The Quest for the
Holy Grail. . . Not

After my romp with King Edward, I pretty much relaxed for a while. Took a nice shower. Allowed an adoring fan to give me a massage. Slept for about 12 hours straight. Persuaded Louie to make me a wonderful steak dinner. I even asked nicely and he cleaned up my dress for me. I was kind of annoyed with Shon for not mentioning that I should bring a change of clothes. Maybe he just wanted all of us to be one big nudist colony. And then I visited. I got to meet (and 'enjoy') some of the other writers that I had read so much about. I don't care if you don't use yourself as a character... your stories tell an awful lot about you. I stayed away from Homer. I really didn't want to have a bouncing baby nine months from now. Although that would bring up an interesting point. If someone DID get pregnant on this joyride through time, how would they explain the conception to the kid if it ever asked. "Well, honey, your dad and I met up somewhere between the Holy Crusades and the Russian Revolution." Yeah, ok... not too many issues for therapy with THAT concept.

Anyway, after talking and hearing about everyone else's adventures, I developed an urge for another one. Not a sexual escapade. A real true adventure. Kind of like an Indiana Jones movie. So I sought out the leprechaun and asked if he could drop me off somewhere and then come back and pick me up in a bit. I mean, I didn't want to deprive anyone else of an opportunity to visit a special time period, but if I could squeeze a freebie in... well, I AM the teeniest bit selfish. Shh... don't tell anyone.

Louie agreed, but told me that I had to make up my mind really quickly. I asked him to set me down in the ancient middle east. Around King Solomon's time. I wanted to quest for the item I had read about in a couple of ancient manuscripts. The Queen of Sheba's Ivory Dildo. It was alleged made of pure white ivory and was an accurate replica of King Solomon's most outstanding feature. He had given it to her as an engagement gift, but reality intruded, and they realized that they couldn't be together forever, due to politics, but he had wanted her to have it to remember him by. Pretty romantic, huh? And I wanted to see it.

The little green man gave me a weird look as I explained the story to him, and he shook his head and swerved the train suddenly. I lost my footing, and can you believe I slipped and actually fell OUT of the locomotive?!

I landed with a thud (AGAIN!) in a pile of sand. The sun blazed down at me, and I looked around. There was a small caravan of camels coming towards me, and I rose to my feet and started waving my arms. It was hot as hades and I wished that I had clothing less bulky than my by-now wrinkled linen dress. I felt the sweat trickle down the side of my face as the camels drew abreast of me.

"Well, what have we here?" I heard a gravelly voice say. Thank goodness for that magical button, because I could tell that he was speaking some language that I would NEVER have understood. I looked at the speaker and was taken aback to see a pair of ice-blue eyes set in what appeared to be darkly tanned and weather beaten skin. I couldn't see much, because he had flowing draperies on, that looked remarkably like what we think of modern day Arabs wearing.

Anyway, I was a tiny bit scared, since I was facing what looked to be an entourage of about 10 or 15 men with pack camels beside them. Still, I drew a deep breath, and smiled cheerily. Smiles are a universal language, right? "Excuse me, sir, but I was looking for the palace of the Queen of Sheba. Would you be able to help me?"

Now I realize that asking this in the middle of the desert seemed pretty inane, but really... there I was, stuck in some ancient time, in an unknown location. For all I knew, Louie had swerved the train by accident and I just fell out in some other era than the one I had asked for.

Blue Eyes laughed, and the other men seemed to take his cue and they chuckled as well. I smiled, not knowing what to do.

"Well, Lady, we are on our way to her lands right now. Would you like to join us?" he asked.

"I surely would. How kind of you, my lord," I addressed him. I figured calling him my lord was safe. I think that was a sign of respect all through time.

"Unfortunately, though, we don't seem to have an extra camel, so you will have to ride with me. Is that acceptable?" he continued.

I weighed the options, looked around at the sands that surrounded me on all sides, felt the sun blazing down on my head and knew I had little choice. "I have never ridden on a camel, but I will try."

The man alighted from his camel, and I looked dubiously up at the animal. I had heard all of the stories about camels spitting and being ornery, and this one looked like it hated me already.

I heard the man laugh again, and he assured me that there was nothing to fear. I sighed, and looked at him. He looked familiar somehow, but maybe that was just because I have always been a sucker for blue eyes. I notice them everywhere. I can't help it. He pulled on the reins and the camel knelt forward. I saw a small saddle and I went to climb up, but he stopped me. "No Lady. I get on first, and THEN you get on."

I looked down at the long skirt I was wearing and knew that despite its fullness, I was going to have to hike it up. I hoped that showing leg wasn't against the law here. My knowledge of ancient history could definitely use some brushing up, I made a mental note.

I sighed again, and decided that I should introduce myself. "My name is," and then I stopped. One thing I DID know was that Pami was not a name that existed in ancient times. Nor was Kathryn, my alter ego with King Edward. I thought and then I came up with the only feminine name that popped into my head. "My name is Theadora." Ok, ok. So I was presumptuous. She was an empress of the Roman Empire. Or was it the Ottoman Empire. Oh well. It didn't matter, that was the name I gave him.

He climbed up onto the saddle and extended a hand down to me. "Well, Theadora, my name is... Alexander. Now, would you please..." and he gestured to the spot in front of him on the camel.

I was really going to have to sit on his lap. Oh God. I know I write some erotic stories and all, but I really am not that forward in general. I was reminded that I still had no undergarments on. I sighed yet again, and then climbed up.

I gingerly planted my butt down on the saddlehorn, and I tried to be ladylike about it, but there isn't too much you can do when you are straddling what was almost the neck of one big-ass ugly beast. My legs were spread pretty wide, and my skirt was just a bit above my legs. Thank God I shaved when I was showering on the train! At least my delicately fair (alright...PASTY!) white legs were smooth.

"Is that a roll of quarters, or are you just happy to see me," I muttered under my breath as my co-passenger pulled me snugly back against him. I could feel a definite bulge underneath my bottom, and I wasn't quite sure whether I should try to lean forward, therefore pressing my vulva on the saddlehorn, or lean back, and feel this guy's cock along my ass. At least he was clean, and that was a definite plus. I didn't think that cleanliness was next to godliness back then, but apparently this man was ahead of his time. In fact, he smelled really good. Almost like a fine cologne, but that was impossible. Well, whatever it was, I inhaled deeply and enjoyed the aroma.

There was a guttural yell from the man, and off we went. And I realized that it didn't matter which way I leaned, the rolling of the animal ensured that all of my sensitive parts were being bumped and prodded in what was a most delicious manner. So I decided to go with the flow, so to speak, and just enjoy the ride. I closed my eyes against the bright sun and fantasized about the dildo I was going to find. It was one of the rarest treasures of the ancient world, and I will admit, references to it in any books were sketchy, but I thought it was well worth the time to see if I could gaze upon it myself.

Alexander's right hand held the reins to the camel, but his left was wrapped around my waist. As I lost myself in my daydream, I felt my passions beginning to rise. The constant jolting against my clit wasn't enough to hurt, but was just enough pressure to make my juices start flowing. I have always been rather easily aroused, but I used to think it was a good thing. Now I was cursing it. I snapped out my reverie and noticed that Alexander's left hand was now just underneath my bosom. I watched as his large hand slowly inched its way toward my left breast. He was murmuring to himself under his breath, and I couldn't quite make out what he was saying.

All of a sudden, the camel stumbled on the down slope of a sand dune, and Alex's hand made its leap from rib cage to firmly over my tit. I jumped in my place, and opened my mouth to reprimand him, but then his long fingers found my erect nipple and he plucked at it. Instead of the rebuke I intended, a small moan came out of my mouth. Damn, it felt good. So I let him keep playing with it. I know, I know... I should've just jumped off the camel and demanded to be left there, but let's be real. I was alone, in a desert, Heaven (and Louie) only knew exactly where, and this man had something intangible about him that was turning me on. It wasn't like I was ever going to see him again, anyway. And so we rode on.

My head fell back on Alex's shoulder, and I looked at his blue eyes. They twinkled at me as he continued to toy with me, and I smiled in return. I wiggled on his lap, and was rewarded to feel the penis underneath my bottom grow. It had already been semi-erect, but as I squirmed and Alex tweaked, it grew to what felt like a glorious length and thickness. My pussy was dripping. I chuckled, thinking that John and Maria would laugh like hell when they saw ANOTHER huge wet spot on my skirt.

"What is so amusing, Thea?" that wonderful voice asked.

"You wouldn't understand, Alex. You wouldn't understand," I replied with a smirk on my face.

I wondered what the other men in the caravan were thinking, and if they could see what their leader was doing to me. They probably wouldn't have cared anyway. Women were chattel back then, and I was fortunate that this man hadn't simply bound and gagged me and hauled me off to some harem or something.

"By the way, you have lovely nipples," Alex commented idly, almost as if he were commenting upon the weather.

I felt a shudder run up my spine as he switched his hand to my right breast and proceeded to toy with that one. I didn't know how much more I could take. My clit was throbbing with every step the camel took, and my nipples were so hard I thought they were going to burst right through the thin green cloth of my gown.

"Oh," I exclaimed as Alex shifted behind me, and lifted me slightly, pulling my gown up so that when I reseated myself, I could feel his naked cock along the crack of my equally naked ass.

"Do you like that, Thea? Can you feel me against you? I can feel your juices on my cock. Your pussy is so hot." Alex whispered in my ear, continuing on as my breath quickened. He had found my weakness. Well, one of them, anyway. I love to hear a man talk dirty to me. I can't help it. It's a turn on. This guy knew all the right buttons to push.

"Tell me what you want, Thea. Tell me..." and Alex handed me the reins of the camel and his right hand plunged between my legs and cupped my sex. He massaged and kneaded me and I just couldn't think straight. It was a good thing we were in the middle of the caravan and the camel was just following the one in front, because we would've been in big trouble if I had actually been required to think. The big head was definitely NOT the one in control!

As Alex pulled my right nipple out from my breast, stretching it, he thrust a finger inside my pussy. "Oohhh," I moaned. He swirled the finger around and then withdrew it, and we both looked at in the sun, shining with wetness. He held it up to my mouth, and I know... I know... this is really nasty... I licked it clean. It just seemed the right thing to do at the time. You all have been there... I KNOW it!

"Please... Please, Alex," I moaned.

"What...What, Thea?" he mimicked me, but I felt the pulsing of his cock, and I knew he was as turned on as I was.

I raised my bottom up just a bit, reached underneath, and positioned his manhood at the right angle. "Fuck me," I breathed at the same moment that I slid down on his pillar of flesh.

"Aahhhh," he groaned as he sank in me all the way to the balls.

"Aahhh," I groaned as I felt him stretch my channel. "Oh God... you are in me so deep," I managed to say in between steps of the camel. Every motion seemed to drive him deeper. I flexed my interior muscles and was rewarded by his moan.

We rode like that for long minutes. I have no idea how long, but it seemed like we fucked for hours. The scenery never changed, and the camel just kept plodding along. Neither of us wanted to hurry this along... it felt too damn good to want it to end. Every once in a while, Alex's mouth would bite at my neck through his scarf. And every once in a while, I would reach between my legs and just hold my hand where he penetrated me. It was an incredible feeling to actually touch his hardness as it slid out of me, covered in juices, and then feel it thrust deeply inside again.

Finally, I couldn't take anymore. The constant teasing of my inner nerve endings, along with the rubbing of my clit was too much. "Oh God, Alex." I panted. "Oh God. I am going to come. I am... I really am."

Alex's hand left my tits and plunged down to my womanhood. At the same time that he pulled my clit between his thumb and forefinger, he said to me "Then come, Thea... COME!" And I did. I shuddered and moaned, and pretty much screamed as an intense orgasm washed over me.

I guess the convulsions in my pussy were too much for him, because Alex thrust extra hard into me, and yelled too. "I'm coming.... Ahhhh... Pami!"

I froze. What the HELL?! As his words sank in, I turned and pulled the draperies away from around his face. It was one of my fellow writers from the train. "JOHN?!" I blurted. "John A.? What the HELL are you doing here? And why didn't you tell me it was you?" I was seriously annoyed. I mean this guy had just given me some incredible pleasure, but I felt like he had done it under false pretenses. I thought I was with some ancient Bedouin warrior, and here it was, my buddy John.

He smiled at me. "Well, I wanted to go on an old fashioned quest for an ancient artifact, but I didn't want to interrupt anyone else's fantasy, and that leprechaun told me this was quick and easy." He paused. "It sure has been fun!" he leered at me as he patted my tits.

I was still irked with John, but that damn leprechaun was going to pay when I got through with him.

"C'mon Pami.... forgive me? Please? I'll be your best friend?" John asked in a wheedling tone.

I half rose, feeling his softening cock slip out of me, and then plopped my butt back down on top of him. He squealed a bit, but I knew I hadn't really hurt him. "Well, John.... I guess I'll let it go THIS time. Since you... performed so well, that is," I smirked. "However," I continued, cutting John off as he started to say something, "However, there is a price. I need you to help me with my quest. I could use a spare set of hands. And eyes. And the rest of you isn't bad either," I winked.

"Oh, come on, Pami," John protested, "I have already FINISHED my adventure, and to be honest, I really just want to get back on the train and into a nice cool shower. This desert sun is killing me."

"Wait, John, I think you might enjoy this," I told him.

He sighed deeply. "Alright. You win. What can I help you find?"

"Louie promised me I could search for... King Solomon's Ivory Dildo," I pronounced in what I hoped was a dramatic tone.

John laughed. And laughed. And laughed. In fact, by the time he was able to speak again, there were tears rolling down his cheek.

"What the hell is so funny?" I asked crossly.

"Ah, Lady... ask and ye shall receive." John stopped the camel we were riding on, and kind of just tossed me down to the sands. He jumped down after me, and strode to the pack camel that was directly in front of us. He withdrew a small dark bag, and tossed it to me. "Just something I picked up in King Solomon's quarters."

I opened the drawstring of the bag, reached in and pulled out...a piece of worn ivory shaped like a rather large phallus. I looked up at John. "Is this..." I stopped at the sight of his nod.

"Yes, Pami. The legendary Ivory Dildo. Beat you to it, I suppose."

That damn leprechaun.