
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/40973.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F
  Fandom:
      Disney_RPF
  Relationship:
      Selena_Gomez/Demi_Lovato
  Character:
      Selena_Gomez, Demi_Lovato
  Additional Tags:
      Kink_Meme, Sex_Toys
  Stats:
      Published: 2009-05-06 Words: 3025
****** Disentanglement ******
by summerstorm
Summary
     So Demi kissed Selena a couple of months ago.
     It's not a big deal.
Notes
     For a prompt at tweendom_anon.
So Demi kissed Selena a couple of months ago.
It's not a big deal.
It's just, you know. Sometimes you know someone forever and then you discover
yourself, and you've known yourself forever, so you want to discover
them—her—too. And one day, after much fretting and freaking out and feeling
horrible for ogling your best friend's ass while she's changing into her
pajamas in your bedroom, you work up the nerve to walk up to her and, like,
hold her hair. In a particularly soft way that you hope might indicate it's
contemplative of other things rather than, like, hey, let me untangle that
knot.
And then she kind of smiles shyly and you're like, oh my God, and you grin way
more openly, and her hand flies to your neck and you kiss her.
And it's awesome.
But it's not a big deal.
Because, see, they're Disney. They're really Disney, so Disney it's going to
take extra powerful bleach to get the Disney off them when they grow up, and
Demi knows—she knows, it's part of what she was so fucked up over for the last
few months—Demi knows that Disney won't be happy if she, like, accidentally
slips and makes out with Selena where the paparazzi can see them.
So she doesn't. She goes slow.
No, that's a lie, she doesn't go slow at all. Two days after the first time she
makes out with Selena, she lays her down on her bed and unzips her jeans and
gets her hand down Selena's underwear.
Selena doesn't seem to mind. She seems pretty happy, actually, what with the
way her hips are thrusting up to get Demi's fingers deeper inside her, and the
way Selena keeps saying,
"Oh, God, Demi, yes, please, keep going," and tries to spread her legs wider,
like the jeans are going to magically give in even if she doesn't tug them
down.
Demi does it for her.
So, yeah, they don't go slow, but Demi does try to take things slow in the
sense that, well, they can't come out.
Demi remembers telling Selena that, before she kissed her, sort of laying the
groundwork, except not. She was a little tipsy and they'd just seen those
pictures of Lindsay Lohan with her girlfriend and Demi said, "So, Miss Gomez,"
and Selena looked up at her, all wide eyes over the glass she was holding,
"hypothetically, if you were gay, would you come out?"
"To my family or, like, to everyone? At large?"
"The whole world."
Selena took a few seconds to think it over.
Demi said, "We're Disney kids," before she could stop herself, "I want to do
more Disney movies. Can you imagine what a nightmare it would be to get leading
roles? Like, who wants to see a lesbian get the guy, am I right?"
And Selena's expression turned into something like reluctance, and she said, "I
don't know," all pensive and—like they actually could. If they were.
Hypothetically.
But Demi can't.
And Selena won't either, Demi knows that, and it's great to be sure of
something like that, but it's so weird to be what they are to each other and
not tell anyone—it makes it difficult for Demi to get a handle on it and treat
it like something real.
So they're still friends, really, just they have sex sometimes, and then Selena
flies off to Canada.
*
It doesn't occur to Selena to mention his new quote friendship unquote with
Taylor Lautner until the pictures of her literally throwing her arms around him
pop up on the Internet. Demi doesn't want to read too much into it, because,
again, they're mostly just friends.
Demi's blatantly ignoring the way she's noticed Selena's face lights up when
she sees Demi, or how Selena can't keep her eyes off Demi's face sometimes when
she goes down on Demi, which Demi knows from experience is kind of hard to do,
keep your eyes looking up like that. She's also ignoring how she hasn't been
able to come without thinking of Selena in some capacity since she can't even
remember when, because that's just sad and pathetic and really, really sad if
Selena doesn't feel the same way.
Because, if she's honest with herself, Demi knows that Selena wouldn't throw
their friendship away like that—that Selena wouldn't compromise it either by
having sex with Demi in out of guilt or pity, or by ditching her to avoid
dealing with this—but a part of her also thinks that she's terrible at reading
people, and maybe when Selena's hand stays on the small of her back too long or
too low or both, it doesn't mean that Selena's a very physical person and wants
to get as close to Demi as public decency will allow. Maybe it just means that
Selena doesn't know how to let go of this without hurting Demi's feelings.
So, yeah, Demi's pissed when the Internet finds out about Taylor before she
does. Because Selena's supposed to tell Demi first, because they're best
friends, and the only reason Demi can think of that might have made Selena not
tell her right away is that there is something going on between them.
And it's—well, they are just friends. Best friends, really good friends who
have sex together, but that doesn't mean they're not still just friends and
Selena can't tell her when she has a guy friend or a—boyfriend or whatever.
Demi would be okay with that. If it's a PR thing. But if Selena's not telling,
it's probably not a PR thing and she probably feels guilty about it and Demi
should have her back or something, if Selena feels guilty about it.
But Selena doesn't feel guilty about it.
"It's just, you're so worried about everything," Selena says on the phone, like
that's an excuse.
"Are you kidding me? I'm," and she practically spits the next part onto the
receiver, "'too worried'? I'm not 'too worried'. I just expect some honesty
from my best friend," she accuses.
Selena's answer is almost loud enough to be a scream. "But I don't know if
we're best friends!" Something catches in Selena's throat, something like a
sob, something that Demi can hear and that goes straight to form a dull achey
knot in her stomach.
"Of course we're best friends," Demi says firmly, anyway. "Is that what you
were doing with Taylor?"
"I—" Selena's voice is a thread, soft and reticent. "I don't know."
It's too quick, and Demi can hear the lie from miles away. "Spill," she says in
her best supportive tone. She needs to know. They can both pretend Demi's not
going nuts over this and Selena's never been naked and writhing under her. They
can pretend they're best friends and this is just something Selena's
embarrassed to say.
Demi can certainly do that.
"I'm sort of dating him," Selena says.
Demi breathes in deep, covering the receiver for a moment. Dating could mean
many things. She keeps her voice straight when she asks, "Dating as in..."
Selena stays silent for a second. Demi can picture her nibbling at her lower
lip, looking down even though there's no one there for Selena to face.
"I had sex with him," Selena says finally.
Demi's—trying to process that her Selena has been Demi can't reply. She just
doesn't know what to say. Everything she can think of seems inadequate
somehow—like they haven't defined this, not yet, and Demi can't really get mad
at Selena for not being only with Demi just because Demi was stupid and didn't
ask her not to. Didn't have long make-out sessions with Selena that didn't end
with at least one of them getting off.
"I just," Selena's voice comes through the phone, shaky, breathless, "I don't
know if we're just best friends, or if we're not just best friends but you're
just..." She trails off. "And I can jump on him in the middle of the street and
then, if I want to, like, kiss him someplace, I can. And with you, I'm just—I
don't know. You're a girl."
It hits Demi like she didn't know it would, that statement. She is, she is a
girl, and she likes Selena, she's attracted to Selena, she's probably a little
bit in love with Selena, maybe, sorta, and she feels like maybe Selena wouldn't
feel like that if Demi was a boy. That maybe they could be exactly the
same—friends, and Demi could have kissed her and they could have kept quiet and
Selena wouldn't have slept with Taylor just because he has a stupid penis if
Demi was a boy, but Demi's not a boy, and she can't up and take Selena like
that, much as she'd like to.
And then an idea hits her, and the decision takes itself.
Demi hangs up without saying another word.
*
Selena looks completely dumbfounded when she opens the door to her hotel room.
"Hi," Demi says, and walks in. "Cozy," she observes of the room.
"What are you doing here?"
Demi turns to look at Selena, and shrugs. "Just felt like visiting Canada," she
says with a smirk. It's a painful one, and Selena doesn't look very happy to
see it, but Demi can't bring herself to care. She needs to—she has to let
Selena know what this is about. Let her know that Demi's not a goddamn rent car
Selena can drive until she gets a real car of her own. "They say it's lovely
this time of year."
Selena pushes the door closed. "I don't—"
"Well, you should!" Demi says, her voice cracking. So much for keeping her
cool. "You should," she repeats, a little lower, her voice still rough. "What
we've been doing these past two months—what do you think that was? Teaching you
to kiss?"
"I actually have more experience than—" Selena begins.
"That's not the point! I wanted you. I was waiting for you."
Selena stares at Demi for a second. "Oh."
"Yeah, 'oh'," Demi mirrors, the loudness of her voice more obvious in contrast
with Selena's whisper. "I'm not a toy."
"I never—" Selena starts, and takes a step back from Demi.
Demi hadn't realized she was so close. Her eyes wander towards Selena's lips,
and she just wants to—God, she just wants to so much, and she slams their
mouths together.
Selena doesn't complain, not quite, and returns the kiss with as much force as
Demi feels she's able to muster up. It's not like Selena to return Demi's
random attacks like this. She usually works Demi down until their teeth stop
crashing at intervals, but this time, Selena's wrapping her arms around Demi's
shoulders and biting on Demi's lip. It only makes Demi more confident about
what she's about to say.
She breaks the kiss—pulls away about an inch, can still feel Selena's breath on
her chin—and says, "I want to fuck you."
Selena nods nervously, not really knowing what Demi means, tugging Demi's shirt
over her head and throwing it onto the armchair in the corner.
"Not like, with my fingers," Demi explains, and punctuates it by pulling
Selena's shirt out of her jeans and touching the skin there, just above the
band of her underwear. "Or," she continues, going for Selena's ear, licking at
that spot behind her earlobe that makes Selena's eyes roll back with pleasure,
"my mouth," and then Selena captures her mouth and they're kissing again, and
Selena's cupping Demi's breast with her hand, over her bra, and Demi's
momentarily distracted.
Momentarily basically means that, by the time she remembers what she was here
to do, they're both completely naked, Selena's lying down on the bed, and
Demi's climbing in between Selena's legs.
"Wait," she says, stealing another peck, and rushes to get her bag and the
dildo out of it.
It's—weird, not too big. Bright purple, because Demi feels really weird about
real penises, and this seemed harmless but still enough to show Selena that
Demi can go in as far as Taylor can. That just because she doesn't have a penis
doesn't mean Selena can't experience something deep enough with her to think
they're in a relationship.
Because they are. They're not just friends. They're nowhere near just friends,
and if it's taken Demi this to see it, so be it. They're not goddamn fuck
buddies. Demi wants Selena, she wants her, and no dick in the world can replace
that.
"Whoa," Selena says, eying the dildo suspiciously.
"Yeah," Demi says, and straps it on like she's been doing it all her life.
Truth is, she's spent half the flight trying to figure out the harness so she
wouldn't look like an idiot in front of Selena. Because, yeah, Demi doesn't
have trouble being stupid around her, but this is new, and it's unexpected, and
it's kind of a crazy thing to ask of her, and if she gets Selena to go through
with it, Demi's not gonna screw it up.
She crawls back onto the bed, holding a tube of Astroglide, and ducks down to
whisper, "I really want to fuck you," into Selena's ear. "I can—I want to fuck
you so hard you forget I don't have a dick."
Selena just holds onto Demi's hair and brings their mouths together again.
Demi keeps a hand on Selena's hip and feels the minimum rocking movement of
them, the tail end of Selena's squirming under her. Demi drops her hand to
Selena's belly and slides lower, lower.
"Oh," Selena moans when Demi slips a finger inside her. Demi can feel the dildo
against the back of her hand, and something like excitement builds in her
stomach just thinking about getting it inside Selena, going in deep. She starts
to move her finger to the rhythm of Selena's body, sliding it in and out and
brushing her clit until Selena's so wet Demi hardly thinks she'd need lube for
this, though she opens the tube and coats her fingers anyway, slicks up the
dildo with as much concentration as she can draw away from Selena bucking
against her hand.
It's very little concentration, but it gets the job done.
She leans closer to Selena, their bodies pressing close together, and works a
hand between them to guide the dildo into Selena, trying to keep a steady,
intermittent pressure on Selena's clit with her hand.
Selena moans when the toy begins to penetrate her, and rolls her hips up hard.
"Careful there," Demi advises, though she's not sure why. The dildo slides in
easily enough after Demi fixes the angle twice, and then she's pulling out,
almost hearing the sound of friction, partly wanting to lick her, partly
wanting to keep going.
She thrusts forward and back and forward again, until she feels it's not going
to slip out accidentally if she's not holding it, and when she disentangles her
arm from between their bodies, Demi realizes that Selena's head is thrown back,
that her teeth are over her lower lip, and that she's clutching one of Demi's
breasts like her life depends on it.
Selena opens her eyes, and Demi hears herself moan when Selena pinches her
nipple and reaches out to do the same with her other hand to Demi's other
breast.
She thrusts in harder this time, making Selena curse. Demi feels the word like
a wave of electricity through her, and ducks down to capture Selena's mouth
with her own, picking up the rhythm, reaching out between them again to press a
finger against her own clit to relieve some of the pressure.
Demi snuggles her head into Selena's shoulder to kiss her way up her neck, and
Selena frees Demi's breasts to hold onto her ass instead, pressing her closer,
almost trying to control Demi's thrusts.
When Selena's grip grows looser, Demi faces her, and sees her mouth go slack
just in time to press her knuckles against her, try to second-handedly
experience Selena's orgasm, get closer to her.
Demi feels heavy-headed, so close, but Selena steals her hand away. Before she
knows it, Demi finds herself flat on her back, and Selena grabs the dildo,
starts pumping it hard and fast against Demi's clit, building up pressure. When
Demi looks at Selena, when she takes in her look of sheer concentration and
almost power, Demi feels the pleasure heighten and heighten and heighten and
take over her body in waves.
*
When Demi gets out of the shower, after spending a few minutes scrubbing the
flight off her skin, Selena says nonchalantly from the bed, looking at her
nails, "I didn't actually sleep with Taylor, you know."
Demi stares.
"I mean, we did make out a bit, but then I went all scared on him, you
should've seen his face. I think he was afraid he'd gone too far and hurt me or
something," she says fondly. "He's such a sweet boy."
Demi stares some more.
"You were so jealous," Selena points out, and can't help the chuckle. "I can't
believe you got so jealous. I mean, I'm not complaining, but wow."
"I was not jealous," Demi says, not very convincingly.
"You totally were. You bought a strap-on."
"You told me you'd had sex with him," Demi says with a grimace. "I couldn't
stop picturing his stupid paws all over your boobs."
Selena chuckles again. "I can't believe you actually came up here because you
didn't know I was lying. I thought you could tell when I lie." Selena frowns.
"Hey, that's actually good to know that you can't. Though I'm really, really
not happy you thought I'd do that to you."
"It's not like you knew about—wait, you totally did, didn't you?"
Selena doesn't answer—just gets up, comfortably, completely naked, and kisses
Demi flat on the mouth instead, lingers for a second, says, "I like your
natural equipment just fine, baby," hot against Demi's mouth, and goes back to
bed.
So Demi follows—drops her towel and kisses Selena again.
It's kind of a big deal.
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