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The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
by RankAmatr (rankamateur@writeme.com)

***

A late 90s series of incest sanerios proported to be 
from contributors. As far as we know there were a total 
of 23 issues total. (MF, FF, bi, inc)

***

The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 1

[Ed. note: This begins a series of reposts to 
alt.sex.stories. moderated of the entire series of 
digests. My thanks to Eli for providing this service, as 
it gives me another forum to post where spam is not the 
order of the day, and at the same time, there will now 
be a web archive of the series!]

[Ed. note 2: I now have a lifetime e-mail address 
(rankamateur@writeme.com) and I'm going to use that from 
now on. I'm still rankamatr@aol.com for a little while.]

Even though incest is considered society's #1 taboo, it 
is likely one of our best kept secrets.

It is my belief that if the real facts were to be known, 
in proportion to other sexual behaviors, it is more 
likely that an individual would have had sexual 
relations with a brother or sister, than to have perhaps 
engaged in homosexual activities or other shared 
experiences.

I am interested in hearing from individuals who have had 
sexual relations with a family member, and what direct 
and actual impact this type of an relationship has had 
on you. I am not looking for details of respective 
experiences, but just simply;

 ...With whom (Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, etc.).

 ...At what age?

 ...Who 'wooed' who? 

 ...How you feel about your experience(s) today?
 
You can be assured the confidentiality of any 
information provided will not be compromised.

If you've had an experience you would like to share, 
please direct your responses to: RankAmateur@writeme.com

The following are stories I have received so far. Thank 
you.

***

I was seduced at an early age by an aunt and never 
regretted it whatsoever. It made me into a great lover 
of women.

***

I had sex with my cousin when I was 16 and she was 17. 
Before that we had kissed but that was it. I am now 23, 
we continue to have sex whenever it is possible. We both 
feel it has helped our sex lives extremely. We can share 
with each other fantasies that we are afraid to share 
with others. I would say that it was and has been the 
greatest sexual experience of my life. I love my cousin 
dearly for sharing all our times together.

***

I recently had sex with my first cousin. We're both 
grown, I'm married and she's divorced. We've always felt 
an attraction, but nothing happened until I took the 
initiative and seduced her after a family get-together. 
We did it again a few weeks later. It was fun when it 
was happening, and she said she enjoyed it, but now she 
won't call me back. I'm afraid it's bothering her now, 
despite the fact that she claimed she had no hang-ups 
about incest. See my recent posting to alt.sex.incest 
entitled "Fucking my Cousin (M/F, true, incest)" for 
more details.

***

My cousin and I have had sex on and off for the last ten 
years or so. It is very casual and we both enjoy it. It 
is very consensual since we were in our early twenty's 
when it started. We both see other people and have been 
married before. She lives in the Midwest and I live on 
the west coast so we don't see each other often enough 
to get bored with it.

***

Have had such experiences. Cousins, nieces, aunt, half-
brother. All enjoyable. I agree this is an under-
recognized part of our lives. Would like telling you 
about these, but do not totally trust this distribution 
system. Perhaps there are ways to work it out. Let's 
talk. I can finance long distance call if necessary.

***

I had sex with a cousin who is 4 years younger. As a 
matter of fact, one of her children is mine.

***

I was adopted by my parents at age two. My first memory 
of incest was when I was in preschool and as my mother 
drove me home, she fondled my crotch as she drove. 
Sometimes she would come to bed with me and fondle me 
there. Full intercourse started when I was eight and 
continued for seven more years. It also included my 
sister who was four years older and also adopted. Soon I 
was having intercourse with her and this lasted for ten 
years, even after she was married. My sister and I still 
get together about four times a year and enjoy each 
other very much. I am now 41 and she is 45.

The experiences were very positive, both my mother and 
sister were gentle and kind. I always received positive 
reinforcement when I pleased them. To say the least, I 
was trained very well in pleasing a woman, and my wife 
can attest to that.

I cannot think of any negative results other than it 
took me 18 years after I was married to tell my wife and 
I always felt guilty of holding back with her. We 
fantasize regularly now.

***

I began having sex with my older sister, I was 8 or 9 
and she was 16 or 17, I really enjoyed it but she 
refused to let me touch her when she began going steady. 
It was then when I turned to my younger sister. By then 
I was 12 or 13. We continued having sex all through my 
college years until I moved out of state. 

We see each other infrequently but we do talk on the 
phone and fantasize about our sex. When we do get 
together we have super sex. I am now 44 and she is 37. I 
have also had sex with my daughter. 

This began when she was 15, she is now 20 and married on 
her own. We all lead very productive lives now. Please 
let me share the stories of others.

***

Hi, yes I have I've been with my mom, dad, brother, and 
both of my sisters. Since I don't live with mom and dad 
anymore they are pretty much out of the picture, but I 
live with one of my sisters and our brother lives close 
by. We all spend a lot of time together if you know what 
I mean. 

All us girls are bisexual because of this and we love 
it. I am the middle of 3 girls. My older sister started 
having sex when she was 12. I started with her at 10. I 
was 12 before I did anything with my brother or father. 
Same with the others. 

I guess 12 was the decided age. Anyway, the experiences 
we have all shared has brought us all close together. No 
regrets here. We're all glad we did it. I hope this 
helped your survey.

***

Hi, I read your note inquiring about those who have had 
incest. I am a 22 yr old college student and I have been 
sexually active with my twin sister since 14, we enjoy 
our relationship very much and are planning to live 
together after we both graduate from college this 
summer. 

Our dad died from cancer just a few weeks before we 
graduated from high school and a little over a year 
later mom joined us kids in our lovemaking and it has 
been wonderful making her happy. I am going to college 
close to home and I am home on most weekends. Mom and I 
spend a lot of time together in bed.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 2

Incest is prevalent in our family, I have an uncle and 
aunt (dad's sister) who have 18 kids, and most of them 
have been or are involved in incest with siblings. The 
older ones teaching the younger ones how to have fun. I 
would be interested with how many replies you receive 
and how most feel about their relationships.

***

My mom and dad both introduced me to sex at the tender 
age of 7. I walked in on them in the act and rather than 
throw me out they invited me in to watch and learn. 
Eventually the "lessons" progressed further to the point 
where I participated in their lovemaking. It was 
wonderful! I felt very special, very loved and VERY 
grownup. 

I never regretted it for a minute. 

We had and still have a very open caring relationship. 
Unlike many children and most adolescents I knew how 
much they loved me and trusted me. I was never forced or 
coerced. 

I believe that my incestual relations with mom and dad 
were the basis for the exciting sex life I now have. I'm 
so happy they didn't let taboo stand in the way of 
expressing their love for me physically.

***

My wife and I would like to receive any stories you can 
forward to us.

We have been involved for quite a few years. We have 
three children. All are involved and have been since 
they were in their teens. They are now 20, 19 and 18.

***

Nice post! 

I have been sexually intimate with my father since I was 
14 (now 19). While I have never had any real head trips 
from it, I think it is frequently difficult for my dad 
to deal with.

He has repeatedly tried to "end" it, but never for more 
than a couple of weeks. He also has real hang-ups about 
having certain types of sex with me, even though he 
knows I personally enjoy them.

I would like to be able to talk with him more about his 
feelings, but it is hard for him to talk to me about it. 
I think he feels that he is "sick", or something, and I 
think that the fact that he can't actually control his 
desires is also upsetting to him.

I have always told him that I don't think you can make 
black and white judgments about it. This kind of a 
relationship is different for different people, and for 
some people it can be very positive, and very right.

About my mother: I have one, but we have never been 
close, and she and my father divorced about 4 to 3 years 
ago. She had no "involvement," but she was the "cause" 
of it. She was/is a complete alcoholic who was drunk by 
10 am, and passed out by about 3 in the afternoon every 
day, and was really nothing but a vegetable in our home.

***

First I must admit my curiosity for your inquiry. I have 
protected the secrecy of my relationship with my mother 
for years but have become more curious if others share 
similar experiences.

It started in my teens. My mother initiated the 
exploration when she believed I was asleep. It is common 
for adolescents to have an erection when sleeping. 

My mother first explored me by looking at my erection, 
later by touching it with her hand and finally by oral 
contact. This occurred at intervals during my teens and 
I had learned to feign sleeping if I was awakened during 
the contact. It stopped when I went away to college.

Some years later, when I was in my mid twenties and my 
mother in her mid forties, after a party celebrating my 
mother's birthday, we were cleaning up. The good humor 
and alcohol relaxed us and, more from curiosity and a 
sense of trust, the subject was broached. 

It probably was awkward at first but then we both found 
that bit of past both complimentary and exciting. 
Perhaps the wine contributed to the decision but our 
discussion had proceeded into some very intimate and 
arousing subjects and we decided to do a bit more 
exploring. 

With mutual physical contact and stimulation, we were 
both excited to the point that full intercourse 
occurred. I found it to be a fantastic experience and my 
mother agreed that she found it similarly rewarding.

Since then, we frequently have very satisfying 
intercourse. Perhaps the taboo nature of our 
relationship adds to the excitement but we are also 
careful, society judgments being what they are, and 
intend to continue our secret affair indefinitely.

As I stated, I am curious if others have had similar 
experiences and are dealing with it comfortably. I would 
be interested in any information you have and would 
appreciate your response.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 3

With sister (Well we tried) it was when we were in 
primary school (Below age 12 anyway), she is 18 months 
younger than me. We never did get it right (no actual 
penetration, we tried though, too young maybe? *shrug*), 
mutually masturbated each other quite a bit. 

I can't speak for my sister but I don't think it has 
affected me either beneficially or adversely.

***

My experience would fit with your suspicions, for I had 
a long-standing incestuous relationship with my older 
sister that served more to bond an already healthy 
connection that has lasted all these years to now. 

I've written of our early sexual awakening, at least 
with each other, of the halting and hesitant attraction 
we discovered for each other and how that slowly 
progressed. 

Some readers, looking for fantasy fulfillment perhaps, 
have registered a modicum of disappointment that (so 
far) "haven't done it yet." But that slow-as-molasses 
mutual seduction was as it really happened.

While there was more to occur between us, I've not 
written more than the first ten chapters and this small 
novel.

For your purposes, the experience, based on openness and 
honesty, served us well. We came to know ourselves, our 
sensuous and sexual selves well in our incestuous 
relationship. 

We remained close, at first physically as well as 
emotionally, and later, on different sides of the 
country, there continues to exist a strong tie of warmth 
and trust.

To this day I fantasize about her. I've not written 
about the fantasies I had about my mother. That remains 
in the shadows of my closet.

***

My sister and myself had sex at age 14 (we were each 
other's first time). It was a wonderful experience.. 
although I admit it never lasted long enough for my 
liking. I look back on it with very fond memories today.

***

I have had sex with sis. She's 20 and I'm 22, and male. 
Both love it. Have you seen the book, "Children and 
Sex". Finkelhor, in an article in there, does produce 
data which does show more sibling sex than homosexual 
sex! You stand correct. Please e-mail me back the 
results of your studies...

***

My guess is that a lot of siblings experiment sexually. 
My brother and I did. He was my first, and pretty much 
my only (at least my only steady sexual partner) in high 
school. 

It wasn't until we got back together again as adults, 
and reacquainted ourselves, sexually I mean, that we 
began to fall in LOVE. And that, I'm sure you know, is 
an entirely different thing all together.

***

Well, by the age of 8 or 9, I've played the bionic man 
with my sister.

She was the bionic woman, in our play. Usually, it was 
not sexual. But by two or three times, we have had 
sexual contact. She took my penis in her mouth once, but 
just with her lips. Her tongue stayed away and it lasted 
only a few seconds. (A single insertion.) 

I have kind of masturbated her with my big toe another 
time. Once, we had interfemoral intercourse. I was 
fucking her thighs, sort of. And I came that way! 
Generally, she was just dancing naked in front of me. 
She is three years younger than me. Our last game play 
ended when I was about 12-13, I think. After a bath, I 
went in bed with her and poured some honey on her tits 
and I then proceeded to lick them clean.

I don't even remember if I was excited or not when I did 
these things. I am not excited at all to write them, 
now. I am now 26, living with my girlfriend and my 
sister. (Up to July...) I have absolutely no sexual 
desire for my sister today. But we talk about sex pretty 
openly. 

I know she once let a cat lick her clit, she also made 
love with her boyfriend next to another couple of 
friends, she enjoys cock-sucking (she said she probably 
have a g-spot in the top of her mouth). 

We have never talked about what happened when we were 
younger but I sometimes do jokes, just to test her. Like 
if she says she is out of sex, I ask her if I can help. 
No success.. :) I don't expect any, however.

***

My sister, when I was 17 and she was 20.

***

I would love to trade experiences with someone.....I 
have had an intimate relationship with both my sister 
AND my brother.

***

I would be interested in sharing the information you are 
seeking. I have been looking for a suitable forum to 
discuss this issue since it is not exactly the main 
topic of polite conversation at cocktail parties. 

I have had actual sexual experiences with a family 
member and would like to discover how prevalent this 
type of behavior actually is. 

To date neither I nor my sister, with whom I engaged in 
this "relationship" have not discussed our experiences 
with anyone other than ourselves.

***

I had sex with my sister for about 3 yrs. beginning when 
I was 15 and she was 13 years old. We are now in our 
mid-thirties living independent but productive lives.

***

I don't know why your page contains no negative comments 
on incest, there must be a reason for the fact that 
people with negative feelings about this subject don't 
react. 

However what I do know is that there are a lot of boys 
and girls on this planet who are engaged in incestuous 
relationships. A lot of them (I don't know which 
portion) are deeply unhappy with their situation, 
because it often involves abuse of power by an elderly. 

So I maintain my point of view that your page, even 
though being assembled democratically, is in no way an 
adequate representation of reality. For a fact I can 
tell you that 1 in 7 girls in Holland have encountered 
something like incest. 

I can't tell you how many enjoyed it and how many 
didn't, but it is reasonable to say that most didn't, 
just read the newspapers and watch the news.

I don't have any stories to post, since I happily have 
no other relation with this subject than through fantasy 
on the odd occasions.

***

I am male 40 years old, it all started when I was around 
12 and had to go into hospital to be circumcised. 
Following the operation, besides being very painful the 
penis needs to be cleaned frequently to avoid infection, 
My mom did this, and it gradually became more than just 
medical care. We had always been quite open as a family, 
and nudity was in a lot of cases taken for granted. 

At 12 years old both me and my sister used to bathe and 
shower together (sister 2 years older) Mother encouraged 
sexual touching by my sister on the pretence that she 
was helping her to fix my dressing, this developed into 
full sexual contact between my sis an myself, and still 
continues today although we are both happily married. 

For several years now I have thought that this should 
end, but always come to the conclusion that I only think 
this to conform!!! All my experiences I consider have 
been fulfilling and I regret none of them. I would be 
happy to share some of them with someone who...possibly? 
...feels the same way, or has a genuine interest.

***

You didn't mention response from you on submissions. How 
does that go. I don't like one-way streets very much. 
Also you give the impression that you're only interested 
in male/female incest. How about that...

***

Is your "survey" genuine? I hope so, because I am in the 
distinct minority of persons who feel that incest can be 
very positive. I would like to network with such people.

***

My incestuous experiences were with my brother who is 5 
years older. (Male on Male) He introduced me to mutual 
masturbation and anal sex when I was about 8. I don't 
think that it has adversely affected me at all. I am 
normal, heterosexual, and a good relationship with my 
wife.

***

I have fucked my niece several times over a period of 7 
years or so. Whenever she comes to visit and swim nude 
in our pool I screw the crap out of her if my wife is 
not around. She loves being screwed by an older man. I 
am 40 and she is now 17. 

We started when I found her sticking a hot dog up her 
pussy when she was about 11 yrs old. She cried and 
promised anything if I would not tell her parents, so I 
taught her to eat my cock and it led to me screwing her. 

She still comes to visit and she still likes my cock in 
her pussy. We see each other 1-2 times a year and always 
have some good sex.

***

Well for a year my mother and I were having sex, I was 
17 and she about 37.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 4

I think the answers you are getting to your question on 
incest are one-sided. I agree that incest is much large 
than is admitted, having several friends that have 
participated in it. However, it is not likely for 
someone who has suffered because of it to answer to your 
question because of the shame they feel.

I will tell you about one of my friends. Her father is a 
Minister at a Methodist church. She has two brothers who 
are older than her. Her father started molesting the 
brothers at an early age (not sure when). 

They believed it to be OK since their father did it to 
them, so they both tried it out on her (my friend). 

For 7 years her brothers continued their incest. She 
even had an abortion at age 13-14 because of her 
brothers. She told the authorities, teachers, and 
doctors.. all knew, but never followed up on it.

She was one person who did not find incest positive. She 
has been institutionalized several times for depression 
and other problems. She sees life as a living hell. 

Please add this with your postings in the newsgroups, 
because it is a side that needs to be told. I Am not 
condemning it... I have not personally experienced it, 
but I have seen several results of it->none of which are 
good.

***

Hi,

I had a fairly long affair with my aunt (mother's 
sister) - on and off for about 7 years. The whole thing 
ended more than ten years ago because I left my home-
country and came to the U.S. I come from an Asian 
society where "sex" as a whole is more of a taboo 
subject - and sexual freedom is a lot less compared to 
the west. 

I grew up spending a lot of time with my relatives on my 
mom's side.

My first "sexual experiences" (not necessarily ones in 
which I took part) were all more or less related to 
peeping at women in the household - like taking baths, 
changing clothes, and occasionally (if I got lucky) 
sexual intercourse.

During my high-school years - a combination of 
pornography (that was the only regular outlet for sexual 
tension) and the occasional peeping episodes had made me 
very horny in general. 

Around this time I got really hooked on this aunt of 
mine - who had all the right things in the right places 
to drive a teenager crazy. I don't think she ever 
considered me to be a "grown-up" and was quite careless 
about my getting to see parts of her sexy body. 

If anything she probably enjoyed my desperation. 

To make a long story short - this gradually led to a 
situation where - quite often - especially at night - 
whenever there was the opportunity - she would slip into 
my bed - jerk me off - and depending on her mood - let 
me play with her absolutely stunning breasts. But for 
the longest time - she would never let me touch her 
"down there". 

I was very curious about that mysterious place which she 
kept out of bounds - primarily because it was so heavily 
covered with hair that I could hardly see anything at 
all even if she changed clothes right in front of my 
eyes.

Eventually, in my 2nd year in college - things became a 
lot more "adult". She let me ejaculate anywhere on her 
ass, or thighs or any other part of her body. She also 
let me masturbate her AFTER she was sure I wouldn't get 
an erection again for a while. 

This went on for about 2 years. I was quite happy with 
this routine - although I really felt like doing it all 
- at least once.

That chance came much later - when I planned things in 
such a way that I would catch her off guards - close to 
the peak of her orgasm. I just switched gears - stopped 
stimulating her clit - and got on top and pleaded 
desperately. And it worked! 

That was probably the most exciting thing that ever 
happened to me. For almost two days in a row - I was 
free to do whatever I wanted - whenever I wanted. It was 
like a real-life workshop in executing all the fantasies 
one ever had!

It has been a long time - and I haven't seen her for 
years. I thinks she is still filled with a lot of guilt. 
But I think she is also relieved that I am so far away - 
and we don't have to meet socially in the presence of 
other family members.

***

I have only told 2 other people in the world about this, 
but now I'm telling you... I married a woman in 1981 who 
had 2 daughters, 11 and 13 at the time.

About 6 months into the marriage, my wife had 2 
operations on her cervix which made intercourse very 
painful... we stopped having sex... but I would take one 
or the other of the girls and show them my penis, 
finally teaching them to take it into their mouths and 
sucking on it until they "made Daddy shoot his cream", 
always on their tongues and into their young mouths. I 
loved them more than I ever loved their mother.

Now, 15 years later, I still see the younger one and she 
still likes to have my penis in her mouth as we go to 
sleep. I use her in motels every chance I get...I hope 
this positive experience is helpful to someone out 
there.

***

I had sex with my mother when I was 16. My father had 
recently died and I spent a lot of time with my mother. 
We took trips and would get only one room at motels. 

Hard to say who wooed who, but one night when we were 
sleeping in the same bed I awoke with my mother 
caressing my balls, and we were soon kissing deeply. She 
went down on me and I came more than I have ever cum 
since. 

We then made love regularly for about six months, when 
she started dating another man. The last time we had sex 
was a sad time; we both knew it was the last time. 

I have never regretted it and I know that she didn't 
either; it was something we both needed at the time.

***

My sister and I had oral sex on and off from the time I 
was about 15 till I was 20. She is 2 years younger than 
I. Mostly I went down on her. We had bedrooms facing 
each other. 

She would rock her waterbed and make it make sloshing 
sounds and that was kind of my cue. I would go over and 
she would lift her night shirt. To this day, I have not 
tasted pussy as sweet.

There was never any force, and most of the times it 
happened she would come to me and outright ask me to 
"lick" her. We didn't speak during sex (for me, it was 
because my mouth was busy) probably out of fear or the 
parents catching us. 

You know how fundamental religions are about these 
things. I don't think I learned much about pleasuring 
women, but I did learn that I love to go down on a woman 
(if she is moderately clean).

I still fantasize about it now and then. The only 
detrimental affect it's had is that she started feeling 
guilty about it and made a big scene about it all. The 
fact that she feels bad about it hurts me. She didn't 
speak to me for about 4 years. 

Only recently has she started coming around and acting 
like I'm human again. I don't know what kind of affect 
it had on her in general because even now she won't talk 
about it.

*grin* As it turns out, she was in a monthly porn 
magazine that I occasionally pick up. I bought the month 
after she was in it and found her picture in the letters 
to the editor. 

The letter mentioned the issue and showed one of the 
photos from the pictorial. Still trying to collect that 
one, but it's been a couple years.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 5

I started with my sister at the age of 17 and she was 
15. She started tickling me and her hands repeatedly 
went to my cock. Then she stood up and asked if I wanted 
her to pose like the women in my girlie magazines. I 
said yes and I jacked off as she did. 

When my cock was hard, she came over and mounted it and 
we fucked till I started to cum and she pulled off and 
let it shoot all over her face. 

We fucked several times a week till she was 18 and went 
to college. we still do it once and a while, ever after 
20 yes. we still enjoy it, and do it when we aren't 
getting enough from our spouses.

***

I wonder how many of these stories are genuine. Mine is. 

I am a married woman, now 41, with a son 15. I am 
Caucasian of German and Italian heritage, 5'5" 120 
pounds and most people consider me pretty attractive. My 
son and I have been "involved" since he was 13. 

It is hard to say who seduced who since we are a family 
that openly displays affection with lots of normal 
hugging, kissing etc. Plus we are not ashamed of our 
bodies, although open nakedness is not the rule and we 
do have some modesty. 

However, since my son and obviously he grew up with me 
taking care of him he is not too shy around me, although 
as he has grown up he is a little more so.

Basically, I guess I really started to notice his body 
more as he entered puberty and began developing and 
thought he was very beautiful (I guess most mothers 
would think that about their sons). 

Since he was always very comfortable around me there was 
never any big issue about his nakedness or me seeing him 
that way. Looking back on it I realize it was his way of 
apparently trying to interest me in him in other than a 
motherly way.

At first I thought I had seduced him but I realized 
after a little while that he had been taking every 
chance to peek at me in the shower and when I dressed 
and always seemed to be walking in on me in my bedroom, 
etc. and then I realized that he had an interest in me 
for awhile. 

His freedom and comfort in his nakedness around me I 
think was also sort of a "display" for him to interest 
me in him (and it worked!).

We have very loving sex about three times a week and it 
is very fulfilling for both of us, and very loving. 
Sexually it is very complete for both of us, and I never 
fail to reach an orgasm when with him. 

He of course, at his young age, can enjoy multiple 
ejaculations with the briefest of rests between times. 
When his father goes out of town on business Chris 
sleeps with me and it is truly wonderful for both of us. 

His father (my husband) knows nothing of this and I'm 
sure would go bull shit if he ever found out, so it is a 
secret.

I would be interested in hearing from other women who 
share my feelings.

***

I started having sexual intercourse with my brother when 
I was 17-years old and he was 22. Although he initiated 
the intimacy, I was quite willing since I had always 
been attracted to him. 

I found that having sex with him was more exciting than 
with my boyfriends at the time and, as the years have 
gone by, we continue to enjoy fantastic sex with each 
other. I am now 37 and married and he is 42 and married. 

Neither my husband nor his wife are aware of our sexual 
relationship. One of the more exciting aspects of having 
sex with my brother is that we do things to and with 
each other that we don't do with our spouses. I hope you 
find this useful for your survey.

***

I saw you post and thought that I would reply. I grew up 
with only one parent, my mother. After I grew up, I 
started college and rented a room from her. When I was 
23, we started to have sex. It was a mutual thing and we 
continue to do it even today.

***

Between the ages of 13-16 I committed incest with my 
sister who is 3 years younger than I am. We never had 
intercourse, but we did participate in oral sex and 
masturbation. I hit on her, but she enjoyed it. We have 
never told anybody and we don't do this anymore. 

Now I have my partners and she is beginning to have her 
own partners. It was somewhat enjoyable, but I have 
found many partners that are much more exciting. It was 
just a way for me to get off without a girlfriend and 
without masturbating myself.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 06

I don't know if my experience really qualifies as 
"incest" or not. In my family, of which I am the first 
one "out of the sticks" it is not at all uncommon for 
2nd or 3rd cousins to marry. 

I guess that is the reason that when I watched the movie 
"Deliverance" the first time I certainly had more in 
common with the "hill folk" than I did with the city 
slickers from Atlanta out polluting the river.

Anyway, when I was in High School, which was down in 
Texas, several of my cousins also attended school with 
me. It is a difficult enough time for most teenagers to 
contend with sex to begin with, but with cousins it is 
possible to achieve a level of communication that you 
just cannot achieve with other friends.

My cousins, three girls on my dad's side of the family 
and two on my mother's and I were all very close. I was 
a good looking young man and although I had very few 
problems getting dates, my cousins and I were always 
very close.

At different times I had sex with all five of them. Two 
of them, one on my dad's side and one on my mom's are 
the same age as I am, while the others are one to two 
years older or younger.

The first one that I had sex with is 2 years older than 
me. She was a majorette and cheerleader. We were close 
to begin with and sex seemed on the natural thing. 

I guess she told the others and one after the other they 
all approached me. Never did I actually insist that we 
have sex. For all of them I was their first. In one 
respect I should feel lucky, in others I guess I should 
be ashamed.

Most of this occurred when I was between 16 and 18 years 
of age. I joined the military in 1969 and went to Viet 
Nam. It was the only right thing to do then. When I came 
back most of the girls were married or living in other 
towns.

I don't think it really had a detrimental effect on any 
of us. We are still a very close family and we see each 
other every few years, usually when one of the old folks 
passes away. Only one of them has ever approached me 
again and this happened at a family reunion in the late 
1970's. She had a bad first marriage. 

Late in the evening she and I were setting around 
drinking beer. The subject of her first time came up and 
she said she always remembered it as one of the nice 
things between us. Before we knew it we were doing it 
again. 

The amazing part of the whole thing is that sex seemed 
to be the right thing for us to do. It is entirely 
different than sex with your spouse, for one thing it is 
a lot more intense. I don't know if it is the taboo 
aspect of it or what, but sex with my cousins was the 
most physically exciting sex I have ever had.

Is it bad to look forward to such and experience? I 
don't think so. Jeff Foxworthy sure knows about it, "A 
redneck goes to the family reunion looking for girls." 
ha.

***

My cousin and I had a sexual relationship from the time 
we were 5 till 17 yrs old. He lived with us for a time 
and was very much a brother. We started experimenting at 
5 in an exploratory way.

We thought nothing about it being wrong. By the time we 
discovered it was "not correct" for close relatives let 
alone boys to play like this, we figured that it still 
felt good so what the heck.

We both would switch being the girl, so we satisfied 
each other. Soon we discovered oral sex and performed it 
on each other regularly. We never had what you'd call a 
romantic attachment though, no kissing or anything like 
that.

I first had sex with a girl when I was 9 with a friend 
down the street I'd known all my life. This made us feel 
grown up, on top of having something fun, secret, and 
special between us. We did it a few more times at 
sleepovers and such. 

By the time I was 13, I had become an open minded boy. I 
knew a lot about sex as I read a lot and felt I had some 
experience.

It was at this time my sister (12) became sexually 
aggressive. She knew nothing of my experiences. She 
seemed to like to wrestle in underwear, try to catch you 
in the shower and sneak peeks. 

We went on holidays and we got to stay in our own motel 
room next to our parents. Like a lot of conversations 
between kids late at night, it turned to sex and under 
the pretense of curiosity or practice or whatever it led 
to actual sex. 

I found the weirdest part the first kiss. We had already 
touched each other all over, but I'd never kissed 
anybody properly before. She kissed me first. I wanted 
to kiss someone for a long time but when it happened, 
for a second all I could think of was this was my little 
kid sister not a real woman. 

I kissed her back so she wouldn't think there was 
something she did wrong. The third time something broke 
then we couldn't get enough. Suddenly we were giddy all 
the more because we were siblings. We did everything. 
The next day we were a bit shy but blown away by the 
fact we had a lover who'd been there all along.

We knew we'd do it again and we did. We were very good 
together. By the time we were 16 we started cooling to 
each other. She got a boyfriend, then I got a girlfriend 
and we became ordinary teenagers. My cousin and I still 
played a bit but it knocked off by the time I was 17. My 
sister never knew.

We all went on to do fine with our lives and are happy 
in our relationships. I ended up an average hetero.. I'm 
glad we learned from each other when we did and I feel 
there's nothing wrong with it. 

I'll bet a lot more goes on than we know. So long as 
people with dirty minds don't make the individuals feel 
bad about themselves, it's just growing up. I feel we 
know each better because of it and are more bonded. 

Kids do have sex lives and as long as it's between them 
on their own terms that's fine. And if your sister is 
attractive, don't try and tell me you haven't caught 
yourself checking her out when she walks out in summer 
in a bikini!

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 07

Hi! I don't really know where to start, but I have been 
having sex with my older sister since my early teens. 
She walked in on me while I was masturbating. She said, 
it was only natural for people to masturbate and offered 
to masturbate with me. 

She was older than me so I quess you could say she 
'seduced' me. We masturbated together. Eventually, I was 
asked if I would like to touch her pussy ane breasts 
which I did as she fondled me. We both had a great time 
and masturbated each other to orgasm. 

After a couple of times together, we progressed into 
having sex. She was my first. We have a very special 
relationship and still have sex even though we are both 
now married. My wife knows about us having sex, but my 
sister's husband doesn't. My wife is still very secure 
in our marriage.

***

I was very interested to read your article, and in fact 
would be interested to read more, especially interested 
to read brother/sister stories. Please-mail me with 
anything you have that might be of interest. 

I have never told anyone of this story, and yes, 
anonymity is very important.

My story started when my sister and I were kids, she was 
probably 9 and I was 12, it was typical "playing 
doctor". After a few times and realizing my sister 
enjoyed these games I started to take them further, we 
progressed from touching to mutual masturbation, oral 
sex. 

We used to sneak around outside in the bushes or in the 
house when no one was at home, take our clothes off, and 
I would finger her and fuck her with things like candles 
and show her how to stroke and suck my erection. 

Finally I took it even further and had sexual 
intercourse with her one day when the rest of the family 
was out. We had sex with each other another dozen times 
or so over the next year, outside in the bushes, in her 
room at night, and always my sister showed eagerness and 
seemed to enjoy the excitement of what we were doing.

It was several years later when we next got together, I 
must have been 19 which would have made her 16. We were 
very close, it started one night when we were at home 
alone and drinking my dad's whisky, I had always been 
sexually attracted to her, especially since she reached 
puberty, she had a nice body. 

Finally I just asked her if she wanted to get naked with 
me, she was nervous and embarrassed at first but seemed 
relaxed and excited after we got our clothes off. Her 
naked body was beautiful, I think it was the fact that 
it was so wrong and so naughty that made it so 
incredibly exciting, it was a buzz that was so strong it 
was like a drug with me. 

After several sessions of mutual masturbation we 
actually engaged in intercourse. I made sure not to cum 
in her so the chances of her getting pregnant was 
smaller. She was much more responsive than when she was 
younger, I don't know if she had an orgasm but she did 
seem very excited.

Over the next 4 years we had sexual intercourse or 
masturbated each other often, usually about once or 
twice a month. I always tried to make sure we did it 
right after her period to reduce the chances of her 
getting pregnant. 

Usually I would sneak into her bedroom late at night, 
sometime I snuck into the bathroom while she was in 
there, and occasionally we would do it outside which was 
especially exciting. 

We almost got caught by our parents several times and 
once by some neighbors when I visited her while she was 
baby-sitting. This risk element added to the incredible 
excitement even more.

The last time we had sex was three years ago, we were 
both married by then and we were at home visiting the 
parents for Christmas, everyone got very drunk and late 
at night we slipped outside and we fucked inside my 
parents caravan. 

It was the most furious sex I had ever had, it was 
powerfully erotic. Soon after that I called her and 
asked her to meet me at a hotel room, I desperately 
wanted to have sex with her again. She showed up with 
her husband, she told me she had told him everything and 
it had to stop, I had never been so embarrassed and 
humiliated in my life. 

We talked later and she told me she felt very guilty 
about the secret she carried with her and was so 
relieved to get it off her chest.

I think incest will always be much more alluring and 
exciting and any other form of sex because it was taboo. 
Sex with my sister was the ultimate form of erotic lust, 
the excitement of doing something so wrong was enormous, 
there were no emotions mixed in, there was no worry that 
she might leave me.

***

My sister and I had always fooled around from the time 
we were young children. We would kiss each other and 
touch each other's genitals. We both liked it but even 
so we didn't get together very often, only a few times a 
year. 

As we grew older our involvement progressed to my going 
down on her and the two of us trying to have sex. But 
she was too young physically, she said that it hurt and 
so I would stop trying to push into her. This was when 
she was about 10 and I was 12.

One night our mother was over at her boyfriend's house 
for the night. My sister was 14 at the time, and I was 
16. We were alone watching a movie on cable. The movie 
was called "Wild Orchid," and for those of you who 
haven't seen it, it's almost pornography. In fact I 
heard that in one scene they were actually having sex 
but that the film rating board didn't find out until 
after the movie had been in theaters. 

Anyway, we both got really turned on and started making 
out on the floor. I was lying on top of her and we were 
french-kissing, which I loved. I wanted to say something 
romantic and so I stopped kissing her, looked into her 
eyes, and said "I want to make love, do you?" She 
nodded. 

I started to kiss her again but she stopped me and told 
me to get up. When we were both standing she took me by 
the hand and led me to her bedroom. I knew right then 
that she was serious. She told me to take my clothes off 
and we both did. I had the hardest time getting my 
shoelaces untied, I was so excited.

When I was finally undressed we both got under the 
covers where she did something she had never done 
before, she went down on me. I didn't know what she was 
trying to do until I felt her mouth on my penis. 

I'm not going to bother to describe how great it felt. I 
started to shiver as if I were cold even though I wasn't 
and we were both under the covers. I had her stop after 
awhile when I was about to come. She laid back down and 
I went down on her. My tongue soon got tired as well. 

I climbed on top of her where we kissed some more. She 
told me she was ready and that I didn't have to worry 
about getting her pregnant since she had just had her 
period. We got into position so I could push into her, 
but I couldn't find the right place to push on. She 
reached down and directed my penis to a place and said 
"there, push." 

I pushed and I felt myself slide into a warm, soft, wet 
place. I sometimes wonder if penis and vagina size are 
controlled by the same genes, we fit together perfectly. 
I slid in as far as I could go. 

She didn't make a sound while this was happening. Once 
all the way in I began moving in and out, sometimes 
pulling all but the tip of my penis out and the pushing 
all the way in.

It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life, 
sleeping with my sister. After a SHORT while I came 
hard. Now some of you won't believe this, but when I was 
that age I could stay hard for as long as I wanted to. I 
could jack myself off to two or three orgasms if I 
wanted. 

I think most guys start out like that, it's when we get 
older that the equipment breaks down. We kept at it 
until she came too. This took less than ten minutes. I 
stayed inside her while we both caught our breath. I 
pulled out only after I started to get soft. We held 
each other and talked for hours before finally falling 
asleep.

It's been almost ten years since then and we still do it 
a few times a year. We both got real scared once when it 
looked like she was pregnant. It was a false alarm, 
thank god. I wasn't ready to be a father, and who knows 
what the baby could have turned out like. Neither of us 
feel guilty about having sex. 

As far as I'm concerned, there isn't anything wrong with 
consensual incest as long as no one is being exploited 
and no one gets pregnant. We love each other and sex is 
the way we choose to express it. I hope this helps your 
survey. It is a long letter, but I wanted to tell the 
whole story as best I could.

***

From: Rock
	[edited/combined with later letter]

A few years ago I was divorced, my parents divorced 
shortly after and my mother moved in with me. This 
lasted for over 5 years. Yes I did think about what it 
would be like for more than a few years before anything 
happened. I was 35, she was 57 and still very good 
looking! 

She did almost everything else, walking around scantily 
clad, towel from the shower, had me zip up dresses etc. 
Then it just sort of happened. 

Finally she got feeling pretty good at a friend's 
wedding reception that we attended, she was my "date". 
That night we just fell into bed together, she had begun 
to undress in front of me. She was very horny and turned 
out to be a wild woman in bed! I never had any regrets 
about this!

She was (is) great! Some of her preferences shocked me 
at first. I became her lover as well as disciplinarian 
(she can be quite a handful at times.) This took the 
form of spankings and paddling's with a wooden 
hairbrush. 

It was carried out while she was bare bottomed and over 
my knee. The first time was a shock and a struggle, 
after that (when I'd had enough and it was time for a 
whacking), she would obediently take her discipline. She 
understood that there was no anger, simply discipline.

We are re-married now but just last year, during a 
visit, we almost had enough time to get it on again. If 
we could have had another hour alone it would have 
happened. 

We only had enough time for a very hot petting session 
in the car. She was begging for it and had worn the 
minimum to the mall. It was very close! I still regret 
that we didn't have time! 

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 08

When I was 16, my cousin Kay and I started petting. She 
was a year older and had had several boyfriends already, 
so she showed me what to do. We petted under a blanket 
with her little sister Nancy in the room. 

At first she didn't have a clue but eventually she 
figured it out and would watch us making different 
shapes under the blanket, jumping up and down with 
nervous excitement.

Several years later I visited Nancy at college and we 
petted but didn't have sex. She was drawn to me but 
couldn't deal with it.

I liked it and have good memories of the experience. I 
don't know how either of them feels about it today, but 
Nancy is a born again Christian, and I'm pretty sure, 
still a virgin.

***

I had a short relationship with my sister and brother 
when I was about 13 to 15.

My brother and I would jerk each other off (he is one 
year younger than me). We also tried oral sex but it was 
not that great.

My sister is two years younger and we played with each 
other's parts at various times until we had fumbling 
missionary sex. My mother found out and went gonzo which 
ended it.

I suffered no ill effects but my sister may have been 
overwhelmed by parental reaction.

I do remember it was great to cum in her and would love 
to have another opportunity. We are on opposite ends of 
the country and I doubt it will ever happen again but I 
still fantasize.

***

Younger Brother... 13 till 35+ ... can still fuck him 
now if I wanted to... he lives 600 miles away... we are 
the closest when talking about sex... I have a huge cock 
that he has always loved. I seduced him first. It has 
not caused any problems at all. If anything we argue the 
less than any of my three other brothers.

***

I saw your post and thought I would reply. I`m using an 
anonymous remailer because the relationship is still 
going on and my daughter (with whom I`m currently having 
sex) is only 14.

We have been having sex for the past four years. It 
started when we went on holiday in the summer of 1992. 
We went to a caravan park in the south of France. Nearby 
was a beach that wasn`t very populated and most times we 
didn`t see another soul. 

My wife decided she was going to go topless. I didn`t 
mind this but I was stunned when my daughter joined her. 
She wasn`t very big up top but her breasts were just 
starting to develop and I fell in love with her there 
and then in a totally different fashion.

I started to use every excuse I could to be around her 
in close contact. Our first sexual encounter came when 
my wife went to the site shop and left my daughter and I 
alone watching the television. 

We started cuddling each other and before long we 
fondling each other sexually. From that date onwards we 
stole every moment we could to be alone.

Now, 4 years later we are both still mad about each 
other and look forward to being able to have sex we each 
other as often as possible. Don`t get me wrong, I never 
forced my daughter into having sex with me, She wanted 
to have it as much as I did.

Hope this helps your survey. Contact me for confirmation 
or further details.

***

Does this count?

When I was 15 years old my parents finally completed the 
adoption of a 13 year old girl called Samantha. She had 
stayed with us off and on for about 3 years as part of 
the foster caregiver's scheme run by the British social 
services. 

The reason she was placed with my parents was because 
she was apparently being sexually abused by her mother's 
boyfriend.

After a couple of months (during her first stay) she 
started to talk me about what she and her mother's 
boyfriend had done together. At that time I was a 
typical 12 year old boy whose hormones were running away 
with themselves. 

I couldn`t believe the things she was telling me until 
one night when my parents were at a works social 
function and we were trusted to be left alone.

Samantha showed me all about how she would perform oral 
sex by actually sucking my penis. This lead to other 
experiments until we were having full intercourse. 

Despite the fact she is not a blood relative we still 
enjoy sex today as much as when we first started in 
1982.

***

When I was 11, my older brother and I (he was 13 at the 
time) started doing stuff whenever our parents would go 
out. I don't remember exactly why or how it started, but 
usually I would pretend I was modeling stuff for him and 
walk by him while he was sitting in my dad's chair. 

I would take off whatever I was wearing and as I walked 
past him he would touch me all over. I remember the 
first time he slipped his finger between my little bare 
lips and how wet I was.

After a while, we started doing this thing where one of 
us would pretend they were asleep and the other would 
kind of explore their body. I had my first orgasm from 
him touching me like that. I also learned that I had to 
get out of the way when he shot his sperm, or it would 
be all over me.

By about the time I was 12, I had physically grown to 
the point where I wanted more. One day, my brother was 
lying on the sofa pretending to be asleep, so I went 
over and decided to try something new. 

After I had pulled down his shorts and admired his erect 
dick for a few minutes, I slipped my shorts and panties 
off completely and climbed onto the sofa with him, 
straddling his hips.

I was shaking with anticipation as I stared down at his 
throbbing erection, which was pointing right between my 
legs. I leaned forward a little, lowering myself until I 
felt the tip press against my cunny lips. I was slick 
from my excitement and I felt the tip slip right between 
them and the head pop into my hole. 

I remember shivering as an orgasm shook me and looking 
down to see my brother staring at me wide eyed, like he 
couldn't believe what I had done. I pressed down on his 
dick and managed to lodge about half of it inside me 
before he started bucking his hips at me and shaking. 

I knew he was going to shoot his cum but I couldn't 
bring myself to pull him out... so I pressed as hard as 
I could down on his throbbing dick as it began jerking 
inside me, shooting his cum in me.

To this day, I have never felt anything so wonderful.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 09

Starting when I was about 10 I spent several weekends 
over the course of several summers with my cousins who 
lived about 20 miles away in a small town. 

My male cousin, Warren, who was about half a year 
younger, showed me how to masturbate, (which I kind of 
already had figured out,) and we would do it to each 
other every chance we got. 

My older cousin, John, who was about three years older, 
joined us occasionally, and would sometimes suck our 
dicks. I was fascinated by their uncircumcised dicks and 
by the end of the summer we were all sucking each other 
every night I was there. Sometimes we took turns and 
other times we would figure out ways to get in different 
positions to suck each other all at the same time.

John ejaculated semen, which was scant and I didn't mind 
swallowing. Warren's orgasms were dry, as were mine, at 
least the first summer and, I think, most of the second.

John fucked Warren in the ass a couple of times while I 
was present. John would sometimes allow Warren to 
reciprocate in his asshole, but would usually suck him 
instead, and sometimes would give him money afterward. 

I remember that they called anal sex "cornholing." 
Warren let me cornhole him once in a while, which he 
seemed to enjoy. I would not let either of them do that 
to me, although John never quit asking for it and would 
put his fingers up my butt while he was sucking me, 
which I didn't mind. 

I wish, now, that I would have let them do it, at least 
once, so I would know what it felt like.

Their older sister, Eva, who was about 16 at that time, 
knew about our activities and would find opportunities 
to let us get glimpses of her naked body, ie, in the 
bathroom or when changing clothes in her bedroom. She 
had nice titties and a hairy pussy. I suspect that John 
and Eva were having sex, but was never able to prove my 
suspicions. 

I often tried to have some kind of sex with Eva, but the 
closest I ever came was one night in the car on the way 
home from somewhere I stuck my hand under her skirt and 
played with her pussy in the dark. 

She pretended to be asleep. Even though I didn't know 
what I was doing, exactly, I got my finger inside her 
vagina and got her wet. 

That same year, when we were taking a bath together, I 
showed my younger brother, who was seven, how to 
masturbate and, later, I sucked his dick. With a little 
encouragement he would suck mine, but he would tend to 
lose attention after a short time until I figured out 
how to mutually suck each other in the 69 position. That 
way he came to realize that if he quit sucking mine, I 
would quit sucking his. 

Often, my brother would initiate sex by asking me if I 
was "hungry" which led to us sneaking off together to 
one of several isolated spots we used to have sex.

Sex with my cousins was an occasional thing after a few 
summers, but I continued to have sex with my brother 
regularly for several years after that. 

I had him fuck me in the ass a couple of times, but he 
said he preferred having me suck him. He would never let 
me fuck his ass, and I didn't press the issue. He would 
let me put fingers up his ass while I sucked him, like 
my cousin had done to me.

The reason we finally quit was because my parents found 
out and we got the big lecture from them and our church 
Pastor. 

After that we had to sleep in separate bedrooms and were 
watched all the time when we were together so it was 
pretty hard to get together for sex, although we managed 
to do so once in a while.

Today, my brother and I are practicing heterosexuals and 
neither of us, to my knowledge, have had sex with any 
other males outside the family.

I did run into Warren when I was in College. We took a 
couple six-packs back to his apartment. After a few 
beers, he wanted to have sex, so we got naked and had 
mutual oral sex. 

I was kind of put off by his hairy body and his cock 
was, of course, adult sized and I had trouble fitting it 
in my mouth. When he came in my mouth I almost gagged. 

Afterwards, he wanted me to fuck him in the asshole, but 
I was too grossed out and couldn't get another hard-on. 
I wouldn't even consider letting him cornhole me. He was 
pretty disappointed, and he's never contacted me since 
then.

As an aside, I find the pictures of naked young boys on 
the newsgroups to be sexually exciting, but grown men 
don't do anything for me. I would probably be open to a 
sexual experience with a young teen boy, but the risk of 
getting in deep trouble with the law make it not even 
worth considering.

I consider my sexual experiences with my family members 
to have been a positive thing. I learned a lot and have 
a tolerance for gays and lesbians that a lot of people 
I've met don't have.

***

Hope this helps:

My mother worked 2nd shifts at a factory after I started 
jr high school, and my father used to be in charge of 
seeing that I did my homework, then bathed and went to 
bed on time. As a girl I used to parade around the house 
nude at bedtime, and didn't realize the effect it was 
having on my father as I reached menarche.

At one point he got very flustered when I walked into 
the bathroom on him, naked and began brushing my teeth. 
He kept staring at my breasts, and I remember feeling 
what I now know is arousal. 

A couple nights later I was masturbating in bed when he 
came in to kiss me goodnight and caught me. I knew he 
had seen me, but he didn't say anything about it, just 
the usual things, talking about our day, family chit-
chat. But his hug that night was more intense and he 
stayed sitting on my bed caressing me. I let him 
continue, but eventually he just kissed me and left. 

This continued for some time, with the caressing taking 
more and more time till finally he was touching me 
breasts and vagina, and bringing me to orgasm. I was 
only 13 at the time. It became our nightly ritual, and 
occasionally at first started even before I got ready 
for bed. 

At some point I noticed he was rubbing himself while he 
got me off, and I asked him what he was doing, pretty 
much knowing, but not all the details. So he told me, 
and I asked him to show me, and could I do it for him 
like he did for me. 

Well, this went on for a while, with me looking forward 
to our nightly sessions. Finally I had to ask him to 
fuck me. After that we were lovers, almost every night. 

We have been lovers ever since, even when I was dating, 
and since I've been married. it continues to be the best 
sex I've ever had, and it is entirely possible that some 
of my kids may be his. 

***

I hope this helps:

When I was about 13 and my cousin Hayley was 11, her 
brother Glenn about 7 or 8, we would play games whereby 
Hayley would end up naked and usually I (Occasionally 
Glenn) would rub her pussy or lick it. I was the one who 
started it, and no-one suffered from it.

At 15, I started undressing my 8-year-old sister. 
Eventually, it got to the point where I would lick her 
ass and pussy and she would suck my dick. The last time 
was when my brother caught us. He said nothing to mom or 
dad, but we stopped nonetheless. I think she's now 
forgotten about it, but I still fantasize about her.

***

My sister and I when we were about 6 or 7'ish were still 
having baths together, and we used to play things like 
house, like any other children. This lead to "boyfriend 
and girlfriend" my sister seemed to know more about sex 
at the time then I did, and this soon lead to us trying 
to have sex. We didn't know enough about it to get full 
penetration. It still felt good. 

Within a few years all sexual contact had stopped. I 
tried to re initiate it, but it almost seems like my 
sister has forgotten it all. It has left me with a 
strange attraction for my sister even to this day, and 
if presented with the chance to do something again. I 
would.

I hope this helps your survey. and I would appreciate 
getting back other letters you have received. as I am 
interested also in the effect incest has on people at 
later ages. and other such things.

[Ed. note: I don't redistribute mail. If it's 
interesting, you'll see it here.]

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 10

This is the story of what happened. Feel free to edit as 
needed. I take you at your word that identifying 
material will be removed. I would also appreciate an 
acknowledgement of receipt. If you need clarification or 
have questions, I'll do my best to answer them.

My sister and I have always been close. As children we 
frequently shared a bed and, when very young, bathed 
together. It was very common for us to touch and fondle 
each other, especially in the genital areas. This 
continued as we grew older.

Nothing substantial happened till we moved to a farm in 
the country. We had both just entered a new junior high 
school where kids openly talked about sex. Like anyone 
else, we were both curious. One night when we were 
sleeping in the same bedroom, we started talking about 
it. 

We both wondered what went where. 

The next step was to get into the same bed and 
experiment. I penetrated her and started to thrust. It 
hurt a little, so we just decided on thrusting enough to 
cause a sensation.

On the nights everyone else was out of the house, we'd 
undress and begin to fondle each other. This consisted 
mostly of kissing and touching her breasts, vagina and 
butt. We experimented with doing it standing up but 
never could get it right. This continued through the 
rest of the year. At that time I was 15 and she was 12.

When we moved to an apartment it died down. One night, 
while watching TV, she asked me to massage her legs. I 
slowly worked my way up and, before I was aware of it, 
had her panties down. 

We undressed and were on the sofa 2-3 hours before 
moving to the bedroom. This set the stage for everything 
that happened the next year or two.

The first time I realized that I was REALLY interested 
in her sexually happened shortly after the TV episode. 
One night she wore a pair of thick pajamas that we were 
having trouble getting off. I rolled her over and pulled 
off the bottoms. As soon as I saw her ass I knew I'd 
never see anything that beautiful again. I started to 
fondle and kiss it and pretty much lost control, we both 
did. 

Unfortunately, I didn't understand what it meant and 
what I was feeling.

After this episode we talked about intercourse and 
wanted to do it. We were also both scared stiff that she 
might get pregnant. As a result, we stuck with the usual 
routine.

As we got a little older this eventually died down again 
and finally stopped altogether. I no longer had it on my 
mind---or so I thought.

About 6-7 years ago we were at a party and she 
indirectly asked if I was still interested (maybe using 
"incest" as a verb isn't so indirect). I was caught off 
guard and couldn't say anything. Later, she approached 
me and asked again, in no uncertain terms. 

I felt that she was under some stress (Long story) and I 
also felt like I could be taking advantage of her by 
agreeing. The moment passed and we haven't discussed it 
directly since. However, those discussions made me aware 
that I still wanted her and had deep feelings for her. 
That will never change.

At this point, I don't know what will happen. It might 
help to simply talk with no promise of resumption, which 
would allow me to tell her my feelings. She shares them, 
but I have no idea to what extent. If the relationship 
is to resume, which is what I hope, she'll have to 
decide.

As for me, I feel no guilt whatever, it serves no 
purpose. What happened came about because of deep 
feelings. We've always been close and open with each 
other--perhaps as a result of all of this. That gives me 
hope for better things.

***

At 18, I walked in on my mother showering. She was 43, 
and although she looked it, I fancied her like mad. I 
got an immediate erection and left the room. I thought 
nothing more of it until two days later.

She walked into my room whilst I was watching TV. It was 
late, about 1 am, and she was wearing her nightgown. I 
didn't notice her enter, too engrossed in the TV show, 
but I noticed her pull back my duvet.

I sleep naked, which she knew. She reached out and 
started wanking me with one hand. I wasn't sure what to 
say, and in the end it was she who spoke.

"I've always wanted to try this, but your father's 
totally against it," she said and let go my by now fully 
erect cock. She removed her nightgown and stood nude 
before me, then she got onto the bed and motioned for me 
to stand up. 

She positioned herself facing away from me on all fours, 
and I penetrated her. After a few strokes, she pulled me 
out and pushed me against her ass. My mother has a 
lovely fat ass and I slowly pushed myself in, knowing 
she was an anal virgin.

Since then, I've been buggering my mother about once a 
week, and that was 3 years ago.

***

When I was about 10 me and my cousins used to go up in 
the tree house and play. When we had to pee, we just 
peed over the side on the ground. 

After awhile Billy wanted to hold my penis while I peed 
and I did the same to him. This eventually turned into 
more as Billy was wanting to put my penis in his mouth. 

I never did object as this feeling real nice. Things 
went on and we ended up sucking each other and fucking 
each other in the ass till we were about 15 or 16. 
Neither of us has had any other same sex experiences 
since that time.

***

My sister and I undressed and touched in our teens. She 
was 2 years younger and the aggressor. It started when 
we were kind of wrestling. That was the closest I would 
dare go sexually, but the body contact was fun. Once 
when I had her down she said I will do ANYTHING if you 
let me go. 

I immediately thought about sex, but was afraid to take 
any action or do anything. It happened a couple of more 
times and when I finally said "what would you do" she 
squeezed my cock and said I will suck this/ She was 
probably 14 and I was 16. 

Not too much happened because I was so chicken, but she 
did put my cock in her mouth a few times. I'm sure she 
wanted a lot more to happen but I was scared. 

I have talked to 2 girls who had sex with their dads. 
Both said it was good. In one case the sex was ongoing. 
She was in her 30s. She also had a sex life other than 
her dad. In the other case it started on her 14th 
birthday and continued till the morning of her wedding 
day at 19. She said the pleasure was mutual. 

Later she said, "Now you know more about me than my 
analyst." I often wondered if sex with her dad and her 
need for analysis had a connection. 

I never asked.

***

My sister was babysitting for my wife and I - When we 
returned from the movie we went to see- I was driving 
her home- the long way- I tried to get her to blow me- 

She told me I had a big cock - but it was for my wife- I 
didn't persist much- she licked it once - and let it go 
at that- 

I wish it would happen again in my older age (39) Am I 
weird? or what.

***

yes. I fucked my mother and a female first cousin 
several times. it was the most thrilling form of sex I 
ever experienced due to the forbidden nature of it.

I also tried to get my younger sister to try incest with 
me but she never did, although once she almost did after 
a few beers. she let me fondle her tits and ass through 
her clothes but when it came down to actually getting 
naked and fucking she chickened out. 

I use to sneak peeks at her as we grew up while she 
changed clothes or showered by looking in the windows of 
either here bedroom or the bathroom. I jerked off many 
times while peeping on her or our mother.

my experiences with my mother and first cousin though 
were both consensual and thrilling. I fucked my mother 
at the age of 35, she 59 and my cousin when I was 23 and 
she was 21. so there you have it.

***

My first time was with a cousin...I thought It was weird 
but have since found out that incest is more common than 
once thought... reading the first survey it seems that I 
am not alone in what happened.

I always thought I was weird because it really didn't 
bother me while at the same time all I ever heard was 
how bad incest was and how screwed up it made the people 
involved. 

I think I am pretty normal however. 

I know a few friends who were or have been involved with 
family and they are pretty normal too. I just wonder how 
much of it goes on we never know about, we just hear 
about it when it is really negative.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 11 

SPOILER: Two very bad experiences recounted in this 
issue.

I first spied on my mom and dad by accident. I was about 
ten I guess, just old enough to know "of fucking" but 
not old enough to know much about it. Still, I was aware 
that I was very horny, a kind of free floating sexual 
arousal and with no way to deal with it.

I'd climbed a tree in front of our house with, as I 
recall it, no intention of spying of my parents. A large 
and comfortable limb placed me just outside a second 
story window, my parents' bedroom, on a weekend 
afternoon as they were "making love." Actually, what I 
saw was them fucking. 

I'm more surprised now, as most children are by their 
parents, at their versatility. My mom sucked my dad's 
cock, and he her pussy. He fucked her from the front and 
from the back. Most erotic, he fucked her ass after 
she'd presented herself on all fours, reaching around to 
pull her ass cheeks apart in invitation. 

Later, she lay back, legs spread, and as they were 
talking, she idly masturbated, initially slowly and then 
with increasing need and vigor.

That started it for me. I was driven by bottomless 
erotic urges and my mom, bless her soul, was driven by 
her own gad flies, for my father as a merchant seaman 
and gone most of the time. 

I became aware of my mother's increasing and at times, 
blatant sexuality. I used every opportunity to watch 
her, to spy on her. I watched her dress and undress, 
sometimes with me there (pretending I wasn't paying 
attention!), and I watched her pee, sometimes in the 
toilet but more often in the kitchen sink, for it was 
more convenient.

I contrived to hug her and feel her breasts. To lie on 
the floor when she was reading, for her legs would often 
drift apart and I'd have an excellent view between her 
thighs. It seemed the only time she wore underpants was 
when she was menstruating.

Had it not been for an untimely death at a young age, I 
suspect we would have drifted into an incestuous affair, 
for she was becoming increasingly provocative with me. 
I've never forgotten those memories and often use them 
to masturbate by. It remains hot.

***

You asked if anyone had seen pictures. When I was 17 I 
found my parents' private photo box. It was all 
Polaroid's mostly of my mom nude and posing on the bed. 
My dad was in some too. I took some of them to a friend 
for copying and let him keep a copy. 

There were two funny things about this. I let him keep 
copies and so I knew he was jerking off to pictures of 
my mother. And he knew I was jerking off to pictures of 
my mother. Sort of partners in crime. 

Later on he paid me back with pictures of his wife, hot 
ones with dildos and vegetables! I am married now but I 
still keep those pictures of my mom (well hid of 
course). Think I will go get them right now.

***

Yes I have and from what I've read it is apparently the 
rarest of incest incidences. It was my mother... she 
died of cancer on September 4/1996. This is probably a 
sting of some sort. But if you are collecting 
information for some higher purpose then I would be glad 
to assist you... and no... I'm not some nut... I am 50 
years old.

My life was destroyed by this, there isn't a single 
person on the planet who cares a diddily fucking shit in 
any way other than to profit from my telling of my 
experience! You included or especially.

[This information is collected only for the purpose of 
posting the next installment of these surveys on Usenet. 
There is no purpose, law enforcement, academic, or 
otherwise, other than my own interest sparked by my own 
experiences. -- Ed.]

***

[SPOILER: sad ending]

Follow up from above poster.

I suppose you get a lot of bullshit stories on this 
subject.

Here's a true one.

As I entered puberty my mother would take showers and 
"discover" she didn't have a bath towel. So she'd yell 
for me to bring her one. I'd go to her door, announce 
myself, she'd open the door and stand back far enough 
that I had to reach out to her with the towel. Every 
time I did this she would drop whatever she had been 
clutching to hide her nakedness and stand there totally 
nude, both of us staring at the other. 

It happened so often I called it "the game". As I grew 
older I interpreted it (correctly) that she was 
beckoning me to have sexual intercourse with her. In 
those days (1950s) being called a "motherfucker" was the 
worst insult imaginable. 

What my mother did made me view myself as a potential or 
wannabe motherfucker. I moved away from home when I 
turned eighteen.

At twenty eight..my dad died and I returned home for 
awhile to comfort Mom. Less than a week after returning 
home I was laying in bed late one night half asleep. Mom 
gently pushed my bedroom door open. I lay there in the 
dimly lit room while she tip-toed around my bed and sat 
on the bed. 

There was some hesitation. I saw her make small furtive 
movements and then felt her hand gently grasp my penis. 
Within moments the pressure increased and she grasped my 
penis firmly. She then masturbated me. 

As soon as she left my room and closed the door I 
reached around behind me and turned on the light 
attached to the headboard. I had been fully awake (to 
put it mildly) during the entire incident. 

I remember telling myself to remember in vivid detail 
what had just happened because I suspected that a part 
of me would try to make it go away. I moved out of mom's 
house the next morning and returned to nurse her when 
she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993. Mom died 
September 4, 1994.

I assume you're collecting these stories to excite 
yourself. You probably read these and masturbate. I am 
presently involved in starting a new company called, 
well, never mind. 

Anyhow, the products are incest-fantasy-oriented. There 
is a tremendous market for this kind of thing but common 
decency dictates that the difference be made clear 
between fantasy and reality. One is harmless, the other 
is devastating!   

***

[SPOILER: This is the saddest story I've received. No 
others follow, you may skip the rest of the post if you 
like.]

This story is true, it's my own.

My name is Karin and I'm a 24 years old student of 
business, daughter of a Japanese father and a German 
mother. We live in Germany. I once had a sister, but not 
anymore.

I'm writing this as a sort of self-therapy, because I am 
really desperate. I never wrote anything like this 
before, especially not in English. I have only told this 
once to a very friendly person, I met in a German MUD. 

He was quite understanding and tried to cheer me up, but 
I never went into that mud again. I hate myself for 
that, but I could not bear the strain of "meeting" him 
again.

Please excuse any grammatical/spelling errors, and I 
might have not always found the right words to describe 
my situation. Even though my English is quite ok, I 
haven't practiced it for a long time. 

Since I don't know the exact dialogue anymore, and I 
wouldn't want to make anything up, I only write in 
passive voice.

***

I thought I could never tell anyone about it, but it has 
been 9 years now. I was 15 back then, and my sister 
Dorothea was 13. I never thought of me as pretty, but 
rather as a lousy excuse for a woman. Rather skinny, 
undeveloped and with a short haircut as I preferred, I 
was quite often mistaken for a boy. As I hate to say 
now, this often made me proud.

Doscha (as I called her) on the contrary was very 
appealing to the eye. She had long, flowing black hair 
and a perfect physique. She always was a cheerful, 
charming girl, laughing the whole day. At least, I 
remember her that way.

She was very popular among our family and friends alike 
and I hated her for that. Even though my parents noticed 
that she was getting so much more attention than me, 
they could not close themselves off to her charms.

You see, my parents were extremely prude. I think I have 
never seen my father naked and my mother only on two 
occasions. They never told me about the birds and the 
bees and stuff. A friend at school had to clear me up, 
and that was only short before my 15th birthday! 

I found out with 11 years [of age] how to masturbate 
with water jets in public swimming-pools. I always 
thought I invented something new, until I saw a boy of 
my age do it too. Then I continued to experiment with my 
hands..

I masturbated very often as this was one of the few 
things, that made me happy. I found out that I delighted 
most in thinking about how to socially disgrace my 
sister. I imagined how satisfying it would be if my 
parents walked in on her while SHE was masturbating... I 
always came heavily when I thought of that.

Then something even more shameful came into my mind. 
What if she was disgraced a lesbian?!? Or maybe even a 
lesbian who did it with her own sister!!! I almost 
flipped out over that thought and it became almost 
obsessive. During the next days I developed thousands of 
ideas how to make love to her, and just about as many 
sore spots...

I had already noticed that she was masturbating too, as 
she was not the type who did it quietly. When I think 
back, I believe my parents knew too, but they pretended 
not to notice anything that even remotely had something 
to do with that.

When my parents were gone on holiday, bicycling with 
their friends, as they still often do, I decided it was 
the time.

I told her a made up a story about a boy, I just met, 
and how wonderful he was, that we kissed passionately 
and how I was dreaming about him... That did the trick. 
Only 15 minutes later, I heard her in her room relieving 
herself. 

I noticed that she locked her door after she went in, 
but there was another door between her room and mine 
which couldn't be locked. Usually I have a chair 
standing in front of that door, which opens into my 
room, so she can't just walk in on me. 

Quietly I removed the chair and opened the door just a 
tiny little bit. She was kneeling on her bed, facing 
sideways to me. The way she did herself was not unlike 
my own method, I noticed. Then I loudly bumped the door 
open and stepped into her room.

She reacted as I hoped she would, she gave off a shriek 
turned white pale. She cringed onto her bed, shivering 
and tears in her eyes. I told her that I caught her red-
handed and what would happen if I told our parents and 
our friends. 

Besides, she was obviously masturbating about my 
(imagined) boy-friend and that he was mine and she stole 
him from me and had to be punished. She was like butter 
in my hands! I never felt so superior to another.

I slowly approached and caressed her hair while I 
started to undress myself with my other hand.

***

I can't write what comes next, since I forgot all of the 
details, but Doscha ended up having oral sex with me, 
which disgusted her, but I just loved it. In fact, I 
loved it so much, I completely forgot about taking 
pictures with the Polaroid camera I borrowed from my 
grandmother. But my fairest hint of giving away our 
'secret' was enough for her to succumb to me.

We both changed a lot from this day on. She was 
extremely introverted and sad and cried sometimes 
without any apparent reason. she really suffered a lot. 
My parents took her to a doctor when they came back, but 
she didn't tell anyone.

I, on the contrary, was suddenly energetic, cheerful and 
popular with almost anybody. I was even elected vice-
class-speaker a couple of weeks later.

The following 2 months I made her lick me seven days a 
week and I did her too, sometimes, when I felt like it.

Then one day, when I came back from school, my father 
was there, which is rather unusual, since he is normally 
at work till late afternoon. He was totally pale and I 
noticed, that he cried and he told me that something 
happened to Doscha.

We drove off to a nearby hospital, and when we arrived 
there my mother was totally lost in tears. She fell 
around the neck of my father and cried continuously. A 
nurse told me to be brave and that my sister had just 
died of the injuries she received in a car accident in 
front of her school.

Later I heard that it was almost as if she ran into the 
car on purpose. The driver of the bus that ran over her 
was a twenty-something year old guy. He came by our 
house 2 or 3 times. 

He was so desperate because of the accident and wanted 
to help us, but my parents sent him away. They didn't 
sue him or anything, but he was in a bad shape 
nonetheless. I think the police took away his license, 
or something like that.

To say that I felt as bad as I could would have been an 
understatement. I dropped out of school half a year 
later and pigged out almost 20 kg. I didn't leave home 
as I was wracked with suffering.

Finally, I managed to get a hold of myself and returned 
to evening-school and made it to the German 
'fachhochschule' where I still am.

I still have the feeling that I was a true monster, 
psychologically raping my own sister, day after day. I 
have never been close to anyone else anymore, and 
masturbating doesn't make me even remotely happy, so I 
stopped doing it.

I hope it helps if I can write this anonymously. It 
doesn't make me feel any better though, but I believe if 
I can confess my sins enough, I might even open myself 
up to a yet nonexistent friend of mine.

***

Well, I hope this has been of use to you. If you want to 
flame me for what I did, just go ahead. I can take it, I 
think.

Thank you for reading this.

Karin

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 12

The first time I noticed my mom was when I was 11. I 
started to go in a sit on the toilet and talk to her 
while she was in the bath tub. Nudity was never a big 
thing around our house. I spent a lot of time in my 
bedroom coming up with plans to seduce her. One night 
when I was 12 and a half, we were watching a movie on 
satellite and it was super hot out. 

She was laying on her bed naked. I kept sneaking peeks 
at every chance I could without getting caught. Then I 
got busted. She asked me if I was looking at her tits. I 
turned red faced instantly. She knew I was looking so I 
couldn't lie. But I did.

We finished watching the movie and started to surf 
through the channels. We happened by the xxx channel. I 
said something like wow look at those tits on her. Mom 
countered with mine are better than that. I said maybe 
but I can't touch yours. 

She laughed and said why can't you. I awkwardly said 
because you're my mom. She then said true but if you 
want to I'll let you if you keep it between us. I got 
terrified, began shaking but went for it. All the while 
we had the xxx channel on.

She asked me if I wanted to touch her pussy and I did 
but said no. I got a supreme woody for myself from this. 
The phone rang right in the middle of our encounter. It 
was mom's boyfriend. 

He was out of town on tour with a Canadian Icon rock and 
roller. I left her room while they spoke. For the next 2 
years nothing was mentioned of the escapade.

One night I was in my room watching a porno and mom came 
home from the bar. She came in and caught me. She just 
teased a bit about it and went up stairs. I followed 
minutes after hoping to catch a glimpse of her changing. 
She was laying on her bed in this sweater dress that 
buttoned down the front. She started to dial the phone. 
She then asked for Joe. I asked her why she was phoning 
him. 

She told me that she wanted him to come over for the 
night. I got jealous and hung up the phone. I told her 
that she didn't need to do that she had a boyfriend (who 
lived with us). She then told me he was boring and she 
wanted something better.

I retorted with if you just want to get laid I can do 
that. She looked at me and said DAVID you don't do that 
with your mother. I said why not I touched your tits. 
Then she said you really want to. Of course I do.

So I began un-buttoning her dress. She wasn't wearing 
anything underneath it. I opened it up and stated to rub 
her pussy. She opened her legs up wide and I stated to 
slide my fingers in her. 

Within seconds she was soaked. I was having my fantasy 
of 5 years coming true. I headed in to lick her pussy. 
The smell was incredible then as my tongue touched her 
she started to moan softly. I wasn't very experienced in 
sex but I went for it and pushed my tongue as far as I 
could inside her vagina.

After what seemed to be an eternity I went for the home 
run. She stopped me and told me to lay on my back. When 
I did she started to suck my cock. I was in ecstasy. her 
mouth engulfed all I had to offer. The excitement was 
too much to bear and I released in her mouth. She never 
lost a drop. All of my sperm went straight to belly.

She then Climbed on top of me. I laid there as she 
straddled my body and put my penis in place. She looked 
at me and said I have been waiting for a long time to 
fuck you. I said no way and right then I entered her 
slick pussy. She rode me slowly at first but within 
minutes she was at full gallop. It took about twenty 
minutes for me to cum again. After that mom laid down 
and told me that whenever I wanted to do it again she 
would.

6 months after our encounter she and I moved to Burnaby. 
She had finally had enough of her boyfriend who was very 
mean to her. We ended up becoming bed partners on a 
regular basis. Mom began inviting me to have sex with 
her and her cousin Bonnie after awhile. 

I used to get to play doctor with Bonnie when I was in 
grade three and she was like 26. I have actually gotten 
to have intimate relations with many female members of 
my family. I have never stopped liking older women since 
that night when I was 14.

***

This is my true story and it has devastated me for most 
of my life.

I'm not really sure why I'm telling you about this since 
I've never told anyone before. Maybe because I don't 
know you and you can't judge me.

It started when I was 4 years old. I would go into my 
parents room to watch television and my dad would put 
his hands down my panties and start to masturbate me 
under the covers, while my mom was in the kitchen 
cooking breakfast. 

The thing that makes me feel the worst about it is he 
never paid any attention to me or my sister at any other 
time, unless it was to abuse us physically and 
emotionally.

So I would go back there day after day and let him do 
that to me just to feel loved. This continued on a daily 
basis until I turned 9 and he took a work assignment out 
of the country. 

I tried telling my mom what he was doing to me but she 
wouldn't believe me (but I know she knew because she had 
came in on us a couple of times saw his hands under the 
sheet, left and said nothing)

This sounds sick, but I was so used to being masturbated 
that I would do it to myself daily, then I decided to 
have my little sister help me so I would make her lie 
down and lay on top of her rubbing myself to get off. 

I guess in reality this makes me a monster as well, but 
I try to tell myself that at 9 years old I really didn't 
know any better even though I'm racked with guilt about 
this.

I am 35 years old now, and when my children were small 
it was very difficult for me to change their diapers, 
give them a bath etc. because I was afraid I would touch 
them and maybe get an incestuous urge. But I am happy to 
report that never happened.

I find myself coming to the newsgroups and reading the 
stories about incest, but I'm really not sure why. I 
don't get any sexual arousal from it. Maybe because the 
fantasy stories are so different from real life.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 13

The story you posted about your encounter with your 
mother [ed.: hey, it wasn't me, I just repost what 
people send me] struck a chord with me. Your mother had 
a boyfriend musician and was calling him on the phone 
when you walked in.

Well my mom, was a promoter in the music business. She 
had a lot of musician boyfriends and of course they were 
always out of town (and cheating on her but that's a 
different story. They would call her when they were 
lonely or horny.

One night, this all started, I was too hot in the summer 
air and went to sleep on the living room sofa where the 
air conditioning was. The phone rang late as it often 
did and I sleepily picked it up but overheard Mel my 
mother's current (then) boyfriend. He was a country 
musician like most of them. 

What got me was that he immediately started talking sexy 
and instead of hanging up, I just stood there, in my 
shorts, listening. My mother wasn't objecting, she 
missed him and they were talking very sexy about 
touching and feeling each other. 

I realized they were both playing with themselves as 
they spoke. At this point, I got hard and reached down 
and was also playing with myself. Mel really had my 
mother going and talked about licking her cunt and 
things like that which really got me jerking. 

Suddenly Mel groaned loudly and huffed and puffed and 
groaned again. My mother also came but she was being 
more quiet because, I guess she didn't want me to 
overhear. Fat chance, ma! I was squirting cum all over 
your sofa comforter! 

Soon Mel hung up, falling asleep drunk, and so did both 
of us at home. The next day I could hardly look at my 
mother and when she asked me what was wrong and did the 
phone call wake me up, I just said, yeah, that must have 
been it.

The rest of that summer and for the rest of the summers 
I lived at home I would stay awake listening for the 
phone to ring and one my mothers' boyfriends to call. I 
would always pick up right after the second ring which 
usually worked. 

The dumb thing was I listened to a lot of private 
conversations about things I didn't care about, though 
sometimes they were about me, and that was really 
boring! Sometimes there were arguments and I would hang 
up. But sometimes they would have sex on the phone just 
as hot as that "first time" and so would I.

I wonder if she ever knew, or even suspected, but she 
never let on if she did. To this day I still pick up the 
phone and have to think before I say anything. To this 
day I like to have a fantasy about phone sex or sex with 
my mother. I sure found out what she liked.

***

10 years ago my sister and I were 12 and 11 
respectively. One day we found a XXXX magazine in the 
garbage and took it up into our tree house to look at. 
We both at the time knew nothing about sex and we were 
amazed at what we saw. We knew nothing about incest or 
who should have sex with who. 

I remember getting a massive hard-on and my sis could 
see it pointing thru my shorts.

We were both turned on, so we thought older people did 
this so we decided to get a head start. We first took 
our clothes off and my sis began by giving me my first 
blow job. I got so hot, I came in about 30 seconds. 

We did not know what that all meant, but my penis still 
stayed hard so we continued. I then went down on my 
sis's fresh pink lips which was almost hair free. When 
we had enough of that, we then went on to intercourse. 

At first, I had trouble trying to hit the entry point, 
but once I found where I should enter, I slowly worked 
my way pencil thin prick in because she was as tight as 
you could be for 12. While I was getting in, I came 
again because of the feeling I was having. My dick was 
burning but I wanted to go on and this time I was able 
to last a few minutes longer.

We continued on with our sex for a few months every day 
after school until my sister took sex education in 
school and found out what we were doing was taboo. We 
stopped right away and I soon took up masturbating.

After a few years my sis developed a perfect body and I 
was dying to see it and I asked her if she was getting 
tempted to do it again and she agreed. Her breasts were 
firm and round and her pussy was prettier than before. I 
myself had grown a few inches longer and wider and she 
enjoyed that too. 

We had sex only a few times after that time, but she 
would have given me the occasional blow job if she knew 
I was masturbating or if I asked her politely because I 
never found anybody who did it better that her.

It's been a few years since she last gave me head and we 
both know it will never happen again and just look at it 
as two kids who knew nothing at the time and were just 
having a little fun.

***

Hi, I thought I'd tell you my own incest story. 
Background: I am a white male aged 25. Middle class. 
I'll keep it brief: from about age 10 to about age 16, I 
had sex with my brother, who is four years younger than 
me. 

The sex was almost always oral sex and rarely ended in 
orgasm, although I do have fond memories of ejaculating 
in his mouth and on his face, as well as swallowing his 
sperm. Mostly, we did 69. It started when he caught me 
fooling around with neighborhood boys and wanted to try 
it.

There was a period of about two years where we did 
nothing at all; then we started up again when we both 
started sneaking downstairs late at night to watch our 
father's (heterosexual) porn videos. We would get very 
horny and masturbate openly, then have oral sex. 

My favorite memory is when we had a hot three way with a 
mutual friend who was a year younger than me. He was 
spending the night at our house; the three of us played 
strip poker and then shared oral sex and orgasms for 
hours. It only happened once but I will never forget it.

I do not think it affected me adversely; I fantasize 
about it now and would love for something similar to 
happen even though I consider myself mostly heterosexual 
and have a great sex life with my wife-to-be. 

My brother and I are good friends nowadays and enjoy 
spending time together, though we make no mention of our 
sexual past and I dare not bring it up. This past incest 
experience leads me to wonder if I will be sexually 
attracted to my own children; that is the only part that 
concerns me now.

***

I have been involved in an incestuous relationship with 
my mother since I was 13. She initiated it the first 
time, but I wanted it to happen. It has been a great 
experience in my live. I feel I am a more open and 
understanding person because of this. If you'd like to 
hear all the details, let me know.

[2nd mail]

Anything I feel comfortable telling you!?! I'll tell you 
the whole story!

When I was 13, I lived with my mother and my younger 
brother. After school he would go to the babysitter 
because mom worked and I would stay home. I had seen my 
mom at night using something between her legs. 
Eventually I found out it was a vibrator and I would use 
it when I was alone. 

One time I was in the living room naked using the 
vibrator and my mom came home early. She just stood 
there sharing at me and I got embarrassed and ran into 
my room. I stayed there all day not wanting to come out. 

That night, mom came into my room and sat on the bed 
next to me. She told me it was ok, that everyone 
masturbates and that she did it quite often. After 
hearing that I didn't feel so bad. 

I started asking her questions about how she used it and 
if it felt like a real guy. She tried to explain how she 
used it, and asked if I wanted her to show me how she 
used it. I was curious so I said yes. 

She undressed and showed me how she used it and 
described what she was doing. Then she told me to try, 
so I got undressed and tried. She watched, then took it 
and told me to do it like this and started to use it on 
me. 

It felt so good that I just laid back and let her use it 
on me. Over time I got to use it on her, and eventually 
she showed me how to perform oral sex on her.

Ever since that time, we've been sleeping with each 
other (About 10 years now). And I wouldn't change what 
happened for the world.

***

Love the stories! I've actually masturbated to some! 
Hope this helps...

I don't remember how this all started but my brother and 
I have been experimenting with sex for a long time. I'm 
now 27 and he's 22. I think we were watching sex on a 
cable channel that would have mild porno movies. 

One thing led to another and I was happily sucking on 
his 8 year old dick. He tried to lick my pussy after 
much encouragement from me, but he was turned off by the 
taste. 

A few years later when he was 12 and I 17 or so we were 
bathing at the beach and playing with ourselves 
underwater. We got so hot we decided to go upstairs into 
the house and I sucked his dick again. He, for some 
reason, would stop just short of cumming.

A year later, I was visiting him where he stayed with 
our Grandma and we had to share a sofa bed. I was half-
asleep when I suddenly felt his hand on my breast 
through the sheer cotton nightie I wore. 

Feigning sleep, he got bolder and started to move his 
hand ever-so-slowly down my body. I was so wet! He 
finally got to my pussy and was playing with it... 
touching it lightly through my panties. 

I couldn't keep pretending not to hear his fast breath 
and could hardly keep still. I opened my eyes and asked 
him what he was doing. He immediately withdrew his hand. 
I told him not to stop and I started to rub him off. I 
started to suck on his dick and we decided to fuck. 

We did and enjoyed it immensely. 

We've fucked each other on and off since then whenever 
we had the chance (not often enough!). We stopped almost 
3 years ago because we live so far away from each other. 

I ask him repeatedly if he ever regrets anything and he 
says no. The last time we had sex I told him we had to 
stop. (I was racked with guilt). I still fantasize about 
him and hope that we can fuck again. I've had the best 
orgasms with him! 

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 14

Of all the taboos in human society, incest may be the 
greatest.

No wonder, then, that it is also one of the best kept 
secrets....

We now know that incest is much more common than 
previously imagined. Many people first begin to 
fantasize sexually about family members. Cousins and 
siblings may help us explore another person's body for 
the first time.

I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact 
with a family member, and what impact that had on your 
lives. Perhaps it was successful; perhaps it was a bad 
memory best forgotten. The story doesn't have to be very 
long, or detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:

 ...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)

 ...at what age

 ...who initiated the activity, and

 ...how you feel about it now

I assure you, the confidentiality of any information 
provided will not be compromised. If you have a story 
you would like to share, please send mail to 
RankAmateur@WriteMe.com.

Here are a few of the stories I have received so far. 
Thank you.

[A bumper crop after 3 weeks of famine. Thanks, 
everyone! More stories in a few days. For now, one 
looooong one .... names changed to protect the not-so-
innocent, as you shall read.]

[Ed. personal note to Jeannie: please write.]

***

ME AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER
(mf, teen, incest, true)
By Jeannie

I'm glad I found this group on incest. I want to talk 
something out. I hope I got all that "mf, teen" etc. 
business right.

I also hope I don't screw up my anonymity. A friend at 
college set me up with the Private Idaho remailing 
program (I told him I wanted to send jokey messages to 
friends and play around in some newsgroups without 
collecting weird email). Private Idaho posted okay to 
alt.anonymous but not to alt.sex.incest. Too 
disreputable maybe.

So I borrowed a temporary AOL ID and am emailing my 
journal to [Ed. note: updated to reflect my new lifetime 
e-mail address] "RankAmateur@WriteMe.com" instead. 
"RankAmateur@WriteMe.com" posts true incest stories 
collected from others so I suppose I can trust him or 
her to protect my anonymity. I do want to post this. It 
represents quite a bit of effort (mostly enjoyable) to 
remember the details of some experiences I had with my 
brother a couple of years ago.

I will read anyone's comments but I won't be able to 
respond since I can't post to this group anonymously. 
Unless someone posts some instructions on how to do the 
truly anonymous posts that I see so many of here. Pls 
don't flame me; I'm not brain dead; and I'm willing to 
learn. I would like to be able to participate more 
directly if my journal sparks any comment.

[Anonymous posting used to be easy, with the 
anon.penet.fi service in Finland. Unfortunately, the 
Scientologists wanted to know one of the posters there, 
and brought suit in a Finnish court that ruled against 
the owner of that service. He shut down rather than put 
more users at risk of exposure. The next time you wonder 
where your privacy went, remember this: thank the 
Scientologists. Personally, I think they're assholes. -- 
Rank]

So here are my memories of my encounters with Ricky, in 
the form of a note I tried unsuccessfully to post using 
Private Idaho. I will trust "RankAmateur@WriteMe.com" to 
post my message unchanged and to honor my request for 
anonymity.

***

Most of the alt.sex.incest messages just seem to me like 
Huge Cock Meets Hungry Slut drools, and I've avoided the 
graphic files mostly. But to each his own. I'm in no 
position to judge others for what makes them excited, so 
long as they don't hurt others. Some messages here do 
seem real, for which I'm grateful, because I've needed 
for a couple of years to process some sexual encounters 
I had with my younger brother. 

I hope writing here will help me get a handle on these 
events. A friend who participates in several support 
groups (okay, I know that's not exactly what this place 
is) said I should tell some general stuff about myself 
so you have some idea of who you're sort-of-interacting 
with.

So here goes. My real first name is Jeanne (Je-Anne) but 
I go by Jeannie. I'm 19 and going to college "somewhere 
in the Midwest," as they say. (I don't want to get too 
specific.) My teachers tell me I have a good mind. 
Physically, I'm 5'6" in my shoes and a bit thin, with 
light brown hair that I hate to cut. I have greenish 
eyes and fairly regular features. 

I've been told by friends and by guys my own age that 
I'm good-looking, although my mirror tells me I'm not 
beautiful or stunning or anything like that. A boyfriend 
once said I look like a pixie, which he seemed to think 
was okay. I play tennis and swim a lot, so I'm fairly 
strong and don't have much body fat.

My personal behavior for the most part falls within the 
norm. I'm not a virgin but I've never been very active 
sexually, since AIDS scares me to death and I want to 
lead a good, reasonably long life. I do masturbate 
fairly often, at least several times a week. When I do, 
I'm usually thinking about my brother Ricky. That's what 
I need to write about.

Ricky (who lately prefers to be called Rich) is still at 
home finishing high school, a few hundred miles away. 
He's 17 now and a classic "nice kid," the sort that 
other boys' moms wish they had: stays out of trouble, 
plays sports, studies hard. He'll probably make it to 21 
without having to lie or answer "Yes" to any of those 
"have you ever...?" questions on application forms. 

He runs long-distance events in track and competes in 
school swimming and diving meets, so you can probably 
visualize the kind of long lean body he has. He would 
have no problem getting dates, but he's on the shy side. 
I hope someday he gets over that.

I also have a little sister Jody, 12, who wants to grow 
up like me for some reason. That's it for the family. 
Mom has dates sometimes, mostly with men from where she 
works, but there's nobody of the male persuasion steady 
in her life, at least not that I know of. Dad left our 
household years ago; he lives in California. 

I spent my last summer vacation and last year's school 
vacations with him and he wasn't drinking for the first 
time I can remember. He did go to a lot of AA meetings, 
which made me happy. He said he got a lot of stuff 
worked out in his life by writing about it after he got 
sober, which is one reason I'm writing this. I think I 
need to look at these memories.

The events I'm writing about happened a couple of years 
ago in late Spring. Ricky had just turned 15 and I had 
been 17 for a couple of months. Since I skipped a grade 
in grammar school, I was about to graduate early from 
high school, and was feeling very grown-up and mature, 
thank you very much.

A couple weeks before, Ricky had gotten into a losing 
argument with a car while riding his bicycle. It wasn't 
the driver's fault, since Ricky had just barreled out 
into the street in front of him at full tilt. The bike 
was killed dead, a total wreck. Ricky, luckily for him, 
only had his arms broken in a couple of places, plus a 
couple of ribs cracked and a collar bone broken. Plus 
some internal injuries that healed fairly quickly, and 
assorted deep bruises. He got out of it alive and 
without serious head or spinal injuries, was the main 
thing. But he was hurting.

When Ricky got home from the hospital he was all wrapped 
up in bandages across his chest and had immobilizing 
casts on both arms. They installed his poor injured 
carcass in a rented hospital bed in his room, all hooked 
up to ropes and pulleys that held his arms slightly 
elevated to accelerate healing, I guess. 

The poor kid was completely helpless and had to be taken 
care of by a nurse who came during the day, courtesy of 
the state government. She was a big, 50-ish, no-nonsense 
woman who looked like a prison guard. At night she went 
home to whoever loved her and Mom tended to Ricky's 
needs.

I guess that's a situation anyone can get used to in 
time, but I felt really sorry for Ricky, having to be 
fed and bathed and use a bedpan and everything. I just 
couldn't imagine having to use a bedpan. In a hospital 
room, with nurses to handle the details, maybe; but 
right there at home? With my own MOM wiping my butt and 
pulling my pants back up and emptying the bedpan and 
everything? It boggled my mind to think about it. 

Still does. (Well, after the first week or so Ricky was 
strong enough to get out of bed and walk to the toilet 
if someone unhooked the ropes for him, but he still 
needed help because he couldn't bend his arms. And he 
couldn't stay on his feet for long. Poor kid.)

Mom is tough, and smart too, and knew how to help Ricky 
feel better about it; or at least, he never complained. 
The nurse took care of the worst of the intimate details 
most of the time, so I guess it was workable. Mom pretty 
much kept me and Jody out of Ricky's room at first 
because he felt miserable and also, I suppose, he didn't 
feel like answering any embarrassing questions. 

By the second week we all sort of took everything for 
granted, and visited Ricky when he wasn't otherwise 
occupied and stayed out of the way when he needed 
privacy with Mom or the nurse.

In the second week after the accident, on a Friday night 
after Ricky's nurse had left, Mom got a panic night call 
from her job and had to go in to help fix problems with 
some sort of engineering proposal they were all excited 
about. She put me in charge of Ricky and Jody for the 
evening. We expected it wouldn't be a problem, since 
they were both asleep.

I was watching TV when I heard Ricky holler out for Mom, 
so I ran up to his room to see what he needed. He asked 
where Mom was and I told him, and he asked if I would 
mind getting him some toast with honey since he was 
hungry. I said sure, and went to get it.

When I got back he explained I needed to put a towel on 
his chest in case of spills because crumbs and such 
could get uncomfortable. So I pulled the blanket down to 
his waist and put a hand towel over his chest, put 
another pillow under his head to bring his head closer 
to upright, sat down on the bed by him and held the 
toast up to his mouth so he could take a bite. He was 
smiling at me as I did all this, which made me feel good 
since I always really liked Ricky. He was a super kid 
and a good younger brother.

We had a minor mishap when some honey dripped off the 
toast and started rolling down his cheek. I jerked the 
toast away so I could dab at his cheek with the towel, 
but that just made things worse -- the toast got away 
and landed the way Murphy's Law says it must, with the 
honey side down, half on Ricky's stomach and half on the 
blanket. Ricky started giggling out loud, so, since he 
wasn't wearing a shirt (the casts on his arms made him 
too hot if he wore one) I started tickling his sides, 
not too hard. Pretty soon honey had gotten pretty much 
all over.

Once we'd both calmed down a bit, I got a warm, wet 
washcloth and started washing him -- laving, as the old 
word goes -- from his chest bandage down to the top of 
his p.j. bottoms, wiping his stomach gently so as not to 
start him laughing again. Ricky had his eyes closed and 
was smiling, and I never felt so close to him as I did 
then. 

I just loved him to pieces. There wasn't any sexual 
component; it's just that seeing him smile like that, 
with his eyes closed, as I washed his body, made my 
heart full. Like I said, I have always liked Ricky.

When I pulled down the blanket in order to put a new 
(unhoneyed) one onto the bed, the sheet pulled down with 
it, so he was uncovered except by his pajama bottoms. 
When I glanced back up at him from where I was removing 
the sheet and blanket, something struck me as odd, and 
then I realized Ricky had an erection. 

It was raising the front of his p.j.'s so that its 
outline showed rather clearly from his crotch down along 
his left leg. I guess my mouth dropped open in surprise; 
I know my eyes widened and I just stared stupidly at the 
outline of his erect penis under the thin cloth of his 
pajamas. It's odd, but I remember an image flashed 
through my mind of his cute little thingie the last time 
I had seen it, when he was about 4 or 5 years old, and I 
thought how much bigger it was now. (Duh.)

I don't know how long I stared. Eventually he more or 
less cried out "Jeannie!" and raised up the knee nearest 
me. I tore my eyes away and looked up at his face. Poor 
Ricky -- he was mortified! His cheeks were bright red, 
and I think he might have given just about anything to 
be able to cover himself up at that point. But with his 
arms immobilized, of course all he could do was raise 
his knee and sort of point it away from me in order to 
hide himself. My heart went out to him. I had never 
meant to embarrass him.

"Ricky, it's okay," I told him. "I've seen pictures in 
sex-ed and you don't have anything to be ashamed of. I 
love you." Somewhere in there I started smiling at him. 
"You're beautiful. It's okay, you have a beautiful male 
body, and really it's okay."

"I can't help it," he told me. "It felt so good when you 
were washing me, and I've been like stuck here. Forever. 
I'm really sorry, Jeannie. I'm so sorry." I think he was 
about to cry.

Remember I'm not a very sexually active person, and at 
that time I was technically still a virgin. So this was 
unknown territory for me. Not that I was completely 
ignorant. I'd taken sex-ed (not much real knowledge 
there -- I guess we got the Baptist version). 

Also, the year before, at 16, I had gotten too hot and 
heavy for comfort with my boyfriend Tom in the back of 
his father's car a couple of times, me with my shirt 
unbuttoned and Tom groping me while I groped him back. 
One night I let him finger me between my legs until I 
had an orgasm. 

Then he told me he needed release also, or it would be 
physically painful for him, which was a new idea to me. 
But fair is fair, so I let him show me the right way to 
stroke his erection and I brought him to climax that 
way; he spurted semen all over himself and his shirt and 
the car seat. It was astonishing and a bit scary, how 
much fluid came jetting out of him. I could see how it 
might be painful for a boy to have to hold all that in.

When the spurting slowed down I let go of Tom's penis, 
but even so his semen got all over my hand and I had to 
wipe it off -- I used his jeans for that, hee hee. 
(Thank god for the sex-ed class, though -- I knew in 
general terms what was going on with him physically, so 
I didn't freak out. But I bet his poor old dad freaked 
the next day if he noticed the backseat in his car.)

Anyhow, after the second date in which we "got each 
other off" manually, I told Tom it made me nervous 
because I didn't want to go all the way with anyone yet, 
and I was afraid we would lose control. Tom respected my 
wishes, bless him. 

We still hugged and kissed, but we toned it down enough 
that such "heavy petting" (as they said in sex-ed) 
wasn't needed by him, or by me, anymore. We were still 
friends the last time I saw him, quite awhile ago -- 
platonic but intimate at the same time if you know what 
I mea n by that.

The point is that I did know what the male of the 
species sometimes needs for physical release and I had 
learned (twice, with a good friend) how to provide it. 
Ricky looked so miserable, and I was feeling such love 
for him, and I so wanted for him to understand that his 
feelings and his body really were okay, and I didn't 
think any the less of him.

All these feelings just sort of came together in my mind 
all at once very strongly, and while I held his gaze I 
sat down next to him, reached over his bent leg and 
cupped my hand over his erection. It had shrunk a bit in 
his embarrassment, I guess, but as I held it I felt it 
grow full again, and Ricky straightened out his knee. 
His cock sort of twitched irregularly, moving under my 
hand as I gently squeezed.

Ricky was looking seriously shocked, so I smiled and 
went, "Shhhh!"

God. After two years of keeping all this to myself it 
feels very strange to be writing it out in detail like 
this so others can read about it. Even more weird, it's 
making me feel itchy. Horny. This can't be normal, but 
I'm going to have to pull down my pants and relieve 
myself before I soak my clothes. Amazing.

Anyhow, to get on with it.

"Ricky," I told him as softly as I could so Jody 
wouldn't wake up, "this is a normal thing for a boy to 
feel. I know you need relief sometimes, and you can't do 
it for yourself right now. It must be very 
uncomfortable. But I know how to help you feel better. 
May I? Would you mind?"

While I babbled all that sex-ed-lecture type stuff he 
was watching me. His face looked very intense.

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked, and I smiled and 
nodded. "Oh, Jeannie, it's so great, I'm so frustrated, 
if you'd do that for me... are you sure?" He was 
babbling too.

I looked down at where I was gently kneading his rigid 
cock through his p.j.'s, and I think I caught my breath. 
There was a small, wet spot in the cloth, where the end 
of his cock was located. I looked up at him briefly -- 
he was watching me from between his suspended arms -- 
then hooked my hands over his p.j. bottoms at each side 
of his hips and pulled down on them. Ricky raised up 
slightly to help and I pulled his pajama bottoms down 
below his knees, leaning back to do so. 

Then I sat back up and reached over to touch him. His 
cock was standing up in the air, moving back and forth 
with his heartbeat, and I couldn't take my eyes away 
from it. He was absolutely gorgeous. And compelling. I 
was mesmerized.

The thing is, this wasn't a heavy grope session in the 
dark, in some boy's father's car at the end of a date. 
This was on top of a bed, with the light on, and no one 
else in the house but my sleeping little sister. Ricky's 
cock just looked incredibly beautiful to me -- longer 
than the width of my hand by a couple or three inches (I 
guess that made it about 6 inches long) and perfectly 
proportioned; maybe on the slim side compared to Tom, 
but that's how Ricky's whole body was built, so it 
seemed just right. 

It had veins sticking out on its surface and a reddish 
head on the end with just a hint of moisture around the 
small opening slit. It stood up there, waving around, 
and took my breath away.

I don't know if guys have any idea what power they have 
over females with that member of theirs, or maybe it's 
just me, but the effect of seeing Ricky's fully engorged 
penis -- his phallus -- was electric. It was as if all 
my circuits were suddenly running on double voltage. My 
breathing was out of control, my crotch was begging me 
to masturbate, and I was utterly enthralled.

I guess you can tell, the sight burned itself into my 
memory.

When I reached over to grasp Ricky's cock, my hand fit 
comfortably around it, overlapping a little. As I 
squeezed, it jerked against my hand, and when I stroked 
my hand upward toward the head the way Tom had taught 
me, moisture appeared at the end and spread downward to 
my fingers. I reached my left hand over to rub my finger 
around in it; it felt warm and slick. 

When I circled my fingertip around to the underside of 
his cock, where the head flared out slightly to the side 
and then swept up toward the slit at the end, Ricky 
groaned and hunched his hips up toward my hand. I could 
tell it felt very good to him; lord knows it was making 
my own world intense.

My hormones must have been in flood stage by then. I 
could see and pay attention to everything I did to 
Ricky, I could see the physical details of how he was 
built, how his testicles hung down against his crotch 
and where his butt started down below that, and I could 
see a sort of hint of his anus hidden away down there. 
Most of all, I could clearly see what happened when I 
did certain things to him, and all this made me a bit 
crazy. 

One time I glanced up to his face and saw Ricky gazing 
back down with his eyes half shut, watching the action, 
but I didn't look up long enough even to smile or 
anything. I just looked right back down at his 
wonderful, full cock and at what I was doing to it and 
how Ricky was responding.

"Jeannie, I'm getting close," he said (his voice was 
even a bit hoarse!) so I stroked my right hand up and 
down faster. Then, pausing but not letting go of him, I 
moved over on the bed so my left knee rested outside of 
his right leg and my right knee was between his legs. It 
gave me a more direct view of his cock and his testicle 
sack. Tim Allen says a guy's ball sack -- okay, his 
scrotum, but that's such an ugly word -- looks like 
leftover elbow skin, and it does, kind of, but it's 
awfully sexy just the same.

Anyway, I reached over with my left hand to lift his 
balls while I stroked his erection with my right, and 
the tips of my left hand fingers, pressing lightly 
against the skin behind where his ball sack joined his 
body, could feel his muscles contract every now and 
then. From this and from his hip action I figured he was 
about to let loose with his semen, like Tom had done. 

When I scratched lightly at the skin behind his balls he 
moaned softly, so I stroked up and down faster with my 
right hand and kept scratching lightly, up and down 
behind his ball sack, with my other hand. This provoked 
a more intense moan, and he started hunching his hips up 
and down. It was fascinating and wonderful to watch.

I guess it was too intense to last -- Ricky started to 
spurt, and I could feel each jet of semen moving against 
my fingers inside his cock (!), just before it pulsed 
out of the little slit on the end. My left hand fingers, 
resting against Ricky's crotch behind his balls, could 
feel the muscles there contract with each spurt. 

I hadn't noticed any of that with Tom, but then 
everything about this was different from anything 
before. By now I was moving my own hips back and forth, 
rubbing myself against Ricky's leg; it was so compulsive 
that it still makes me blush to recall. But I needed the 
release and had a little orgasm myself as Ricky shot out 
his semen.

He must have spurted strongly 4 or 5 times, not counting 
the little in-between "spurtlets." I can still see it 
clearly in my mind. His first really strong pulse was 
incredible -- it went clear up to his face, landed on 
his right cheek next to his nose, and left a glistening 
string of semen down over his lips and chin onto his 
chest bandages and the towel. As I continued stroking he 
kept spurting with decreasing energy until finally his 
penis started getting softer and smaller in my hand.

Unlike with Tom I didn't want to let go right away, but 
Ricky sort of pulled away, murmuring: "Too hard, 
Jeannie, take it easier," so I tried to make my hand 
motions less urgent. Guided by Ricky's hip movements and 
soft vocal sounds, I moved my hand against him gently 
until finally he lowered his hips all the way back down 
and I knew he was finished. 

This is how I learned it hurts a boy to stroke his penis 
too hard when he is almost done ejaculating, but feels 
good to him if you rub gently at the underside, jus t 
below the head. I guess the nerves there are 
concentrated but not oversensitive. Male physiology is 
very strange sometimes. Interesting, but strange.

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, 
Ricky," I told him, and meant it. "I love you." Then on 
impulse (and I guess a bit lewdly) I leaned up to kiss 
him on the mouth briefly, with my mouth slightly open so 
I could wipe my tongue over his mouth where his semen 
had landed. I just wanted to taste it for some reason. 

It tasted interesting and okay, a bit like raw shellfish 
but more subtle, I thought. I liked it. Or maybe what I 
liked was knowing where it came from and that I had 
caused it. Ricky-juice, courtesy of Jeannie. Anyhow, 
after I kissed him I used the towel to wipe up the rest 
of his semen. It had shot all over the place and had 
collected in little puddles here and there, mostly on 
his belly.

"Ricky, are you okay that I did that for you?" I asked 
him. I was a little worried and guilty, I mean incest is 
a strong taboo, but his eyes were wide open and steady, 
and he just gazed at me and nodded his head. I have 
always loved his steady gaze. "I'll come back and do it 
again if you want me to, until you get well," I told 
him.

"Jeannie, I love you. I really do," he said. I smiled at 
him and got up to warm the washcloth that had started 
all this, and washed him off again before pulling his 
p.j.'s back up. I put the new sheet and blanket over 
him, kissed him on the mouth again quickly, and left.

Did I mention this episode wasn't entirely noble of me? 
I ran back to my room, dropped my pants, lay down and 
rubbed myself to another orgasm, a big one that felt 
like it lasted about 10 minutes. God it was intense. The 
sight of that beautiful cock spurting semen all the way 
up to Ricky's face just wouldn't leave my mind, and I 
had to release my own energies several times more before 
I could even get to sleep that night.

The next morning was the same -- I masturbated to images 
of Ricky's erupting cock and memories of how his semen 
tasted as soon as I woke up, and since it was a 
Saturday, I repeated the process two or three times 
during the day, just about every time I went to the 
bathroom, in fact. I just couldn't seem to get over it.

That night, Mom went to bed early and Jody stayed over 
at a friend's house, so about a half hour after the 
house went dark I snuck into Ricky's room again.

"Ricky," I whispered.

"Yeah, hi Jeannie," he whispered back.

"Would you like me to do it for you again? Would you 
mind? I really want to," I whispered, and sat down on 
the bed by him. I guess I was past trying to be subtle 
or act noble about it -- I just wanted a repeat of the 
night before!

"Jeannie, I was scared you wouldn't want to anymore. I 
was afraid you would hate yourself. Or hate me. Or wish 
it had never happened." He sounded very tense, so I 
smiled and rested my hand on his stomach, on top of the 
blanket. "I would do anything not to hurt you," he told 
me, "but you can't know how much it meant to me. It felt 
so good and I'm so alone in here. I love you so much."

He was starting to babble again, but I didn't mind. I 
just moved my hand around in circles on his stomach and 
watched his face. He may be my brother, but at that 
moment, in the shadowy light from the street outside, he 
looked more beautiful to me than any human has a right 
to be, with eagerness and fear and a shy smile chasing 
each other across his face. I simply loved him. Totally.

"If you don't really want to that's alright. But if 
you're okay with it, if you're sure -- I would love it," 
he whispered. "I love you, Jeannie" he added, and I'm 
sure he meant it, because I loved him at that moment 
too, and I told him so. There was something wonderful 
about the trust and intimacy of it.

I got up and locked his door (we all got door locks as 
kids as soon as we could be trusted not to lock 
ourselves in by accident -- it was Mom's statement of 
respect for our privacy). Then I switched on his reading 
lamp so I could see him better. He was watching me, his 
eyes glistening. I could hear him breathing faster, and 
I guess I was puffing a bit, too.

Gazing at his face, I squatted down by the bed and 
reached my arm down under the blanket to his p.j. 
bottoms, then under the elastic and down to his penis. 
It was already hard, so I reached under it and sort of 
flipped it over, so it lay up along his stomach, and 
stroked it gently up and down, putting light pressure on 
the underside of it. 

When he sighed, I leaned up under his elevated arm and 
kissed him on his mouth. His lips were open so I opened 
mine too, and his tongue strayed hesitantly into my 
mouth. I played my own tongue against his, and it turned 
into a deep, lingering kiss as I rubbed his cock under 
the covers. It was very intense.

When we broke the kiss, I whispered, "I want to see 
you," and moved to pull down the blanket and sheet. I 
then pulled his pajamas down; as before, he raised his 
hips to help. Once again I was treated to the sight of 
his erect cock standing up, pulsing in time to his 
heartbeat. And again it was a powerful and beautiful 
sight.

I moved onto the bed and knelt below his crotch, this 
time with both knees between his legs. This forced his 
legs farther apart than they had been the previous night 
and I had a better view of his physiology as I stroked 
him. When he raised his knees a little and moved them 
farther apart, it was even better. I was fascinated at 
the way his crotch pulsed just before I felt his cock 
move in my hand and a little bit of fluid would dribble 
out -- but not really dribble, more like just moisture 
spreading from the end.

I reached over with my left hand to rub the liquid into 
his skin on the underside, where the head joined the 
main body of it, the upper shaft, where the night before 
I had learned he was sensitive. He moaned softly at 
that, and the sound felt so energizing and intense I 
could hardly stand it. 

On impulse, I leaned over and licked the underside of 
his cock, starting down by his balls and moving up to 
the head. It tasted strongly of his semen up by the 
head, a bit less neutral than I remembered from the 
previous night, somewhat saltier. First drops, I 
suppose. Delicious.

"My god, Jeannie - oh my god, that feels good," he 
moaned. So I moved my right hand down to the base of his 
cock, lifted his balls with my left hand, and took his 
cock right into my mouth. It was the first time I had 
ever done that. All I had ever heard about it was a few 
giggling remarks about "eating" from my girl friends and 
a mention or two of oral sex in sex-ed class. I don't 
even know why I did it.

But I did do it, and I liked it. Boys can't know the 
delicious, sinful sense of power a girl can get from 
running her mouth up and down on a hard cock, knowing 
she is in control, knowing that the tube of hard-but-
soft flesh in her mouth is concentrating the boy's every 
sensation into a final explosion, and she is the cause 
of it. I doubt if even gay males can share that feeling 
since they have the same physiology as their partner. As 
a female I got a sense of control over powerful but 
dimly understood force s that made my blood race. It was 
my first experience of that exhilaration.

As Ricky's cock throbbed in my mouth he started hunching 
his hips up at my face. I removed my right hand from his 
cock and put it down on the bed by his hip so I could 
put my weight on it and move my head up and over his 
cock more. By raising my body and then lowering my head 
so my hair fell down on his stomach, I could take as 
much of him into my mouth as possible without physical 
discomfort. I think I took most of him in, right into my 
throat, and it didn't even choke me, I was so excited! 

Then he started to spurt, once again in a series of 
powerful jets that this time I felt against the back of 
my throat. There was a kind of vibration to it as the 
fluid spurted out against my tissues. As this happened, 
Ricky was hunching his cock up and down in my mouth so I 
kept my head still and just circled my tongue against 
the underside of his cock as he moved, to let him pace 
his own release. 

I guess about a quarter cup of his semen must have gone 
down my throat as I kept swallowing while he gushed. He 
was groaning and saying my name over and over. It was 
wonderful.

As his ejaculation finished, his cock shrank and I had 
him entirely inside my mouth. I moved my tongue around 
on the underside gently while I scratched around some 
more, lightly, behind his balls. This provoked more 
twitching inside my mouth as he hunched his hips up at 
me, though I don't know if any more semen came out or if 
it was just residual feel-goods. I never have figured 
that out. Anyhow, his cock finally stopped twitching. 

I held him against the roof of my mouth with my tongue 
for awhile longer, until I was sure he had finished, 
then I removed his cute little soft penis from my mouth, 
kissed its head, pulled up his p.j.'s, covered him with 
a blanket, whispered, "I have to go now," and hurried 
out of the room.

Where I went was to my own room for a series of crashing 
orgasms while I fingered and manipulated and rubbed 
myself, sometimes in ways I had never tried before -- I 
even put a finger up my own butt during one climax. I 
was quite shameless. It was terrific.

For the next few weeks, until his casts came off, I went 
into Ricky's room almost every night after everyone else 
was asleep. Sometimes I used my hands on him but more 
often I used my mouth; each time, I drained him of semen 
and then ran back to my room to, let's say, watch an 
instant replay in my mind as I released my own pent-up 
energies. Some of those encounters were memorable.

One time I got back late from a school dance and Ricky 
was already asleep when I went in. I snuck my head and 
arms under the covers, carefully maneuvered his soft 
penis through the opening in the front of his pajamas, 
put it into my mouth and gently sucked on it. 

The sensation woke Ricky up, and it thrilled me to feel 
how quickly he went from soft to hard, right there 
inside my mouth. Maybe because of the surprise, he 
lasted longer than usual that night, building gradually 
to his climax without any wild hum ping or such; he just 
let me control the pace. I loved it.

There is no way I can fool myself into thinking I did 
that to Ricky as he slept in order to help him meet an 
immediate physical need. He was fast asleep. I did it 
because I loved it, and I loved him, and he loved to 
have me do it. I remember looking up at his face while I 
bobbed my head up and down on him and licked around the 
base of his balls and suckled at him -- I did pretty 
much everything I could think of, in fact, while I 
watched his face -- and he watched me back with his eyes 
half shut and a tender smile on his face. 

Since he was being so passive, I dragged things out as 
long as I could, until finally I was the one who 
couldn't stand it anymore. Then I triggered his orgasm 
by moving my mouth up and down on him faster and 
scratching lightly between his legs from the base of his 
balls back to his anus. Touching his anus popped him off 
like a rocket, I remember: He made a strangled moaning 
sound and started humping wildly up at me and jetting 
his semen into my throat. I drank him down and ran to my 
room for a mental replay.

Another time, at his request, I got completely naked and 
let him look at my body. He said I was beautiful, and 
for that moment I did feel beautiful, but also shy for 
some reason. He liked my boobs a lot, although they are 
not very big. I showed him how my nipples get hard when 
I stroke and pull on them, and then I straddled his 
chest, kneeling, and parted myself with my fingers so he 
could see how I'm built sexually. 

My clitoris was swelling right out there wanting 
attention, and when I pointed it out he said it looked 
like a little excited nubbin. I put a finger up into my 
vagina so he could see how slick and wet it gets inside 
of me. (Yes, I was very turned on.) I let him lick and 
suck my finger after, which he was eager to do! Finally, 
I stroked myself to an intense orgasm while he watched. 

His eyes were wide, his head was up off the pillow, and 
I don't think he blinked the whole time. Yow, did I 
erupt! With his arms up on ropes, watching was about all 
the participation he could manage -- other than letting 
me take care of his physical needs afterwards. It made 
him incredibly excited.

After I stroked myself to climax right in front of his 
face, I scooted down on the bed to take him into my 
mouth, and he started spurting just about as soon as I 
closed my mouth around him. It felt like he gushed half 
a cup of semen down my throat that time! I only got 
naked for him the one time, though, because I was afraid 
Mom might wake up and knock at the door, and also, like 
I said, it made me feel self conscious.

After Ricky's casts came off he invited me into his room 
again one night but I told him he could take care of his 
own needs now. I told him when we both got older and 
knew more, we might decide to make love again, but for 
now we had better stop. 

He never pushed me about it, though he always had a 
smile ready when I looked his way or smiled at him. At 
the end of that school year I graduated and went on to 
college early for Summer session. (I had to earn a 
scholarship to go to college, and I take it very 
seriously.)

I'm on the pill now, and have "gone all the way" with 
several very nice guys; but for excitement I'm afraid 
they were nothing to write about, even though they were 
all built bigger than Ricky in the cock department. Of 
course, Ricky was barely 15, so who knows if he was 
finished growing yet, down there... Ultimately, and I 
know this is a cliche, but it's true -- I really don't 
care whether Ricky's cock has grown larger over the last 
few years. 

He was beautiful just the way he was, and that's what I 
want to remember. I don't think I'd like it much if he 
grew a gargantuan, swollen, outlandish member like some 
kind of primitive carved potency fetish. To borrow a 
metaphor I saw used here, I'll leave the horses to other 
horses. (Or is that a simile?)

Anyhow, when I go home for Thanksgiving at the end of 
next week I guess I will offer to renew my physical 
acquaintance with Ricky -- I mean with Rich; the name 
change will take some getting used to -- if I can do it 
without damaging him emotionally. 

I know the experience won't hurt me. Reliving those 
early sexual contacts in this note has reminded me that 
I got as much out of it as he did, and I suspect getting 
physical again now that he can participate fully should 
either let us both achieve closure or give us something 
wonderful to guard and treasure and use carefully into 
the future.

Wow. I just realized how important that is, the fact 
that I trust him to be as careful with me as I will be 
with him. I actually trust him completely. I saw trust 
mentioned in someone else's note on the subject of 
incest, but the importance of it just now sank in. 
Trust, and love, and acceptance.

Now I really do want to find out if Ricky, I mean Rich, 
wants to give it another go. I guess I'll try to get him 
alone long enough to let it happen if it wants to. When 
I get back here to school after Thanksgiving I'll write 
again to tell how it comes out. (Assuming I don't lose 
my courage and wuss out.) Now I have to go relieve some 
physical stresses of my own while thinking about Ricky. 
About Rich. Wow. I'm absolutely soaked again.

Hoping broken taboos won't cause pain --

Jeannie (19 and finally ready to experiment a little 
further)

***

If you have an incest experience you would like to 
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@WriteMe.com. 
Anonymity guaranteed.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Men sometimes grow up with an 
underwear fetish because they played with their mother's 
or sister's lingerie. Did you ever get into that? What 
were your feelings about it? Was incest a part of your 
fantasies?

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 15

Though incest is among society's strongest taboos, 
statistics show a lot of us have done it -- or are doing 
it. Whether as part of mutual exploration, seduction, or 
even abuse, incest creates enduring memories with 
emotional and erotic impact. This digest is one way of 
discussing and illuminating this subject. Plus, the 
stories are fun to share!

If you have an incest experience you would like to 
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@WriteMe.com. 
Anonymity guaranteed.

Many of you enjoyed part 1 of Jeannie's story last 
issue.

Here is her follow-up. Jeannie, you are one *hot* 
writer! >kiss<

[personal to Jeannie: please write.]

***

From:	"Jeannie"

(mf, teen, cons, incest, true)

Well, I'm back from Thanksgiving at home and I kept my 
promise to myself -- I told my younger brother Rich (not 
Ricky anymore) I would like to make love to him again if 
he also wanted to. When I got back to school I found a 
couple of notes asking me to post how it all worked out, 
so here is a journal. It's long -- everything's so fresh 
in my memory that lots of words came out. I hope no one 
minds.

Here's a little intro. Approaching Rich after more than 
two years turned out to be very scary. It took time to 
find the right chance and I almost chickened out 
completely. My fear was rather extreme.

For the record, I'm glad I did finally approach him and 
I'm glad I resisted my fears, which had me convinced it 
was all a huge mistake and I'd better rethink. What if 
he freaks and tells someone? What right do I have to put 
that kind of pressure on Rich? What if the whole idea 
turns his stomach because he's become gay? What if I 
caused it by getting so oral with him before? Yada yada 
yada. 

It turned out Rich wanted me as much as I did him and my 
fear just evaporated. No doubt we'll run into 
complications eventually, but nothing's free. We'll just 
have to be careful.

In case you missed my last note, I'm a 19-year-old 
college student who had a series of sexual encounters 
with my younger brother two and a half years ago. He was 
barely 15 and was stuck at home in a hospital bed after 
a bicycle accident. I was 17. One night I accidentally 
caught him with an erection and he got miserably 
embarrassed. Being all tied up in casts, ropes and 
pulleys, he couldn't do anything about it, so I relieved 
him myself, by hand. He needed the release and I wanted 
him to know I loved him even if his male body made 
unreasonable demands; he didn't have to curl up and die 
just because I had seen his erect penis. 

It was a very rash, spur-of-the-moment thing, but I 
found I liked it and one thing quickly led to another. 
Until they took the rigid casts off his arms I used my 
hands or my mouth on him almost every night to give him 
sexual release. Once the casts came off and he could 
take care of his own needs, we stopped.

That's kind of a summary of my earlier note. While 
writing it I decided to ask Rich this Thanksgiving 
holiday if he wanted to make love. So I did, and he did, 
and we did, and I'm glad.

So here's "What I Did for Thanksgiving Vacation," may it 
never fall into the delicate hands of Mrs. R., my fourth 
grade teacher. Then again Rich and I are widely 
considered to be "good kids," so I guess you can never 
tell...

- "J."


Once I had made up my mind to actually approach Rich, I 
got so sunk into the idea I was useless at school, 
spending all my mental time in bed with him, going 
around dreamy, moonstruck, fantasizing about Rich loving 
me back instead of just being passive like he had to be 
the first time. I guess writing about our incest made me 
obsessive or something. 

Whatever, I needed to deal with it and find closure one 
way or another. I arranged to do some make-up work in my 
only two classes that aren't near-automatic A's and 
headed home the Thursday night before official T'giving 
break began.

My kid brother was very much on my mind when I got home, 
but it was after 2 a.m. so I just snuck up to my old 
room (now a generic spare room) and fell asleep. The 
next morning when I saw Rich at breakfast I immediately 
chickened out. He may be my kid brother, but at 17 Rich 
stands a good 6 or 7 inches taller than I do (I'm 5'6 in 
my shoes) and he's gained quite a bit of muscle around 
his shoulders. 

He still has the long, slim build of a runner and 
swimmer (I'm on the thin side too), but he's not 
physically a kid anymore. It didn't feel like I had the 
advantage of being his older sibling. And he didn't have 
his arms in casts either.

How about that? In wussing out, I discovered one of the 
things I liked about our previous encounters was that he 
was helpless and younger than me. With Rich immobilized 
I could let myself go completely. Now I was afraid I 
couldn't do that anymore. Not to mention, this time 
there would be absolutely nothing accidental about it. 

Frankly, Rich attracted me so strongly I didn't feel 
secure about his being my brother instead of a "love 
interest," if you see what I mean. Add to that a strong 
fear of rejection, betrayal or discovery, and I was 
ready to bolt. Scary.

There it stood the first day of my visit and much of the 
next, with me afraid to say anything and wondering if 
even thinking about it meant I was sick in the head. As 
always, Rich had a smile ready whenever I glanced over 
or smiled at him, a complete gentleman. I don't think he 
had any idea of what I'd come home ready -- or maybe 
unready -- to do, or the insane levels my hormones were 
reaching as I watched him move around like some young 
athlete. 

On Saturday afternoon, Mom and my younger sister Jody, 
who turned 13 the week before, went to a double-feature 
movie. I begged off on grounds of holiday homework. Rich 
said he didn't feel like getting stuck at the mall with 
his mom and sister for hours after the movie. Jodie 
stuck out her tongue, Mom and Jody left, and we he had 
the house to ourselves for at least the next 4 or 5 
hours, counting mall time. 

I knew if I put off talking to Rich I probably never 
would find the courage. Maybe I was just scared of how I 
would feel if I let this chance slide by, but whatever 
the reason, I decided I'd better do something while I 
had some backbone.

Rich was in the living room watching TV, so I went in 
and sat by him on the couch -- a decent distance away, 
of course, not physically touching or anything crass 
like that. He smiled over at me, and I bit my lip and 
just looked at him.

"What," he said, frowning a little. He cocks his head 
when he's puzzled, which I think is really cute even if 
it's supposed to be a girl's posture. Like playing with 
your hair. God he's cute. This is wrong. I can't do 
this. I have to do this. Yada yada.

Take the plunge. "Rich -- remember when you were laid up 
in bed?"

My heart was racing -- I'm not kidding about the fear.

He let out a long breath. "Jeannie, how could I forget? 
It was the only good thing that happened." (The quote is 
approximate, but close.) I remember he paused a moment, 
looking at me. "I always wondered if you had regrets 
for... what we did." 

"No. No regrets ever. Not for myself," I told him. "But 
I was afraid it might have hurt you. You know. 
Emotionally or something."

"Are you kidding? It just made me love you more." He 
leaned toward me with an intent look. "Jeannie, I 
completely love you. All my heart. Nobody had better 
ever hurt you. I mean that." (That is an accurate quote. 
It's tucked away in my memory, in the place where I keep 
my treasures.)

He was watching me with that open, direct gaze of his 
and started to reach toward me, but pulled his hand back 
like he couldn't make up his mind. Maybe I flinched when 
he moved his hand, I don't know; certainly I felt jumpy. 
I didn't say anything, couldn't even think, much less 
talk. I just watched him and bit my lower lip some more. 
Rich tells me I usually do that when I'm feeling 
uncertain or scared. Finally he asked, "Do you want to 
talk about it?" 

"Yes, I think I need to," I told him, and couldn't help 
looking down at my lap. I suppose my face was red. "It'd 
sure help if you would hug me. Just hold me for a 
second. I need you to hold me." 

My voice kept getting smaller and I guess it was obvious 
I was scared. It sure wasn't the cheerful, fearless 
"Wanna try it again, bubba?" kind of approach that I'd 
fantasized pulling off. Bless him, Rich just stood up in 
front of me without another word and held out his hands. 
I grabbed them and he pulled me to my feet, then put his 
arms around me and held me against his body. I put my 
own arms around him and hugged back. Actually, it felt 
more like hanging on for dear life. 

After a deep breath and a couple of still moments, it 
started to feel like I might melt into him. I guess if 
someone had seen us we would have looked pretty glued 
together. I remember my cheek was pressed against his 
chest and I could hear his heart beating -- it was going 
fast, like mine. His chest and stomach felt hard and 
solid against my front and I could feel him stirring 
against my lower stomach, where I was pressed against 
him. Where his legs began. Okay, his crotch. 

I was pressed against his crotch and he was stirring 
there, and my own "down there" parts did some stirring 
of their own, so to speak. But I was still scared; I 
mean, this was far gone beyond the norm.

Rich kissed the top of my head and said in a low voice, 
"Jeannie, tell me. Just say it. Whatever it is."

He was making my knees weak. Weird experience -- it was 
like they wanted to buckle, and I was just hanging on 
tight.

I looked up to his face. "Rich, can you forgive me? I 
don't want to stop," I told him. "I want to make love to 
you again. I want you to make love to me. You don't have 
to. It's wrong I guess. I don't want you to get hurt. Or 
Mom. But I don't want to leave things where they are. I 
keep thinking about it. About you. I need to know." I 
was babbling and didn't know how to stop. 

Rich solved my problem by leaning his head down to kiss 
me on the mouth, His lips were slightly open so I opened 
my own, and his tongue brushed lightly against my lips, 
then probed into my mouth where I met it with my own 
very willing tongue. He held me in a long, deep kiss and 
as we kissed I felt his hands stroking my back, up and 
down. I pressed every inch of myself against him, tried 
to wriggle even closer. He felt lovely and solid -- and 
safe.

When we broke the kiss he held me for a moment, then 
said, "Let's go to my room," and led me up the stairs, 
holding my hand. At that moment I would have followed 
him anywhere, done anything.

When we got to his room he paused to lock the door (we 
all got door locks as kids, out of respect for privacy), 
then turned and took my hands. I guess we were about a 
foot apart, and I couldn't stop looking into his eyes. I 
was sinking in them.

"Jeannie, are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. 
Oops. Wrong question. I didn't know what I wanted at 
that moment. I wasn't in charge anymore. I didn't want 
to decide anything. Damn.

"Don't you?" I asked. I could barely hear my own voice. 
Inwardly, I was cursing my recklessness and my cowardice 
at the same moment.

"More than anything," he said, and drew me toward him. 
It was a wonderful moment but I don't know how to 
describe the emotions that swirled around inside me. 
Relief, gladness... nothing sounds right. I don't know 
how to say it. Like something had whooshed out that I 
didn't even know I had inside. (Sounds like gas.) 

Anyhow, when Rich leaned in to kiss me I expected him to 
put his arms around me but instead he let go of my hands 
and I felt him start to unbutton my shirt. I was wearing 
an old chambray work shirt and realized I was not 
wearing a bra -- my boobs aren't big enough to really 
need the support so I often choose comfort. 

Now I was self-conscious. Like he might think I'd 
planned it all out. Jeannie the slut, bring on the track 
team. Damn. Stop that. Shut up. Let it happen. All this 
noise kept going through my head, but Rich just kept 
kissing me and unbuttoning my shirt.

When we came up for air he glanced down at what he was 
doing and I could tell when he realized I had no bra 
because he took a quick little breath of his own, then 
looked back up at my face with his eyes kind of wide. I 
smiled at him, or tried to, and realized I was biting my 
lip again. I felt very awkward. He leaned forward to 
kiss me again gently, then ran one finger down my front, 
tracing a light path on my skin down between my boobs 
and on down my stomach to the last two buttons still 
holding my shirt closed, and quickly undid them. 

We hadn't said a word and I don't know why I remember 
that sequence so well. Maybe because Rich didn't say 
anything? It felt like he accepted me the way I am and 
didn't pass judgment. It made me feel safe. I shut my 
eyes and finally was able to totally sink into the 
moment.

Have I mentioned how much I love this brother of mine?

When my shirt fell open Rich raised his hands to my 
breasts and started stroking them, gently tugging and 
manipulating my nipples the way I had shown him just 
once before, the one time I had gotten completely naked 
for him when I was taking care of his needs, while he 
was laid up. My nipples popped out so hard I think they 
tried to jump right off my boobs. Not to mention that 
direct connection between my nips and my crotch. Phew! I 
don't even remember where my hands were at that point -- 
maybe just hanging down at my sides. Rich had all my 
attention elsewhere and was compounding my interest with 
another deep, lingering kiss.

Then he leaned forward to whisper, "I want to undress 
you. I want to do you the way you used to do me. I love 
you, Jeannie."

I didn't need to hear the "magic words," but they are 
always nice when you know the other person means them. 
All I could do was whisper back, "Oh yesss..." or 
something like that. Or maybe I just nodded; I'm not 
sure. It didn't matter. I wasn't in charge.

Rich bent down and picked me up like I didn't weigh 
anything, with one arm under my knees and the other 
supporting my back, right against my skin below where my 
shirt hung down from my shoulders. He was in a tee shirt 
and I can still feel his arm against me when I think 
about it. His left hand curved up against my side to 
hold me secure from falling and his fingers just touched 
the side of my breast. 

It felt like a promise. A psych professor of mine said 
when you vividly remember a touch or a movement, it 
means the memory goes bone-deep because those are the 
hardest senses to fool or to make hallucinate. Rich's 
arm supporting my back, pressed against my naked skin, 
his hand curved up against my side, the cool air against 
my breasts and nipples -- these memories are so vivid I 
can close my eyes and be there again.

After picking me up Rich walked over to the bed with me; 
I dropped my shirt to the floor and he put me gently 
down. When I scooted over to make room, instead of lying 
down with me as I expected he sat next to me on the bed, 
looked at me a moment, and bent down to fasten his mouth 
to my boob. He cupped it with both hands while he sucked 
and licked my nipple, then moved one hand over to caress 
the other one too. He was making me a little dizzy.

After a few moments he rested his cheek against my chest 
right below my breasts and looked up at me. "I dreamed 
about this, you know," he said. "I never stopped 
dreaming about you." I keep that with my treasures too.

Then he went back to my breasts, paying attention first 
to one and then the other, and I discovered how 
wonderful it feels to lie passively on a bed and just 
soak up the sensations given by a lover. None of the 
three boys I had bedded at college ever did this for me! 
But there was nothing inept or impatient about Rich. As 
he kissed and nibbled at me he stroked his right hand 
down onto my stomach, moving his hand in circular 
motions. 

The tops of his fingers went just under the top of my 
Levis at the bottom o f the circles and I hoped he would 
go further soon. But I let him take the lead and just 
closed my eyes and stroked his head and occasionally 
went "Mmmmm" or said his name at a sweet moment. Mmmmm. 
Still vivid.

Then his mouth left my breast and I felt him moving down 
on the bed, so I opened my eyes to see. He was down 
there fumbling around with the top button on my Levis. I 
reached down to help him, but he tilted his hand up to 
block me.

"No fair," he told me. "It's my turn. You lie back. Let 
me try to give you the same magic you gave me." 

He moved my hands onto my stomach and went back to 
fumbling at my top button so I moved my hands up by my 
head, palms up, surrendering to him, and watched him 
work. It struck me that Rich was still completely 
dressed -- he even had his sneakers on. Not too 
romantic! But I figured he was in charge and if he 
wanted to -- excuse me -- fuck with his shoes on, so be 
it. But it would be hard to do that with his pants on. I 
was curious about what he intended. 

Once he had my Levis unfastened, he hooked his hands 
over them at my hips and tugged downward. I raised my 
hips to help him, as he had done for me more than once, 
and he slid my pants down below my knees. Then he moved 
farther down and took off my shoes -- I was glad I was 
just wearing slip-ons -- and pulled my pants the rest of 
the way off. 

So there I was, lying nude on the bed except for my 
panties, and I'm sure they were getting very soaked in 
the crotch. (Just as mine are now, from telling this! 
While writing my previous note I had to stop twice to 
masturbate, and now the urge is building again. Maybe 
that makes me an exhibitionist, or am I a voyeur on my 
own life? I don't know.)

Anyway, getting on with it...

While I lay there almost naked, Rich moved back up to my 
middle and sat by my hips, and just looked down at me. I 
still had my hands on the pillow by my head and was open 
to whatever he wanted. I guess what he wanted was to sit 
and just look at me for awhile. 

He moved his eyes from my head down to my feet and back 
up to my face, stopping here and there in between to 
gaze at various parts of me. It felt like a very 
intimate caress. I couldn't believe how stirred up I was 
getting.

"Rich," I finally said, "aren't you going to undress?"

"Shhh," he said, and leaned over to kiss me again 
briefly, then bent to suck at my nipple again -- yow! 
The connection to my crotch was getting electric. I 
might have moaned that time.

He broke off long enough to take off his shoes and 
socks, which for some absurd reason made me feel 
grateful, I'm not sure why. Of course once his shoes 
were off he stopped undressing and went back to kissing 
and sucking at my breasts. I didn't really mind; in fact 
I loved him doing that. He lingered, paying attention 
back and forth, and I'd not have complained if he'd kept 
it up for hours.

"God, you're beautiful, Jeannie," he finally said, 
pressing his cheek against my upper stomach. When I 
opened my eyes to look down I realized I had lowered one 
of my hands to stroke his head as he suckled at me. I 
had to smile, he looked so sweet. 

Since I was on my back my boobs only swelled up a little 
bit, but my nipples stood straight up! The whole area 
around my nips kind of glistened from the moisture of 
his kissing and licking. His gaze was roaming from my 
breasts to my face and back again, and he had his eyes 
half closed. He looked insanely sexy.

"How can you be so beautiful?" he asked, and started 
kissing his way down my chest and stomach. I said 
before, I'm not beautiful, just fairly fat-free. Not 
everyone is even attracted to that kind of body. Rich 
always makes me feel beautiful, though. I guess beauty 
must really be in the eye of the beholder, dumb as that 
sounds.

While he kissed his way down my front, he kept stroking 
my breasts, keeping my nipples erect, until he got to my 
lower stomach and the top of my panties. I was ready to 
have him tear them right off me, but instead he skipped 
down to my legs and, when I moved my knees apart a 
little, he started licking and kissing toward the 
insides of my thighs by my crotch. 

This prompted me to move my legs apart still farther and 
then I felt his tongue insinuate itself under the loose 
elastic around my leg, not much, but enough that his 
tongue was actually on my crotch, inside my panties! You 
bet that earned a moan or two. Then he pulled aside my 
soaked panties and started kissing and licking my actual 
sexual parts and I couldn't help it, I hunched up at his 
face, even though he hadn't gotten anywhere near my 
clitoris. I simply felt ready to explode.

Maybe because my hips were off the bed, he finally 
tugged down at my panties. I kept my hips up to help him 
and he moved down to the bottom of the bed again to pull 
my panties the rest of the way off. I know I was soaked, 
because when I lowered my butt and lifted my knees and 
feet to help him finish getting me naked, the air felt 
cool against the moisture at my crotch. 

Once my panties were off, Rich moved my feet apart with 
his hands and got back onto the bed, kneeling between my 
legs just as I had once done with him. When he said he 
wanted to "do" me the way I had "done" him, he wasn't 
kidding. 

I was like my old Gumby toy: he could bend me any way he 
wanted. He slowly moved upwards, pushing my legs farther 
apart with his hands, stroking lightly upwards on my 
inner thighs, moving his eyes the whole time up and down 
my body, from between my legs to my face and back down 
to my thighs, with stops between. It was absolutely a 
caress; it gave me goosebumps. I remember feeling a drop 
of fluid roll from somewhere in my crotch down my butt 
about then. It tickled a bit. I guess I was gushing 
sexual fluids. Rich has that effect on me.

When my legs were far enough apart to suit him, he 
leaned down and kissed and licked me all over the 
outside of my sex while he moved his hands up to my 
breasts and resumed playing with my nipples. I lay there 
passively but my breathing was getting ragged.

Still, incredibly, I hadn't climaxed. His tongue on my 
sex felt good but didn't especially heighten my senses, 
though of course I enjoyed the sensations. But then he 
moved his hands back down to spread my labia and probed 
his strong tongue directly inside, into my vagina. 

I could hear myself going "Unnnnhhh..." -- not very 
original, I know -- as I hunched my center up at him 
again. God it was intense, his tongue moving around at 
the entrance to me like that. Then, slowly, still 
holding my labia apart, he moved his tongue up my sexual 
slit to wriggle against my clitoris, and I went off like 
a stick of dynamite. BOOM! Boom, boom! BOOM!!

"Oh god, Rich!" I remember crying out, among other 
things, as the wave crested, subsided, rose and crested 
again. Still he didn't stop but kept stroking the flat 
of his tongue lightly up and down and around on my 
clitoris and the areas around it. 

He just didn't stop, and neither it seems could I. When 
I started to lower my hips at what I thought was the 
end, he put a finger up inside me ("Unnnnnnhhh...") and 
up went my hips again as he licked and sucked and 
fluttered his tongue around my clitoris. To my surprise, 
I quickly built up toward yet another orgasm! Soon I was 
so hunched up toward his face that I suppose not too 
much of me touched the bed, and ("Unngggg...!") here 
came another explosion. 

While it happened Rich was pushing his finger in and out 
of me, licking and fluttering his tongue at my sexual 
center, and I swear he turned my world upside down. 
Phew. And I hadn't even touched him intimately yet. 
Touched him? I hadn't caught my breath. He still had his 
clothes on, for god's sake!

At that point Rich took his hands away from my sex -- 
okay, my cunt -- I don't like that word -- anyway he 
stroked his hands up my stomach to my breasts. He was 
looking up my body at me, his mouth and chin and cheeks 
shining in the light where he'd gotten my fluids all 
over himself. At some point I remembered to breathe 
again.

"God, Rich," I said, "no one ever did that to me. I 
didn't know it could feel like that." It was true. I'd 
never been so completely out of control with anyone. I 
felt like whimpering. "God you look sexy," I added. It 
was an afterthought.

"I'm glad," he said, and moved back up to lie next to 
me. He reached down to cup his hand over my crotch where 
I still tingled from what he had done. I leaned over to 
kiss his darling wet mouth and got my first taste of my 
own juices. They didn't taste like much, but knowing 
they were there made the kiss feel special. 

I kept my legs slightly apart so he could squeeze and 
stroke and explore me down there with his hand. It felt 
good, and I was quickly wet again. When we broke the 
kiss he bent to suck at my nipple again. I stroked his 
head. Except for his shoes, he was still dressed.

"Rich," I asked him, "please get undressed and hold me. 
I want to hold you. Please."

"Anything," he said, and smiled, and got up to undress. 
He took his time, which made it very sexy. As he 
unpeeled his clothes I realized his body was just as 
beautiful as I remembered, but more mature. He had a 
hint of hair trailing up his lower belly now, not just 
on his pubes, and his chest and shoulders were broader 
and more muscular, though he still has a swimmer's body, 
more lean than bulky. 

He doesn't have much body hair, which suits my personal 
tastes. His butt is a 10, as they say -- small and round 
and muscular, just right for his slim hips. It must be 
from running track events. It can't be normal or other 
guys would look that good too, and mostly they don't. He 
had his profile to me, so when he unbent from taking off 
his underwear I could see his erect penis standing 
straight out from his body. It had grown since our 
earlier encounters.

I said in my first note that I didn't care if he grew 
larger down there, and I didn't; but it was still nice 
to see that he had gotten somewhat thicker and longer 
than I remembered. I guess it's a bit under seven inches 
long, thicker in proportion to the new length, but still 
on the slim side like the rest of him. 

It's about the same length as other guys I've had 
intimate contact with (not that many -- three, actually, 
in two years of college, plus my high school boyfriend 
Tom). Not a flagpole or a "horse," as you people say 
here, but beautifully right for him. I guess every guy 
is built differently in the cock department. In my own 
rather limited experience, I think Rich's is utterly the 
best. Believe me, at that moment I couldn't take my eyes 
off him. It.

He must have noticed me staring when he turned to face 
me, because he put his hand around it -- his fingers 
overlapped, I remember -- and smiled when I looked back 
up his body to his face. I guess I had roaming eyes, 
like his when he first undressed me.

"Is it what you remember?" he asked.

"Somewhat larger, actually," I told him. (Hmmm -- I 
assumed he meant his penis -- I wonder if he meant his 
whole body? Well, it was the right answer either way.) 
"Still gorgeous. You are absolutely mind-bending." He 
smiled wider and I smiled back. "Rich, come lie down 
with me. I want to hold you." 

He did, and I rolled onto my side to put my arms around 
him. He rolled to meet me and I pressed my cheek against 
his chest, and his erection jabbed at my thighs. When I 
felt that, I reached down between us to hold him in my 
hand, squeezing gently like a veteran groper. 

My first impression was right -- his erect penis is 
somewhat thicker than when he was barely 15. Not enough 
to make me nervous, but it does have a nice amount of 
extra, what would you call it? Heft, I guess. A bonus. I 
loved how soft it felt for being so hard, and the way it 
responded when I squeezed.

"Rich, can it be my turn now?" I asked him, and he 
smiled and nodded so I let go of his cock and scooted up 
to where I could plant another big, wet kiss on his 
mouth. He knew what I wanted right away, and we went 
into another deep, lingering kiss. 

I don't know if other women love to kiss like that, deep 
and long and with active tongue play, but I can't get 
enough of it, provided it's with someone I feel right 
about and he doesn't try to rape my mouth with his 
tongue. It might seem weird to want subtlety when 
playing "tonsil hockey," but that's what I'm trying to 
get at. Rich understood, and was thrilling to kiss.

While we kissed, Rich stroked his hand down the small of 
my back to my butt, where he caressed and squeezed me. 
His other hand, the one by the bed, was between us, 
caressing my breast. I was gently fondling his very 
erect cock, stroking and squeezing. It was a perfect 
moment, loving and intimate and sexual all at once, and 
I don't think the outside world existed.

When Rich tightened his hand on my butt, his fingers 
spanned the cheek and spread out on the side of my 
crotch and against my inner thigh. It made my sexual 
parts move around against each other, a terrific turn-
on. Then he moved his fingers over and down between my 
legs from the rear; I arched my back to give him access, 
and he quickly found my vagina with his long, middle 
finger. I could feel the other fingers moving on either 
side as he probed and moved his finger on the inside of 
me. 

I heard myself making noises, and couldn't arch my back 
enough.

While Rich caressed me like that from the rear we kept 
kissing, and I started moving my hand up and down on his 
cock. He was quickly very moist at the tip, which I 
remembered meant he needed release soon. So I broke the 
kiss, whispered, "My turn," and tasted my way down his 
long, flat, hard body. As I dropped lower he tried to 
keep his finger inside me but soon had to give up, and 
then I was face to face again (so to speak) with his 
erect cock. 

He was as gorgeous close-up as I remembered from before, 
perfectly proportioned, topped by a reddish head, with 
blue veins on the shaft. There was moisture around its 
little opening slit and more appeared as I stroked my 
hand up, but I didn't want him to go off quite so soon. 
I stopped stroking and instead put my hands on his 
thighs to move them farther apart. 

I then moved over to kneel with both of my legs between 
his knees, as he had just done to me. God it was a 
compelling sight, his hard cock standing up in the air, 
leaning slightly toward his belly but moving in time to 
his heartbeat, and the moisture at the end signifying 
his readiness.

I lifted his balls and they felt heavy in my hand; I 
imagined them full of semen, though I believe the 
testicles are not where semen actually accumulates in a 
male. (I'll have to look that up.) But it felt sexy to 
imagine it that way, and I leaned down to kiss and then 
lick the underside of the sack while I stroked and 
lightly scratched the area where I remembered he was 
sensitive, right behind his balls between his legs, and 
on back toward his anus.

He rewarded me with a soft groan, so I kept it up. By 
now Rich was stroking my hair as I ministered to him. 
Finally I licked around his balls, up the side of his 
sack to the base of his cock, then slowly up the 
underside of the shaft to its head. The taste of his 
semen, which I remember well and like to conjure up in 
my mind when I masturbate, was strong there at the head. 
It had a salty tang that I now associate with the first 
few drops (his flavor gets more neutral later during 
ejaculation). 

I could feel his energies building and knew he would not 
last much longer, so I carefully put my mouth around his 
cock without actually closing it over him and breathed 
softly out around it as I scratched lightly between his 
legs with my fingernails. I did not want to just set him 
off accidentally; I wanted him to build up to a finish 
he could never have just gone upstairs to do for 
himself, something as memorable as what he had just 
given me. Lewd? I certainly hoped so.

So I drew it out as much as I could without being cruel. 
(The poor boy did need his release!) I scratched 
lightly, gradually back between his legs as I breathed 
out around his cock with each breath, and produced 
exactly the effect I'd hoped for. When my fingernail 
actually brushed his anus he went "Oh god, Jeez," in a 
strangled voice and hunched his hips up, sending his 
cock right against the back of my throat. 

The contact started him spurting strongly so I closed my 
mouth around him, using my tongue to hold him gently 
against the roof of my mouth so he could hunch himself 
up and down, spurting into my mouth and throat as I 
swallowed his output. I don't know how much he gushed, 
but it came out in a series of strong spurts that I felt 
very clearly, plus a longish period of gradual 
subsiding. 

I held him in my mouth the whole time, scratching 
lightly against his sensitive areas and moving my tongue 
around gently on the underside of his penis. His 
explosions felt absolutely glorious to me; he kept 
saying my name. 

Toward the end I reached down to touch myself between 
the legs and had a little orgasm of my own, nothing 
much, just a small energy release. My mind was really on 
Rich and what I was doing to him.

Here's something maybe other women can tell me. Do you 
find that taking your man orally to climax and drinking 
down his fluids is in some ways more intense than other 
sexual experiences? I do. It has to do with being in 
control, and the lack of distractions (like orgasms) 
going on in my own body, and the complete and utter 
focus of my partner. Well, I haven't actually done or 
felt like doing that with anyone else, but that's how it 
feels with Rich. 

In any case, I absolutely did not want Rich ever to 
stop, but of course he did finish, and his penis 
subsided. I held him there in my mouth until he was 
completely still, though he did not shrink all the way 
down. When I was sure he was finished I took him back 
out of my mouth, all drained, and moved my body over to 
his side so I could rest my head on his stomach and just 
gaze at his penis as it rested there on my hand. 

With my mouth off it, his penis finished shrinking and I 
sort of studied it in its flaccid state. Memorized it. 
Male physiology is very strange and interesting. I was 
in some kind of dreamy place where I just wanted to look 
and look, and maybe go to sleep there and wake up later 
and look some more. Not that his soft penis had the same 
power as when it was all hard and eager, but it just 
looked... nice. Comfortable. 

I couldn't help kissing the head, which made it stir a 
little in my hand, so I moved back up Rich's body to 
rest my cheek on his chest and listen to his heart. It 
sounded strong and steady.

I guess I dozed because the next thing I remember, Rich 
was whispering in my ear, "Jeannie - they're home! 
You've got to sneak out of here!"

I bolted off the bed and put on my pants and shirt while 
Rich put his own pants back on. 

"I'll go downstairs and tell them you're taking a nap," 
he schemed. "You go into your room and come out later, 
when you feel like it."

Then he stopped to look at me, got a funny, intense look 
on his face, and stepped over to cup my face in his hand 
and kiss me. I wondered if he could taste his juices on 
my tongue, the way I had tasted myself on him before. I 
didn't ask. He whispered, "Thank you, Jeannie. I love 
you. All my heart." I just put my arms around him and 
squeezed as hard as I could, pressing my cheek against 
his chest, loving him utterly. I didn't want to let go.

After a moment he disengaged and left the room quietly, 
then I heard him clomping noisily downstairs, hollering, 
"How was the movie?" all cheerful and seeming like 
nothing much of interest had happened. It was all I 
could do not to laugh as I snuck down the hall to my 
room. I lay down on my bed to rest a minute, but before 
I knew it, I had my hand down my pants and was rubbing 
myself off again, thinking about the encounter with 
Rich. I just couldn't help it. I'm not usually that 
horny -- I'm really not! But Rich does something intense 
to me that I can't and don't want to resist.

So it turned into a terrific visit home. Rich and I got 
together most nights and a couple times during the day 
for sex, though for some reason we kept it exclusively 
oral. We didn't have "normal sex" (as if any of this 
could be called normal!) until just before I left for 
school again. I had no complaints. There are lots of 
great variations on the oral theme and we experimented 
with most of them. 

For example, the second night after our "reunion," once 
everyone else was safely tucked away in bed, I snuck 
into Rich's room and we wound up in our first "69." It 
was Rich's idea; he wanted to give and get "magic" at 
the same time, as he puts it. But I'm sure I would have 
thought of it myself before long. It makes everything so 
mutual, if you see what I mean. It's very appealing. 

Neither of us had tried this before. I remember lying on 
our sides facing each other, exploring each other's 
sexual centers with hands and lips and tongues. Up until 
our energies started to build, it felt unhurried and 
sensual and fine; then it got more hectic. Rich pushed 
my leg up to get better access so I rested my knee on 
his shoulder. 

He licked and sucked and nibbled and probed and stroked 
every part of me, and brought my temperature up to about 
150. At the same time I was fondling him, licking him 
all over, nibbling at his sensitive areas, stroking and 
tasting and feeling and engulfing every part of him I 
could get access to, which was, well, pretty much 
everything. It was wonderful.

When orgasm overtook me I just had to roll over on top, 
bucking myself down against his face for all I was 
worth, with my knees drawn up under me. As my senses 
raced, he put one finger into my vagina and another into 
my butt ("Unnnngggggghh") while he kissed and licked and 
fluttered his tongue against my clitoris -- ye gods did 
I go off! It's a wonder no one woke up. (We did try not 
to make too much noise, of course.) 

Rich started spurting into my mouth while I was still 
bucking against him in my own rodeo, and I was so 
distracted by my sensory overload that I didn't even 
catch all of his Ricky-juice. Once we both calmed down 
some, I cleaned him up by licking his cock and his 
stomach and his crotch down by his balls, where the 
spilled semen had gone. That seems kind of gross in the 
retelling, I guess, but at the time it seemed a natural 
extension of what we had been doing. Anyhow it got me 
all hot again, which aroused him again, and off we went 
to another rodeo.

Another night when I brought him to climax orally, I 
played the same anal trick on him that he had played on 
me -- just as he went off, I stuck my finger in his 
butt. Boy did that get a reaction! The next time I took 
it even further -- I put my finger into his butt 
somewhat sooner in his build-up and probed inward to the 
music of his groans until I felt his sphincter. 

I pushed in deeper, past the sphincter into his true 
insides, and Rich flipped. His groaning was very sensual 
and the energy build-up was intense. Way back there 
inside him I felt a swelling through his intestinal wall 
that had to be his prostate gland, if my sex ed books 
told the truth, and I stroked my finger against it as he 
spurted into my throat. I was jolted by the strength of 
the smooth muscles he has in there, the ones that pump 
out his semen. 

He was spurting with incredible power. I had an orgasm 
of my own, rubbing against his leg as I drank him down. 
Very intense. I have to say that probing deep inside him 
was worth it, even though my finger smelled gross when I 
pulled it back out. (No, kids, there was no cork popping 
sound and his anus didn't slam shut.) 

I put his bathrobe on and snuck across the hall to wash 
my hands so I could go back and feel comfortable with 
him in bed. Gross or not, I could tell it drove him up 
the wall, so I'll do it again one of these times, 
assuming we continue our physical explorations. (I don't 
want to stop anytime soon, but there's always a chance 
Rich might.)

Mostly we used Rich's room because mine was too close to 
Mom's. The one time we used mine instead, Mom and Jody 
had gone out shopping for feast-food stuff. I was in my 
room napping so I didn't know Rich and I had the house 
to ourselves. (I was getting very big on naps -- having 
sex every night after lights out, then getting up early 
so no one will guess, does take a toll.) So there I was 
snoozing on top of my bed, wearing loose sweats and 
dreaming Rich was licking my stomach. 

I really liked the dream, especially when he moved 
downward toward my sexual regions. When I dreamed the 
velvet tongue was stroking my skin below the top of my 
pajama bottoms I put my hand down by reflex, and bolted 
up when it encountered someone's head! It was Rich, of 
course, trying to pay me back for one time when I snuck 
under his covers while he slept and took his soft penis 
into my mouth, just to wake him up and feel him grow 
hard there against my tongue. 

Yow! That episode has long been one of my favorite 
lascivious memories when I masturbate. But it's hard to 
pull off that stunt with a girl, especially since my 
sweats (not the p.j.'s of my dream) had no front opening 
for access. And of course there was nothing in there for 
him to fish out even if my pants did have an opening in 
front. Females are tidier that way than males.

When I jolted upright Rich looked up with such a worried 
face that I had to giggle. It seems he thought I was 
awake all along because I had been murmuring his name 
while he licked his way down my tummy. Well, why 
wouldn't I? I certainly had zilch interest in anyone 
else at the moment. 

I told him he had gotten me very turned on in my dream, 
which was true, and I lifted my hips so he could pull my 
pants down and have his oral way with me. It was a 
wonderful way to wake up! After I climaxed against his 
tongue I pulled up my sweats and told him to get up and 
lean back against the door. When he did, I went over and 
kissed him (his face was glistening again, so I got 
another sample of my own juices), then I dropped down on 
my knees, undid his fly, and discovered I couldn't fish 
his hard cock out of his jeans without being unkind and 
bending it. 

So I yanked his pants down and took him into my mouth 
for the most lingering, most sensual oral sex I knew how 
to give. When he finally spurted, I pumped my mouth up 
and down on his cock, swallowing his output as fast as 
he gushed, while I scratched lightly under and behind 
his balls. I think his knees almost buckled. I love 
bending his reality that way.

The only tiresome thing about my visit was the fear of 
discovery. We had to hide everything from Mom and Jody, 
not easy when you're busy falling in love. (It does seem 
that's what we were doing.) We took some silly chances. 
On T'giving day we were sitting together on the couch 
watching TV while Mom and Jody messed around in the 
kitchen right behind us. Since we both had loose sweats 
on, I reached inside Rich's pants to grope him, for no 
very good reason. 

To bother him I guess, or maybe just because I could. 
Anyway Rich reciprocated my mischief, and the 
combination of risk and Rich's growing expertise with my 
body brought me quickly to orgasm. My face must have 
been bright red from holding in the noises that normally 
escape me when Rich pulls my trigger. So I'm sitting 
there all red-faced, jerking my hips and clamping my 
thighs on his hand when Rich joins in, just pops right 
off in his pants against my hand. 

He got semen all over his shorts and had to run up to 
his room to change before anyone noticed the wetness or 
the smell. I couldn't help laughing. That was stupid, 
because my own hand was wet now with Rich's eruptions 
and I didn't dare run upstairs on his heels. I mean, I 
was sitting there reeking as strongly of semen as he 
would have been. I do like Rich's smell when he comes, 
it's part of his taste, but it's hard to miss the odor 
if you know what it is, and Mom would know for sure. 

Maybe Jody, too; at 13 she's getting cute in a swimsuit 
and I bet the boys have noticed. Jody did hear me 
laughing and came out to ask what was so funny; I told 
her it was the TV show. She looked at me weird so I 
checked, and it seems what Rich and I weren't watching 
was a news report on some gruesome fire someplace. 

Meanwhile I had my arms crossed so I could hide my wet 
hand in my armpit, which made my shirt wet, so just as 
Rich came back downstairs I was rushing up to change. If 
Jody or Mom noticed our change of clothes they said 
nothing, but it brought home to me how important privacy 
is in an incestuous relationship -- and how difficult to 
find.

The sex we were having was so good I didn't really 
wonder about why we never seemed to screw in the normal 
manner. Finally, on Friday, before I left for college 
again, I asked and Rich told me he thought I might get 
pregnant and wasn't willing to risk it. 

The only condom he had was a permanent resident of his 
wallet, the way high school boys do; I think they like 
the ring shape it makes in the leather or something. 
Anyway, he didn't trust it. I told him I was on the pill 
now, so if he hadn't been doing any risky behaviors I 
would love to have plain old ungarnished sex with him.

I really did want to feel him thrusting into me, feel 
him build to a climax and fill me with his semen. The 
thought gave me shivers and I told him so. The next day 
we borrowed Mom's car and took off for an overnight 
"visit to friends," went to a motel down the freeway a 
few miles and spent Saturday evening and most of Sunday 
morning in each other's arms. That's when we added 
"real" love -- coitus -- fucking -- to our repertoire. 

To my surprise, considering his inventiveness, it turned 
out to be Rich's first time; as I said before, he's on 
the shy side. It was glorious, utterly enthralling, and 
maybe I'll tell about it in another note. Or maybe not. 
Right now it feels like it might betray my darling 
brother in some way, so I won't. It's his milestone, not 
mine, and I ought not to steal it. 

I will say this -- I would give anything to take back 
the few unmemorable experiences I had in bed with other 
guys at college so Rich's first time could also have 
been my own. But at least I was able to be there for 
Rich and I would not trade that, not for the world.

During our side trip to the motel, once we got 
comfortable "going all the way" with each other, we 
tried just about everything but anal sex. That, and 
bringing someone else to the party. As for anal sex, 
Rich never asked to put his cock into my butt and I 
didn't suggest it. Don't get me wrong, I would be 
willing to try it with him if he wanted. 

I will never turn down a sensual request from Rich, any 
more than he has ever turned me down. But I'm glad the 
subject didn't come up. Not that we ignored each other' 
s anuses (anii?), with all those sensitive nerve 
endings. Rich licked my anus sometimes ("Unnhhhhhhh...") 
when we were in a 69 position and I licked his too. 
Usually I did that as part of nibbling and licking the 
sensitive areas under his testicles and farther back. 

I discovered that going oral back there, including 
licking his anus, is a good way to keep him on the edge 
without actually triggering an orgasm. I can make him 
really build up pressure behind the dam when I want to 
draw things out, hee hee. But I will only do his anus 
when he smells sweet and clean there, like right after a 
shower.

Well, I did try it once during a "let's wash each other" 
bath at the motel. It took some serious squirming around 
and didn't work very well. I'd fooled around with him 
until he got all excited and ready to pop but I didn't 
want to contend with his semen floating around in the 
bath water, so I had this bright idea to keep him at the 
edge orally for awhile (what power!), then make him buck 
after we dried off. 

Things don't always work as planned. Rich says he now 
keeps a picture in his mental photo album of my face 
rising up from under his crotch with a bubble bath beard 
while he struggles to keep his butt out of the water 
without flipping upside down and drowning. Now there's 
an image to make the lunch milk come out of your nose.

For his part, Rich likes to put a finger into my butt 
when we're screwing; he says it's exciting to feel his 
cock through my tissues as he thrusts in and out of me. 
I'll admit the practice has a kind of "double your fun" 
feel that turns me on a lot -- especially when I have my 
legs hooked over his waist or just doubled up with my 
knees next to his sides. In that last position, whether 
I'm on top or underneath him, I always feel like I'm so 
stuffed with Rich that any more would make me pop. 

When I'm underneath I can feel his balls slap and move 
around against my butt when he plunges down into me. At 
such a moment if I'm close to exploding and he reaches 
down to stick in his finger ("Unnhhh...'), it's off I go 
to the rodeo. I'm glad he's careful to be gentle when he 
does that, though. It keeps it erotic, not painful.

As for bringing in third parties or starting orgies with 
others, I'm just not interested and hope he isn't 
either. I only want to be with Rich. Once we got past 
our initial fears, we were -- well, I was -- able to 
accept our incestuous sex as something we both want to 
do with and for each other. 

I love Rich very much, more than I can find words to 
express. I know absolutely that Rich loves me back. I 
feel no shame around him. He can do whatever he wants 
with me sexually, and I will do whatever he asks. I only 
wish we didn't need to be so secretive, that we could 
share what we have someplace other than anonymously on 
the Internet.

I think Rich and I have discovered something joyful that 
we can take with us into the future. I am very glad. I 
do believe we'll probably both end up with spouses and 
children, and probably we'll get less physical over the 
years. I hope we never completely stop. The experience 
has simply been too beautiful.

My only reservations have to do with a remark someone 
made in one of the incest digests -- there's a big 
difference between loving and falling in love. I've 
loved Rich my whole life. He's been a terrific kid 
brother and we never fought much. But right now I am 
absolutely, deeply, and joyfully in love with him, sunk 
happily into some sort of forbidden delirium that those 
who have been there would no doubt recognize. 

I have a strong sense that Rich is in love with me too, 
though we haven't discussed it in those explicit terms. 
I suspect Rich is being careful not to lay claims on me, 
just as I am trying to do with him. We can't afford to 
"own" each other.

If there weren't other important family members to 
consider I could see us moving somewhere far away to 
magically become "married" as far as outsiders were 
concerned. Someone in this newsgroup mentioned doing 
that with his mother! 

Rich and I look dissimilar enough (different 
complexions, for one thing) that we could probably pull 
it off. But we do have other important family. Also, I 
want to have kids of my own eventually, and I can't 
safely do that with Rich. 

Some people, especially those who launched into incest 
as children or early adolescents, seem to take it in 
stride as merely one more aspect of childhood 
exploration. But I'm way past that now with Rich. Most 
of all, I want to love Rich with all my heart, and if we 
let this get too intense or if we get much more obvious, 
I'm afraid things will become complicated. Someone 
immediately outside our little circle of two could get 
hurt. That fear kind of smudges the clarity of 
everything else I've been feeling.

For now I guess I will just take it as it comes. I will 
enjoy Rich when I see him, love him as hard as I can, 
hope he loves me back for a long, long time, and let the 
future take care of itself.

Now I'm going to turn off the computer, go to bed, take 
care of some personal needs while thinking about Rich, 
and go to sleep. I'm glad I could share all this 
somewhere while it is still so wonderful and new, even 
if it has to be anonymously.

Jeannie.in.love

***

I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact 
with a family member, and what impact that had on your 
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or 
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:

 ...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)

 ...at what age

 ...who initiated the activity, and

 ...how you feel about it now

Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story 
will only be used to continue these postings. If you 
would like to share your story, please send mail to 
RankAmateur@WriteMe.com.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 16

From:	Kelly (male)

I have had a great interest in adolescent sibling incest 
since I was about 13 because of both experiences below 
that happened to me.

One of my best friends in jr. high school, (who was male 
and the same age) had sexual intercourse with his 17 
year old sister on a regular basis. It started after she 
walked in on him masturbating once and continued until 
his older sister went off to college. This in spite of 
the fact that both were popular in school, both good-
looking and had no shortage of dates, This was around 
1975. 

They are both quite happily married with families today 
and neither seemed adversely affected. I know this case 
is true, because both our families were close, and the 3 
of us were very good friends. Our families took 
vacations together and I spent a lot of weekends with 
them at sleepovers. 

After swearing me to secrecy, both he and his sister, 
confided in me that they were having sex. We even 
planned to have a tentative "3-fer" one weekend, but the 
right opportunity never presented itself. We could never 
get rid of a either set of our parents long enough, or 
I'm sure it would have taken place.

Several years later around 1980 (when I was around 18) I 
walked into my best friend's house. It was one afternoon 
after school, and he and his 17 year-old sister were 
home alone. (Incidentally, I was dating his sister at 
this time).

After calling out for them in the kitchen and getting no 
answer, I heard water running down the hall, and 
realized the shower was running. Upon listening, I heard 
their voices and giggling in low tones coming from the 
bathroom. 

It dawned on me that my best friend and his sister; who 
was my girlfriend at the time, were taking showers 
together. I slipped quietly back out into the kitchen 
for a few moments and continued listening. I then heard 
his sister start to quietly moan in what was obviously 
sexual pleasure of some kind.

I left and came back later, never mentioning the 
incident. Oddly enough, even though she was my 
girlfriend at the time, the incident didn't make me 
jealous at all. Quite the contrary, I found it rather 
arousing. In a strange sort of way, I even felt safe in 
the fact that she was "cheating" on me with her brother, 
who I considered my best friend. 

As twisted as this sounds, I was actually happy for both 
of them that they had each other to do this with. I also 
knew it was mutual and consenting by both, and felt safe 
in the knowledge that her own brother would never do 
anything to hurt her. 

Once again both of these siblings are now married and 
have families and are very close. Neither has been 
adversely affected, insofar as I can see. {Just a 
footnote, I continued dating his sister for 9 months 
after this incident, but we broke-up when she left for 
college}

Both of these events, which are 100% true, have aroused 
in me an insatiable curiosity about sibling sexual 
relations. Unfortunately, I am an only child, so I have 
no personal experiences with a sibling of my own to draw 
from. I, like yourself, believe that is one of the best 
kept secrets of siblings and occurs FAR more than anyone 
will admit because of its taboo nature.

It's just the law of averages. I cannot help but think, 
that if I, as one person, have had experiences with 2 
sets of siblings having sex, were neither set of sibling 
couples knows each other at all, in a small middle-class 
rural area of about 20,000; that this HAS to be much 
more of a common practice than anyone will admit.

However, it is considered so perverse that almost no 
printed matter exists on the subject to try and research 
it. Believe me, I have tried. Tons of literature is 
available on parent-child incest but almost nothing 
exists on sibling incest. 

What does exist is all geared to parents for prevention 
of sibling sex in the adolescent years. There are no 
case studies, interviews of past sexual siblings, or any 
statistical figures to try to determine its magnitude. 
That is the type information I am interested in.

That's why after running across your Newsgroup thread 
using a search engine, I was so delighted to see that 
someone else shares my interest and curiosity on this 
subject. If anyone has e-mailed you any true experiences 
on the subject, would you please consider e-mailing them 
to me or tell me where on the web or Usenet is a good 
source of information on this subject? 

Also if you know of any sources to research it in book 
form, would you be kind enough to please e-mail me that 
information also. And if anyone responding has expressed 
any interest in e-mail correspondence on the subject or 
possibly forming an IRC chat area, I would be interested 
in that also.

Thank you for taking time to read this rather lengthy 
letter, and please feel free to add my two above 
contributions to your research. Hope to hear from you 
soon so I may finally get some answers to my 20 year 
curiosity on this subject as well.

***

From:	Jessica

I was browsing through the incest newsgroup recently, 
and I saw the post you made, and I've decided that I'd 
send a note about my own incest experience with my older 
brother.

I come from a pretty average family, with two girls and 
two boys. I have two older brothers and a younger 
sister. The brother I'm going to tell about is Nathan, 
the oldest.

Being a middle child, I never felt I got enough 
attention, either good or bad, so I was always glad when 
Nate would pay attention to me, and we did a lot of 
things together. Not to mention that since he was a 
senior in high school, he was living the "glamorous 
life" and seemed so much older and wiser than I did, 
being only eleven and in sixth grade yet.

One day we were goofing off, rolling around and 
wrestling, and he let me pin him down. When I was 
sitting on him, I felt something moving between his 
legs, getting hard against my crotch. 

He didn't seem to notice that anything was going on, but 
that was the first time I'd thought about that area on 
boys, and I felt some curiosity. Nothing happened that 
time, but the idea was in my head.

As the weeks went by, I started to notice that Nate was 
touching me a lot, even when he didn't have to. One 
thing I always noticed was when he'd brush against my 
breasts. They'd just begun to grow, and the nipples were 
very sensitive, so it really grabbed my attention when 
he'd bump into them.

Then came another occasion when we were wrestling 
around, only this time he pinned me. I could feel his 
crotch against mine, and I started to hump against him, 
it seemed so natural. 

That was when I learned that he'd noticed me noticing 
his cock the last time it had happened. He kind of half-
closed his eyes and told me that it felt really good 
when I did that. It felt pretty good to me too, and when 
he put his hand between my legs and rubbed my pussy, 
that felt even better.

That evening he snuck into my room and ate my pussy for 
the first time. I didn't even know what an orgasm was, 
and it took me completely by surprise. A good feeling in 
my crotch that just got better and better until it 
exploded. Who would have guessed? 

Nate wanted to go farther than that, but I wasn't sure, 
so I made him stop. I'm pretty sure he went back to his 
room and masturbated.

Over the next couple evenings, Nate kept sneaking in and 
giving me orgasms with his mouth, and even though I was 
afraid our parents would catch us, I loved it.

Eventually, Nate got me so hot and bothered that I 
agreed to let him take off his underwear and lie on top 
of me. He rubbed his hard penis up and down on my 
crotch, and surprised the hell out of me by ejaculating 
on my belly.

We continued our "fun" for the next couple years, and 
even though we couldn't have sex as often once he moved 
out to college, we still got together when he was home. 
I had boyfriends in high school, but I never did 
anything sexual with them. 

Then a couple weeks after I turned sixteen, I let Nathan 
go all the way, and he took my virginity. He had a great 
time, until he realized that I wasn't enjoying it as 
much as he was. I hurt a lot and there was a lot of 
blood. Nathan was very sorry, and couldn't stop 
apologizing to me. I forgave him, but the next time he 
was home, I wasn't as eager to have sex with him.

We had sex a couple times over the following years, but 
it wasn't really the same. I knew that it was 
irrational, but I kept remembering the pain of his first 
penetration, and I couldn't get into it as much. I still 
liked sex, but I was going farther with my boyfriend, 
letting him take Nathan's place I guess. Then Nate got a 
job on the west coast, and we started seeing him very 
infrequently.

I still love my brother just as much as my other 
siblings, and I have good memories of our early years of 
sex. I don't think my relationship with him hurt me as 
far as affecting my ability to have relationships with 
men. 

It was just a chapter in my life that is ended now. I'm 
still aroused by the idea of incest, which is why I 
browse the newsgroups, and that's why it's kind of hard 
to understand what happened between us.

Anyway, that's my incest experience. I'm honestly not 
sure what I'd do if Nathan wanted to have sex again, or 
if my other brother suggested it.

***

From: Fran

Yes I have had a relationship that was of the incest 
nature ... my daddy use to have me wear dresses without 
panties and when he no one was looking he would kiss my 
pussy never any intercourse... just oral... I would also 
perform oral sex on him.

Now I am 36 and my husband is 61...and I am bisexual (he 
does not know that) But I also know that he has had sex 
with one of his daughters... got her pregnant and took 
her to have an abortion... he still denies it but I know 
it's true.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 17

From: Tom

My first sexual experiences were with family members. I 
have no guilt over this, because I think it was normal 
experimentation. My earliest recollection is from when I 
was about 11 years old. My parents had a foot massager, 
which was a device that plugged into the wall and had 
two vibrating pads which you put your feet on. 

One day I opened my pants and tried rubbing my penis 
against it through my underwear. The sensations were 
very strong and I had my first orgasm. 

Later, I brought my younger brother down to the basement 
and showed him. (He is a year younger than me.) After I 
came, he tried it and came also.

We masturbated together with the massager on a regular 
basis, and this led to other things. We began feeling 
and rubbing each other's erections before using the 
massager, and eventually engaged in mutual masturbation 
without the massager. 

We were always horny and looking for a chance to play 
with each other. This went on for about a year, and then 
one day I decided to try sucking him. I got between his 
legs and took his little dick between my lips. I moved 
my mouth around on it for a while. It was nice. He did 
it to me afterwards. 

I don't think either of us came that first time, but it 
was very sexy and enjoyable. Sucking pretty much took 
the place of masturbating after that. We would take 
turns sucking each other to orgasms at every 
opportunity. We often did it at night, since we shared a 
room.

I think I began ejaculating when I was 12. He was 
sucking me one night, and I ejaculated in his mouth. He 
took my penis out right away. 

We were both fascinated by my cum. I tasted it by 
licking it off of his hand. He usually let me cum in his 
mouth after that. He didn't start ejaculating until a 
couple of years after that.

This went on until I was almost 16, but during the last 
year or so our sex play tapered off greatly as we became 
more interested in girls. We haven't spoken of it since, 
and I consider us to both be heterosexual now, though I 
often fantasize about sucking a guy.

I had one experience with my sister Wendy. I was 13 at 
the time, and she was 15. It was a weekend day during 
the winter, and my parents had gone to one of my 
brother's hockey games. My sister's friend Nancy had 
come over, and the two of them disappeared while I was 
playing video games. I found them in our attic, which 
had been fixed up as a den. 

Nancy had brought over an x-rated video tape, and they 
were watching it on the TV and VCR in the attic/den. I 
walked in and busted them, and told them I wanted to 
watch it too. I was thrilled by the tape. 

We challenged each other to show our privates, and so I 
took out my hard cock. They dropped their jeans. They 
felt my penis, and I dared them to suck me. Both girls 
refused at first, but then Nancy decided to do it. My 
sister watched her, and then she decided to try it too. 
It was very exciting. 

I felt Wendy's pussy, and got them to show me their 
breasts. Nancy encouraged me to lick my sister, so I 
did. When I stopped, Nancy tried it. We took turns 
licking her until she came. I was incredibly horny. I 
wanted to fuck one of them, but they both refused. 

I asked Wendy to lick Nancy, but she wouldn't. I ended 
up masturbating and cumming all over the floor while I 
felt Nancy's pussy.

Wendy was very embarrassed about it afterwards. She 
swore to me that she had never had sex with a girl 
before, and made me promise never to tell anybody. (She 
wasn't aware of that our brother and I were fooling 
around, and I didn't tell her. In retrospect, maybe I 
should have.) 

We never touched each other after that day, but it has 
been a source of my fantasies ever since.

***

From: Alicia

Hi there, I read your post and thought it would be 
interesting for you to know that I have had sex with my 
nephew, my brother's son, almost every day in the two 
weeks that he stayed with me in the summer of 95. He was 
thirteen years old at the time and very curious about 
sex and stuff.

I noticed that he watched me when I took a shower and I 
confronted him with that. My husband was away for a 
month and I was already quite horny, so it was 
definitely me who wooed him. I said that if he wanted to 
see me naked he should just say so and dropped my towel. 

I let him touch my breasts and then asked him to 
undress. I sucked his cock until he came and then made 
him lie down on his back. I fucked him until we both 
came. 

After the first time, this happened every day until he 
had to go home. I would start with kissing his dick and 
let him come once, to make sure that it would take him 
some time to come a second time, inside of me.

When he was back home again my brother called me to say 
thanks and said that David, my nephew, was a different 
person since he had stayed with me. I told my husband 
what had happened and he did not mind. He said he wished 
he had had such an aunt when he was thirteen years old!

Last summer my niece stayed with us, after David having 
had such a nice time the year before, my brother and his 
wife decided to let little Rachel stay with us. 

I will send you a letter which Rachel sent us last week, 
describing the wonderful things she found out with me 
and my husband last summer.

Love, Alicia

***

From: Henrik

In my life there has been a experience with incest. To 
be honest I am very careful with writing to you because 
of safety reasons.

The experience has been with my sister and it hasn't 
been a very pleasant one. I think that although we knew 
what was going on, we were not prepared for the 
consequences of our actions. 

This all happened about six years ago when my sister was 
19 and I was 23 years old. After the one time experience 
we did not talk about it and left it like nothing 
happened.

Naturally I thought a great deal about it after I got my 
daughter. There is now an opportunity with my sister to 
talk about the event and this gives me the possibility 
to tell her that I still love her very much and that 
what happened between us was not something that I see as 
wrong but rather something that we needed to do in order 
to learn and grow.

Still I am fascinated by incest on the mother/son 
relation. This I can explain: When I was six months old 
I was adopted by Dutch parents who lived in the U.S.A. 
(Seattle). 

Right from the moment of birth I was taken from my 
biological mother so that I did not have any physical 
contact with her. This is something that till the day of 
today I miss. The protection and the welcome that I 
think any person needs to start his or her life has been 
something that no other woman and father could replace, 
although my adoptive parents, especially my mother, have 
tried to give it to me.

I am convinced that this gap has played a big role in my 
sexual development in that I've been looking for love, 
understanding and protection in the time where I was the 
most vulnerable, my puberty.

Still I realize that putting my interest in the right 
place, incest is rather a search for a protected place 
where I can let go of all myself made restrictions in 
order to stay healthy and in touch with myself. This of 
course in order to survive.

I am very interested in talking more about this subject, 
to find out and maybe help other people to understand 
more of this taboo. A subject that hurts people instead 
of elevating its taboo so that feelings of love don't 
get twisted into a frustration that has a negative 
effect on all the parties concerned.

To end this letter I would like to excuse for my English 
grammar.

Though I'm Dutch I do my best to write as good as 
possible.

[minor edits, spelling etc.]

***

From: Karl

The closest I have ever come to incest is having sex 
with my first cousin and I do not regret it. Usually we 
try to get alone every time she visits up here at my 
mother's.

***

From: Nigel

Hi - please do me a favor - pass on a 'thank-you' to 
Jeannie from my wife and I? We both enjoy her writing 
style. I understand what she means when she says she 
gets aroused writing her sexual memoirs. The same thing 
happens to me if I detail an incredibly erotic 
experience to someone.

Anyway, about 20 years ago when I was about 25, I moved 
to England for several months. I was pretty lonely and 
ended up making love to my cousin a few times. I guess 
we both needed some physical companionship. There was 
certainly no love involved.

Details are really sketchy - this was long long ago and 
many many lovers ago. I don't remember there being any 
'incest' thoughts really. 

We hadn't seen each other since little kids so we were 
complete strangers. I think if something had sparked, we 
would have continued. It was probably the first time I 
ever used a condom.

keep up the good work collecting and posting

***

[spoiler: negative experience]

From: Roger

my experience with my brother -- he 14 or 15 -- me 9 or 
10 he was punishing me for something or another and 
dragged me into our bedroom and stuck a knife in the 
door so I could not get out. He took me to the bed and 
told me to get undressed as he undressed himself. He 
then forced me to have oral sex with him and then he 
fucked me using shaving cream as lube. (to this day I 
cannot shave with canned cream).

I remember when he came in my mouth I was freaked out - 
never seeing cum being - as it was referred to in my 
youth. I had no idea what this stuff all over my face 
was.

of course I was told never to tell anyone...which I have 
not until now. It happened one more time a few years 
later - kind of fuzzy about the two times - but same 
thing. He was babysitting, he got angry and fucked 
little brother. 

I don't remember if he sucked my cock or not but, I 
think he did.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 18

Though incest is among society's strongest taboos, 
statistics show a lot of us have done it -- or are doing 
it. Whether as part of mutual exploration, seduction, or 
even abuse, incest creates enduring memories with 
emotional and erotic impact. This digest is one way of 
discussing and illuminating this subject. Plus, the 
stories are fun to share!

If you have an incest experience you would like to 
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@writeme.com. 
Anonymity guaranteed.

***

Jeannie & Her Younger Brother
Part III: Rich's Point of View
(mf, teen, cons, incest, true)

by Rich


NOTE FROM JEANNIE: 

I've posted two long notes to the incest digest about my 
relationship with my younger brother, Rich. I have no 
regrets about the great sex we've been having. No one 
ever made me feel so safe and I've never had my body 
just go into overdrive like it does -- like I do -- when 
I am being intimate with him.

I guess I should mention that I'm 19 and in college; my 
brother Rich is 17 and still living at home, finishing 
high school. 

I do feel compassion for people with unhappy incest 
histories. Their stories seem to share elements of 
force, dishonesty, molestation, disrespect or betrayal 
of trust. These dark undertows are missing from my 
relationship with Rich and I know that is a blessing. My 
guess is, any kind of sex must be truly consensual to 
avoid damage to somebody. But I'm no expert. I just know 
my sensual unfolding with Rich has been a gift.

This is a rounding-out to my story and then I will stop 
posting.

For now.

This third installment was inspired when Rich, to my 
surprise, visited me at my apartment this week, hundreds 
of miles from home. It seems when his school let out for 
the holidays he just jumped on the bus. During his visit 
I have lost any lingering doubts about our relationship. 
Rich loves me as much as I do him and wants to continue. 
That may change for either of us in the future, but for 
now we will just keep on exploring and enjoying each 
other.

He is such a sweetie. 

Rich wrote the main body of what follows, on my 
computer, after I showed him my previous two notes. (I 
decided if I could share this material on the Internet, 
I'd better share it with him too.) It was his third 
morning here, Saturday, and he was sitting nude at my 
computer as he read, so I got to watch him go from soft 
to hard due solely to my words. I love watching my 
brother rise like that anytime, it's wonderfully sexy; 
but knowing I had done it to him just by writing down my 
memories... 

It was entertaining, too. Once he got hard, he'd reach 
down to kind of stroke or pull or squeeze at himself 
every now and then while he read. I don't know if he was 
aware of it and I didn't want to embarrass him, so I 
didn't ask. I just watched and smiled while I finished 
my coffee. In these notes I have tried to show how 
sensual my experiences with Rich have been for me, and 
now here was Rich's cock all popped up and waving around 
in his lap, pulling his hand down like a magnet and 
telling the world that m y words had exactly the effect 
I wanted!

I really enjoy making my kid brother horny. It's fun and 
the rewards tend to be terrific soon after. For 
instance, this morning I found out that if Rich slouches 
down on my computer chair I can straddle him front-to-
front, lower myself down and take him all the way up 
inside of me. Well, it was a 2 inches down, half-inch up 
sort of progress to adjust our tissues as we merged, but 
that was fun too. 

So there I sat on his lap, glued up against him while he 
finished reading. It was intense, unhurried and sensual, 
a treat. I closed my eyes to feel myself against (and 
around) him and did a lot of sighing when he stirred 
inside me. I even tried something a friend told me 
about, squeezing my insides against his cock without 
otherwise moving. He like it and it reminded my "body 
awareness" of his presence inside me, and kept me wet 
even when neither of us had moved for awhile.

After Rich finished reading we traded energies in 
intimate ways, still sitting at the computer. (Mmmmmm; 
nice; I hope we'll do it there again sometime.) Then he 
wrote what follows. 

Rich always makes me feel very good about myself. You'll 
see why. I'm not nearly as beautiful as he claims but 
it's his journal and if he wants to rhapsodize about me, 
I guess I can take it! Anyway my brother's starlit view 
of me makes it great to have him around and hasn't hurt 
the terrific sex we keep having either.

This intro is long enough so I'll just paste Rich's note 
in and send it on to RankAmateur@writeme.com for the 
incest digest, if Rank even wants another one from me! 
Well, it's really from Rich. My only suggestion was to 
run a spell-checker. If you read my previous notes, 
you'll see what Rich means by different points of view. 
Some of the differences in what we remembered made me 
laugh. I think I will let him peek down my shirt 
whenever he wants, the rat. 

- "J." (still smiling)


Some people might think Jeannie and I are sick or crazy 
but I don't care. I'm writing this because Jeannie 
showed me her Internet notes and asked if I wanted to 
write my point of view. I guess Jeannie needs to work 
stuff out in writing, that's why she's taking journalism 
maybe. 

She's a good writer so I guess she thinks she can read 
her notes when she is 80 and remember how it is between 
us now. I would like it to still be the same but even if 
it is not I do not think I will need a note to remember.

She surprised me how she wrote about everything even how 
she first did me when I was 15, I felt weird about it 
but then I thought, she must really trust me, and then I 
thought, it's under false names so I guess it's okay. 

Then I settled down and realized it was turning me on a 
lot to read her memories, they are pretty close to mine 
but not exactly the same, I guess that's why people have 
a different point of view from each other. I never knew 
I was all that good to be worth writing about with words 
like those. Maybe I should have a harem if Jeannie ever 
gets tired of me!

She wants me to write how I feel so I will. I love 
Jeannie. Period. That part is simple. I want to be with 
her and make her happy which is tough since we are 
related. That part is complicated. That is how I feel, 
maybe it will change when I get older but I won't worry 
about that yet.

She says I should write more so I will but don't expect 
good writing like hers. I can add some things she didn't 
say plus I know things that she doesn't such as that she 
is a fox and such as I can love her without being 
damaged even if she drops me to move on with her life 
later, 17 is plenty old enough to know those things and 
she's only 19 herself.

Here's how I got to read her notes. After we had sex at 
home and Jeannie left back for college I couldn't get 
her out of my mind. Maybe she's my sister but I wish she 
wasn't, I would be able to love her and we wouldn't have 
to sneak around. I know she loves me but I think she is 
scared of what we are doing so I try to be careful and 
never pushy since I am already lucky enough. 

When you love someone that is doing something risky with 
you is no time to get careless with that person. But 
this isn't some stupid grammar school deal, we lived our 
whole lives together and didn't rush into this even if 
it did start by accident.

Jeannie said we could love each other's bodies as long 
as I wanted or felt comfortable with it (her words). As 
if I might want to stop. But when she left I felt like 
was it real? I'm just her kid brother, I could see some 
jock coming along and Jeannie going for him and 
realizing something like, it was just a fling and I 
don't know what I'm doing and how can she go out in 
public with me. 

Then she would try to end it without hurting my 
feelings, I'm no coward but that was not fun to think. 
Or maybe Jeannie would feel bad about seducing me in the 
first place since she already said she was afraid of 
hurting my emotions. Then she might decide to do 
something for my own good that would prove I am just a 
dumb kid brother and what we did never really meant 
anything, I didn't say that too well anyway I did not 
feel certain of much.

Personally I don't think love can hurt anyone unless 
somebody takes unfair advantage which is not like 
Jeannie to do, or lays their own ideas on others even 
though it is none of their business which I think is how 
things usually work since the world is full of jerks. 
They are why we hide and who can do that forever?, a 
girl like Jeannie deserves better, in her place I would 
not pick me.

Now I know Jeannie does want to love me for as long as 
we can manage but when she left I had doubts and was 
bothered. When my school let out before hers I told Mom 
I wanted to see her college, I might try to go there if 
it had good engineering classes. Of course I don't get 
all A's like Jeannie. 

She got a scholarship but I probably can't and Mom 
raised us up on her own by being a copy editor, Dad 
never helped much until lately. He stopped drinking now 
and Mom says he has a good job, maybe he can help with 
college after I graduate next year. Anyway Mom said go 
ahead and see the school so I took the Greyhound bus 
down here.

I got in late and didn't tell Jeannie I was coming, I 
was afraid she would say not to. So I called when I got 
to town and she asked what I was doing, I told her I 
came to see the school and where could I get a room? in 
case she didn't want me to come over. She laughed at me 
and said to come to her place, she has her own apartment 
off the campus. She told me how to get there so I walked 
over, it was pretty close. Jeannie answered the door 
right away and grabbed my arm and pulled me inside, then 
she laughed and hugged me hard and I hugged her back and 
we kissed and I was glad I came.

She told me I was crazy and I said what's new, she said 
she was really glad to hear my voice on the phone, I 
asked why and she said she really needed some hugs from 
me so I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her back 
and she hugged me and kind of moved softly against me 
and sighed and made me feel good. 

After that she locked the door and said she already 
called Mom to say I got there okay and would sleep over 
on the couch. She smiled kind of sideways when she told 
me that so I figured out she didn't have any second 
thoughts about us yet. While she moved around the 
apartment I just watched her, I think I was grinning 
kind of goofy, well anyone might have in my place.

Jeannie was wearing sort of a long thin T-shirt that 
came about halfway down her thighs and had a picture of 
a kitten on it. I could tell she didn't have anything 
else on at least not on top because I could see her 
nipples poking out against the cloth, one of them poked 
the kitten in the eye. I love Jeannie's breasts and 
nipples.

I want to set something straight. Jeannie says in her 
notes that she isn't beautiful and she told me that same 
thing but she's wrong. Her beauty is not in the eye of 
the beholder like she said, it's in her for real. She 
thinks she is just thin but most thin girls have flat 
chests and skinny legs and Jeannie's breasts are 
beautiful, not huge but not flat either and her legs are 
perfect for her height which isn't all that tall. 

There is a little triangle space between her thighs 
right under her crotch, you can see through it when she 
stands up which looks way hot. Her breasts are soft to 
hold and stroke, they fit my hand perfect and they don't 
fold over when she stands. Her nipples are perfect 
sized, not tiny but not splashed all over like a sloppy 
paint job either, just the right size for her breasts. 

When she stands her nipples kind of point up and outward 
a little, you might have seen statues or pictures like 
that. They don't bulge into each other, so you can look 
up between them at her face if you are lying down 
together and rest your cheek on her stomach. 

If she is on her hands and knees naked which I am lucky 
enough to see from time to time her breasts keep a 
beautiful shape, they don't dangle down like udders or 
marble bags or something. Jeannie's breasts always make 
you want to stroke them with love.

I have memorized Jeannie's breasts so I can see them 
even when she is not here. Jeannie knows I take pictures 
in my mind and seeing her smile at me when I rest my 
cheek on her stomach and look up between her breasts is 
one of my favorites. 

I love how all of her looks naked. She has a really long 
straight back with a beautiful arch down to her behind 
which fills out a swimsuit perfect, not too big but 
still plenty round. Her legs are strong not bony and 
they don't have fat dimples. 

Her hips are not wide but her waist is small so her hips 
swell out just right without making her body look like a 
broomstick stuck on top of an oil drum, I told you 
Jeannie was the writer not me. But that's not all. She 
always looks like she has a tan because we have some 
Indian blood on Mom's side, it makes her skin really 
pretty. I have lighter skin from the Irish on Dad's side 
which Jeannie says she likes okay but hers is really 
great looking. 

When she walks around at the pool in that body and that 
skin wearing a bikini you can see all these guys and 
lots of girls turn their heads to look but Jeannie 
doesn't even seem aware. She says guys have heads that 
were designed to swivel and girls always compare 
themselves to other girls and none of it means anything. 
She just thinks she is too thin no matter what I say 
otherwise.

Her face is beautiful too, she has green eyes from the 
Irish side and a small nose and almost perfect teeth but 
one of her eyeteeth is not quite in line so when she 
smiles it's like just that little bit off from perfect 
that makes you know she is real. When she smiles you 
want to be with her so other people will notice and wish 
they were you. 

Her hair looks like she has been out in the sun a lot 
even in the winter time. Jeannie is a fox who never 
noticed because she was too busy with school. Any of my 
friends will tell you what a fox she is even if she 
called them swivel-headed idiots once. She says a 
boyfriend told her she looks like a pixie but she looks 
more like an elf to me with her big green eyes and slim 
bikini body and that smile. She's perfect. Of course I 
love her but like I said ask anyone. She could be in a 
magazine.

Another thing and when Jeannie reads this I hope she 
will laugh. That first time when she took care of my 
overload by giving me a hand job (and it was a great 
one) I told her I got hard because her washing my 
stomach felt so good and it did feel terrific but the 
truth is, I did not have my eyes closed like she 
thought. 

I just had my eyelids mostly lowered to seem closed so I 
could peek down her shirt when she bent over, she wasn't 
wearing a bra so I had a perfect view and could see her 
nipples and everything. I had a woody ever since she 
leaned over to put a pillow behind my head so I could 
eat some toast and there they were, Jeannie's beautiful 
boobs about six inches in front of my eyes. She says I 
was smiling I bet I was. 

When she washed me she was moving around a lot but still 
leaning over so I got different views, it was hot. She 
says it wasn't sexual but tell it to my woody. When she 
pulled down the blanket to change the bedding and looked 
up it took me awhile to realize she was staring at my 
hard-on and then I really wished I could disappear. 

Then she got all tender and told me it was okay to be a 
male and one thing led to another and then I didn't want 
to admit I had just been sneaking horny looks down her 
shirt. I was afraid she would get mad. So that's what 
really happened.

Her note seems like I was very sure of myself saying 
"Let's go to my room" after we kissed. The truth is I 
didn't want her to change her mind. She was a little 
shaky at first I guess they call it trembling and then 
we kissed and then we were just standing there pressed 
up against each other all calm like and moving softly 
against each other and she stopped being twitchy and me, 
I couldn't believe this was real. 

It was a wish coming true that I had wished for years. 
And then somebody drove by in a car outside and Jeannie 
got all tense again, jumpy like, and I could feel my 
wish fading out. She doesn't mention the car in her 
note. I asked her to come to my room because I didn't 
want her to run away and I thought maybe we could be 
more relaxed there. 

Even after we got upstairs it still didn't seem real 
until I started undoing her shirt buttons and she put 
her hands on my waist while we kissed and then looked up 
at my face while I undid more buttons. She was biting 
her lip and smiling at the same time like her face was 
having a fight with itself, she looked like she wanted 
to stay but run away. 

Her note says that's when I figured out she didn't have 
a bra on but I already knew that from downstairs when we 
hugged and I stroked her back and soaked up everything 
into my mind about her that I could, like that she 
smelled good and felt soft against me and didn't have a 
bra on and so forth.

I should tell this. When she asked me in the living room 
to hug her so she could talk I thought maybe somebody 
had hurt her and I would have to get vengeful which is 
not something I usually do. Or she would tell me 
somebody found out what we did. 

I don't know, it just felt like it would be bad is all. 
Then she said she wanted to make love but she seemed 
like scared of me which I didn't understand so I kissed 
her and stroked her long back. When I felt her softness 
moving against me is when I hoped it could really be 
true.

What happened upstairs that she noticed when I looked 
down from our kiss and saw her shirt almost open and 
felt her hands resting on my waist was, I finally got it 
that she really wanted to not stop until we were 
finished. When I ran my finger down her front I was 
just, you know, touching her. It was amazing to me that 
I would not wake up wet and sticky and alone like 
sometimes when I dream about Jeannie and wake up 
spouting jizm all over the bed, if that is how you spell 
it. 

I hope she doesn't mind that I h ad hot dreams about her 
since I was 13 or so, we have done some amazing things 
together in my dreams and I saw her in my mind with 
various Penthouse models crotches since I didn't know 
what hers was like until she showed me when I was 15. 
Hers is beautiful like the rest of Jeannie.

I'm glad Jeannie likes my cock. I used to worry about 
what some Comedy Central guy called the only two 
important questions, "Is it big enough and where can I 
put it", but now the only person who matters says she 
likes it so I can stop worrying.

After Jeannie let me explore and taste her body and then 
she did me back it was just like she said and I will not 
ever forget, I shot into her throat so hard it hurt. 
Often she swallows me completely by just letting me into 
her throat, what they call deep throat. I think she does 
not know it is considered unusual and hard for a girl to 
do that. I usually come right away at those times and 
the feeling of her tongue against me when she swallows 
is impossible to write down in words. I wish I could do 
something that amazing for her but she seems happy with 
me so I won't complain to the student newspaper.

Another thing, when I tasted her body and heard her 
little Jeannie noises for the very first time, and she 
did me back, she sort of wriggled herself back up my 
body just like her note said and dozed off with her head 
on my chest. What she didn't know was she slept for over 
an hour and I just held her and felt blessed. That might 
sound wrong considering what we had been doing but I 
still felt blessed and holy. 

She had her right hand on the left side of my chest and 
her hair spread out down my right side to t he bed. Her 
left leg was stretched out straight so she touched me 
all the way down my right side to my calf. She had her 
right knee drawn up onto my stomach, by looking over her 
head I could see a little fold of skin where her leg 
bent up from her body. I felt her breath against my 
chest, it was soft and even. 

I could see where her hip made that soft, beautiful 
curve up from her waist. In front, her pubic hair looked 
dark against my skin, I could just see where the 
triangle of it started under where her leg bent up onto 
me. Her stomach moved gently against me with her 
breathing. 

I felt her breasts against me, one against my upper 
stomach the other pressed against my side, the upper one 
moved against my skin when she snuggled against me or 
moved in her sleep every now and then. All this is a 
photograph in my mind. I could have just laid there all 
night holding her beautiful sleeping naked self against 
me but Mom and Jody got home so we had to scurry.

I wish we didn't have to hide. Jeannie said in her note 
that she put her pants and shirt back on, that's exactly 
what she did. She left her panties at the foot of my bed 
and later I put them into my closet. Sometimes at home 
after she left if I needed to jack off I took them down 
to feel them and smell them where they had been wet from 
her juices. It sounds weird but in a way it was like 
having Jeannie actually there when I miss her which is 
often.

Jeannie's completely right about one thing, that time in 
the motel at the end of her vacation was the first time 
I "went all the way" as she put it with anyone. Every 
one of my sex first times except for jacking off has 
been with Jeannie and I only discovered jacking off by 
accident when I was 12. 

Not that I didn't brag at school but I never really had 
any luck or maybe I didn't want any to tell the truth. 
One girl gave me a few hand jobs on dates when I was 16 
but she was boring and tried to own me which I 
discovered I couldn't stand, she needed to go buy a 
brain at the brain mall. I have only ever told how much 
I love Jeannie here. Except to her of course.

Jeannie said (her words in her note) that being my first 
woman was glorious and enthralling. I'm sure. Here's 
glorious me, I was so nervous I went soft and couldn't 
put it into her. We were on our sides facing each other 
and she had put her knees around the outside of my legs 
and was looking across the pillow at me with her eyes 
half closed and I just lost it which made me confused 
but Jeannie reached down to hold my cock and whispered 
stuff like "it's okay Rich" and "just be here with me" 
and I got hard again. 

She said maybe I should try being on top and she rolled 
over on her back with her legs apart and her knees up a 
little so I could lie down on her. I went over between 
her legs on my knees and started to lower myself onto 
her but then I bent a little more and kissed her on her 
clitoris because I love the little sounds she makes when 
I do something right and I needed to do something right 
for a change and she made that little noise I love so I 
did it some more.

Then I moved up and kissed her nipple and I was going to 
try to start screwing but then I blew it again, I just 
couldn't do it right. My mistake this time was I read 
somewhere that a gentleman puts his weight on his elbows 
so I tried that but it didn't work because she wanted to 
reach between us to put my cock at the entrance to her 
and my arms were in the way. 

She said she wanted to feel all my weight on top of her 
so she could touch me with all of her skin that she 
could or something like that. What a relief. Then she 
was able to reach down and grab me and point me to the 
right place. Her guiding me with her hand like that felt 
great. When I pushed down at her she wrapped her arms 
around my back and hooked her heels over my legs by my 
knees and pushed back up at me. 

When I got all the way down inside of her maybe it was 
the warm, wet, tight, slick feeling of having Jeannie 
all around my cock (and she WANTED me there) or the 
little Jeannie noise she made when I got to the bottom 
so we touched all along our bodies, or the feeling of my 
balls resting against her, below where I went in. (She 
doesn't like the word cunt so I won't say it either.) 

Or maybe I was just scared, my heart sure was going 
fast. Anyway I got about two strokes done and lost it 
all in one long dribble. It was the second time I wished 
I could go hide somewhere instead of facing her. I'm 
telling about this so you'll know what kind of girl 
Jeannie is, she pretended it was wonderful and she 
didn't laugh once.

After I fizzled out she held my glorious self on top of 
her for awhile, I felt her pushing down on my butt with 
her legs. Then she hooked her heels over the insides of 
my thighs and held me like that while she rocked me back 
and forth, just kind of moving against me softly for 
awhile. I don't know if she had an orgasm but if it was 
me I wouldn't have. 

She said to stay inside of her even though I was fizzled 
out so I did and kept busy kissing and licking at her 
neck and shoulder and she kissed me back in the same 
places. Finally she put her legs back down and kissed my 
shoulder and my stupid pee hose fell back out of her so 
I lifted myself off and lay down beside her and didn't 
feel too proud.

When I looked over at her she looked back and smiled. I 
put my hand on her breast and told her I was sorry. She 
put her hand over mine and said it was exactly right for 
being my first time with her, she said if I hadn't been 
too excited to last very long she would have thought 
something was wrong with her. 

She was just looking at me and smiling and kind of 
playing with my ear. Then she said "This was your first 
time ever wasn't it" so I admitted it was. She rolled up 
on her side facing me and hugged me real hard, I felt 
her whole body pressing against me and her legs were 
kind of tangled up with mine and I held her hard too and 
tried to make it like we were not two separate people. 

Jeannie's back sort of shook and I was afraid she was 
laughing then I felt a drop roll down my chest from 
where she had her face pressed against me. I said 
"Jeannie?" and she looked up at me and I saw her eyes 
had some tears, she said "I just love you so much" and 
went back to hugging me. It made me feel, you know, 
okay. Even if I wasn't much good at sex.

The time I like to pretend was my first time was really 
my second, about an hour after. We talked a lot once she 
stopped sniffling and hugging me so hard, I don't 
remember about what but it was relaxing. She asked what 
I wanted to do, like maybe we should go watch TV or 
something. I told her I liked whatever we did but most 
of all I wanted to try again to see her across the 
pillow while I was inside of her, like we almost did 
before, on our sides before I flunked my first test so 
to speak. 

I told her she was beautiful and I wanted to just love 
her and take a picture of her looking back at me while I 
felt her all around me, she knows I take pictures in my 
mind. She moved toward me and before I knew it we were 
kissing again.

She says she likes how I kiss. Actually I just like to 
taste her and feel her against me and by kissing I can 
concentrate on that. Not like when I'm building up to 
come or trying to make Jeannie feel magic herself. 
Kissing let's you just concentrate and feel each other 
like the other person takes up your whole entire space 
instead of only the high voltage parts. I love the 
feeling of that with Jeannie. 

Anyway we were kissing and I started getting hard again, 
so I told her to roll over on her stomach and she did. I 
got up and kneeled over her straddling her thighs so my 
cock was lying along the crack of her butt, and I leaned 
forward and started massaging her shoulders and back. 
She kind of wiggled her butt against me so I leaned all 
the way forward and pressed my front against her long 
back for a minute and then started kissing my way down. 

When I couldn't double over any more I went back to 
rubbing and massaging her and moved down a little so I 
could massage her butt. I love the way it looks and 
feels when I put the side of my hand into the crack 
there so I can massage one side, then I do the other 
side, and she arches up at me and I can see her little 
butt hole and her sexual parts moving around as I 
squeeze and massage her rear end. She's built kind of 
complicated in her sexual parts and I don't think I will 
ever get tired of exploring and looking at her.

Anyway I was getting loaded up again and needing relief 
and Jeannie said she was ready too. I lay down next to 
her on my side and she rolled up on her side facing me 
and smiled and she lifted her left knee over my hip. I 
reached down between her legs and could feel she was wet 
down there and as my finger went in she made that little 
sound of hers. I lifted my hip off the bed and she slid 
her other knee under me, so now I was lying between her 
legs and we still hadn't touched our fronts together. 

I don't know if this is a normal procedure. Anyway I had 
one finger inside of her from the front and she reached 
down to grab my cock and moved it toward where my finger 
was so I took it back out of her secret place and moved 
my hand up to her breast to play with her nipple. She 
sighed real deep and moved her hips toward me and I felt 
myself start to go inside of her so I moved my own hips 
forward to meet her and glanced down between us. 

I saw myself going up inside her, right between her legs 
which I had never seen before with anyone and I had to 
shut my eyes for a minute to calm down. When I opened 
them I could look between us without going back to 
dribble city and it was magic to see, I could see her 
breasts, one was against the bed and the other was above 
it almost resting against the first but still separated 
and I had my hand against it. 

My crotch was pressed right up against hers and I could 
feel sweet hot slippery Jeannie all around it so I 
pulled back out most of the way and saw I was all slick 
with her. I looked back up her body as I pushed myself 
back in slowly and when I got to her face she was 
watching me with her eyes half closed again and biting 
her lip which sometimes means she is nervous so I told 
she is beautiful and I love her. 

You know I meant it. Jeannie does not bore me and she 
can own me if she wants but she does not seem to want 
to, but if any part of me is worth anything at all then 
that part belongs to her if she wants it.

Anyway what was great was that I could watch my cock 
going inside of her and feel that hot slippery feeling 
all around me and this time I didn't lose everything. We 
stroked against each other slowly for a time and I moved 
my hand down her back, then along her side so I could 
feel the swell of her hip which I love, then around in 
back to feel where her leg bent up from her body. 

By reaching behind and pressing against the side of her 
crotch just inside of her legs I could feel myself 
slipping in and out of her and feel the motions she made 
with her own hips to meet my slow rhythm. I lay my hand 
down along her butt with my middle finger along the 
crack and sort of rubbed in little circles at her anus 
(I am trying to use the same words she uses) and she 
made her Jeannie sound and then kind of whimpered and I 
knew I was about to lose it so I started stroking harder 
as I felt my climax build. 

When it hit I pressed my hand against her behind as hard 
as I could so I could go all the way up into her, like I 
was trying to disappear inside of her or something, and 
then I exploded. She was making her noises and saying my 
name and as I poured myself into her I just kept saying 
"I love you Jeannie oh Jeannie I love you so much 
Jeannie" and so forth.

When it was over we still kept rocking against each 
other for awhile, then she reached behind me with her 
arms and pulled me tight against her and we just held 
onto each other like that for a long time, pressed 
together while laying on our sides. It felt like when 
she went to sleep resting her cheek on my chest at 
Thanksgiving and I could have stayed like that all 
night, only this time I was inside of her and we didn't 
have to worry about Mom and Jody. It was peaceful and I 
felt blessed again.

There. That's my first and second times and they were 
both with Jeannie and I am very glad they were with no 
one else. It might have been nice if I had also been 
Jeannie's first but actually I'm glad she knew more than 
I did or I might have jumped out the window when I was 
done being so glorious and enthralling the first time. 

Now I'm sitting here writing. When I first got here, 
after Jeannie locked the door, she offered me hot cocoa 
or a beer if I wanted one and I told her I just wanted 
to hold her. We kissed again and she started unbuttoning 
my shirt which I dropped on the floor, then she 
unbuttoned my pants. Meantime I put my hands down along 
her sides and around to her beautiful butt and squeezed 
it through her kitten T-shirt, then pulled the shirt up 
to feel her butt directly. 

She had panties on so I got to do one of my favorite 
things, I put my hands down inside her panties on her 
wonderful firm round behind and massaged and squeezed 
and stroked, then reached down further to lay my finger 
along her sexual parts. She is always wet down there by 
the time I get there and she arches her back so I can 
put my finger inside her which is what happened this 
time too. 

By this time she had her hand on my cock and was 
squeezing. I took my finger out of her center (as she 
calls it) and lifted her up by her butt and she wrapped 
her legs around me while I carried her to her bed in the 
other room. Then we finished getting undressed and I 
tasted her body from top to bottom and front to back and 
heard her make her little sounds and call out my name 
and felt her raise her middle up from the bed toward me 
as I worked on her with my tongue and hands. 

I am gradually learning her body's little secret places 
that bring magic to her. These are wonderful secrets to 
know.

Then she did the same for me and I exploded into her 
mouth and then we went to sleep without cocoa or beer or 
anything but each other. We woke up once about 4 in the 
morning and I had a sleep hard-on so she pulled me over 
to her while we were half asleep, lying on our sides 
again which I think is my favorite position so far, not 
that we have tried that many. I sank my cock inside her 
as she pushed her hips forward to meet me and we had a 
long slow peaceful screw, then we went back to sleep in 
each other's arms and it felt fine.

The next morning she made breakfast and got dressed and 
went to her classes. I washed the dishes and just kind 
of day dreamed about her until she got back. Then we 
went out walking around the town and she showed me 
places and we had hamburgers and walked through the 
campus and went home and I cooked spaghetti and we made 
love a couple of times and talked for hours and finally 
went to sleep again. This is the kind of day I could 
enjoy all the time. I could make my life out of days 
like this.

This morning with the curtains closed we had coffee 
together naked and she told me about her Internet notes 
and asked if I wanted to read them. I said yes, so she 
turned on her computer and told me to sit and read the 
notes which she put on the screen. I did and it blew me 
away. I found out that what happened back when I was 
tied up in bed with pulleys and ropes after my wreck was 
as important to her as it was to me. Then I read about 
our Thanksgiving reunion which seemed in her note like 
it was all about s ex but was really about a lot more if 
you ask me.

I'll admit that when I told her I always dreamed about 
her I meant I day dreamed about her a lot which didn't 
help my grades and also that she was usually right there 
in my mind naked with me when I jacked off. I already 
told about waking up goopy from dreaming about her so I 
didn't exactly lie to her about the dreams. I just 
didn't want to seem freaky by being crude so I said 
dreaming and left it like that. 

Now it turns out she thought about me when she 
masturbated too. I never would have thought of that, it 
made me feel good. I wonder if girls have wet dreams 
like boys. Girl versions I mean. I probably didn't pay 
attention in sex ed.

Anyhow when I read her sex notes I naturally got this 
screaming woody. It was great because she came over and 
sat down on my lap, facing me with one leg on either 
side and my cock up inside her. I started to try to hump 
up at her but she said "Shhhh" and then told me to 
settle down and keep reading, then she kind of pressed 
up against me and did not move around much while I read 
but sometimes I could feel her taking a deep breath. 
Then she started squeezing my cock with her vagina which 
is quite a feeling, I heard about that before but I 
figured it was just a story. 

Jeannie does a lot of stuff that most girls probably 
don't know how to do, she just seems to know how 
naturally, which is not something I will complain about. 
If she didn't enjoy it so much or hadn't decided to love 
me I would not be this happy.

A lot of what we did over Thanksgiving sounds kind of 
dirty the way she told it but just felt loving and 
tender at the time, of course it was also way hot. 
Jeannie says she just wants to write down everything 
accurately like a journalist and if reading it gets me 
all excited then she did a good job of telling how it 
was since we were both awfully excited while it 
happened. 

She says she wants to never forget how intense it was. 
"We were breathing steam" is what she said about it 
being intense. I like the way she talks and writes.

Right after I finished reading her notes while she was 
still hugged up to me on the chair I asked if what we 
were doing was wrong. She said she didn't know and what 
did I think. I told her I didn't want it to be wrong, it 
felt so natural I wanted it to last forever. I said I 
wished I could find out I was adopted so we wouldn't 
have to worry about it. She laughed and wriggled up 
against me to hug tighter which moved her against me 
where I was inside her, so I moved around against her in 
response and one thin g led to another.

I like screwing in different positions because it lets 
me experience Jeannie in different ways. Sitting on me 
in the chair her face was even with mine and I could 
photograph her in my mind as we built up to trade our 
energies, as Jeannie puts it. She has a lot of cool ways 
to describe coming. Or cumming but Jeannie doesn't spell 
it that way. 

I think she will need a stronger computer chair because 
I almost broke it by leaning as far back as I could to 
photograph her in my mind while I played with her 
breasts and we moved against each other and built up our 
energies. When Jeannie comes her face gets all inward 
and she kind of curls one side of her mouth out, her 
lips I mean, and she moves her head down and to the side 
while she takes little raggedy breaths and makes her 
Jeannie noises. Sometimes she says my name which I like 
a lot. Sometimes I call out her name too.

She said I should write this from my own viewpoint so I 
did. I am very lucky and I feel sorry for other people 
who do not have Jeannie to make them as happy as I am.

- By Jeannie's Brother Rich -

NEXT DAY

This is Sunday morning and since Jeannie didn't send 
this out yet I read her introduction and now I feel like 
adding some more, skip the rest of this if you like.

This morning I did the dishes from last night while she 
snoozed in the other room. When I finished I went in to 
watch her sleep for awhile and she opened her eyes and 
saw me and smiled then she went back to sleep still 
smiling and I took a picture for my mind. She had one 
leg bent up so she was half on her side and half on her 
stomach and her hair was all tousled on the pillow. 

Her arm and her naked shoulder were outside the covers, 
we generally wind up sleeping naked for one reason or 
another but usually for one reason in particular. 
Jeannie sleeping all tousled and naked and peaceful 
under the covers is a good picture.

Last night about 4 in the morning I woke up and went to 
the bathroom to pee. Jeannie seemed to be asleep when I 
got back so I settled in and dozed off. The next thing I 
knew she woke me up by getting me to grow hard inside 
her mouth. 

That's an unbelievable feeling to wake up to. She did it 
once before, after my bicycle accident. 

I let her play with me like that until my energy started 
to build, then I twisted us around so I could taste her 
too. When I let loose in her mouth and felt her tongue 
against me swallowing I sucked at her little nubbin and 
stroked it with my tongue and stuck a finger into her 
vagina and another into her butt because I can tell she 
likes it. 

She was making Jeannie noises and then her legs 
tightened against my head and she hunched her center 
toward me and had an orgasm just as I was finishing 
mine, I tried to help her draw it out as long as I 
could, she can come for lots longer than me sometimes. 
Then she smiled up at me and we turned around and pulled 
up the blanket and she cuddled up against me with her 
head on my chest like she did that first time at 
Thanksgiving, then she closed her eyes and went right 
back to sleep. 

I lay there holding her in my arms all naked and 
peaceful and I felt joyful and lucky. I didn't want to 
go back to sleep but then after awhile I did.

Tomorrow I will go home because Jeannie has some tests 
to study for but she'll be back for Xmas a few days 
after. I can't get enough of being with her and holding 
her and playing with her body and making love and 
talking with her and taking walks holding hands (she 
introduced me to a friend as Rich today not "my brother 
Rich") and falling asleep together and waking up 
together to do it all some more. 

I hope I can come to this college next year. Maybe it 
would seem okay for a brother and sister to share an 
apartment if she wants to. Maybe we can pretend we're 
not related. Or maybe she'll want to stop, which would 
make me sad but now I could handle it better than before 
I came down here and found out it is just as real for 
her as it is for me. 

I love Jeannie. Every bit of me, I love Jeannie and will 
love her for as long as she lets me, then I will love 
her as a brother if that's all I can do. But I will 
never stop loving her one way or another. There's 
nothing wrong with incest if you love and respect each 
other. That's how I feel about it.

- By Rich -

***

FROM THE EDITOR

I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact 
with a family member, and what impact that had on your 
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or 
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:

 ...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)

 ...at what age

 ...who initiated the activity, and

 ...how you feel about it now

Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story 
will only be used to continue these postings. If you 
would like to share your story, please send mail to 
RankAmateur@writeme.com.

NOTE: From now on I will make the even issues of the 
digest one long contribution, and odd issues will be 
compilations as before. As long as I keep getting 
lengthy contributions, of course!

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 19

Ed. note: This issue contains a couple of borderline 
fantasies (q.v. Freud and Nancy Friday: the most 
fervently desired events, perhaps even with a germ of 
truth, become seared in our minds as real as if they 
truly occurred). 

While my interest is more in experiences than fantasy, I 
include these for two reasons: I don't like to judge my 
contributors, and they are interesting in their own 
right as different explorations of the incest theme.

***

From: Jack

My relationship with my sister began one Summer night 
shortly after her 17th birthday; I was 14 and in the 
throes of puberty. She was a fairly well-developed young 
woman who had just broken up with her steady boyfriend. 
Our relationship had never been close, and was 
particularly bad this week. 

She had caught me sniffing a pair of her panties I'd 
retrieved from the hamper - I'd wanted to know what a 
female smelled like "there" - and needed something to 
fuel a masturbatory fantasy. 

She'd asked me what I was doing. I mumbled something 
apologetic amidst her threats of telling our parents. I 
assumed she wouldn't follow through, as she rarely did. 
Plus I thought I detected a gleam of fascination with me 
holding her panties to my face.

She was in a particularly bad mood that weekend, as our 
parents were away for a business trip, and she was 
assigned to stay at home for the weekend and "babysit" 
me. 

She made no secret of how disgusted she was at being 
"grounded," and fully blamed my presence on earth for 
her troubles. I was staying well clear of here, watching 
television in the family room while she played some 
music in our parent's bar, or entertainment area.

When she came into the family room, I thought I detected 
an odor of wine on her breath, as she had a fondness for 
wine coolers. She'd bathed earlier, and was wearing a 
thin cotton robe over some sort of "baby doll" pajama 
outfit. Her shapely, tanned legs had always fascinated 
me, and I tried to ignore their attractiveness now.

She sat across from me on the couch, stretching those 
long, shapely legs out on front of her. Her pretty face 
was flushed from the wine, contrasting nicely with her 
sun-bleached hair.

"What were you doing with my panties the other day?" she 
asked, her words slurring slightly from the wine.

I mumbled something incoherent, hoping she'd drop the 
subject, as it really embarrassed me. She kept after it 
however, and I finally had to admit my desire.

"I wanted to see what a girl smelled like down there," I 
confessed. This seemed to please her, as a smile crept 
over her face.

"Why didn't you just ask?"

Her question surprised me, as she had always tried to 
deny my existence. I told the truth.

"I didn't think you'd let me, if you knew I wondered."

"Did you find out what you wanted to know?" came her 
teasing reply.

"No, you came in before I could find out." Emboldened, I 
added, "Besides, I'd tried it before, but I guess they 
were in the hamper too long."

"Why don't you try a fresh pair, then?" she asked, a 
mischievous grin spreading cross her pretty, tanned 
face.

I could only gulp out an intelligible reply...figuring 
the wine had the best of her.

"Do you want to smell the pair I'm wearing now?" As she 
asked me, she stood up, and placing her hands under her 
robe, dropped her pair of panties to the floor.

My eyes fastened on them, mesmerized. I was afraid to 
move, not wanting to break the mood, also realizing that 
I had a boner under my own pajamas. She hooked them with 
the toes of her foot, and kicked them across the room to 
me. I caught a fleeting glance of her pubic hair as she 
kicked them to me, and felt my hardness stiffen even 
more.

"Go ahead, see what it smells like," she commanded.

Picking them up, I could feel her dampness on the silky 
crotch of her underpants. Unable to resist, I raised 
them to my face, inhaling the fantastic flavor. I wanted 
them to stay on my nose forever.

"Like it?" Her question interrupted my reverie.

I could only nod and grunt, not trusting my own voice or 
emotions. Her next question totally floored me.

"Want to smell the real thing?" She'd remained standing 
opposite me, her hands on her hips in a challenging 
pose.

I was mute. I wanted to accept her challenge, but was 
...well, afraid to proceed. She turned with a swirl her 
open robe revealing her parted thighs barely covered by 
the top of her outfit. She walked to the stairs with a 
twitch of her hips. She looked at me with a grin, and 
offered again, "If you want to, I'll be upstairs."

With that she went up the steps, where our two bedrooms 
and adjacent bath made up the entire upstairs.

It didn't take me long to decide..I turned off the TV 
and went up the stairway, my heart pounding in my 
throat. At the top of the stairs I paused, not sure of 
whether to go to her room, or to my own and masturbate 
with her panties in my face (I still held them.) 
Gathering my nerve, I tapped on her door, saying "You 
left these downstairs."

"Bring them in," she commanded. I opened the door and 
entered her room. The lights were out, but her body on 
the bed was illuminated by the moonlight streaming 
through the windows. She still wore the baby doll top, 
but no robe hid her long, gorgeous legs which were 
beautifully displayed. I stood there mute, unable to 
decide on how to proceed. She took care of that.

"Are you taking me up on my offer?" she asked teasingly. 
Before I could answer, she parted her legs, saying "Go 
ahead. It's OK. See what a real female smells like."

Moving to the foot of her bed, I sat down between her 
feet. Taking charge, she parted her legs even more, 
saying "It's up here, you'll have to lean over."

Bracing myself on my elbows, I slid between those 
shapely, tanned thighs. Even before my face got close I 
could detect a musky flavor I'd never noticed before, 
even sniffing her panties. I thought I could see her 
golden pubic hair and paused a few inches above the 
treasure between her legs, unsure of how to proceed.

I then felt her hands clasping the back of my head, 
drawing my face down, between the juncture of her 
thighs.

***

From: Brad

My sister and I are 17 years old, and have been enjoying 
sex with each other for two and a half years. We started 
when drunk and being left home alone, and whilst 
watching a soft-core porno on TV she noticed the bulge 
in my pants.  

She got curious and asked to let her touch it - she then 
copied the 'actors' on the TV and went down on me. 

We talked about it afterwards, agreed we both enjoyed 
it, and have continued regular full penetration in 
secret, as we still live with our folks.

***

From: Dennis

You asked so here it goes when I was 10 my older brother 
was 13 he would masturbate me and later would suck me 
off and then have me suck him off I rather liked it and 
started to like his advances I didn't at first. 

We had many 69 encountered for several years until he 
was sent to a military school. A few years later I 
started with my younger brother. 

In adult life we have never talked about it? Why I don't 
know. If you want more email me it feels good to talk 
about after all these years.

***

From: Connie

When I was 13 I was already obsessed with sex to some 
extent. My first orgasm came at a young age, perhaps 7, 
when I was molested (though not unwillingly) by two 
gardeners employed by my family. 

They did not speak English very well, other than a few 
well-chosen obscene terms, but they made their 
intentions clear. They took me into a small garden shed 
where they made me lie down on some sort of grain or 
feed sacks. 

I'll never forget how excited I was when they pulled off 
my panties, spread my legs and began touching my 
hairless pussy. I felt a thrill go through me when one 
of them whispered something about little pussy, even 
though I didn't know what that was at the time. 

They played with me for a long time and made me lick and 
kiss their cocks. (I discovered later that my 11 year 
old brother was outside watching through the window, 
trying to decide what to do. 

He later admitted that since he could see I was smiling 
and laughing, he ended up jacking off while the two men 
put their fingers in me and deposited their cum on my 
face and belly. 

I remember they wiped me off with rags and warned me not 
to tell anyone - as if I would? I just went back and 
took a bath, and an early nap. 

Although my brother and I ended up playing with each 
other whenever we had the chance, we never quite had the 
courage to actually fuck and then he went away to 
school.

I was desperate to have sex, but still afraid of getting 
a "reputation" at school. Other girls my age did not 
even suck boys off, let alone fuck them. My mother 
married, again, when I was 12. 

Malcolm, my new stepfather liked to give spankings, and 
those spankings began to change. First with the panties 
on, then with the panties down a bit, then with them off 
completely, then just in my bra, then, finally, I was 
told to strip completely for my punishment. 

His fingers kept brushing the new crop of soft hair on 
my crotch, but still he didn't actually do anything, 
even when I squirmed a bit trying to get his fingers 
closer.

Then, one night, he came home and caught me making out 
on the couch with a 16-year old boy. My blouse was open 
and I was on my knees sucking the boy's hard-on. Malcolm 
sent him out the door still trying to get his dick back 
in his pants, and hauled me upstairs. Suddenly I knew 
that would be the night, and it was. 

At first he ripped my clothes off harshly, and turned me 
over his knee. But I could feel the enormous bulge in 
his trousers as he reddened my ass. Then he made me 
kneel in front of him as he sat on the bed. 

He interrogated me about my activities, wanting to know 
if I'd let any of those boys stick their cocks in my 
pussy. He'd never used such language and I could feel 
myself getting wetter and wetter. He made me use the 
words, too. 

I couldn't get away with a "yes" or a "no" answer. He 
showed me that he had discovered the cache of hard core 
porn magazines I had stolen from him and from my 
stepbrother, and hidden in my dresser drawer. He made me 
point to the pictures I liked (the ones of women tied up 
and spread open, being roughly handled), made me read 
the captions out loud and describe what was going on. 

He told me, finally, if I wanted to be a slut, I would 
certainly be HIS slut. I felt myself trembling. He was 
going to fuck me, for real. He made me kneel between 
legs and unzip his trousers, and wrap my hands around 
his thick, hard, meaty cock. "I saw you licking that 
kid's dick downstairs, so I know you know how to do it. 
Start sucking, my sweet little bitch!"

That first night, he came first in my mouth, then he 
enjoyed my virgin cunt. It hurt, but not as much as I 
thought it might. And I wanted it so bad, but he 
wouldn't let me want it, if you know what I mean. He 
made sure that I knew he was in charge, he was the boss, 
he owned my pussy. 

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 20

My New Stepsister

My parents got divorced when I was eleven and my mother 
immediately remarried. She dragged my little sister and 
I from our sleepy Florida town to a city up north, into 
the new family's big old house in the burbs. We were 
thrown into an entirely new situation that included a 
new stepfather, a cat, three dogs and my new stepsister 
Linda.

She was just six weeks older than me, and we became 
instant friends. She introduced me to the kids in the 
hood, among other things. I don't know whether it was 
from my having been to a Catholic elementary school or 
what, but she couldn't believe how naive I was. 

I knew how the "S" word was spelled, but had never heard 
it spoken aloud - until she said it, no doubt causing me 
to gasp in shock. When she said the "F" word, I didn't 
bat an eye because I had never even heard of it. Then 
she explained what it meant, and at first I couldn't 
believe her. 

My mom? And your Dad? Do that? No way! After mulling it 
over for a while, I found that it might be an 
explanation for some things I had already observed. When 
I questioned my mother, I could tell by her evasive 
choice of words and her attitude that it was the truth.

Linda had also enlightened me about a few other choice 
words and expressions, such as BONER and BLOWJOB. 
Whether from the erotic suggestion or from my natural 
progression into adolescence, soon I began to get my own 
boners. 

I think that I had played "doctor" with anyone that 
would join me, as far back as I can remember. With this 
new combination of Linda, her budding young body, her 
knowledge, her lack of inhibitions, and my newfound 
boners - this was becoming really interesting.

When I would start to sport in the evenings, I would run 
excitedly from my room into hers. Closing the door, I 
would show it to her, proudly, sticking right up out of 
my pj's. She would grab it and stroke it gently, which 
felt great. 

One time she even popped it into her mouth, which was 
really fabulous. I would love to entertain you with a 
nice detailed blowjob story (my whole life would 
probably be different!); but the truth is that I was a 
hairless young boy who had never had an orgasm yet, and 
it was only for half a minute, anyway.

Time marched on and hair grew. My friend Carl showed me 
how to jerk off by rubbing the head of my dick with a 
soft blanket, and I have been pretty well hooked ever 
since (though I don't use a blanket anymore, and it's 
more like once per week now instead of five times per 
day!) 

I began to want - and need - some serious sex. 
Unfortunately, Linda was maturing faster and was 
beginning to distance herself from me, either in favor 
of actual dates with boyfriends or because she had real 
tits now. In any case, she was becoming more inhibited.

I will never know how far she went with these dates, 
because she wouldn't share this type of information 
anymore. But one thing I did know: she still had an itch 
that needed scratching. I knew because of a weird little 
game that we developed.

I never cared much about backrubs, but Linda (and most 
women, I have found) love them. Since our parents were 
always out on Saturday nights, we would be home alone in 
her room watching the double feature monster movies. The 
only light would be from the little black and white TV 
set, and we would be lazing around in our pj's. Linda 
would ask, "Give me a backrub, would you?"

I can still picture it now. She is sitting to my right 
on the edge of the daybed, and she moves her legs up 
behind me and lies down on her stomach with her face 
towards the TV. Her firm little butt is just touching 
mine. I reached up under her pajama top and begin to 
scratch her back gently with my fingernails, making 
little circles around her shoulders. I keep moving these 
circles around to include her shoulder- blades and the 
center of her back. Then I changed to using my fingers 
and the flat of my hand to press firmly against her. 
This causes the pajama top to ride up at least halfway. 
I continued rubbing her all over her back. Her eyes are 
closed now.

I gently ask, "Linda?" and get no response. Is she 
asleep? I am not sure; let's find out. I know that she 
would never let me feel her up if she were awake. I 
slowly moved my left hand down under her armpit, 
massaging all the way. 

As I continued further down her ribcage, soon I was at 
the place where the breast swells out. Her boobs were 
small, like grapefruit halves, but there was no 
mistaking the smooth curve, accented even more because 
she was lying on them. 

The bad news was that I couldn't reach the nipple, but I 
got so excited tickling her soft skin that I started to 
get a raging boner.

Technically, this wasn't a "back" rub anymore, and I was 
prepared to retreat fast if she woke up and said 
anything. But she didn't - not yet, anyway. 

I gently reached my right hand over to her left shoulder 
and pulled her up slightly. My left hand snaked gently 
under towards the nipple. My heart stopped as she 
mumbled in her sleep! She twisted onto her right side, 
bending her knees slightly behind me. 

Her pajama top was still halfway up her chest. She still 
appeared to be sleeping soundly. Now I could stroke my 
hand slowly up her side under the pajama top, stopping 
at the curve of her breast. 

I kept smoothly rubbing her, not yet working up to the 
coveted nipple. This was partly due to a lack of courage 
on my part (I really did't want to get caught and piss 
her off) and partly due to the bothersome question: is 
this a form of rape?

Of my various fantasies, my violent raping of a woman 
was not one I particularly enjoyed. Although I was still 
a virgin. In my heart I was a lover, not a fighter. 
Although I had to admit that certain movie rape scenes 
have caused a twinge in my dick. Still it ranks way on 
down near the bottom of the list, right near the one 
where I pop some other guy's dick in my mouth. These 
thoughts have crashed some of my fantasy parties, but 
they were never invited.

I like to think that I don't have a violent or malicious 
bone in my body. If anything, I love Linda and will 
admit it if pressed. However, one specific bone in my 
body is winning the internal struggle. Yes, even at my 
tender age of fourteen I am already learning the life 
lesson of thinking with my little head.

Slowly but surely I inch my fingertips up over the curve 
of her left breast. At last I find the little bump, 
sticking up firmly. It feels nothing like mine, which 
are just little flaps of limp skin. Her nipple is more 
like part of an ear - hard but pliable. I rub it between 
my thumb and fingers, and it gets even harder and 
bigger. Linda gives a little moan. 

Quickly I jerk my hand back and put it in my lap on top 
of my throbbing dick. As I watch her, Linda still seems 
to be sleeping. I notice that she must be clenching her 
thighs together, because she is flexing her left thigh 
and her butt muscles. She then shifts a little bit so 
that her left leg bends some more, gently kneeing me in 
the back, and her right leg straightens out some. 

This is great news, because my desire to feel her tits 
was nothing compared to my desire to investigate her 
pussy.

She is wearing these little shorty loose-fitting 
bottoms, with elastic on the legs. I shift around 
sideways to get better access with my hand, but there 
isn't room on the daybed anymore so I just sit on the 
floor. Actually, I kneel up and over her thighs and 
gently pull the elastic band up from her exposed left 
leg. 

I slowly snake my right hand up under the fabric. Her 
bare skin feels really hot and smooth. I am so excited 
now that I feel I could squirt in the air without even a 
single touch to my dick. My hand continues up to the 
curve of her butt. I find I have to move my elbow down 
by her knee to contort my arm to continue up under the 
elastic barrier. 

I slowly move up over the curve until my hand is cupping 
her left cheek. Then I slowly spin it down, sideways, 
into her crack. The fabric is partially in my way now, 
but with the progress that my fingertips made I can feel 
extreme heat and the fuzzy edges of her pubic hair.

I drop the leg band from my left hand so that it rests 
up on my right forearm. I move it over her butt and tug 
the crotch down and away from her pussy area. She 
actually wiggles a little bit to help make it happen! 

My right hand is now touching the back end of her labia, 
through the fuzz. I have never been this far with a girl 
before, although I guess it doesn't really count since 
we're not making out or anything. I start to trail my 
right fingertips down over her pussy lips, watching her 
face carefully in case she wakes up. 

Her mouth is slightly open and she is breathing audibly, 
but not like a sound sleep type of slow rhythm. Her butt 
is starting to quiver a little as though she is cold. I 
wonder if I should cover her up with a blanket.

Instead I keep working my fingertips around over her 
labia all the way to the front of her pussy, where it 
gets seriously hairy. I move back up and over the 
mysterious folds toward her butt again, and this time I 
detect a spot that feels a little bit slippery. 

I start rubbing my finger back and forth where it slides 
so easily, and freeze as Linda makes a little moaning 
noise. She is quivering a lot more now and sort of 
working her left leg back and forth slightly as though 
she were running in place. Her eyes are firmly shut. I 
continue rubbing, but my eyes are glued to hers, just in 
case.

As I slip up and down the slick spot on her pussy lips, 
the slippery area starts to grow. My fingertips travel 
farther as the available distance increases. Linda 
continues to quiver. I then notice that my finger is 
actually slipping down between some of the folds. I am 
still rubbing back and forth, but within the folds now. 

I press inwards to try to get inside, but - no dice. I 
move back up to the top of the folds and discover 
another inner space, even wetter. This time my fingers 
slide in easily - it's even wetter in here. My middle 
and ring fingers are in up to the nails. 

Linda makes a little whimper and her quivering is a 
little more jerky and sporadic, not like a shiver from 
the cold. I withdraw my ring finger and insert my middle 
finger up to the first knuckle, but my arm is getting to 
be really contorted now and her top leg is kind of in 
the way. 

I put my left hand down behind her top knee and gently 
tug it up so that her legs are more spread apart, 
watching her face the whole time. She slides right up, 
but her pajama bottoms are tending to move with her. 

I withdraw my hand totally, reluctantly. But her left 
leg is now about ninety degrees up from her lower leg, 
almost at the edge of the daybed.

My knees are killing me, but in my excitement I hadn't 
noticed. There is now room for me up on the bed, between 
her legs and below her left foot. I move up there, 
behind her. 

This time I go for her lower, straight right leg and 
grab the fabric from the crotch area and gently pull it 
out away from her. There is more room to move here; in 
fact, I think I can pull the elastic out far enough to 
see her pussy. 

The light from the TV is not enough to see very well, 
but I stick my head right down there to look. All I can 
see is a mass of dark curly hair, but - Oh, my God - the 
heavenly smell! It hadn't even occurred to me that I 
would be able to smell it.

My nose is very sensitive - maybe I should have been a 
wine-taster. I am completely bowled over by the aroma 
that those slippery juices give off. If I hadn't loved 
Linda before, I fell head over heels now. I move closer 
and closer to her secret perfume spot with my face, 
inhaling the air deeply. 

I have since learned that the buzz I am enjoying is 
caused by a group of chemicals called "pheromones" - but 
right now I don't care about a thing except not waking 
Linda up. As I get closer to her pussy, I can see a 
little better. 

I can barely make out the labia; they are sort of puffed 
up and out - not like little sister's when I saw her in 
the bathtub. I have the elastic pulled as far as 
possible out to her bent left leg in an attempt to get 
as close as possible. 

I am on my knees bent down with my butt in the air and 
my face inches from her pussy. My aching dick feels like 
it is made of stone. I am having a hard time trying to 
inhale as deeply as possible but without exhaling so 
much that she will feel my breath on her.

I get really daring and stick my tongue out to touch her 
labia. From this close, the aroma is making my head spin 
into total euphoria. I move even closer and lick gently 
up and down. I can hear Linda moan, so I jerk upright; 
her eyes are still shut tight, although she is writhing 
and humping her lower body slightly. I get back down 
immediately and plunge my tongue right in. 

My nose goes right up to her butthole, but the pussy 
aroma is all I can notice - all I live for at this 
moment. Linda moans and straightens her bent left leg, 
and turns back onto her tummy, giving me a heart attack 
and forcing my head out quickly; then I see that she has 
bent both legs and pointed her butt up into the air, 
sleeping like a little baby!

After a second, I grab her butt gently and wait for a 
response - nothing. I grab the waistband of her pajama 
bottoms and slowly pull them down over her hips and then 
the curve of her butt. I can get them all the way down 
to past her leg bands. Her pussy is fully exposed now, 
and I can see it better with the improved lighting 
angle. 

The labia are still a series of secretive folds, but the 
big mystery is gone because there are two distinct 
halves visible. I take my middle finger and gently 
plunge it between these halves. To my surprise, she 
wiggles back on it, impaling it further than I would 
have even dared. 

She is moaning and quivering now, with my finger up her. 
The rest of my fingers are in the way of further 
penetration, so I remove it and insert my index finger 
instead. She moans and wiggles back on it more! The 
walls of her pussy feel like the softest slippery silk, 
like the inside of a little but deep toothless mouth.

I curve my finger a bit to investigate this new 
territory. About an inch up, I can feel a somewhat round 
shape towards the front. I am guessing that this must be 
the "cherry" - it is just the right shape and size. How 
interesting - it is not a resisting barrier. 

I guess she must have gone all the way already with 
someone. It feels as though another finger might fit in 
her, so I pull my index out and add my already wet 
middle finger. 

As I continue probing and stroking the sides, she moans 
and wiggles spasmodically. Since she still pushes back, 
and since I don't feel any resistance, and since my dick 
is leaking all kinds of slick juice from the excitement, 
I wonder whether I could get away with positioning 
myself to stick it in.

I get up to where it is close, but her butt is not far 
back enough to make contact without actually laying on 
top of her. I guess I could do it if there were a 
trapeze hanging from the ceiling. 

There is just not going to be a way to get in her 
without waking her up, and I bet she would kill me if 
she wakes up and finds out what is going on.

Oh, well. I have food for solo fantasies for the rest of 
my life now, without the ultimate violation. Anyway, I 
don't have a rubber; what if she got pregnant?

As a consolation, I decide to try to at least lick her 
pussy - something I have only heard about. This time I 
stand up and put my left foot over her on the far side 
of the daybed so that I am straddling her and looking at 
her butt upside down. With my left hand I pull her 
pajama bottoms just a little further down her legs; I 
straighten my right arm on the daybed and lean way over. 

I swoop my face down to that beautiful and mysterious 
spot once again. With my face nearly upside down, my 
nose is bumping right up against the front of her slit, 
and if I thought the smell was great before - it was 
even better now.

Without hesitating I plunge my tongue into her. She 
moans again and shoves her butt up to my face for better 
access. I licked up the full length to the front of her 
slit and diddle around, experimenting, looking for the 
legendary clit. She begins to grunt "mmph!" as she 
starts to hump the air beneath her. 

I pop up for a second to make sure that she is still 
asleep, and then go back to town. She resumes her 
humping and grunting as I resume toying with what seems 
to be the right spot. My boner is killing me, aching to 
plunge into her. I keep on flicking my tongue back and 
forth, in and out, and she keeps on gyrating her hips 
around, faster and faster, around and around. 

As she keeps getting even wetter, I am finding out that 
the taste of her pussy juice is wonderful. I have never 
been this turned on in my short life, and I can't tell 
whether it's because of the smell, the taste, or the 
texture - but it certainly is her pussy that's causing 
it.

I am getting carried away, constantly flicking my tongue 
even faster and covering her entire pussy with my mouth 
as though we were having a really wild and sloppy French 
kiss. Sometimes I slow my tongue down to gauge her 
reaction, which she unconsciously makes clear by her 
moans and by the wiggling of her butt; sometimes I move 
it in and out, sometimes in circles one way and then the 
other, sometimes back and forth, sometimes in 
combinations of these.

After a few minutes of this, her humping just can't get 
any faster. I can't really tell if her hips are moving 
now - they are locked rigid, motionless, yet at the same 
time they are moving so fast that they seem to be 
vibrating. 

Oh, man; I think she may be coming! The very idea is so 
exciting that I'm afraid my dick is going to explode. 
Her pussy is starting to make these gulping noises, kind 
of like farts, but more like kissing the air. Also, each 
time she exhales she is letting out a really long 
grunting sound; it sounds like some African animal 
charging. 

She makes these loud groans for at least five or six 
breaths. Now I'm more worried that she will wake HERSELF 
up.

I am not sure whether to hang on tight or run away 
before she wakes up. I decide to stand up and get ready 
to bolt. Still trembling, her hips very slowly sink down 
to the surface of the daybed. 

I pull her pajama bottoms up over her butt at the last 
minute. In the glow from the TV test pattern, I look at 
her closed eyes once again and notice that she has sort 
of rosy cheeks and a very light glow of sweat all over 
her face. 

She is beginning to breathe more normally as I leave the 
room. At the top of the stairs, before going down to my 
own room, I grab my swollen dick and give it one really 
good hard squeeze. Without even a single pull, I gasp as 
I shoot out all over the stairway wallpaper. 

Through my blurred vision I can see a big blob of my goo 
on the far wall, way up near the ceiling. I don't think 
I can reach that high to wipe it off, even if I wanted 
to.

* * *

So... about this game: was she feigning sleep or not? I 
suspect so but I will never know for sure. But I do know 
that there were many other such incidents. I can 
remember at least once that she BEGGED me to come 
upstairs and rub her back. But sometimes I couldn't take 
the frustration of the one-way trip.

If only she had said, "I'll make it worth your while..." 
THAT'S the real food for some of my fantasies, even 
today, 30 years later.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 21

From: Hal

I am a son that has had sex with his dad. This story is 
lengthy, but it needs to be in order to capture the 
events that led to our sexual experience together. Over 
the years, many men have asked me questions about my 
relationship with my father. I think this story explains 
it all.

My story began in 1978 when I was 16 and a sophomore in 
high school. I was very horny and definitely gay but had 
not had sex with anyone yet. I used to masturbate 2-3 
times a day. I bought Playgirl and Hustler magazines to 
masturbate with.

One day I walked into my very good looking 48-yr old 
dad's bathroom and there he was stark naked. I was 
immediately aroused by his hairy body and fat cock and 
balls. I stared and stammered and he talked to me but I 
didn't hear a thing because I was completely focused on 
his cock. 

I believe that moment planted the seed in his head that 
he had a queer son, which might become useful someday.

About a week later, he and I were the only ones and 
home. It was a Saturday morning. I took a shower and was 
drying off when someone knocked on my door. I knew it 
was my father so I opened the door. I was as naked as he 
was previously. 

His eyes went right to my cock! I got very nervous but 
didn't move. I wanted him to see my large cock and be 
proud. But I started getting an erection so I put a 
towel around myself.

After he left he patted me on the back and said let's do 
something tomorrow son - just me and you.

The next day we went for lunch in the park together. Dad 
told me it was time to tell me about sex. I already knew 
everything but I let him speak. He explained what men 
and women do sexually and why. He asked me if I had any 
questions but I was too afraid to bring up my gayness at 
that point.

My dad than confided in me that he had looked outside of 
his marriage with my mother for sex a few times because 
she had turned frigid. I wasn't comfortable talking 
about my mother's sexuality but I was curious about his. 

I asked him if it had been the right thing to do and he 
told me that he was an extremely sexual and horny man 
and loved sex. So he had no choice. He said he would not 
divorce my mom over it.

About 3 days later, I was beating off in my room late 
one night and the door opened. I jumped up in fright. It 
was my dad. I had about 3 playgirl magazines on my bed 
and was bare naked with a big erection. He was smiling 
and reeked of gin. He asked me what I was doing.

He saw the magazines. I figured this was it! He would 
now know I was queer and that I loved cock. Time for a 
serious sermon. How wrong I was to be afraid.

Dad told me that I had a nice cock - just like his. He 
then said that he suspected that I was queer. He asked 
me if I liked men. I answered Yes. He asked me if I had 
ever had sex with men. I said I had not.

Well then he said, if you promise to keep this a secret, 
I will let you suck my cock anytime you want. He 
unzipped his pants and pulled out a beautiful piece of 
meat. Well? he asked. Come over son and get to know your 
father's dick.

I got down on my knees and kissed his big hairy cock. I 
held it in my hand and watch it grow. Then I licked it. 
I kept licking it and then I put it in my mouth. Dad 
moaned and slowly pushed his cock deeper in my mouth. It 
was so thrilling! I was so aroused.

Dad fucked my virgin mouth for about 10-15 minutes until 
he let off a huge wad of cum. I spit the cum out because 
I didn't know how to swallow yet. When it was over he 
asked me how I felt. I told him I liked the sex but 
would be afraid if anyone ever found out. He agreed that 
it would not be good if anyone learned of this so we 
must never mention it, just do it whenever we were 
horny.

Well, I was to find out that I had a father that was as 
horny as a 16-yr old. I was sucking him every night. He 
taught me how to lick and suck his balls and eat his cum 
as well. He bought me gay magazines and told me to study 
the way men have sex. The sucking went on for about 6 
months. 

After 6 months, dad decided he wanted to suck my cock. 
So we added 69 into our relationship. 6 months later, we 
were getting bored with our scenario. Many of the 
magazines that dad bought me showed anal sex. He asked 
me if I had thought about it and I said yes. Dad told me 
he wanted to try it soon so I should begin thinking 
about it.

One night we were having a session and dad pushed a 
finger in my asshole. It burned and caused me pain at 
first but as he sucked, he pushed it in and out in a 
rhythm. I found myself loving the feeling. So we added 
finger fucking to our relationship.

A few weeks went on and dad was getting 3 fingers in my 
ass in a session. He told me that he wanted to penetrate 
me with his penis and would I mind. I told him I wanted 
to try it.

When the night came to try it, things were fairly 
disastrous. I was unable to take his fat cock up my ass 
without a lot of pain. So we waited and he fingered me 
to exercise my hole.

One night he came in my room with vodka. We drank the 
vodka and sucked. It was that night that I was able to 
loosen up and let him fuck me. It was awesome. He fucked 
me in every position and we both came multiple times. I 
was thrilled!

We added fucking to our relationship and for the next 2 
years had regular hot sex, which fulfilled both of us.

When I left for college in another state, the sex ended. 
I was very promiscuous in college (I wonder why?). And 
had sex every weekend with men I met of picked up at gay 
bars.

When I returned home for holidays my dad and I would 
have sex but it wasn't like it used to be. I wasn't into 
it with him like I had been because I was dating some 
very nice men, and it just seemed really abnormal to be 
having sex with him again. I told him how I felt and he 
understood.

Today I am 34 and have been in a monogamous relationship 
for 3 yrs. My lover does not know about the relationship 
I once had with my father. I have never told anyone 
about it except online anonymously.

My father is 68 and looks pretty good for his age. I 
only see him about 6 times a year and he never mentions 
what we did. He is still married to my mother. He more 
or less acts as if it never even happened. But it did, 
and sometimes I think back to it and think how much fun 
it was.

In retrospect I think we did what we did because we were 
both horny men. As a gay boy, I was not going to turn 
down the opportunity to suck dick. I believe my father 
was/is a bisexual. I was the most comfortable choice for 
him to try out his bisexuality. 

As far as I know, he has not had sex with other men; 
however, I might be wrong because how the hell do I know 
what he does on his spare time. If he wanted to fuck for 
old time's sake I would be more than willing!

Hope you liked my story. It's not every son that gets to 
share such intimacy with the man whom they call Dad.

***

From: Roy

Hi, my name is Roy and I am 45 years old. At the age of 
4, or at least as far back as I can remember I was 
involved in incestrial relationships. Starting with my 
Grandfather and mother. Latter extending to my brother 
and 10 of my cousins. I eventually found out that my 
grandfather was actually my biological father and that 
one of my cousins is actually my half sister. 

By the time I was 8 years old, if I didn't feel like 
doing, I was getting paid to perform sexual favors. I 
didn't find out about my Mother and her Father's 
relationship until I was much older. Now that I think 
back about it I realize that my Mother knew what was 
going on from the start, or she wouldn't have let me 
spend night sleeping with the man that fathered me. 
Knowing that was quite hard on me and has been very hard 
to deal with. 

My Grandfather (Father) use to always say I was his boy. 
Now I know what he meant by that. I didn't know back 
when I was young that he was doing things with his other 
grandchildren. 

I thought I was the only one. I was the only one that 
use to sleep in his bed regularly. I slept with him more 
than I ever slept alone between the ages of 3 and 12. If 
you would like to hear more about my childhood as a sex 
toy please Email me.

[no response as yet]

***

From: Hawkeye

When I was 7 and my sister was 8 we had an experience 
together and it was the most terrible and traumatic 
experience of my life. It started when my parents 
befriended another couple at my father's place of 
business. The other couple also had a son and a daughter 
about our age. 

I don't know where these children learned the things 
they did, but it was obvious that they had learned about 
sex somewhere. What they knew was far from "playing 
doctor" or simple examination of each other's genitals. 

My sister and myself knew nothing about any of this and 
it was all new and appeared to be just like another 
game.

Eventually, we paired off. Me, with the other girl, and 
my sister with the other boy. I remember taking my erect 
penis and sliding it up and down the girls' small 
hairless vagina. It was incredible! 

I realize now that I had an orgasm. Of course, there was 
no ejaculation, but just the same, I felt the immense 
tingling at the base of my abdomen that is a normal 
result of having an orgasm and cumming. I was in heaven.

Whenever these other two children came over, we would 
pair up the same way always. I never asked my sister 
what happened with her, but I am sure it was probably 
similar activities. 

Well, one day I was at home (if memory serves) and me 
and my sister started to get it on. She told me that she 
didn't want to, but I said that it would be fun. She 
said that mom and dad would get mad, but I ignored it 
and continued. 

I basically did to her what I did with the other girl 
(just slide up and down). And I had an orgasm again. It 
was very good. I was a child, and all I knew is that I 
liked what I felt. There was no morality or taboo 
issues. It just felt good and I didn't know any better.

One day, out of a naive and innocent idea that she 
thought she might get pregnant, my sister told my mom 
what was going on. My mom in turn told my father (the 
biggest mistake in my lifetime). 

I remember my father ordering me into his room with my 
mother sitting on the other side of the bed. He pushed 
me on to the bed. The only question that I can remember 
him asking me is if I "...put it in."

I quickly retorted out of fear "no!" I saw light, and 
heard an eerie brushing sound come from the side of my 
head. Then the pain. Then I opened my glassy eyes and 
saw his fist balled up with his education ring 
spearheading his hand. Over and Over. The pain was not 
the worst part. It was the shame. I don't think that he 
knew that my sister and I had any sexual contact, but he 
told me that I was an animal and that what I was doing 
was disgusting. 

I remember him saying, "Now what am I going to tell 
those children's parents?" 

He blamed me, and so did I. Put yourself at that 
delicate mental age. It crushed me. He was my idol, and 
I became less than nothing. 

Later on, after I had seen a psychologist, I realized 
that it was not my fault and that my sister and I were 
the victims of a mild form of molestation by children 
that were older than we were.

To this day I still suffer the pain that was etched on 
my soul. I still have erection problems with some women 
(which is really embarrassing) until I feel comfortable 
with them. 

I think it is because in a way, I still feel that the 
act is innately bad. The point is, my incestuous 
experience was not a good one. I'll never recover and I 
still see that light and still feel the shame in one 
form or another (although you could never tell).

Another collateral result was that, after that day, I 
distanced myself from my sister and was not the loving 
brother that I could have been. My father was an animal 
and shamed me and my sister many times after that (not 
sexually). 

I wish I could have been there for her because she, as a 
young girl, was much more delicate than I. I just felt 
that I was bad and should not touch her at all. For the 
most part, that has changed now. We are very good 
friends and get along very well. 

Sometimes life is not fair. We must protect each other 
when we can.

***

A WORD FROM RANK

I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact 
with a family member, and what impact that had on your 
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or 
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:

 ...With whom (Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, etc.).

 ...At what age?

 ...Who 'wooed' who? 

 ...How you feel about your experience(s) today?
 
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story 
will only be used to continue these postings. If you 
would like to share your story, please send mail to 
RankAmateur@writeme.com.

INCEST IN THE MEDIA

There was a brief flap over the book _The Kiss_ by 
Kathryn Harrison, an author who has written in the past 
about incest issues. This is her personal account of her 
adult affair with her father, which lasted several years 
and haunts her still. The reviews were not, generally, 
good. 

Many critics felt that it was inappropriate for her to 
disclose this story, and that perhaps at some high-
culture level, it was mere publicity-seeking since her 
previous books had not been great successes. I don't 
know and I can't judge; I haven't read the book yet 
(perhaps I should add book reviews to the digest!). 

What I do find interesting is that discussion of incest 
has moved beyond the child-molestation phase and we're 
seeing a return of what you may call Freudian incest. 
(Remember that Freud made a splash a century ago by 
concluding that the "hysteria" -- today we might call it 
depression or anxiety -- of his female patients was due 
to having had affairs with their fathers.) And perhaps, 
as some charged, this is merely the end result of a 
decade of talk shows competing for our attention: 
nothing shocks. 

I am rather suspicious that the people buying that book 
are people like you and me, that is, with an erotic 
interest in incest, rather than survivors. It's almost 
as though the telling is more important for the person 
who went through it, rather than anything that might 
come out of the tale.

Another book of interest is her _Exposure_, about a 
woman whose famous-photographer father took a critically 
acclaimed series of nudes of his then-teenage daughter. 
In effect, she is going through life with her every 
secret revealed. This novel was very highly regarded at 
the time, unlike _The Kiss_.

Unexpectedly home on Friday night (okay, I didn't have a 
date), I found myself watching the new Larry Hagman 
drama _Orleans_. To my surprise it was nothing at all 
like Dallas; the producer is John Sacret Young, of 
_China Beach_ fame, and it's a very well done family 
drama mixed with some politics and policing. 

I highly recommend it on that basis alone. My other 
surprise was the plotline of that episode, which was an 
adult woman's marriage, despite her heartbreak over her 
true love -- her cousin (and in practicality, a brother, 
since they had grown up so close). 

It was handled as something they both accepted but 
needed to keep secret. Not shameful, perhaps, but at 
least very embarrassing. I don't know when it will run 
again, but watch the airwaves.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 22

Though incest is among society's strongest taboos, 
statistics show a lot of us have done it -- or are doing 
it. Whether as part of mutual exploration, seduction, or 
even abuse, incest creates enduring memories with 
emotional and erotic impact. 

This digest is one way of discussing and illuminating 
this subject. Plus, the stories are fun to share!

If you have an incest experience you would like to 
share, please send it to: RankAmateur@writeme.com. 
Anonymity guaranteed.

Disclaimer: If you don't like any of this, skip it.

***

From: Neville

Here first is some basic information about myself - I am 
the eldest of 11 children that my mum had with a variety 
of diffident men - i.e. I was born out of wedlock - she 
married and had 4 children - two boys two girls by my 
adoptive father. He walks out on us when I was about 
ten, then his place was taken by his stepbrother our 
step uncle. Me and him didn't get on, then mum dumps him 
when he went to jail.

Mum had three more boys and one girl by him before she 
booted him out, then she had a boy by a nice guy, but 
that relationship fizzled out and then she met an Irish 
guy who gave her her last baby.

I was sexually abused at the age of five by a lodger who 
was staying with us - he slept with me - abuse was the 
wrong word because I liked him sucking my penis and I 
was fascinated by the size of his equipment - sadly he 
left - but I was always keen on sex with my peer group 
and sometimes with my younger siblings. 

The major breakthrough for me occurred at ten years of 
age when my penis grew out of all proportion to my boy 
body and a boy and girl showed me the joys of 
masturbation. 

I was masturbating every day before my eleventh birthday 
- and when at 11 I went to an all boys school I started 
to become sexually attracted to boys and loved taking 
showers with my randy class mates. But I'd also been 
having weekly sexual fun with an older girl on our 
street from the age of 8 up to 16 when I joined the army 
as a boy soldier.

I became very popular with my older school mates who 
were always requesting the use of my right hand to wank 
them off - never ever refuse a boys request.

The first time I felt sexual toward my mum was one hot 
summers day during the long summer school holidays. I 
was fed-up with my mates and went home - mum was in the 
kitchen standing at the kitchen sink, hand washing some 
clothes - I leaned against the kitchen wall next to the 
sink. 

Well my eyeballs nearly fell out of their sockets. 

All mum was wearing was a wrap round apron buttoned up 
at the front - I could see her breasts completely as she 
washed the clothes unaware that her son's cock was 
twitching in his trousers. She stopped washing for some 
reason and left the kitchen - when she returned I had an 
overwhelming desire to have a cuddle with my mum.

I think I'd had a resentment of my brothers and sisters 
taking her attention away from me - I grabbed mum by 
surprise and she laughed as she asked me what I was 
doing - I was very emotional by then and replied 'Mum I 
just want a cuddle.' 

With this I leaned her against the kitchen wall. She put 
her arms around me and pulled me to her. I had my chin 
touching the top of her warm breasts and she kissed my 
face - I kissed the top of both breasts and she didn't 
say anything.

But when I undid two of the apron buttons she pushed me 
away gently and said 'We can't, somebody might walk in.' 
in those days neighbors were always popping in and out 
of each other's houses.

Any way from that moment my wanking fantasy switched 
from the streets boys and girls to almost exclusively 
about having sex with my mum.

It gets a bit complicated now - my sex life that is - as 
me and my best mate got a job on a farm - the farmer was 
gay and he introduced me to oral sex - him on my cock 
only - and he introduced me to arse fucking - again I 
fucked him and wouldn't allow him to fuck me. 

I'd been forcefully fucked by an older man I allowed to 
pick me up in public toilets when aged 12 and as he near 
strangled me it put me off letting older guys approach 
me from behind.

The second semi sexual happening occurred one early 
morning - one of my younger brothers aged about seven or 
eight had fell out with the guys he was sleeping with - 
I slept naked and with a raging hard-on I went to the 
bedroom hall and picked him up in my arms - just as mum 
stepped onto the hall to see why he was crying - she saw 
me in all my naked glory and said 'Oh are you going to 
look after him' her eyes were transfixed on to my fully 
cock and she gave me a strange smile. 

Step-uncle was still on the scene. I took my brother 
into my single bed - he was only wearing a vest so I 
took it off and I cuddled him close to my body - I was 
very turned on having him in my bed - I touched his cock 
which was stiff - he giggled as a fondled him - the more 
I touched him the more excited I got. 

I couldn't resist sucking and licking his 3 inch uncut 
cock. I then rubbed my cock over his and shot my load 
all over him - I spread my cum all over him and then 
licked it off his skin. We slept in each other's arms - 
the next morning mum came in to my bedroom - see saw 
both his vest and my pajamas on the floor because she 
picked them up and put them on the foot of the bed. 

She said 'Don't you mind him in your bed?' I pulled the 
sleeping boy closer to me and said 'Not at all.' I had 
my same brother sleep with me at every opportunity - he 
too had an early puberty like me and mum got us bigger 
bed.

He slept with me when I went home on army leave. The 
last time we slept together - he was 15 and I was 21 - 
we were doing oral and mutual masturbation - deep 
french-kissing and rubbing cocks together semi fuck 
style. We never fucked each other.

On Sunday morning I was not required to work on the farm 
that week end - I don't think the farmer could handle 
both my mate and me at the same time. I slipped my 
totally inadequate pajama bottoms on - the open fly hid 
nothing and I was a bit of a flasher to my brothers 
sisters and mum - she said nothing about me wearing 
something from which I was obviously getting sexual 
gratification. 

This Sunday morning I walked into her bedroom carrying a 
tray with two cups of tea on it - the sight which met my 
eyes was that uncle was lying across mum - they were 
having full intercourse - his head was underneath the 
bed covers and he was making a funny grunting sound. 

But what sexually aroused me was the seeing that both of 
my mother's breasts were completely exposed out from the 
top of her flimsy nightie. 

Mum looked flushed with excitement - I looked straight 
at her and she put a finger to her lips as to say - 
'keep quiet and look at me.' I smiled and felt my hard 
cock flop out from my open pajama trousers - So there we 
were smiling at each other and then the tray in my hand 
started to shaking in my trembling hands and mum 
whispered for me to leave 'You'd better go luv.' she 
said.

I went back to bed with my 8 year old brother and made 
him suck my cock - I came after about 30 seconds and my 
orgasm nearly knocked me out.

Then the greatest thing happened - uncle Tom was a 
stupid petty criminal and he got nine months in jail for 
something I've long forgotten. I figured my mother to be 
a nymphomaniac and wondered which man was going to 
replace Tom as I was certain she would not last long 
without a man with her track record.

Two weeks later when I took her tea in she said 'Nev 
stay off school today luv.' Like a prick I asked 'What 
for?' She replied 'Don't you want to keep your old mum 
company?' Her breasts were looking good - she was only 
33, as she had had me when she was 19 years old. I 
quickly replied 'Yes of course I do.' 

I walked down the stairs in a dazed trance - 'Was this 
really it' I kept thinking.

Mum came down in her see through, hides nothing, nightie 
- she sitting in her armchair which is directly opposite 
where I was sitting - all I had on was my open front 
pajama trousers - I was smoking a cigarette - Mum looked 
very nervous.

I could hardly breath - she then asked me to light her a 
fag - I stood up from my chair and my cock was exposed 
to her - I leaned over her and put her fag into her 
mouth for her - she made no effort to cover her highly 
exposed tits - but she whispered - 'you had better lock 
the doors luv, we don't want to be disturbed do we.' I 
didn't reply, because I literally couldn't speak with 
being over excited.

I went to the front hall and bolted it as well as turned 
the key - I gave my cock a few masturbation strokes 
before I reentered the living room - mums had fully 
exposed her tits out from her nightie. 

My cock was fully hard as I went to the kitchen to lock 
the back door - I removed my pajamas in the kitchen - My 
face was scarlet red as being blond I blushed very 
easily - I took a deep breath to calm me down a bit - I 
WAS GREATLY EXCITED BEING TOTALLY NAKED.

I stood before my mum naked and total naked - she looked 
very seriously at me - I felt nervous, then she smiled a 
smile which reminded me of a whore type look as she 
stood up. She kicked out from her fallen nightie and we 
embraced.

At last I could touch her tits - I could kiss her tits 
and suckle on her nipples - she then touched my very wet 
cock head and then grabbed my cock shaft - it was 
throbbing like it had never done before.

Christ, she was guiding my six inch boy cock into her 
very comforting warm wet cunt slit - her cunt felt 
better than the four girls cunts it had experienced - 
she gripped me and started rolling her hips - she grips 
by buttocks and starts to encourage me to do the 
intercourse movements - I grab her buttocks - we look at 
each other - joined together - we kiss - she guides our 
sexed up bodies to the floor of the living room.

She quickly guides my cock into her wet cunt - I rest on 
my elbows and give a few testing thrusts into her - she 
immediately starts lifting her hips to get my cock fully 
impaled into her cunt - she's shagging me as much as I 
was shagging her. We both were using each other to 
satisfy our primitive sexual instincts.

Mum was rolling her head - eyes - hips - she was sucking 
in my tongue and her cunt muscles were vibrating as they 
gripped around my pumping cock shaft pistoned in and out 
of her cunt - she wasn't my mother now - I wasn't her 
son - we were as one entity - two over sexed human 
beings moving, moaning, screaming as we both orgasm 
together.

I continued fucking her although my massive ejaculation 
of my sinful incestuous male seeds into my mother's cunt 
hole depths - My cock never goes quickly soft - even 
after a quick wank I always had to put a stiff cock away 
into my trousers. 

My mum was crying with a smile on her face - she was 
caressing my slightly moving boy buttocks - She then 
turned slightly serious and asked me if I hated her - I 
said of course I didn't hate her. She asked if I was 
disgusted with her and again I reassured her that I 
wasn't disgusted with her. 

She kissed me and ran her fingers through my hair - I 
rested my head on her breast as we relaxed with my stiff 
fully hard cock in her cunt - she was caressing my 
shoulders - then I felt her hips trying to move again.

I was ready to fuck my wonderful lust filled mother 
again and the second act of incest was even better than 
our first shag. I was more controlled with my down wards 
thrusts - mum was guiding me as she rolled her hips to 
meet my fucks into her.

We went to her bed and talked - she told me she knew I 
was fucking myself on the broom handle late at night - 
she said she knew I was sexually attracted to my 8 year 
old brother.

She wanted the full details of the four girls I'd fucked 
- I told her about the farmer showing me the joys of gay 
sex - queer sex as the word gay wasn't universally used 
to mean homos - she said I must be half and half - I 
later learnt she meant bi-sexual. 

I told her I fantasized about her catching me fucking 
myself naked and body oiled up in front of mirrors - she 
said it could now happen. She told me I would tomorrow 
be shown how to do foreplay and 69 with a woman - I told 
her I did it with my school friends - it turned her on 
when I told her who I had had sex with in our street and 
at school.

I fell asleep after our third shag - I work up at around 
six o'clock and heard voices of the family down stairs - 
I put my trousers [no underpants] I greeted everybody 
with a special smile to mum as I sat in the chair at the 
supper table - I sat in uncle Tom's chair - I was 
tempted to say 'Cheers to absent friends'.

My 6 year old sister asked me if I was going to school 
tomorrow - I told her she'd have to ask our mummy - mum 
said 'I don't think so luv.' My cock twitched inside my 
loose fitting trousers. After supper my young sister 
came to sit on my knee...

I'm on heat lust reliving the above.

***

[2nd mail]

I went for a two week holiday at my grand fathers home 
in South Wales - I was recovering from a hernia 
operation - He met me at the station - he recognized me 
before I recognized him - he took me to his cozy little 
house. Granddad adored me - I was to share his bed - I 
actually turned down granddads sisters offer to sleep at 
her place.

I was tired by 10 pm and went to bed - I had to wear a 
full pajamas top and bottom - I was more tired than I 
thought because I fell asleep almost immediately. I was 
awoken by granddad getting into the bed with me - I was 
lying on my back.

I thought he had gone to sleep - I was very hot, pouring 
of sweat - bloody pajama tops were causing me this 
discomfort. What's more my prick was outside my pajama 
bottoms front opening - I hadn't had my three usual 
wanks and my balls felt as if they would explode unless 
I relieve them soon.

I tried stroking my cock with my right hand but my 
moving elbow touched granddad - I tried using my left 
hand but the wall and my elbow made a noise - so I lay 
awake extremely frustrated - then granddad asked if I 
was awake - I told him I was. Then without warning his 
hand grabbed my dick.

I was more surprised than shocked and my natural 
response was to pull his hand off me, but he wouldn't 
let go - he whispered 'Neville I wouldn't ever hurt 
you,' With that I sat up and removed my pajama top and 
kicked off my pajama bottoms - I lay down and told 
granddad 'Be my guest.' 

He felt my testicles and ran his hand all over my torso 
- he pinched my nipples - he made me touch his cock - I 
didn't like that because of his age - he only had about 
4 inches - he must have sensed I'd mentally compared 
sizes because he said 'Yes Neville yours is bigger than 
mine, but I bet I cum more than you.' Well before I knew 
it I was fucking him.

The next morning he bought a large jug of hot water - 
there was a large basin and granddad told me to have a 
strip was and to pay special attention to my private 
parts - I duly obeyed. I couldn't find my clothes so I 
went down stairs in my pajamas - granddad had his back 
to me. I sensed a bit of an atmosphere between us. 

Then granddad spoke - 'Neville I hope what happened last 
night hasn't upset you.' I replied 'Not at all granddad 
I enjoyed it.' At that the old boy turned around with a 
lovely grin on his face. 'So there's no need to mention 
it to your mother is there.' I said 'I wouldn't dream of 
telling her or anybody else about it.'

I thought 'If only you knew what me and mum were doing 
and what me and the farmer were doing you'd know how 
funny his question was.' He then asked me if I was 
hungry - I was starving so he cooked me a large 
breakfast.

He watched me eat every mouthful and then he moved the 
table and as I sipped my cup of tea he told me I had a 
beautiful body - my rising cock popped out from the 
pajamas - he gently stroked it into a full erection.

He undid the pajama cord from around my waist. He then 
sucked me off and I ejaculated into his mouth. 
Afterwards we went out for the day to meet relatives I 
never knew I had.

I fucked granddad every night in bed - But on the nights 
when we stayed in to watch television together - he 
asked me to strip off at about 8 pm each evening - we 
sat side by side in two arm chairs with our feet up 
resting on foot stools.

Granddad would fondle my cock and balls - on three 
occasions he asked me to stand up and walk around the 
living room - then to stand up in front of him and 
masturbate myself - this turned me on a lot. I took my 
time to give the old boy a good show.

I fucked him twice in the kitchen. 

I told him I was having sex with my mum, a farmer and 
numerous school boyfriends - he said I was over sexed - 
I told him I'd been accepted into the army as a boy 
soldier. He thought that to be a good place to get rid 
of my boyhood energy.

All too soon the holiday was over - he died two years 
later - I cried more than mum did.

***
 
[3rd mail]

Having established a sexual relationship with my mother 
- I had a free hand to touch my other brothers and 
sisters - I always wore my old pajama bottoms - never a 
top, when the late evening, all day Sunday if not 
working on the farm. 

I'd have walked around naked if I thought I could get 
away with it. Sometimes as we watched telly in the dark, 
one of my young sisters would sit on my knee or lap. I 
would touch her cunt slit - mum knew I was doing it and 
in bed she told me it turned her on a great deal.

Saturday night is grand bath night - Mum would bath the 
girls and then rush them into the warmer living room - 
one evening I offered to dry my whilst mum had a break. 
Mum looked at me - she knew what I was up to and she sat 
down to watch me. 

My sister was approaching puberty and her breasts were a 
little more than puppy fat. I quickly dried her top half 
and then dried her feet, calves, inner and outer thighs 
- inner thighs again.

When I was drying her hairless cunt region I had the 
towel edge so my fingers could brush her cunt slit - I 
LINGERED on drying her cunt - at times I PARTED the slit 
- and go deeper and deeper into her as all eyes were now 
watching me - my brothers and sisters were all eyes.

My sister wasn't complaining at my touching her so 
intimately - All my brothers were sporting erections - 
my erection was plain for everybody to see.

My sister was kept home the following Monday - Both mum 
and me had sex with her - at first she was too nervous 
to play - but after five minutes of my tonguing her 
citreous she was just as keen then to masturbate herself 
and me.

When I licked her cunt, she pissed herself in my face - 
not that this bothered me - I'd been drinking my own 
urine since the age of 12.

I last fucked my mum and my three sisters when I was on 
army leave aged 20, I was discharged from the army for 
being a sexual psychopath - or being gay - the army use 
extreme words. I had an accident and broke my neck in 
1975 - I have lots of sexual memories to think about, 
and I have had sexual relationships since my accident.

I feel no guilt about my sexually activities - I've 
never forced anybody to have sex with me, nor would I 
because I wouldn't enjoy sex if my sex partner wasn't 
enjoying it with me. 

I suppose I am a sexual deviant as I've done most sexual 
acts - including Bondage - SM - WATERSPORTS - SCAT - 
EXHIBITIONIST - Been gang banged willingly - taken part 
in gang bangs with both sexes the person being gang 
banged was willing - Spanking - and most other things 
you care to name.

I am lucky enough to sex be having sex with both sexes - 
I can't fuck or produce ejaculated sperm [they back 
flows into my bladder] but I enjoy oral sex a lot.

I don't know whether you wish to correspond regularly - 
If you do - just let me know. If not, fair enough, just 
remove the header from your print outs from me so that I 
cannot be identified if anybody else besides you reads 
my e-mails to you. If you have other sexual interests 
you would like to hear about and if I've experience of 
it I'd be happy to reveal it to you.

Take care - happy wanking. 

***

A WORD FROM RANK

I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact 
with a family member, and what impact that had on your 
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or 
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:

 ...With whom (Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, etc.).

 ...At what age?

 ...Who 'wooed' who? 

 ...How you feel about your experience(s) today?
 
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story 
will only be used to continue these postings. If you 
would like to share your story, please send mail to 
RankAmateur@writeme.com.

WHERE TO FIND THIS DIGEST

New issues are posted to alt.sex.stories.moderated and 
related newsgroups on an irregular schedule.

Past issues are available on the web at the 
alt.sex.stories.moderated <a 
href"http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/">archive 
site</a>.

A WORD ON CONTENT

After some valid criticism of Issue 21, I have decided 
to exercise more editorial control over the mix of 
stories. I'll still reject outright very few (mostly 
blatant unfinished fantasies), but I will try to adjust 
the mix in each issue to please the widest audience. Let 
me know if you like what I'm doing or not -- feedback 
helps me do this better!

Even issues will continue to be 1 (perhaps 2) long 
stories.

Expect issues roughly weekly for a while; I've got a big 
backlog!

A WORD ON SPAM

I finally realized that the sex spammers have no 
incentive to ever stop. You might think that by posting 
more and more ads, they will drive people away from 
newsgroups, thus eliminating their audience. In fact, 
they ARE driving people away from newsgroups ... right 
to the "spam-free" web. There's method to their madness. 
No searching! No decoding! Just give me your visa 
account .... It's completely in their interest to make 
the newsgroups unusable.

Me, I'll stay committed to alt.sex.stories.moderated for 
a while yet. But I may be starting a web forum of my 
own. Watch this space!

R.I.P. unmoderated alt.sex.* ... dead for some time.

It's beginning to stink. :-(

A WORD ON AOL

Well, after repeated deletions of my profile, now they 
will not even allow me to save a profile that contains 
the word "incest" although these digests are 100% legal 
within the United States. I had delayed my search for a 
new provider until I could obtain the lifetime e-mail 
address (which is RankAmateur@writeme.com); I'll be 
moving soon, now. I'm way too much of a net.veteran to 
be using AOL anyway. <blush> Besides, most of the people 
who responded needed to be told what the web or 
newsgroups were ... and I don't have time to be an 
internet tutor.

***


The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 23

Disclaimer: If you don't like any of this, skip it.

***

From: Garth

One of my first sexual experiences was with my cousins, 
Vanessa and Kevin. I was about 16 at the time. Vanessa 
was 15 and Kevin about 13. They had come down to us for 
the holiday with the rest of the family, and the day 
before they left Vanessa and I decided that we were 
going to get drunk together.

So I went into town and got some liquors (I did not like 
beer very much). We decided that we had to let Kevin on 
it because he was sleeping in my room. Besides, Vanessa 
was sleeping with my sister, and she was a real priss 
back then.

After the adults had all one to sleep (my father and my 
uncle were both pissed as coots, with my mother and aunt 
not far behind) Vanessa came over to our room. We were 
quite confident that we were not going to be caught, and 
that we could make quite a bit of noise as well.

She got things going by teaching us a drinking game. It 
was one of those ones where if you made a mistake, you 
had to down-down, and since we both did not know the 
game, she remained quite a bit more sober that we did.

We soon got tired of the game, and then one of us 
suggested that we play strip poker. It was probably 
Vanessa because I did not know how to play cards back 
then. We could not find a pack of cards, so we settled 
to playing poker dice with the set that my grandmother 
had given me for Christmas.

Now, as with the drinking game, Vanessa had an unfair 
advantage on us. See, Kevin and I were probably both 
wearing about eight or nine items of clothing each 
(including our watches). Compare this with the countless 
articles of clothing and accessories that teenage girls 
wear at that age! I'm talking necklaces, bangles, 
earrings, stockings, a hair band, rings, etc... So you 
can probably guess that one of us males got naked before 
she.

As it were, Kevin was first. After getting him to expose 
his raging not yet fully post-pubescent erection to us 
for a few seconds, we allowed him to cover himself with 
a pillow. But Kevin kept losing, so we had to make up 
penalties for him. 

I remember that one of them was to fuck one of my 
centerfold pinups. He was very athletic and had one of 
those bronzed bodies without any tan lines.

Eventually I was also down to nothing, and at that point 
Kevin and I decided that we had had enough because 
Vanessa still had all of her clothing on and would not 
show us anything. So then she suggested that we play Man 
Or Mouse. (In retrospect, she probably made this game 
up.)

We switched the lights out, and I lay down naked on one 
of the beds. She kneeled on the floor at the side of the 
bed and put her hand on my legs. She would say "Man or 
mouse?" Each time I would answer "Man", and she would 
advance a few inches up my body. 

Eventually she was only one move away from my erection, 
and I was now so turned on that my cock was rock hard 
(to borrow a cliché - but it was). I think that she 
could have breathed on it and I would have come.

She asked the question and I answered "Man", and to my 
disappointment she passed straight over my groin area 
and onto my stomach. She was obviously shy, despite 
initiating the game, so I made a bold move. 

I found her hand in the darkness and put it onto my 
cock, although she took it away almost immediately.

Then Kevin and I became tired of her teasing, and we 
both jumped on her and started to strip her and feel her 
all over, despite her half-hearted protests. We got her 
top and bra off, but she kept her legs clamped shut. 

It was truly one of those cases when the girl said no, 
but meant yes, and we both knew it, because she was not 
fighting hard enough, and her protests were not loud 
enough to wake anyone up, which she easily could have 
done.

The more we felt and sucked and touched and rubbed her 
the more turned on she became. I even managed to get my 
hand over her pussy for a while, although not for long. 
It was the first time that I had sucked a girls breasts. 

Before that I had only been able to feel them, and I 
remember marveling that the sensation of sucking them 
was similar to feeling them. It was that strange, 
unimaginable sensation - soft yet firm.

There came a point where she was able to fight us off 
and she made it out the door and back to my sister's 
room. I guess she was not ready for it yet. That or we 
were not pressing all the right buttons. Perhaps if her 
brother was not there, she would have gone further with 
me. 

Perhaps it was because she and her brothers are adopted 
that she even went that far. All I know was that after 
she left, Kevin and I jerked each other off. That night 
was the first time that I was able to come twice in a 
row without losing my erection.

I am now 24, and my cousin now lives in the same city as 
I. She is engaged, and even once in front of her fiancé 
she laughingly hinted at that episode. 

Whenever we met after that incident I tried to open the 
subject again - perhaps to talk about it or even finish 
it off, but we never connected on that level again. One 
of those cases where we were young enough (and lucky 
enough) for our separate interests not to have developed 
and diverged yet.

I was also not the only one to commit the "I" deed with 
her. After I told my little brother about it years later 
(when he stopped being such a pest), he told me that 
when he was about 10 or 11 Vanessa would let him tickle 
her back, and that sometimes she would allow him to feel 
her tits and her pussy.  

We always had our suspicions about them, but I always 
thought that he was too young! Imagine my surprise.

***

From: Trip

When I was 17, I came out of the shower and let my towel 
fall exposing my erect penis to my 9 year old sister. I 
went in to my room and started masturbating on the bed 
and she followed me in and watched She asked what I was 
doing and I told her I was washing it in a special way. 
She wanted to be naked too and showed me her crack. I 
licked her hairless puss and she gyrated it was so good. 

I touched my penis head to her clit, but it didn't fit 
in her hole, I made her suck it for a bit too.

After that, I spied on her changing and fooling around 
with her female friends in her room and shower...I 
enjoyed ejaculating in her and her hot friends panties.

My cousin came on to me when we were 13, she wanted me 
to touch her tits, so I did right in front of her dad 
who was sleeping on the couch next to us. 

That was really all that happened until we were 18 and 
we wrestled around, we both knew we wanted to fuck, but 
her boyfriend came in on us. so I got her panties 
instead. when she was 21 I saw her completely nude as I 
was making out with her friend, she went to the bathroom 
at 5 a.m. nude. What a hot body she has, she is tan all 
over, even her ass.

***

From: Deb

I have this feeling about my mom and she also has the 
same feeling back I don't know where to go from here.

***

[SPOILER: mildly negative, skip to end if you like]

From: Matt

I agree, there is a lot more incest going on then we 
know. Here are two events that I learned about, both in 
1979.

JACKIE

My old girlfriend Jackie had this experience. She only 
talked about it once so some of the details are missing.

She was 10 ft up a ladder leaning on a 6 ft fence 
trimming a tree. She fell and broke both wrists and 
wrenched a kneecap. She was a single mother with a son 
about ten years old at the time. 

After an over-night stay in the hospital, she came home. 
She could hop around on one leg and hold small objects 
in her fingers but that was about all. The county home 
health nurse showed up some but her son took care of 
her. I came around when I wasn't traveling.

After a while, she wanted to take a bath so she had her 
son tape plastic bags over both hands and over the leg 
cast. She was able to soak in the tub like this. 

Drying herself was harder, so she had her son dry her 
with a towel, reaching under the short-sleeved robe. 
Apparently this happened a couple of times without 
incident.

She wanted to wash her hair so she filled the tub with 
bubble bath. Now hidden, her son come in to shampoo her 
hair. Something in the shampoo broke down the bubble 
bath, leaving her exposed naked. She decided to have her 
son finish washing her hair. He was embarrassed but did 
it.

She went back to her old routine of soaking but later 
her son offered to wash her hair again. I don't think 
she bothered with bubble bath this time. After washing 
her hair, she had him wash her back with a wash cloth. 

She said it felt so good, that she had him wash all of 
her. In the process he rubbed her pussy as well as 
breasts. She said he was not aware of what he was doing.

When I visited her, her son had a very different 
attitude toward me. Confused, I asked her what had 
happened. She broke down in shame and embarrassment and 
told me. I suspect he did more than just feel her. A few 
weeks later she stopped dating me and I eventually moved 
to a different state.

ALYNNE

Alynne was another girl I dated, only briefly. She 
worked with her older sister at a business I called on. 
We dated a little, dinner and a movie, no sex.

One evening at another couples house, we all drank too 
much and spent the night there. With a little coaxing we 
made love. It was quick and not very good. 

In the morning, she was a different person, crying every 
time I talked to her. I figured I was in for a charge of 
date-rape as it's called now.

Surprisingly, she continued to go out with me but acted 
strangely. I finally asked her sister if she was OK. Her 
sister walked outside with me and said "I know what 
happened. Sex has been forced on Alynne by every man she 
knew growing up. 

I know you didn't force her but she doesn't understand 
the difference. I've adjusted but she can't handle it. 
If you keep dating her, understand where she's coming 
from." We stopped dating. I assumed it had happened to 
her sister as well.

***

[SPOILER: mildly negative, skip to the end if you like]

From: Keith

Here's a story you may or may not be interested in since 
it contains no actual incest but merely tries to define 
why I'm so obsessed with it.

Up to the time I was twenty I never had a girlfriend so 
I quite frequently bought pornography for the obvious 
reasons. I found that I was buying "Penthouse" more for 
the stories than for the "models" inside. One day I 
stumbled across a story about two sisters who spend the 
night in the same bed and become lovers.

This was fascinating and unreal, but of course at my age 
I wanted to believe all those letters were for real. I 
switched to reading those little digests with a few 
incest stories until I found a place that sold "Family 
Letters" (a gas station?!) and I was hooked. 

I now have about four tons of these things as well as 
other magazines and now I'm seeking it out on the net.

One of my girlfriends found out about my obsession and 
she was cool with it at first and she played along and 
called me "daddy" during sex but that became old for her 
and that was probably one of the reasons that we broke 
up along with fact that I told her that I shouldn't have 
children. 

I've gotten my current girlfriend to do the same act and 
she enjoys it and probably harbors a fantasy or two 
about her dad.

This maybe goes back to my childhood when I was about 11 
or so my mother came into my room in her robe and pinned 
me to the bed and began kissing me on the mouth. I 
struggled because she was on top of me and at the time 
was rather heavy. 

As soon as I worked myself free she grabbed me back down 
and slapped me in the face. My Mom had NEVER done that 
before. She started apologizing and crying and saying 
that it wouldn't happen again. I just sat there confused 
until she left.

I'd still like to know for sure but in my mind that's 
when it began. That and the idea that my family were 
always fighting when it seemed that the families who 
were having sex seemed to get along well together. I 
know that this is distorted and a lot of people have 
negative experiences but I'd like to believe some enjoy 
it. 

I often wonder what would have happened if I had gone 
farther with my mother that day. I have no bad feelings 
toward her she is still a great mother, but we've never 
mentioned what happened that day.

Well there it is, it may be too long for your digest but 
I enjoyed telling you anyway.

***

A WORD FROM RANK

I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact 
with a family member, and what impact that had on your 
lives. The story doesn't have to be very long, or 
detailed, or even sexy. Just let me know:

 ...with whom (brother, mother, cousin, uncle)

 ...at what age

 ...who initiated the activity, and

 ...how you feel about it now
 
Your confidentiality will not be compromised. Your story 
will only be used to continue these postings. If you 
would like to share your story, please send mail to 
RankAmateur@writeme.com.

WHERE TO FIND THIS DIGEST

New issues are posted to alt.sex.stories.moderated and 
related newsgroups on an irregular schedule.

Past issues are available on the web at the 
alt.sex.stories.moderated <a 
href"http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/">archive 
site</a>.

WHERE TO FIND RANK

I'm officially quitting AOL. [and there was much 
rejoicing] The <rankamatr@aol.com> address WILL NOT WORK 
effective Real Soon Now. Send all correspondence to my 
lifetime email address, <rankamateur@writeme.com>.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

Did two members of the same family ever compete for your 
interest? Was it successful? Maybe you and a relative of 
your own competed for someone else.

REVIEWING CELESTE

Well, it eventually did happen: Celeste reviewed the 
digest! Sadly, she found little of note in Issue 22, 
since the Neville story was not up to her standards of 
grammar, plot, or character. (2's all around.) I will 
defend the eroticism of the central moment in Issue 22 
where Neville's mother seduces him. 

Anyway, Celeste, thanks for finally taking notice; I 
appreciate your awareness that I take a few more minutes 
with my words than some of my contributors; and I invite 
you to review the stories of Jeannie and her brother 
(Issues 14, 15, and 18). 

Personally I think she's a halfway decent erotic writer, 
and the best I've had the privilege to publish. I am 
also very certain that she told the truth; and I would 
rather publish true stories than well-written ones.

As I've said before, I do minimal editing, correcting 
only the worst errors of spelling and grammar. I'm not 
an editor, and compilation is quite enough work as it 
is, thank you! Besides, neologisms such as "clitoris" 
lightly amuse me. 

Much of the stories sent to me are hastily written 
personal accounts by authors who don't normally do a lot 
of writing, erotic or otherwise. Possibly for reasons of 
haste (either for privacy, or due to personal 
discomfort) many submissions are written in a 
telegraphic stream-of-consciousness style. 

Others resemble police or psychological interviews. I 
feel I do a service for those with an incest fetish, and 
I quite happily leave the task of elevating the level of 
erotic fiction on the 'net to Celeste and the stellar 
list of authors she regularly reviews.

I wish to emphasize: what I publish are REAL 
SUBMISSIONS, though of course I have no way of verifying 
that they are all real experiences. I suspect, as did 
Nancy Friday, that some are highly embellished versions 
of more subtle events. But I reject very few submissions 
outright.

Finally, I don't gripe about AOL censoring my digest, 
just my AOL profile. It's not some kind of preachy rant 
-- just one more annoyance that's making me quit this 
place, flat rates be damned.

Love, Rank


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life.

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Kristen's collection - Directory 67