Tiffany's Diaper Tales
                         Volume II
                      By: BabyInDiapers
                 Co-author: Buttercup Baby
                     Written 09/22/2006
                        Chapter 059


"Wake up honey." Mom said as she gently shook my shoulder. I
opened my eyes and yawned. She changed my diaper. "I'm going
to get you some goodnites to wear during the day so you can
pull them down when you have to go potty. Because I can't
think of anything else that can absorb or hold all your pee
and poop if you have an accident. But you will need to get
changed as soon as you wet or mess in them. But for today, you
get your nice comfy cloth dipees." Mom said as she helped me
out of the crib.


I had breakfast and said good bye to mom and Tammy before
leaving for school.

......

I got home from school and my diaper was soaked. Mom changed
me into a goodnite. They actually felt comfy. "Now if you feel
like you have to go, then go to the potty. If you have an
accident, call me and I'll change you." Mom said I nodded.
This was like being potty trained all over again. That evening
I pooped in my goodnite while doing homework. I sort of new I
had to go, but I was busy and didn't make it to the potty in
time. For bed I was put into my usual cloth diapers. Also we
decided that I would sit in a regular chair at meal times but
I could still have my bottle and sippy cup on special
occasions.


As for my playpen, Mandi loved having such a big playpen. I
felt pretty good about what I was doing. I realized I had a
lot of growing up to do and I knew that I could always have
baby time when I wanted but that I needed to cut back and put
more energy into age appropriate things. After all, I was in
the tenth grade now, about to go on tour with the band,
looking into colleges and thinking about an eventual career.
There was a lot on my mind. This was a very transitional time.
I couldn't imagine myself going to job interviews in dirty
diapers. As much as I would sometimes want to regress, I would
stop myself if there were more pressing things to do.


Time went on and I wasn't having much luck with the potty
training.

I ran to the bathroom, like I usually seemed to do these
days. I pulled down my pants and goodnites and rested my
fanny on the cold porcelan monster. I tinkled into the
potty and wasn't happy with it. Mom came upstairs and saw
me sitting there.

"Good job sweetie, you made it again." She said with a smile.

"Yuh huh, but I didn't like it. I like my didees to fill up
mommy, I hate the potty monster." I pouted.

"I know honey, but you are doing so good." She came over
and hugged me and she took some toilet paper and wiped me
too, and then pulled my goodnight and pants up.

"Soon you will have big girl panties," She commented.

"NO!" I screamed, "I don't want big girl panties, I don't
wanna be a big girl! I wanna be a baby!" I ran out of her arms
and to my room and grabbed Mr. Fluffy and held him close.

Mommy came in and talked to me, and consoled me and I felt
a little better.

There were many episodes like this, I didn't like potty-
training, but I kept trying, and I was getting better.

School was the hardest though, some teachers were getting mad
because I was always leaving to go potty, and then took even
longer because I wouldn't make it and have to change again.

"I think we have to put you back into cloth didees for school
sweetie," Mom said to me one night at the dinner table.

I was ecstatic with that idea. I called Laura that night to
tell her mommy was letting me wear my diapers to school, and
she was also happy for me.

......

By the middle of November I decided that I was going to give
up on the potty training.

"I don't know mommy, I just don't wanna get rid of my didees,"
I said to her, also talking to Mrs. Woods in one of my
sessions.

"You know Tiff, even though you are physically dependant on
the diapers, it would be equally as hard, or more so, to
overcome the emotional attachment." She said.

"Do you want to keep them?" Mommy asked me.

"Yes!" I said excitedly.

"Why is that?" Mrs. Woods asked me.

"I don't know, well, they make me feel safe, and secure, and
sometimes they help calm me down. I feel loved in them,
even though I know mommy and daddy and Tammy and Laura and
everyone else loves me, and sometimes they even make me
feel like a little baby." I said to her, but continued
to explain myself. "I know I don't need my high-chair
and other things like that, if I just have my
diapies and crib then I can be fine."

I looked at Mrs. Woods and she was smiling, "You really
are a young-lady Tiffany, and a smart one at it. You really
know yourself, and that is not something most full grown
adults can say for themselves."

The session ended and just like any other meeting with
Mrs. Woods, I learned a lot more about myself than I knew
before.


There was just something magical about just stopping where I
was and relieving myself in the diaper. As much as it was a
turn on, it was also a major part of my emotional core. When
talking with mom one night I told her that its much easier to
take a moment to pee and poo in my diaper and keep on doing
what I'm doing, than to spend time playing baby. Although each
night I totally gave into baby mode. The  one thing I was
making good progress at was being a teenager in the day, and a
total baby at night. With Laura and I breastfeeding each other
I quit having my feedings with mom.


However at home when my diaper was poopie, mommy would change
me just to make it easy on me. But when I was wet, I would
take care of it myself. I felt much better now that I had
sorted through all these things. Initially we all thought
potty training was what I needed, but it turns out that that
was the one thing that I didn't need. I began to be more
active and social in school After all I would be out of school
this April and on the road. In the back of my mind I realized
this would allow plenty of time to play baby since all we
would be doing was concerts and photo ops and traveling.
Playing baby had become a thing for Laura and I to do
together; whereas in the past I was in the role of a baby,
even in my home and school life.


What I began to realize is that the love of my family and
Laura and other friends really was enough to help deal with
issues that came up from time to time and that I didn't need
to escape as a coping mechanism nearly as often. Having baby
play as a planned activity instead of emotional baggage was
what I was achieving. I also found that I leaned more on God
than on being a baby to solve things. I spent more time
seeking his will, and getting geared up for the opportunity to
minister to people with our music.

......

Thanks giving weekend everyone was over at our house.
Teala, Amy, Tammy and I all sat around and talked about our
lives.

"I like it better this way, I feel more like, me." Amy finished
saying, after explaining that she quit diapers during the day.
"I still need them at night though," she giggled.

"Me too, I hear ya sister!" Tammy said, giving Amy a hi-five.
"Although, it's so much easier to wear a diaper if I have to take
Mandi shopping, or to a movie or something, that girl is such
a bugger, I rarely have time to go to the bathroom with her!"

"I wish I could say that," Teala said with a little frown.
"I still have a few accidents during the day, I am wearing these
Poise Panty things, they don't hold much, so I still have to
make it to the toilet, but they do help if I have an
accident." She said, "And of course I have my diapers
for night time, just like everyone else."

"Well I will never get rid of my diapers!" I said, and everyone
laughed, and Tammy ruffled my hair.


In so little as a year, my life had changed so drastically.
From Laura and I getting together, to Emily's death, to the
band getting a record deal, to every day school and teenage
crap. Just a year prior I had been mostly a baby, playing
teenager; Instead of a teenager who occasionally played baby.
I realized that things would be fast paced until I settled
into a job at some point. So I had better get used to constant
change and growth. I knew that through all these times, the
good and the bad, that God was teaching me and guiding me.


Mom was still in her diaper prime though, it was like she was
headed in the opposite direction in many ways. But she ha done
so much already through the years. If baby time was what she
needed, then she well deserved it. I changed her only when
daddy wasn't around and she was messy. Her and dad decided
that it wouldn't be a very good idea to have us girls involved
in babying mom. It was just one of those things that could
easily be misunderstood and seen as something that it wasn't.
But for all the times she changed me, I had no problem
returning the favor if daddy or Tammy weren't' there to do it.


Teala went back to Tampa on Sunday afternoon after church. She
was doing very well for herself. She had recently received a
raise and a bonus at her job at the station. Amy had 2 more
years of college in Montana. Even when she did come home, she
stayed at Kathy and Kevin's house. We had not seen as much of
aunt Kathy since the move. But she was finally having her life
back. She used to be on her own before the attack, and now she
is back on her own, but with a wonderful husband. Kevin and
daddy got along really great and would hang out sometimes on
Saturday afternoons while mom and aunt Kathy would go out
shopping.


Sunday night my mom came in to say goodnight. I had already
changed into my night time diapers. She gave me a kiss. "See
you in the morning honey." she said as she turned out the
light and shut my door. I stayed awake thinking all these
things that had been going on. I finally wet my diaper and
held Mr. Fluffy. It didn't take much more time before I was
asleep.