
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1018207.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Eren_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin)
  Additional Tags:
      age_gap, drabble_gone_wild, not_a_formal_fic_because_i'm_lazy, and_i'll
      probably_make_this_a_legit_fanfic_eventually, but_for_now, have_this
      prompt-fill_thing, Modern_AU
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-25 Words: 16883
****** Countdown ******
by Opulence
Summary
     Falling for this clumsy college student is as unexpected as the event
     that brings them together in the first place.
     The only problem lies in the fact that he isn't actually a college
     student.
     (modern age gap AU)
Notes
     I definitely titled this in regards to my favorite scene and it just
     happens to fit well with the subject matter, too. <3
     Tumblr post version of this with the ask that prompted it: http://
     rivaille-fetish.tumblr.com/post/65031101658/you-know-what-would-be-
     really-sad-about-an-ereri-au
     It started out as a drabble but clearly went out of control. It's not
     written in the standard third person perspective that fics generally
     are written in, since it really didn't begin as a formal thing,
     but... You'll see what I mean. I just get sassy with my narrating
     sometimes. :'D
     There is sex.
     And fluff.
     And angst.
     Just a warning. <3
     EDIT READ THIS YES:
     I wrote this under the false assumption that it would follow federal
     age of consent (bad research, ugh) but bear in mind that PA age of
     consent (among many other states) is actually 16. Some are 17 and
     some are indeed 18 (California and Florida, namely) but I hecked up.
     I HECKED UP. Keep that in mind~ I did originally set this in PA but
     you can read under the assumption that it's set somewhere that fits.
     :3 I may edit it eventually but until then, just bear that in mind.
See the end of the work for more notes
It’s a Friday afternoon and Eren is off of school. It's an in-service day,
which means that the teachers are doing training while the students in the
district have a day off. He’s walking through the city since his house
is maybe a mile away and he has nothing better to do, since Mikasa is at the
gym and Armin is probably at home watching the discovery channel or some shit.
He’s absolutely starving and he has just enough money to grab something at one
of the local restaurants that he loves.
He walks in and since he can seat himself, he starts toward a table near the
corner. He would’ve usually taken a corner table but a grumpy-looking man in a
suit is sitting there reading the paper, so he settles for the table behind
him. Cool, whatever. No big deal. He’s on his way to the table and his phone
starts vibrating in his pocket, so he picks it up and it’s Jean saying
something stupid so he texts back and-
head-on collision with the waiter in front of the man.
Soup everywhere. Hot soup everywhere, especially over the man in the corner who
just so happens to look like he does something really important for a living.
The man stares at him in utter disbelief and Eren stares back for a second
while he processes exactly what just happened, and then he immediately starts
with the apologies.
"Oh my god, shitshitshitshitshit, I am so sorry, oh my god, are you okay? Did
it burn you? Holy shit, okay, look... I’ll get some napkins and we can clear
this up, oh my god. I am so sorry, shit shit-"
Levi slams his newspaper down to shut Eren the hell up and glares daggers at
him. He grows silent almost immediately and breaks out in a nervous sweat
because this guy looks like he could take out a fucking army with that
absolutely toxic stare. He finally gets a good look at the damage and there is
soup all over his jacket and tie, but his pants have been spared because of the
napkin that had been carefully placed on his lap.
"This isn’t coming out with napkins. I do hope you intend on paying to get this
cleaned."
Fuck my life, are you joking right now? Do I look like I have money? ”I… I
barely have enough to eat lunch, honestly. I’m so sorry, seriously, it was an
accident and-“
"What the hell are you doing in a restaurant without money?" He waves away the
waiter and motions for Eren to sit down, which he does immediately because Levi
is insanely intimidating. "I’m certain you can at least contribute, since this
is undeniably your fault."
Eren just looks away and mumbles in response, “I’m a student, I don’t have time
for a job right now.”
Levi blinks and looks at him in silence for a long time, which makes
Eren incredibly uncomfortable. He’s already mortified and absolutely terrified,
and the fact that this man is staring at him doesn’t help. “I… Ugh. I don’t
have time to change or get it cleaned, I’m going to be late as it is. Fuck,
there is no way I’m getting into my car with this shit.”
"Wait! I could get you one of the suits my father— No, no way. That’d be huge
on you. Oh my god, do they make suits that short, or did you have to get it
tailored?" He realizes what just came out of his mouth a moment too late and
Levi looks like he’s about to throttle someone.
Eren panics, but suddenly feels really bad because his suit is legitimately too
messy to wear back into where ever he works, it’s his fault, and he can’t even
pay for it. Levi’s dirty, probably burnt, running late, and Eren just called
him short. He has to do something, anything. “I can… I can like, take it if you
want? I live right up the road and you could drop by and get it after you… do
whatever you do. How bad is everything?” Levi shrugs off his jacket and Eren is
beyond relieved to see that his dress shirt underneath the jacket hadn’t been
touched, and adds, “I’m seriously so sorry, it was completely my fault-“
"Damn right, it’s your fault. I don’t even have time to argue with you right
now, I need to go. Give me your address, I’ll swing by at exactly 8. You’d
better be there."
Eren grabs a napkin and Levi gives him a pen, he writes down his address, and
silently prays that his parents decide to go out tonight. “I’m Eren, by the
way. I’m seriously so sorry, I feel really terrible-“
Levi interrupts him by grabbing the napkin and folding it into his pocket,
standing up, and muttering “Whatever, you little shitwad, don’t fuck it up any
more than you already have. Levi. Remember, 8 tonight.” He tosses his jacket
and tie at Eren and he’s out the door before he even has a chance to peel the
fabric away from his face.
Fast forward to 8 o’clock.
Mikasa is out with friends (she’d spent nearly an hour trying to convince Eren
to come out with her, but he had piles of “homework” to do and even though she
didn’t entirely trust him, she let it go) and his parents are out to
dinner. Things don’t ever go right, so this is a pretty big deal to him. He’s
home alone and he’d gotten home while the house was empty, too. Hiding the
clothes hadn’t been much of an issue, but trying to take the stain out had been
an interesting process. He could only do so much with suggestions made on
google and youtube tutorials, so most of the stain was entirely still present.
He felt pretty terrible about it, too.
When the doorbell rings he literally sprints to answer it, and of course, it’s
Levi. “Wow, this really is your address, hm? I won’t lie, I was expecting for
you to have messed it up and given me the wrong house. I’m impressed.”
Eren is clearly offended for a few moments until he remembers that Levi
actually came for a reason outside of insulting him, so he invites him in to be
polite and directs him to the living room. He runs upstairs to grab his clothes
and brings them down and continues to apologize profusely about not being able
to do anything about the stain and creating the stain in the first place. Levi
lets him freak out and entertains his suggestions of bringing out tea. While
he’s in the kitchen, Eren gets an idea and rolls with it immediately because he
has a habit of being impulsive, “I can make it up to you, if you want? If you
let me know how much it costs to clean it, I’ll treat you to a lunch that I
don’t mess up or something. I don’t even think you got to properly finish your
food today and I feel so bad.”
"Stop apologizing, brat. It’s not like college kids ever have money, there’s no
way you can treat me to anything."
College? No, Eren was definitely in high school, but whatever. It’s not
important. “I can come up with money, it’s not a big deal. Especially for
something like this. I’m not just going to let it go or anything.”
"It’ll be expensive. I use someone that charges $50, but they do a damn good
job. I really don’t need your money or for you to make this up to me in any
way, I’m perfectly capable of handling it myself. Just wanted to teach you not
to be a dumbass that checks their phone while walking."
Eren literally winces at the price and his stomach churns a little bit because
it’s expensive, so when Levi says that, it’s a huge weight lifted from his
shoulders. “Okay… Well, once again, I apologize for any setbacks I may have
caused, sir.” Levi nods, stands, and leaves, they exchange awkward goodbyes,
and Eren lays back in his bed feeling ridiculously relieved. He can’t get the
image of Levi in his dress shirt out of his head, though. Eren hadn’t ever
considered a man to be pretty before, but Levi was certainly pretty. He hadn’t
seen anyone look that refined while saying the word “shitwad” before in his
life. 
Fast forward a week, it’s Saturday afternoon. 
Eren is bored, which means that Eren is hungry. He’s in the city again and he
never actually had the chance to eat at the restaurant the last time he’d gone
because he felt so bad about soiling Levi’s clothing, so he decides to return
and actually get food. He walks in, starts toward his corner table, and… Levi
is there. Again. This time, however, he’s dressed somewhat normally. Somewhat.
It’s clear that he isn’t dressed for work, but he still looks nice (like a
hipster, Eren snorts) with a solid black vest over a light grey button-up,
dark-wash jeans, and a tan scarf. Just like before, he’s reading the paper, and
Eren plops down at the table behind him and orders a drink before he decides to
look back and say something.
"Well, isn’t this a coincidence?" Levi doesn’t say anything and just stares, so
Eren quickly follows it up with, "I really like your, uh, scarf. Tan is a good
color on you."
"It’s taupe."
"What?"
"It’s not tan, it’s taupe. Thank you. What on Earth are you doing here? Thought
you were broke." And Eren shrugs because he is broke, but he at least has
enough to get a sandwich or something.
"Yeah, I am, but I’ve been wanting to eat here since last Friday. Worth using
the last of my money, I guess. I’m just hungry and bored, so I guess I can at
least sit here and people watch?"
Levi rolls his eyes, clearly irritated, and Eren wonders what the hell he did
now until he mutters, “You can’t use the last of your money eating an
overpriced sandwich, for fucks sake. If you’re that fucking bored, come here.
I’ll pay for your food if you can entertain yourself without being too much of
a pain in the ass.”
Eren is shocked and the first thing he thinks about is how awful it would be to
accept, since he’s already wasted $50 of this guy’s money due to his own
carelessness. “No, it’s really fine, there’s absolutely no way I can let you do
that. I already wasted your money-“
"Eren." He remembers Eren’s name? Impressive. "I have money to spare. Consider
it a donation to the needy." 
"Are you sure?"
"About as sure as I am that if you don’t come here right now you’ll end up with
my foot so far up your ass that you’ll taste it.”
That’s enough to kick Eren into gear. He switches to the opposite side of
Levi’s table, but he looks down at the table and studies it hard instead of
making eye contact with Levi because he’s still one of the most intimidating
people that he’s ever spoken to. Levi honestly thinks it’s amusing, because the
kid is fidgety to the point that he’s not sure if he’s actually capable of
sitting still. He doesn’t have any particular desire to strike up conversation
so he continues reading his paper, which makes Eren even more self-conscious to
the point that he feels obligated to create awkward conversation to dissolve
the awkward tension.
"So… What do you do? And are you usually like this with people you just meet?"
"Government work, probably nothing that you’d know anything about or
understand. Like what?"
"I dunno, aggressive? Insulting? Those aren’t the words I wanted, but you know
what I me- Wait, really? I thought that most people who worked for the
government were old, in their thirties and forties and fifties?"
"Yes, I am. You’re not special. Oh, ouch. First short, now old? Much
appreciated, you must have a lot of friends. You’re so sensitive. Thirty really
isn’t that old, kid."
"Oh, no way." Thirty? Levi, thirty? Levi, with his taupe scarf and tailored
jeans? "Thirty? No way. No."
"You have no fucking tact, wow. Yes. I’m thirty. You make it sound like I’m on
my death bed. I’m thirty, I do government work. You’re a broke college kid. You
better enjoy your twenties, you’ll be an old man like me before you know it."
Eren can almost physically feel the sarcasm dripping off of his words and
notices the college comment again. Still no reason to say anything about it,
since if he knew that he’s fifteen, there would be no way that he’d take him
seriously (not that he does now, but that’s not the point).
"Sorry, that’s not what I meant. Anyway, do you come here a lot? I usually sit
here and I’ve never seen you around before."
"Lately? Yes. It’s close, easy, clean, and the food is good. And you?"
"Weekends. I don’t have time during the week." Don’t have time. Right. Eren
internally panics and desperately hopes that for once he isn’t a terrible liar,
and when Levi nods, he lets out the breath he’d been holding. Eren orders
something and they make spend a little while talking about unimportant things.
Eren fidgets through extended periods of awkward silence, people-watches a
little bit… more or less acts like an impatient child for the entire meal. Levi
just reads, largely unaffected by the silences, and gets a kick out of watching
Eren make himself uncomfortable. He’s nice, easily his type. Tall, dark hair,
light eyes, moderately tan. Even though he’s clumsy and obviously doesn’t think
before he speaks, it’s almost endearing. The kid is cute and his company isn’t
bad enough for Levi to want to leave. He doesn’t even mind buying him lunch
that much, especially knowing that he’s preventing him from using the last of
his money. 
They sit for about twenty minutes after they both finish, just talking because
Eren’s too bored to care about the fact that Levi is a sassy shit that scares
him. They don’t exchange numbers or anything, but Eren thanks him and they go
their separate ways. 
Man, taupe really was a good color on him.
Fastforward another week.
Eren isn’t bored, but he is hungry. (Is he really hungry?) He can’t help but
wonder if he’ll see Levi in the restaurant again, since he did say that he went
often. Something about him is interesting, he can’t quite put his finger on
what, but he feels a rush of relief and giddiness when he starts toward the
corner table that Levi is, in fact, seated at. He sits at the table behind him
again and scoots his chair out loudly so Levi looks back and definitely knows
that he’s there… Not that Eren lets him initiate conversation, because he
impulsively turns around and says something about the weather, which Levi
ignores.
"Coming in while you’re broke again?"
It makes Eren stop and shake his head, pause, then smile and reply, “No, I
actually have enough money for a decent lunch. In fact…” He pushes his hand
into his pocket and digs around for a moment, then grins and says, “I have
enough for the both of us, and I really want to pay you back. It looks like you
just ordered a drink so far, so do you want to join me? Seriously, it’s on me.”
"I don’t need you to pay for me, I’m not the one with money issues."
Eren lets out an indignant huff because talking to Levi is equivalent to
willingly letting someone trample over his pride with spiked cleats, then
mutters, “I don’t have money issues and I didn’t say that you needed to. I’m
just indebted to you, and you can consider this the first payment, I guess. I’m
not doing it because I want to.” Blatant lie. “Come on, sit with me. Or should
I move over there?”
"I’m not getting up."
Eren sighs and shifts over to Levi’s, and their meal goes similarly to the one
before, though they spend a little less time sitting in silence and more time
communicating. A little less time. Like, maybe five minutes less. It’s still
awkward, sure, but it’s a step in the right direction. 
"What are you majoring in?"
Shit, I’m not majoring in anything. I don’t even know what I’m good at. What do
I like? Do I even like anything? ”English.”
"… Really?"
Crap. I don’t even like English. First thing that popped into my head. Okay.
Shit, I’m awful at English. My adjective of choice is ‘fuck’, which also
happens to be my most-used noun, adverb, verb… What other parts of speech are
there?  ”Yeah, I love it. I’ve been told that I write pretty good and I was
good at grammar and stuff in high school.”
Levi furrows his brows at the usage of ‘good’ but decides against saying
anything because it’s not worth the effort of explaining it. “I’m not going to
comment on that. Forget I asked. Quit running your mouth and eat.”
Eren willingly complies because he knows that he doesn’t want to embarrass
himself any more than he already has. They still don’t exchange phone numbers,
and Levi still looks really good in that tan color. What was it? Toupe?
One more week.
Eren isn’t hungry or bored, but it’s lunch time so he figures he should
probably eat something. His chest tingles and he gets butterflies (just nerves,
Levi’s just makes him nervous, that’s all) when he sees Levi sitting in the
corner again, and Levi actually looks over and acknowledges him with eye
contact before he continues to read his newspaper. Just as he’d done
previously, he starts by sitting at the table behind Levi, but gives an excuse
that “I wasted your money twice so I need to buy your lunch twice,” something
Levi doesn’t explicitly deny (which Eren interprets as accepting it, and moves
back to sit with him). The conversation is marginally less awkward, and they
actually start to feel comfortable enough with each other that they laugh and
joke around and talk about certain parts of their day/week. It’s really nice
and it borders on flirting, which doesn’t particularly bother either of them
because Levi likes whoever can properly capture his attention and Eren… Eren
doesn’t entirely know what he likes, but he knows that he really enjoys talking
to Levi during these little meetings.
This is the last meeting that he has an excuse for, which, of course, presents
a dilemma. It shows on his face before he can help it, and prompts Levi to wait
and let Eren figure things out himself, since this is actually entertaining.
Eren gets flustered fairly easily around Levi, something that has been both
endearing and irritating.
"Well, it looks like my debt is all paid off…" Eren starts and his eyes fall to
the table again like they had on the first day. He messes with his fingertips
while he tries to work through the facts that he really wants Levi’s number, he
has no idea how to get it, and Levi is fucking thirty. Thirty, oh man. But… It
wasn’t like they’re dating, no. He enjoys his company, he’s mature in ways that
his classmates aren’t, he’s interesting, and it’s refreshing. This is a
friendship, so asking for his number shouldn’t be hard. “I, uh, I actually
really like this. It’s pretty nice being able to come here and talk to someone
over food and stuff. You’re pretty cool. I’d be totally up for doing again, if
you want to? Like, we could make this a habit or something. Not when you’re
busy, though. I could text you for planning and stuff, if you want?”
Levi doesn’t say anything right away and raises an eyebrow, which Eren assumes
is because he was too forward or something (it was really just because he
wanted to see how he’d react and he was more or less impressed that he had the
balls to ask) so he immediately backtracks with “I totally get it if you don’t
want to, you’re busy and I’m just a student and we only ever started talking
because I spilled stuff all over you and now I paid back everything so
we really don’t have to or anything—”
"Give me your phone, I’ll program it in. Text me in the morning, at night, or
during my lunch break, which is the same time every day and you should know
that time. If not, I’ll be here on Saturdays. Just like I have been. I suppose
that it’s nice to talk to somebody incompetent that isn’t my fucking coworker
or employee. You provide a different kind of incompetence. Congratulations."
Eren frowns but gives him his phone anyway, Levi plugs his information in, and
his frown probably turns into a smile a little bit too quickly when he gets it
back. They talk a little bit more and leave after paying and finishing their
food.
Eren has a bit of a difficult time not texting right away because holy shit,
Levi just gave me his number. This is so fucking cool.
Their weekly meetings continue and they become surprisingly comfortable with
each other’s company, even though Levi remains slightly guarded and doesn’t
talk for the sake of talking like Eren does. They get to the point that sitting
in silence isn’t always weird or filled with tension, it’s often just silence.
Silence with someone else. It’s nice, actually. Nice for Eren because it’s a
new experience and sensation for him, and nice for Levi because he can focus,
uninterrupted, on reading and his thoughts.
Which, for the record, seem to revolve around Eren more and more with each
passing week.
Weekly lunch meetings become weekly lunch meetings with occasional weekday
after-school, dinner, and one-or-two well-timed-morning-coffee meetings. Eren
has to be incredibly careful to do things in a way that his parents don’t
suspect anything, which means that he either sneaks out, waits until they’re
out of the house, or lies and says that he’s going out with friends (which
isn’t really a lie, is it? Levi’s a friend, right?). He eventually gets pretty
good at doing it. Money generally isn’t an issue because he rarely orders
things, and some of what he does order is purchased by Levi because “You’re
probably up to your fucking ears in student loan debt already, I don’t have a
problem with providing you with food. It’s a goddamn burger, not a lobster
tail. Eat it.” (He still resists, but Levi’s pretty good at intimidating him
into compliance.)
Levi generally doesn’t go out of his way to see people during his free time,
but Eren really isn’t half bad. He likes his ambition, his passion toward
things that he enjoys and wants, and the how easy he is to mess with. He has
noticed that Eren is quick to get riled up and gets easily offended, and since
Levi is naturally offensive, he sees Eren getting worked up a lot and it’s
probably more entertaining than it should be. Endearing as hell, too. He
wouldn’t mind getting to know him better. Now, Levi isn’t really one for
relationships. He doesn’t have time to spare, nor does he have much of a use
for one. They come with a lot of unnecessary bullshit and he has more important
things to do than worry about trivial fights and remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, and dates.
With that said, Eren really catches his eye and stands out, and Levi isn’t the
kind of person that just sits back and lets what he wants get away. He’s
proactive and has no problem taking matters into his own hands. He wants to see
the kid more? Then he’ll see the kid more. Levi invites him out to dinner at
some point in the late fall, nothing particularly fancy or anything. He brushes
it off as being tired of eating at the same places all the time, and if he’s
going to pay for Eren’s food, it may as well be something that actually strives
to go beyond just “edible.”
Eren gets out of the house with the excuse that he’s going out to hang out with
Marco or something because Mikasa would suspect something or want to tag along
if he said Armin or Jean. He walks up to this restaurant and it’s actually
pretty nice. A few steps above Olive Garden or a commercial steakhouse, but not
fancy enough that everyone eating is dressed well. Levi texts him to tell him
that he’ll be a little late, so Eren chills out outside the restaurant and
awkwardly stares at people and zones out. He feels a tap on his shoulder and
nearly pisses himself, which draws a satisfied snort out of Levi. “Fall asleep
with your eyes open? I didn’t think that was actually possible.”
Eren turns to counter it with a smartass remark but he stops himself when he
sees what Levi is wearing. His heart actually skips a beat and then compensates
by beating twice as hard and fast. He’s wearing a dress shirt with his jacket
over one arm, really nice pants and a fucking bow tie. Eren automatically feels
underdressed on top of completely flustered because Levi looks really good,
holy shit. 
"Wait, what?"
"Earth to Eren? Did you pull an all-nighter last night or something? If that’s
the case, you need to go back home. I’m not going to be responsible for your
shitty sleep habits and, ultimately, you failing out of school."
Eren scowls and says “I was just zoning out, I’m not failing anything. Come on,
it’s cold. Wait, why are you so dressed up? Was I supposed to look nice?”
"I got out of work late and didn’t have a chance to change. Problem?"
"No, I like it."
"What?"
"Nothing, let’s go. It’s cold." They go in and their dynamic doesn’t really
change just because they’re in a different restaurant, though Eren does make a
big deal about not wanting to get anything, then about not getting anything
expensive, then about not getting dessert, then about contributing to the bill.
(All of which Levi promptly shuts down. His treat, he has money to spare.) At
this point, conversation comes naturally and they have no problem filling
silences, but they also have no problem sitting in silence without feeling
anxious (big difference from their first lunch, which had made Eren so uneasy
that he had wanted to curl up and disappear). They get out and it’s after
sunset, and the sky still has faint hints of crimson but the stars are out, and
it’s cold enough that they can see their breath. It’s still early, though.
Really early, since the sun sets incredibly early now.
Eren decides to take a huge risk and tentatively asks, “It’s still really
early, do you want to walk around and kill some time? I really don’t want to go
back right now. I mean, if you have things to do, that’s fine too. Just
asking.”
"I don’t have anything to do, Eren. I may be an old man who works for the
state, but work stays at work when I need it to."
"You’re still hung up on that? I didn’t mean it like that, you’re not old.
Dammit. I don’t know, I guess we could walk around City Island for a while?
Haven’t done that since I was really young."
Levi shrugs and they start toward the bridge. They’re talking about the fact
that Levi works in the capitol building in the middle of the fucking city and
wow, walking around City Island (which is 1.3 miles and 22 minutes walking
distance away from the capitol building) is exactly what he wants to do with
his time off of work. Really. It’s so nice being away from his place of
employment for once.
After they cross the bridge, they start toward the “beach” area of the island
and continue exchanging smart-ass remarks because that’s what they do. Levi
doesn’t really initiate conversation because Eren seems more than happy to talk
about whatever’s on his mind, so he stays fairly quiet, listens, just watches
Eren walk and talk (which he isn’t particularly good at) while they pass
closing vendors and people leaving with their children. He can’t help but
notice that he looks pretty cold. Is he shivering?
They finally get to the “beach” (which is really just a concrete platform by
the river) and Eren, who has been complaining about his feet hurting since they
left the bridge, immediately plops down by the water, brings his legs up to his
chest, and rests his chin on his knees. The bridge and city are all lit up and
they’re reflected in the water, and that paired with the sound of the river’s
current is surprisingly relaxing even though it’s roughly 40 degrees and Eren
is shivering. 
Levi doesn’t particularly want to sit on the ground by a nasty-ass river in the
middle of a fucking city, especially when it’s cold as balls and the concrete
is probably uncomfortable, so he stands beside Eren instead. Clearly
disappointed, Eren looks up and raises an eyebrow in a silent request for him
sit the fuck down, but he counters it with a look of unadulterated disgust.
Eren frowns and goes back to silently watching the river while Levi watches him
shiver. He is so fucking handsome right now with the light reflecting off of
his hair, his face, and in his eyes. It should be illegal for anyone this
goddamn young and pretty to be cold, so he settles down beside him with an
irritated grunt and slides his jacket over Eren’s shoulders. “It’s almost
December, I don’t know what the hell possessed you to come outside wearing that
flimsy excuse for a jacket. You’re a mess.”
Eren immediately refuses it: “No, then you’ll be cold, I’m fine, seriously, I
grew up further north and I’m used to the cold. We didn’t always have
functioning heat because it broke down a lot, especially on particularly cold
days.”
"You’re shaking so hard I can feel you through the goddamn concrete. You’re
probably causing earthquakes on the other side of the globe from your ass,
somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Put it on."
"No."
"Eren, I swear to god… Do you remember the offer I made to you when we met for
the second time at the restaurant?"
Eren thinks about it hard, he really does. The only thing he remembers about
that afternoon is trying not to piss himself when he saw Levi’s face at the
table. Was it important? Shit, how had he forgotten? “No, I’m so sorry. I
wasn’t paying attention, it’s completely my fault. Was it important? What did
you offer?”
"To shove my foot so far up your ass that you’ll taste it." Eren just blinks at
him and Levi explains, "I’ll make it happen if you don’t shut up and wear it."
Stubborn ass that he is, Eren shakes his head and hands it back to Levi. “Don’t
want it. You’ll be cold. I don’t want you to get sick or something because of
me. You actually have an important job that you need to go to, so I can’t let
you sit here in forty degree weather without a jacket.”
Levi looks like he’s about to throttle someone, so when he starts to move
toward him, Eren instinctively flinches away… but Levi just plants himself
directly beside him, wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulls him close into his
body, and drapes his jacket around their combined shoulders when they’re close
enough that it fits. At this point, Eren is blushing from his ears all the way
down his neck and he’s shaking even harder, and this time it’s not from the
cold. Levi has never been this close to him before. He doesn’t ever really
touch him at all, to be honest. He smells incredible, his arms are strong, his
entire body is warm, he’s so short, and he can really only hear his breathing
over the sound of his own heart beating out of his fucking chest. Oh god, his
chest is going to burst. He likes this. What does he do? Does he say anything?
(Is he even capable of forming words?) Where does he put his arms? Does this
even mean anything beyond sharing body heat for the sake of not wanting to be
cold?
The worry is reflected on Eren’s face and Levi can feel him shaking in his
arms. God fucking damn, this brat is a disaster. He’s a stupidly cute disaster.
No, stupid and cute. “Problem solved.”
Eren nods and stammers, “Y-yeah, yep. Warm.” Levi doesn’t feel the need respond
to that because he’s perfectly happy sitting in silence and just enjoying the
night, but Eren has this notion that the silence is leaning toward
uncomfortable, so he nervously messes with his fingers and actually gets a
little frustrated with the situation. In a last-ditch effort to fix something
that isn’t exactly broken, he turns toward Levi and asks, “The lights are
really nice to look at, right?” but he doesn’t make eye contact because there
is just no way, absolutely no way that he’ll be able to keep his composure.
Definitely a disaster. Something tells Levi that he knows exactly how to work
him up even more, and he doesn’t let the opportunity pass him by. It benefits
him too, after all. “I was actually thinking that there was something far nicer
that I’d rather look at.” Eren’s face flushes bright red because he catches the
hint immediately. He looks away and prays that Levi can’t see his blush in the
darkness. (He can.) “Am I making you uncomfortable? I can leave, Eren.”
The suggestion makes Eren shake his head furiously and he almost interrupts
Levi mid-sentence with a stream of “No no no no no no no it’s fine I’m fine
stay here this is okay it’s fine seriously!” 
Levi laughs out loud, Eren gets embarrassed and shuts up because he’s slightly
irritated, and this time Levi is the one to say something.
"This is the perfect place to watch fireworks. It usually gets pretty crowded,
but when you get lucky and manage to get here when there aren’t a lot of people
out."
"It’s almost December, though."
"Astute fucking observation. Jesus christ, you’re just determined to kill the
mood.”
"Wait, I… Sorry. Okay. Fireworks. You like fireworks? I’m surprised. Do you see
them with your girlfriend? Or, uh, partner?"
Levi looks at him in dead silence for a long time with a look
that screams ‘you’re a fucking idiot.’ “You think I’m in a relationship?
Really? I eat lunch with you one a week and I occasionally eat dinner and
breakfast with you. I just took you to dinner, came here alone with you, and
you think I’m in a relationship. You know, I shouldn’t be this stunned.”
"Well… I mean, I didn’t think I should read into any of that or anything. I
figured we were just friends, so it made sense for you to have a partner or
something."
"Just friends? Mm. Okay." Eren expects Levi to do something, but it sure as
hell isn’t shrugging off his jacket, putting it back onto Eren’s shoulders, and
moving away. He stares after him, perplexed and disappointed, but Levi doesn’t
look back and doesn’t even seem particularly effected. Even so, it makes Eren’s
heart hurt and he knows that he fucked up. What should he do? Shit. On impulse,
he moves close again and repositions the jacket over them, nestles a little bit
closer into Levi’s chest, and completely avoids eye contact again because he’s
more or less mortified.
Okay. For a few moments, Levi had been concerned that he had overstepped his
boundaries when Eren had voiced his confusion. Eren moving toward him reminds
him that he just isn’t particularly good at picking up social cues, which isn’t
too difficult to imagine because of his youth, and it’s exactly what Levi had
hoped for. It’s permission to move forward, and it’s about fucking time. “You
know, you can look at me.” Eren scowls and raises his head a little bit, just
enough that Levi can catch his chin with his fingers and pull him over to kiss
him. It catches him off guard and surprises him, but he doesn’t pull away like
Levi expects him to. Instead, he kisses back, and he isn’t particularly
skilled, but Levi hadn’t expected much to begin with and it isn’t like there is
any tongue involved for Eren to fuck up. 
Levi’s lips are gentle but claiming, and Eren feels like his heart is going to
burst. His throat burns and his head swims and his skin tingles when Levi
raises a hand and runs his fingers through his hair. It feels like there’s
electricity coursing through his veins and even though his kissing experience
is fairly limited, this is incredible and he knows that he hasn’t felt like
this before. Oh man, he really likes Levi. He likes him more than he has any
right to like him, but that doesn’t even matter because they are kissing and
now Levi’s fingers are entwined with his and his other hand is on his neck and
he feels like his body might just shut down from sensory overload. 
Levi begins to pull away but Eren follows his lips and rubs his hand against
the grain of his undercut. It makes him shiver, which in turn makes Eren shiver
and pull away, breathing hard. Levi smiles— a real, genuine smile that makes
Eren dizzy— and kisses him softly one more time then pulls Eren’s head down on
his shoulder and wraps his arm around his waist. They don’t feel the need to
say much for the rest of the night beyond agreeing that they should go home.
The hand-holding on the bridge comes naturally, especially since its late
enough that there aren’t many people still out, and there is an unspoken
realization between them that things between them have just changed and
won’t ever be the same again. It’s also an unspoken realization that the change
is undeniably for the better.
Levi offers to drive him home but Eren refuses and tells him that it’s a really
nice night out and he could use some time to just get lost in his thoughts. He
decides against fighting him over it and settles for a goodbye kiss that leaves
Eren wanting more, and another quick, chaste kiss promising it. Eren watches
him drive away and his heart sinks because he fucked up so badly letting
himself like a thirty year old when he’s fifteen.
Especially since he really doesn’t want to say something. He knows it’s a
little selfish, but things are so good right now. So good. He doesn’t want to
ruin that.
They spend the next month doing what they have been doing, to the point that
Eren’s parents know that he goes out on saturdays to lunch with friends and has
a new friend at school that he hangs out with after school occasionally.
Sneaking out still occurs regularly, especially since they haven’t exactly
decreased the number of times they see each other. They’re in a good place.
Nothing is awkward after the kiss and, surprisingly enough, not much changes.
They still talk and Levi relentlessly teases Eren, Eren snarks back, and the
only difference is that they occasionally kiss. There aren’t any labels and
that’s fine; things are comfortable and easy and fairly uncomplicated.
Levi lets Eren know that Christmas is his birthday two weeks prior and that he
understands that they can’t do anything together that day. Instead, they
schedule to do something on New Years since it’s close and somewhat easier.
Eren’s fine with that because it’s pretty normal for him to spend New Years
with friends watching fireworks and shit, so that’ll be easy to explain. He
does, however, need to worry about getting Levi a gift. He’s a broke “college”
student and, on top of that, he doesn’t have the foggiest clue what someone
like Levi would want anyway. It’s quite possibly the sappiest idea he could
come up with, but he decides on writing Levi a poem.
Does he know the first thing about writing poetry? No. But it can’t be that
difficult.
Levi parks his car in his personal parking space at the capitol, so Eren meets
him there and they start walking to the riverfront. Levi suggests that they go
to City Island, so they push through crowds, cross the bridge, and Levi
immediately takes him to the beach. They hadn’t rushed to get there so it’s a
little crowded, but they find a place to sit together (read as: Levi shot a few
glares and people moved enough that they could squeeze in and have room to
spare).
It’s 11:45, so they still have 15 minutes until everything actually starts, and
Eren decides that this is the perfect time to celebrate Levi’s birthday. He
leans in and kisses his cheek and Levi looks over at him with an eyebrow
raised. He’s almost overwhelmingly nervous and he’s convinced that he’s going
to vomit, but he takes a deep breath and forces himself to speak anyway, just
loudly enough that Levi can hear it. When he finishes, he ends it with a “Happy
birthday, Levi,” and waits, breath held, for him to say something.
"Are you sure you’re an English major?"
Eren opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to figure out how he should
react to that, and settles on frowning and focusing on the sky and the people
around him. He had managed to at least wish him a happy birthday, and that was
more important than anything. The poem idea was stupid and he knew it, he was
prepared for this reaction, wasn’t he? It didn’t stop it from stinging a little
bit, but it wasn’t a big deal. Whatever. No need to say anything else. Ignoring
the dull ache of disappointment, he brings his legs up to his chest, crosses
his arms on his knees, and buries his face in his elbows. 
Levi realizes that he may have actually really hurt his feelings (he’s not
heartless, but he’s not always great at being sensitive), so he runs a hand
through his hair and leans into his ear so that he doesn’t have to yell over
the people around them. “That was probably the most heartfelt gift I’ve ever
received and I enjoyed it. Now, look.” He motions toward the city. Everyone
around them starts the countdown.
Ten. Levi moves to sit directly beside Eren.
Nine. He pulls his jacket over both of their bodies. A familiar action.
Eight. He wraps an arm around his shoulders.
Seven. He pulls him into his side, pulls him a little closer.
Six. Eren snakes and arm around Levi’s waist.
Five. Levi finally takes advantage of his height and rests his head on Eren’s
shoulder.
Four. Their unoccupied hands find each other.
Three. They interweave their fingers.
Two. Unknowingly, the both smile at how well they fit together.
One. Eren gently settles his chin on the top of Levi’s head.
Happy New Year!  Eren lifts his chin when Levi shifts and looks up at him. The
bursts of orange, red, purple, pink, and yellow reflect in the blue-grey of his
eyes, and Eren can barely hear the crackles of the fireworks over his own
deafening heartbeat. Their lips meet amidst an explosion of color and noise,
and Eren’s almost positive that the fireworks are for them and them alone. Levi
is definitely positive that Eren is infinitely more breathtaking than what’s
occurring around them.
Levi pulls away for a moment, disregards Eren’s subsequential melodramatic
pout, and questions quietly, “Now, I actually have a request for one last gift.
Are you willing to hear me out?”
Eren momentarily panics because he still really doesn’t have money for gifts,
but nods anyway.
"How about we make this official, hm? Give it a name."
"You mean…?"
"Instead of my brat, you’ll be my boyfriend. Yes."
Eren is stunned by such a sweet, sentimental statement coming from Levi’s lips,
of all people, but he doesn’t have to be asked twice. Instead of verbally
agreeing, he chooses to respond with a gentle kiss that evolves into something
more complete and meaningful. Levi tests the waters and tentatively presses his
tongue past Eren’s lips for the first time, and though it catches Eren by
surprise and he doesn’t have a sliver of experience, he rolls with it and
kisses back.
His nerves eventually catch up with him, and Levi notices because his hands are
shaking and he’s going fast, too fast. “Hey, speed racer, there’s no rush. Calm
down, slow down. Breathe.” He brushes his thumb along his bottom lip and looks
back up at his eyes with an eyebrow raised, waits until Eren takes a breath and
nods, then kisses him again. It does the trick. Eren’s still shaking, but he
forces himself to slow down and savor Levi’s parted lips and skillful tongue,
possessive but not demanding. The moment that he’s capable of thinking clearly
again, he notices that wow, this is really fucking nice. 
They pull back and Levi immediately moves to Eren’s ear again, whispers “Happy
New Year,” and kisses the curve of his jaw, then returns his head to his
shoulder and they both sit and watch the fireworks. Eren’s still too fucking
happy to focus on anything and Levi is too pleased to particularly give a shit,
but they watch anyway and enjoy how everything else melts away. It’s nice.
Really nice.
They don’t get back to Levi’s car until 2 AM because of crowds, idiots, and
just a general disinterest in rushing. The traffic is absolutely ridiculous
going out of the city, so Eren keeps Levi company in his car.
Or, Eren considers keeping Levi company in his car until he gets a really good
look at his car, a really good look, for the first time. It’s a sleek,
metallic-black Jaguar XF, far more expensive than any car he has ever been in
before. Levi unlocks it and orders Eren to take his shoes off before he sits
down because “This thing is probably worth more than all of money that you’ve
ever possessed combined.” He gets in himself, but Eren just stands outside the
door with a frown and an expression that Levi can’t read. “The hell are you
waiting for? It’s cold; the heat’s gonna kick on any second now. Don’t just
stand there with the door open.”
"I don’t want to risk getting this dirty if it’s this expensive and it’s yours.
Don’t worry about it, okay? I think I’ll just get going, thank you for
everything."
"If you don’t sit your ass down right now I’ll make sure that you never sit
again, Eren." His tone is flat and serious and the way he narrows his eyes
sends shivers down Eren’s spine, so he clumsily removes his shoes and sits down
stiffly with them in his lap. It’s obviously his first time in Levi’s car and
it’s more terrifying than he could’ve ever imagined. The interior is leather
with a beautiful figured ebony veneer and it smells like sandalwood, which is
somehow incredibly fitting for Levi. He shoves his hands in his lap along with
his shoes and stares at his feet because his nerves have been a fucking mess
all night and this is just making it worse. Levi reaches over and moves his
hand to the base of his neck so that he can pull him over a little bit, and
kisses him. He works little circles into his shoulders with his fingers to calm
him down and it works to some extent. When they pull apart and Levi rests his
head back against the seat, Eren does the same.
"You know, you’re actually a lot nicer than you seem to want people to think
you are."
Levi stares. Nobody has ever vocalized that before and it actually catches him
off guard. It catches Levi, the man that seems to have his shit together
completely, off guard. Eren can see it in the way that he opens his mouth to
respond and nothing really comes out. “It’s not bad, that’s not what I meant.
I’ve just seen the way that people veer away from you and slink away when they
see you. You’re outwardly intimidating, but…” His voice trails off because he
feels awkward finishing his thought, especially with the way that Levi’s
watching intently.
"Continue."
"I take that back, that’s not a good example. You're intimidating. You’re more
than that, though, and that’s what people don’t get. Your appearance doesn’t
express a fraction of who you really are."
Eren’s convinced that he’d said something wrong because Levi doesn’t say
anything for a long time. He sinks back into the chair and silently reprimands
himself for opening his mouth, and when he does, Levi finally says so softly
that he barely hears him, “Who am I?”
It’s not a question that Eren is expecting and it takes him a little while to
properly formulate a response. Even then, he’s not entirely sure that he’s
replying the way that he’s supposed to, but he chances it. “That’s what I’m
trying to figure out.”
Apparently that’s the correct answer, because Levi reaches over and takes his
hand. They don’t say much for the rest of the night, something that they are
used to by now. At one point, Levi leans his chair all the way back and opens
up the sunroof so they can see the sky, and Eren does the same. Not long
afterwards, he experiences a sudden surge of confidence and pulls Levi clumsily
into his chair, which is entirely too small for the both of them, and Levi ends
up settled awkwardly on top of him with his shoulder digging into Eren’s chest
and Eren’s hip digging into his lower stomach. They shift around while Eren is
embarrassed out of his mind and Levi ends up wrapped semi-comfortably in his
arms (only because he’s shorter, of course). Levi is really impressed that Eren
finally made a move.
Stargazing eventually turns into kissing and cuddling. They rest in each
other’s arms for a little while to celebrate their new and official
relationship status until Eren decides that it’s finally late enough that he
should go. Levi offers to drive him home, but Eren stubbornly insists on
walking home, so much so that he gets legitimately angry when Levi refuses to
relent. He literally cannot let Levi drive him home and he doesn’t let it go,
so eventually Levi just mutters “Fine, you little shit. Be safe. If I see your
stupid face on the morning news, ‘Dipshit College Student Gets His Dumb Ass
Shot,’ I swear to God-“
"I’ll be fine. I’ll text when I’m home. Goodnight."
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"I appreciate that you celebrated my birthday with me, kid. I can’t remember
the last time I actually did something for it." Eren’s heart aches pleasantly
and Levi opens his window just enough to kiss him before driving away.
He walks home feeling absolutely thrilled at the development they’ve made in
their relationship, and equally terrified at the situation that he has put
himself into.
He really, really likes Levi. Like most kids his age, Eren has been in
relationships before. Little ones, meaningless ones. He’s wanted girls before,
and he’s questioned his sexuality in the past (he still does, and he knows he’s
at least Levi-sexual), but this is different. Everything about this is
different. He wants to learn about him and his life— his past, present, future,
family, friends, and job— and he wants to become an irreplaceable part of that
life.  
Wouldn’t that make the age situation a serious issue? It would have to come up
eventually. Would Levi really care, though? Isn’t it just a number?
From that point on, their meetings don’t increase in frequency but they grow in
length, sometimes spanning from the moment Levi gets out of work to seconds
before Eren’s curfew (and occasionally continuing after Eren sneaks back out
and feeds Levi believable excuses for his absence). Dinners gradually turn into
dinners with movies, dinners with walks, dinners with just about anything they
want to do. Sometime in late January, on a Saturday night that Eren spends
“with Armin,” the mutual decision is made to go ice skating.
Levi is more or less naturally graceful. It doesn’t take him a very long time
to get used to being on the ice. Though he is far from professional and doesn’t
go out of his way to do tricks or show off, he’s quite good. It’s like
he floats on the ice. He makes it look effortless, especially to Eren. If Levi
can do it, then so can he. Easily.
Nope.
Getting both feet on the ice is difficult enough, but standing is entirely too
much to ask. Eren is on his ass before he has a chance to grasp onto anything
that can anchor him. Getting up by himself proves to be unrealistic, and much
to his dismay, Levi has to help him up and hold onto him until he finds his
rhythm and can properly balance for more than three seconds. He finally lets
go, but Eren grabs his hand out of necessity before he can go anywhere and they
skate holding hands for a little while.
Eren can actually skate at this pace now that he’s used to it. He’s feeling
confident—a little too confident— and he starts to speed up and tries to outdo
Levi. Levi entertains his ego for a little while, skating behind him and
letting him believe that he’s “trying to catch up.” In just a few smooth
motions, however, he easily overtakes him speed-wise and literally ends up
pulling him around the rink. Eren doesn’t even have a sense of balance anymore
because the momentum Levi is creating keeps him upright, but that means that he
flies directly into the wall when they separate. He hits hard and winds
himself, then states while gasping, “I’m really bad this.”
"No fucking shit, idiot. Skate with me, not against me.” The request is met
with a reluctant nod (his poor, poor wounded pride) and Levi holds his hand out
for Eren to take.
Levi is wearing really nice black gloves and Eren’s bare hands are turning
blue, so Levi skates around behind Eren and wraps his arms around him so that
he can hold both of his hands in his. His execution is flawless and it works
well until Levi inadvertently breathes on the back of Eren’s neck, destroys his
concentration, and sends them both toppling over each other. 
The atmosphere shift from that point on is undeniable. Levi ends up face-down
on Eren, straddling his ass, and the grinding action that occurs as Eren tries
to lift himself up pulls a gasp from Levi’s lips and Eren feels it. Against his
ass. It’s big and his cheeks flush as he breathes, “Shit." 
They haven’t done anything particularly physical yet and there hasn’t been much
of a rush to. Does Eren get hormonal and horny as hell? All the time. Has he
thought about Levi while acquainting himself with his right hand? Multiple
times. Together, however, they’ve never gone past occasionally grinding into
each other, teasing. There was never enough time and the situation was never in
their favor. 
"What are your plans for tonight?" Levi’s voice has a quality that Eren hasn’t
heard before and it makes his entire body burn.
"I don’t have any."
"You do now."
A million thoughts are racing through Eren’s mind, and every single one of them
is completely overwhelmed by the lust in Levi’s expression. They get up and it
isn’t long before they’re back at the car sharing heated kisses, but instinct
tells him to say something before things get serious. “Wow, alright. I think I
should get going now, it’s pretty late and I don’t want anyone to worry about
where I am. I had an incredible time tonight.”
"Didn’t you say that you didn’t have plans? Come home with me tonight. Part of
my life you’ve never seen."
"I should really be getting back, I don’t want to worry anyone."
"They shouldn’t worry, you can call them. Come on, you’re starting to shiver."
"I’m fine. It’s not like you even have to drive me home or anything, I mean, I
can get a taxi or-"
"Eren, come on. Don’t worry about them."
"I don’t really feel well, anyway. I should go home."
The look that Levi gives him reminds him that he’s a shitty liar. “If you just
don’t want to go home with me, I expect for you to just say so. Don’t feed me
bullshit, we’re not in high school anymore.”
He can’t ignore the twinge of pain inflected in his voice, and it breaks his
heart. “No, Levi, that’s not what I meant-“
"I’ll take you back to your place. That’s fine. Get in."
"Levi, listen to me, please-"
"Would you shut the hell up and get in the car? I said it was fine. I’d be a
shitty-ass person to get mad at you for something like this. Just tell me where
you’re staying and I’ll get you there. I’m not letting you waste your money on
a taxi."
"I’m fifteen."
It’s out in the open. Eren feels a weight lift from his shoulders, only to be
replaced by a solid ball of dread in the pit of his stomach. It’s out in the
open. Things can go anywhere from here, and there’s a good chance that he’ll
lose Levi completely. No, this was a bad idea. It was the right thing to do,
but this was a bad fucking idea. Levi regards him with unadulterated confusion.
“What?”
"I’m fifteen, Levi."
"Fifteen what? Speak fucking English."
"I’m fifteen years old."
The silence is deafening. Levi’s expression becomes stoic and his eyes lock
onto Eren, who can’t tell what he’s thinking because his poker face is too
good, too refined and well-practiced… but he knows that he’s thinking hard and
he isn’t pleased. Not in the least. “You’re fifteen years old.” Eren nods and
averts his eyes. “You let me believe that you were a college student for over
four months.” He nods again, and Levi blinks and nods too, slightly, as if to
force himself to understand and accept it. “And what made you think that it was
alright to withhold this information from me?”
"I didn’t think it was important and I didn’t want you to hate me."
"You didn’t think it was important." It isn’t a question, Levi says it as
though he’s convincing himself. Trying to make himself believe it despite it’s
absurdity. 
"Yeah. I’m so sorry, Levi. I know it was wrong of me, I’m really sorry. Please
don’t let things change between us, please-"
"Get in the car, Eren. I need to take you back to your… Your parents’ house, I
assume? Do they even know where you are?" He reconsiders for a moment and
mutters, "Of course not. I’m sure you made up some sort of story. I’ll drop you
off anyway, think of something to tell them. I won’t tell them anything."
"Can you at least text me when you get back home?"
"No."
"What? Why?"
"This was all built on lies, why the hell would I? You’re fifteen. This was a
fucking childish thing to do. You are a child. Do you understand how fucking
selfish what you’ve been doing is? That’s telling of your age.”
"But-"
"Don’t throw a fucking tantrum, get in the car so I can take you home. I’m not
letting you pay for a taxi, I’ll take you. Hurry up."
"Would you stop it? Levi, I don’t want to go home. I know I’m being selfish. I
don’t care. I want to be in your life and I know I fucked up. I really fucked
up. Are you really going to let that screw up all of the time we spent together
getting to know each other? Really? That’s so fucking ridiculous, you’re
fucking-"
"Get in the car, you fucking brat. You don’t want to go home? Fine. I won’t
take you home. Get in now, that’s not a request. That’s an order." Chills go
down Eren’s spine because Levi’s voice is grave, but his face is still calm and
unemotional. He looks like he’s fine, but the atmosphere is oppressive and
tense. Eren has no idea what’s going to happen but he gets in anyway, quietly,
and they sit in the most awkward, upsetting silence that they’ve experienced
together. Levi doesn’t even glance in Eren’s direction, not until they’re at
his house and he’s opening the door for him. 
"Do you need to call your parents or something?" Levi’s voice is cold, so cold
that it makes Eren’s chest hurt.
"No. Levi, I really-"
"I’ll take you back in the morning." He’s in the kitchen and he pours himself a
tumbler Jack Daniel’s, a glass of coke (Eren’s favorite; he’s not even
consciously aware that he’s already memorized it), and brings it to the living
room. "Don’t spill it anywhere. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get ready to
sleep. I’ll be up early to take you home. Goodnight." He exits the room and
Eren watches him turn into a door at the end of his hallway. 
Oh, he fucked up. He knows he fucked up, and it hurts so much to breathe. He
collapses back onto the couch feeling empty and it’s an incredibly soft couch,
but he can’t get comfortable and it smells like Levi and he really fucking
likes him. It hurts. He can’t accept that it’s over, he can’t accept that he’s
being treated like a child after four months of building up to being seen as
his equal. He needs to say something, he needs to do something.
He stands up from the couch and goes directly to the door that he saw Levi
disappear into, listens for a moment, hears nothing, and pushes the door open a
little bit to see if he’s still there. He opens his mouth to call his name but
his breath catches in his throat before anything comes out.
Levi’s glass of rum is sitting untouched on the small dresser beside his bed.
Facing the far wall, he’s hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his
head in his hands, unmoving and silent. This is the most upset Eren has ever
seen him. His fingers are curled stiffly and distraughtly in his hair (which is
now pulled back messily) and it looks like he hadn’t even bothered hanging up
his scarf and sweater because they’re scattered haphazardly on his floor.
Incredibly unlike Levi, who deeply values order and cleanliness. 
"… Levi?"
Eren watches him visibly tense at the sound of his voice and automatically
regrets coming. “Jesus, kid. I came here alone for a reason.” He straightens
himself up but doesn’t look back to make eye contact. “Go back to the room, go
to sleep. I said we’re leaving early tomorrow.”
"Don’t call me ‘kid’."
"That’s what you are. I’d assume that’s preferable to ‘brat.’"
"I’m not a kid."
"You’re fifteen. You’re a child."
Anger surges through his body, a pulse of electricity from the top of his head
to the soles of his feet. He immediately walks in front of Levi and faces him,
stands so close that he’s the only thing that he can see. It’s ballsy,
incredibly ballsy, but it’s an impulse and he rolls with it. “That’s the
problem with you. People like you. ‘Adults’ in general. There’s this fucking
idea across the board that there’s a direct correlation between age and what
can and can’t be done and felt and experienced. Nothing changed. I’m still the
same fucking person I was the day that we met. I’m the person that you kissed.
I’m the person that spent New Years with you and watched the stars for hours.
I’m your fucking boyfriend,” Levi actually cringes at the word and Eren holds
back the sudden urge to cry, “regardless of the number you tack onto me.”
"That number matters. It’s important whether you want it to be or not. A hell
of a lot rides on that number, do you not understand that?"
"Would you stop being such a prick?"
"You’re really not helping your case right now.”
" What do I need to say, then? What are you so worried about?"
“This is illegal. Well, it isn’t yet, but it was fucking heading that way fast.
We can’t let anyone-“
"You told me not to worry about other people earlier, don’t be a hypocrite."
"Do you even hear yourself right now? Do you understand the consequences of any
of this? What about this is so hard for you to grasp?"
"No, what about this is so hard for you to grasp? I was fifteen when I spilled
my soup on you, when I bought you lunch, when you kissed me at the river and
when we saw the fireworks. Why does a number have the power to change how you
feel about me? That’s so fucking shallow!”
“Goddamnit, Eren. Nothing has changed how I feel about you, so you need to shut
your mouth when you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about-“
"You asked me who you were and I didn’t have an answer for you, but I’ve been
looking for that answer. People don’t usually get to know you, but I want to,
and now you’re pushing me away for something this stupid? Nobody needs to know.
We’ve made it this long without trouble. You look younger, I look older… We’ll
be careful, and I won’t tell anyone. My sixteenth birthday is in two months and
from then it’s only two years.”
"Get out."
"…What?"
"Get out of my room. Go back to the living room. We’re not doing this.
Everything that needed to be said has been said and nothing is going to change.
Stop wasting my time."
"But-"
"On second thought, stay here. You can have the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.
Bathroom is the next door over if you need it. I’d suggest showering, there are
towels in there. In fact… Please go shower. I’ll leave out shit you can change
into for the night while you’re gone. Call me if you need anything. Go."
Eren really, really wants to say something but decides against it and seems to
begrudgingly accept the fact that he has effectively lost Levi. Levi watches
him disappear around the corner and lies back on the bed with his hands over
his face when he hears the bathroom door click. Too much in a short period of
time, entirely too much. He feels like he’s been hit by a fucking train. He’d
been falling for this— no, don’t call him kid, don’t pour salt into the
wound— guy so hard. Genuinely falling. God, how long had it been? Years? He’d
had sex friends in the past, sure, but everything with Eren has been purely
emotional. He’s an impulsive, passionate, mouthy, adorable little fuck that
gives him headaches and makes him want to punch walls and kick things and kiss
him until he gasps his name, craves air and begs him for more. 
But… Fifteen. What a disgusting word. That’s like Eren dating a newborn. Oh
god, the thought makes Levi want to vomit. He’s a child. He hasn’t been exposed
to the world, he doesn’t have responsibilities. He doesn’t know what it means
to have a job, to have bills, to have self-discipline and self-control, or to
have a grasp on what life really is. He heaves himself up with a sigh and opens
a drawer, searches for a pair of sweatpants that would fit Eren.
Eren, who is taller than him. The bastard makes him feel like a kid…
No. What really makes Eren a child, besides a number? 
He’s impulsive, trusting, ignorant, unrefined, selfish, clumsy, and
inexperienced…. But didn’t those apply to the vast majority of Levi’s coworkers
and employees, too? Hanji is trusting and unrefined. Auruo is clumsy and
selfish. Erwin can be considered impulsive. The entire lot could be ignorant as
hell, and as far as inexperience goes… Well, wasn’t he inexperienced, too? He
sure as hell didn’t have experience with love, and that’s what this has become,
or is becoming quickly. Love. Fuck.
He can’t lie and tell himself that there aren’t qualities about Eren that he
adores. He’s is driven. As driven as Levi, if not more. He’s passionate,
tenacious, honest with his emotions, and he has an understanding of Levi’s mind
and emotions that demonstrates that he’s not stupid. He’s far from stupid. He’s
in no way, shape, or form a genius, and he’s quite clumsy with his actions and
words, sure. He does, however, possess a unique kind of intelligence that Levi
appreciates. He sees through Levi like an open window and it’s almost
disconcerting. As far as being selfish goes, he’s not entirely selfish. Hasn’t
he gone out of his way to make Levi happy for the last few months? 
That’s the problem with you. People like you. ‘Adults’ in general. There’s this
fucking idea across the board that there’s a direct correlation between age and
what can and can’t be done and felt and experienced.
Levi groans and rubs his head. He hated being thrown in with those stereotypes
when he was growing up. Looking back, he didn’t know half as much as
he thought he did, but he’d still known enough to invalidate those assumptions.
At fifteen, he had been through more than most twenty-one year olds had. In
some cases, age really is just a number, he realizes bitterly. A word that
holds a troubling amount of generalized meanings. A number that threatens to
snatch Eren right up from underneath him, to take him away for reasons based
upon generalized information. Eren is one of the outliers and they both have to
pay for matters that are out of their hands. This isn’t fair for anyone,
especially not Eren. 
Levi recognizes that he has effectively caused most of this mess. He had been
the one to initiate the kiss, to ask him out, and to let him get close. He
would be a coward to step out now and use the law as an excuse for not seeing
things through and taking responsibility for his actions. He wasn’t that kind
of person, he didn’t need to make excuses. Crap. Besides, four months of hard
work and money had been spent keeping Eren around and happy. Four months.
That’s a good chunk of time. Like hell he’ll just let this go without trying to
make it work. 
"Levi? Levi, Seriously, I’m not letting this go, okay?" Eren opens the door and
peers in before he enters (he obviously checked the living room first; Levi
sighs when he realizes that he’s still looking for something for him to wear)
and looks physically pained when he finally finds the man he’s been looking
for. It’s debatable whether or not he really wanted to find him. His voice
falters when he continues, “We don’t need to do anything physical. I won’t
force you to, I know it’s against the law or whatever. Nothing needs to be
physical. If you need that…” He bites his lip, clenches his fists, and finishes
with noticeable difficulty, “you can do it with someone else. Whoever you want.
I just want to stay with you. I’ll be careful, I’ll make sure nobody finds out
about us. We don’t have to go on dates in public, I don’t have to text you
anymore…” His chest tightens with each word and his eyes burn. He doesn’t want
to cry, he can’t cry. He’s not a child. He can’t let Levi see him cry over
this-
Levi slides a hand behind his neck and pulls his face down into his shoulder.
The physical contact is all Eren needs for the tears to fall, uninvited. “Eren.
It’s not your fault.” Levi can’t feel Eren’s tears because his hair is dripping
through the fabric of his shirt, but his shoulders and the gentle slope of his
bare back shake slightly with each suppressed sob. “I’m not doing anything with
anyone unless it’s you, don’t be an idiot. It’s my own fault-“
"I think I love you, Levi. Please don’t leave," It’s not particularly well-
timed, but he can’t hold it in any longer. Eren chokes out the confession and
tries to move back, but Levi slides an arm around his waist, just above his
towel, and keeps him close. Love. Hearing it out loud is strange and foreign.
Thinking and hearing are worlds apart, and Levi thinks he loves him, but
hearing it… It makes his heart stir in a way that it hasn’t stirred in years
and he knows. 
"I love you too, and I’m not leaving. We’ll figure this out. Don’t cry. Look at
me." Eren raises his head but turns away and wipes his eyes into the insides of
his elbows.
"I’m not fucking crying-"
Levi cups his face in both hands and kisses him, and Eren raises his arms
around his shoulders to hold him tightly. Levi drops his hands to his waist,
just above his towel, and slides his fingers down along his navel and his hip
bones, down beneath the fabric…
"Wait, Levi, are you sure about this? I mean it, we really don’t need to do
anything. I just don’t want you to leave."
"I’m not going anywhere and I plan on finishing what I started. I’m taking
responsibility for my actions, Eren, the most important of said actions being,"
he pauses, still unsure of the unfamiliar way that it sounds when it leaves his
lips, "loving you."
There’s a quiet sincerity in Levi’s words that makes Eren’s heart yearn for
him. He’d been freezing cold moments ago, unable to adjust to the sudden shift
from a warm shower to standing, still dripping, in a drafty room. Now every
inch of skin that Levi’s fingers graze burns beneath his touch. His breath
feels hot and dry in his throat, it’s labored as fingers wander to the small of
his back and, eventually, his ass for a firm squeeze that rolls their hips
together. The friction that it creates ensures that Eren can feel Levi’s
erection through the towel, and it makes his face flush. He’s really big. The
only thing between them is Levi’s pants when his fingers pull the towel away
and it falls to the ground. He doesn’t have time to feel embarrassed or self
conscious; their lips collide and it takes Eren’s breath away.
Levi pulls Eren up onto his waist and urges him to wrap his legs around him,
which he does, and he takes him back to the bed. 
He pushes him back and straddles his thighs. Once he’s situated, he works his
shirt off and sets it aside, and leans over Eren to kiss his neck and work his
hands down his body. “Wait, wait. Hold on. This… I’m not sure about this, Levi.
I’ve never done the gay sex thing.” He knows plenty about heterosexual sex, but
this is entirely different. Especially since something tells him that he’s not
going to be topping.
"If we’re going to make this relationship happen, Eren, we need to trust each
other completely. Understood?" Eren pauses thoughtfully, then nods. "Do you
trust me?" Another nod. "Good. I won’t hurt you. Lie down and relax for me." 
Eren hesitantly complies, wondering how on earth Levi expects him to relax when
he’s cold, naked, and about to be fucked. It’s overwhelming and vaguely scary,
to be honest. It doesn’t matter how turned on he is (and he’s turned on,
there’s no doubt about that; Levi pulls off his pants and boxers together and
Eren hasn’t ever been this fucking horny before), this is still new and
worrying. Levi brushes a hand up Eren’s side and kisses him tenderly. “You
don’t need to do anything this time. Don’t argue with me.” Of course, Eren
automatically opens his mouth to argue only to be cut off by Levi’s lips.
“Don’t test me.” Levi feels him swallow hard and tremble underneath his body,
face pale. He’s still inexperienced. Give him a break. He raises a hand to his
face and runs his fingers through his hair, down his cheek, along his jawline,
and traces his lips with a thumb. 
He doesn’t say anything, nothing needs to be said. Not now.
He trails kisses down his neck, chest, stomach, and down to his inner thigh,
where he stops and bites. Eren inhales sharply, senses already heightened to
Levi’s teasing, and Levi uses that as his cue to shift slightly and lick a line
from the base to the head of Eren’s half-hard cock. (Levi ensures that it
doesn’t stay half-hard for long.) Trembles give way to shivers and strained
breaths. Every nerve in Eren’s body feels electrically charged; he fists his
hands into the sheets and stifles a moan when Levi takes him into his mouth.
“L-Levi,” he breathes and seems surprised at the raspy quality of his voice,
“please don’t stop now, please.”
Levi deepthroats him and the vibrations from his soft chuckle make Eren’s toes
curl. The sensation is almost too much for him to handle, it overwhelms his
senses and he pulls Levi’s head back, breathing hard. He shifts back onto the
bed and sits up on his knees, then stares down at Eren. “Have you ever fingered
yourself?”
"What… What kind of question is that? What the hell?" His face is bright red
and his eyes fall from Levi’s, embarrassment returning following the pause in
stimulation. 
"I just sucked your dick and you’re embarrassed about touching yourself? Eren,
I’m telling you right now, sex isn’t anything like what you read about or see
in movies. You need to be comfortable with me, comfortable with yourself,
completely comfortable in general. I’m not judging your fucking dick size or
anything, this isn’t the goddamn locker room. There are a hell of a lot more
embarrassing things than fingering yourself, just wait until you hear the
noises your body is going to make. Come on, answer my question.” Eren frowns
and covers his face with his arm, knowing that it sounds stupid for him to be
ashamed and, for all intents and purposes, it is stupid, but he can’t help it.
He doesn’t answer verbally and instead chooses to nod, to which Levi raises an
eyebrow in disbelief. “Really? When this this start, hm?”
"Levi!" Eren yells, exasperated, and quickly adds, "That’s not helping
anything!"
"I just wanted to know if I was dealing with a virgin asshole, baby," he
counters sarcastically, flips him to bend over on his knees, and presses a
finger into him a little bit too suddenly. Eren’s breath hitches and his body
tenses enough that Levi has to rub up his back to soothe him and quietly
encourage, "Relax, relax. I won’t go fast. Breathe." He presses another finger
in and angles toward where Eren’s prostate should be-
“Fuck," he chokes and automatically ruts back onto Levi’s fingers, his body
seeking that jolt of pleasure. Levi works to hit it again and smirks at the
reaction it causes, because there’s something terribly sexy about seeing Eren
practically begging for the sensation that only he can give him. Something
terribly sexy about the way that he unintentionally moans Levi’s name, and the
way that Eren’s back arches and he pushes back against his knuckles after Levi
presses a third finger and allows him to get used to it. He feels his self
control starting to crumble. “Levi, I… I think I’m ready. I really want more
than just your fingers.” Yep, self control is gone.
He moves to the dresser beside his bed again, takes a quick sip of his
abandoned alcohol, and rummages through the first drawer until he finds the
condoms and lube that he had presumptuously purchased not too long ago. “Wait,
make sure those aren’t expired or whatever.”
"… These are new."
"Oh, really? Nevermind, sorry."
"Wait, just how fucking long do you think it’s been since I last got laid?"
"I don’t know, what made you assume that we’d be needing them enough that you
bought them already?" Eren retorts.
"Oh ho ho, touché," Levi replies, visibly impressed by Eren’s quick comeback,
and sits back behind him again. He pushes him onto his back and assumes
position between his legs after he pulls on a condom and applies a liberal
amount of lube (he isn’t taking any chances hurting him, not tonight), raises
both of his legs over his shoulders, and stops at his entrance. "Are you
ready?"
Eren nods and covers his face again while he feels his cheeks burn again. Levi
is being so careful and gentle, and while he’s not complaining, he can’t help
but feel bashful about the entire situation. He’s so exposed in every way. He’s
naked, he’s giving himself to Levi in the most intimate way, and they’ve
tentatively confessed their love. He feels like an open book and it’s bizarre,
it’s so bizarre. He’s not used to letting other people have this level of
control over him and his emotions.
Levi holds his thigh with one hand and reaches down with the other, pulls
Eren’s hand away from his face, and threads their fingers together. “Let me see
your face. If I’m going to break the law, I might as well enjoy it and do it
how I want to do it. I want to see everything, just in case I never get the
chance to again.”
"Why wouldn’t you get the chance to again?"
Levi pauses. He doesn’t blink, doesn’t breathe, doesn’t speak. A hint of a
small, sad smile works across his lips and he gives Eren’s hand a squeeze that
lasts a little bit too long, like it’s physically difficult to let go. Eren’s
brows furrow deeply and he digs his nails into Levi’s back when he finally
fills him. It feels like he’s being torn apart and it brings tears to his eyes,
but he’s in too much pain to care about crying in front of Levi again and he’s
in too much pain to read into Levi’s previous actions. “Are you alright?” A
frantic shake of his head. “Breathe, deep breaths. Relax your muscles. You
don’t have to do anything but relax and let me take care of you.” 
Eren manages a grunt of confirmation and tries to focus on something other than
the intense burn pulsing through his hips and lower back, which is
significantly easier said than done. Levi leans over him, bends him back a
little, and kisses him deeply in hopes that it’ll distract him long enough for
his body to adjust. It doesn’t, of course, but the pain dulls enough that Eren
can do something other than cringe. He kisses back and meets each push of
Levi’s tongue with his own until he’s numb enough that he’s comfortable with
moving. “Levi?” He pulls back and Levi looks down at him, obviously concerned
about his well-being. “Would you fuck me already?”
The little smartass. He’d been genuinely worried. “That’s really what you want?
Fine, you little shit.” Oh, he’ll fuck him. He works into the thrusts and
establishes a rhythm quickly. Eren bites down on his hand to keep himself
quiet, but Levi intervenes almost immediately and angles a sharp thrust
directly into his prostate. “Give me everything, Eren.” He still has plenty
that he wants to say and request, but he’s not capable of words beyond that
point, and Eren isn’t, either. He’s too busy focusing on every snap of Levi’s
hips, and Levi’s too busy focusing on how tight he is. It feels so fucking
good. His pace quickens as he feels himself nearing his limit and each thrust
is met with a moan (he can’t completely tell who’s making them, and he doesn’t
care), and as he comes undone, he fists a hand into Eren’s hair and kisses him
hard while he rides out his orgasm. His other hand falls from his thigh to
Eren’s cock, strokes until he finishes, and then he collapses beside him to
catch his breath.
Eren waits a few moments before he quietly murmurs, “Levi?”
"Would it kill you to just shut up and relax for a second?"
"It’s important."
Levi sighs and lazily props himself up on an elbow to face him. His exhaustion
is apparent and Eren feels bad, but not bad enough to leave him alone. “I’m
listening.”
"Why did you say that you wouldn’t get the chance to do this again?"
"Jesus christ, you ruin the mood every single time we do something." He sighs
and seriously contemplates ignoring the question, but Eren’s face is too
troubled and hurt. He’s like a goddamn puppy, impossible to disregard. "Do you
remember what I told you I do for a living?"
"Yeah, you do stuff for the government, don’t you?"
"I do. That means I’m constantly in the public eye. This is incredibly illegal.
If anyone finds out about this, I’ll have charges filed against me in a
heartbeat. Statutory rape-“
"This is consensual, though. We’re in a relationship, we’ve been in a
relationship for months. I wanted this."
"No, that’s not the rape that I mean. Statutory rape. You’re underage."
"Why is there this idea that everyone under the age of eighteen is incapable of
thinking for themselves? I get that some people aren’t mature enough to make
good decisions, but… Why the hell can’t I make choices about who I want to
love, Levi? I love you and it’s not fair that I’m being punished for it. It’s
not fair that you’re being punished for it, since I’m forcing you to stay with
me.”
"You’re not forcing me to do anything. I’m with you because I want to be with
you. I spent a hell of a lot of time and money on you, I put so much of myself
into this goddamn relationship. I let myself fall for you for a reason, there’s
no reason that a single word should void all of that. You said it yourself:
nothing changed. You’re the same idiotic shithead that you were when you ruined
my fucking suit."
"I don’t want anything to happen to you, though."
"Quit running your mouth." He moves a lock of hair away from Eren’s eyes,
kisses him chastely, and presses their foreheads together. "Go to sleep. I’m
going to take a shower and get cleaned up." Eren bites his lip, nods, and
watches him leave the room and shut the door.
He feels marvelous, for the most part. His entire body is warm and tingling
pleasantly, especially the places that Levi’s fingers had brushed. Even hearing
Levi’s name in his mind makes his head spin and his heart swell. It’s unclear
to him how much of it is just post-sex bliss or love, and he settles on the
idea that it’s an equal mixture of both. He loves Levi. It’s not an “I think”
or “maybe” anymore, he’s positive that he loves him. Everything about
Levi, everything, is oddly incredible. His bizarrely beautiful grey eyes, his
perfectly styled hair, his young face, his deceivingly small build (he’s
surprisingly muscular, Eren has come to realize), his sense of style, his
sarcasm, his unrefined sense of humor, the way that he speaks, how fucking
talented he is at everything he does… Even the fact that he’s an asshole is
endearing. 
Levi’s words won’t stop cycling through his head, though, no matter how much he
wills them away.
He does work for the government, and he is in the public eye constantly. What
if one of them slips up? What if someone catches them in public, or somehow
hears about their relationship? While Eren isn’t entirely acquainted with the
laws regarding age, he knows that when he hears about things like this in the
media, it tends to become a big deal. He’s heard of people getting up to twenty
years for it, and it’s frightening to think about. 
Levi would lose his job, of course. He’d lose everything he’s worked so hard
for. Thirty-one years of his life would be thrown away for Eren’s sake. The
thought of people looking down on him for dating a fifteen year old is
unbearable, especially knowing that everything would be his fault. What if he
gets physically attacked? This is an underage relationship, and on top of that,
it’s a gay underage relationship. The potential for hate crime is too much to
ignore. His contentment contorts and dissolves into uneasiness and he feels
sick to his stomach. This all started with the fucking soup. 
Would he go back and stop himself from going into the restaurant for Levi’s
sake? It breaks his heart to consider, but he would. In a heartbeat. This isn’t
what he wanted to happen.
He’s never been so grateful to be exhausted, because otherwise, there would be
no way that he’d be able to sleep. Not with this on his mind.
Levi steps back into the room while Eren is walking the line between conscious
and unconscious. It’s too late for him to have regrets now, what’s done is done
and he’s prepared to face whatever consequences he needs to face. Is he still
worried? Yes, but more about Eren than anything else. This is a lot
for anyone to shoulder, especially when they’re directly involved. The real
world is one hell of a shitty place and if Eren hasn’t already realized that,
he will soon. Very soon. The only thing that Levi can do is guide him through
it and provide support when needed.
He settles down beside Eren and presses his lips gently to his forehead, his
nose, his lips, and the temple closest to him. The situation is delicate and it
will be delicate for three more years. He’ll have to live every day in the
moment, relish every moment spent with Eren just in case it really is the last.
The boy in his arms is special to him. He reminds him of himself and there is a
respect there, a sense of equality. Levi wraps an arm around his shoulders; his
grip is firm and he doesn’t plan on letting go.
——————————————-
"Come on, please? All I want to do is help. I know how to cook, I mean it."
"Making sandwiches doesn’t count as cooking."
"But-"
"Neither does microwaving tv dinners. Besides, you’re messy as hell. Just go
sit in the living room and do something. I don’t care what. Watch TV, read
something, sleep, doesn’t matter. Just don’t make a mess of anything."
Eren frowns and crosses his arms over his chest. This is fairly standard. He
has come to the realization that Levi is incredibly protective of his kitchen,
to the point that he is barely permitted to touch the fucking refrigerator
without being reprimanded. In fact, he’s anal about a lot of things. Where he
puts his shoes, where he hangs his coat, how clean he is when he’s in his car…
He sighs and turns toward the couch in the middle of the living room. The TV
would have to do.
He grabs the remote and scrolls through channels without paying much attention
to what flashes by. It’s just a waiting game now, he just needs to keep himself
busy until Levi finishes dinner. They’ve been doing this for a while now,
opting to have most of their dates at home with home-cooked meals, rented
movies, video games (Levi kicks ass at Uncharted 3, it’s ridiculous), and a
healthy amount of cuddling. He can’t complain. It’s more intimate this way, and
he enjoys the closeness and the attention. Even though he feels incredibly
selfish for thinking this way, he really likes knowing that Levi is his and his
alone. Despite the fact that they’ve established time and time again that the
age gap isn’t of consequence, Eren still feels insecure when they’re out in
public. Levi’s attractive and it’s impossible to ignore the lustful stares he
gets, and it’s even more impossible to convince himself that he’s the best
option for him. Too much going against him.
"Oi, are you daydreaming again? Dinner’s ready. Get your head out of your ass
and come eat."
Levi’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts, but he’s still markedly troubled
while he crosses the threshold into the dining room. He sits and Levi watches
him carefully. He’s gotten good at understanding Eren’s moods, and this one has
been showing up entirely too often.
"I don’t hate you nearly as much as I hate everyone else.”
Eren stares blankly at him. It had clearly been meant as a compliment, but Levi
is decidedly bad at those. “Uh… Thanks?”
Levi knew that he’d messed up the moment that the words left his lips, but
Eren’s face falls and it hits him that he’s actually really hurt. “Okay, look
at me. You are-“
The doorbell interrupts him mid-sentence, and Eren uses it to escape the
tension and breathe. “I’ll get it.” He’s out of his chair before Levi can even
blink.
The few steps that it takes to reach the door are just enough for Eren to
regain his composure and force a smile. He opens it with his mouth open, ready
to greet his guest, but his words catch in his throat.
"Does a Mr… Hm. Mr-"
"You’re looking for Levi." It’s not a question, it’s a monotone statement laced
with horrified disbelief. The two officers nod and wait expectantly for Eren to
do what he knows he’s required to do. "Levi? Could you come here for a second?"
His voice is weak and detached, and it feels distant. The entire scene
unfolding in front of him feels distant. Levi’s expression doesn’t change when
he sees the police at his door, not even when he offers himself up.
"You’re under arrest for statutory rape. You have the right to remain silent,
anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have
the right to an attorney and if you can not afford an attorney, one will be
appointed to represent you. You can choose to exercise these rights at any
time…" Eren lunges for Levi before he can finish and one of the guards
restrains him almost immediately. They start back to the car and Eren tries to
catch up, he tries so incredibly hard but his legs won’t move fast enough. He’s
running, he’s trying with every ounce of his being to run, but they just keep
getting further and further away. 
"He didn’t do anything!" The words tear from his throat and reverberate against
invisible walls, teasing him with his own desperation. "It’s not his fault, he
didn’t do anything wrong! It’s my fault, this is all my fault. Levi? Levi! This
is my fault, it’s only my fault."
Court hearings. Newspaper headlines and media coverage. Gossip and hate. Ruined
lives. He’ll never live this down, it’ll be plastered on his reputation until
he dies. He ruined his life. He’s gone, it’s all over, they weren’t careful
enough. He wasn’t careful enough. 
He’s gone, it’s my fault. Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone…
—————————————————————-
"Eren? Oi, Eren. It’s okay, come here."
He returns to consciousness with burning eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Between
shuddering breaths, he observes his surroundings, taking a moment to recall
where is is, why he’s here, and the reason behind Levi holding him so tightly
right now.
"Are you awake now? It was just a dream. You’re safe. Nothing’s happening to
you."
"I wasn’t worried about me," he whispers hoarsely and wipes tears from his
face, "it was you. Levi, I’m going to ruin your life, I’m so sorry. I don’t
want them to arrest you, this isn’t your fault, this is all my-"
"Hold the fuck on. First of all, nobody is arresting me. You won’t ruin my
life. This isn’t all your fault."
"It is, though. I wish I could go back and stop myself from walking into that
restaurant. I didn’t expect for any of this to happen and there’s no going back
now. It bothers me so much that there isn’t a single thing I can do to swing
this in our favor, I just-"
"Shut up. Nobody could’ve predicted that your utter lack of grace would
eventually evolve into this. It’s such a waste of time and energy to regret the
decisions that you’ve made, Eren. There’s nothing you can do about them now. At
the time I’m sure that you believed, from the bottom of your heart, that
everything you did was right. Anyone would’ve. It’s damn near impossible to see
into the future or predict every consequence that your choices may have, so you
just have to trust that you won’t regret them in the long run. I’m telling you
right now that you better not fucking regret it. I don’t regret giving you my
suit, buying you lunch, giving you my number, buying you dinner, taking you
places, or making you mine. I regret nothing. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
"Sure, but this still isn’t how everything should’ve turned out. It’s my own
fault for lying, but I couldn’t help it. It felt so necessary at the time."
"Explain."
"I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I really didn’t. Especially not you. I just…
It’s really fucking hard. People judge so heavily based on age. Everything
revolves around it. Nobody ever takes me seriously when they know that I’m
fifteen. Every single problem that I deal with is automatically discredited and
filed away as ‘hormones’ or ‘growing up’ or ‘a phase.’ What the hell makes my
problems any less valid than they would be if I were in my thirties? What makes
my feelings any less important or real? I just wanted you to take me seriously,
that’s all. I didn’t want to cause trouble and it was probably more childish of
me to do th-"
Levi interrupts again, this time with a hand over Eren’s mouth. All the brat
ever does is talk, even after just waking up. Ridiculous, it’s too early for
this shit. “That’s what people do. They nitpick and find reasons to bitch.
Everything you do and experience is important and genuine, Eren. You’re still
young, yes, and there will always be certain circumstances that relate solely
to growing up, but it’s wrong to assume that everything is directly related to
your youth.” He sighs and looks him square in the eyes. “I made my own choice,
I’m with you of my own accord. I could count the amount of fucks I give about
what people think on less than one hand. We’ll be careful, I’ll make sure of
that.” He moves his hand to cup Eren’s cheek gently and his voice lowers, “If
you’re expecting anything about this to be easy, you’re wrong. Three years
isn’t a particularly short stretch of time. Back out now if it’s going to be
too much, because I have no desire to waste my time with someone that isn’t
committed to making this work.”
Eren rolls to face Levi and buries his head in his chest, then lets out a
slightly cathartic sigh. He knows. Every fiber of his being knows and it hurts
so much. Hearing Levi’s heartbeat underneath his ear serves to marginally
justify it, but that doesn’t erase the knowledge that he isn’t sure that he’ll
be able to do this. He wants to, he wants to more than anything and if it were
anyone but Levi, he’d do it without a second thought. But this isn’t just about
him, it’s about them. It’s about Levi just as much as it’s about Eren, and Levi
holds an importance to him that is otherwise unparalleled. It’s troubling that
he doesn’t know what to do, but… he finds himself thinking about what Levi had
said.
It’s damn near impossible to see into the future or predict every consequence
that your choices may have, so you just have to trust that you won’t regret
them in the long run.
It’s a shot in the dark, really.
"I’m not going to back out. I’ll be around until the end."
I don’t regret giving you my suit, buying you lunch, giving you my number,
buying you dinner, taking you places, or making you mine. I regret nothing.
Doesn’t that tell you something?
Yes, yes it does.
End Notes
     http://www.pisceandelusions.org/mymedia/gallerycontent/photography/
     cities/harrisburg_pa/hanging_around_city_island_mb_small.jpg if that
     helps anything <3 for the city scene.
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