
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/197460.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Naruto
  Relationship:
      Namikaze_Minato/Uzumaki_Kushina, Hatake_Kakashi/Namikaze_Minato, Hatake
      Kakashi/Uzumaki_Kushina, Namikaze_Minato/Hatake_Kakashi/Uzumaki_Kushina
  Character:
      Hatake_Kakashi, Namikaze_Minato, Uzumaki_Kushina
  Additional Tags:
      Threesome_-_F/M/M, Violence, Creepy, Sexual_Content, Angst, Terrible
      coping_skills, Henge, Inappropriate_Sexual_Advances, Kakashi_is_damaged,
      Sad_Porn, Trust_violation
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-05-10 Words: 4389
****** Indecent ******
by TGPretender_(TGP)
Summary
     Minato and Kushina bring Kakashi home after a bad mission.
Kakashi is covered in blood. It should disgust him. It doesn’t. He’s almost
hardened to it. Sort of. Not really. But he likes to think he is. He’s ANBU
now. He has to be hardened to the sight, the smell, the feel, even the taste of
blood.
It’s just that getting it off is almost impossible.
He’s been scrubbing his skin for hours now but he’s still covered in red and
he’s still choked by the coppery smell.  It never goes away, no matter how much
he washes. Kakashi scrubs harder even though he knows it’s not coming off.
The blood.
The knowledge.
Hands take the sponge from him. If it weren’t for the fact that Kakashi knows
those hands better than his own, he could have killed the owner ten times over
in the seconds it takes to relinquish that sponge. He’s ANBU. Killing is as
easy as breathing. Not that he’s ever had trouble with it.
“You’re bleeding,” Minato says softly. The hint of disappointment is very soft,
maybe not even there, but Kakashi hears and it stabs him through. But he
doesn’t say anything as Minato carefully washes his skin. He just watches as
the water darkens bright blond hair and weighs it down. Watches as thin, black
cloth clings to the muscle beneath. Focus on the details. Forget the blood.
Minato’s hand pauses on his shoulder and his eyes lift, pinning him with a
stare Kakashi has never been able to look away from. Focus. Focus on pale blue
eyes and the electric jolt that runs through him when they focus on him. Focus
on what makes him alive.
Kakashi shivers as dry lips brush his own.
 
-----

Kakashi first met Namikaze Minato when he was four. It was just after he
started at the Ninja academy. Dad was going to do a mission with him and they
were doing the planning at their home. Minato seemed nice enough, very focused.
Dad talked to him like any other adult even though Minato wasn’t very old. Way
older than Kakashi, of course, but not as old as Dad. Not many ninjas were as
old as Dad, which made Kakashi proud because it meant Dad was a very good
ninja. Dad was the best ninja.
Minato looked up and spotted him at the edge of the hallway. Kakashi almost
ducked back around but then the blond man just smiled nicely. It sent a weird
little jolt into Kakashi’s belly. He smiled back because it was polite and Dad
liked when he was polite, then raced back to his room to practice his
calligraphy.
He didn’t see Minato again after that, not for a long time, but he didn’t mind.
He had school to take care of and he was very good at being a ninja. Kakashi
flew through the academy lessons as if he were born to be a ninja. And, being
Dad’s son, he was of course. Dad was busy but he was still there when Kakashi
graduated in a single year. Dad was so proud. He didn’t show it, not really,
but Kakashi knew and that was the best.
He was too young to go onto a normal genin team, but Kakashi liked it better
this way. He trained with one of Dad’s friends, getting stronger and better. By
the time he was six, Kakashi got to test for Chuunin. And he passed. He was the
best. The greatest!
And then Dad failed.
 
-----
 
Minato knows how to capture and keep his attention. He always has. And Kakashi
is grateful for this. He’s grateful for the feel of gentle, calloused hands
sliding down his skin, the full lips against his own with gentle pressure.
He’s never questioned having this. If he lost it, if Minato let him go, he…
Well.
But Minato doesn’t let go.
Kakashi curls his fingers in thick blond hair and sighs between their lips. The
taste of that mouth is intoxicating but he’s still distracted. He’s still…
there. In the woods. With the bodies. With…
“Stay with me,” Minato says as he urges him back. Wet tile presses against
Kakashi’s back. He’d usually mind but not here. Not when Minato is putting him
back together piece by piece, smoothing his fingers over the rough edges. All
Kakashi can do is hold on. He needs this. He needs Minato.
“Please,” Kakashi whispers, “Please, please, please…”
He doesn’t know what he’s asking for. Maybe he’s asking to be held. Maybe he’s
asking to die.
“Shh.” Minato pets down his cheek and kisses him again and Kakashi lets himself
drown in the taste and feel of Minato’s mouth.
 
-----
 
Kakashi stood at the living room window, staring at Dad’s back. Dad had never
looked so weak before, sitting there at the edge of the porch. But Dad had
never failed before. Not like this. Kakashi was just old enough to understand
what shame meant.
Dad didn’t get better. Kakashi tried not to care. He ignored it when other
Chuunins said stuff about Dad and that mission or wondered if he would make the
same mistake. Kakashi vowed that wouldn’t happen. He would live by the ninja
code and no other.
When he was finally put on a team, he was still way younger than the other two
genins he was saddled with. Kakashi hated them. They were too slow and too
stupid and Obito didn’t know how to shut up and Rin kept looking at him like he
was some kind of god. Kakashi didn’t need a team. He especially didn’t need
this team.
But it was headed by Namikaze Minato, one of the best Jounins in the village.
So Kakashi waited to see what would happen, what might come of this. Minato was
a very good ninja and might be able to teach him something.
And he was the one that came when Kakashi found Dad lying on the floor of his
bedroom.
 
-----
 
Minato’s farther under the spray than he is now, so all of Kakashi’s senses are
focused solely on him. It’s probably on purpose. Kakashi doesn’t really care.
He just licks into that mouth and arches into hands that know just where to
touch. He tugs at Minato’s shirt and finally gets it off, even if he has to
relinquish the blonde’s lips for a few precious seconds.
Kakashi lives in half seconds. Quarter seconds. He lives faster than seconds
because sometimes waiting a whole beat will get you killed and he’s not allowed
to die. Minato has told him that.
“Easy,” Minato murmurs softly as his lips brush Kakashi’s jaw, right near his
ear. It’s all Kakashi can do to shiver and touch tanned flesh. Minato is so
much darker than him even though he’s the one covered in blood.
Covered in…
Movement at the door. Kakashi’s nerves are too ragged to react appropriately
but Minato’s already caught his wrists, giving him the moment he needs to
recognize blood red hair.
“Oh,” Kushina says ever so quietly and for a moment, Kakashi is terrified that
he’ll see pity in her gaze. But he doesn’t. She’s never pitied anyone in her
life. He sees concern and he feels the same electric jolt as she really looks
at him that he feels from Minato. The same pang of want, need, life.
Minato’s lips brush his throat and his teeth graze the edge of his collarbone.
Kushina’s soft hands cup his face and he can’t help but lean into them as he
closes his eyes. Cloth rubs against the edge of his leg and her lips fall just
to the corner of his mouth.
 
-----
 
Kakashi hated that woman. She was loud and brash and did stupid things. He
hated the way she talked and how she took control of every room she entered. He
hated her stupid hair.
Most of all, he hated the way Minato-sensei’s eyes followed her. He hated the
soft way he looked at her.
It wasn’t enough that Kakashi had to deal with a dullard like Obito, but also
that woman? He wished she would just go back to her own people and leave
Minato-sensei alone. Annoying. Stupid. Hated her.
Kakashi glared at her from across Minato-sensei’s living room. He leaned
against the wall, arms folded over his chest, and watched as Obito and that
woman made fools of themselves while Rin tittered and Minato-sensei looked...
His chest tightened. Minato-sensei’s eyes never left that woman. And he looked…
Content. Happy.
Kakashi hated that woman.
 
-----
 
Kushina’s mouth tastes of ramen, salty, but Kakashi doesn’t care. Her lips are
soft and inviting and all he can think to do is fall into kissing her. She’s
softer than Minato all over and as he presses up against Kakashi’s back, her
clothed breasts brush his chest.
He’s surrounded by them, overwhelmed by them. All he feels are their hands and
their bodies and their heat. Minato laces his fingers through Kakashi’s as
Kushina curls her own around his other hand. He can’t help but grip tightly.
Don’t let go, don’t let go.
If they let go, he’ll be back in the woods. He’ll be staring into the dead eyes
of a five-year-old boy.
“Stay here,” Kushina murmurs against his lips. His heart is pounding out of
control but she’s calm as a cloudless sky. She pets his cheek and draws him in
again. Her kiss is different than Minato’s; Kakashi has no illusion of control.
She’s never given him that like Minato will. All he can do is follow her lead.
She chases away the dead green eyes.
Absently, he hears wet cloth crumple to the floor but all he cares about is wet
skin pressed to his own. He’s smothered between them. Kushina releases his
mouth only to join Minato at his throat. Kakashi rests his head back against
Minato’s shoulder and just concentrates on the feel of their mouths. Their
hands. Their bodies. Them.
 
----
 
Kakashi was a Jounin. The wait had been more of a formality than anything else.
He wasn’t exactly excited but it was nice that his skills were being
recognized. At thirteen, he was one of the youngest ever. Titles like that he
pretended not to notice.
Obito, on the other hand, never stopped complaining. Kakashi grit his teeth. He
wasn’t allowed to kill his teammates… The mission wasn’t exactly easy but
Kakashi had confidence in his skills as a leader. He would show Minato he could
do this. That he was worthy of the title of Jounin even that young, despite
Obito’s disparaging words.
But the mission went to hell faster than he could cope. He lost an eye almost
as fast as he lost half his team. After, he sat in shock on his porch and
stared at his blood stained hands.
Obito was dead. Kakashi had failed. Obito was never coming back. Dead. Dead.
Dead…
Dead like Dad, lying on the floor, surrounded by his own blood and with his own
sword jutting out of his belly.
It was that woman that sat down beside him, not Minato. She reached over and
touched his shoulder, but didn’t say a thing. Kakashi didn’t break down. He
never would in front of her.
 
----

His hand finds her naked breast as Kushina catches his lip between her teeth.
He tastes blood and for a moment, he almost forgets where he is except Minato’s
hand drags down his belly and brings him back to reality. Kakashi can do
nothing but lean into that strong touch.
He’s here. He’s with them. He’s fine. He’s fine.
Kakashi doesn’t realize they’ve moved until one hand is splayed against wet
tile and his entire body is pressed against Kushina’s soaked curves. She hooks
one leg around him to drag them closer, aligned perfectly, and he moans into
her biting mouth. He slides his hand down her hip and thigh and the way she
sighs is magic.
“That’s it,” Minato purrs. Then his hand is between her legs and Kushina
shudders against Kakashi with a breathy whimper of need. He stares at her face,
watching it flush and contort as Minato’s knuckles brush his thigh with every
motion inside of her.
Kakashi’s fingers join Minato’s and Kushina is so hot and wet. She arches and
shivers and sings for them. Minato rests his head on Kakashi’s shoulder, body
pressed so tight to his back, and they watch her together.
“Please,” Kushina breathes, her eyes closed tight and neck arched. Kakashi’s
fingers are soaked and he doesn’t really want to give up the blissfully teased
look from her face but Minato guides him out. Kakashi watches her eyes blink
lazily open and when she looks at him, her eyes are so dark and her lips parted
for uneven breaths and his name on her tongue.
 
----

She was so beautiful.
That was what Kakashi thought about Uzumaki Kushina when he finally began to
look at her. He was fourteen and in the discovery of women, Kushina was a
worthy goal. She had a tight, shapely body, a pretty face, striking red hair,
and great skills… But most of all, she was a jinchuuriki.
Kakashi did not expect her to die anytime soon.
Kushina was safe to want for someone who didn’t want to want anyone. And
something about wanting her made the feelings of jealousy wane. He could almost
stand to see the way Minato-sensei stared at her.
Almost.
But it was better than wanting Rin. Rin was… No. So far off limits that it made
Kakashi sick to think about it. But Rin had stopped looking at him a year ago
when he killed Obito. He understood. Ninjas understand underneath the
underneath, so he understood her and he didn’t want her.
Kushina had never blamed him for Obito, even though he deserved it. And maybe
that was why he began to need her.
The first time he managed to sneak undetected by Minato-sensei was the first
time Kakashi watched them make love. He watched it until the end and then
watched as they slipped into sleep and then he just kept watching them breath.
When he watched them, he didn’t see Obito’s crushed body anymore and he almost
felt part of them.
 
----

Kakashi presses Kushina tight against the tile. He claims her mouth as he jerks
both of her legs around his waist. Her ankles hook at the small of his back and
he groans as a firm, calloused hand guides him into her. Kakashi can do nothing
but plunge deeply into her slick cavern. He moves immediately because as
perfect and inviting as she feels, he needs more. He needs to make her scream.
Minato’s breath is shaky and loud near Kakashi’s ear. Every move of Kakashi’s
hips, every twitch of his body, rubs him against Minato’s thicker frame.
He feels how much Minato needs him.
Kushina’s sharp nails dig into his back as she gasps and bucks. Kakashi
tightens his grip on her thighs and he doesn’t care that he might be thrusting
too hard or that he might bruise her. He wants her to make that noise again,
clench around him like a vice. He wants her to whine and need and beg.
“Yes,” Minato whispers and it’s shaky with feeling that isn’t quite fear but
Kakashi hears something louder and sweeter and choked with blood.
He hears a little boy begging him to bring his mommy back because ninjas know
how to come back from the dead, don’t they? Kakashi doesn’t know how to tell
the boy the truth. He doesn’t get the chance.
He’s been too stupid to make sure his enemies are really dead and then green
eyes stare dully from the ground to remind him of his mistake –
“KAKASHI
!”
He snaps back and Kushina has his face in her hands and she’s bitten down on
his lip again as Minato digs two fingers into him, slick and thick and deep.
Kakashi gasps for breath but Minato licks the blood from his lips and reminds
him that he’s with them.
He’s with them.
 
----

Kakashi had been very, very careful that time. He’d made sure to learn the
techniques well, using Obito’s stolen eye to copy each one. He’d practiced even
though he didn’t really need to. He’d laced them together into something so
cohesive that even the other Jounin hadn’t seen through it when he ran his
tests earlier.
Standing in front of the mirror was Kushina. She wore her usual dress and had
brushed out her flaming hair carefully but the look on her face was completely
alien. Solemn, serious even, nothing like it should have been. She twitched her
lips, trying to form some semblance of her usual face-tearing grin, but the
attempts fell short.
Minato stepped up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. His blue eyes
found hers in the mirror and he tried and failed to smile for her as well. He
was too wound for that. Their energy wouldn’t last long with such a
sophisticated jutsu.
They parted ways, each sighting a specific target for something they knew was
wrong but they were too desperate to care about the consequences.
The pair of henged shadow clones lasted for two hours. The first henged clone
that vanished had had no real body and had felt of Fox. The henge of the second
clone failed next, red bleeding away from silver hair, and then the clone
itself winked out of existence from Minato’s astonished arms.
The third henge lasted only a few seconds longer, just enough for him to bask
in both his clones’ afterglow and his own, and then Kakashi fainted dead away
against Kushina’s side.
When he woke, they were both there. They were shaken and betrayed and he had
done that to them. He had torn away their sense of security and their trust. He
had broken something within them.
But for just a little while, they had been his and he had been theirs.
Kakashi barely heard their promises to keep it quiet and he was only sixteen
and it was normal to want to use his abilities and to test his boundaries and
to want to be close to someone but that wasn’t how you did it and he was never,
ever to do that again.
He didn’t hear them because he was savoring the memories of being theirs even
with the knowledge that it would never happen again.
 
----

When Minato presses into him, Kakashi goes still, panting into Kushina’s
shoulder as he shudders and fights the urge to reject the intrusion. He wants
Minato there, within him, with him, his. He wants Minato to claim him deep
inside with a mark that no one can ever take from him.
Kushina smoothes back locks of wet hair between her fingertips and she kisses
his ear with soft, gentle reassurances. Kakashi closes his eyes and digs his
teeth into her skin as Minato shifts and draws out of him. He doesn’t dare
move, doesn’t speak because if he does it will be nothing but pleading and he
doesn’t want Minato to know just how much it hurts to be parted with him.
But then Minato is back and his lips brush the back of Kakashi’s neck in kisses
or words or just breaths. Thick hands squeeze his hips and when Minato says his
name and Kushina whimpers at the shifting inside her, Kakashi starts to move.
There’s nothing smooth about it, nothing practiced or careful. He can only sink
into her heat or let Minato open him up. But he needs it. He needs them so damn
badly.
Kushina’s fingers are tight and painful in his hair as her body arches against
him. Her breasts press to his chest and if he could only touch them but he
can’t make himself let go of her thighs as he moves with her. She’s wild and
wanting and perfect.
Minato chants his name like a prayer. Over and over, Kakashi feels the length
of his body against his own and hands that shouldn’t have been this gentle
guide his hips as he has guided so much of the rest of his life. He’s giving
and understanding and strong.
 
----

There was no celebration for making it into the ANBU. Kakashi stood in front of
the memorial in his uniform to show Obito because Rin hadn’t been home in
months and she wouldn’t have wanted to look at him anyway. Obito only berated
him in his mind and that made Kakashi smile because it was painful and he
wanted to make sure Obito knew he’d learned to deal with that. He’d learned to
smile about a lot of things that didn’t make him happy.
He smiled when Minato and Kushina got married. Then he met Morino Ibiki and got
a painted mask. He guessed that was a good enough version of drinking himself
stupid. When he got back to Konoha a month later, he still smiled.
He smiled until the smell of blood that wasn’t there made him too sick to stand
and all he could do was lay on his bed and wonder how long the next mission
would keep him occupied.
Not long enough. He slipped and fell deeper and for a few weeks, he managed to
forget them until he’d returned. He almost dreaded coming back to Konoha.
Coming back to them. He tried to think of them as Minato the Hokage and Kushina
the Jinchuuriki, not Minato who kept him alive and Kushina who made him feel
so. Sometimes he managed.
Kakashi never managed to forget the blood and the screams and torturing a lone
ninja for information he desperately needed. It filled him up in the quiet of
his apartment, a quiet Minato and Kushina had never let settle when he’d lived
with them.
When it finally became too much, Kakashi found himself not at the memorial but
in Minato’s office and he didn’t give the man any warning before he caught
Minato’s lips with his own. He knew it wouldn’t last but he couldn’t hold back
anymore. Minato had always meant peace for him.
Minato didn’t fight when Kakashi took him against the desk.
----

Kakashi doesn’t realize what’s happened until it’s over and they’re tangled
together on the shower floor with cold water beating down onto them. Their arms
lace around him tightly, anchoring him down to the here and now. He finally,
blessedly, feels clean again. As clean as a ninja ever can.
“It’s all right,” Minato murmurs as he presses his lips to Kakashi’s hair and
pets his hand down Kakashi’s arm.
“You’re okay,” Kushina echoes and her chest purrs against Kakashi’s ear where
he rests his head.
He’s so tired. But he’s home again, completely now. They get him off the floor
and the three of them fumble about with towels and more awkwardness than three
elite level killers should have been capable of. But as soon as the shower is
off and they aren’t dripping, they tumble into bed like a pile of puppies.
Kakashi nuzzles his face against Minato’s chest and drapes an arm over the
man’s middle, his fingers resting on Kushina’s side as they smash Minato
between them. He’s home for both of them.
 
----
 
Kushina was the one who suggested it. She hadn’t really known any other way to
heal things between them and soothe feelings that should have been wrong but
were too strong to fight. Kakashi went along at first because he was too
desperate not to, but Minato chose it in his usual, cautious way.
They didn’t know quite how to manage at first, what was proper. But when they
threw ideals about propriety out the window, things settled immediately and
Kakashi found home in their bed. They didn’t try to explain how they’d gotten
to that point or even expect it to last. If it was going to break down, it
would, and they would deal with it then.
For now, Kakashi could find his solace in them and that was enough.
 
----
 
Kakashi sits alone in his little apartment on the top floor of the tallest
building in Konoha. He took this one because it offers the very best view of
the Hokage Monument. Well, the very best view of part of it.
A long time ago, he knew one of those men very well. A long time ago, he felt
as close to whole as was possible for a ninja. A long time ago, he had been
part of something more than just the ninja fellowship.
But now he is very, very alone. Kakashi stares out his window at the monument
and sips from a small bottle of sake that does little to warm his insides.
There are three framed photographs sitting on the windowsill, but none of them
are face up. They show both his failures and his triumphs and they make him
both proud and deliriously depressed. He doesn’t let anyone see them. He
doesn’t let anyone see the faces of his first team, long dead. He doesn’t let
anyone see the faces of his genins, all fractured off with different mentors
for better or worse. And most of all, he doesn’t let anyone see his lovers with
their arms around him.
As the sun slowly sets, the light on the monument shifts and suddenly, Minato’s
looking right at him. This is why Kakashi got this apartment. This is why he
always watches when he’s at home. Minato looks at him and Kakashi imagines that
he isn’t so achingly alone. He remembers the honest, exuberant smile on
Naruto’s face and sees Kushina and the hurt pales a little more.
The moment is over within seconds, but it will come back tomorrow. Tomorrow,
for a few seconds, he will feel whole. And then devastated once more with the
same hope of tomorrow.
Some day, it will not be enough just to hope for a few stolen seconds. But for
now, in the few moments when Minato can see him again and Kushina shines out
from their son, Kakashi can remember the way they smelled and the sound of
their laughter. He feels their fingers against his skin and their smiles on his
lips.
Someday, it will not be enough. Today is not someday, but tomorrow might be.
And that both terrifies and soothes him. So he smiles.
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