upstairs. We'll talk about you going back to school in the
morning. Don't forget to clean up." She kissed him and walked out of the room.
Clark cleaned the kitchen at full speed, anxious to get upstairs and pack. He
felt oddly relieved to be returning to school soon—though part of him wondered
how easy it would be to book a flight to Paris without his parents finding out.
***** Chapter 20 *****
Chapter Notes
     So i'd love to know what everything thinks of this particular
     chapter. Please feel free to comment, good or bad. :)
The next morning Clark sat in his loft with his laptop open next to him. He’d
made sure to get up well before his parents, hoping they’d sleep in since
neither of them planned to work that week.  One page was open to a site
displaying all available flights leaving out of Kansas City that day, and the
other was open to his bank account. He’d already checked his miles on two
airlines, and had figured out he could use them for at least half the price of
the ticket on either.  His savings account showed a balance of $5100 and
change. He didn’t dare use his Amex card, because they alerted his parents
about any charge over $1000. Was he really doing this? He shut his laptop and
wrung his hand through his hair roughly.  He stared at the glowing Apple symbol
hoping it would provide him with answers, as he pulled the laptop open again. 
The pages still sat there, waiting for him to make up his mind.
His pulse quickened as he moved half the money into his checking account. This
was crazy; his parents would kill him, and more importantly—this was crazy.
He pulled his bankcard out of his wallet and placed next to his laptop. There
was still time to change his mind; he hadn't done anything irreversible yet.
But he was already checking to see if he could get a flight out that night, or
the next morning at the latest. The sensible part of his brain seemed to be
ignoring him as he chose an outbound and inbound flight. The first flight left
around 4pm out of Kansas City, MO, meaning he had plenty of time to drive to
school and leave his SUV there, then run to the airport. He'd arrive in Paris
the next morning.
After booking his flights and trying not to think about the dent to his bank
account, he quickly grabbed his bags and left the farm before he changed his
mind. He'd eventually have to explain the debit to his parents—and explain why
he bought a plane ticket to Paris at all. Again—crazy, but he'd worry about his
parents later. He couldn't explain what drove him to fly across the world to
see Lex, but he knew it had to be done. He needed to see him away from school,
and away from everything. The constant anxiety and confusion was driving him
insane and he needed some sort of closure one way or the other. As he pulled
his car onto the main highway, he hoped Lex wouldn't turn him away.
===============================================================================
 
Several hours and time zones later he arrived at Charles De Gaulle Airport. It
was early morning in Paris and surprisingly busy. Clark ducked through the
crowds and pulled together as much as he knew from his visits there and high
school French to ask politely where he could find transportation to the city.
 He remembered Lex saying how much he loved the Marais district. Only a few
boutique hotels dotted the neighborhood, and knowing Lex , he chose the most
expensive one to start with. After grabbing a few euros from an ATM, he grabbed
a taxi and within an hour he was standing in the Marias district trying to find
the first hotel on his short list—L’hotel Duo.
He'd always loved Paris, and his brain weren't so exhausted he'd take in how
beautiful the city was as it just began to wake. As a family they always stayed
at a large hotel near the Eiffel Tower, but this neighborhood was quiet and
small and mostly full of Parisians starting their day.
He turned onto Rue Du Temple and spotted L'hotel Duo at the end of the block.
As he made his approach, the main doors of the hotel opened and Lex stepped
out, completely oblivious to Clark standing just feet away. Lex crossed the
street and walked into the café at the corner. Now what? Clark just stood there
unsure of what to do. Suddenly faced with the reality of everything he was at a
loss. He decided the best thing to do was go to the hotel and wait. At least
then he didn't have to face Lex immediately.
===============================================================================
 
If the staff at the hotel thought it strange a young American boy sat in their
lobby, they didn't say anything. He loved how the French never asked any
questions—he could have said he was waiting for his 40 yr old married lover and
they wouldn't have batted an eye. About 20 minutes later, Lex walked through
the door. He didn't see Clark, and proceeded straight to the elevator bay, but
was stopped by the concierge who pointed in Clark's direction and mumbled
something in French. Lex was about to wave him off until he looked in his
direction. Clark wanted to laugh at the look on Lex's face, but he was too
worried about the quick flash of anger that appeared, quickly followed by
exasperation. It wasn't until he said the glint of happiness that Lex quickly
tried to suppress that he felt confident enough to step forward.
"What are you doing here, Clark?"
Clark looked momentarily stunned. What washe doing there?
"I, um…"
Lex grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him towards the elevator, praying it
came quickly before he exploded at Clark right in the lobby.
His mind was racing. Of all the scenarios he imagined, this definitely was not
among them. He never thought he'd walk into his hotel in Paris and find Clark
standing in the lobby. The ride to the penthouse level was excruciating, with
him trying to calm the thousand questions spinning in his head and Clark
fidgeting next to him turning redder by the moment.
He walked briskly to his hotel door, with Clark following solemnly behind him.
He hadn't said a word since his small attempt in the lobby, and Lex could feel
the tension coming off him in waves. He shut the door and looked at Clark, who
drifted towards the windows. Clark could see the Eiffel Tower in the distance,
and the sight seemed to seal his resolve—he'd come all this way, so there was
no point in chickening out now.
"It really is beautiful here…"
"I'm glad you like the view. Now do you mind telling me what you think you're
doing? Do you parents know you're here?"
Clark shook his head. "I guess I didn't think this through, but I wanted to see
you before school started…and this really seemed like a good idea 14 hrs ago."
"And now?"
Clark sighed and sat on the window seat. "Now…I don't know, but I'm tired of
over-thinking everything. I've been driving myself crazy since you left,
wondering about…everything. I guess I just need to know."
This was dangerous, very, very dangerous. Lex wasn't in a good place right now.
He'd been fantasizing about Clark for days; bringing home every boy in Paris
that resembled him—which is why he thought the concierge pointed Clark out in
the lobby; he probably thought he'd make the perfect conquest. Now Clark sat in
front of him, flushed and beautiful, with that earnest frown on his face that
always made his lips pout slightly. And his father was there, toying with him,
bringing out his rebellious side. For once he'd like life to hand him a break.
Maybe it just had.
"Need to know what, Clark?"
He just needed to just say it. " I'm…I'm attracted you. I think. I mean I am, I
must be. I keep thinking about you all the time, and nothing has worked. I mean
I tried. I tried to have a girlfriend, and it didn't work; it just made
everything more confusing."
"Clark, slow down..."
He'd gotten up, and moved towards Lex, everything was coming out in a rush.
"No, Lex…I mean, I know you're attracted to me too. I mean we kind of made out
in the loft, and ever since then, nothing makes any sense. I know you think its
wrong, because you're my teacher—but…it doesn't feel wrong. Every thing else
does."
Lex ran his hand over his head. For once he wished he had hair to yank in
frustration. If Clark weren't his 16 yr old student, his flying across the
ocean and declaring how he felt would be such an incredibly romantic gesture
that he would have immediately thrown him down on the bed. But that was the
last thing either of them needed right now.
He walked over and gently put his hands on Clark's shoulders. "Sit."
Clark obeyed, feeling a little dejected. "If it makes you feel better I'm not
a…I mean I already…."
Lex sighed. "It doesn't make me feel better that you can't even say it."
"Look, you must be starving. I'll let you deal with your parents, but for now,
just calm down, and I'll order room service. Then you'll take a shower, relax
and then we'll see how you feel. Ok?"
Clark just nodded; nothing at all was going like he planned.
===============================================================================
 
They ended up at a café a few blocks from the hotel. Clark looked like he'd
come out of his skin if he stayed inside another moment, so Lex thought maybe a
walk would do them both good. On the way, Lex pointed out a few important
buildings and shops, giving Clark an impromptu history lesson in Parisian
architecture. Clark listened politely, though he wasn't learning anything new.
He'd been there a few times since his childhood, and with both his parents
always trying to extract an education out of everything they did, he learned a
lot about Paris and its beautiful facades. But the chatter served a purpose and
he wasn't about to interrupt it.
Now they sat upstairs in the cafe near large windows overlooking the square
below. Clark was finishing up his Steak Au Poivre and his second glass of wine.
Lex didn't blink when he asked for it, and ordered one for himself. Maybe the
wine acted like a placebo, because Clark felt more relaxed now than he had
earlier even though alcohol had no affect on him. He was happy to see Lex
again; he'd missed him. Now that some of the pretense was gone, they'd fallen
back into their easy conversations. Lex regaled him with stories about a summer
he'd spent there when he was sixteen. It made Clark feel a little better about
his own recent rebellious streak. It also made him wish he'd known Lex at that
age. Maybe if he could melt the years between them, everything would be
perfect. He smiled brightly as Lex finished his story, and Lex returned his
smile, in that slightly crooked way of his, and it almost felt like the last
couple weeks never happened.
 
===============================================================================
 
Neither one of them spoke of the odd way Clark turned up in Paris, or the even
odder conversation they had in the hotel room. They just wandered all over the
city together; going to a few of the smaller museums Lex preferred. He watched
Clark wander through the garden of sculptures at the Rodin museum and knew he'd
imagined this scene many times during his few days in Paris. He was indulging
his own fantasy and right now he didn't care. He never imagined any of this
could happen, he wasn't passing up the opportunity to enjoy the most innocent
part of it.
They watched the sun slip down behind Notre Dame, and then headed back to the
hotel. Clark stopped in the lobby, letting the weight of reality settle in his
brow. He reached in his backpack, walking awkwardly towards the front desk.
Lex watched him, puzzled. "Clark, what are you doing?"
He turned around, avoiding his eyes. "Praying a room in this place won't empty
the rest of my bank account…"
"You're staying with me, don't be ridiculous."
Clark tried not to look as relieved as he felt. "You sure? I mean its not like
you were expecting me. I didn't want to assume…"
Lex shook his head. "Get in the elevator."
===============================================================================
 
Lex told Clark he could shower first, a decision he immediately regretted when
Clark emerged from the bathroom, skin glistening with water, wearing only a
towel. Lex watched as Clark dug around in his overnight bag for something to
put on. It was maddening how oblivious he could be sometimes. Lex got up
abruptly and headed for the bathroom, shutting the door a little loudly behind
him.
Clark slipped on a pair of boxers and climbed in the bed. It occurred to him
that he probably should sleep in more than boxers since he wasn't at home, but
Lex walked out of the bathroom the moment he considered getting up and he
wasn't sure if walking around in just his boxers was worse.
Lex took in Clark lounging in the only bed in the room, flipping on the TV.
Again he wondered when life would get easier.
"I guess I'll take the couch."
Clark shrugged. "The bed's huge, we can probably share it."
"Clark…"
Clark smiled at him. "I promise I won't try anything."
Lex grabbed one of the pillows and hit him with it, and Clark erupted into a
rare giggle.
They settled in, watching 'Independence Day' dubbed in French. Lex was just
about to ask if he thought Wil Smith's voice double sounded like a weird poodle
when he noticed Clark had gone quiet. He looked over to see if he'd fallen
asleep and was met with the most intense look he'd ever seen in those green/
blue eyes. Clark's expression was unreadable—somewhere between gentle and
earnest. His eyes widened for a moment as he carefully reached his hand towards
Lex's patch of exposed skin.
Clark frowned a little, never taking his eyes off him. "Lex…?"
There was no real plan, he wasn’t even sure what led to that moment, but he’d
started now and he didn’t intend to turn back. What he felt terrified him as
much as it excited him and he needed to know if any of it was real.
Lex knew it was wrong, terribly wrong, but all the warnings screaming in his
head were ignored. He'd played out this scene too many times in his dreams;
reenacted it too many times with nameless boys. The minute Clark looked at him
with those lidded eyes, dark with what he hoped was lust—the warnings never
stood a chance.
He grabbed his hand, and pulled Clark towards him, roughly taking his mouth in
his. All his resolve was gone. His body took over his brain as he let Clark
push his nightshirt off his shoulders clumsily. Lex slipped his hand beneath
the waist of Clark’s boxers, and Clark moaned loudly. His skin was covered in
sheen of sweat and felt almost hot to the touch.
Clark took deep breaths, trying his best to keep his mind present enough not to
set Lex on fire, but it was difficult. The pleasure overwhelmed him, almost as
much as, the fear, but he kept going; encouraging Lex with hands that grew more
confident with every touch. He wasn’t sure when his boxers were removed, but
soon Lex had the entire length of him in his mouth and he knew whatever he
thought he'd experienced with Natalie, was nothing compared to this. He
squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best to will the threatening heat, away.
He forced himself to give in to everything he was feeling; to just relax, and
soon the heat behind his lids slowly receded, and he was crying out, exploding
down Lex’s throat.  Lex continued sucking him gently, coaxing the rest of his
orgasm out of him. Clark could feel the heat building again, but unlike before
the momentum was stronger. He began squirming, trying to pull away from the
intense pleasure, but Lex continued thinking he was simply overcome.  The
burning behind his eyes intensified and he realized in a panic he couldn’t
contain it. He threw his arm across his eyes, gasping as a small burst of heat
singed him. Clark pulled away from Lex quickly, mumbling a panicked “No!..” and
scrambled off the bed, disappearing into the bathroom.  
He stood in the shower praying that it stopped as he turned the cold water on
full blast and stood under the spray.  There was actual steam rising around him
as the cold water hit his overheated skin. It took all he had not to dissolve
into heavy sobs and run out the window into the streets of Paris. Maybe he was
fast enough to run across water. He took a deep breath trying hard to calm
down, but in the next moment he felt the heat settle behind his eyes again, too
quick for him to react.  He heard the air sizzle around him, and a small
cracking sound.
The pounding his chest quickened as he slowly opened his eyes to see a long
black scorch against the pristine white subway tiles. He sank down to the floor
of the shower and dropped his head on his knees, whispering the only expletive
appropriate in this impossible situation.  How would he explain that? He drew
his knees in tighter, praying his heart stopped trying to fight its way out of
his chest. But the pounding he felt wasn’t the one in his chest, but fists
against the door, with a pleading, panicked voice on the other side. He should
have answered Lex; reassured him somehow that none of it was his fault, but he
had no energy to speak and remained where he was.
Lex tried the door handle; it wasn’t locked. “Clark…I’m coming in, OK?”
Clark didn’t answer; just kept his head down as he listened to Lex’s unsure
footsteps enter the bathroom.
The moment when all your fears are realized is never a great one. You think
you’ll react fine, assess the situation with a clear head and just get on with
it. But reality is quite different. 
Lex stood in the middle of the bathroom, staring into the glass shower at his
friend—his 16 yr old friend and student—who sat huddled, wet and naked on the
tile floor, visibly shaken.  His first thought was even Lionel wasn’t capable
of this.
“Clark?  I…are you…?” Shit!
He noticed the long black streak on the shower wall, and the slightly cracked
tile beneath it that definitely wasn’t there that morning.
“Clark…what happened? Did you…”
That brought Clark’s head up quickly, and the look in his eyes made Lex want
shrink into the floor. They held pure pain and desperation and he’d been the
one to put it there. 
Clark shook his head adamantly, somehow guessing what Lex must be thinking.
“No, Lex, its not you…Its not…I can’t Lex, I’m sorry I just can’t…”
Clark thought he might be crying now—he honestly couldn’t tell. He hoped he not
because that would be even more mortifying.
Lex said nothing, just opened the shower door and reached over and turned off
the water. He grabbed a towel and then the very fluffy robe hanging by the door
and held them both out to Clark.
“Come on, just get out of there….”
Clark nodded and rose, not caring that he faced Lex completely naked, and
stepped out of the shower.  He took the towel and flung it across his head and
slipped the robe onto his shoulders.  Lex put a tentative hand on him,
surprised when Clark didn’t shy away from his touch and led him out of the
bathroom. Lex glanced back at the shower, looking at the black charred tiles
wondering what on earth just happened.
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 21 *****
Lex sat in a chair watching Clark’s fitful sleep.  He’d finally gotten Clark to
calm down enough to lie in bed and within minutes he’d fallen asleep.  No
answers were offered for the incident in the shower, and one look at Clark’s
face kept him from pushing the issue. So much happened in a short span of time
and Lex’s head spun with too many thoughts. For one he had just sucked off his
student; his friend and more importantly his 16 yr old friend.  It was done. 
The ease with which it happened terrified him, because what next?  Would
morning come and he’d find a willing Clark splayed beneath him with his cock up
his ass? Lex shook his head, trying to clear the panic that was setting in. 
Then there was the long jagged crack in the shower with the scorch mark across
it—the air still smelled faintly of smoke, with no fire to speak of. Only a
frightened boy sitting in the middle of the shower floor looking more shattered
than the tiles. Clark actually trembled when he hastily put his boxers on,
neglecting any other clothes while he walked agitatedly around the room, wet
hair dripping water that ran in long ripples down his back. Eventually he
yanked Clark onto the bed and began to towel dry his hair roughly. He’d been
too upset with himself to hold his frustration in check. As he yanked Clark’s
hair, he was sure he must have hurt him, but Clark didn’t even flinch, just sat
there trying to calm his breathing, while Lex took out his frustrations in the
simple act of drying his hair.
After a few minutes of trying to rip Clark’s hair from his skull, Clark mumbled
“sorry” as he always did, shaking his head slightly, realizing how ridiculous
he must look. He looked up suddenly, staring at Lex for a long moment, a
question in his eyes, like there was something he needed to say, but then
returned to staring at the floor, until Lex gently, finally, laid him down on
the pillow and told him to sleep.
Now he watched the rise and fall of Clark’s smooth chest knowing if he dared
climb into bed, Clark wouldn’t wake up a virgin.
 
===============================================================================
 
Hi Mom, Hi Dad, I guess you're wondering why the background is a little
different this time. Could I convince you that Excelsior has taken on a new
Parisian theme? I didn't think so. So, behind me is the…I think that's the
Louis XVI bridge, but its kind of dark—X-ray vision isn't really that helpful
at night. So…yea, I'm in Paris. I know you're probably freaking out. I'm
freaking out—this is probably the craziest thing I've ever done right? I
honestly don't do too many crazy things, not intentionally anyway. I know that
money is for something really important—but 24 hrs ago this was really
important. I wish I could explain but…I've been hiding so much from you, its
just made me feel completely alone. I hate it. But how can I tell you the
truth? I've been so scared for months, and so tired, confused and I don't feel
like myself at all, or maybe I don't know who I am anymore. The truth is, I
came here because of Lex. I think—or I thought I…, well not love, but I care
about him very much, and I was really attracted to him and nothing made sense,
so I thought if I came here, away from everything—from home, from school, that
I could get some answers. Things didn't go as I planned, or maybe it is what I
planned, but I nothing ended up the way I thought... God…I've kept so much from
you! First Natalie….you guys would be so disappointed. You've always taught me
that being intimate with someone was special, that it meant so much and
shouldn't be taken lightly and now I know you were right, and I'm sorry I ever
got involved with her. No one told me that once you start, its….its hard to
stop. I know I'm saying things without saying them, but I'm sort of in shock
right now. It wasn't what I thought and I can't believe I didn't learn my
lesson with Natalie, I just thought this would feel right, but now I feel like
I've ruined everything and there's no way back from this. I feel more alone
than ever….I just…..
Clark put the camera down and wiped furiously at his eyes. He wasn't even sure
when the tears started. It all came pouring out of him in an emotional rush,
everything he'd been thinking and holding in, everything he'd been feeling. But
he didn't feel better. He felt this crushing weight around him-this emptiness
and it scared him. He didn't know what to do with it. He shut the camera off,
knowing he never had any intention of sending it. He just needed to say it. For
the first time in his life there was nowhere to turn for comfort or a
reassuring hand. For the first time, he feared he had no one.
He wandered around the city for hours, with only the sound of his own footsteps
to keep him company. By the time he found himself on the same block as the
hotel the sky had begun to brighten. He glanced across the street hoping the
faint smell of warm bread meant the café was open this early, but its front
windows were black. He pushed down the instinct to run and walked towards the
hotel.
The room was empty when he entered, and for a moment he felt relief until he
heard the shower turn on. Hoping Lex took a long time in the bathroom, he
climbed onto the window seat, stretching his long limbs out on the expansive
sill, and let the implications of everything finally sink in.
He thought sex with Natalie prepared him for sex with Lex; which he now knew
was a completely ridiculous notion. It couldn't have been more different. The
intensity of the pleasure was such a shock that he’d lost control—then went
into a complete panic. He barely remembered running into the bathroom at all.
Then only fear overwhelmed him and he didn’t know which the greater fear
was—hurting Lex or Lex discovering what he was. He wished he could say hurting
Lex was the dominant fear, but he knew the way he panicked and ultimately shut
down when faced with the cracked tiles he couldn’t hide—that revealing his
secret won out. Part of him cursed his parents for drilling into him from such
an early age how detrimental someone discovering his true nature would be. He
understood their concerns, especially when he was too young to fully understand
the danger. But what it created was this blind panic that immediately clouded
his judgment when faced with anyone finding out the truth about him. 
Lex emerged from the shower a few minutes later, wearing a robe that he closed
as soon as he noticed Clark sitting in the window. He stopped and held his gaze
for a moment before walking to the closet to retrieve his clothes.
"I was about to send out a search party. Where'd you go all night?"
Lex discarded his robe, though the closet door kept him partially obscured from
Clark's view.
"I'm sorry if I made you worry, I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk."
Lex emerged from the closet wearing simple black pants and a deep crimson
shirt. He left it unbuttoned and walked over to Clark.
Clark visibly stiffened as he approached, but Lex ignored it. He decided when
he woke that morning that the worse thing he could do was to indulge Clark's
anxiety and embarrassment. He wished last night had never happened, but the
fact was it had, and he knew Clark's immediate temptation would be to act like
nothing had. A tactic Lex was more than willing to go along with, but he knew
if he pretended something as huge as this was nothing, it would hurt Clark
more, whether Clark realized it or not.
So he leaned in and gave Clark a light kiss on the lips, which he returned.
"That was a long walk, but I imagine you had a lot to think about."
Clark stared out the window and nodded.
Lex sat down on the bed across him. “So..do you want to talk about the ruined
tile in the shower?”
Lex watched the color drain from Clark’s face, as he tried and failed to make
words form. He squirmed a bit, looking Lex in the eye, then quickly returning
his gaze to the window.
Lex just nodded, but didn’t push the issue. “Its fine Clark…I’m not worried
about it—not as much as you seem to be…”
Clark remained silent, and Lex got up from the bed to finish dressing.
He stopped in the middle of the room, realizing he was approaching this
completely wrong. He sighed and sat in the chair across from Clark.
“Listen…last night shouldn't have happened, and I'm sure you're feeling that
way right now."
Clark shook his head, finding his voice suddenly "I don't know what I'm
feeling…"
"I didn't think I could trust myself around you, and I was right. Something as
important as this never should have happened the way it did, and I'm sorry I
let it get to that point. But I can promise you, it won't happen again."
Clark didn't know what he expected Lex to say, but he couldn't let him bare all
the responsibility.
"I'm the one that initiated it Lex, if its anyone's fault its mine."
Lex shook his head, Clark was nothing if not consistent, if there was blame to
go around, he'd shoulder it.
"You're a kid Clark…."
Clark got up from the sill, moving slightly too fast before he caught himself.
He was agitated now. After everything, if Lex was going back to this whole
stance of him being too young to understand, he didn't know if he could take
it.
"You didn't think of me as a kid last night, so stop saying that! And I'm not
trying to say it was right, or that I'm ok with it, but I don't need you to
take the blame and tell me I'm some dumb kid that didn't know any better!" He
was yelling now; the anger seemed to come out of nowhere.
Lex got up, sighing, thinking that Clark was just proving his point.
"Clark, you need to calm down Ok. Shouting first thing in the morning in a
hotel isn't a good idea, even in Paris."
Clark took a deep breath, mumbling, "sorry," and sat heavily in on the bed,
looking slightly defeated.
Lex wanted to grab a mirror and hold it up to Clark and show him his flushed
cheeks and petulant mouth and ask him why he shouldn't call him a kid. But
instead he walked over and picked up Clark cell phone sitting on the night
stand and tossed it to him.
"Your parents called twice while you were out. I'm going to go out on a limb
and say they don't know you're here. Why don't you call them back, let them
know you're Ok."
Clark wanted to punch Lex. He knew exactly what point he was trying to make—
adults don't need to check in with their parents; adults don't sneak off to
Paris.
Lex saw the look Clark was leveling at him and realized things had gone far off
course.
"Look, Clark, I'm sorry, I was trying to reassure you and instead I'm
belittling you, and I don't want to do that. What happened last night scared
me, mainly because I let it happen so easily. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy
it—of course I did, but I'm not sure you did, and that's what I'm really sorry
about."
"I did…part of it. It just wasn't…it was more…it wasn't what I expected." Clark
ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. 
There was no point in continuing the conversation, and Lex could tell he didn't
want to talk about it, so he decided not to push it any more.
Lex switched to being all business again. "I booked a flight for you this
afternoon, back to Kansas. I arranged for a car to meet you at the airport to
take you to school. I'll be here for another week, and I'll decide what I'm
going to do."
Clark looked up, slightly alarmed. "Do about what?"
"I just have a few decisions to make.
 The next few hours were perhaps the longest Clark had ever experienced. He
didn't object to Lex arranging his flight, and went quietly with barely a
goodbye. Neither of them spoke much the rest of their time together, and Clark
stayed out of his way, wandering around the neighborhood until it was time to
leave for the airport. If he admitted it; he was pretty angry at Lex—mainly for
how badly he was handling all of it. He understood that he felt ashamed he'd
given into obviously long pinned up desires, but to dismiss Clark with such
finality felt mean and self-centered, and Clark found himself thinking a phrase
he never imagined he'd think "what do you expect from a Luthor."
===============================================================================
 
It felt stranger than he anticipated being back at an empty school. The holiday
snowfall still blanketed the grounds giving eeriness to the quiet. Everything
seemed covered in gloom. All he needed to do now was turn on some Radiohead and
slump lifelessly across his bed and the angsty teenager image would be
complete. He thought being away from everything that tempted him would bring
him some peace. But now all he felt was incredibly lonely and really sick of
himself.
 He promised to call his parents as soon as he arrived, but not trusting his
voice, he sent them both a simple text explaining instead. His mother responded
by telling him they were calling him tomorrow and he'd better answer his phone.
She ended with a smiley face, but he knew she hadn't been smiling on the other
end
What really bothered him the most was his stubbornness in Paris; maybe if he'd
told Lex the truth, instead arguing, he could have made them both feel better
about the entire situation. Though was it really that easy? He knew Lex
suspected something—maybe he had all along, but people rarely react how they
think they will in the moment. Clark shook his head, very tired all of a
sudden. He stripped out of his clothes and climbed into bed, trying and failing
miserably, not to think of a bald guy in Paris.
===============================================================================
 
Having a mostly empty campus did provide some freedom. Clark found that if he
wandered just past the trees that lined the property he could safely run at top
speed without worrying about being seen. It felt good to use his abilities
again. He always felt more like himself when he did; in every other moment he
held back—like he was constantly holding his breath. While he ran, nothing
mattered; not Lex, his parents, his friends; nothing—there was only the
constant wind against his skin as the earth blurred around him.
He stopped on the outskirts of the campus by a small lake, mostly frozen
now—the only indication to Clark how cold it must be outside. He'd remembered
to put his wool coat on, but hadn't bothered to button it, and it billowed
behind him as the cold air blew fiercely through the trees. He often wondered
what different temperatures felt like. He knew as a small child he felt cold or
hot at times, but now it was a faint memory. Cold reminded him of
something…dry, and heat felt wetter somehow, but that's all he could manage.
His mother tried to explain it to him once when he was 10, during the throes of
a record-breaking heat wave that summer in Smallville. He kept trying to
understand what his friends, who only wanted to swim in Crater Lake those days,
were feeling.
Life was so simple when his biggest problem was trying to explain why he didn't
sweat buckets outside like everyone else. He smirked grimly. The conversation
he had with his mother earlier was a lot more complicated.
She called first thing that morning, explaining the only reason his father
wasn't on the line was because he didn't trust himself to do anything other
than yell at him right now. Clark felt his stomach drop at that—it was rare his
father was so angry with him that he couldn't even speak to him. It'd only
happened once before. So his mother—with her voice terser than he'd ever
remembered, told him how incredibly disappointing and irresponsible his actions
were. All access to his accounts was restricted since he obviously couldn't be
trusted.
 He didn't mind, he rarely spent his money anyway, and he really couldn't argue
with her. His actions were irresponsible, but in that moment, sitting in his
car, booking the tickets, nothing else seemed to matter. The notion that was
the behavior of a love-sick idiot kept creeping into his thoughts. In the end
he apologized profusely and told yet another lie about his reasons for
going—saying Braden called and said he’d be in Paris for a few days before
school started and he should come—and he thought they would tell him no. He
wanted to keep Lex out of it as long as he could. Despite them being well-off
business owners, he had no doubt his father would show up at Excelsior with his
largest shotgun if he knew the truth.
Clark absently burned neat little holes in the ice with his heat-vision, until
he got bored. He watched the ice crack and spread as the surface warmed with
each new blast, then shoved his hands in his coat pocket and took off back
towards the dorms at a very slow pace.
When he entered his dorm room there was a new suitcase by Braden's bed and a
note on his pillow. There didn't seem to be any other sign of Braden. He
shrugged his coat off, and picked up the letter.
Hey Kent,
Was hoping you'd be here when I dropped my stuff off. Your parents actually
called me to see if you were with me in Paris yesterday. I being the king of
deceit totally covered for you. What the hell were you doing in Paris? Is the
boyscout not such a boyscout after all? I knew it! I'll be back to tomorrow.
Clark dropped the letter in the wastebasket. Wow…so his mother doubted his
story. None of this was going to end well.
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