
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12445509.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Wolverine_(Movies)
  Relationship:
      Victor/Logan
  Character:
      Logan_(X-Men), Victor_Creed, Wade_Wilson, Chris_"Bolt"_Bradley, Fred
      Dukes, Agent_Zero, John_Wraith
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest, Consensual_Underage_Sex, Sex_Work, Feral_Living, Oral
      Sex, Anal_Sex, Masturbation, Military, Wolverine:_Origins_Movie
  Stats:
      Published: 2009-05-14 Words: 5152
****** Older ******
by alternatedoom
Summary
     Victor and James at different ages.

-James is 9, Victor is 12-

It's raining and James is cold. They're spending the night on a town
streetcorner, covered by newspaper and soaked to the bone. Victor sits close to
him, making plans for where to beg for their breakfast, or failing that, to
steal one for them. The first strategy involves hiding Victor's sharp claw-like
nails. There's a third strategy that involves using them, but James doesn't
want to think overlong about that.

Victor's better at stealing things, because he's bigger and can run away faster
when he's noticed. James doesn't feel very useful.

James shivers, lonely despite Victor being there with him, and wishing more
than anything he could go home again. But he doesn't voice that. The rain
conceals the tears that slide down his face, but he can't stop his shoulders
from shaking once they start.

"Jimmy!" Victor shifts closer and puts an arm around him. "Don't cry," Victor
says. "Don't cry. It'll be okay."

James nods tearfully and swallows against the lump in his throat.

"As soon as the sun comes up I'm going to get us some food. No matter what it
takes." Victor glances upwards, then refocuses on James. "And an oilcloth so we
don't get so wet next time it rains.

"Be brave, Jimmy," Victor tells him, and he strokes James' hair. "We'll make
it, I promise. We're brothers. I'll always look out for you."

But James isn't brave. He's scared and sad. After he stops crying he clings to
his brother all the tighter. He trusts Victor, but what would happen if Victor
left him? And Victor's doing dangerous things to keep them both fed. What would
happen to him if something happened to Victor?


-James is 10, Victor is 13-

James wants to get a job selling newspapers.

He's seen other boys his age do it, on the handful of occasions they've
ventured into the nearest city, on streetcorners. Some have bags slung over
their shoulders, others simply have a pile of papers at their feet. James isn't
sure about all the shouting they do at passersby, but he likes the idea of
having a job, being useful and being paid for it.

The only potential problem he sees with the idea is that Victor scrapes
together most of the food they eat and steals most of the money they get.
Victor has little to no interest in finding legitimate work, and they move
around frequently. Victor talks a lot about the importance of moving to new
places, always moving. If James were to get an actual job, they'd need to stay
in or near the city.

When he asks Victor about it, Victor puts a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay,
Jimmy. I can take care of us."

"I want to," James protests. "You wouldn't have to steal any more. We could
live on that. We could get a room to live in. Indoors."

Victor flexes his fingers slowly. "Nah." Victor hasn't filed his nails in over
a year, but he hasn't needed to. He sharpens them on trees now instead. ""I
don't think we could live on that. Not well anyway. And it'd be dangerous for
us to stay in one place."

He looks thoughtfully at James. "I have a better idea."


-James is 11, Victor is 14-

They leave the city, travel south again and live like animals in the woods.
Victor's become adept at catching rabbits and squirrels with his fast sharp
claws, and he adds foxes to his repertoire. He also catches fish, slashing at
the silvered creatures and snatching them up, holding them fast with his claws
so they can't get away. James learns to hunt too. They don't go hungry much
anymore. They still move around. Every now and then they go into a town to
steal new clothes, fruit and sometimes bread, which they both wolf down with
radiant pleasure. Sometimes Victor comes home with money in his hand and blood
on his claws, and they actually buy these things instead of stealing them.


-James is 12, Victor is 15-

Victor discovers his secondary mutation quite by accident. He's been noticing
his everyday injuries don't last for several years now--a scratch here, an
animal bite there. They heal quickly. Splinters work their way out of him on
their own. But all are minor hurts.

It isn't until he survives his first stabbing that they realize he's truly
different. He's had all sorts of threats hurled at him when his thefts aren't
slick enough, but the older he's become, the more violent the anger. In the bad
part of one of the towns they frequent, a shopkeeper they've stolen from before
finally knifes him upon catching him in the act. When the weapon sinks into his
gut, Victor thinks that's it. But he doesn't feel incapacitated by the injury
as he'd expected. He raises his head to look at the stunned shopkeeper and
snarls. With one single vicious swipe he slices the man's throat open. Then he
runs.
The wound in his stomach makes him stagger for a moment, but after that it
doesn't even slow him down. By the time he stops running, there's only a scar.

Victor makes James stab him with his bone claws a few times, to test his theory
about his gift for healing. They find that the shallower the cuts, the faster
they knit up, but even the deep ones close, it just takes longer.

After that he downs their first bear, a large black bear, in the woods.
Approaching from upwind so it won't smell them, they move silently. Victor
doesn't wear any clothes, since taking on a bear could well get his garments
destroyed. Clothes are one of the hardest things for them to acquire.

James hangs back at Victor's hand sign. Victor continues to approach until he
is very close, then launches himself at the animal. He sinks claws into its
neck, slashing again and again. He gets mauled, his face bloodied and his chest
slashed, but the worst is his leg. The bear opens his thigh, not all the way to
the bone, but close. It bleeds heavily. A distance away, James waits in an
agony of suspense, able to make out Victor and the bear but not able to see the
details of their struggle.

When he sees the bear fall on its side, James runs to Victor, takes his
directions. Terrified, he holds the two pieces of torn meat that are Victor's
thigh together so there's only a seam of blood showing. He puts pressure on the
injury -- and like magic, within ten minutes the gaping wound has become a scar
covered in dried blood. They lie on the ground for a while afterwards. Victor
falls asleep, leaving James awake to contemplate this new turn of events.

By the time they get up, even the scars are gone.

Victor carefully skins the bear with his nails, planning to dry the pelt so
they can use it to sleep on. He consistently amazes James with his survival
skills.

Victor sleeps long and deeply that night.

* * *

When it takes him a long time to go to sleep at night, James hears Victor make
rustling sounds. The first time it happens, he asks, "What are you doing?"

Victor stills for a moment and the soft noises stop. "Touching myself." He
pauses, then adds, "Touching my penis. It's natural."

James accepts this explanation thoughtfully. He ponders it for a while. The
sounds resume, and he falls asleep.


-James is 13, Victor is 16-

They squat in an abandoned, falling-down house by a lake. The structure is not
completely sound and a wall is missing, but it's good enough. The climate is
temperate most of the year, quite hot in high summer, but still cold in the
snowy dead of winter. They have blankets, furs, stolen clothes, and two iron
pots for cooking animals they've killed. It's as comfortable as they've ever
been since the night James murdered their father.

Some days they swim naked in the lake, then lie out in the sun. One day when
Victor gets out of the water, his penis is hard. James flushes and isn't sure
why. He looks away. Victor smiles at him.

James isn't sure at what point he realizes what's going on, but he becomes
accustomed to hearing Victor touch himself at night. He understands those
rustling noises, finally, because he starts touching himself as well. At first
he feels shy about doing it in front of Victor, but Victor gives no indication
that he cares. Victor does it next to him all the time, and doesn't wait for
him to go to sleep first anymore. As always, James decides to adopt the same
attitude as his brother. Not for the sheer purpose of imitating Victor, but
simply because Victor's older and very wise.


-James is 14, Victor is 17-

One night, with the house lit by moonlight, he's sleeping. He rolls over in his
sleep to put his head on Victor's shoulder, which he often does unconsciously.
He wakes up with a start when he realizes he's unintentionally pressed his
penis against Victor's hand. He realizes at the same second that Victor's awake
and stroking himself with the other hand. James freezes, then pulls back, but
Victor rolls over with him, his fingers still loosely curled around James' hard
member.

"Want me to?" Victor says softly. His voice is raspy from a few hours of
disuse.

James feels a flash of excitement at the prospect, and his stomach lurches.
"Touch me?"

"Yeah."

James doesn't trust his voice. He swallows. "Yes."

Victor slides down their makeshift bed of piled blankets and kneels between
James' legs. He leans down and for a second James doesn't know what he's doing,
but then Victor's tongue slips out and runs around the end of his penis. James
moans, startling himself. Victor doesn't stop. His lips part and he takes
James' penis into his mouth, and James is engulfed in a sheath of moving wet
heat.

The feel of Victor sucking on his penis is unbelievably different from rubbing
it himself. He could never have imagined how good it is.

James trembles, squeezing his eyes shut. He wants to reach down and touch
Victor's soft hair, and put his hands on his shoulders, and thrust his penis up
into Victor's mouth. He's afraid to do any of it, afraid to touch Victor or do
anything to break the spell or make this stop. He lies still, with his arms
rigid at his sides. Victor so carefully, ever so gently runs the tip of a claw
up over the line dividing his balls, and he can't stop himself from crying out.
In less than a minute, James' back arches and the incredible feeling takes
over. Like when he touches himself, but much, much more so. The explosive
sensation that shoots through him is unlike anything he's ever felt. He feels
his own toes curl and his claws spring out from between his knuckles.

Victor sits up a little unsteadily, wiping his mouth. James holds his hands up
and concentrates on retracting his claws. A moment of focus, of will, and they
slide back obediently. Feeling free, and a little high, James pulls his brother
into a tight hug, and Victor smiles.

James returns the favor. It only takes a few minutes. Victor tastes salty and
bitter.
"My jaw hurts," he tells Victor afterwards.

"I know," Victor says. He grins and rubs his own jaw. "You'll get used to it."

James doesn't think he'll need time to get used to it. He's in love with it. He
hugs Victor again.

He's never felt so close to Victor, and the ache is gone within a minute.

* * *

The next night, after they eat, he and Victor lie next to each other. James
wonders if they'll do the sucking thing again.

"There's something else we could do," Victor tells him, and his smile is almost
shy.
"What's that?" James grasps him eagerly.

"Fuck," Victor says. "Want to?"

James looks at him blankly.

"Sex," Victor says. "We could have sex. Like last night, but more so. The real
thing." And then, doubtfully, "You do know how babies are made, don't you?"

James just looks at him.

Victor's startled. "When you have sex with a woman, you can have a baby. I
didn't realize you didn't know."

"How do you?" James asks. He thinks as soon as it leaves his mouth that it's a
dumb question. Victor knows all kinds of stuff he doesn't.

"My dad... our dad said it's something two people do when they love each other.

"But I don't think we're supposed to do it," Victor adds after a moment.

"Why not?"

"Because we're brothers," Victor says simply. "And because you're only supposed
to do it with women." Then he shrugs. "But the world's against us. We're all on
our own, why live by their rules?" He pulls James closer. "If I want to, and
you want to, who cares?" He stares James in the eye. "Do you want to, Jimmy?"

James feels loose and relaxed. "Yes." It makes sense, if it's something people
do when they love each other. Victor's his best friend, his hero, his only
friend and the only person he loves. Victor's the only star in his sky.

"Do you trust me?" Victor asks. His voice is husky.

"Yes." James presses the fingertips of his right hand to Victor's, lifting his
brother's hand so their fingertips and palms rest against each other. "You're
the only person I trust." He sounds gravelly to his own ears, and as he says it
his voice breaks.

"Then lie back, and I'll do it to you."

Naked, Victor climbs on top of him. It's pretty dark, but in the moonlight
James can see his penis is hard. He's clumsier than usual, and James realizes
his hands are shaking. Victor sits on his pelvis. Victor weighs more than he
would have expected, but he doesn't mind. Victor slides a hand over his
buttcheeks, and traces one knuckle down to his asshole. It feels bizarre and
exciting to be touched there, and by Victor. A shudder goes through him. Victor
transfers spit from knuckle to asshole. Victor can extend and retract his claws
somewhat, but his nails are always long and always sharp. So he's careful when
he touches James.

Victor moves off him and presses James' knees upwards until the tendons in his
thighs burn from the stretch. "I think it might hurt a little," he says by way
of warning. "Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop." He aligns his penis with
James' butt and maneuvers, wriggling slightly.

Victor pushes himself in slowly, but it hurts more than a little. The pain
makes James see stars, but only for a second, and he wants very much to make
his brother feel as amazing as Victor's made him feel. That want gets him
through the moment. Victor gasps when he gets all the way in, and the sound of
it is satisfying to James.

"It's okay," James says when he can breathe again.

"It feels more than okay to me," Victor says in a strangled voice. He rests his
head in the hollow between James' neck and shoulder and thrusts his hips. He
runs a hand over James' ear, and kisses his temple. "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too," James says, and his chest bursts with warmth.

Afterwards, Victor rolls off him and holds him, and in that moment James feels
very close to Victor. He thinks, as he drifts off to sleep, that they've found
a whole new of level of closeness. His face rests against Victor's neck.
Victor's scent has always been comforting to him.

The next morning, James lies in bed and watches Victor sleep. When Victor stirs
and wakes up, he smiles lazily at James. The sun comes up and shines, and they
end up doing a repeat of the night before in the warm morning light.


-James is 15, Victor is 18-

Victor's next big idea is that they should join the military. James is used to
Victor's grand ideas, and he doesn't argue. Victor's lied for them, worked for
them, begged for them, stolen for them, and killed for them. He's taken care of
James. James will follow his big brother anywhere.

"You have to be sixteen to enlist, so we'll have to lie. I'm old enough, but if
you're under twenty-one you need written parental" --Victor bites off the word
bitterly--"consent. But I found someone who can forge letters for us. What do
you think?" Victor looks at him expectantly.

James nods. "Okay."

He doesn't think to ask who's going to write the letters for them, or what that
person will want from Victor in return. He goes to Victor and puts his arms
around him.

"No matter what, once we get in, we can't let them find out about us," Victor
says. "They wouldn't understand." He fixes his eyes on his little brother to
impress upon him the seriousness of this rule. "It's very important, Jimmy."

James nods, releasing his brother. He remembers some stuff from before, but
he's grown up largely outside of society. But Victor knows these things.


-James is 16, Victor is 19-

James decides to make a fresh start when they join the Union army, and
introduces himself simply as Logan. James has been vulnerable all his life, he
thinks, but Logan won't be.
Victor raises his eyebrows at him, but while he never stops calling Logan
Jimmy, he also never comments further.

After so many years of just him and Victor, at first it's strange to be around
so many people all the time. Logan gets used to that. What's stranger is the
slow process of realizing what an extreme taboo his relationship with Victor
is. Logan feels a low churn in his stomach every now and then when generic
insults are tossed around among the soldiers in his brigade. The word
motherfucker is tossed around as the highest form of joking insult, and men
talk about doing so-and-so's sister a lot. Logan realizes family and sex are
not ever supposed to mix. But no one ever says anything to him or Victor.
The biggest change is the sense of order. Their years of living on their own
were wild and completely unstructured. Everything about military life is
structured. They take orders, answer to superior officers, eat at designated
times, salute and obey.

The constant marching doesn't bother either of them. They're outdoorsmen in
every sense of the word. Victor's grown up broad in the chest and tough, and
Logan is lithe with excellent endurance.

Despite the smells, the saluting, and the various sicknesses that take hold of
the men around him, life in the U.S. military is cake compared to life as
wandering homeless orphans. For the first time they have a regular income, and
in the army there are steady rations every day, all different foods. They eat
pork and salt beef, hard bread, cornmeal, dried fruit, beans and rice. The
soldiers complain that the food lacks variety, but to Logan every day is a
feast. The regularity of being given food is nice. Logan drinks coffee for the
first time.

Getting used to fighting is harder. Seeing men die--killing men himself--is
intense and frightening. The first time he takes a shot to the chest is
terrifying. The pain is terrible, and he sees the panic written all over
Victor's face which makes him feel even more scared. Victor runs to him and
kneels over him, ignoring the deafening sounds and the fighting happening all
around them, and takes him by the shoulders and pulls Logan's head into his
lap. Logan thinks he cries but he's not sure. It's a very distracting business,
being shot. At least at first. After it happens a couple times, it still hurts
like hell, but it's bothersome, not frightening.

He never ever forgets the shock of pure fear that surges through him the first
time he sees Victor take a mortal wound. His heart freezes for a second and he
can't look away, can't think of anything else. Victor looks scared too as he
sinks to his knees. But by the time Logan gets to him, it's clear he's going to
be okay. They'd hoped, of course--Victor's survived fights with bears--but they
didn't know for sure that they could both heal through such a dramatic injury
as a gunshot. They see many of their comrades-in-arms die instantly when
they're hit.

Logan cries afterwards, when he's alone, grateful and stunned.

Victor takes their apparent immortality as a sign that they're meant for this
work, and Logan goes along with it.


-Logan is 17, Victor is 20-

The fact that their love is incestous doesn't bother him as much anymore.
They've been doing it so long, it seems as natural as breathing, as eating. He
thinks about it only in terms of the innate comfort it brings him when they
sneak away. That and the vital importance of hiding it.

The men joke about sex with girls all the time. Logan admits to himself a
certain amount of curiosity about women, a certain amount of desire to be close
to one. The women he sees on the street arouse him. He's turned on by the idea
when he entertains it. But sex with Victor quenches his physical lusts just as
their relationship satisfies his emotional needs, and Victor's all he's ever
known in that area.

Until Victor buys him a prostitute for his 17th birthday. The brothel is a
strange, beautiful place, with many beautiful girls in beautiful dresses and
outfits that aren't dresses at all. The madam, a still-attractive older lady,
welcomes them politely. Logan gets the impression she's hiding amusement at his
expense, but he doesn't care. The scent of the house overwhelms his senses; the
place reeks of lust and sex, women and men, sweat and come. The girls line up
so he can decide which one he wants. He chooses a dark-haired young woman with
a shy, alluring smile. She's wearing a bright green dress that she lifts up a
little as he looks at them, revealing her ankles, black shoes and a flash of
her shapely legs.

Her name is Madeleine, and she's either pleased to be with him or does an
impressive job of pretending to be. They hang around in the downstairs area for
a while, and at some point when she undulates on his lap, Logan comes in his
pants. Victor knows the expression that passes across his face and laughs at
him, but again, Logan doesn't care. Victor's picked a woman of his own and has
her giggling on his lap, her breasts bare but for his hands on them. Logan and
Madeleine go up in her room after that and she gives him a cool wet towel to
clean up. He takes off his clothes and getting cleaned up is not the foremost
thing on his mind. She seems slightly surprised that he wants to go again, but
willing and full of teasing and laughter. She sucks his cock, and her technique
is more practiced than Victor's. He comes again, harder than the first time,
bucking up into her mouth. He discovers her pussy isn't as tight as Victor's
asshole, but it's soaking wet and slick which entirely makes up for that. When
Logan slides up inside her he thinks he might die from how good it is.

-Logan is 145, Victor is 148-

Logan's long suspected Stryker knows about Victor and him, but it wouldn't do
to have Zero and Fred and the others find out what they really do on their
walks. Victor taught him long ago that other people can't know.

So when Victor asks him, "Walk?", Logan knows he wants to fuck. It's the third
time this week, and when they're in any place with privacy or access to the raw
wilderness, it happens more often. Victor's intense appetites have only grown
over the years.

The others glance at them as they leave. "Why do you guys always take so many
walks?" Wade calls. "You two going to go get off together?"

Logan keeps his face bland. Victor can field this one.
Victor smiles.

"With this guy? He complains too much. I'm saving it all for you, Wade." Victor
puts his hand on his crotch, patting earnestly. "Come and get it when you want
it."

Fred and Zero and even Wade laugh, but Logan notices Bradley looking at them
thoughtfully, his eyes sharper and more perceptive then is really a good thing.

Logan nods at John as they leave and gets a nod in return.

"I think Bradley knows," he says after they've walked a little ways.

His brother laughs. "You're so paranoid, Jimmy," Victor says.

"No, really." But Logan lets it drop. Bradley's a quiet guy. If he does guess,
Logan doubts he'll say anything. Bradley has always struck him as extremely
discreet.

They go more than a few kilometers from camp. Victor finds a spot he thinks
suitable and strips his shirt over his head. Logan pulls out the thin blanket
secreted away in his shirt and spreads it on the ground. He takes his clothes
off and lays them on a corner. He doesn't want them all dirty and grass-
stained. Especially with the guys' joking about them going off to fuck, it
could be a dead giveaway. Victor's clothes are already strewn on the ground.
Logan frowns at them, disapproving. Over the last ten years his brother's
slowly grown more and more careless about concealing their secret.

Logan lies on his stomach on the blanket next to Victor. His brother's cock is
already hard, lubed up and ready to go. "Turn over," Victor says, leering.

Victor doesn't do formalities when he's horny these days. When he wants to get
off, he wants to get off now. Logan's gotten more in the way of foreplay from
the handful of prostitutes he's frequented over the years. But he doesn't
really mind.

He is surprised, though, that Victor wants him on his back. Of late he usually
finds himself on his stomach. Logan rolls over and spreads his legs.

Victor puts his hand on his own cock and gives it a couple slow pumps before
applying it to Logan's asshole. Logan winces very slightly when Victor pushes
in. Funny how after all the thousands of times they've done this over the
years, it still hurts a little bit. But only for a second. After that it just
feels right.

Logan can remember how worried he was the first time they snuck off for this
purpose. It was shortly after they joined the Union army. He thought even if
they didn't get caught having sex with each other, if someone saw them they'd
be taken for deserters. Victor reassured him that they'd smell anyone who
approached. Decades have passed. He's worried about it quite a bit, but they've
never been caught.

Victor rocks into him gently. Logan feels full of his cock, and he likes the
way Victor's muscles roll over his. He sighs.

Victor's hand gropes between them for his cock. Logan gasps when he squeezes
it. He watches his older brother frown in concentration. It's warm out, even in
the twilight, and a few drops of Victor's sweat fall on Logan's brow.

Victor makes several hard thrusts and grunts when he comes. He pulls out faster
than Logan would like and rolls off him panting. Logan turns on his side and
pillows his head on Victor's outstretched arm. Victor lowers his well-muscled
arm around him. Logan doesn't know why, but although he hardly needs looking
after anymore, he still wants the feeling this embrace provides. Protection,
love, understanding... or echoes of those things, anyway.

After Victor gets his breath, he lies on his side and reaches down to grip
Logan's cock. He has a palmful of lubricant, and Logan pumps into his brother's
hand feverishly. Sometimes Logan comes from the hot friction between their
bodies, and sometimes Victor jerks or sucks him off. He hasn't fucked Victor in
a long time though. Victor only ever wants to top.

After, Logan rests against Victor while Victor drowses. He doesn't know how to
articulate what's he thinking.

"Are you happy here?" Logan finally says. He thinks Victor's never been happier
in his life.

"Sure," Victor answers, smiling without opening his eyes.

Logan puts his face down into the blanket for a moment. "Victor, we gotta
talk." Victor looks over at him. "I think we should go."

Victor looks at him like he's crazy. Logan clarifies. "Leave the team. Get out
of here. What are we doing out here?"

"Our jobs, maybe?" Victor says it with raised eyebrows, like it should be
obvious to Logan.

Logan meets his brother's eyes. "Maybe we should consider looking for jobs that
don't involve killing people."

Victor looks at him like he's crazy.

"I mean, what are we doing? We have no idea. Who knows what Stryker wants, what
we're really accomplishing here?" Logan shifts uncomfortably. "Besides
murdering and capturing people. We got a pardon for 'Nam. There's nothing
keeping us here."

Victor looks agitated. "Killing people is all we were doing before, too. It's
what we're good at. Who cares what Stryker wants?" His brother props himself up
on an elbow. "Look. We're making a difference, Jimmy," Victor says earnestly.
"Just trust him. This is a good gig. The only people dying are the bad guys."

Logan shrugs.

"We should get back, " Victor says, glancing in the direction of the camp.

"Yeah, big day tomorrow," Logan says tiredly.

Victor pats his thigh. "It'll be fun, you'll see."

Sometimes Logan feels like he's become the older brother, the caretaker, and
Victor the younger. It's like Victor built maturity over the years he cared for
them both, only to have it fall away brick by brick. He's become so
bloodthirsty. The savage look that steals over his face, the stoop of his
shoulders when he crouches to kill... sometimes he thinks Victor's devolving.

After they get up and put their clothes back on, Logan puts his arms around
Victor and rests his head on Victor's chest. Pressing his face to Victor's
neck, he inhales a deep breath. He gets a cocktail of raw testosterone,
confidence, decades of familiarity and intimacy. It's like a drug to him.

In moments of clarity that have grown more and more frequent, he knows Victor's
on the edge of being fucked up beyond all recognition. But when Logan breathes
Victor in, he feels like he's home. He hopes he'll never have to be without
that.

His heart feels heavy as they walk back to camp.

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