
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2045136.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Major_Character
      Death
  Category:
      F/M, F/F
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Mituna_Captor/Latula_Pyrope, Mitula, Latula_Pyrope/Kankri_Vantas, Latula
      pyrope/_Karkat_vantas, Doc_scratch/Latula_pyrope_(non_consensual)
  Character:
      Mituna_Captor, Latula_Pyrope, Kankri_Vantas, Karkat_Vantas, Sollux
      Captor, Terezi_Pyrope, Doc_Scratch, The_Dolorosa
  Additional Tags:
      Angst, Torture, Mental_Health_Issues, 1800's_mental_insane_asylum,
      Alternate_Universe_-_Mental_Institution, extreme_torture, Gore, Nudity,
      electro_shock_therapy, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Hurt/Comfort, Running_Away
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-07-30 Updated: 2015-03-11 Chapters: 3/48 Words: 4162
****** Admitted ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     "Your head is let go and it drops, the hair torn out of it's usual
     braided bun in frays and loose ends. Scratch kneels in front of you,
     and you glare from your hanging head. The arm still bleeds beside
     you.
     “Latula,”He starts, as usual. You've been informed that's a
     manipulation tactic. Always saying your name before a sentence, when
     he wants you to tell him something.”How do you feel?”
     “Dizzy,”You cough out, a moan of pain working it's way out of your
     voicebox and through your esophagus at the same time. “Like I want to
     die again.”He stands up at that, and shit, you've said the wrong
     thing. He's going to do something worse to you now. You start to
     shake your head, at first only lightly, then more violently as you
     see him walk over to his tray of instruments. You scream for Terezi,
     hoping that somehow, 12 miles away, she will hear you and come
     rushing to your side, as she always has.
     You don't remember much after that, mostly because you don't want
     to."
Notes
     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
     List_of_methods_of_torture#Psychological_torture_methods
***** Abacination *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm looking for a beta for this story. Someone who knows a lot about
     the mental institutions of the late 1800's, ships Mitula, and would
     like to offer ideas to help further the story plotline. Preferably
     someone who has a skype, and someone's who first language is english.
     (mine isn't.)
     Oh, and if you have suggestions for the story, they're always
     welcome.
     Note to self for later chapters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
     List_of_methods_of_torture#Psychological_torture_methods
Women were often deemed crazy if they so much as thought, let alone attempted
suicide. Suddenly, when you thought the people the people who cared about you
leave (except for your little sister, who verbally fought your father and told
him what they would do to you,) and throw you without a second glance at the
hospital, pretty much all hope deserts you. When you've heard the stories about
those places, you wonder if you'll ever get out again, (alive.)
The rules were simple. Miss Rosa (the group counselor) told you not to ever:
   1. Leave your room unless told that you may leave.
   2. Don't hide pills under the mattress. They already know that some children
      do that.
   3. Dont get into fights with the other adolescents.
   4. Also, Never, ever, EVER try to escape.
   5. Tell the doctor what you really feel. (Even if he might try to bleed
      you.)
Dont do this, don't try that. It was always one thing the women couldn't do,
but the men that were there could? It made her angry to even think about it.
===============================================================================
 
The day your Fiance Kankri threw you (as well as your father had,) into the
hospital, you thought that he still loved you, just as he had told you multiple
times before. He said he would be back. Weeks later, you found out from Terezi,
in a hesitant, small voice. You had hardly heard her use that voice, because
she was usually loud, and only when she was trying to make things easier on you
or another person. She told you he was with someone else, happily engaged. You
wanted that. You were supposed to have that. You didn't eat or sleep later that
night. How could you?

Of course, when you were admitted, you were told you were a manic depressed
teenager. Now, the list can be counted on both of your hands with false
accusations you know are not true. Depression, lesbian, bi-polar. Resilient and
stubborn, Manic behavior. The list rolls on, even when you had done things
(like kissed a boy to prove that you are, in fact, not a lesbian.) to prove you
are anything but.
You kept count of all the days that had gone by. You used a rock, one small
enough that you found in the courtyard. No one noticed it when you hid it in
the corset. It acted as chalk, as you scraped it's rough edges against the
concrete walls of the cold hospital. Thirty-one days while you were there, and
your first roommate arrived. Karkat, his name was. (They didn't have enough
room, so usually they often paired females with males in the wards. It was
odd.)
You cared a lot about him in those short days he was there. You talked
constantly about your lives, about anything and everything with him. He talked
about his father, how he was a preacher. He often defended the poor and
helpless, how they were “Opressed by the queen.”
You even kissed him. His lips were soft, and his hands were, too, although it
wasn't your first time touching them. Your heart fluttered like a fairy's wing,
and you felt like you couldn't breathe. You requested to push your bed closer
to his (although you only said to push the bed closer to the wall,) and you
would spend nights until the sun rose talking with him. He was nice, and he
understood you. Sadly, that was short lived. You don't know what happened.
Perhaps Scratch came to take him, but next thing you know like a snap in the
fabric of time, he was taken away from your clutches of warm embraces and
tender hugs, kisses and whispered promises. You had trouble stomaching any
food, and had trouble sleeping. Often nightmares overcome your dreams, plagued
with horror terrors and cruel things. Unlike before (with Karkat,) you woke up
alone, shivering. Unlike before, You ate alone, crying. The things you saw in
the night terrors woke you up often, dreams of how Karkat could have left you.
He would have been hung. He could have been bled to death. He could have
jumped. He could have cut himself to death. What they would have done to him,
you can't understand anymore. You could have sworn a week ago you saw him on a
gurney, pale an unconscious. You shut out everyone from talking to you, only
wishing that death would come sooner, rather than later.
Today was the 70th day, according to your makeshift calender. As customary, the
women were to come outside of their rooms to have their hair in a bun or
something, just as long as it wasn't down. (as was customary for a woman of
your age. You had pierced ears as well, justifying that you were all-the-more
ready to be handed off and married. You shivered at the thought. Your
father..thinking back, was more than willing to hand you off. Especially to
Kankri, that bastard.
The white scratchy clothing they usually gave the patients was especially
uncomfortable today, considering how you slept. (which was none at all.) Even
though you were used to it, it might have been the fact that they haven't
“washed you” in about a week. They had odd cleaning schedules for the patients,
which ought to be more consistent, in your opinion. It was silly. Back home,
you'd be washed by the servants- Aradia and Sollux- at least every other day,
if not every day. They were nice, and Sollux only washed your hair while Aradia
helped you wash your body, back, and any other area that was harder for you to
get. Aradia and Sollux were with your family since before you were born.
Thinking on it, you wonder how Terezi is, dealing with all of this attention. .
.She was never one to be the center of everything.
As you stare at the wall in your look-alike cell-room, reminiscing on the
forgotten past, your door clangs open, and in walk two men followed by Doctor
Scratch. No one knows why he is called that. Everyone thinks it's strange, and
no one likes him, so everyone makes fun of it. You've heard all of the things
he does, especially when he comes in with two men. Everyone knows what that
means. You immediately stand up, shaking your head. The men come towards you,
and you corner yourself on the opposite wall to Doctor Scratch. H He chides at
you, shaking his round, oblique white face. That ominous, stupid, smug face.
The two men grab you by the arm and forcibly pull you towards him. You bite at
the one mans hands- whom you note that his name is Leer. He's big and strong,
obviously, with black hair and giant muscles. You've never seen a man with such
muscles. . . The other on the opposite -Equius, one of your aquantinces,- isn't
as big. They look a lot alike.
Oblivious to how strong they are, you thrash anyway. You don't want to go
“upstairs.” Doc scratch looks at you like an object, a feeling that you hate.
Kankri never looked at you that way. You guess he was just good at acting.
“Latula,” He begins, turning around sharply, motioning for the men to follow
with you suit. “We need to do some things upstairs.”There's that word you
hate.”It would be in your best interest for you to not fight it.”
===============================================================================
 
All you can remember of the upstairs is how badly you wanted to get free and
forget.It's the first time he's touched you, and you hate the feeling. After
talking with other females in the ward, you've dicovered this has happened to
them as well. But when he starts slicing at your arm to get you to bleed into
the drip , you scream. You scream for Terezi and Karkat, wailing their names in
anguish. Feeling dizzy, your head lulls, but is pulled up sharply by Equius.
You vaguely recall that he looks a bit..distraught and sorrowful, maybe a
little remorse was shown, as well. You stare at the slash in your arm with a
dulled face, choosing to nullify the pain and stare. Maybe if you stare the
pain will leave your arm.
Doc Scratch pulls the tube from your arm and you scream again. (you swear that
this man has no sense of remorse. He continues hurting even after the pain.) a
sharp, shrill noise in the top floor rings throughout the large, spacious room.
You realize it's the dumbells, or the other machines, and you idly wonder, that
maybe, they've soundproofed it- but that's ridiculous. This isn't a very
wealthy hospital. Why would it be soundproofed? You shake your head in a
desperate measure to get free from equius, but from his eyes you just look like
a drunken old maid.
Your head is let go and it drops, the hair torn out of it's usual braided bun
in frays and loose ends. Scratch kneels in front of you, and you glare from
your hanging head. The arm still bleeds beside you.
“Latula,”He starts, as usual. You've been informed that's a manipulation
tactic. Always saying your name before a sentence, when he wants you to tell
him something.”How do you feel?”
“Dizzy,”You cough out, a moan of pain working it's way out of your voicebox and
through your esophagus at the same time. “Like I want to die again.”He stands
up at that, and shit, you've said the wrong thing. You can't see his face, but
Equius stiffens, and he knows that he's going to do something worse to you now.
You start to shake your head, at first only lightly, then more violently as you
see him walk over to his tray of instruments. You scream for Terezi, hoping
somehow, 12 miles away she will hear you and come rushing to your side as she
always has.
You don't remember much after that, mostly because you don't want to.
You won't.
===============================================================================
 
For a few moments, you forget you were at Oak fur Mental. You felt as if though
you were waking up as usual, with Aradia coming to greet you at exactly 8 am.
She would serve you breakfast, and Sollux would come in and help pick your
clothing. (you had a soft spot for Aradia, and they always figured that you
would be more likely to snap at Sollux than Aradia in the morning.)

As soon as you open your eyes, the incandescent glow of the light filtering
from the broken, stained glass window immediately hits your pale, sunken face,
and you shut your eyes again, you roll over, groan, more to yourself than
anything.
On your wall, it marks 76 days. You're begining to lose hope that someone will
come, cure your loneliness and depression, and that would be the end-all, be-
all.
77 and you go back upstairs. This time you're asked questions.
78 and they decide you're a lesbian.
79 and they decide you're bipolar.
80 and you hit Scratch, earning time in isolation. (but keeping to your overall
room. They don't feed you for three days.The holy trinity, you bitterly bark
back a laugh. Religion isn't helping me now.No one is.)
81 and they bleed you. Again. This time, you remember what they do in the
upstairs room. You wish you didn't remember.
They start out with forcing pills down your throat, and then screaming at you.
The words are file, repugnant, and stale in your ear-drums. By now, you've bene
used to the screaming- You've have so many people scream and yell at you, it's
amazing you're still able to laugh at some jokes that Equius makes.
They clean you up, which makes you feel somewhat more comfortable. The cold
water on your dirty, oily skin is comforting to you, and Equius only responds
with, “We're cleaning you for a reason.” You still feel comfortable, even after
that forboding response. You shrug it off easily.
The sea-sponges are coated with something strangely akin to a gel-like
substance. You wonder why, but after the screaming, you don't care. (you
should.) After that, there are electrodes placed on each of your temples, both
left and right. There's one over your heart that you note idly. You're strapped
into a strange chair, both cuffed with wires at your wrists, and at your feet.
They're cuffed tightly and unpleasantly. You're confused, wondering why, after
they'd given you a sponge bath. By then you don't realize Scratch fiddling with
a machine with a bunch of knobs and colors all over it. When you actually do
realize, you've become numb with the pain of electrocution. The shocks rip
through you at what feels like the speed of light. Your fingertips begin to
buzz with a white-noise-like feeling, and your head rings with uncertainty and
a throbbing ache. You can't see, so you suppose that's good. But you can hear.
You can hear everything, and now it seems more clear than before the
electrocution started.
The slow, hard whir of the hand-drill makes your heart pound and your head
spin. The other two shove pills down your throat before he starts lifting your
hair, whispering softly, encouraging you to relax and this was only going to
hurt /a lot./ Oh, how he was right. He had never been more right since the day
you got there. The excrutiating laceration jostled through the bone of your
body, threatening to slow what time even was further than it had. Your vision
blurrs and burns black. You don't wake up for a while after that, and when you
do, you've been abacinated. You can't see anything. The gentle howl outside
lulls your pain, if only for a little while. The tree branches crunch and brush
against eachother,the bark creating a gentle scraping sound as the leaves
rustle endlessly. It was peace for a while, and then it was hell.
They unstrapped you, and you thought you were done. Oh, no. They undressed you
completely, abashed and alone and cold before them. You felt violated and used.
How could a father and a lover subject someone they care so much to this? He
was disgusting. A man who felt he had so much power that he could use you as a
toy. It's times like these where you kind of forget he's a monster- he touches
you gently along your sides, the white, bony structure of his knuckles
triturating against the bare flesh, the bones of your hips, and your ribcage.
His face is soft, but It has a certain look to it that makes you shiver in a
horrid sheen of sweat and disgust. He's only looking at you like an object, as
a toy. You are nothing more than a female- an object, to be used. He leans in
and you grimace, but all he does is kiss your neck the same he did the first
time. By tilting your face away, he grins and only grabs your cheeks with his
forefinger and thumb, pushing the cheeks together closer so he can get a better
look at you.He pushes himself onto you and starts kissing you all over. It
makes you want to throwup bile and disgusting chunks of the poison they call
food here. He continues to touch you for hours before he finally lets you to
yourself, dressing yourself. You contemplate jumping out the window, that
maybe, the only salvation was to fly.
82.You learn of your new roommate, Mituna. Equius tells you all about him, and
he isn't of the same economical status as you, which solicited a curious look
from you. You've never actually been in close contact with someone in a lower
stature, and it makes you wonder how he'll act. You hope he's nice, at least.
Some people used to act all mean towards you just because of the way you
looked- but when you returned the favor and gave them something to help them
like a schilling of gold or a pretty decent meal, they suddenly became your
best friend. It was a bit petty, but if it helped people restore their faith. .
. You might as well. His name is pretty, and it reminds you of fish. Equius
informs you that he indeed does not like fish, or tuna, for that exact reason.


 
***** Beating *****
Chapter Summary
     "Everyone would say you two were truly a match- for one one of you
     was with the other, everyone said the both of you could light up a
     room far brighter than any candle, or lantern. his smile would make
     your heart flutter like the wings of a monarch, light and feathery
     and soft. His hearty laugh made your stomach churn and do backflips
     and pirouettes around. His rare kiss made you forget where you were
     or what was happening.
     "He made you happy."
Chapter Notes
     I'm still looking for a beta if anyone wants to offer. Most of my
     friends become a little uneasy at the thought of torture or the likes
     so i'm still a bit awkward about asking on fb.
     "heeey, anyone like reading and proofing and helping with torture?"
     no. just... no.
He keeps you locked up in that solitary room, Scratch and his assistants who
you've now grown to despise, and beats you until you have bruises and sprains,
a broken nose that is definitely not going to set right, and a heart of hatred
for men alike. All men are like this to you, and always have been. Even though
it's hard for you to think, with pain always clouding your forethoughts, you're
pretty certain that downstairs people are beginning to wonder where you
are. You're beginning to wonder where you are, too.
When Scratch is finished beating you for the hour, he leaves you tied up
against the chair you've drank and slept in for weeks now. Equius informs you
that it has indeed been about a week and a half, and that as usual you're over-
dramatizing about again. The thought infuriates you, especially the fact that
he's saying that you are the one who is being overdramatic? The thought would
have made you laugh, but with the emotions beat out of you, it's currently not
at the top of your list to laugh. Nothing really is. You just focus on getting
through the torture and beatings, rape and abuse that you've dealt with for
days. Sometimes, he'll leave you alone for hours on end. That's when you really
have any sort of solitude- any form of peace. You try getting up sometimes from
the chair, trying to move it, or at least you did int he beginning. You found
out that it was bolted to the floor. There goes any ideas of escaping this
hell, you think bitterly. 
When he comes back, you wonder idly and sickly if something is wrong, because
instead of going straight for you, he goes straight for the Zahaks, and talks
briefly with them. You prepare for the worst, but nothing comes, and you almost
cry out of relief, because maybe, just maybe he is letting you go. He does! He
unties the leather cuffs that were strapped to your now raw, red, and swollen
joints at your ankles and wrists, and you only look up with a confused, empty
face. You don't get up, you don't move. You just stare, until he clears his
throat and looks away, turning around. 
"We've had enough session time for the month," Scratch embarks, his white, old,
oblong face and wiry thin white hairs, and perfectly white suit faces away from
you. You lull your head to the side, eyes lidded and mouth open from thirst.
"I'm sending you back to the ward. Hopefully this was enough to teach you a
lesson about being. . . So disgusting about your mis-attraction towards women."
The voice is disgusted and uncharacteristically quiet, it would concern you,
but you're so hazed over right now that it makes you dizzy. You vaguely
remember Equius and Leer carrying you back to your room instead of on a
stretcher or in a wheelchair, like the usual. You don't remember ever falling
asleep.
===============================================================================
A giggle erupts from your mouth as you look onward through the orchard that
Kankri's family owns. It was absolutely beautiful this time of year, and Kankri
wanted to go out and walk with you. Agreeing as usual, you follow along, arms
linked and smiling blissfully at each other. Everyone would say you two were
truly a match- for one one of you was with the other, everyone said the both of
you could light up a room far brighter than any candle, or lantern. his smile
would make your heart flutter like the wings of a monarch, light and feathery
and soft. His hearty laugh made your stomach churn and do backflips and
pirouettes around. His rare kiss made you forget where you were or what was
happening.
He made you happy.
He twists his arm out of the crook of yours and wraps it around your waist,
pulling you and all of your high-end classy dress into his side, as he grips
your other hand with his in between the both of you. He looks at you with such
love and admiration it makes your heart stop all of a sudden. But only the
dream stops. Whatever he said dissipates into darkness and fire, and the world
has turned darker than you've ever seen, even at night. His face contorts into
that of anger and vexation and you feel your gut twist unpleasantly about your
innards. The feeling in your stomach is sickening, a feeling that makes you
want to throw up. your clothes suddenly become less poofy and they become
white, where they were a vibrant blue an red just a moment ago. Kankri is
dressed in all black, his white gloves still on, as usual. He never seems to
take them off, and it worries you. You would never say, but it worries you. But
now he takes them off, and you see who he actually is for once. He's evil and
tormented, and saying that he's doing this for the good of everyone. You don't
know what's happening, so you begin running. Men chase after you with ropes,
and they're all dressed in white. The dress you're in, all white lace of it is
too long, and you trip briefly, giving enough time for the grizzly men to catch
up with you. 
Your father is with Kankri, on-looking the men tie your hands as you thrash.
You call out to him, to get his attention, but he only glances, and you
recognize the look on his face. It's one you know too well when Terezi takes
something from your room ans she wont tell you, but you already know. I t's
guilt.
They have you on your knees, and you bite the mans hand hard enough to make it
bleed. He pulls his hand back, causing you to rip his flesh. He should have
known better than that. All animals should.
"Witch!" They scream. All sorts of  confusing thoughts go through your head as
you're dragged back to the carriage that has been waiting for you ever since
you got outside. It's the carriage to your hell and your end. Calling out for
your father once again as you're dragged into the carraige and pushed down, he
ignores you with his head hung and Kankri looking triumphant. Your heart
shatters, and you no longer light up the room as bright as before. How can you
make something shine once it's been shattered? There will still be shadows, and
there will still be stains. The scorches will still be there on the glass as
the fire burns, and will continue to be there the next day. You were new, but
now, all you are is used. All you are is a tool.
You wake up just in time, with a shocking start to your system as a quiet knock
on the wall above your head sounds. Rosa is there above you, with a worried and
careful expression. She has a food tray behind her, and already you've noticed
that you've been patched up with bandages and medicines. She sits down on your
bed and pets your hair, but you don't cry. You never cry anymore. all of your
tears have dried and shriveled and can't come back with how emotionally raw
you've made yourself. But now you're calloused, and worn, and you know that
crying is weakness. Emotions. . . are weakness.
She leaves the food tray with you,but you're too weak to eat- you can barely
lift your arms with all the muscle activity that he wore out. The elctro-shock
therapy made your muscles limp and unresponsive, but you can at least move your
fingers, so you assume that's good. You lay there, staring at the caulked
ceiling for a little while longer- hanging onto the fleeting feeling in your
mind of consciousness. You've been slipping in and out, and you think nothing
of it. You can't think at all. Dreams are all that protect you at the moment. 
 
 
***** Authors note *****
I'm going to be re-writing the entire fanfiction, so if anyone would like to
pitch any ideas that they have for me, i'd be open to have them! Second off, i
am focusing more on my studies than anything but I will still be working on
this! Third, I would like to have an artist draw snippets from the chapters I
create. It isn't a must right now, considering i'm just re-writing it right
now. If you'd like to check out my deviantart or tumblr in the meantime, my DA
is Lottedraven and my Tumblr is christofercringlemisha.tumblr.com See you all
when I re-upload "Admitted!"
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
