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Four F Girl

By: SplendidSpunk



 (This will be at some point in time a BDSM story, though I am not sure when it will get there as I am still organizing the input from the star or co-star of this Tale. I know where she wants me to start and where she will end up but I am not sure if a straight line telling is going to happen. In any event you have been warned. This is meant to be told from her point of view as an attempt to put to paper the truth of her experiences, what she has learned and how she has progressed/grown) 

*

I am writing this in order to display my own capability to come to terms with the truth about who I was and who I want to be. It has been explained to me that only by sharing my life as completely as possible will I be able to move on and allow who I want to be to emerge. I will not omit anything that I've done unless I am not permitted to put such actions in the public eye. I will let you know as much as I can about any such event(s) but the specific details are not for this site. 

My name is Alexandra Marie St. John, and yes that's my real name. If I can't reveal who I am and use a false name then the purpose of this is gone. Where I live and the names of others in this transcript will be made up to protect them, it is my truth that I intend to reveal.

From the title I know that most of you probably know what I was. There was/is someone wearing that moniker in every town and every school in the country if not the world. Most of the "Four F's" have short lifetimes with that title mine lasted close to ten years. For the uninitiated the term refers to a woman that boys or men will pick up to "Find, Feel, Fuck and Forget". Although the term Four F girl is derogatory it's actually better then the reality, we are unpaid whores, our experiences little different then the woman who walk the streets. Our currency was usually alcohol or drugs rather then cash, sometimes maybe it was dinner. When you hold that title as long as I did you end up buying your own drinks and drugs. I never did drugs some little consolation and I never got pregnant a big consolation. I was however on the road to alcoholism and some sort of STD as I continued to look for love on the end of a cock, while too drunk to appreciate it.

There are turning points in our lives and if we are lucky we recognize them for their significance and learn from them. I am sure I drunkenly missed a number of opportunities over the ten year span I held the position of "Four F Girl". The incident that I mentioned earlier, the one I can't fully describe here? I had gone off with a man from a bar and back to his house. Lets' just say that at some point I realized he was making me do something that made me sick to my stomach. As soon as I could I got out of there quick. However as far as a wake up call this event was kind of like when you were a teen and you woke up and saw it wasn't yet noon on a Saturday so you rolled over and went back to sleep? That was this event, kind of woke me up morally but I was able to roll over and go back to sleep morally.

When the actual "turning point" occurred I am not real clear on because when it first happened I was so drunk I passed out and have no memory of those hours in which the event occurred. I know that seems confusing to you but if you have some patience it will become clear.

As I said I recall being in a bar, going outside with a guy and letting him (like I had control) take me into the alley, push me over drop my panties and fuck me from behind. When he finished he pulled out and left me there. That's where the "Forgotten" part comes into the title. I guess I was a lot more inebriated then I thought because when I finally staggered back into the bar, it was a different bar. At this point my mind goes blank so I will tell you what I have been told happened next.

I came into the bar and walked right up to what I discovered later was a familiar face. I said Hi to him and then proceeded to puke all over him and pass out on top of him, pinning my puke between us. As I said I seemed to find him familiar and later I would learn that he was actually someone in my high school graduating class, one of the few guys who never wanted to be seen with the kind of girl I was, even in high school.

When my memory came back I was in a nice clean room, laying naked in a single bed and had no clue where I was or why. I had one hell of a hangover and most likely was still somewhat drunk, but I stumbled naked to the door only to find it locked. Had I been sober I might have panicked but I saw that there was a bathroom attached to this room and my need to use that made focusing on a locked door not very important.

I used the toilet and decided as I stared at the shower that a good hot shower sounded appropriate. It was and after stepping out and using the available towels I walked back to the bedroom and looked for clothing. There was nothing in the room to wear, so I decided to get back into bed and cover up with the sheet and blanket. I tried to recall what happened to me, tried to figure out where I was and especially tried not to think about the fact that I was locked in a room without clothes.

I dozed on and off I really didn't know what time it was. At some point I noticed a dresser with a bottle of Tylenol on it. I got back up and stood motionless until my head stopped throbbing and the room steadied, then grabbed some Tylenol and made for the bathroom for some water. I ambled back to the bed and fell back in, covering some parts of me, not bothering with all of me. I was real hung over and didn't want to move any more then I had to.

At some point in time the atmosphere in the room changed and I rolled over to see a man sitting in a chair, his arms holding a tray of food, and a pile of clothing at his feet. Startled at the site of him and feeling a bit better having eaten some Tylenol I sat up in bed exposing my upper body and tried to make friends.

"Who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you have me locked in this fucking room?"

See what a nice sweet young lady I was. 

"Please cover yourself Alexandra."

His voice was soft and being the total asshole I was I said.

"What the matter with you, you gay? Don't you like looking at a girl's tits?"

See I was just the kind of girl you wanted to take home to meet the parents, right? I was still in need of that wake up call I spoke of earlier.

"I do like viewing a woman's tits, as you seem to like to call yours. However, I am not very interested in seeing tits that are generally available for a Miller Lite. Now would you please cover up."

He was being so sweet to me I found his charm inviting.

"Who the fuck are you anyway and why are you saying that shit about me?"

"I'm the guy you decided to puke over last night and then black out on top of me. As for the supposed "shit" about you, it's common knowledge here and back home where we went to high school together. Unless I picked up some bad gossip, I'd say you've been giving your body to any living male for about ten years now. I hear you try to get a few drinks for the ride but you're willing to negotiate."

"You one of those geek types in High School, that why you and I never you know got it on?"

"Actually no, you made several attempts, I just wasn't interested in any woman who cared so little for herself."

"I do care about me. I just enjoyed the attention of the boys in school, that's all. Shit when you guys get it on its Oh wow Big Man and shit, when a girl does the same, you call her a whore and a tramp. Right Mr. I'm too good for Ali?"

"Alexandra, let me explain a few things. First of all the door was locked to keep you from hurting yourself. When I carried you in last night I decided to lock the door until you were sober enough to leave."

He paused long enough to put the food tray on the edge of the bed and I idly began to eat.

"You're naked because as I said earlier, you puked all over me and yourself and your clothes were not going to soil a set of clean sheets. I left you some Tylenol and some towels should you decide to shower, which I see you did. I brought you some clothes I think will fit you as your skirt, blouse and bra are still being cleaned. I assume the lack of panties was your choice, given what you seemed to love doing."

I swallowed the toast I'd been eating and said.

"So I guess you "had to strip" me last night, I hope you enjoyed the show!"

Before I could say anymore he burst out laughing.

"What's so fucking funny ass wipe?"

"Just that you still think you're desirable. Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

I guess I'd sobered a bit because that last comment hit hard and I looked down at the sheets, unwilling to allow him to see the hurt.

"I remember thinking when I first saw you in High School how pretty you were. I think I still admire that girl, but the girl in front of me now, No!"

I slowly stood up and walked naked past him and into the bathroom. I closed the door and looked into the mirror. I saw a haggard face and fleshy body. My muscles sagged pulling my skin in my arms and my gut was protruding over my pubic area so I actually had to bend forward to see it. To the sides I had love handles to put it mildly. Forget the hair, still damp from the shower but I could see how lifeless it was. I again looked up and stared at my face and then I saw the tears inching down over my cheeks. I turned on the water and splashed my face before drying it with a towel.

Slowly I opened the door and for the first time in memory I felt ashamed to walk back to the bed, naked! He must have seen the change in my attitude because he changed the subject.

"You really don't remember me? I mean my name, it seems you recalled the face and choose me last night."

"No, I'm really sorry. I see something familiar about you but no. No I do not know your name. I think I'd like to! Will you remind me?"

"I'm Bill. Actually I am William Archer and we were in the same graduating class in High School. I think we may have even shared a class or two."

"Sorry, William. I remember you a little now. I guess we didn't move in the same circles back then."

"No, as I said I was left to admire you from afar. When the rumors started about how "easy" Alexandra was, I didn't want to believe them. I mean some girls get a reputation that is undeserved, usually started by some guy who got turned down. By the time we were seniors the evidence was substantial, you became obvious, if you know what I mean."

"Wow. It's pretty hard to see my life through someone else's eyes. I have really let myself go, I did look in that mirror, William. I am sorry about last night and the way I acted this morning. I guess I am just not a very good person."

I was crying as I said those words. This was a wake up call and there didn't seem to be a way to roll over and go back to sleep this time. I sat there mentally reviewing my life, all the different men I'd managed to fuck and then the memory of that night that made me want to vomit came back and I ran to the bathroom and puked.

I was breathing hard and puking over and over when I felt warmth on the back of my neck. William was holding a warm washcloth to my neck. When my stomach stopped forcing its contents back up my throat I sagged down and rested my head on the porcelain bowl and my tears flowed. 

"Alexandra just rest here and let me get you a drink."

"William, no. No more drinks."

"I was getting you some orange juice Alexandra."

He handed me the glass and I sipped at it. Eventually the tears stopped and I realized that I was sitting naked, my head on the toilet bowl and for the first time in a long while I felt embarrassed.

"William, can you give me a few minutes and maybe toss those clothes in here and close the door."

He walked out and brought the clothes back in and set them on the floor next to me then left closing the door behind him. Alone now and a few tears dropping from time to time I showered again, using the shampoo and conditioner available. I scrubbed myself raw thinking I've never get clean. I dried myself and slipped on the sweatpants and t-shirt William had given me. The pants were a bit large but the drawstring held them up and the T-shirt was baggy but that was OK, I really didn't feel like I had a body to show off. I found a brush and hair dryer and made myself presentable, wishing for some make up to hide the woman I saw staring back at me. One last look and then I opened the door and found the room empty and the door opened.

A part of me felt lonely because William was gone another part of me was happy that I'd now be able to leave and not have to face the disappointment in Williams eyes when he looked at me. The look he had for me all morning. Leaving the room I walked down a hall and into the living room, where I found William sitting. He had a nice house, the furniture looked expensive and everything was so clean and neat. I headed for the front door as Williams said.

"Alexandra, sit for a minute. I have a few things to say and then I can take you wherever you wan to go."

I nodded and sat gently on the edge of the couch.

"First of all I don't want you leaving here depressed by my words from earlier or from what more I might tell you now. I want you to know that you still have the ability to change."

"William. Oh depressed? Yes, I am. Embarrassed, that too. Shame is another word I am learning to understand too. Regret? Yeah it's working it way into my vocabulary. Change? No, I've not gotten to that word yet."

"Well Alexandra let's get the worst of it out of the way then let's see where you stand and what you want."

"There's worse?"

"I'm afraid so. It seems the guy you evidently hooked up with to some degree before you past out on top of me, was your boss. If you look at your cell there is a text. Sorry, but your bag was covered in puke too, and I wanted to clean it and.."

"It's OK William, you've got nothing to apologize for."

I looked at the text and it was from my now ex-boss who indicated my behavior last night, evidently it was either with him or in his view, was such that he fired me. I swallowed that bit if bad news. In the whole scheme of things it wasn't that terrible. I was more concerned with who I had become to care that much about a job.

"You OK Alexandra?"

"Well about the job? Yeah, it wasn't much of a career type of job and it isn't as catastrophic as other issues in me life right now."

"Ok, I want you to know I am sorry for you. No, it's not pity. I just know a lot has been dumped on you already today, mostly from me."

"William, please! I should just go. I've already used up more then I deserve of anyone's help."

"Alexandra you can change. You can be more then you seem to think you're limited to."

"I appreciate your kindness William. I'm just on the edge of realizing what I am. I'm certainly not attractive in body or mind right now, and I feel it and it hurts. Someday, maybe I can be a woman you'd want, but right now I'm not even a person I 'd want."

I hung my head, as the tears once again seemed to fall freely from my eyes. I wanted to leave but couldn't move. Tearfully I looked up and said.

"Tell me William, what is it you look for in a woman?"

"I'm not sure you'd understand me if I told you."

"Please? Try me. I am looking for some sort of footing here William."

Ok! First of all I don't expect you to understand this but I look for a woman who cares more for me then she cares for herself. No, not that she doesn't care for herself, just that she puts her needs second and mine first."

"Sounds nice the way you say it. I guess you could say I am the opposite of that. I seem to have spent my time looking for only what I wanted. Yet, I am beginning to see that I thought I wanted a man to want me, but in reality, I guess I really didn't want that either. I was just looking for a thrill, I..."

"Alexandra! You are not just what you were but you are also what you want to be."

"Not sure what that means. Tell me more about your ideal woman."

"Well, have you heard of the terms Dominant and submissive?"

"Yeah, some sort of pornography, sex stuff right."

"In some cases it is a way for some to enjoy sex, in its more complex form it so much more then just sex. It's a means to express true love. In the Dominant, love is expressed by how he cares for and treats his or her submissive. In the submissive it's in how he or she uses her love to trust his or her partner. Sex is often the result of that trust but sex is not the reason for the relationship."

"So you're looking for a girl who will be submissive to your desires? Kind of kinky isn't it?"

"Actually I am looking for a woman who will be submissive to her desires and to allow me to help her express those desires and to fulfill them."

"Sounds like a play on words to me. You can say that I've been submissive to the men I let fuck me, right?"

"In a broad sense weren't you more the dominant? Weren't you using those men to seek your own needs? I mean you never developed a relationship or saw most of them again. You used alcohol to subdue them and then used their cocks, then let them leave."

"So in your world how is it so different?"

"First of all in my world we are sober. We make decisions based on mutual desire and then implement them as agreed. Lastly, and this is important, we make these choices freely and with the intent to stay together. In your world there is no commitment beyond the sexual intercourse."

"So, let me ask you William. Would you want me as your submissive?"

"To be honest with you, the way you are now? No. If you, when you are sober, want to submit to me, to obey me, to devote your life to making me happy, then yes. However, this is only if you are ready to make a commitment."

"Ok I understand how unappealing I am. Not good enough to be your submissive little slut."

"You've taken the wrong impression. I have always thought you were beautiful and that you were capable of so much more then you are. Perhaps I have had more faith in you then you have in yourself. I think if you go home, stay sober for a few days and think about the concept with a clear mind and then you come to me I would be willing to discuss it with you. If we were both on the same page then yes I would want to have you as my submissive, not a slut or whore but a partner who chose to want to put me first."

"William, you're right about time. I am actually flattered that you can look at this mess on your couch and see something that I can't. If you will take me to my car, I promise you that I will stay sober and I will think. I will think about your dominant/submissive concept and I will think about finding a way to "grow up" and make changes in my life. If you will give me your number, I'd like to know I can call you when I'm sober."

William gave me his number and saw me back to my car, then followed me home and waited till I was safely in my apartment. I sat on my couch and began to take stock of my life. A few minutes later I went to the kitchen and emptied the refrigerator of what alcohol remained, some wine and a few beers. Then I got rid of a half bottle of Tequila. A good first step.

Four F Girl Ch. 02



(I received a significant amount of assistance from LittleOne14385 in this Chapter. Her brilliant addition to this piece should direct readers to her Literotica page where she has posted a number of wonderful stories. I thank her for this and perhaps future assistance.) 

*

After cleaning out the remaining alcohol from my apartment I cleaned the place top to bottom. I suppose this was a means of beginning the process of cleaning up my life at least symbolically. Over the next few days I thought a lot about my conversation with William and the concept of what I now know is referred to as BDSM. I spent hours reading up on the subject, everything I could find on the subject. I first read papers written by professionals who confirmed most of what William had said. There seemed to be varying degrees or types of situations ranging from simple acts of acquiescence, to extreme sexual torture. In some cases the submission was complete and would include serving not only the Dominant but also who ever the Dominant choose to give the submissive to. In all cases the submissive was subject to some form of discipline and that ranged from simple spankings and orgasm denial to full on whipping with a lash and painful restraint often involving the submissive's sexual organs. 

Then I began to read amateur fictional accounts on various web sites, including this one. I started to find some of the fiction (maybe it was real) titillating and would often find one of my hands touching either one of my nipples or sliding under my panties and stroking my wet pussy. When I remembered I would note the particular story that had excited me and kept a list. 

During this time I only left my apartment to eat or purchase food. I stayed away from bars and refrained from even having a glass of wine. I too easily now recalled what I had allowed myself to become when drinking. I was still at the point of believing that the drinking was the root cause of my promiscuity. Months later I would come to the realization that the drinking was only a means to deaden myself to what I was doing, not the reason I was doing it. I'll speak more about that later.

Then I tried my best to compile a list of my sexual interactions. I know that I never came close to recalling all the slutty things I'd done but the list I did recall was enough. Looking it over I once again felt depressed and saddened that I had spent ten years of my life so frivolously using my body as a sexual tool for others. 

I knew I would be calling William to talk, and I wanted to be able to come clean to him. I guess I knew deep inside that he needed to know all of what I was, again I learned later that this confession was something I needed more. Also I wanted to be comfortable in a submissive situation. I knew from my research what I would tolerate or even enjoy and what I would not tolerate. I wanted to be able to negotiate the terms with William. 

When I felt prepared I called.

"William this is Ali, I wanted to come and talk to you."

"Alexandra, this is a pleasant surprise. Yes, we can talk. Why don't we meet somewhere for coffee?"

I had my "talk" designed for the comfort and privacy of his home or my apartment and was a little uncomfortable considering this discussion in a public place.

"Um William? I was hoping this talk would be in private."

"Alexandra the first step in this process is to be able to admit what you are and to not be ashamed about it. If you are considering becoming submissive, to me or anyone else, you need to be proud of that. So coffee?"

This was a twist and I felt uncomfortable but what William said made sense. I had read those same words during my research.

"Ok! I'm still a little unused to this whole concept. I will try."

A little while later we were in a local coffee house. I felt better once I was there and saw that there were few who stayed to drink in the facility, most picked up their coffee to go. William ordered for both of us and led me to a table in the rear. He handed me my cup.

"So what do you wish to talk about Alexandra?"

"Well first of all, most people call me Ali."

"I know that Alexandra but I prefer your full name for now. I would be pleased if you would not refer to yourself as Ali when you are with me. So what do you want to talk about?"

Ok that was a little out of the blue. The only time anyone called me Alexandra was in formal situations, like a classroom or a job interview and I always asked to be called Ali. 

"I, um, I wanted to talk about the subject we talked about that morning."

"Alexandra we spoke of a lot of things that morning, a lot of which I don't want to have to ever talk about again."

I was so messing this up. All my carefully laid plans were out the window. I was nervous in public and feared being humiliated if anyone overhead the subject. I was also afraid of how I would react if William rejected me.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you about domination and submission."

"Ok, Alexandra, what about it?"

"First I want you to know that I have not had anything to drink, not gone to a bar or seen anyone since I left you a week or so ago. I am sober and I believe thinking rationally."

"That's good to hear Alexandra."

"I've also read a lot about the subject of domination and submission and I have..."

"Alexandra I've read all that too. All you need to know is that there must be trust."

"I know that William but there are some things I read...."

"Alexandra, remember what I said. The people, who live this lifestyle, come to it through trust. What you've read are the results of that trust. Through that trust, a dominant learns what the submissive needs and the submissive learns what to do to please the dominant. It's different for everyone. 

"So if I want to do this...if you want me...then going into this..."

"Yes there are no pre-conceived or pre-set lists of thing to do or be done."

"So how, I mean how do I know if this is for me?"

"If you trust me that's a start. In the beginning you would need to be trained and disciplined in some way. I can't say how because what some consider discipline the submissive might not, they might find it rewarding."

"So this all begins with trust. Do you trust me William?"

"I trust that you are capable of being the submissive. I trust you about the changes in your life. Yes, I trust this Alexandra, but I do not trust Ali."

This was so not going how I thought it might. I had my list of do's and don'ts of what I wanted and didn't. William was asking me to trust him. I was so afraid because none of this conformed to anything I read. Yet, I knew that I had easily slipped into the role of the Four F Girl and did a lot of things I was ashamed of. William had taken home a girl he knew form his past who puked on him, and had done everything to see her to a safe place. He cleaned her up, cleaned her clothes and never mentioned being angry about how I soiled his clothes that night. Why was I so unsure? I had freely given myself to strangers why did I doubt, William?

"This is so different from what I imagined William."

"Alexandra this whole lifestyle is different. I understand if you are not ready to trust me."

"No, I don't think it's that. I have made so many mistakes in my life I think it's me I don't trust."

"All the more reason to put your life in someone else's hands. If you trust that someone then you have to trust that he would learn your needs and allow you to have them fulfilled."

"So I would...what? Come to your house and...what?"

"There are choices, you can remain in your apartment and respond at my call, or you can move in and be responsive to me all the time."

"Wow, this so much to consider. Do you want me as your submissive William?"

"I would like to try and see if you can adapt to such a role with me, yes."

"Ok, if I'm doing this then I think I need to do it all out. I would want the situation where I live in your house. If I am to give up my needs and seek to serve you then I need to start it in a way that I am completely in the life. I think for me that is the only way this would work. When do we start? If this is OK?"

He stood up and made to leave.

"Prepare whatever you want to move with you. I will call you in a few days. Remember when I call you, you must obey."

Then he walked out and as I prepared to stand I realized just how wet I was between my legs. Although no one could see any visual evidence of how my panties were dripping with my sexual release, I was still somewhat embarrassed as I walked out and drove home.

As I prepared to move in with William I decided I needed to let go of as much of my old life as possible. I packed only those clothes I needed and donated the clothes I typically wore to bars. I donated my furniture and TV and in the end managed to get everything I wanted in two suitcases and one box. Then I waited to hear from William and each hour that passed without hearing from him was more tortuous then the last. When he finally called he said.

"Alexandra, be at 22 Parkway Drive, Suite 204 at 10 AM tomorrow."

He hung up before I could respond and I quickly wrote down the instructions. The next morning I piled my suitcases and the box in the trunk and set my GPS. I was at the destination by 9:45 and shocked to see it was an OBY/GYN office. I waited for William to come but as the minutes passed I elected to go in without him. He never said he be here, I assumed he would but? As I walked in the office the receptionist asked for my name and I gave it. Surprisingly she handed me a sheaf of papers to fill out and told me my Doctor would see me shortly. The papers were all about medical history, insurance carrier etc. I completed them and left them with the receptionist and waited. At 10:30 William walked in and a Nurse opened a door and called my name. Without words William took my hand and together we went back to an exam room.

The nurse took my vitals and handed me a gown instructing me to take off my clothes and put the gown on. Although I had been naked with William already, stripping here in the Doctor's office was hard and embarrassing. William notice how hesitant I was and said.

"Alexandra, you body will be mine as my submissive. You need to be proud that I would consider seeing it."

I reddened at his declaration but quickly removed my clothes and slipped on the gown. As I waited with him for the doctor I asked.

"William why am I here?"

"First of all as my submissive you should only respond to my questions. Secondly, given your past I want us both to know that you are disease free and fully functional."

"Fully functional? I understand the disease part, given who I was but functional?"

"Alexandra, I need to know that you can breed."

Breed? Not get pregnant, not have his baby. Breed? I remained silent but fumed inside with his use of that term. Then the Doctor came in and I thanked god it was a woman.

"Ah Mr. Archer and Miss St. John. I'm Doctor Andrews. Tell me what brings you in this morning?"

Before I could say anything William said.

"Miss St. John has had a very interesting life for the past ten years or so. She has asked to become my partner and well, I think we need to make sure that she is without any STDs and that her vagina and womb are healthy."

"I see. Well I'll have a blood test for the STD issue and will need to do an internal exam for the rest. Most women prefer that their partners are not in the room when this happens."

"I understand but if you ask Alexandra she will tell you that she insists I be present for the exam."

"Is that what you want Miss St. John?"

"Yes it is Doctor. I've had too many different partners in my life and I need William, Mr. Archer to feel confident."

"Very well. If you have not had one before this may be a bit uncomfortable for you. We will need to get up inside your vagina and there is some discomfort in the procedure."

I nodded and said nothing else. I don't know if I was quickly adapting to my role as a submissive and obeying Williams command to only respond to questions or if I was so totally embarrassed to be laying there legs spread as a Doctor prepared to put whatever up my vaginal canal.

As I lie back on the table waiting, my nerves continued to build steadily as Dr. Andrews assembled a series of intimidating implements on a small metal table. It had been more than a decade since I'd even been to a doctor much less a Gynecologist's office so I had no frame of reference here. I decided that I would embrace this as a means to end and hopefully that end would be a possible beginning with William as my Dominant. The doctor caught me by surprise when she seemed to have a thought and then politely excused herself from the room and stepped out. I looked to William but he only mirrored my confused expression and arched an eyebrow at me.

Dr. Andrews returned a few moments later which a young man in tow. He wore a white lab coat over his scrubs and carried a clipboard with him. His eyes were a clear green shade behind wire-rimmed glasses and the shock of his dark curly hair was a stark contrast against his skin, which was a fair shade aside from the pink blush of his cheek that only seemed to redden further when he saw me on the table. She smiled and introduced us all. 

"Mr. Archer, Miss St. John, allow me to introduce Nathan. He is one of our medical students. He serves in my office here as he works toward his residency. It was my hope that you wouldn't mind if he participated in the exam as I feel this case would be a good learning experience for him."

He first took William's extended hand then stumbled around my elevated feet to shake mine awkwardly

I felt sick to my stomach as I registered her request. It was nerve wracking enough to even be here with William and female doctor not knowing exactly how those instruments were to be used. Then to have this man-child in the room with us watching was putting me very close to being humiliated. Every part of me wanted to object and ask her to dismiss him but as I opened my mouth to speak, I heard William's voice speak for me. 

"I think that would be fine Dr. Andrews, we are all for opportunities to learn, aren't we Alexandria?"

I clamped my mouth shut and quietly nodded, at least taking comfort in the fact that he would stay in the room with me. With our approval obtained she clapped her hands together and smiled.

"Okay great, let's begin." 

She took her seat on a rolling stool and faced Nathan, "Now Nathan, if you would take a look at her chart and tell the first things that you observe." 

Nathan took my chart from her and looked it over studiously before answering in a matter of fact tone. "Middle twenties female, numerous sexual partners reported as well as no regular healthcare, gynecological or otherwise. My initial assessment is that the following would be necessary at this time: pelvic exam, Well Woman exam, Pap smear and vaginal ultrasound to ensure the health of the cervix, uterus and ovaries." 

"Good!"

Doctor Andrews prompted making her way to her place between my feet.

"Now Alexandria, please scoot your bottom to the edge of the table for me then relax your knees and just let them fall open. That's right, exactly like that...what else Nathan?"

"Oh!"

He piped up seeming to remember.

"And blood well as cultures to confirm the absence of any sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV." 

At the mention of the possibilities that I could be carrying some kind of sexually transmitted disease, at the very worst the AIDS virus, made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew that this would a deal breaker for William. Not to mention the fact the Nathan seemed so cavalier in his statement, his castigating tone telling me that he wouldn't be surprised if there were something to find.

She was pleased with his assessments and placed a gloved hand over my abdomen then pressed two fingers inside of me, reaching further until I could feel her fingers on the inside pushing against her palm on the outside. She tilted her head to the side as if listening for something that no one could hear as she felt her way around inside me. The sensation wasn't entirely unpleasant so I tried to go numb but the task was nearly impossible sober. I just laid still and stared at the ceiling, which seemed to contain odd little drawings taped over the lights. I started to ask what their purpose was for until my current predicament dawned on me and I stifled a giggle. William eyed me curious, and I quickly regained composure and mouthed. "It's nothing." His gaze narrowed slightly but then he dismissed it when he looked up and noticed the drawings as well. 

Once Dr. Andrews was satisfied that all the necessary parts were present she extracted her hand and reached for a heavy metal device that resembled an elongated duck's bill and quickly inserted it into my vagina in the place of her hand, I flinched as she expanded the devices arms in turn forcing my cervix open. The pressure alone was enough to make me gasp, let alone how open my pussy was to the three others in the room.

"Now Miss St. John, I'm going to use a small set of scissors to take a tissue sample as well as some scrapings from your uterine wall for testing. This process normally doesn't hurt much but you may feel some pinching."

Without any response from me she continued her work. I was relieved when she extracted the metal device only to gasp as she pulled a portable ultrasound machine up next to the table and lifted a large wand from the stand. It was long and of medium girth with a metal censor on the end. I seemed to remember seeing ultrasounds in movies, grateful to be familiar with something and I began to lift my gown and expose my stomach. 

She stopped me with another semi polite smile.

"No Miss St. John, this ultrasound will be internal." 

Even with all of my experience something that long fitting all of the way inside of me stirred up fresh butterflies in my stomach. Dr. Andrews squirted some clear gel onto the tip of the wand then pulled what looked like a large condom from the stand and stretched it over the head then down the shaft of the device. 

"In fact, Nathan why don't you come perform the ultrasound, this is some good hands on practice for you. You don't mind do you Miss St. John?"

"No we don't mind at all."

William spoke again from his almost silent place in the corner and I sat up staring at him wide-eyed. He only gave me a reassuring nod and I lay back once more. Nathan stepped forward wide eyed and took the wand from Dr. Anderson. After she rose and stepped back he took a seat on her stool and moved toward me. Without warning he was pushing it inside me without any measure of patience or finesse and it hurt, a lot. I gasped and gave a small cry. Nathan didn't seem to notice but continued with the exam, moving the wand to first one side then the other in staccato movements. As he located my ovaries on each side he pushed a little too firmly and I almost felt as if he were trying to pierce my side with it. When he had taken at least a dozen measurements using the various buttons on the ultrasound machine he swiftly removed the wand and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Nathan, in the future try to remember you are examining a woman's vaginal opening not trying to punch a hole in a wall. Be gentle, be caring." 

Nathan reddened at the admonition from Doctor Andrews then preventing me from sitting up Nathan moved alongside the table, reached for my left arm, and moved it above my head. As he reached for my left breast I lay poised and ready to punch him if the need should arise. William saw this as well and asked.

"What are you doing now, Nathan?"

"Um, that would be a breast exam Mr. Archer. It's a portion of the Well Woman exam." 

And with that I relaxed and allowed him to work his cool palm over first one breast then the other, squeezing gently and probing with his fingers around my nipple. Once this was complete he took my hand again and helped me to sit up. He took a couple of long wooden dowels with cotton on the tips from a glass container on the counter and stepped forward. 




Four F Girl Ch. 02



"I need to take a couple of cultures from the inside of your cheek, if you would open your mouth wide for me, Miss St. John." 

I opened my mouth wide and he slipped the first dowel into my mouth, swiping it against the back of my throat. It didn't bother me much but I could almost see the effect it had on Nathan. His eyes were glazed and his breathing was short as he was gauging my gag reflex with the oversized Q-Tip and found that I had none. I had learned long again ago that gagging only turned most men on ultimately dragging out the experience further so I'd long since learned how to relax the muscles in my throat. After taking more time then what was needed with that single swab he reached for the other and scraped it along the side of my cheek in a hurry. He knew I'd sensed his arousal and knowing he'd been discovered left him nervous. Finally he pulled away and deposited each the Q-tips into it's own long plastic tub and sealed the lids. Then after he'd stepped back, Dr. Andrews smiled and stepped forward, oblivious to the moment that had just occurred. 

"Well Miss St. John, from our initial exams nothing immediately appears to be cause for alarm, now we'll simply send you to the lab for the blood work and we'll meet again in a week or so to discuss the results."

"Doctor, while I will certainly have Miss St. John back next week, is it possible to have the results of her labs as soon as they are available?"

"I will call Miss St. John as soon as I know. In the meantime either abstain from intercourse or make use of condoms."

I was dressing as this conversation transpired and soon we were back in the front office and William was taking care of the bill and making sure that my contact number was his home phone. I realized he had at least accepted me and unless I either failed the STD exams or his training that my life as a submissive had already begun.

"Alexandra, I want to drop your car off at my mechanic and have it serviced, then we will go and have some lunch. So follow me."

After lunch I would learn a good deal of what William expected.



Four F Girl Ch. 03



I followed William to his mechanic and after transferring my possessions to William's car we headed off to lunch. There was no real conversation during this time other then remarking about how little I had brought with me. William and I ate lunch in a nice restaurant and he ordered for both of us. He explained as we entered the restaurant that I was only to respond to questions and should minimize initiating any conversation. If I needed to ask him a question I would have to preface it with.

"Sir"

William indicated that it would be his decision to allow me to go forward at that point or to ignore my request. He explained that this was the beginning of my training to be submissive and that it would seem extreme in the beginning that I might not agree with everything and that was to be understood. He reminded me that until I was properly trained he expected some degree of failure on my part.

The he asked me.

"Alexandra tell me what you felt this morning with Dr. Andrews? Please remember to address me properly when responding."

I sat quiet for a few minutes trying to absorb everything that transpired since the night I ended up in Williams house. I began

"Sir, I felt a bit confused when I arrived. It had not occurred to me that such a check up was necessary. When I heard mention of possible STDs and AIDs I understood your desire that I be 'clean'. I assume that if I am not then this will not proceed."

"Alexandra, the appointment was to determine your physical health. Your relationship with me will be dependent on your ability to adapt to your submissive role, to take the necessary discipline. Any possible disease can be placated. Of course your ability to conceive is pertinent as well, but not in and of itself a deal breaker. Now tell me how you felt."

"Sir, that fact that you remained during the exam initially humiliated me. I wasn't prepared to be observed by anyone but the medical staff while so completely exposed. However, when the medical student showed up I was relieved that you were there, though I was humiliated at how he seemed to treat me like I was less than a person. Maybe he was embarrassed to be in that situation or maybe he has yet to develop a bedside manner. Overall I am glad the ordeal is over."

"Alexandra, such exposure can be part of a submissive's life. Feeling humiliated by that would indicate a lack of trust that your Master can care for you. When you have accepted the idea that you now live to please and serve me, then you will not be so affected by such events." 

"Now Alexandra! If you are finished with lunch we need to pick out come clothing appropriate to a submissive living in my house. I need not remind you that I will make the selections."

"Yes William, Sir!"

William took me to a number of stores in town that I am not sure I knew existed. He selected items that I tried on for him and when he was satisfied that something looked right on me he set it aside for purchase. A number of the items were erotic in nature, panties that hid nothing, bras that lifted my B cup tits but did not cover them. He selected skirts that were very short, blouses that were very sheer. Williams picked up a couple of dresses that revealed a good portion of my tits and were barely long enough to cover my ass. As then at one store he selected a set of sweats. To say I was confused about the eclectic mix of clothing would be an understatement.

Arriving back at Williams home he and I carried the packages to the room where I woke up the first time.

"Alexandra, this will be your room. When you have achieved a level of accomplishment sufficient to earn a reward I will allow you in my bed. As of now you are a nothing. Each day you must work to become something, you must add to the nothing you are now. The dresses we purchased will be used only when I elect to take you out. The standard dress for you each day will be a pair of panties and a bra. In this outfit you will accomplish your chores as I work. We will review the daily schedule in a little while."

I was trying to absorb everything and found myself with many questions that I wisely elected not to voice. I was convinced already that William would tell me what I needed to know. If I had questions, I would see if I could ask.

"Alexandra, you're having elected to reside with me pleases me. However, there are many hours in the day where I will be at work, here in the house and you must stay busy. So lets look at your schedule for the initial period of your training. We will start your day at six in the gym that I will show you later. That is what the sweats are for. You've let your body go, and I intend to have you reclaim it. Not for my satisfaction but as a part of you wanting to present me with your best and to instill some self-confidence. Then after showering we will eat breakfast and I will inform you of anything specific I want you to do. Around eleven you will prepare lunch for us and after lunch you will observe me at work and attempt to learn my business. I do not suffer a freeloader, nor do I take advantage of skills available to me. So as you learn more about my work and become productive and helpful to me there, you will be paid."

Nothing so far was giving me any reason to doubt this new life, especially as it seems it came with a paying job.

"When our workday is over we will then go to the discipline room. Initially, I will discipline you in a number of ways so that you know what each type of discipline is. I will learn to some degree what type of discipline advances your training and what doesn't. Then as we proceed you will receive some level of discipline each afternoon, based on how well you have learned."

The unknown has always been scary for me. The whole concept of discipline was my major hang up after the research I'd done. I admitted that I trusted William so I was determined to continue. In fact I was getting somewhat excited about the whole thing.

"After dinner then we will begin to teach you about sex. I know you think that having fucked so many men over the past ten years that this might be unnecessary but I can assure you that it is not. I will teach you how to have a satisfying orgasm and how to control that orgasm at my command. I will teach you how to pleasure me and at some point down the road I will teach you how to properly fuck. Do you have any questions?" 

"Sir, I probably do have questions, but I would prefer, if you approve, to allow me to experience this life and let the experience teach me. If I remain with questions I will see if you are still agreeable to answer them."

"Ok, the last item is the most critical. As your Dom, it is my job to build you into the best submissive that I can, to allow you to experience all the pleasure being a submissive can have. As I said there are all sorts of discipline and situations that might scare or humiliate you. It is necessary for me to know when we come to a point where your fear is overtaking you. Consequently we need to have a word or phrase to know to cease what we are doing. Some couples use a simple green means go and red means stop. That or they simply pick a word that would not normally be a part of any sexual adventure, for example the city or town they born. So by tomorrow morning when we begin, you will need to tell me your safe word."

"Yes, Sir."

Now tonight is free in the sense that there is no training or discipline. I would like you to settle your room and of course show you the rest of the house, the gym etc. We will have dinner and then you will be free to watch TV or go to your room to prepare for tomorrow."

I carefully unpacked my things and the clothing William had bought me that day. I elected to put my stuff in a bottom drawer or in the back of the closet as I concluded that my attire would consist of the clothing William had bought. Once done, I headed into the bathroom to shower. I placed the clothes I'd been wearing in the hamper and then took a look at myself. I could see each and every area of my five foot eight inch body that had collected either fat or lost muscle tone. Fortunately by B cup tits remained perky, though my thighs, especially close to my pussy were fatty and repulsed me. My waist had filled out to almost equal the width of my ass. My hair, usually colored blonde was showing significant dark roots of the natural brunette I was. Yes, I believed that blondes had more fun. 

I stepped into the shower and thoroughly cleaned every inch of my somewhat decimated body. William had left some very good hair products and I used them but by the time I had dried off and used the hair dryer my hair remained dull and lifeless. I wondered what William would want done with that head of hair. Would he want me blonde, would he care how dull and lifeless it looked? In this life I had chosen I realized it was foolish of me to care, that if I trusted as I was supposed to then it would be taken care of. One last look at the needs of my body made me adamant that I would work hard in William's gym. While he indicated it would restore my self-confidence, I wanted my body back in shape for him.

I contemplated what to wear and decided that the bra and panty sets William had said would be my 'uniform' was what I felt I should wear even if my official training didn't start until the next morning. Nervous and I stood in this completely revealing outfit I understood the phrase that spoke about how a person could actually look more naked with the right clothes then without any. My body did no justice to the outfit, but I was determined to change that and I was determined to use that as an incentive to get myself back into shape.

As I came to the living room I noticed William reading some papers and then looking up at me I saw a question in his eyes. Then he said.

"Alexandra, your training starts in the morning. You need not dress this way tonight."

"Sir?"

"Yes Alexandra!"

"Sir, I committed to this life, to you, before today. I committed to being in your house and to being trained properly to submit to your needs and desires. It is important to me that I start immediately, at least by wearing my daily uniform. I know my body looks bad and that this outfit does not flatter me, but I need that incentive to help me push myself. If you do not object, that is Sir!"

"Alexandra, you are too hard on yourself. Yes you are a little out of shape but you are still beautiful. Yes, we will work together in the gym and in developing a proper diet, but this is something I want for you. If you want to begin tonight then we shall do so. Come with me."

I followed William to the basement. The room was divided in half, one side was fitted out with exercise equipment and the other was hidden behind a wall with a locked door. William went to the door and unlocked it, but before opening it he asked.

"Alexandra, have you decided on a 'safe' word?"

The mention of a safe word made me realize that what was behind that door was something that I'd read about but never experienced. Some sort of discipline room containing whips, chains, as well a numerous other unknown implements. I gulped and felt a nervous flitter in my stomach.

"Sir, I think the easier it is the better. For now I'd like the simple red/green."

"Very good Alexandra. When enter this room you will do as I ask when I ask. If you feel the need then say red and we will discuss. From time to time I may ask what color you feel and this is when you will tell me either red or green. Again if red we will discuss if green I will continue."

I nodded my understanding as my stomach was doing flips over the unknown.

"Now tonight for our first visit to the room, I will use various means of discipline on you. The intent is not to prolong any particular discipline but to make you aware of the variations and to allow me to see the effect so I can better use them as needed. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir."

When the door opened I gasped as what I saw. William gave me some time to look, to see the whips, leather belts, the restraints hand and ankle cuffs. I saw a table that had places to cuff my ankles and arms that would force my legs wide and my arms above my head. I could see myself strapped on that table my pussy spread wide and my arms forcing my tits to jut out. William opened a cabinet and I saw butt plugs in various lengths and widths, a number of nipple and clit clamps and a good supply of lubricants. In the corner stood a giant X shaped device that I noted also had restraints for arms and legs and I could see how a body would be restrained while standing. In the very center of the room, in the ceiling were a set of hooks that I learned could be used to suspend me. Lastly, I saw what looked like a simple sawhorse except that its top was padded and there were also places to secure arms and legs.

William allowed me time to look and understand and then he took me to the sawhorse and had me bend over the padded bar. He secured my legs spread to the side and then my wrists were secured and pulled so that I could not move. I felt my pussy opening and closing and a dampness on my upper thighs as William selected a leather belt that he showed to me.

"Now Alexandra this is the basic strap that will be used on you for most discipline. I will give you only a few lashes now to allow you to understand the level of pain they can cause. I assure you that nothing I will ever do will rupture your skin or draw blood."

"Yes, Sir! I am prepared."

Yeah right. I was scared yet anxious but I was not prepared and when that first lash landed on my left ass cheek I howled. Meaning, I am sure to give me comfort William asked.

"Alexandra what color?"

The pain was now ebbing and I felt OK so I said.

"I am Green Sir."

He used the belt on me again ultimately giving me four lashes, two on each cheek. Then he placed the belt back on the wall and selected a long thin wooden looking object.

"This Alexandra is called a cane and it is flexible as is the leather but it provides a different, more intense pain and it is used when you have committed more serious issues. Are we still green?"

"Yes Sir, please show me."

The cane was so much more intense then the belt and the shock of the first blow was so disconcerting that I again screamed. Before William could ask I said.

"Green Sir, please more."

I really didn't want more but I wanted to learn and I took two lashes to each cheek and the pain coursed through me and I bit my lip to stifle any more screams. My pussy was now full on wet as so were my thighs. I never knew the sexuality behind the spanking in fact I scoffed at it in the stories I'd read.

"Alexandra. Tell me what you think."

I wanted this to come out right, I wanted no confusion, no misunderstanding.

"Sir, The leather belt was painful and the cane more so. Yet, I found myself able to withstand the little bit you tested me with. I am wet my pussy is enjoying this, so I imagine I am too. Is this what you meant by discipline that is enjoyed and therefore not effective?"

"To some degree yes. However, most submissive men and women do become sexually aroused, some because they find a means of using the pain and some because they see the freedom in not having a choice. Now, I would like to move you to the table."

I was released and stretched and noticed how firm my nipples were. I lay on the table and William shackled my arms and legs just as I had imagined. My arms were far enough back to be a little uncomfortable and the result was that my tits were accented on my chest. My legs were stretched to the side and my pussy was gaping open my labia pulled out from behind the flimsy material of my panty.

"Now on this device we can use belts and riding crops to flay your tits and nipples or your clit. I think for tonight we have demonstrated enough of the pain and it may be better for you to try to imagine the feeling of a riding crop then to demonstrate. This table is also used for sexual training and sexual discipline."

I waited on William to begin and he hesitated and I became agitated at his idleness. I started to squirm and then William said.

"Sexually you will need to learn that your body is mine to use. I will now use my fingers and perhaps some toys to stimulate you toward, but not to orgasm. Feel free to react in any way you need to."

That scared me but when his hands lightly stroked my nipples I relaxed in the sheer pleasure of his first touch. He used his hands and tongue in various places, though never my lips or pussy. He always came near but never touched me between my spread legs. I was becoming more and more turned on by his gentle touch, the comparison with the pain of the belt and cane made me more aware of the sensitivity of his touch. My thighs were being coated with my pussy juices yet he had never touched me there.

He then put my nipples between his thumb and forefinger and pinched them before twisting them slightly at first then more severely. I was building towards and orgasm and it felt like it would hit me with force when William stopped everything and I cried out in anguish at the lost opportunity. Leaving me panting for a while he then said.

"Your orgasms also belong to me. You will learn that you may cum only when I allow it, when you have earned that right."

I nodded as he started to once again play with my body. He found ways to bring me to the edge and then stop. I was losing control as he performed this tease over and over before asking me.

"Who are you Alexandra?"

"Sir, I am you submissive,"

I hoped that was what he wanted to hear but I was so lost in my own needs that I rally didn't care if I was wrong.

"Do you want to cum Alexandra?"

"Oh god! Yes Sir."

He looked at me with sad eyes and said.

"You are my submissive and you have no wants. You want for nothing other then to please me. Now I ask again, do you want to cum?"

"Sir, I want whatever you please. If my cuming pleases you then yes, if my frustration in not cuming pleases you then that is what I desire most to please you."

"Alexandra you are learning, however you are too slow so for tonight there will be no release for you. I trust that you will obey my command and not masturbate tonight, I will know and the belt will sting tomorrow if it needs to. Do you understand my dear, my precious submissive?"

"Yes Sir, I will try to obey you."

He freed me from the table and I have to admit I was sad that the teasing was over. I had hoped he would go too far and make me cum. As he ushered me to my room I realized that William would never err and that it would be up to me, to prove myself, to as he says 'earn' my release.

I was not strong enough yet to be as obedient as I am now and after an hour or so of tossing and turning in bed I found my fingers plunging into my cunt and rubbing my clit till I came. The orgasm was so intense. If he could put me in this state without even touching my pussy I began to wonder what that orgasm would be like when he took access of every part of me.

We met in the gym the next morning both of us in sweats and William outlined a work out for me. It was a vigorous workout and I was sweating profusely by the time I was done. When I finished my last push up William had me strip off my sweats and stand against the wall. He took out a camera and after posing me, legs spread and arms out to the side he took a photo. Then he had me shower and dress before meeting him in the kitchen for breakfast.

Over a bowl of fruit William said.

"Alexandra, obedience is a hard trait to master and I know you failed me last night so expect to be disciplined later. Follow your list of chores and I will see you at lunch."

That afternoon, I was disciplined with twenty lashes of his leather belt and I was taught to count those lashes aloud and to thank him after each lash. I read about this so I was aware and I managed to suffer only one additional lash as I forgot to thank him after the first lash. Then it was on to the table where once again William brought me close to climax a dozen times before sending me to bed.




Four F Girl Ch. 03



Over the first few weeks this became a routine, the first week I failed again and again to hold my release in bed at night and every afternoon I received twenty lashes. Once I developed the ability to obey Williams rule on self gratification the afternoons also changed. I was suspended by my arms and stripped naked of my bra and panty. William now included my pussy in the teasing along with my tits. He eventually began to place clamps on my nipples and to place a butt plug in my ass. The clamps started out almost symbolic but as the days passed and my obedience strengthened the clamps became more painful. The butt plugs also began to grow. I noticed that even now, after we'd returned to Dr. Andrew's office and learned I had no STD's the sexual activity still did not include William's cock. 

In the second month of my training as William increased the level of teasing and denial of my release as he began to take control of my orgasm. He started one day when after teasing me again and again, always stopping before I could release. I must admit that my ability to hold back from orgasm as he teased me had improved and it was taking longer and longer for me to get to that point where the next touch would have set me off. On this day William had just stopped and I was once again feeling empty, wanting. He waited a few minutes then said.

"Alexandra when I touch you in a minute, I will glaze your right nipple with the back of my hand. You are to release your orgasm from that touch alone." 

As he looked at me I began to anticipate that touch, wanted it, desired it and my body tensed up for it. I found my body aching for release and when that hand barely glazed that right nipple I exploded in the strongest orgasm I have ever had. As I gradually came back to my senses, still enjoying the energy that flowed through me I saw William smiling.

"Good girl. You have come a long way in a short time, Alexandra. Now you may chose. You're to receive ten lashes. Do you want the leather belt, the cane or the crop? 

"Sir, I am only you servant and I desire what you desire. My choice is your choice Sir."

He smiled and led me to the padded bench and I folded myself over it. He did not ask me to spread my legs, but I did and he did not cuff me in place. I felt joy in his trust in me. William selected the cane, which I had not experience since the first demonstration. I took the ten lashes to my ass cheeks. The pain was intense but I took it as quietly as I could. When it was over William took me to the table and asked me to lay face down. I did so placing my arms over my head and kept my legs spread. I could still feel the effects of the cane, the pain had ebbed and now a warm glow was all I felt on my ass.

I felt something warm trickling over my ass and then William's hands massaging my ass cheeks. I could not help but look back and I saw that He had poured some sort of oil on my as and was massaging it into my red-stripped ass. It felt wonderful.

"Alexandra! You performed very well this evening. You did so well, that I am going to treat you to an adventure on Saturday. I think you are ready to be shown and to learn more of your lifestyle."

Show and taught, an adventure? I was unnerved. I was tumbling over the word show. I was also afraid that I was not as ready as William thought and that I would fail. Yes, in the few months I had been with William I was devoted to him, I desired to please him. Yes, I did not yet have the confidence in myself to not be afraid that I would fail him. The sessions in the gym and the weekly photos that William had taken showed me how my body had slowly started to come back together. I was not there yet, but my arms and legs were starting to firm up and my love handles now looked like love handles opposed to a second ass.

On Saturday I appeared in my typical bra and panty outfit and met William in the discipline room. He had something out on the table, a jumble of leather straps somehow fixed together with metal rings at the joints. He told me to remove my 'uniform' and after that I stood and took direction from William as he worked this jumble of leather straps on to my body.

When he was done this is what you would see. Two of the straps came up through my legs and when secured to the strap around my waist lay on my labia and pulled them to the side holding my pussy open. The same straps pulled my ass cheeks apart as well. Another strap ran under my tits and from that strap two individual straps ran up over each tit. They were secured around my neck and pulled my tits into my chest and made my nipples stand out. Lastly, William secured a collar around my neck and fastened a leash to the back. A leather garter belt was then secured around my waist, just above the leather strap that was securing my ass and pussy open. Lacy black stockings rolled up my legs and attached to the garter clips. A pair of calf high boots with four-inch heels were put on my feet. Then William took me to a mirror and let me examine the result.

I looked at myself and saw a woman whose pussy, ass and tits would be focused on. The various leather straps pulled my eyes to the white skin they trapped in their embrace. The boots and stockings led your eyes up to my gaping cunt or my open ass depending on where you might be standing. In one sense I was the picture of sex.

"Sir?"

"Yes Alexandra?"

"Thank you Sir. Does the result please you Sir?

"You look great. Today will be a test for you. You need to rely on your trust in me and obey me at all times. You know how much you have come and I would not test you this way if you were not ready. Shall we go?"

"Sir, your pleasure is my goal."

Surprisingly William slipped a long light raincoat on me covering me down to my knees. Then we left his house and drove an hour or so in silence. We arrived at a warehouse like place with a single door and a number of other cars already parked in front. I was helped from the car and led to the door. William pulled what looked like a key card, like something you'd see in a hotel and the door opened. We stepped into a foyer and I saw a number of coats hung on pegs in the wall and another door. William slipped off my coat and placed it a peg then took hold of my leash and pulled me toward the door. I tired to walk normally with him, but I was stumbling a bit. I gasped when William led me through the door. 



Four F Girl Ch. 04



I stood frozen looking into the cavernous hall. My eyes were everywhere at once. William tugged lightly on my leash and said.

"Alexandra, all the people you see are part of the BDSM crowd in this area. This is an exhibition designed to allow Masters to display their slaves or submissives as the case may be. If you look closely you will see that not all submissives are female, in fact quite a few are male. You will also notice that there are a number of same sex relationships as well."

As William spoke I looked about the room, more amazed then anything else at the number of women and men, collared and leashed, some with ankle and wrist chains, some naked, some partially dressed. I felt able to move and began to follow William into the room.

"Alexandra I wanted you to see that you are not unique. I know you've read about this life and probably suspect that there are others who live this way. This trip lets you see for your self. There are vendors here who sell toys designed mostly for this lifestyle, you'll see chains, whips blindfolds, handcuffs and other restraints and some costumes as well."

"Sir?"

"Yes Alexandra?"

"Does that woman over there have a tail?"

"Its an insert. A tail is attached to a butt plug and inserted into her ass, giving the image of her with a tail. Most look like horse tails, some like dogs, it all depends on the play the Dom and Sub are looking for."

We walked further into the room and I saw so much that amazed me, some things that turned me off but in whole once I saw I was not the only woman virtually naked in the room I began to enjoy the displays.

"Alexandra, as I said I wanted you to feel part of a larger crowd in the hopes is would allow you to feel better about your choice knowing so many others have made the same choice. Also I want you to look at the various toys and tools of the life and tell me if there is anything you find appealing. Appealing in that you might enjoy it, or that you might find the humiliation of it so intense that it excites you from a submissive point of view. For example tell me what you'd feel right now if you were sporting a tail embedded in your ass?"

I thought about that before I responded. I wanted to be honest with William and I wanted to please him.

"Sir, I've never did a lot of anal play and I can imagine it is somewhat painful to be penetrated there. However, seeing the amount of anal toys on display and the glow that woman sported as she proudly strutted by I can't help but wonder about it."

"Well Alexandra we will eventually get around to some anal play. How much will depend on how you handle it. You are my submissive and your goal is to please me, but I do not particularly enjoy pure pain for pains sake. I know that at least at first penetrating the anal canal is painful, but over time some women come to enjoy that while others hate it. We shall see."

William stopped to watch a Mistress who had her submissive (woman) tied to a big wooden X. She was tied so that she faced her Mistress. I saw her smallish tits heaving from anticipation as she watched her Mistress selecting from various straps, whips, crops and canes. When her Mistress pick up a long thin whip like cane the women strapped to the X whimpered. I watched as the Mistress carefully began to strike her sub with that cane. The subs screams were muffled as the cane struck her legs and then her belly and grew louder as the cane struck just below her tits. I saw red strips where the cane had been. I look into the subs eyes and they were filled with lustful longing, seeming to beg her Mistress for more.

I felt a tug on my leash and realized that William was walking on and I shuffled to catch up. I watched as William surveyed a table of restraints and selected a set of leather wrist cuffs and pulled me towards an open stall. 

"Alexandra as you know other than using my hands and fingers on you we've not had any sex together. In fact you have never even seen my cock. Today you will not only see my cock, but you will use you mouth to make love to it, here in this room in front of any who chose to watch."

I gasped and was suddenly afraid and a part of me wanted to run out of the room while another part of me relished the idea of seeing and tasting Williams cock.

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"You want me to give you a blow job here?"

"No, any woman can give a blow job. What I want from my submissive is for her to adore my cock, to understand that my cock can only be hers by making love to my cock."

"Yes Sir!"

William had me kneel and then wrapped the leather cuffs on my wrists, then secured them to the back of my neck clipping them to my collar. My tits jutted forward with my arms pinned this way. I felt deliciously dirty kneeling there knowing what I was about to try to do.

William had gone and brought a young woman back with him. She was fully clothed so I assumed she was someone's Mistress. She held a long crop in her hand as William said to her.

"Sandy, this is my new sub, Alexandra. Today she is going to use her mouth to make love to my cock and I want you to use that crop wherever you think best if she needs some encouragement."

"I love helping to train a sub, is she obedient William?"

"To date yes, but as you know the further along we get the more discipline is often needed. She has spent most of her adult life as a sexual slut and I am sure she's adept at sucking cock. This is her first opportunity to see if she can learn to make love to one with her mouth."

I was now very nervous. It was one thing to suck a cock in a room full of strangers and another to know that one of those strangers would be evaluating you and perhaps whipping you whenever you were found wanting. 

"Sandy, nudge her legs apart, let her cunt get some air and be available if you feel you need to use it."

The Mistress spread my legs, opening my pussy and ass and trying to buy some credibility I looked down at the ground and said.

"Thank you Mistress, thank you Sir."

I was lost in this not sure of anything right now only that I was getting turned on and that was surprising. I knew that in this position Mistress Sandy could use that crop on my clit, my thighs or my ass. Hell she could come around and use it on my tits and belly as well. All these thoughts drifted through me and I felt my cunt dampening. Then William pulled his cock out and I lifted my eyes to it and smiled. His cock was so gorgeous. Long and hard, the veins running in squiggly lines up and down his semi erect cock. I wanted to see him hard, I wanted to see those veins throbbing, his cock head pulsing and spewing cum. I almost lunged forward but Mistress Sandy grabbed my head and held me back.

"William I think she needs to earn that cock. May I suggest some nipple restraint?"

"Yes, wonderful."

What? Holy fuck what did she mean? It didn't take long to find out when clamps popped onto my erect nipples and an elastic cord was clipped to a ring in the floor I had not noticed. The elasticity of the cord would allow me to rise up to take William's cock, but not with out some discomfort. I think my pussy was dripping now and I was coming to the realization that I loved this life, or at least this moment.

"OK Alexandra! Take my cock and make love to it."

Damn it was standing up and William was not going to lower it to my lips. I had to stretch up to get my mouth over the head and bring it to me, doing so I felt the strain of the elastic cord as my nipples had to pull it to allow me to reach his cock. Oh the pain was minor but still noticeable. But I had his cock and knew if I let him leave my mouth I would have to endure that nipple pain again.

Of more immediate concern was how the fuck is making love to a cock different from the blowjobs I thought I knew well how to do. I knew in that moment that I would feel that crop many times as I learned the hard way. So I did what I normally did and allowed his cock to fill me completely. William wasn't ungodly big, nor was he small in that area. He would enter my throat if I sucked him that deep but I decided to hold off for now and merely let my mouth become accustomed to his girth, his taste and his feel. I used my tongue to bathe him inside me and hoped to feel him harden soon and become fully erect. I knew the signs to look for and I could read them, I just needed to learn how to find them. A stinging sensation on my left ass cheek was the first new sign and I wondered what I was doing wrong. Then the second sting this time on my right cheek made me groan and almost allow William's still semi rigid cock to slip out of my mouth.

I automatically grasped for that cock with my lips pulling him back in and enveloping his cock with my mouth, I decided to plunge my head down and take all of him, while using my tongue to toy with the underside of that cock. No pain, I must be on the right trail. I slowly bobbed up and down, using my tongue to massage that cock and soon I felt it come alive, actually harden in my mouth. It grew longer and almost seemed to be searching for my throat. I backed my head up a bit and enjoyed sucking William's now hard cock.

At a loss now at what to do I decide to let his cock fall from my mouth so I could pleasure his balls and lick his cock. I knew that this would torture my nipples but I came to understand that this was part of my gift to William, my willingness to suffer both the indignity of another woman ready to whip me and to allow my nipples to be stretched in pain as well. I was to forget my own comforts to give comfort to my Master. Wow, I've called him Sir before but never referred to him as Master. I was learning now what I was, what I wanted to be, truly submissive to Him. 

I decided to forget the penalties of the crop and the nipple clamps, and see only to the pleasure of my Master's cock. I would not rush this I wanted Him to enjoy this, to enjoy what I was willing to give of myself to see to His pleasure. I actually felt I was in love with His cock as I laved it and sucked His cock and His balls. The pain in my tits grew each time I had to stretch up to reclaim that magnificent cock and my pussy was sopping wet, my essence I was sure was now gathering beneath my ass but I cared only for the cock in my mouth.

I was in a daze of lust, as I loved His cock. I wanted it to remain hard and in my mouth and to never leave. I'd never enjoyed sucking men off, I did it to get fucked, never to give pleasure and now that I saw the pleasure in doing so, I became enamored with the whole concept. I now wanted nothing more then to feel that cock of Master spew his load and yes, allow me the pleasure of swallowing it. William was breathing a bit harder now and His cock was now pumping deep into my mouth, banging up against my throat. I knew I could control my gag reflex but in that moment as his cock bridged that apex between my mouth and my throat I allowed the gag to occur. I wanted my Master to make me gag, make me choke on His cock. He pulled back a bit and I whimpered over His meat as he did so, looking at His eyes and begging Him back, all the way. 

I don't know how long this all took. To me it was a blissful eternity one I did not want to end. I know I felt the crop now and again and of course my nipples were red and swollen from the clamps and my stretching. Yet when I felt Master spasm and His cock flinch then spit I began to swallow as fast as I could. I hoped He would leave a bit on my tongue so I could savor the taste of Him and He did. He withdrew His spent rod and I enjoyed that last bit on my tongue. It was so tasty that I stretched forward yelping at the pain now intense in my nipples, but I wanted to clean that cock, I wanted to taste more of His cum. I ignored the ache in my nipples and licked and sucked His cock clean then looked up at His smiling face as He nodded.

My tits were freed and a fresh wave of pain enveloped me as the blood rushed back into my very sore and abused nipples. My hands were also released from bondage.

"Alexandra, you did quite well for your first time. I believe I will buy you a treat before we go home."

"Thank you Master. I am sure with practice I can make you proud of your sub Sir!"

We wandered about for another hour or so and then William stopped and bought a package of butt plugs. The box advertised them as progressively wider and longer to safely train one's anal passage. 

"This is for you Alexandra. For being such a good sub today."

To say my ass was now on the line was true. I could not wait for permission to begin using those plugs and making my ass available to Master and His cock.