****** Sick Day by Autograph Shirley ******
===============================================================================

Sick Day


I had laid around lazily all morning. It was a beautiful day outside so I
called in sick to work and took the day off. So far all I had done was check e-
mails(thanks for all the nice mails, I'm trying my hardest to respond to all of
you!) and watch some TV.

My belly was bulging from my big breakfast as I laid on the couch. I had two
bowls of oat bran, bacon, eggs, and three cups of coffee! I finally got my ass
off the couch and headed to the back yard to work on my garden.

As I crouched there snipping away at my flowers I felt my intestines start to
work. I let loose with a few fabulous warm stinky morning poots and I could
feel the crap not far behind. Since it was such a gorgeous day outside I
decided to do my business out here in the flower bed rather than make the jaunt
back into the house to the toilet. Besides my shit would make a dandy
fertilizer!

Gnani, my dog was frolicking around the yard playing with a chew toy. I pulled
my bathrobe over my legs and settled down as I watched him. A few tiny little
poops sprang out of my crap hole and made a cute little thud onto the dirt. My
sphincter began contracting and a long skinny poop started oozing its way out.
It hit the dirt and coiled as it dropped from my sweet asshole. The stench was
kind of earthy. I suppose that was from the oat bran.

Soon after, another soft skinny poop worked its way into the world. It coiled
on top of the last dump and broke off softly. I pushed with all my might to see
if any more was inside but all that came out was a squeaky fart. I stood up and
eyed my display. The sun shone on my glistening glory catching all the cute
little chunks of food reflected in the light. My work in the garden was done.

Later that afternoon I headed to the store. I still hadn't wiped my butt from
this mornings garden play time so the smell of crusty old shit hung all around
me. Tonight was salsa night! I picked out all the veggies I needed to make
salsa, grabbed a bag of chips, and went to the checkout line. While in line I
got some pretty strange looks for the stench rising from underneath my skirt.
They were just jealous!

When I got home I made the salsa and looked up some scat pictures on the net. I
must admit, I'm a little addicted to those pics! My favorite are the solo pics
thou. There is nothing sexier than someone playing with their own sweet filth
alone. After looking up pics I went and got the salsa. Gnani and I sat on the
back porch and ate it all! Almost instantly after I had finished the gas came.
Huge explosions of stinky ass wind came from me! I loved it! Gnani on the other
hand didn't. My farts must be awful to him because when he hears them start he
usually goes and hides. Oh well, more for me!

I went inside and drew a bath. My bowels were rumbling but I just ignored it. I
slipped into the tub and relaxed. Bubbles erupted on top of the water from
under my ass. I had so much gas it was like a jacuzzi! Then an unexpected event
happened.

As I was forcing my underwater farts out I felt a soft warm sensation come
along with them. I had shit in the tub! All of a sudden, like a submarine, my
hefty shit surfaced. It bobbed up and down in the water in front of me. I
settled deep in the water and watched in wonder. I moved the water back and
forth and watched my amazing shit try to stay afloat. I was like a kid playing
with boats in the tub!

"Bring it on you mother fucker!" I yelled at my floating poop as I sent waves
of water at it. This shit was good! I sent tidal waves at it and it still
stayed on top. Sure from time to time it would dunk in the water and look like
it was drowning but after a few seconds it was back on top! I played battleship
with my own filth for quite a while before I got bored. Then I leaned over and
flipped the toilet lid and threw Mr. Unsinkable in.

With a flush I sent it on its way. I won! After taking a real shower I went
back to the couch and watched TV. About the only scat you get on TV is on
nature shows so I flipped to one. It's not a sexy ass squatting over my face
shooting out runny poop, but it was scat. I watched the show with great
interest. I never knew Rhinos could shit so much! It was amazing! It was
getting late so I turned off the TV and headed for bed. My sick day was great!
Two loads of poop and more farts than I could count! My vacation time is coming
up and I'm going to my friend Steve's farm for a week. I can't wait to help out
with the animals and see them shit fantastic loads. Maybe I should make my own
nature show!

This story is part of White_Shadow's_Nasty_Stories.
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