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Julian Falls in Love

By: BabyPink



My name is Julian, about 5' 8", slightly built, and with long shoulder-length brown hair and rather effeminate features. At school, I was what you would call a loner. I was shy and lacked the confidence to approach girls. However, I did develop an interest in the clothes they wore. The girls looked so good in their short, pleated grey skirts, black tights and light blue blouses. As time passed, my desire to dress like them grew ever stronger.

I think my interest in girls' clothes really started one day when, aged fourteen, I was left alone in the house while my parents and sister were away visiting relatives in another part of the country. I was rummaging about in my sister's wardrobe and found her underwear. Trembling with excitement, I undressed and put on some panties, stockings and a white slip. Immediately, I had an erection. I had to masturbate several times to relieve my feelings and wore the underwear all day, savouring the unaccustomed softness and lightness of the material against my skin.

At first, I didn't consider myself gay, but gradually my masturbation fantasies changed. From imagining I was having sex with girls I knew at school, I began to picture myself dressed as a schoolgirl and being undressed then penetrated by a man. These feelings remained entirely private. I felt so frustrated that I couldn't carry out my wish to dress like a girl, although I did send away for several pairs of panties from a mail-order catalogue and wore them from time to time whilst masturbating.

I left school at 18 and started a job at a firm of architects. To take my mind off the lack of love in my life, I started to go running long distances and became quite good, athletics being my favourite sport. I would even go running in my lunch breaks in the local park. It was there I had the encounter that would change my life.

I was jogging around the park, when I heard someone call out to me. I couldn't see anyone at first. Then I heard the cry "over here!" I walked down a grassy incline in the direction of the voice and saw a man sunbathing out of sight of the public. He was naked apart from a pair of underpants. I recognised him as the personnel manager from my workplace. He was in his mid-thirties and was a friendly sort. I walked over to him and he asked me if I wanted to take a rest, which I was glad to do, since really it was far too hot to run. I was amazed he had the nerve to lie in a public place in just his underpants! We chatted for a few minutes and I felt strangely comfortable with him. He seemed a really nice guy, not to say good looking. I couldn't help but notice his well toned body, the result of many sessions at the gym. But he was not overly muscled. He was also refreshingly forward - after a while I was astonished to see him remove his underpants. He lay there, stark naked! He also asked me to do the same, but all I would take off was my top. I remember blushing when he said I had a lovely slim body. For the next few days, I met him at the same place, sunbathing as it was a particularly hot summer, and we got to know each other really well. One day he asked me if I would like to go for a drink. I fancied him like mad and readily agreed.

I met him after work at a pub near his house. I didn't drink too much because I was trying to stay fit. However, even after a couple of glasses of wine in that blazing heat, I felt light headed and I lost my inhibitions. He invited me to his house for coffee before I headed home and I thought why not? We got to his place, which I was very impressed with as it was so clean and tidy, and sat on the sofa to watch a comedy video. The video was absolutely hilarious, especially in the slightly inebriated state I was in, and I felt utterly happy to be in Lawrence's company. At some point, he placed his hand on top of mine. It was as if electricity were running through my body. He looked me intently in the face and asked if he could kiss me, and I said yes. We kissed passionately as he held me closely in his strong arms. After a while he got up and said "I have a little film I think you'll appreciate!" He picked a DVD from his collection and put it in his player. I sat on Lawrence's knee and watched transfixed as two gorgeous boys made love. After undressing and french kissing one another for some minutes, one bent over the arm of a sofa and allowed the other to penetrate him. The active partner was thrusting really hard as he neared climax, so much so his thighs slapped against his lover's buttocks. They were both moaning passionately. After a few minutes, the active partner ejaculated inside the other. I had never seen anything so erotic.

He asked me if I would like to come upstairs. I smiled at him and replied "I wouldn't mind." 

He then commented "but I'm old enough to be your father." 

"I don't care," I replied. He led me by the hand and led me upstairs to his immaculate bedroom, where he put on some soft music. I started to take off my clothes but he stopped me and said he wanted to undress me himself. Very slowly and deliberately, he unbuttoned my shirt then unfastened my trousers. 

But I had forgotten that I was wearing panties, the only article of women's clothing I dared to wear in the office! "So do you wear these normally? he asked." 

I felt my face go all flushed as I shamefully admitted "I would wear a lot more given the opportunity." To my relief, he smiled and didn't seem to mind at all. With obvious relish, he lowered my panties to my knees then sat me on the edge of the bed. He knelt on the floor in front of me and began to kiss and lick me between the legs. He really took the time to make me feel good and I felt gratified that he complimented me on the smoothness of my skin (for some time I had been shaving my pubes off completely). Eventually he took my erect penis in his mouth. It felt wonderful. Very quickly I could contain myself no longer and ejaculated into his mouth.

After kissing and caressing for a few minutes, he was hard and ready for me. He made me kneel on the bed whilst he explored my anal opening with his fingers, but decided I was just too tight to enter and he didn't want to hurt me. He brought a bottle of baby oil from the bathroom and I wondered what he had in mind. Pouring some into his hand, he rubbed it all over my thighs and belly. "Lie down, and keep your legs together," he ordered. After I did so, he lay on me and began to thrust his penis in between my lubricated thighs. He was very gentle and loving, and kept kissing me, telling me how gorgeous I was. After a good ten minutes of this 'frottage', Lawrence groaned and came profusely over me. He then sat me on his knee whilst he kissed me deeply and masturbated me to another climax. I curled up in his arms and slept like a baby. We made love again in the morning. I felt wonderfully secure and happy in his bed.

Before I left, Lawrence gave me an anal vibrator, which he encouraged me to use. It was uncomfortable at first, but I learnt to relax my sphincter so I could get it inside me. It felt highly pleasurable. I was determined to give my lover the maximum enjoyment the next time we had sex.

We arranged to meet the very next weekend, where Lawrence said he had a surprise in store for me. I was intrigued. On arriving at his house, we kissed. "Your surprise is in my bedroom," he said. "I think you're going to like it." Walking up to his room, there were several bags on his bed. I couldn't have been more excited by what I found. There were some bra and panty sets, as well as several pairs of tights; two mini-skirts; an assortment of pretty blouses, and a pair of heeled sling backs. He had even provided a bag full of make-up - lipstick, mascara, eye-shadow and the like. I hurriedly stripped off and put on a grey pleated skirt, white knee socks and white blouse, with white cotton lacy panties and bra underneath. I did the best I could with the make-up, knowing little about it. But I felt deliriously happy. The whole of my body was tingling.

Checking myself in the mirror, I thought I didn't look too bad and rushed downstairs. I flung my arms around my lover and thanked him for making my dreams come true. I would have liked him to take me there and then, but he said "slow down, angel, let's just take our time!" We had dinner and shared a bottle of wine, then curled up on the sofa to watch a film. It was a delicious evening. Finally, it was time for bed. Putting his arm around me, Lawrence led me to his room. We kissed passionately on the bed, whilst his hands reached up beneath my skirt to fondle my bum through my cotton panties. I responded by feeling his rock-hard cock, which was making an unsightly bulge at the front of his trousers. 

"I think I'm ready to go all the way tonight, darling," I said. 

"Good girl," he replied. It was so thrilling to hear him referring to me already as a girl!

Lawrence undressed and, as he lowered his boxer shorts, his cock sprang up and slapped against his belly. Evidently, he needed no further stimulation. I started to take off my clothes but he stopped me. "You look fine just the way you are," he whispered. He lay on his back and beckoned me to sit down on him with my back to his face. Taking a tube of lubricant, he hitched up my mini-skirt, tucked the hem in the waistband, lowered my panties and applied the lube liberally to my opening. After slipping on a condom, he said "just take your time, angel, and if it hurts too much, just stop, OK?" I grasped his cock and eased it into me, trying to relax and pushing as if I were attempting a bowel movement. 

After several minutes of trying I got it halfway in. "It doesn't feel too bad, darling," I said.

Gripping me tightly by the waist, Lawrence turned me on my side and began to thrust, at first gently but gradually with more vigour. It was still a little uncomfortable but it was so good to know I could pleasure my lover in this way. His thrusting became increasingly urgent and I sensed he was about to come. "Oh angel, you make me feel so good!" he groaned as he lost control and exploded in orgasm inside me. It felt tremendously gratifying that now I could fully explore my femininity with this gentle and loving man. 

Julian Falls in Love Ch. 02



I hope you enjoyed the first part of my story, which was my first real attempt at erotic writing. Judging by the kind comments I have received, which are much appreciated, I know at least some of you liked it. I certainly had a lot of fun writing the story. Here I relate my first experience in public dressed as a girl.

*

I woke up the next morning and was initially surprised to find myself in bed clad in a pink satin nightdress with a naked man. I had my head on Lawrence's chest and his arm around me. I had been worried the guilt of sleeping with him would overwhelm me in the cold light of day, but my feelings were quite the opposite. I couldn't believe my good fortune in meeting a man with whom I had such an affinity. Sensing I was awake, he opened his eyes, smiled sweetly, and then kissed me tenderly on the cheek.

"You're so nice!" I whispered.

"Not as nice as you," he objected gallantly, as he pressed his lips to mine and moved his hand down the back of my nightdress until it rested on my buttocks. Electricity seemed to spark from every pore of my body as I anticipated the prospect of imminent physical love. It was a Saturday morning and nothing was pressing. He rolled over on top of me. His kissing became more insistent and passionate, his tongue entering my mouth.

"I can't, darling", I protested, although it was said with reluctance. "I'm still a little sore down there from last night." I could feel a persistent throbbing centred around my rectum. However, it wasn't altogether unpleasant.

"Don't worry angel, I've no intention of hurting you!" said Lawrence. "Kneel over my face."

I had no idea what he had in mind but did as I was told. Removing my nightdress, he pulled me down closer to him, then, quite unexpectedly, he began to lick my hairless scrotum. He did so with obvious relish, occasionally running his tongue as back so it lapped at my perineum. From time to time he even pushed the tip of his tongue into my anus. The sensation was quite exquisite and something I'd never experienced before. In fact, I never thought it could be experienced. I couldn't stop myself from emitting my girlish sighs as he sucked lightly on my balls. After a good while of this sublime pleasure, he stopped, then planted a single kiss on the tip of my now stiff penis.

He then pushed me back on the bed and asked me to lie on my side. He then lay beside me so that we were both facing each other's cocks. I had never done this before, yet it was clear what he wanted. His mouth quickly enveloped my tumescent member, whilst I flicked at his fraenulum with my tongue. His manly cock quickly stood up, bolt erect, with its beautiful, purple engorged gland. I gradually warmed to my task; I wanted to return the joy he was giving me. Very rapidly I felt the delicious sensation of approaching orgasm, as my lover fellated me with ardour. I shuddered violently, was forced to leave off my own oral stimulation, and spurted jet after jet of semen in Lawrence's mouth, my pelvis thrusting madly.

The feeling was so intense I felt dizzy and saw black spots in front of my eyes, as if I were about to pass out. It seemed five years of loneliness and sexual frustration had been expelled in that explosive orgasm. I couldn't help sobbing in sheer relief. Lawrence understood my feelings and gently cuddled me and kissed my tears away. I really loved this man and wanted to please him in every way. He was so kind and considerate in bed.

After I had recovered my composure, I asked him to sit on the bed and I knelt between his legs. I then began to suck at him with a new-found enthusiasm, now and then licking his balls and kissing his firm, muscled thighs. His self-control was far greater than mine and I spent a good ten minutes giving him oral pleasure until his body suddenly tensed and I knew he was going to come. I slipped my free hand under his firm bottom and slid my index finger into his anus. This was too much for him and tipped him over the edge. I rubbed his foreskin rapidly, whilst still keeping me lips wrapped around his member. Groaning hoarsely, he held me by the back of the head and ejaculated copiously into my waiting mouth. I swallowed every drop of his delectable warm emission, and then licked his cock completely clean.

"Angel, that was wonderful!" he exclaimed, pulling me up from the floor and sitting me on his knee. We kissed and caressed a long time, bathing in the afterglow of our fantastic lovemaking. "Let's shower and have breakfast," he said finally. "Then we'll think about how we're going to spend the day."

Stepping into his shower together, we began to soap each other under the hot gush of water and very quickly got turned on again. The shower was too small not to be intimate. We began to kiss. Almost imperceptibly at first, he began to move his hard cock against my crotch, having to lower himself slightly to get down to my height. I grabbed him around the neck and began to return his thrusts. As he held me by the waist and pulled me to him ever tighter, our mutual fucking became faster. Finally, we could hold out no longer and came together in a delightful orgasm, our tongues mingling in a lascivious kiss, the hot water streaming down our naked bodies. My knees felt so weak I had to cling desperately to my lover's neck; otherwise, my legs would have buckled entirely. But I was in ecstasy.

"That was definitely the best shower I've ever had!" Lawrence exclaimed, as we stepped out and towelled each other down. I hugged him and laughed freely, as I had done all too seldom in my lonely, repressed life.

"I normally shave after a shower, if you know what I mean?" He realised I meant my body hair. Even though I was not particularly hirsute, I shaved every three days or so to keep my skin silky smooth.

"With the greatest of pleasure!" he replied. He took a can of shaving foam and sprayed it liberally on my lower belly. He then seated me on the edge of the bath and smeared it all over my pubes and balls. Very carefully, he shaved off what few hairs had started to sprout up. He then turned me round and depilated my lower back and buttocks, finishing off with my legs. He then sponged me off with warm water and, after admiring his handiwork, kissed me on the upper thigh.

This intimate attention had caused me to regain my erection. "You can attend to that," Lawrence joked, "while I get breakfast." I needed relief, so while Lawrence went to the kitchen, I sat on the toilet and masturbated. It only took a few strokes until I spurted into the pan.

I put my nightdress back on and sat down to breakfast with Lawrence. "So, what are the plans for today, then, darling?" I asked.

"Well, I thought we might go for a drive this afternoon then tonight we could go to the cinema," he said.

"Sounds good to me," I replied. Then he hit me with the bombshell.

"And I'd like you to go to the cinema dressed up", he said, in a calm, matter-of-fact voice.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Too stunned to speak for a few seconds, I blurted out: "But that's insane! I couldn't possibly. I'd never get away with it!"

"Why not?" he retorted. "You're a very pretty girl when you're dressed up. Didn't you know that?"

Feeling my cheeks flush at the compliment, I nevertheless dug my heels in. "Look, Lawrence, it's never going to work! I'd just be too scared!" I was becoming angry at his nonchalance.

"Don't you trust me?" Lawrence asked. He stood up, put his arm around me and kissed me repeatedly on the cheek. "Please, just this once. If it doesn't work, I'll never ask you to do it again. Please, just for me."

My resolve softened when I felt his gentle touch and his obvious concern for me. I conceded defeat, even though the prospect of going out as a girl terrified me. "OK, but it will have to be the late night performance. I'm not going around as a girl in the daylight."

"Agreed," Lawrence said. "And don't worry. After I'm through with you, nobody will suspect you, honestly."

I wasn't convinced, but loved him deeply and didn't want to do anything to upset or displease him.

"I'll tell you what," Lawrence continued in a reassuring tone, "I'll go to the shops and get you a few extra things to make you look that bit more convincing."

"OK, darling. You go and I'll stay here to do some tidying up." After he left, I put on my bra, panties, denim mini-skirt and pretty white top with spaghetti straps. Already I felt quite like the little housewife as I cleaned, dusted, did the washing-up, then the laundry. I knew Lawrence was a stickler for order and tidiness and wanted him to be pleased with me when he got back.

While I was relaxing on the sofa listening to the radio after my morning's hard work, I heard Lawrence return. Again he was carrying quite a few bags, and I was intrigued what was in them.

"Hello, sweetheart. Been busy I see." Lawrence looked around approvingly at his immaculate living room. I jumped off the sofa to check the contents of the bags, but Lawrence stopped me. "No, let's go out first. You can try these on later."

I changed back into tee-shirt and jeans and we stocked up with a few snacks from the fridge. He then drove me to a local beauty spot about ten miles away, beside a lake. We lay on the grass and spent a lovely afternoon together under the blazing sun, eating our lunch and chatting pleasantly. We got back in his car around three o'clock and it was then I remembered my promise. My stomach began to churn as we travelled back.

When we got back to Lawrence's house I immediately rushed upstairs to find out what he had bought me. Looking in the largest bag first, I pulled out a gorgeous, lilac and white summer dress. There were also various ladies' toiletries and cosmetics, as well as underwear and some obviously inexpensive but pretty jewellery: a bead necklace, bangle set, and a pair of earrings. He had also purchased a long, auburn wig and a shoulder bag. As ever, Lawrence had an unerring sense of what would be to my taste, and had gone to great lengths to try to accentuate my growing femininity.

"What do you think?" a voice behind me enquired.

"They're really nice, dear. Thank you. Should I wear this dress tonight?"

"That's the idea. I've booked tickets for the 10.30 performance. We're getting the taxi there. I fancy a drink beforehand, so I don't want to drive."

Again a cold shiver passed up my back at the prospect of trying to pass off as a girl in a crowded pub, but I kept my thoughts to myself, trying to put on a brave face. 

We passed the next few hours listening to music and watching a video. That time went by all too quickly. Again the fear mounted in my stomach. At seven, Lawrence declared: "Right, time for you to get ready!"

Leading me upstairs, he sat me on the chair in front of his bedroom mirror; he handed me a bottle of varnish so I could paint my nails, then watched as I applied make-up: foundation, lipstick, mascara and eye-shadow. I had been reading about cosmetics, and was becoming quite adept at applying them without making myself look like some kind of a painted hussy. I also plucked my eyebrows. I looked in the mirror; I didn't look too bad.

I stripped off my tee-shirt and jeans, and moisturised my legs. "What do you think, darling? Should I go bare-legged or wearing stockings?" I asked.

"Well, you have nice legs but stockings are more feminine," was the reply.

So I put on a pair of pink hold-up stockings, followed by a lacy bra and panty set, also pink. Lawrence then handed me a strange object attached to a strap. He called this a 'cache-sex' and said it went around my waist and down the front of my panties. It pressed my little penis down between my legs, suppressing erections and giving me a flatter, more feminine look. It certainly did the trick; after I'd put it on, you couldn't tell there was a penis between my legs.

I slipped on the new dress, which Lawrence zipped up at the back, and also a pair of strappy pink sling-backed sandals. My necklace, bangles and earrings were next, and Lawrence fixed my new wig on with a special adhesive, after he'd made all the necessary adjustments. 

After I had squirted some perfume on my neck and the back of my hands, I was complete and ready to go. I checked the mirror again. My mood improved. I felt sexy and good about myself again. At least now there was some excitement mingling with the fear. Lawrence made me practice walking like a girl, keeping my legs together so that my stockings brushed against one another, and with a slight swaying of the hips, but without exaggeration. 

I walked up and down the living room, making short, dainty strides, keeping one foot in front of the other, as I was told. I practiced using a softer voice, even though mine is rather effeminate already. Finally, he advised me to avoid sudden, brusque movements, but to do everything slowly and smoothly. I really needed longer than an hour for this, but I guess it was better than nothing.

"You look lovely, angel," Lawrence said, "but there is another thing you need -- a girl's name. I can't very well call you Julian. What should I call you?"

"I'll let you decide, darling," I replied.

"Well, Julia is a bit too obvious," he said. "I've always liked Emma. What do you think?"

"Emma's fine by me. It's nice." A shiver of delight ran up my spine to be thus referred to as a girl.

The clock ticked inexorably on. Unlike me, Lawrence got ready in about ten minutes. We sat on the sofa, waiting. Just after nine-thirty, the doorbell rang. For me, it was like the clap of doom.

"Come on, sweetheart. I'll look after you," said Lawrence, trying to calm me. I took his arm as I put my bag over my shoulder and walked to the door. I felt unsteady and needed his support. Finally, this was it. I was going to be exposed as a girl to the outside world.

"Taxi for Mr Scrivener to the rail station," said the man at the door.

"Yes," confirmed Lawrence. The driver didn't look twice at me, which was a relief. So far, so good. We stepped out into the night air. Despite the late hour, it was still sweltering -- very unusual for England. It occurred to me how superior girls' clothes are to men's in such weather. Whereas girls can keep cool and still wear clothes that are socially acceptable, men are forced to suffer in their stifling shirts and trousers. It seems to me that whoever first designed clothes specifically for men must have been some kind of sadist.

But I felt delightfully comfortable in my light, cotton mini-dress. It was only a ten minute ride to the station. Lawrence sat with me on the back seat, holding my hand throughout, knowing I needed reassurance. We stepped out, Lawrence paid the driver, and we walked along the streets. Even though they were very familiar to me, they seemed very different now. I felt vulnerable, threatened.

I was sick with nerves, and clung on to Lawrence's arm for comfort. "Where are we going first?" I could barely get the words out, my throat felt so constricted.

"I thought we'd go to the Red House for a little drink. It's not too crowded, even on a Saturday." The Red House, despite its name, is actually a pub, named after its distinctive red brick.

We turned the corner and entered. It wasn't as well populated as other bars in the town, but there were still a good few there. We went to the bar. "What would you like Emma?" he asked. 

It felt wonderful to be addressed for the first time in public as a girl. "A large red wine, please," I replied. I needed the Dutch courage this would give me. We passed three handsome young men leaning on the bar and conversing. As we did so, I noticed one of them furtively looking down admiringly at my legs. I have to admit it gave me a thrill to know I was attractive to him, and it occurred to me how strong the hold is some women have over men.

We got the drinks and found an unoccupied corner table. Thankfully the pub lights were quite dim, so I didn't feel too vulnerable. I gulped my wine down quickly. I normally didn't drink but needed alcohol now. I asked Lawrence to get me another large wine. He went back to the bar. For the first time, I was left alone in public in girls' clothes. I began to relax slightly, partly because of the depressive effect of the alcohol.

Lawrence returned with my drink, clasped my hand and asked if I felt OK. "Not too bad," I replied," but I could do with another drink."

As I drank the wine and chatted, I felt distinctly better and started to believe I could get through the night without having a nervous breakdown.

We left and walked the short distance arm-in-arm to the cinema. Thankfully, there weren't too many in the audience. The house lights were fully on when we took our seats, and so I felt rather uncomfortable and exposed. However, after about ten minutes the lights dimmed as the usual pre-film adverts and trailers came on, and I loosened up a little.

The main feature had just started when the diuretic effect of the wine really kicked in and I desperately needed to pee. This was something I just hadn't thought about or planned. After crossing my legs tightly for a while, I realised I would just have to bite the bullet and go to the ladies'. Otherwise, I would pee my panties. I certainly couldn't go to the men's, dressed the way I was. I whispered to Lawrence that I would have to go and he told me just to keep calm and that I was doing very well.

Despite feeling slightly inebriated, my heart was in my mouth as I approached the door bearing the figure wearing a skirt symbol. I felt as if I were a smuggler carrying illegal contraband passing customs officials; my nervousness would surely give me away. I just hoped there was no-one in.

I pushed open the door and entered a new world, previously unexplored by myself. The atmosphere was fragrant with ladies' perfume. The toilets were obviously better maintained than is usually the case for men's, and there seemed to be mirrors everywhere. They were brightly lit, which added to my nerves. Unfortunately, I had to pass two women tidying themselves up in front of the mirrors and chatting. I felt sure they would somehow realise who I was and scream or something, but they paid me no attention. I dived for the door of one of the cubicles. "Made it!" I thought.

As I hitched up my dress, pulled down my panties, and sat down to pee, my emotions again swung around to optimism. I had entered the inner sanctum of the female world and had got away with it! Looking back, this was a watershed for me. After I'd finished, I washed my hands and even lingered in front of the mirrors, preening myself.

Pushing open the door of the ladies' room, relief wasn't the word - I was absolutely exultant. Gone were the nerves. Gone was the fear. I just felt I was walking on air. I regained my seat next to Lawrence. "Was everything all right?" he enquired.

I simply replied "yes, just fine" and squeezed his thigh to reinforce my meaning.

The film was "The English Patient" but, to be frank, I couldn't tell you much about the plot. We spent most of the hour and a half touching each other up and paid little attention to the film. Eventually, the credits rolled up, the house lights came back on, and we ventured back outside. He asked me if I would like to go for something to eat, but I replied that I would rather go straight home. As we walked to the taxi rank, holding hands, I dragged Lawrence to an obscure spot behind a high wall, flung my arms around his neck, and kissed him open-mouthed with a hungry passion. Pulling away from him I remarked: "That's nothing to what's in store for you when I get you back!"

The sheer relief of experiencing so much fear and tension, and yet coming through it victorious, had sent my libido through the roof. I was so excited, and needed sex desperately. To put it crudely, I was going to let him have the fuck of his life when we got back to his place, to celebrate my public outing as a girl.




Julian Falls in Love Ch. 02



The taxi ride was short, but seemed to last for hours. After we'd entered Lawrence's house, he asked me if I'd like some coffee. Instead, I grabbed his hand and said, rather seriously: "No! I want you, and I want you now!" Lawrence seemed rather shocked, since this was unusually assertive on my part. Nevertheless, he didn't object as I led him upstairs to his bedroom and pushed him back on the bed.

After I'd unbuttoned his shirt, I proceeded to unhook the clasp of his trousers and pulled them off, together with his boxers, all in one go. The moonlight streamed in through the window, perfectly illuminating his gorgeous physique, so reminiscent of an Olympic rower's -- a firm, strong and perfectly formed work of sculpture. He looked good enough to eat.

I undid my dress and let it fall to the floor. I then began to stimulate his semi-erect cock with my tongue. Given his great virility, it wasn't long before he was again ready for love. With great haste, I yanked my panties down, took the bottle at the side of his bed, and lubricated myself liberally. I didn't bother taking my stockings, bra or shoes off -- my need for sex was too urgent for that.

I straddled him and impaled myself on his cock. I didn't bother with a condom either -- I had to feel his bare cock inside me. Lawrence remained passive, understanding my imperious need after such a tension filled day. I grasped him by the shoulders and bounced up and down on him, allowing myself to be repeatedly penetrated by his wonderful hardness.

We fucked furiously like this for several minutes. Occasionally I would lean across his chest and kiss Lawrence and I would tell him how much I loved him. He allowed me to take control during this time. However, a turning point came. He suddenly seized me by the hips, lifted my bottom up, and began thrusting vigorously up into me, so much so his thighs slapped repeatedly against my soft, delicate buttocks. I relinquished control as he rammed his cock into me. 

We were now both groaning loudly as if we were in pain. The walls of Lawrence's house were paper-thin and the neighbours could probably hear us. But we were past caring. Lawrence's self-control was finally broken as he shouted: "Oh Emma I need you so much! I'd be lost without you!" With that, he split my buttocks one final time with a vigorous masculine thrust. I felt three bursts of warm semen inundate my insides.

Not forgetting that his 'girl' also needed to be pleasured, he quickly masturbated me until I came in floods over his chest. I collapsed upon him, the sweat of our hot bodies mingling in the sultry, early-morning air. I felt deliriously happy, and it was then I resolved that I would become a girl, no matter what the obstacles were.

Lying together afterward, kissing and cuddling, Lawrence asked me if I'd like to go on holiday with him a couple of weeks later. I accepted his invitation eagerly, already looking forward to spending a whole week alone with my new love. The story of that holiday is one I'd like to relate at another time.



Julian Falls in Love Ch. 03



That night I slept like a log after the exhilarating but exhausting sex of the previous night. I half awoke and reached my arm out to Lawrence, only to find empty space. I opened my eyes wide and saw him by the bed dressed only in his boxer shorts lifting weights. I could never become tired at looking at such a fine specimen of a man. But what made him so attractive was that, unlike many keep-fit fanatics, he didn't allow his brain to atrophy as his musculature developed. As well as being a virile and exciting lover, he was a charming and witty conversationalist -- someone with whom the hours flew by. He also had an uncanny sense of my emotional needs at any moment and was ready to fill them.

"Come back to bed, darling" I said, lifting up the duvet to let him in. I just needed to be squeezed and cuddled, nothing more. Leaving off his exercises, he smiled, got back into bed, and gently put his arms around me, stroking my hair and pulling me to him. I rested my head on his chest, whispered that I loved him, and closed my eyes, blissfully happy and trying to picture how fantastic it was going to be to spend a whole week alone with him. 

Furthermore, we had decided I would be going as Emma! Seven days without having to wear scratchy, sweaty, uncomfortable masculine clothes! The prospect both excited me and slightly alarmed me. However, after my successful outing the previous evening, I felt a lot more confident I could carry it off.

When we eventually got up after a long lie in, while we were having breakfast, I told Lawrence I had something very important to discuss with him. "I've been researching something on the internet," I began hesitantly.

"What have you been researching?" he asked, intrigued.

"Hormones," I replied. "I know I'm really a girl inside, and I'd like to transform myself, at least part of the way."

"That's a big step, Emma sweetheart," he said. He was getting used to my new name, which was nice. Holding my hands empathetically, he continued: "let's see how you feel after our holiday. After you've some time being a girl, you'll have a better idea whether you want to be like that for the long haul. Also, there's your job and your parents to be considered."

I had thought about all the obstacles but was sure in my own mind. Still, I knew it was good advice to wait a while.

"And if you're still determined," he continued, "I'll take care of the financial side. Hormones are expensive."

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him in gratitude. I knew very well I couldn't afford them on my own. That was one worry out of the way.

We then discussed where to go on our holiday, and decided we would book into a hotel at a skiing resort in the north-east of Scotland. There would be much magnificent scenery to enjoy and many fine hill walks. It would be good for us. There would also be places to go in the evening.

"Well, that's the holiday sorted. What shall we do now? How about ending the weekend how we started it." In so saying, he slid his hand up my nightdress and stroked the top of my thigh.

"Mmm I'll have to think about it," I replied teasingly.

"You have five seconds to decide," he said sternly. "1-2-3-4-5. No answer? Right, I'll take that as a 'yes' then."

With that he picked me up and carried me upstairs. Pulling off my nightdress, he sat me on the edge of the bed and knelt on the floor. He kissed me all over, sucked my nipples, and even turned me round to give me analingus, which I adore. 

I was moaning like a schoolgirl having sex for the first time. I reached down and found his semi-hard penis, stimulating it with my fingers so that it regained full erection. Lawrence lubricated me with his fingers, slipped on a condom, and lifted my legs on to his shoulders, so that my opening was fully exposed to him. He pressed into me gently and I felt the sensation, now becoming familiar but just as pleasurable, of my sphincter being dilated. 

He began to slide in and out, whilst gripping my thighs with his large hands and pulling me toward him on each thrust so as to get the maximum penetration. It always amazed me how he started lovemaking so much in command yet, at a certain point, he would completely lose all self-control, rocking his pelvis convulsively and groaning. Just before he climaxed he squeezed my thighs so much that it hurt and buried his manhood in me as far as he could, a look of ecstatic joy passing across his face. I loved the sheer physical gratification of sex with Lawrence, but more than that, I basked in the emotional comfort of his loving attentions during foreplay and in the afterglow. And he always made the time to be tender and express his deep feelings for me.

Over lunch, Lawrence hit me with another bombshell, to add to the one from the previous day. "Look, Emma, I have to go to London next week on business. I've asked one of my very good friends, Lucy, to look after you and give you some coaching on being a girl. She'll tell you about clothes, manners, make-up -- that sort of thing. She works as a beautician, so she knows a thing or two. Here's her number. Give her a ring. I've told her to expect you."

I was absolutely mortified. "Lawrence, how could you? I thought this was going to be our secret. You mean she knows all about us."

"Emma, darling," he said, "I can assure you Lucy is a lovely lady and is broad-minded about these things. Also, she is utterly trustworthy and wouldn't tell a soul. Just meet her and you'll see."

"Lawrence, I do wish you would tell me about these things beforehand!"

"Just give her a chance," he implored. "I'll leave some of your things at her place, so you can try them on there."

Lawrence saw me to the door, and assured me with a kiss that he would ring every day from London. I felt a little sad but it had been a delicious weekend, and I knew I would be seeing him again soon. I walked home that day with a spring in my step. Normally I felt depressed on a Sunday afternoon with the dismal prospect of work the next day, but now I had something to really look forward to. I had met a man who I truly loved and had given my sad life a fresh direction, all in the space of a couple of weeks. 

Still, the impending visit to Lucy was nagging at the back of my mind. Was she as discreet as Lawrence said? I was still afraid of being exposed as a sissy boy and humiliated.

After work the following day, Lawrence rang me from London and asked if I had been in touch with Lucy yet. I admitted I hadn't. He nagged me to do it as soon as I'd finished speaking to him. Again I expressed my reservations about the whole project. "Please just do it for me. I love you Emma and I wouldn't do anything to make you unhappy." I melted when I heard this and promised to ring Lucy as soon as I could.

With slightly trembling hands I dialled the number on the piece of paper Lawrence had given me. A cheery female with a homely south-eastern accent answered almost immediately. "It's Julian. I mean Emma." My voice sounded so squeaky it seemed barely audible. "Lawrence told me to ring you."

"Hello Emma. It's so nice to speak to you. Lawrence has told me so much about you." I wondered miserably just how much he had told her. "Look, I'm free Friday afternoon, sweetie. Can you get some time off work? Then we can take our time getting you prepared." I replied I could get the afternoon off. I took her address and arranged to call at her house.

That week passed all too quickly as, to be honest, I dreaded going to Lucy's. She lived in one of the smart new flats converted from warehouses in the centre of town. On Friday afternoon, about 2 pm I walked up to her door, rang the doorbell and prepared to meet my doom. I heard the unmistakeable click-clack of high-heeled shoes on tiled flooring coming closer and closer. She opened the door. "Hello darling! Come right on in!"

Words cannot express my first impressions of Lucy. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties, had shoulder-length russet coloured hair, and a lovely round face with luscious red lips and gorgeous brown eyes. She was taller than me; she must have been at least 5'10". She was wearing a cropped grey top over her obviously generous breasts and a blue denim skirt. She glided with an effortless grace. Although she was in her casual day wear, I knew then that this woman exuded class from every pore.

Her obvious beauty made me even more nervous. Here I was with the pretence of being a girl and the real thing was in front of me! I felt sure I was in for an afternoon of her contempt and scorn. "Sit down, sweetie and I'll get you something to drink. Would you like coffee?" Sensing my discomfort, she added "or maybe you'd like something stronger? A glass of red wine perhaps?"

I nodded my head and said "yes, that would be nice thank you."

"Well, in that case, I think I'll join you. Although we girls have to make sure we don't go overboard with drink. It plays havoc with your figure, you know!"

After she had taken her first sip of wine and I had started gulping mine, she continued: "so, you're the little angel that's stolen Lawrence's heart, are you? He thinks so much of you, you know. Before he was so miserable but you've really perked him up."

Lucy was trying her hardest to be welcoming and friendly, but I felt as if I were being squeezed in a vice. I didn't know how to respond. I grimaced and felt my cheeks go bright red with embarrassment, which was always one of my problems. "I like him very much" was all I managed to get out.

Lucy was not to be put off. "Tell me all about yourself, angel. I want to hear everything. There must be something special about you to have such an effect on Lawrence. He isn't easily impressed, you know."

Her speech was full of affectionate terms like 'sweetie', 'dear' and 'darling', which would have been irritating coming from someone else. But with Lucy, they added to her charm and attractiveness. She had the most endearing idiosyncrasy of ending even the blandest sentence with a sweet, unforced smile, so she appeared even more beautiful.

She refilled my glass, since I had downed the first rather rapidly. I replied to her lengthy questions with mostly one-word answers, then very gradually began to relax as the tranquilising effect of the wine began to assume control.

"I know it's not very easy for you, sugar, but you can trust me, you know. I know how you feel."

She sounded so sincere that I began to warm to her. After another glass of wine, the tightening in my stomach had almost completely disappeared. "Right, let's get started. A shower to begin with, I think." Before I'd had time to wonder what she meant, she took me by the hand, pulled me to my feet, and led me upstairs.

"There are some towels hanging on the rail and some clean underwear," she said. I noticed a pretty cherry red bra and panty set beside the towels, together with my breast inserts. "I'll be with you in a few minutes." I wondered what on earth she could mean as I stripped off and got into the shower. 

After a few minutes I got out, towelled down, and put on my panties and bra. "Lucy," I shouted, "can I have the rest of my clothes?"

The reply came straight away: "Just come in here as you are, darling. There are a few things I need to attend to first."

"But I'm nearly naked Lucy!" I protested.

"Don't be silly," she admonished. "We're all girls together! I'm not going to ravish you!"

Reluctantly I walked into her bedroom in my bra and panties. She was waiting, a huge case of cosmetics on the bed and ladies' clothes strewn all over the place. "Sit down, darling," Lucy said. I did as I was told. Despite being very sweet, she had a commanding tone that didn't brook any argument. Switching on a depilator, she began to run it up and down my legs, which caused me to wince initially but very quickly I got used to it. She also removed all traces of hair from my arms. She then moisturised my legs, while commenting that I had "lovely soft skin".

Lucy's close attentions and her prettiness had the unfortunate effect of giving me an erection, which was all too obvious as the crotch of my panties bulged in a most unsightly manner. "Oh dear!" she exclaimed. "That just won't do! You'll never get your cache-sex on over that!" She seemed to know more than she should about the subject.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. I just couldn't help it!" I said. I felt so embarrassed.

"Don't apologise, angel," she said in a softer voice. I thought you didn't fancy girls. I suppose I should feel flattered! Just give me a minute." I tried desperately to focus on something strictly non-erotic like garbage collection to try and dampen down my erection, but was totally unsuccessful. If anything, I became even harder in my panties.

Lucy returned a minute later carrying a towel and sponge. She sat on her bed and said in a firm tone "Right, let's be having you." She pulled me on to her knee before I had time to protest and pulled down my panties. She was surprisingly strong and had quite a powerful grip. I'm not sure I could have resisted her. 

My erect penis immediately sprang up. I was mortified and voiced my shocked surprise. "Lucy! What are you doing! This isn't right!"

"Oh don't be such a big baby!" was her retort. "This is purely functional, I can assure you. We can't have that ugly thing spoiling your panty line, can we?" She began to draw my foreskin over my gland with one hand, making me tense up immediately. "Just relax, angel," she said. "I just want to make your little fellah go down."

Since I couldn't do anything about it, I decided to just enjoy the experience. I lay back against her, my back pressing against her soft boobs and her delicious perfume invading my nostrils, which made my head spin. While she held me around the waist with her left arm, she gently rubbed my penis with her free right hand. Her hands were superbly manicured. She had long fingernails, with which she would occasionally stab me slightly in my scrotum, adding to my growing excitement. The whole situation was surreal; it was as if I could see myself from above, being masturbated by this pretty girl.

"That's it baby," she said. "Just let me know when you're going to come. Stain my clothes and I'll murder you!" she threatened. I wondered whether she was joking or not. It wasn't long before I felt the pleasure mount in my groin. "Oh Lucy, that feels wonderful!" I cried. She took the towel just before I climaxed to catch my ejaculate. I moaned uncontrollably and spurted wave after wave of thick cum into the towel. 

For me, it was unbelievably erotic, but for Lucy it was merely a mechanical operation. She wrapped up the towel, took the sponge and cleaned my pubic area. "Right, let's get you dressed," said Lucy. "Let's get this on you before your little man starts to take an interest in me again!"

Lucy strapped the cache-sex on me tightly, which forced my now flaccid member and scrotum between my legs. She put my panties back on; the crotch area was now nicely flat and feminine. "I've been through your clothes," said Lucy. Lawrence tries hard, but it really takes a woman, so I did a little shopping expedition during the week. Don't worry about the money; Lawrence left his credit card with me. We'll start with these."

Lucy held out a red satin suspender belt for me to step into, which she hooked on to a pair of fine-meshed black fishnet stockings. She then produced a beautiful plain black armless dress with scoop neck and ribbed detail that finished just above the knee. It hugged my figure nicely without being too tight. Lucy then asked me to put on a pair of nice strappy black shoes with three inch heels -- enough to be sexy and feminine but not impossible to walk in. I then sat at Lucy's dressing table in front of the mirror.

Lucy must have spent a good two hours making me up and giving me the benefit of her professional expertise. In fact, she imparted all her secret beauty tips, such as using primer as a base to ensure foundation lasts longer and using a concealer brush to get rid of any dark circles under the eyes. When applying my lipstick, she told me to blot my lips with a tissue then reapply to guarantee a more lasting effect and to match the lipstick colour with the outfit I'm wearing. 

I was also recommended to apply two coatings of waterproof mascara. She said a girl never looks worse when, after crying, mascara is running down her face. For eyebrows, I was told not to over-pluck them, since then they look plain ugly and to choose a colour of eyebrow pencil one shade lighter than my hair colour so as not to appear over-dramatic.

She put on my shoulder-length auburn wig, my necklace, earrings and bracelet, and asked me to stand up. Pronouncing herself satisfied, she kissed me on the cheek and said "you'll pass." Looking at myself in the mirror, I was staggered at the transformation Lucy had performed. Confidence flooded into me and I even found the boldness to ask Lucy a personal question.

"Do you have a boyfriend, Lucy?"

For once, Lucy seemed a bit nonplussed. "No, I like girls, if you know what I mean."

A lesbian! I couldn't believe it! This girl was like every teenage boy's fantasy. She could have had any man she wanted! What a waste, I thought, but then I remembered who and what I was. "I'm sorry, Lucy I didn't mean to pry," I said.

"Don't be, angel," she said. "I was in a relationship with a man but he used to get drunk and hit me and so I went off men for good." I simply couldn't believe how a man could be so horrid as to abuse such a delightful girl.

"Right," she said, changing the subject quickly, "on to decorum and deportment. Let's see you walking. The best way to learn to walk like a girl is using the old-fashioned method of balancing a book on your head." Indeed, after about a half-hour of practice walking around Lucy's flat with a large volume on my head, I found I was forced to keep an upright posture, but throwing my weight slightly forward on to the balls of my feet, and to neither stride out like a man or use mincing steps.

"Don't wriggle your bum too much. Just walk naturally and you'll be OK," she added. It was now 7.30 pm and I expected just to dress back into my masculine clothes and go home. Lucy had other ideas. "Right," she said, "time for us to head off."

"Where are we going?" I managed to stammer, worriedly. 

"We're going out for a drink just as soon as I'm ready." Again the panic surged into my stomach.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, Lucy. What about, I mean what happens if I'm approached by a man?"

"Don't worry, sweetie," she replied. "That's unlikely to happen at the Rendezvous."

I knew that the Rendezvous was one of a cluster of gay and lesbian pubs and clubs in the west end of town just five minutes' walk from Lucy's flat, which I hadn't the courage to enter. I felt slightly reassured.

Suddenly, Lucy pulled off her cropped top and exposed her gorgeous firm breasts. She wasn't wearing a bra. I opened my mouth to protest, but quickly realised this would be futile. After removing her skirt, she slipped into a lovely fringed red dress with a halter neck and put on some black stockings. She looked even more stunning. I wished with all my heart that I could be like this girl. She noticed I was gawping at her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's just that you're such a very pretty lady, Lucy" was all I could manage to say.

"That's very sweet of you," she said. "You're a bit of a cutie yourself," she added, kissing my forehead, which again made me blush bright red. "In fact," she went on, "if I didn't know any better, I might have made a move for you. In saying this she patted my bottom playfully.

"A few final pieces of advice," said Lucy. "We don't belch in public or scratch ourselves in embarrassing places. Smooth the back of your dress before you sit down and keep your legs together. You don't want to show your knickers to everyone."




Julian Falls in Love Ch. 03



After Lucy had put on her make-up, we both stepped out with our clutch handbags to make the short journey to the pub. We sat down at a spare table, having ordered drinks. The friendly, relaxed atmosphere made me feel better and began to chat freely with Lucy. Very quickly we were joined by a girl who obviously knew Lucy. "This is Cassie," said Lucy by way of introduction. "Cassie, this is my friend Emma."

"Pleased to meet you, Emma," said Cassie. She was a good-looking girl about my age with her black hair tied in a pretty ponytail. It turned out she was a student of interior design at university. As the three of us talked, there wasn't the slightest hint that Cassie was aware of my true identity. We got on like a house on fire. We talked about the things girls generally talk about together, which men like to write off as pointless trivia. I joined in easily and realised I was really beginning to think like a girl, which I found very pleasing.

Without the slightest hesitation, I even accompanied Cassie to the ladies', where I continued my conversation with her seated on the toilet, while she was in the next stall.

We had such a nice evening I didn't notice the passing of time and realised I had missed the last bus home. Lucy said I could spend the night at her place, sleeping on the sofa. "Don't get any funny ideas about visiting my bedroom during the night," she joked. "I have a terrific right hook."

I spent the whole weekend getting more coaching from Lucy and going to the Rendezvous. We became firm friends. As I left her on Sunday evening, I hugged her and thanked her for everything. I now felt much more secure as a girl. "That's all right, darling," she said. "Have a lovely time in Scotland with Lawrence."

I couldn't wait.



Julian Falls in Love Ch. 04



Lawrence came back from his business trip the day before we were due to set off for Scotland, Aviemore to be precise, in the north east of the country. It was much too far for him to drive -- more than 400 miles -- so we decided to take the train. The thought of spending more than six hours dressed as a girl among other passengers made me a little nervous, but Lawrence told me to relax and that I would be just fine. The coaching given to me by Lucy did me make feel a lot more confident about appearing in public as Emma, but it would still be a bit of a trial.

We packed our suitcases the night before. Mine was chock full of panties, bras, tops, stockings, skirts and a mass of beauty products. I was not allowed to take a single masculine item of clothing, since Lawrence demanded that I have a 'total immersion experience' as a girl for a week. Even the razor I used to shave my body hair was designed for ladies. Lawrence criticised me jokingly for the amount of things I was taking, which in a way reassured me that my thinking was becoming increasingly feminine! 

Lawrence had booked us into a hotel as man and wife, into a double room. Just the thought of being alone with him for a week was a real turn-on, and I couldn't wait to get my hands on him after his ten days of absence. After we finished our packing we began to kiss and cuddle, but unfortunately we couldn't spend the night together since I had a few things to attend to at home. Lawrence seemed really disappointed but I promised I made would make it up to him.

In the morning I went to Lawrence's house, where I fussed over my choice of clothing for the trip but eventually opted for a long, flowery summer dress with a slip underneath as it was quite sheer and you could see the outline of my bra and panties through it. I also wore a pair of candy pink hold-up stockings and gold-coloured sandals. We took the taxi to the station, boarded the train, and then we were off. It was a beautiful day, the sun streaming through the windows. I closed my eyes, rested my head against Lawrence's shoulder, and relaxed. I felt good and at ease with myself. No-one had looked at me in any untoward manner. In fact, the deference shown me by the male passengers, such as letting me down the aisle first, was a real pleasure. I realised being female, especially a good-looking one, could have its advantages.

Another thing I should mention is that I had bought an artificial vagina by mail order from a firm specialising in transvestite clothes and aids. It was really ingenious, if a little expensive. Not only did it enable me to tuck my penis away discreetly so that I was nicely flat and feminine in the crotch but it enabled me to sit down and pee without needing to remove it. Also, from what I had read about it, there was no need to take it off when my boyfriend made love to me. In any event, it was far more comfortable than the cache-sex I had previously worn and made me feel more girlish and erotic.

Thankfully the journey passed uneventfully. We got off at Aviemore at around seven o' clock in the evening and walked the short distance to the hotel. With some alacrity, I might add, since it seemed ages since we had shared a bed and I felt a aching longing for Lawrence, to be held in his strong arms, to be kissed, caressed and feel his body against mine. I fully intended the night to be one he would remember.

The hotel was quite luxurious, at least as far as my past experience was concerned. To be addressed as 'madam' by the handsome male receptionist was thrilling. I smiled warmly back at him, only to be given a warning look by Lawrence. The room was really nice with a breathtaking view of the nearby hills. However, we were more taken with each other than with the scenery. As soon as we had shut the door Lawrence put his arms around my waist, pulled me to him and kissed me passionately. I felt his hand sliding up underneath my dress. "I was going to take you out for something to eat but we are a little tired, so how about an early night, angel?"

"That suits me!" I replied, knowing exactly what he had in mind. But I gently pushed him away, explaining I needed a bath after my long journey and a change of clothes.

I had a nice scented bath and an anal douche, ensuring I was nice and clean 'down there' for the passion to come. I had discovered that a bath relaxed me and made it easier to have sex. I renewed my make-up, sprayed myself on my neck, wrists and thighs with a lovely floral perfume, and put on my new outfit. Unknown to Lawrence, I had purchased a complete schoolgirl uniform, consisting of a light blue shirt, striped tie, grey box-pleated mini-skirt, white cotton knee socks and black, block-heeled shoes. I tied my long hair back into a pony tail and looked at myself in the full-length bathroom mirror; even if I say so myself, I looked pretty good. I knew Lawrence thought girls looked really sexy in school uniform so I wanted to give him a pleasant surprise.

I stepped out of the bathroom. Lawrence, who was sat in a chair watching TV, gave a look of astonishment as if he could hardly believe his eyes. "Well, what do you think?" I asked, sitting on his knee and bouncing up and down on him playfully.

"Emma darling, you look absolutely gorgeous!" He put his arm around me, hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek. I was so pleased he approved! Lawrence tried to watch the sports results but I scolded him for being more interested in them than in me.

Here I will reproduce the account of what happened next I wrote the following day. In it, I attempted to describe faithfully my feelings as Lawrence made love to me. It is written in the present tense to give a sense of immediacy.

Lawrence gives up his attempts to watch TV and turns the set off, instead putting on some soft music on the radio. We stand up and he smiles at me, a smile I return readily, knowing the delights to come. He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me tightly to him, kissing me deeply and fondling my bottom through my skirt. I am almost trembling with desire and I can scarcely breathe normally. I adore his manly frame against my fragile body; submissively I allow myself to go limp in his arms so as to let him know he can do as he wants with me. I want him so much!

His kiss is delightful and our mouths and tongues mingle for many minutes before he pulls away. I want this kiss to go on forever. But my disappointment is short-lived. He kisses me again with increased ardour, his hand venturing above my socks to stroke my thighs. I begin to sigh softly, erotic sparks of electricity coursing through my body. One of the things I like about Lawrence is that he always takes his time when making love, treating me considerately like a real girl in a strong yet gentle way. 

We carry on like this for possible twenty minutes, becoming ever more excited. Finally, I decide I want to give him a more substantial pleasure. I break free of Lawrence and ask him to lie down on the bed. I unbutton his shirt and kiss every delicious inch of his finely muscled torso. Next, I unbuckle his trousers and slide them down his legs. He is clearly very aroused as evidenced by the prominent bulge in his boxer shorts. For several instants I caress his hardness through the cotton of his underwear, whilst kissing his firm thighs.

I pull his shorts down with some difficulty, his penis springing up as if to salute me. Immediately I begin to suck him whilst rubbing his foreskin lightly, my tongue flicking at his sensitive fraenulum. He begins to moan; I have done this several times now and I am becoming quite adept at oral sex. I don't drive his member crudely into my mouth aggressively as you see so often in porno films. I take my time, running my tongue up his entire length and licking his lovely exposed prepuce. His penis reacts to the warmth and wetness of my mouth by becoming even harder. I want so much to give pleasure to this man and am gratified by the sight of his fine erection. I don't care if some people would find this repellent; fellatio is so beautiful if done rightly and with someone you love.

I know he is ready for me and I whisper for him to undress me. He first removes my tie and I offer my throat to him. He is intoxicated by my perfume and covers my neck with the most ardent kisses, now and then giving me little love bites. He then undoes my shirt and unhooks my bra, tweaking and licking my nipples. At the same time I stroke his penis, so that it maintains its rigidity. Again bolts of excitement shoot through my body. He unzips my skirt and slides it off my legs. My shoes are next but he allows me to keep my knee-socks and panties on. He falls on me for more kissing. I drink in his tongue and pull him against me. My need is now desperate. Lawrence, I want you inside me now!

He reaches for the lubricant and asks me to turn over. I get on my hands and knees after which he slides my white cotton panties down my legs and probes my opening very gently with his finger, taking care not to hurt me. I cannot help but moan. His finger makes contact with my prostate, giving me the most exquisite sensations. He knows me well enough me now to realise how I like to be pleasured. He spreads my buttocks, covering them all over with kisses.

He asks me to sit on top of him. He is so tender and considerate he needs to know I am comfortable with me inside him before he does anything else. He lies on his back and I grasp his hard penis. My back is turned to him so he can take me 'reverse cowgirl' style. I place his member against my opening. I draw my breath in as my sphincter gradually adapts to the girth of his penis, but happily the discomfort only lasts for about a minute. I rest my hands against his thighs and begin to move slowly up and down, occasionally wriggling my bottom to enhance my lover's pleasure. I close my eyes and completely shut out the world and its grossness; this is simply marvellous. All I feel are waves of pleasure rippling through me, warm colours dancing in front of my inner eye as I toss my head back and savour the sensations Lawrence is giving me. I feel kisses rain down upon my neck as Lawrence places his hands on my hips so as to assist my up-and-down movements.

As I become more confident, I begin to push down more vigorously. Lawrence tells me to take my time and go a little more easily. He stops me and turns me gently on my side. Lawrence takes the lead now and thrusts slowly in and out of me. I turn my head and we kiss open-mouthed. His right hand clasps my left, as if to give me reassurance. Several minutes later the relentless stimulation of my prostate takes its effect and I feel the wonderful sensation of approaching orgasm begin to build within me. I resist the temptation to touch my penis. It is not needed. Oh you gorgeous man! You're going to make me come! Lawrence senses this and speeds up. As I climax I shudder and moan, allowing the delight to wash over me. I turn to my lover and smile. We kiss warmly, and I squeeze his hand tightly as if to thank him.

The nicest thing about a prostate orgasm is that it doesn't blunt my desire or leave me feeling sad and deflated, which are unfortunate side effects of the usual male climax. I can go on. We change positions again. This time Lawrence places me on my hands and knees and gets behind me. Again I feel the wonderful sensation of his hard organ penetrating me, Lawrence's thighs making contact my hairless, girlish bottom as he moves in and out of me.

Again I close my eyes so as to focus on the enjoyment my boyfriend is giving me. I push my bum back so as to meet his thrusts and gain maximum penetration. I know he appreciates this from his whispers of encouragement. I feel deliciously vulnerable exposing myself totally like this to my lover but I know I can trust him not to cause me pain. Again I feel the pleasure rising within me. Oh baby that feels so good! Please don't stop! Moans of ecstasy escape from me. I can't help it. He leans over me and kisses the nape of my neck, caressing my cheek softly with his right hand. Even at the height of passion, his touch is delightful.

He withdraws from me and places me on my back. I fold my legs back toward my chest to accommodate him. He enters me again, and holds my legs over his shoulders. My whole body is tingling and, several thrusts later, I once again feel the pleasure shoot through me, prostate fluid spurting over my chest. He leans forward to give me another kiss; I open my mouth greedily to receive it. Now I want him to come for me and tell him so. I place my hands on his buttocks and pull him into me. He squeezes my thighs ever more tightly whilst his thrusting becomes more urgent. I pull his penis expand and erupt deep within me and he groans uncontrollably. He withdraws and falls on me; I feel enormously fulfilled. "Emma, my sweet little angel, I love you so much!" says Lawrence, covering my body with kisses.

These words release something in me, like water gushing from a burst dam. I begin to cry, caused by a combination of the intensity and happiness of our lovemaking, his affirmation of our love, and the contrast with my former lost and lonely life with all the bullying and heartache I had to suffer. But I cannot explain all this at the time and he is mortified that he may have hurt me. "No, it isn't that!" I assure him, but it is all I can manage to utter brokenly between sobbing. He takes me gently into his arms, and rests my head on his shoulder. He strokes my hair and kisses me until my crying subsides. Again I feel safe and secure. He never stops kissing and consoling me until I have completely calmed down.

I put on my nightdress and lie on the bed with my head against Lawrence's chest and his arms around me. There is a nice film on TV, which we watch for a while together, but I am so tired I fall asleep, calm and contented, in Lawrence's arms. I wake momentarily in the middle of the night and look at Lawrence's sleeping form. I am so lucky to have a lovely man like this to snuggle up to; someone who understands the way I am. I put my head on his shoulder and go back to sleep.

We got up early the next morning to go hill walking. It was a beautiful day with just a refreshing sharpness in the air, which you often get in the north of Scotland. There was no-one else about and it was wonderful to be able to walk with my boyfriend hand-in-hand or him with his arm around me. I wouldn't have dared to display this level of public intimacy back home. We got to the top of the hill and sat down together on a strangely shaped stone bench. We were elated after our climb. Lawrence gave me the sweetest kiss. I squeezed him tightly as I looked at the village hundreds of feet below. I felt on top of the world, completely liberated to be the girl I knew I was inside.

We packed in as much as we could during that week: walking lots, sightseeing, going to the cinema or restaurants in the evenings, and then going back to the hotel to make love. The resolution grew in me that I just couldn't go back to being a man. Despite all the obstacles I could see and those I couldn't see, being male just made me feel miserable, whereas when I was dressed as Emma with my man I was a happy, bubbly young lady, at peace with herself. Furthermore, I was growing nicely into girlhood. My fears of being out of doors dressed up were gradually disappearing. I wasn't quite ready to go to the ladies department of a store to buy clothes, but this was my dream.

On the final day of our holiday Lawrence said he wanted to have a serious word with me. The years of disappointment and rejection must have caused a worried frown to cross my face. I really began to panic that our relationship was ending. But Lawrence quickly put my mind at rest. "Don't look so worried, darling. This will make you happy, I hope." We both sat down on the bed while Lawrence held my two hands in his. "Emma sweetheart, I've known you just a short time but I've grown to love you very much. I would like it very much if you would come and live with me. Also, if you want to go ahead with the hormone treatment, or go even further, have no worries on the financial score darling. Look, I've got this for you."

I opened the small box he handed me. Inside was the most exquisite diamond ring, intended to mark our 'engagement'. I put it on my finger but really couldn't find the right words to say to thank him. I was overwhelmed by emotion. I flung my arms around his neck and gave way to tears. "Can I take that as a 'yes'?" Lawrence asked jokingly.

"I love you too Lawrence. You're the kindest and sweetest man I've ever met and you make me so happy. I'll move in with you if you'll have me!" Needless to say, the sex that night was utterly unrestrained and wonderful. No more nights in a lonely bed! 

It was a lovely end to a lovely holiday. But there were storm clouds gathering on the horizon that would threaten my happiness.



Julian Falls in Love Ch. 05



So I returned from our holiday with great excitement at the prospect of moving in with Lawrence but also with some anxiety. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to break the news to my parents. As events turned out, however, fate was to intervene rather brutally on my behalf.

I kissed Lawrence goodbye as he dropped me off at a discreet distance from my home. I was already feeling depressed having to go back to boring old Julian with his drab masculine clothes. I had spent a wonderful holiday in Scotland; now it was back to a tiresome reality. There was such a clash between what I was inside and the way I was forced to appear. Something had to give, and sure enough it did.

I found going back to work terribly difficult. I had to suppress all my feminine feelings and make a determined effort to appear masculine. Worst of all, I became aware that people were talking about me behind my back; I would hear them use mocking tones but then they would suddenly go silent at my approach and would address me in a rather unnatural sort of voice. I felt they had somehow found out about my real life and that made me panicky and miserable. One day I found a lingerie catalogue on my desk with a note stuck to it saying that I might be interested in it.

Each day that week I would go straight to my bedroom and have a good cry. I couldn't even go to Lawrence as once again he was away on work-related trips. I just tried to focus on the happiness I would find on moving in with my boyfriend but at times I caught myself asking whether I had chosen the right course in life.

I thought of all kinds of ways to tell my parents I was moving out, but just couldn't face the prospect of telling them the truth. Eventually, I lost all courage and decided to tell them I was just going to stay with a friend for the weekend. However, when I got home from work on the Friday evening I walked straight into a hurricane. 

My father has somehow logged into my pc and found all sorts of 'incriminating' emails sent by Lawrence. He had also searched my bedside cabinet and found several items of ladies' underwear. Funnily enough, he didn't get angry or shout; he seemed eerily calm. He just told me in a level voice to pack my bags and get out of the house and added that he wasn't having any perverts under his roof.

Something in his voice told me there was no point in arguing with him. I packed a suitcase in a daze, unable to believe this turn of events. I took about twenty minutes to pack, put my jacket on and walked towards the front door. My mother was there, gently sobbing.

"Why did you do it, son?"

"I don't know, mum. It's hard to explain. I'm just trying to act the way I feel inside."

"Please keep in touch and remember I still love you!"

"I will mum, don't worry!"

She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. I opened the door, walked out, and I was gone – for good I felt.

As Lawrence was away, I could think of only one place I could go. I walked the two miles or so to the centre of town and walked up to Lucy's door. I rang the bell and heard her footsteps. Thank God she was in! As soon as she appeared at the door, the exterior I had striven so hard to maintain crumbled and I burst into tears.

"What on earth's the matter, darling? Come on, you'd better come in!"

I put my suitcase down and sat on her sofa, with Lucy's arm around me, trying to calm me down. Eventually I managed to compose myself.

"Lucy, I've been thrown out by my parents!"

"Oh my poor angel! I told you you'd taken a hard road!"

With that, she pulled me to her chest, cuddling and kissing me. Again I wept bitterly but I found Lucy's consolations very comforting.

"Look at it this way, Emma. I know you're moving in with Lawrence tomorrow. This way your parents have saved you the agony of having to tell them about it. I tell you what, you're staying here this evening and we're going to have a nice girly night in, the two of us. First, though, let's get you properly dressed!"

I smiled for the first time that day.

"That's more like it!"

Lucy took me upstairs to her bedroom, carrying my suitcase.

"Right, let's see what we've got in here!"

All I had for outerwear was a white vest and a denim miniskirt. The rest of my clothes were at Lawrence's house.

"Well, this will do for now. Come on then, girl. Get changed!"

I hesitated, still being a bit shy.

"Ok then, I'll go out of the room for five minutes!"

I removed my tee-shirt, jeans, socks and underpants, looking at them lying on the floor with freshly renewed loathing, being a reminder of the masculinity I wished to forget. The moment I put on my ladies' clothes I felt miles better. Lucy returned.

"Right, sit down."

I sat down at her dressing table, while she got her cosmetic bag. She took twenty minutes or so applying foundation, blusher, lipstick, eye-shadow, eye-liner and mascara. Finally, she sprayed a lovely floral fragrance on my neck. I had completely recovered, able to focus completely on expressing the girl I knew I was inside.

Lucy got two bottles of white wine from her fridge and we spent a delicious evening together, chatting and listening to music. I soon forgot all my troubles in the company of this lovely lady. Lucy promised to treat me the next day for my 'moving in' present and I wondered what it could be. Finally, it was time for bed. Lucy loaned me one of her nightdresses and I lay on her sofa with a blanket around me and quickly found sleep.

Not for long, however. I had a terrible nightmare about being lost in a dark forest. I shouted for my mum and dad but I was utterly alone. I awoke, sweating and crying. Lucy must have heard me, for she quickly came to my side and asked me what was wrong. I could hardly speak for sobbing.  Lucy put her arm around me and hugged me.

"I think you'd better come to my bed tonight."

She led me to her bed and, as we lay down, she cuddled me and pulled my head to her breasts. I soon calmed down, and soon fell asleep, comforted by her fragrant warmth and kindness.

I woke up next morning in a much more reassured frame of mind. After all this was the day I was going to live with the man I loved more than anything else in the world. Lucy was still fast asleep next to me so I was careful not to wake her as I got out of bed and dressed. I put on my male clothes and made as if to leave.

"And where do you think you're going miss?"

Lucy's voice stopped me in my tracks.

"We have so much to do this morning and you're thinking of leaving me! And get those ridiculous clothes off. They really don't suit you!"

"But I didn't want to trouble you any further Lucy."

"You're no trouble at all darling. In fact, you're a little sweetie. You're like the younger sister I never had. Now get your proper clothes on. We're going out."

"Where are we going Lucy?"

"Not telling you. It's a surprise."

I was intrigued, and not a little worried. Lucy was a little blasé about me 'passing' as a lady in public whereas the thought of being discovered gave me the shivers.

We had breakfast, and then I dressed – in my white top and blue denim skirt – and put on my make-up. Lucy looked immaculate as usual. We got in her car and she drove me for about ten minutes until we pulled up at a building I recognised as Lucy's beauty salon.

"OK little sister, I'm going to make you nice and pretty for your man coming back."

Lucy spent the next two hours giving me a complete beauty treatment. She missed no detail, even removing the tiny hairs on my fingers. I felt wonderfully girly when she'd finished. I had never been so pampered before in my life. I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. Staring back at me was a gorgeous blonde with clear, soft skin and sexy pouting lips. What's more my fingernails were immaculate, painted with a cherry red varnish.

"Lucy how can I ever repay you! I look so good!"

"And we're not finished yet sweetie."

"What do you mean Lucy?"

"Well there's no point in having a beauty treatment without a new outfit to go with it, is there?"

We drove to the nearby shopping arcade, newly built and full of ladies clothing shops. Normally I would have been extremely nervous about walking about my home town as a lady, but Lucy had altered my appearance so radically that I felt quite calm about it. Still, I insisted on wearing a pair of sunglasses just to be on the safe side. We got out of the car.

"Right, let's start with some sexy undies." Lucy's tone brooked no argument. What she said normally went.

We walked arm-in-arm to the local branch of La Senza. I had often stared longingly at the window display there, at the mannequins dressed in their frilly underwear. I had never dared to enter though. Everything about it screamed out "women only!" Now I was strolling into it quite casually with my new 'big sister'. My senses were overwhelmed with the dazzling array of panties, bras, slips, camisoles, nightdresses, stockings and suspender belts in every lovely pastel feminine shade under the sun: salmon, lemon, lime, lavender and who knows how many others. I felt as if I was in dreamland. The butterflies were going mad in my stomach, but I felt so excited.

I usually wore quite plain panties and bras but Lucy insisted I go for something more elaborate. I ended up buying the frilliest bra and panty set I could find in my favourite colour: baby pink. I also bought a pair of fully fashioned black stockings with a lacy suspender belt. I had now forgotten about all the heartache I had suffered during the week and left the store with a broad smile on my face.

"That's better little sister. You look so pretty when you smile. Now it's time to get the dress."

We went to Monsoon, another shop whose goods I had coveted but never dared to possess. I fussed and fretted over a multitude of pretty dresses, until I found one that both Lucy and I agreed suited me. It was a simply gorgeous red and black satin pencil dress which hugged my legs as I walked in it. It was expensive, but I couldn't resist it.

Of course, I also needed a new pair of shoes! So I bought a pair of black stilettos with a five-inch heel. A bit too high for comfort but they looked really sexy on me.

We drove back to Lucy's house so I could model my new clothes. I dressed upstairs and came back down to get Lucy's verdict.

"Girl you look wonderful. Lawrence won't be able to resist you when he sees you, and lots of other boys wouldn't either!"

I blushed, as I do very easily, but again felt very comfortable being my feminine self.

Lawrence rang me to say he was back home so we both got back in the car for the short journey. On the way I suddenly had an idea.

"Lucy, why don't you come to my new home tonight? We could have a party together!"

"Er, I don't know sweetie. I'd feel a bit left out to be honest."

"No, you could bring a friend. It's such a shame you haven't got a boy... sorry I mean girlfriend."

"Well... actually I've started dating Cassie."

"That's wonderful, Lucy. You could bring her. She's such a nice girl. Not as nice as you though!"

"Well Ok. As long as it's alright with Lawrence."

Lawrence answered the door and looked shell-shocked when he saw my appearance.

"Well, don't just stand there gawping," said Lucy. "What do you think of your girlfriend now?"

"You just look stunning," replied Lawrence. "I can see I'm going to have a fight on my hands to keep you darling." With that he smiled and kissed me.

Lawrence thought it was a great idea to have a 'housewarming' party and bought some edibles and drinks for the evening ahead.

I felt so happy I didn't even mention the troubling events of the week to Lawrence. I just busied myself with getting everything ready for the party.

Lucy and Cassie arrived at about seven. Lucy looked as radiant as ever; Cassie was plainer but still pretty. The evening was magic. We drank, talked and listened to music until it was approaching midnight. We all got a little carried away. By that time the girls were kissing and cuddling. Likewise, I was sat on Lawrence's lap.

"Look I can see you want to be alone so we'll be off," said Lucy.

"There's no need," replied Lawrence. "You girls could stay in the spare room. It's really no trouble."

After several pointless protests, Lucy and Cassie agreed and went off together to the spare room next door, hand-in-hand. Immediately we began to kiss deeply as Lawrence's hand found its way under my dress. We were interrupted, however, by sighing and moaning from next door. I had forgotten to tell the girls the walls were paper-thin and you could hear everything! It was such a massive turn-on to hear Lucy and Cassie making love! I immediately dropped to my knees, unzipped Lawrence, and took his beautiful cock in my mouth, savouring the taste and feel of it like I had never done before.

I sucked and licked harder as the passionate noises from the next room grew louder. Eventually Lawrence exploded and spurted a copious load of semen in my mouth. I swallowed every delicious drop.

I took off my dress and exposed my new girlie underwear to Lawrence's admiring gaze. I stroked his now soft cock until he had fully recovered his vigour. Now I just wanted him inside me. Lawrence had been tested for STDs during the week and had been given a clean bill of health, so there was no longer any need for Lawrence to use a condom. Lawrence removed my panties and placed a pillow under my belly. I was tingling all over as I always did when I was about to be fucked but this was extra special as I relished the prospect of Lawrence's bare cock sliding inside me.

After applying lubricant, Lawrence entered me from behind. I asked him to fuck me really hard, I was so excited. He began to pump in and out rapidly. My moaning was uncontrollable; I didn't care that I would be heard by the girls. I came twice before Lawrence's semen gushed into me, filling me with indescribable warmth and love. I could hear Lucy climaxing next door, her deeper voice being clearly distinguishable from Cassie's. We collapse together in bed and I quickly fell asleep, cradled in Lawrence's loving arms.

Our first night together as 'husband and wife' had been wonderful, but I now needed to make important decisions regarding my future as a woman.



Julian Falls in Love Ch. 06



Chapter 06

Julian decides to live his life as Emma -- permanently

There were a few awkward smiles at the breakfast table next morning as I sat with Lawrence, Lucy and Cassie. Each couple knew what the other one had been up to the previous night so we kept the topics of conversation pretty banal. My mind was really on more important matters, however. My desire to become a woman was fully cemented that weekend, outweighing any personal cost. My main worry was going back to work, even though I was doing a job I really enjoyed. It was bad enough pretending to be maIe but I also had to suffer the cheap jibes that were being made behind my back. I just couldn't face it and a feeling began to grow in me that I should hand in my notice and pursue another career path.

I confessed my feelings to Lucy when we were alone, doing the washing up together. She remained silent for a while, and then suddenly said: "why don't you come and work for me?"

"What do you mean, Lucy?"

"Well, Karen, my receptionist, is leaving in about six weeks. You could take over from her."

"But Lucy you can't have a male receptionist at a beautician's!"

"Who says anything about being male. You could wear your proper clothes and be the real you. In fact, you'd hardly need to go back to being Julian at all. I couldn't afford to pay you that much, but it would keep you going until you decided what else you wanted to do."

I was taken aback by the proposition and didn't know what to say for a while. Whilst the thought was incredibly attractive not to have to wear male clothes, Lucy was now a dear friend and confidante. I didn't know if I could relate to her in the same way if she were my boss.

"The customers would guess who I was Lucy!"

"No they wouldn't. You look, sound and move like a girl, Emma. I can assure you. Plus, you are intelligent and I'm sure you'd be an asset to my business."

I was always worried about my voice, but I had begun to do voice training by following a series of tapes to make my speech more authentically feminine.

"Let me think about it Lucy."

"Ok, but don't leave it too long sweetie."

We finished the washing-up and kissed the girls goodbye. It had been a lovely evening and we promised to do the same thing again soon. However, it was time to turn to more serious matters. I asked Lawrence to sit down while I told him of my wish to become a woman 'full-time'. I had thought long and hard about it and decided being Julian was intolerable. Unknown to me, Lawrence had been doing some research and had found someone he felt would be a sympathetic doctor, who had a clinic about thirty miles away. He said he would fix me up with an appointment. I sat on Lawrence's knee and kissed him. He had acceded to my wish without a demur, like the considerate man he was.

I also told Lawrence that life was becoming unbearable at work and that I planned to hand in my notice. He said he understood and would support me in anything I wanted to do. "I love you Lawrence," I said. "I couldn't cope without you." He pulled me to his chest and hugged me. With my parents now estranged from me, he was my sole support in the world. We continued kissing and caressing, and eventually Lawrence lifted my nightdress, removed my panties, and made love to me on the sofa. I have never felt so in need of sex as in that week, when I felt so vulnerable. Lawrence rose to the challenge manfully, understanding I desperately needed him very close to me.

Work was as bad as I expected. There were hints everywhere that I was not wanted. There was even a lingerie catalogue left on my desk with a note to say I might be interested in it. I couldn't take any more so I took the plunge, gave week's notice, and decided to accept Lucy's offer. I was nervous about that but even more nervous about the appointment I had with Dr Sharp at the gender reassignment clinic. I was seriously frightened that she would tell me to get back to being male and stop all this silliness about wanting to be a girl.

The morning of the appointment came. I fussed and fretted about what to wear. On the one hand, I wanted to appear feminine; on the other, I didn't wish to give the impression of being slutty. In the end I settled for my blue denim mini skirt with a lilac blouse and black tights, together with some calf-length red boots, it now being quite cold with the onset of winter.

We drove about 45 minutes until we got to the clinic and got out of the car. My heart was in my mouth as we walked into reception and were told to sit down and wait. After a few minutes a middle-aged lady with a friendly demeanour walked out to greet us. "Hello, I'm Barbara Sharp. You are Lawrence and Emma I take it? Nice to meet you. Please step into my office."

We shook hands and sat down. "Now then my dear. I understand you wish to be considered for gender reassignment surgery, Emma?" Her use of my feminine name endeared me to her right away and made me feel a little more at ease.

"That's right, Doctor Sharp."

"Please, no formalities here. It's Barbara. Well I deal with the psychological side of things here. I don't perform the operations. They are dealt with by my colleague, Doctor Fallowes. What I'm going to do today, my dear, is to give you a thorough physical examination and have a long chat with you about what's brought you to this stage. I'd like you to leave us for a couple of hours or so Lawrence, if that's all right?"

"No problem, Barbara. I'll make myself scarce." It was a picturesque little town where the clinic was situated and no doubt he would be able to pass the time quite pleasantly.

Barbara locked the door so we would not be disturbed. Now, I'd like you to undress behind the screen Emma, and lie on the couch." I removed my blouse, shoes, skirt and tights and emerged from behind the screen, rather nervously. "Please take off your bra and panties, dear. Trust me, there's nothing I haven't seen."

Reluctantly, I removed my underwear, false boobs and vagina then lay on the couch, completely naked and feeling extremely vulnerable. Barbara sensed this. "Please relax dear. There's absolutely nothing to worry about."

She examined me, took a blood sample, then told me to dress. We then spoke at length about my upbringing and how my first signs of girlishness came to light. It was the first time in my life I had ever spoken to anyone about this. Barbara was a good listener, and I poured out my heart to her. At one point I became very emotional and started to cry. She very gently put her arm around my shoulder and dried my tears with a tissue. "Don't be afraid to cry, my dear. A lot of patients react the same way when they talk to me about their problems."

I must say the conversation with Doctor Sharp was very cathartic. At the end of it I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. "Well, Emma, I'd like you to come back in a weeks' time if that's OK. I'll consult with Doctor Fallowes and make a recommendation based on what you've told me. In the meantime, please don't worry. I'll do what is best for you."

Barbara had such a reassuring tone that, when I left with Lawrence, I felt better than I had done in a long time. However, I still had an irrational fear that Barbara would refuse my request contemptuously.

That week crawled by. Coincidentally, the day of my appointment with Barbara was also the day following my last day at work. I felt a huge sense of relief as I left for the last time.

The butterflies were fluttering in my stomach as we drove to the clinic. Barbara greeted us in her usual pleasant manner and asked us to sit down. "Well, Emma I have studied your case thoroughly and consulted with Doctor Fallowes. We have concluded you are suffering from severe gender dysphoria and recommend reassignment surgery. In my fifteen years here I have never known a more needy case, you poor angel."

I couldn't help it. I just burst into tears. Lawrence put his arm around my shoulder to comfort me and it was a good five minutes before I regained my composure.

"Are you all right now, my dear? We insist that you live fully as a woman for a year before surgery and also that you take a course of hormones. I could give you your first injection now if Lawrence would excuse us."

After he'd left, Barbara had me bend over her desk while she lowered my tights and panties and injected me in my bottom. She also gave me a supply of hormone creams to rub on my chest, thighs and bottom to give me a more curvy shape. 

"Don't expect these to work overnight. You might not see a noticeable effect for three months, perhaps six. I'd also like you to show you some photos of how our girls look 'down there' after surgery because we take a great pride in our results. But perhaps we'll leave that for a later date. I will also perform electrolysis treatment to remove any unwanted facial hair, with your permission of course. But you have such a nice complexion anyway and such a lack of male hormones, that it shouldn't need to go on for very long. I want you to come back here every two weeks but if there is anything you need to discuss please feel free to ring. I'm always here for you. Oh, and I've arranged for you to have some feminine voice training with a colleague. It's very important for your sense of identity."

I was in a daze, but it was a happy daze. Everything had happened so quickly! I felt strong, I felt confident. An idea suddenly entered my head.

"Lawrence, could you drop me off at the shopping centre. I need to buy an outfit for my new job next week."

He gave me a strange look. "Are you sure darling? By yourself?" He was incredulous but I was insistent. "OK I'll wait in the car park. Ring me on my mobile if you need me."

So for the first time in my life I walked alone into the ladies section of a major department store and perused the modest knee-length skirts. I wanted one for my new job. I found a nice navy-blue pleated skirt that was to my liking and took it to the changing rooms to try on. I wasn't unnerved at all by the females in various stages of undress, although it wasn't too busy with it being a weekday afternoon.

It was a perfect fit so I took it to the check-out and paid for it. The female assistant took my money without demur. I walked to the car park in a state of total exhilaration and quickly located Lawrence's car. I got in. Lawrence's face was beaming as he expressed how much he was proud of me. We kissed deeply. I had never felt so much a woman and was determined to make even greater progress over the coming months.

Our lovemaking was especially intense that night. We both came to orgasm several times before we collapsed exhausted into bed. I gave myself over to Lawrence utterly and you could tell that he found my submissiveness extremely gratifying.

I was now looking forward to my new job, but still with a certain degree of nervousness.



Julian Falls in Love Ch. 07



Lucy arranged for me to see Karen, the departing receptionist, on the Saturday so she could show me the ropes in my new job, which was basically to greet the customers, to maintain a database and to order new stocks of beauty products. First, however, I had a little ritual to perform. I gathered all my male clothes together, gave the decent ones to a local charity shop, and dumped the rest. That was it. I had burnt all my bridges. I experienced a feeling of elation after I'd done it. It seemed that my unhappy male life was fading into the distance and I was starting out on a new, more hopeful road.

It was with some trepidation, however, that I went with Lucy to the beauty parlour to meet Karen. This was serious; I was no longer dressing up because I preferred ladies' clothes but because I felt more like a woman than a man. Karen was a nice girl and she went to great lengths to explain everything. It was a shame she was leaving because I'm sure we could have become good friends, but she was moving to the other end of the country because of her husband's job.

I felt nervous all day on the Sunday so, to distract me, Lawrence took me out for a drive to the country. We had lunch in one of our favourite pubs, actually not far from the clinic where I was having hormone treatment from Barbara, my doctor. I had a couple of vodka and tonics with my sandwich and I began to feel more relaxed. Again we drove off and stopped at an obscure moorland spot. There wasn't a soul around.

We were walking together when, suddenly, there was a tremendous cloudburst and the rain started coming down in torrents. We ran back to the car and dived inside. The rain was hammering against the bodywork.

I had noticed that, since beginning my hormone treatment, my appetite for sex had increased. Sometimes I felt aroused for no apparent reason. This was one of those occasions. The alcohol also helped to loosen my inhibitions. As we sat together I rested my head against Lawrence's shoulder and placed a hand on his thigh.

"Thank you for taking me out, Lawrence. It's really helped. I'm sorry I was so irritable earlier."

"Don't worry. You're sweet even when you're angry!"

"Lawrence, I love you so much! You always say the right thing. I put one arm around his neck and kissed him full on the lips, letting my tongue slip in his mouth. He responded by putting his arms around my waist. We became passionate as I let my hand stray down to his crotch. He was already hard. I stroked him there, feeling ever more turned on.

Without more ado I unzipped his trousers and extricated his penis from his y-fronts. I lowered my head and began to suck him. In a few short months I had become quite an accomplished fellatrix. I had learned to vary the sensation I gave to my boyfriend, for example by licking his scrotum or by teasing him by taking my mouth away for a spell and kissing his thighs. After a few minutes he had a lovely erection, his purplish gland fully visible.

"Make love to me Lawrence!" I whispered.

"What, here? But we'll be arrested!" he protested.

"Don't be silly! No-one can see us in this weather!"

He acceded and we then squeezed into the back seat, where Lawrence reached up under my dress and pulled my tights and panties down to my knees. I was tingling all over and couldn't wait to get him inside me. Lawrence pushed the front seats right forward to give us more room. He then took a tub of Vaseline from the first aid kit he kept in his car and applied a large glob of it inside my little opening. I spread my buttock cheeks apart and eased myself down on his hard member. It felt wonderful. When I was comfortable I began to move up and down, using the back seat for support, whilst he held me around the waist. The rain continued to beat down violently, almost totally obscuring everything outside. It was just so exciting.

I continued to bounce up and down for a few minutes, while he gradually increased the power of his thrusts. Eventually he groaned deeply and I felt his semen flood into me. It was the most gorgeous sensation. We spent a few minutes kissing and cuddling on the back seat. Then I cleaned my bottom and thighs with tissues and rearranged my underwear. It was my first experience of public sex, and I found it terrifically stimulating. Even if anyone had passed they would have been unlikely to see inside the car given the rain was so heavy.

We drove home after the rain had eased off and it was then that the reality hit me: the next day I would actually be going to work as a woman. The butterflies started fluttering madly in my stomach.

I got up two hours earlier than was really necessary. I wanted to ensure my make-up, dress and appearance generally were absolutely immaculate. I put on a white blouse and my new navy blue jacket and skirt, which I had bought especially for my new job. Putting my little bag over my shoulder, I was finally ready. Lawrence drove me the short distance to the beauty parlour. He noticed my silence on the way and knew I was worried. He kissed me on the cheek and assured me everything would be alright. I got out and rang the door of the parlour. Lucy opened, smiled at me and said I looked fantastic. I entered, feeling there was no going back now.

I sat at my desk, switched on my pc, and waited for my first customer. I was as nervous as hell. When the parlour opened at nine o'clock a middle-aged lady walked in, smiled pleasantly at me, and said her name was Mrs Fisher. She had come to have her nails done. I was very fidgety as I tried to look up her details on the computer database.

"You're new here aren't you dear?"

"Yes, it's my first day."

"I can see you're nervous but don't worry dear. You'll soon get used to things. By the way, I love your hair."

"Thank you." I felt my face go all flushed. I blush so easily.

Mrs Fisher's warmth and friendliness put me at my ease. I was so lucky she was my first customer. We continued to chat for a while about clothes and make-up. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Not all the customers were as nice as Mrs Fisher, but I managed to get through the day reasonably well and without having a nervous breakdown. Lawrence called for me at five o' clock and I talked non-stop to him about how my day had gone. I was so excited to be finally living as a real woman twenty-four hours a day.

The first week passed without serious incident. Although there were a few awkward customers, and although by nature I'm a very shy girl, I got through it. Lawrence was very pleased with me and bought me some lovely flowers.

Much to my surprise, I got used to my new job very quickly and even began to have ideas of my own how things could be improved. I cleaned up the database of customers and suppliers, which was a bit of a mess. I also continued developing as a woman in small but significant ways. For example, when I went out socially I would often catch myself giggling at silly jokes. I also became more outgoing in my femininity. One day I was out shopping with Lucy's girlfriend Cassie, whom I had become quite friendly with and who was now aware I was a transsexual. We went to the local shopping centre. I was leaning over the rail on the upper floor when I noticed some young boys, around thirteen or fourteen years of age, snatching furtive glances at me from below and laughing.

"What's up with them?" I asked Cassie.

"You're giving them a free show, darling. They can see right up your skirt."

A few short months before I would have been mortified at this revelation, but now I actually found it quite funny. Instead of moving away from the rail I stayed there and continued to give the boys the view they wanted.

"It's just as well I'm wearing tights then, isn't it?"

"You're shameless!" laughed Cassie.

I had begun to appreciate the power women could have. Men are so easily reeled in by women who know how to flaunt themselves. Those boys probably went home and masturbated thinking of me. It was actually a bit of a turn-on!

It took a while for the hormone treatment to really take effect. I kept looking in the bathroom mirror but couldn't see any signs of budding breasts. However, my skin was noticeably softer and my facial hair didn't grow as quickly. My bottom and thighs also filled out a little. After about three months, I checked again and noticed a slight swelling around my nipples. I was overjoyed! This swelling developed over the next few weeks until I could wear an 'A' cup bra. I just wanted small breasts, to go with my slight frame, so I was quite content. I dispensed with my false breasts for good.

Shortly after, my mum paid us a visit, having mustered the courage to go against my father's wishes. The reunion was very emotional and I felt so happy. She said although she'd lost a son she'd gained a lovely daughter, which was so sweet. She also gave me a present of some nice lingerie, which for me symbolised that she'd given up hope of me going back to my old self. Moreover, I was pleased that she seemed to get on well with my boyfriend.

The year I had to spend living completely as a woman seemed to pass very quickly and I felt I was progressing very rapidly. Unfortunately, I also became quite fussy and house-proud, which may have had something to do with the hormone treatment. I would make little criticisms of Lawrence if things in the house were not in their precise place or not as tidy as they should be. He took it all on the chest for a while, and then one day he snapped.

It was something silly like his toothbrush hadn't been replaced in its holder in the bathroom. He retorted by pointing out that the house wasn't mine to be complaining about. "How dare you!" I replied. I felt so angry I packed a small suitcase with a few clothes and stormed out of the house.

There was only one place I could go – Lucy's. I went there in a foul temper. I explained to Lucy and Cassie what had happened. They were sympathetic but I could tell from their manner that I wasn't entirely guiltless.

Lucy said that it wouldn't be very long before Lawrence called me and not to worry. However, a week passed and nothing happened. Then two more weeks passed with no call. I was beginning to lose hope. Worse, I was getting increasingly tetchy and things were becoming strained with Lucy and Cassie. It was also only a few weeks before my gender reassignment surgery. Then, one Friday night, Lucy's doorbell rang. I answered it. Who should be there but Lawrence! I was so shocked I couldn't speak. I just stood there.

"May I come in?"

"Of course."

We walked into the living-room. Tactfully, Lucy said she and Cassie had to go out for something and so we were left alone.

"I don't know how to say this, Emma," he began, "but I've behaved like a fool. I miss you so much. If you can forgive me, please come back. I promise I'll make it up to you. I've also brought you this."

He handed me a little box inside of which was a beautiful engagement ring. For a time I was lost for words, then the tears sprang from my eyes. I couldn't help myself. I felt all my old stubbornness leave me.

"Of course I'll come back darling. It's me who should be asking for forgiveness. I've acted like a spoilt brat."

I flung my arms around his neck and our mouths met in a deep kiss.

"Take me home, Lawrence."

He smiled and took me by the hand. During the short journey home, I vowed to myself never to behave in such a petulant manner again. I'd almost lost the man of my dreams.

No sooner had we got inside that we began kissing again. His hands were all over me, caressing and teasing. Eventually he unbuttoned my blouse and rubbed my little breasts through my bra. He reached behind my back, undid the clasp, and began to lick and suck on my nipples, which were very sensitive as a result of the hormone treatment. He then put a hand under my skirt and stroked the bare flesh above my stocking tops. Shortly after, I felt my panties being pulled down. He pushed me gently back so I was seated on the sofa, after which he hitched up my skirt around my waist, put his head between my legs, and began to suck me.

I had never felt so turned on and knew I would not last long. I felt myself coming after only two or three minutes and tried to pull Lawrence off me. However, he was insistent. I erupted inside his mouth, moaning uncontrollably.

After recovering, we went upstairs. I undressed completely, lubricated myself, and lay face down on the bed with my legs spread. Lawrence was on top of me and inside me in a trice, moving in and out of me with slow, regular strokes. He was also evidently very excited as not five minutes had passed before he pushed hard inside me, groaned deeply, and inundated my insides with his love juice.

We lay, kissing and cuddling, before he grew hard again. We made love twice more that night, making up for lost time, and spent most of the next day in bed together. I felt deliciously happy, but then remembered my surgery coming up and grew a little pensive.

I had been warned it wasn't going to be easy.