Back to Chapter 02
Chapter 3 - Mike's
evening
Mike changed into one of his political t-shirts and left the Parking
Enforcement office. He walked to the political science building,
enjoying a cool October breeze that carried a hint of the nearby Pacific
Ocean.
His mind wandered to Chicago, where he had been studying the year
before. I guess that�s one thing Davenport has over Chicago, he thought
to himself: it�s still nice here and it�s already getting cold there.
He remained in a moderately upbeat mood until he ran across a sight that
was totally offensive to his eyes: a huge fast-food sign that featured a
cartoon face of a clown stuffing a whole hamburger into his mouth.
Accompanying the picture was the slogan:
Mega-Burgers � the biggest.
Feed your face with the very best rainforest beef!
The sign topped the new Mega-Burger franchise that had just opened on
campus. Mike�s political group had fought and protested to keep
Mega-Burger from defiling the Davenport campus with their presence, but
to no avail. Mega-Town Associates, the holding company that owned
Mega-Burger, had bribed the Board of Trustees, no doubt. Most of the
students clearly had not wanted Mega-Burger on the grounds of the
university, but like it or not, here they were.
Mega-Burgers � the biggest. The biggest�yes, everything in the US has to
be the biggest�big, cheap, and fast. What a disgusting country we�ve
turned into. That clown says it all�big, cheap, fast�and if it�s not
sustainable, so much the better. To hell with resources. To hell with
the rainforest. To hell with the planet. If disgusting clowns can stuff
their faces on signs, isn�t that what the free market is all about? Why
have unspoiled resources when we can have that hideous clown stuffing
his face? That�s freedom, after-all. Freedom. Yes�yes�the land of the
free, with an ugly clown to represent it.
Mike�s bitterness against corporate America matched that of Ruthie
against religion. He had a particular grudge against Mega-Town
Associates. His father used to own a Santa Cruz drug store that had been
in the family for three generations and Mike had expected to inherit the
business and run it just like his father and grandfather ran it. In high
school he took as many science classes as he could to prepare himself to
get a pharmacy degree. His ambitions were modest; all he wanted to do
was continue with his father�s path in life and serve the community.
Mega-Town Associates killed that dream the year that he was a junior in
high school.
Sinclair Pharmacy was doing fine right up to the moment that Mega-Town
Associates muscled their way into the family�s neighborhood. The company
built a Mega-Mart that within a year put all the local stores out of
business. Once the Mega-Mart had accomplished its task and ruined the
neighborhood, the company abruptly closed it and opened a more centrally
located store in Watsonville. As was true for so many other
neighborhoods, the sole purpose of opening the Mega-Mart in Mike�s
neighborhood was to eliminate competition. The company never had any
intention of staying there permanently.
Mr. Sinclair spent Mike�s senior year in high school looking for work.
At first he expected to simply get a job as a pharmacist in a
supermarket or a chain pharmacy, but after six months of desperate
searching had come up with nothing. He couldn�t understand why, with a
degree and 25 years of experience there was never a hint of a job offer.
Finally, the hiring manager of one of the chain pharmacies took a few
minutes to explain his dilemma:
�Right now, I�m going to put aside the hiring manager crap and tell you
something off-the-record, man-to-man. You�re qualified, alright. Too
qualified, and since we�re being honest, too old. If we hired you we�d
have to pay you too much, and besides, you�d be a liability to our
insurer. So, no, we�re not interested in you, neither is anyone else.
The bottom-line is we don�t hire over-qualified people.�
The hiring manager handed back Mr. Sinclair�s papers and continued:
�Sorry about your situation, but you�ve got to realize your life as a
pharmacist is over. No one wants you. Just telling you like it is. So
you�d better start thinking about �plan-B� and save yourself some
frustration.�
The hiring manager did Mr. Sinclair a huge favor with his candor. He had
seen plenty of people like the applicant; hard-working over-qualified
relics of the past that never again would have decent jobs. It was a
hard lesson for Mr. Sinclair, learning that his knowledge and experience
were useless and his middle-class life was over.
----------
A year after Sinclair Pharmacy closed Mike�s father finally managed to
get a job as the assistant manager of a Fast-Mart, working under a
Pakistani immigrant who was half his age. Now the family was horribly
indebted because of that year of unemployment and also because Mr.
Sinclair had taken a second mortgage on the house so that Mike and his
older sister could finish college. Over the summer Mike�s father openly
explained:
�I don�t want either of you to borrow a cent. Not one cent. If you need
something, ask me and I�ll get it for you. When both of you get your
degrees, I�m going to give you the chance to take whatever you want out
of the house. Then I�m gonna declare bankruptcy. Lose everything, but it
won�t matter because you two will be done with college with no debt. I�m
the one who�s gonna have to liquidate. I don�t have any choice. With my
salary we�re gonna lose the house anyway, but I�m gonna get you two
through college before it happens. That�s my end of the deal. Your end
of the deal is when your mom and me lose the house, you take care of us.
I wish I could give you something more, but I can�t. Mega-Mart put us
under.�
The financial death watch of Mike�s parents continued. They were slowly
declining and their debts were mounting. Since he knew that he was going
to lose everything anyway, Mr. Sinclair wanted to borrow as much money
as possible before his house went into foreclosure. The American dream
was dead for him, and the only thing he could do was try to get revenge
against the system by making sure his house was worth far less than what
he owed on paper, to make the lenders lose as much money on him as
possible.
----------
Mike had a class that started at 6:00. The schedule was very fortunate
for him, because it allowed him to work an uninterrupted shift with the
Parking Department and still take a full load of classes.
The class was a large introductory course given in a lecture hall that
held 200 students. At the door, he met up with a couple of classmates
and the group found some seats together. Unlike Ruthie, Mike did have a
few friends on campus. For the most part they were people like himself
that he had met in the course of his political activities.
Had Mike been honest with himself, �friends� probably was not the best
way to describe the people with whom he hung out. More accurately they
could be described as friendly acquaintances. Mike and the people with
whom he associated were drawn together because of circumstances and
common interests, not out of any deep emotional commitment. The
relationships were the sort that co-workers had, the sort that would end
the moment someone in the group moved on with his or her life.
Still, Mike was much luckier than Ruthie. He did not have to face the
humiliation of eating by himself in the cafeteria or sitting alone in
class. He did have some activities in which he could participate and a
group to which he could claim membership. If he wanted to see a movie or
get some pizza for example, chances were that he could get someone to go
with him.
Because the class was given in a large lecture hall, there was very
little participation from students. Probably just as well, thought Mike
to himself. Maybe Ruthie�s right. Maybe I really do need to tone it
down. Maybe�people just aren�t that interested in anything I have to
say. With that self-doubt filled his mind.
----------
An hour later Mike and his two classmates had left the political science
building and were on their way to a meeting of the Danubian Solidarity
Committee, which was a protest movement directed against the Sinclairs�
nemesis Mega-Town Associates.
Back in April the obscure little country of Danubia made international
headlines by thwarting an armed attempt by Mega-Town to take over its
government. The Danubians completely defeated Mega-Town mercenaries and
captured the majority of the people participating in the coup. The
Danubian debacle was the biggest set-back that Mega-Town had ever
suffered, and it only got worse for the company when the leaders of the
coup were put on trial the following month. A torrent of negative
publicity flooded the news as the Danubians released captured documents
and exposed in detail what Mega-Town had planned for their country once
it was taken over.
What happened during the sentencing of the coup plotters was yet another
humiliation for the Mega-Town. The coup plotters, instead of being
executed, were sentenced to a uniquely Danubian punishment called �life
without honor�. The convicts were stripped, collared, and officially
converted into property. Each convict was �presented� to a breed sow.
The sows were given Danubian citizenship so they could be the formal
custodians of the criminals assigned to serve them. Each convicted coup
plotter would have to spend the rest of his life catering to the needs
of a pig, to include washing and sleeping with the animal. It was a
sentence to a lifetime of insult and degradation. In the country�s
culture it was infinitely better to be executed than to serve �life
without honor�.
When the trial ended and the sentences were passed, the local spectators
chanted in Danubian:
�The Pig is your Mistress! Serve her well! � The Pig is your Mistress!
Serve her well!�
That single phrase changed the tone of the global protest movement
against Mega-Town Associates, because it provided a recognizable slogan
for anyone who hated the company. Across the US activists started
wearing t-shirts with �The Pig is your Mistress! Serve her well!� and
the slogan was common on bumper stickers and protest signs.
Mike owned several t-shirts with the slogan. Wearing them gave him some
confidence that he had been lacking for a very long time. The slogan was
his proof that Mega-Town was not invincible, that already they had
suffered a major defeat.
----------
The meeting lasted past 9:00. Mike had entered in a good mood, but as
one hour dragged into two and the conversation meandered around
meaningless arguments, his confidence faded and he began to wonder to
himself:
�How much good are we doing? Here we are, claiming to support Danubia�s
fight against MTA, but really, what does it have to do with us? The only
reason we�re even calling ourselves the Danubian Solidarity Committee is
because it was the Danubians that did what we couldn�t. So we fantasize
and live vicariously through what they did. And we all sit around
talking useless bullshit, and we can�t so much as keep that fucking
clown restaurant off our campus.�
Suddenly he excused himself from the meeting and went outside.
The clown on the sign, with his moronic yet evil eyes and his mouth full
of �the very best rainforest beef�, stared at Mike as he exited the
Student Center. For a second that image seemed to come alive �the
hideous apparition that would consume and consume until nothing was left
of the earth. Mike jumped back, totally startled. When he looked again
the clown�s face was back to normal.
This is it�we, the humans, and the planet, are coming to the end. We
will consume and be consumed until nothing is left. Mega-Town will take
over everything, and they will destroy everything.
----------
Having given up on his political group for the night, Mike decided to
hit the library before he went back to his dorm room. A group of
sorority girls and pledges passed by, giving him about as much
recognition as they would give a light post. The sight of their bleached
hair and fake tits offended Mike every bit as much as the Mega Burger
sign. Stupid bitches�well, you�re all gonna get some nice parking
tickets tomorrow. Mike totally hated sororities and everything they
represented. His hatred was visceral: the very sight of sorority letters
stirred up fantasies of bombed sorority houses and burnt-out BMW�s. He
felt the same way about fraternities, but towards sororities he felt
particular bitterness. The reason was straightforward enough: his
ex-girlfriend had joined a sorority over the summer and now was a
full-blown member�actually an officer�in a Chicago chapter called the
Four-Betas. Lisa Campbell, a girl he had dated all through high
school�leaving him and joining a sorority�for someone like Mike that was
the ultimate insult. He thought he knew her, but obviously he didn�t.
Throughout his years in high school, Mike had dated Lisa; a girl who he
admired for being intelligent and strong-willed. They were classmates in
school and were inseparable. At the beginning she was not much to look
at, a tall gangly girl with bad acne. Later she developed into a
stunning beauty. She was shy at first, but she and Mike liked each
other. That commitment grew into intense love within a year. They were
with each other to the point they excluded everyone else. The couple
even had a nickname in school: the football crowd called them �the dork
twins�. They didn�t care. They ate together, studied together, took
classes together whenever it possible, and went out together. They hiked
and went to the beaches. Their favorite spot was a nude beach that was
almost within walking distance of Davenport. None of their classmates
went to that beach, but that was fine. They had their privacy and their
time with each other.
At age 16 Mike and Lisa started having sex at her house. It was the
first time for both of them. They already were skinny dipping in her
pool after school got out. They started seriously making out on a lawn
chair in her back yard and exploring each other�s bodies. Finally, on a
lovely sunny afternoon, they worked up the courage to �go all the way�.
She lay on her back on her lawn and he thrust into her. When they were
finished, she did a strange thing. Several times she dipped her finger
into the blood coming out of her vagina and drew stripes on Mike�s face.
�You�re my warrior, my love, and I�m yours. I will always be yours.�
She had given him the most precious thing she had, her virginity. That
afternoon Mike knew that he was blessed, to have someone as lovely and
as loving as Lisa for his partner. Yes, she would always be mine�
Well, that sure didn�t work out, did it?
----------
Lisa�s true personality did not show until they had graduated and went
to Chicago to take advantage of cheaper tuition. They had several
strange adventures during that fall semester, the weirdest of which was
being conned by their dorm�s Resident Advisor to participate in a 10-K
nude marathon. They spent most of a Saturday completely naked in front
of 50,000 spectators, not just during the run, but also before and
after. Mike was very happy to get dressed when the whole thing was over,
but the experience changed Lisa. She became an exhibitionist and her
behavior started being flamboyant and aggressive. She was increasingly
restless and bored with him as the semester wore on.
By December, Mike realized that his relationship with Lisa was in
serious trouble. He blamed the different environment in Chicago and
worried about the influence of their friends on her behavior, especially
the influence of their RA. The solution was very simple: he and Lisa
needed to return to California and forget about Chicago. Mike had a
friend working in the admissions department in the University of
California in Berkeley who walked him through what he needed to put on
his application to be accepted, and what the procedure was for
transferring the Chicago credits. Mike eagerly made the arrangements for
himself and filled out Lisa�s paperwork as well. All she had to do was
sign and they could forget about Chicago.
When they returned to Santa Cruz for Christmas vacation, there was a lot
of tension between the couple. They celebrated Christmas Eve with his
parents and the following day had Christmas dinner with her mother. Lisa
was very tensed up during the meal and barely spoke to him.
The next day Mike decided to tell his girlfriend about the arrangements
he had made with the admissions department in Berkeley. He told her that
he had re-applied to study in California and this time expected to get
in. In the meantime he would take community college classes in Santa
Cruz. He told Lisa to resubmit her application as well, that he had done
her the favor of filling it out and was sure it would be accepted. Lisa
responded:
�That�s real nice, except there�s one problem. I don�t want to go to
Berkeley. And I don�t want to sit on my ass taking community college
classes until next fall. Fuck that!�
�Well, I don�t want to go back to Chicago. I�ve told you that several
times, and it doesn�t seem you�re listening.�
�Who said anything about you going back to Chicago? I never said you
needed to go back there! You can do whatever you want, but don�t you go
making arrangements for my life behind my back! You can go to Berkeley,
or Santa Cruz, or wherever the fuck else you want to go, but I�m going
back to Chicago! Tell your friend in the admissions department to take
my application and stick it up his ass!�
��and so you don�t give a damn about our future? About me or anything I
want? You�re telling me that Chicago�s more important than I am?�
�That�s right, Mike. That�s exactly what I�m telling you. Chicago�s more
important to me than you are.�
Mike�s expression changed. He looked dazed, as if he had been hit over
the head with a rock. He didn�t know how to respond, because he had
not expected Lisa to be so blunt with him.
One of Mike�s good points was that he was never willing to do anything
that he thought would humiliate himself. He had backed himself into a
corner, leaving only two options. He could cave in, beg Lisa to forgive
him, and meekly return to Chicago, or get up and leave with the
understanding they were breaking up. Either way, as far as Lisa was
concerned the relationship had ended. Mike realized that as well, and
did the one thing he could to salvage what was left of his dignity.
Without saying another word he walked out, knowing that he was leaving
behind the girl he had dated for the past four years.
----------
�Chicago�s more important to me than you are.� Mike was floored when
Lisa said that to him, so much so that at the moment he couldn�t even
react. He stormed out of the room, making a show of anger, but in
reality he was devastated that she could have said such a thing to him.
At least he would not entertain any false hope that someday he could get
back together with her: he knew that she was gone from his life
permanently.
He drove out to the beach where he and Lisa had spent so much time when
they were in high school�.only six months before when their relationship
seemed like it would last forever. It was getting dark, which was good
for what he needed to do. He sat alone on the wet sand for a couple of
hours crying and mourning the loss of the one person who gave him
meaning in life. He had not cried for several years and he was
determined that no one would see his moment of weakness. He would
maintain his stoic fa�ade to the world, but at least he could be honest
with himself.
Chicago�s more important than I am�more important�
----------
With that, Mike gave up on his plans to study in Berkeley. He put in a
last-minute application to study in Davenport for the spring semester,
which to his surprise, was accepted. He got his job with the Parking
Department in February.
His initial reaction of shock and heartbreak eventually transformed
itself into anger and bitterness, not just against Lisa, but also
against the world into which she had immersed herself over the summer. A
mutual acquaintance from Chicago e-mailed him and mentioned that she had
successfully pledged the Four Beta Sorority. That news affected what he
did at his job, because he made it a point to target any car that
boasted the markings of a �Greek� for special attention from his
ticketing machine.
He needed someone�someone who was different from that stupid bitch Lisa.
However, his luck with other women since she left him had been
atrocious. He was far too serious for most young women to find
attractive. Ten months after the breakup, Mike Sinclair was alone and
his heart burned with resentment. He had to face the hard truth what he
was a loser with women and that Lisa Campbell was the only chance that
he ever would have for a relationship. Lisa was gone from his life and
there would be no other women for Mike Sinclair. No woman, no matter how
strange or how much of a loser she might be, was ever going to want to
touch him. Apparently that was a law of nature, something as unalterable
as gravity. Lisa Campbell was the exception�the one lucky shot he had at
finding a partner. That opportunity had come and gone. He had blown his
only chance.
As he dwelt on Lisa, the lines of an old Queensr�che song passed through
his thoughts:
I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
I'll just pretend she never was real
I don't believe in love
I need to forget her face, I see it still
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel
Queensr�che�Mike loved their music, even though their more famous songs
were at least 10 years old. He first heard of Queensr�che on a station
that featured �classic� Metal from the 1980�s and 1990�s. Perhaps it was
a trait of a loser to listen to music that was not in the least bit
current, but he didn�t care. The music of Queensr�che, which dwelt on
alienation, anger, and loneliness, seemed to be written directly for
Mike Sinclair.
----------
Mike tried to cheer up as he wandered through the basement of the
library, looking for a couple of extra books that would give him the 10
sources he needed as the minimum for a term paper. More BS, he thought
to himself�these stupid term papers. He knew how to play the game with
term papers, however. There wasn�t much to writing a term paper if one
knew how to do it. Normally he used two or three books to get his facts,
and then picked a few quotes out of the others. The extra two books
would only be needed be for quotes, but he did have to include them.
As he got ready to leave, Mike passed a table with an open backpack set
next to a pile of books. He recognized the backpack as the one belonging
to his classmate Ruthie Burns. Curiosity led him to examine the titles.
Much to his surprise, most of the books were in Spanish. There were two
groups of titles: books that appeared to be novels and books that were
literature reviews.
He dared not touch what was on the table; for fear that Ruthie would
catch him. However, just by looking at the covers he could tell that her
selection of books was not the sort of literature that a freshman would
be expected to read. This was very dense reading, and in Spanish, not
English. A worn syllabus laid among her notes answered his question: the
books were required reading for a third-year class with the Spanish
Department. That meant the Ruthie Burns, who was enrolled in her first
semester as a freshman, was taking at least one class at the junior
level. It also meant she was fluent in another language.
Mike walked past several shelves of books and saw his classmate thumbing
through a literature journal. She was engrossed in what she was doing
and didn�t notice him. He resisted the temptation to go back to her
table and look through her notebooks to find out more about her. Yes,
there was no question that girl was totally weird, but there also was no
question that she was intelligent. He found her fascinating.
----------
Mike returned to his dorm. When he opened the door to his room, the
sight and sounds that greeted him were the ones he expected. When he
entered he could hear explosions and the roars of electronic monsters.
His roommate Todd was sitting at the computer at his desk, playing an
online video game. With a quick single movement Todd put on a pair of
headphones and plugged them into the computer. He never took his eyes
off the screen or missed a beat in his online battle.
Mike briefly looked at what his roommate was doing. A monster�s head
came off and flew towards the viewer. There were a bunch of explosions
and then Todd�s character started bleeding. He reacted by quickly going
through a menu and found what he needed to restore his online self.
Within seconds he was back in the battle.
Todd would be at it all night, just as he was almost every night. Mike
had read an article about that game he was playing; that it was
extremely addictive for serious players because of a ranking system it
used. There was no question that Todd had a high rank in that game, but
what was he sacrificing to keep it? He had no social life, over the
semester his physical health had deteriorated, and undoubtedly his
grades were suffering because very rarely had Mike seen him studying.
For a few minutes Mike watched his roommate. He was an addict, no doubt
about it. His life was as lost as that of a chronic gambler. Not that
Mike cared that much about Todd�s well-being, because the two students
did not like each other, but he did shake his head at the loss of yet
another life to an activity that was a total waste of time.
Finally he went to the men�s room to get cleaned up. When he returned to
the room, he took off his towel and got in bed. He was too tired to put
anything on and had decided to sleep naked, but Todd was too engrossed
in his game to notice or care. Mike covered his eyes with a pillow to
block out the light from his roommate�s computer. He still could hear
the muffled sound effects of the online battle through the headphones.
The sound was very faint, but it was just enough to totally irritate
him.
Abruptly the battle sound stopped. Todd started swearing and desperately
tried to reconnect. He turned off his computer and rebooted, but to no
avail. The campus Internet must have gone down again. Poor Todd, he was
out of the fight and undoubtedly his ranking would suffer.
Mike smiled to himself in the darkness and fell asleep.
