Summary: Danny finally confronts how his life has been going since the shooting.

It takes another bit of Naser and Anon comforting me to finally bring me out of my room, fearful about confronting my suicidal tendencies.

I can't help but breathe a long sigh as I lower myself back onto my wheelchair and head towards the door. How can I explain the past five years? The drug use, the PTSD, the nightmares of seeing my dead friends and classmates? This won't be easy, that's for sure.

Wheeling out into the living room, the entire gang is still here waiting to see what happened. Naomi, who was her fake cheerful self like usual a few minutes ago is now silent, eyes full of worry. These people really do care about me, I guess I owe them some explaining.

"It's about time I talk about what happened to me after the shooting."

My words hang in the air, a suspense filling the room. I have to be brave, for my friends.

"Where do I start? After the shooting, I was in a rough spot for the next 3 months. I would shut myself in my apartment and do nothing but sleep and have PTSD episodes."

My words now hang in my mouth, unable to speak. My throat feels scratchy and dry. Trying to continue, my voice has now become a squeak.

"That gun that Naser found... I bought that gun after the shooting. I planned to one day end my life via a gunshot wound to the head. I did try ending my life a week after the shooting by jumping off the balcony of my apartment, it didn't work unfortunately as I landed on a truck full of mattresses, breaking my fall. I ended up only breaking a few bones in my left arm and walked away fine eventually. But now that all of us are here, I see that life has meaning now."

Looking down at my shoes, I can't help but feel like holes are being bored into me with all the stares I'm getting.  I lied. Life doesn't have meaning for me.

I wish I didn't just spill to them all of my struggles, now one of them will probably volunteer to stay behind and watch me at all times to make sure I'm not trying to kill myself.

Life just sucks. No sugar coating it. 

Looking back up, Reed comes to my side and comforts me. I missed him. So glad we're back together. After what feels like another eternity of silence, Fang finally speaks up.

"D-Danny... I can't put into words how sorry I feel for you."

Fang feeling empathy for once? Holy shit, alert the news.

My gaze wonders to outside, the mid afternoon sun reflecting the water.

I wish life could've been different. If only..

I close my eyes and play back the shooting in my head. Seeing Naser bleeding out beside him, we held each other in our arms. Despite having Reed as my boyfriend at that time, holding Naser just felt right. I didn't see Reed or Trish that morning anyways. That was until I saw Anon running through the hall. It all made sense at the time. Anon and Fang must have fought yesterday or something for her to do this. I never imagined she could be such a violent monster. Opening my eyes, I'm taken back to the modern day. I can't live like this.

 

Opening my balcony door, I look at the group, smiling sadly, my eyes full of tears.

 

"Goodbye everyone, I hope your lives go better then mine did" 

Before any of them could stop me, I flung myself over the balcony railing, where I see the concrete below.

Hello death, I'm ready to embrace you.

 

THUMP

 

My vision is now black, my ears filled with the familiar ringing sound.