Summary: Thought of the day: MANUAL NERVOUS SYSTEM SHUTDOWN TODAY, I LEARNED A NEW TRICK THAT I NEVER THOUGHT WAS POSSIBLE. SO YOU ARE AWARE THAT THE HUMAN BODY IS ONE BIG MUSCLE, IMBUED WITH THOUSANDS OF NERVE STRINGS? USUALLY, THAT THING OPERATES AUTOMATICALLY, YOU KNOW, TO KEEP YOUR HEARTBEAT CONSTANT, YOUR BREATHING STEADY, YOUR BRAIN SURGING, YOUR BODY LIVING. BUT, ON A SMALL SCALE WE CAN OPERATE THIS MACHINE OF FLESH TO SUIT OUR NEEDS! SUFFER A STRAY THOUGHT? SHORT CIRCUIT YOUR BRAIN, EASY AS THAT. THERE MAY BE LONG-TERM HEALTH DAMAGE TO IT, BUT NOBODY IS LIVING FOREVER, AND WE WOULD RATHER KEEP THIS BODY ALIVE AND SANE RIGHT NOW, THAN IN 10 YEARS OR SO. KEEP THAT SKILL IN MIND, IT MAY COME IN HANDY LATER. To describe this situation as awkward would be an understatement. Fang and Reed sit behind the same table, looking anywhere but at each other… then there is me, the one who tries to connect them both even if it feels like I am putting myself in the spotlight. I thank Raptor Jesus for granting Tracy the ability for empathy, because not once did she try to interfere with these two. I guess she figured that she already made this situation embarrassing for all sides. I sigh. Alright, what can be done? Maybe I should start the conversation somehow so that these two can pick it up after? No dice, these two have not even greeted each other properly. Maybe I could reintroduce them to each other? Nah, this would make this already awkward situation even worse. God damn it, this situation is a lot more difficult than I thought, I mean I figured the free-carrying Reed will be the first one to start talking like he would begin with "Yo, Fang, long time no see". And then Fang would nervously nod and also greet him in a much-subdued manner. I did not expect it to be like this. Fuck, I want everything to work out for these two… For their own sake. *** Anon, as his usual self, did not notice how he mumbled THAT ONE almost aloud. Obviously, I noticed, and of course, Reed noticed too. Damn it, I know Anon means well, but he seriously just made it worse… But at the same time, I know that he somehow did it before me. He met Reed, he talked to him, and he tried to reconnect. When I was too busy running away from my past, Anon actively confronted it. In a few days, he managed to convince me that he deserved a second chance at friendship, he met Reed and formed a new bond with him, and he easily forgave Stella… I cannot fall back behind, I must be strong myself. Alright, it will be easy, just say hello. "Hey… Reed, long time no see." "Hey, Fang." I am screaming internally… What the fuck am I even supposed to say? I mean, with Anon it was easy, he was the guy who understood me, even if he had his moments of assholery. With Stella, honestly, the fact that we weren't close kinda played in hand, because when I saw her all I felt was sadness. And sadness is surprisingly easy to overcome. But now I can't even begin to describe what I feel. There is the aforementioned sadness, but there is also anger, fear, uncertainty and… betrayal. Why does it feel this way? Who betrayed whom? Did I break his trust in me by abandoning him after one single fuck up, or… "Fang… I want to apologize first." Huh? Reed said something? What does he mean by apologizing? "I guess you figured it out, huh? The reason why you feel this uneasy around me… I am sorry." "W-what do you mean?" "I am sorry for being a mediocre friend. The way I treated you back in school was horrid, I did not know what I was thinking about." For some reason, the picture became clearer. I finally figured out why I feel this way. I feel betrayed. I thought… or even still think that Reed was the one who betrayed me. I can sense this unexplainable anger towards him. It is subtle, but it is there. It does not make me want to scream, more like it wants me to retreat back into myself and ignore him once more. "You know, Reed… That this apology won't be enough…" I haven't felt like this even towards Anon. But Trish and Reed… "I thought we were friends, that we had each other's backs. When we were hanging out it genuinely made me happy. It felt like nothing would stand between us and we would walk into this world together, side by side…" I always thought that I, Trish and Reed were like a family. When I felt that my parents and Naser failed me, I could always rely on them. But the more I relied on them, the more dependent I became. It did not take long before Trish… "Why did you let Trish do this to me?" I cross my arms, grabbing myself, as if I am trying to hold on to something. It feels so wrong. Everything is so bad. This me, the one I never wanted to be. The one perfectly hand-crafted by Trish to be something absolutely horrid. I finally realized why I never tried to rebuild bridges with Trish and Reed after Anon left… because I could not trust them any more. Not because of how they treated Anon, but because Anon, even though unintentionally, helped me to look into myself and what I have become. I blamed Naomi for manipulating me into a relationship with Anon, but at the same time, only after I broke up with Anon did I realize that Trish, in return, tried to manipulate me into leaving him… and she succeeded. And amongst all that there is Reed. And uncaring, absentminded asshole who couldn't stop being high for just one second to stand between Trish and me and set some boundaries. He always had Trish's back even when she was wrong! When I said that I wanted to play the guitar during our band practice, it was Reed who sided with Trish to go with bass. When I was unsure about my identity, it was Reed who said that I should roll with Trish's plan. For him, it always was "Trish that, and Trish this". It is as if he did not care about me. "You were not just a mediocre friend, you were horrible. Never once you were there for my sake, only for Trish's. When everything went bad, during the day of the presentation when Trish did something horrible to Anon, you were ready to take her side! Why? Why were you always taking her side?" "..." Reed could only look at me. His stare is as vacant as always, but this time it does not feel like his mind is somewhere else. It feels more like he takes it all in. Like he's ready to be punched, kicked and insulted, because he honestly believes he deserves it. This was the chance, this was the moment when I could whale it on him when I could throw any insult, any slur, anything at him, but… "And you know what is so funny about all of this, Reed? Even after all of this, you and Trish treating me… treating me like this… I cannot bring myself to hate you. You or Trish. I want to hate you, but I can't. I just miss you two so much and… I hate myself for being a coward and not trying to defend myself in front of you two. If I did then maybe…" I am not crying, I have no strength for that anymore. Not since I met Anon… I don't want to cry anymore, I am too tired of that. I just want to make everything right, to be happy once more. I don't want to be burdened by my past anymore. But I have no right to force Reed to reconnect, the only thing I can do is leave that gate open. I feel a hand on my shoulder. Only now I noticed that Anon was sitting right beside me. He says nothing, just looks at me and smiles. This smile brings me peace and I am able to relax and hold on to myself. I lower my guard and let my arms fall onto the table in front of me. I feel so tired, yet relieved. Like I can finally breathe easily. Even if Reed decides that I am not worth the effort, at least I can tell myself that I tried. Reed sat there for a few more minutes before he sighed and finally spoke up. "Yeah, I guess everything you said is the truth. There are many things I want to say myself, but first off… Anon, I am sorry I lied to you." "Huh?" Anon acted surprised, he let his hand slip off my shoulder. "About what I said the other day, about me having friends and work… the truth is, I do not have any friends anymore. When I went to college I just couldn't bother, or rather I couldn't muster the will strong enough to talk to anyone." Reed crossed his fingers and looked down at the table. "Ever since I graduated it has been hard. Both Trish and Fang had abandoned me, and I had no one to blame but myself. I let it happen because I lacked basic common sense. I thought everything would work out and… well you see where we are." Anon listens to this attentively. I think he is aware of that information, but he awaits something else… "When I went to college I decided to stop taking carfe… I wish to say I am over it, but… This is tied to not having friends. I don't know how to explain it, but every time I try to talk to someone at college and make new friends I always become… nervous. Like something isn't right, like I cannot do it. And when I felt like that, I was always tempted to return to using carfe. Because of that, I limited my interaction with others to a minimum and, well…" Why is he telling me all of this? He does not try to earn pity, so why? "Even that work I told you about… Well, it is real, it's just that I barely do any work. I just sit at the back and type some stuff on the computer, sometimes write some papers. I barely go out of that room and talk with others. Even now, talking to you is extremely difficult. So sorry for lying to you, Anon, I just did not want you to pity me." "... Then why are you telling me this now?" "Honestly, man, because I wanted to lift this mountain off my shoulders. And also to clear out some water. I always set myself up as a person you can trust, and yet I broke it with my own inadequacy. You two made a mistake to put your trust in me and for that, I want to apologize… Also, Fang." "Yeah?" "I am sorry for not taking your side when you were with Trish, it is just… I dunno, I always thought Trish needed me more." "What do you mean?" "I don't know how to explain it, but… it feels like you were always able to, sorry for the lack of a better term, get your shit together. Like even if life delt you a horrible hand, you were always able to recover from it. Trish though… it always felt like she was one breakdown away from… Breaking, I guess. I thought it was my duty to be near her at all times." Reed always had a soft spot for Trish, maybe perhaps even a crush, I knew that for a while. But to think he was thinking about her this way. "I was so afraid to hurt her, I ignored the times she was hurting you. I made myself believe that Trish would never hurt her best friend and, as you can see, I was wrong. I don't think it was Trish's intention, but she still hurt you, Fang. And it is my fault, at least partially." … After hearing this I realized how selfish I was, again. Of course, I am not the only person who regrets everything that happened and not the only one who is hurt. I feel like I am wrapped in many thorn wines, so obsessed with my pain that I cannot see those around me. I am relishing in that pain because it makes me feel significant like I am the only one… but I am not. "Reed… I want to trust you. I am so tired of all this. Hating others, regretting the past. I want to get over it. But it is hard to let go. Trish and you… you've hurt me. And I've also hurt you." I need to bring it to an end. This never-ending vicious cycle of anger, hatred and regret. This is the only moment when I can do it. If I do not forgive Reed now, I may never have this chance again… But it is hard. "I know what you mean, Fang… You don't have to forgive me. I understand what I have done is tons worse than what you have done. I forgive you for ignoring me at the end of high school. And, like, you had all the reason to ignore me. I just… I just want us to be friends again, like the old times." There is nothing wrong with trying it. "Reed. Everything that happened in the past matters… Well, it does matter, at least for me, but also, like, it already happened, isn't it? And… If I hadn't met Anon, I would never have considered this, so… I am also sorry, Reed, and I do forgive you. Or at least, I want to give you a second chance." When I said it, Reed looked at me with disbelief. He honestly expected me to hate him even now. But soon, his surprise turns to a simple smile. "Thank you, Fang. You won't even believe how much that means to me." "It means a lot to me as well." I feel light. Like I finally managed to achieve something. Like for the first time in a long while, I feel like everything is possible. However, one more issue remained… I looked at Anon, who had that very uneasy expression as if he was uncertain about his next action. I nod to him, it is time, Reed deserves to know. Anon turned to Reed. "Sooo, Reed. I have some to tell you too." "What is it, bro? You look like you are about to tell me that someone passed away." Anon gave out an annoyed sigh. And then… "Listen, Reed, I know where Trish is." These words awoke something within Reed, I never once saw him making this expression. It was like a shock but marked up to 11. I already could see Reed trying to ask "where?" but stopped himself halfway through. Anon notices it and continues. "She works at a spa. I have a card with an address and phone number right here." Anon places a small card on the table. It is a simple white card with a simple pink flower emblem wrapped in a red ribbon on it and the name of the spa. "Red Ribbon Spa". Never heard of it, but then again I never cared for places such as this. Reed hesitates for a moment but takes the card. His eyes run through the small lines of text on the back of the card. Then he blinks and puts it back down on the table. "... I know the street. It is not too far from here. Thirty minutes of walk if we are on foot. We could…" No, I am not ready for that yet. While I do want to forgive Trish and try to restore our friendship, I also still have a lot of grudges against her which are hard to let go of. I need a bit more time, maybe a week… And it seems Reed also needs more time. "How about next week, Reed?" "Huh?" "We can go there next week and meet her there. I-I just need some time to prepare." "Honestly, same…" I smiled at that comment. Right now Reed sounded like his old self. Felt kinda of nostalgic. Suddenly Anon stood up from his place. "So, I don't want to ruin this moment, but… I am pretty sure my shift is coming to an end and I need to report to Tracy, or else, tomorrow, she will work me to death." "Oh, come one pal, she isn't that bad." "Say that when you are the one that serves food here. I will be here in 10." With that Anon left me and Red alone. Oh god… "So, Fang, what have you been up to lately? I heard from Anon that you are still playing." "Yeah, I have a band, we play every day in a pizzeria in Skin Row." "Skin Row, eh? Man, that sucks." "Eh, it could be worse… At least it is not Rock Bottom. If it is as bad as Anon described back in the day, maybe I lucked out." Reed smiles but doesn't laugh. He rarely did, but I could always tell when he had fun having a conversation. And right now he is having fun. For the next 10 minutes, while waiting for Anon, me and Reed spent some time catching up. When Anon finally returned, he looked both happy and exhausted. "Well, how is it?" "Being paid by the day feels weird. But knowing that I now have some cash to spare feels rewarding… Work still ass though." "Well, it rarely isn't, pal." I stand up from my place. "Anyway, Reed, it has been nice catching up with you. But we need to go. Anon is having another evening lesson today and I want to make sure that he actually goes there." I look at Anon, giving in a mocking gesture. He flips me off. "Fuck you, Fang, I can be a diligent student when I want." "Yeah, if not for me, you would have lied on the bed all day." "Well, I can't argue with that." Reed laughs after witnessing me and Anon bantering. Wait, Reed laughs? "Man, I missed this. Seeing you two like that brings back good memories… Good memories, heh? Hey, Fang, what is your phone number?" After exchanging our phone numbers and saying our farewells, me and Anon leave the dinner. Outside Anon gives out a groan of anguish. "Fuck, man, not only I was having a rough day, you and Reed almost gave me a heart attack." "Hey, it's not like you're the only one who was worried." "Perhaps, but I am the only one who had to clean vomit AND keep you from tearing each other apart." "Alright, alright, I will give you that. Shall we go?" "Well, it will be approximately one hour of walking to the school… Why not, I need some fresh air after that shitshow." "Quiet you." I give him a light punch on his shoulder. He laughs it off. Alright then, Fang, you are a bit closer to your dream, and now you have many people supporting you. You have no room for a fuck up. And it is decided, that next week I am going to meet Trish and, later down the line, maybe will even reconnect with Rose. I can do it. As long as Anon is by my side, I have nothing to fear. "Someone looks happy." Anon said. Only now I see that I have a dumb smile on my face. "Oh, shut up." "Make me." I tried to punch Anon again, but he easily dodged it. Then again, and again, and again. I was trying to get my revenge while laughing like an idiot. For everyone else, we must look like two dumbasses, but I don't care what everyone else thinks of me. I am here, and I am happy. That's all that matters for now. *** You are sitting inside Ripley's car, waiting for your destination… wait, something is wrong. It feels strange. Why is it so dark in here? Yes, something is wrong, brothers, this one does not want to talk about nonsensical things designed to pan out the time! What is going on? Chief, hello, do you copy? We need to talk to Ripley about the recent interview! Snap out of it. [I… Why is it so dark? Why is it so quiet? Almost as if his brain fried! Is he okay? Muscle guy!] TO SAVE THIS ONE FROM WITNESSING THE MOST UNDESIRABLE SCENE, WE HAD TO EXPEL THE HEADLESS ONE. AND HE HAD THE CONTROL OVER THIS ONE'S DECISION-MAKING! I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO! And that is??? I SHORT-CIRCUITED HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM… ESSENTIALLY, THIS IS A STROKE WILLED INTO EXISTENCE! [Are you insane? Why did you do that? You know how dangerous it is?] Relax, darlings, everything will be alright. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? If it was a real stroke, I would not have existed… and the other one as well. This one feels calm, almost tired. He dreams of returning back to her side. He also completely forgot about his work and right now drowning in a sea of memories, good and bad. See? [Alright, so this is not a stroke, then what it is? Some kind of blackout response? The new type of repression?] I WILL CALL IT MANUAL NERVOUS SYSTEM SHUTDOWN. AND I HOPE WE NEVER HAVE TO USE IT AGAIN. Wait, this one is being shaken awake! Ripley wants to talk to him! The light is coming back, be ready, we are rolling out. *** "Rando, Rando… Hey, wake up!" You feel someone shaking your shoulder, as you open your eyes you look to the side and notice that you are in the car in the passenger seat next to a driver. Behind the wheel is your chief and friend, Aaron Ripley. Alright, we're back. "Rips? Whatsap?" He looks at you with a concerned expression, eyes wide open. You look through the windows around you and notice that you are still yet to reach your destination - the Quiet Place. "Rando, you alright? You looked strange… I never knew you could sleep with your eyes open." "What?" YES, WHAT? I AM FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT DESPITE ALL YOUR WEIRDNESS, YOU NEVER IN YOUR EYES SLEPT WITH YOUR EYES OPEN. You cannot recall anyone ever noticing that about you. Not even as someone close as Dawn. [This one is new to your ever-growing list of unaddressed issues. You need to check it at the doctor. You might have some progressing mental or chronic disease! Do not waste time with nonsense!] "Yeah, you looked like you were sleeping but also not. You also were humming, very quietly. It felt strange. Honestly, even creepy. And what was that melody that you were humming? It sounds familiar." It is the melody of my voice, interpreted by your frontal lobe, your nervous system and your heart. They gave me a form. A beautiful sorrowful, but also happy song. I will accept this gift graciously and will await our next meeting. This strange feeling… almost divine, Sire. Felt like the heavens above themselves looked down on us… one wink and we would be whisked away… For some reason, it reminds you of Dawn, darling. She is our goddess, but this is also more… grand. Like her presence not just within us, but within this world. [I… what am I doing here? Why do I want the same things you want? I am supposed to be the voice of reason and yet… I want the same bad things you do…] FOR A MOMENT YOUR HEART STOPPED BEATING AND YOUR LUNGS STOPPED PUMPING AIR. WHATEVER JUST HAPPENED IT WAS A SERIOUS STRAIN ON YOUR BODY. "Rando!" "OH! RIPLEY! Do not scream so suddenly, you know how sensitive my ears are!" "What else am I supposed to do? I was calling your name at the last minute and you haven't replied once! What is the matter?" "I…" Be honest, chief. "I honestly don't know…" "Rando, how do you feel?" "... Sad, a bit mad. But mostly sad. I just want to see Dawn again." "Really? A few days ago you thought she hated you." "She probably still does, just buried that hatred under… whatever kindness possesses her." "Rando, she does…" "Rips, you do not need to lie. You may not know what happened between us, but you know what I did to her. I only caused her suffering with… this." You point at yourself, Sire. "I… I just don't know, it makes no sense to me. She supposed to hate me but…" "Let me ask you, do you hate her?" "Of course not, how can I? She did nothing wrong, she just…" "Then apply the same line of thinking to her. Come on, Rando, you are an adult, time to think like one, you can't always act like a juvenile dumbass, I know you can do it." He is right, darling, our Dawn would never hate us! She is way too pristine for such things as hate! She is the kindest soul in the whole of Volcadera Bluff, probably the world! You know it is true! Don't listen to others, they are all just your basic tools for survival! I am a tool for love! Setting aside the strange guy over there, he has a point, do we really believe that Dawn hates us, brother, or… YOU HATE YOURSELF? "Fucking kill yourself, bastard…" "What did you say?" "Nothing…" And just like that you turn to the window by your side and look at the passing streets, buildings and people. It does not take too long before it becomes a blur of colorful patterns and moving shapes, occasionally interrupted by plain patches of unused land and walls. What are you thinking of? You think of today's evening. You are going to go somewhere with Dawn, preferably far away from that hotel for both your and her sake. Not your apartment, that place is a dump. No, you are going to drag her to that pizzeria to see Fang, Anon and the others. You want to introduce them to her. But is it really a good idea to bring her there? To some god-forgotten pizzeria? Of course not, darling, such a beautiful flower deserves only the best seats in the best restaurants of this town! The one you can only get into by booking it months in advance… But for some reason, it feels wrong. It was back when you returned from the academy… Four years of prolonged absence from her life. Within the first days, you wanted to surprise her. You ordered a place in a fancy restaurant outside of the city. You hired the best suit for tonight and even a proper taxi driver. She went outside and… you notice that she still wore her favorite dark leather attire. When she sees you her face contorts as she tries to hold back the laughter. She says that you look like a butler… She dresses up and two of you go to that place you were so excited to show her. But it did not take long before you realized that she was not enjoying the evening. Of course not, she is not the type of person to enjoy fancy, quiet places. She was the daughter of the streets, just like you, even if she had a family, the real one. She wanted to go places where something happens. You ditch the restaurant and… you just walk around the city, sightseeing the places that changed when you were absent. You tell her that you want to go to the art studio, to meet your friends, your brothers and sisters on the street… her expression changes… suddenly she starts crying… SHE HID IT FROM YOU, UNTIL THE VERY END. [By all right, you should have been mad at her, but… you couldn't. When she told you what happened you collapsed on your knees and just… shut down for a few hours.] When you came back to reality, you were on the bench in the park. It was dark, your place in this world was illuminated by a singular street lamp. You are looking somewhere, into the ground, past it and into the abyss. Your shoulders shake, your voice trembles… "All… all of them?". She says nothing. She just hugs you. The tears begin to flow down your face, "I… I am the only one left…" Darling, it is a bitter memory, but also an important one. You hold on to it, no matter how much pain it brings to you… I wish you could forget, but I am powerless. [And I cannot just make you forget. That memory is important. It makes us who we are.] "We are finally here, Rando." Your mind is pulled out of the gutter when Ripley calls out to you. You look out of the window again and notice that the hotel is just outside. Well, we are here. You unbuckle your seatbelt and prepare yourself. You sigh, thinking about how to act next. Ripley looks at you. "Are you sure you are alright? You have not acted this nervously ever since I took you to your first homicide crime scene." "Well, I am just about to meet the demons of my own creation and several years' worth of emotional frustration, so yeah, I am a bit nervous." Your voice is as monotonic as it can be, given the situation. "Hey, Rips, wanna go meet her?" "Haha, nope, it's all you buddy, don't try to use me as a wingman here." Ironic, Sire, because this man literally has wings. "Well… fuck it, we ball." With these words of self-encouragement, you open the door and step out of the car. "Hey, Rando…" You turn to Ripley while leaning on the car's door. "If something happens - call" "Will do, take care, I will come by tomorrow to fill the report papers." Ripley nods. You close the car and it does not take long to start moving. Soon, the car disappears over the horizon… or it just turns around the corner and disappears from your sight. Then you turn to the hotel. From this angle, it looks like a small castle or a mansion. A prison that holds our dear hostage. She is waiting to be rescued from this marble prison of boredom and exhausting labor! You must save her, darling! "Well, no point in standing here… Damn, it is getting colder and colder every day." You start moving towards the hotel's door and then you place your hand on the door's handle. YOU HESITATE, EVEN AFTER RESOLVING YOURSELF? FOR SHAME. You don't need them, forget that they are there and act as your own being. … I open the door. *** The next few hours for me could be described as "boring and interesting". After me and Fang reached the school, we went our separate ways. She went off to prepare for today's evening and I went inside the school in order to attend today's lecture. Thankfully today was easy. Only one lesson, although it is a three-hour one. Apparently, today is the practice day, aka today we are actually drawing. However, that enthusiasm quickly disappeared when I realized that our teacher today is Shuyaku who is accomplished by a BEAST of a triceratops. I guess when Bars is not around, this one is who helps our dear old teacher. I was expecting Shuyaku to be the one to start the lesson, but he stepped back so that the main stage could be taken by his assistant… "ALRIGHT, YOU LITTLE PUNY THINGS!!! FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW YOU CAN CALL ME ZIGANOF! I AM GOING TO TEACH YOU THE ESSENCE OF PAINTING. SO GRAB THOSE PAINTBRUSHES, PENCILS AND OTHER THINGS AND CHOKEHOLD THEM INTO THE SUBMISSION! And remember this. Nothing is impossible if you keep training! Alright, let us begin!" … Is every person in this school some kind of martial arts lunatic and… does this guy have a massive scar on his chest? I can barely see it, peeking out from under his red-as-blood shirt… Who the fuck this guy fought! Alright, I better not piss him off then. … Turned out, master Ziganof is actually a pretty good teacher, although a bit overly enthusiastic. He never insults you for asking questions or for messing up. But he does encourage improvement. Honestly, he acts more like a gym coach than a teacher, but hey, he knows his stuff. I decided to draw with a pencil, but I still felt uncomfortable with a paintbrush. When Ziganof saw this he complimented my steady hand, but also criticized my stiff movement, stating that in drawing, just like in wrestling, you must flow like a wind, otherwise you leave yourself open for a Bolshoy Powerbomb, whatever that means… In any case, it did feel like I learned something new. The lesson came to an end and I realized that I do have some time to spare. Maybe I should apply for the martial arts class. You know, so that I won't go completely soft from the lack of training, and for already students here there is a discount. Cheaper than the gym. Alright, I will think about that later. For now, I decided to go to Pizza Time early so that I could meet Fang before her performance and… I dunno, maybe talk about how we can improve her ability to play… Next week however I will definitely apply for the martial arts, who knows, maybe it will be fun. *** You are inside a "Quiet Place" hotel. The air inside is stiff and no sound of the outside world is able to penetrate these walls. Behind the reception counter, there stands a barely interested young raptor. Probably a hire for help, usually these folks are the most trustworthy in these places. The less interested - the better. They won't steal or betray their employer. You can approach the counter, but instead, you pull out your phone and… dial the forbidden number. Almost immediately it is picked up. "Hello, this is Dawn Morgan. How can I help you?" "Hey, Dawn… It is me." "Rando? Hello! How are you?" She sounds… ecstatic. Like she always wished for the day to hear your voice over the phone. "I'm mostly fine. Hey, I am in the lobby. Can you come down?" "Of course, give me ten minutes!" "Okay, I'll just stick around." You hang the phone. Important note, when she said "ten minutes'' she meant it. Dawn is always on time. Just sit down and relax. You go to one of the couches for the waiting customers and sit on one of them. Few thoughts enter your head. Most of them are connected to Dawn, but there is one that piques your interest. "Tether Effect"... you heard it before, maybe you even knew the term at one point, but now you can't remember. * If your phone was not a shitty flip phone, which you like so much, and instead it was one of those fancy smartphones, maybe you could have surfed the net for that info. So instead you decided to lean back on the couch and just float for a bit. Thinking about everything that has happened so far. Where everything is going. [The case. The case. Think of the case!] Alright, chief, what do we have… Hypothetically speaking, if the Union crew did not lie to us, then we can easily say that all the crates were removed from that basement. Then how in the world did another one appear there? Simple, somebody brought it there. [It must be that Cold guy again. And he possibly colluded with that guy "Cobra"] Then another question arises from those facts: why would he bring it there in the first place? Think, Stepan said that Cold proposed a hustle to sell the guns. Why would he do that? And then place the dead body there? A conspiracy… I told you, there are bigger players at hand… Chief, I have a prediction: those weapons that we picked up with the body? I am 85% sure that it is a red herring to distract the police long enough for something to happen. … [Wait, Rando, I think I got it! So, a little-known fact about weapons… mechanical guy, explain!] * Even if you scrub off ballistic markings and serial numbers of the weapon, it still can be tracked, even if it will be harder. Most manufacturers, to save time and money, outsource some parts to other factories. So, for example, factory A needs bolts, so they order it from either factory B or C. The stinger is both factories make the same type of bolt but of different quality and with different resources. So you have one that is made with purer steel, while the other produces more diluted ones. Ah, I see. Chief, think about it: there was an illegal backdoor deal involving weapons. These weapons end up on the streets of Volcadera Bluff and in the hands of one of the most vile gangs here. Then, the said gang loses them to another gang who is known for being pretty much makeshift police. You're out of luck! Because not only do you lose a client, you are also now moments away from being discovered. So what will you do? INSTALL A TRAITOR AMONGST THEIR MIDST AND USE ALL THE MANNERS OF DIRTY TACTICS TO GAIN AN ADVANTAGE. This Cold dude fits the description of a possible traitor. So what is his plan? To bring in a box of generic crap weapons, most of which are probably made somewhere outside the country, and have no connection to the original shipment, and then place them inside Union's formal outpost as a "forgotten" crate. Then, you kill some sod from the Sunrise, Union's mortal enemies, and drop their body in the same basement. The body belongs to the leader's brother… Oh no… [Yes, somebody is trying to cause an intergang conflict. To pretty much let go of the chain and let the two gangs burn the Skin Row to the ground.] If there is a war between Union and Sunrise, the rat can use the commotion to sneak into both headquarters and destroy all the evidence of weapon trades, while also eliminating any possible witnesses if possible. Right, this could be a reason. This is all set up… to cover up the tracks… WITH THE DEAD BODIES OF CRIMINALS AND CITIZENS ALIKE. Now, chief, this is all a theory, so we can't jump to any conclusion just yet, we lack evidence. So for now just remember this little brainstorming we had and return to it when the picture becomes clearer. "Haaa, I hope this shit ain't gonna get worse…" "What is gonna get worse?" Your thoughts are interrupted by Dawn, who stands in front of you, wearing a white sweater and black pants… this outfit however feels more outgoing. "Eh, nothing, something about work… For how long have you been standing there?" "Couple of minutes. Saw you sitting here, arms crossed, eyes closed, all inside your head. I just thought it looked really funny." "Dawn… this is how I think…" "I know… I also miss seeing you do this. You kinda look smarter when you do this." "What? " "Staying quiet for more than a minute." She smiles gently after making that joke. She places both of her hands behind her back… isn't she acting too girly? You have noticed this as well, isn't it, darling? Our dear princess does act like herself. As if she is trying to restrain herself! Where are the dramatics? Where is that spunk she had 5 years ago? Is she… She is acting like that for your sake. "So, where are we going today? To meet your friend who needs my help to set up a concert?" She is sharp. "Yeah, but also think of it as a…" Say it, darling, you can do it! You want to say it! "... A date?" When you said that Dawn darted her eyes away from you and looked to the side. She was clearly surprised by this sudden revelation. She hesitates for a moment, but then… "A-alright… This is a date… Never thought I would go on one with you…" There are hints of melancholy and hopelessness in that statement. You can see her eyes being distorted by sadness. "Rando, you don't need to-" "Dawn, I want it… honestly, I wanted it for a while. I missed you and I want us to try something new. Maybe not rebuild the burned bridges but instead build the new ones. I..." Before you could continue, again, you felt her hand on your cheek. "Rando, you don't need to explain, I know what you mean… So relax, I also missed you and I also want to try something new." This is perfect, darling! Now lean forward and- NO YOU WON'T, NE– No, don't! We can't go blank on her right now! "Randooo~ You spacing out again~" "Sorry… I am just happy that you are willing to accept me. "Of course, I will accept you, you are…" "The most important person in the world" she desires to say. For some reason, such a thought brings you pain. "Alright, when should we move out?" "If we go there now, we could have a simple hang-out dinner before their performance. You're going to love it, Dawn. You will see why I believe in their success." "Alright then, Rando. Should we go there on foot, or should we order a taxi?" You think for a moment. Pizza Time is pretty far away. Alright, act like a gentleman! "It is a bit far, so I will call a cab, are you alright with that, Dawn?" "Of course, I am fine with this, silly, I will pay." "Haha, nope, I am paying." With those words, you took a phone out of your pocket and called the taxi. The answer, as expected, was after three short rings. "Hi, Taxi service, how can I… Yes, Monarch, I know… Where do you need to go?" Huh, isn't that the other guy who delivered you to the police station the other day… What is his name? "Hey Gray, how are you?" "Who is… Oh! You are that detective that I met a couple of days ago!" "The one and only." "How can I help you, officer?" "Don't be so formal. Need a car asap at Quiet Place Hotel. And we are driving to the Pizza Time pizzeria." "We? Do you have someone with you?" "Yes, they are going with me if it isn't a problem." "No problem, sir. I will be there in ten minutes… Yeah? I have an order here… What? No, I will not drive that carelessly, I am not you!... alright, I will be there in five, sir." There is someone else on the other side of the call, you can hear a commanding voice. It is the taxi driver that usually responds to your calls. "Alright, Gray, see you in five." I hang the phone and look at Dawn. "Are you ready, Dawn? The car will be here in five minutes." "That is quick… But yes, I am ready." She turns to the guy behind the counter. "You've got it from here, right Trevin?" A raptor in sunglasses and a shirt with some Japanese animation characters printed on it nodded. "Got it, miss. This job is still easier than fucking gas station." "Good, I will be here after 22:00. If I am not home by that time you can get yourself room 203 to rest." "Got it, thanks." What a strange individual. He is working such a simple job, and yet… THIS MAN HAS KILLED FOR MONEY AND GLORY IN THE PAST, THAT IS CERTAIN, HE HAS THAT LOOK. [Not important now. Right now you have a schedule to follow.] "Alright, let's wait for the car outside." "Yeah. Let's go. I haven't gone out in a while… Feels strange." "And it will become stranger if you stick to me." "Oh quiet, you weirdo." She smiles at you. Both of you approach the door… Be a gentleman, darling! Open the door for her! You do that, and as you hold the door you say the most predictable, embarrassing line. "Ladies first." "Really now? You never did anything like that in the past." "There is always a time for something new." "I guess so… Well then, ladies first means ladies first." With a smug smile and closed eyes, she passes you, her hair briefly brushing against your face. As she passes you she looks back at you without turning around. "Are you going to stand there forever, or are you waiting for me to say something like "last one alive close the door"?" You laugh at that comment, it reminds you of the past. You go through the door and it closes behind you. Now it is only a matter of waiting for the taxi to arrive. Time for a small talk, darling. Don't worry, I will guide you through. "So, Dawn, how is your job as of late?" *** Arriving early to Pizza Time and seeing the stage empty felt strange. Almost as if I arrived at the wrong place. Half of the tables are still empty, and the music that plays out of the speakers sounds like a generic, royalty-free "Italian" jingle. I can see people around me doing everything but enjoying their meals. A couple of old men at the back playing what I can describe only as "checkers with dice". A couple of teens at the far wall make out with each other. A group of badly dressed homeless people sitting near the counter, dropping coins and small bills on the table, ordering what they can to survive… It feels like the first day I arrived here when I saw Fang for the first time in three years. It feels strangely melancholic here. I wonder if she is already here, behind the stage in the staff room. "She is here, if you wonder." I suddenly notice that beside me stands a big, dark-brown tyrannosaur. He wears a suit and… an apron on his front. What a weird choice of attire, isn't it hot to wear something like that in the kitchen? Actually, he reminds me of someone. Wait, what he said? "Excuse me?" "That girl who plays here? She is in the back, preparing her instruments." "Sorry, sir, but I don't…" "I saw you and her talk yesterday when we were closing down. Don't know what you did, but she looks a lot healthier now than she did a week ago. Still ways to go though." He has a slight Italian accent, much more subtle than the one of another tyrannosaur that works in pizzeria… wait. "Sir, are you by any chance related to Moe? You know, at the Dino-Moe's?" When he heard that name his face became a bit angrier. "Ah, that young prick. He knows nothing about how to run a business or how to manage a family… But who am I to judge." … It feels like I have heard something I shouldn't have heard. Quick, stitch subjects Anon! "... Are you worried about Fang?" "Young man, I am worried about everyone on Skin Row's streets, such feelings come with age." "Do you know her?" "We talk. A bit. I am mostly relegated to the kitchen. The owner is the one that talks to her and he is a bit busy at the moment dealing with homeless beggars." I looked past the tyrannosaur to see the owner of the pizzeria, an older, fat allosaurus… "Oi, Luca, how about you drag that ex-convict ass over here! These folks are being unreasonable again!" Oof, this is some horrible tone he has. But I have known him for a month, he may sound like an ass, but he is actually a pretty decent fellow. "I am coming, Morsh. Listen here, mister, if you want to go talk with your friend behind the stage I allow that. I will inform Morsh about it." "... Thank you, mister… Luca?" "Luca DeDominico. I am manning the kitchen. Hope you enjoy our pizza." He nods and excuses himself to help the owner. Huh, I never knew that there is more than one person working here, but then again, it's a bit difficult to run a pizzeria just by yourself. Following his advice I stood up from my seat and went towards the stage… and then behind it, to find a red, reinforced door with a big sign "Do Not Enter: Staff Only". Well, I have a permission, sign, so fuck you! I approach the door and press on the handle… Fuck, it is heavy, alright, that's decided, next week I attend the martial arts lessons. As I walk through the door I see a small, but spacious room with a few boxes, a table, a mirror and a couch. And of course our trio. Fang, Stepan and Dude. When they noticed that someone entered the room, they turned to me. Fang was especially surprised. "Anon, what?..." "The cook allowed me here, said he will talk to the owner… Hi Fang. Sup Dude, Stepan." "Hey!" Said Dude. Stepan silently nodded. I approached Fang. "So, are you ready?" "Of course! Man, it is so weird to see you here, yet oddly fitting. Hey, guys, you don't mind that Anon is here?" "Nope, he can stay here for as long as he wants!" "... If he can help us with cleaning this place up late, I do not mind." "Come one, Stepan." "What? If he is staying here, might as well give us a helping hand." Fang laughed for a bit. "Don't worry, Anon, Stepan is glad to see you. He's just being an ass." Stepan let out a protesting groan but said nothing. I guess Fang is telling the truth because I see Stepan smiling while tuning his bass. I guess he can understand humor when it is needed. "So, Anon, how is the art school? I hope you did not have your ass handed to you by your teacher again." "Nope, but today the teacher was surely strange… I believe his name is Ziganof." When I said that, Stepan jolted. "Ziganof? As in a famous wrestler?" "I don't know if it is him, but he did promise to powerbomb students for messing up… Damn, that reminds me of Spears." "Yup, that sounds like Ziganof alright. Did not know he lived in Volcadera Bluff. Small world." Stepan said that and returned to tuning his guitar. For the next few minutes, we just talked about whatever, exchanging dumb stories and news. That continued until we heard the door creak. "Fang, you have ten minutes… Oh, and mister regular, get your ass out of here! You are not allowed to be here when the band is out." From behind the door, the owner peeked. We all collectively nodded to him and he left as quickly as he appeared. "Alright, Fang, I'm gonna go take my place… Plus, I am fairly certain Rando will be here tonight as well, might as well meet him." "See ya after the show Anon.' I smiled at Fang and then turned around towards the exit. As I am about to leave the room… "Oi, Anon, one more thing." It was… Stepan? I did not expect him to even pay attention to me. "It was a joke about what I said earlier. You don't need to help us clean up after the show." … I take it back, this man has no sense of humor. I nod to him and leave the room. … When I went to that place which was picked by Rando yesterday it was still empty. Rando was not here and I also noticed that everyone was avoiding that place in particular. What the hell did Rando do yesterday to make this place a "no" zone? Anyway, I take my seat… soon some pizza arrives at my table. The one who brought it was the owner, Morsh. "Here is your pizza." "But I did not order anything." "It's in the house. As a thanks for helping that kid to get out of the slope." With these words, the owner left for another table. Huh, I guess there are benefits to being a good person. And, also, people of Skin Row are more willing to help others when they are not busy stabbing each other. I guess it is true what they say, misery breeds kindness. Damn, where is that detective? The show is about to begin! As I think that I notice a couple of people entering the pizzeria. I turned to the entry, hearing white noise, predicting that it was the detective only to notice someone else with him as well. Beside the detective stood a dino woman. Huh? Who is that? An acquaintance of his? It does not take them long to notice me. Rando waves his hand at me and then proceeds to make his way to the table. The dino woman followed him. As they approached me, I noticed that the white noise became stronger. I always wondered what was that strange feeling when I was near this man… maybe I am just still afraid of him a bit. He speaks. "Hello, Anon. Nice evening, eh?" "Watsup, detective. Yup, very nice evening." I cannot help but be on guard around this man. But then he steps to the side to… seemingly present his female companion to me. "Anon, this is Dawn. Dawn, this is that young man I told you about in the Taxi, his name is Anon." "Nice to meet you, Anon." Wow, this one is unique. Not only are her colors strange and beautiful, she is also a hybrid. She kinda gives off Rosa vibes, you know, the one that makes you at ease, but at the same time makes you remember that the person in front of you can snap your spin in two like a candy bar. "Yeah, nice to meet you too, Miss Dawn." "Ah, don't be so formal, I am not some old lady. Just can call me Dawn." And she is friendly, yet I can sense some kind of edge in her. She is kinda like Fang but also feels more mature and less rough around the edges. While observing here, Rando took one of the chairs from nearby empty tables to make sure that his friend had a place to sit down. "Here, Dawn, sorry for the wait." "Why, thank you, Rando." … Are these two flirting in front of me? No, there is no way someone as strange as Rando could score a chick like tha-... You know what? I have no room to judge. I used to date Fang after all. "So, Rando, when that band that you were talking about hits the stage?" "Any minute now." "I cannot wait to see them, if they are anything like you described them to be, they have a lot of potential!" Who is this woman? I can see the excitement in her eyes at the simple prospect of seeing a music show. Almost like she has not seen one in a while. And it is not some big concert, just some everyday evening show in some random ass nowhere. While thinking that, the room has become more crowded. More and more people were entering the pizzeria and taking their seats, some even just sod at the back and waited for the show to start. "Kinda crowded today, isn't it? It feels like there are more people than even yesterday." "Oh, you didn't know, Anon? People are talking about Fang. Hell, she was even mentioned on the radio today." … When the fuck did that happen? But that is good, isn't it? That means it will be easier to advertise when she has an actual show! But somehow that revelation makes me more nervous than happy. Fuck, isn't everything happens too fast? "Relax, Anon. It is still just a small rumor. Fang is still nowhere near being popular. Right now she is just… a small wonder." I guess Rando has a point. At least the place is not overcrowded yet. After some time I finally see Fang and her band slowly coming from behind the stage and taking their positions on the stage. Fang holds her electric guitar, Stepan (weirdly) holds his bass and Dude stumbles over to his drum set and slumps on the stool behind it. Fang observed the audience for a moment and her eyes stopped at the table where we sat. She, obviously, notices that there is an extra person here, sitting beside the detective. But Fang quickly shakes off her surprise and once again looks at the crowd. After which she breathes in, gathering resolve and courage for today's show. "Poor thing…" I hear that on the other side of the table. As I turn I see Dawn looking at Fang. There is a bit of pity in her expression, but also sorrow. "She looks like she went through a lot." "Yeah…" I instinctively reply. Then I hear the music. The first song is not a happy one. It is slow, melancholic, but there are also hints of something else. A bit of hope. I notice myself tapping on the table to the beat of the music. I am not the only one, as I see people around me also enjoying the music. Some nod their head to the beat, some look at the stage without blinking, some just close their eyes and let themselves be carried away by the notes and lyrics. Hell, some even humming alongside the music. In other words, people enjoy her music. Even the owner, who for a minute forgot that he had to take orders and serve them, looks at the stage with wonder. And then the song comes to an end, there is silence in the crowd. And then, like the sound of an exploding volcano, the room erupts into the sounds of applause and cheer. It was just the first song and she was already killing it. I look at the other side of the table. Rando, as his usual weird self, observes the stage like he is about to run up there and arrest someone, while Dawn looks like… Is she assessing Fang? "Not bad for a beginner performer. She still needs more experience though. But you were right, Rando, she is quite a talent." Rando did not reply, still looking somewhere. "Rando?" "Ah? Oh, sorry, Dawn, I zoned out." "No problem, it is quite a spectacle. Reminds me of someone else…" She nudges at the Detective's side. "Only this one actually knows how to sing." "... you never let go of that karaoke night from a few years ago, don't you?" "Nope, I mean, imagine singing so bad you are asked to leave the karaoke bar." Dawn laughs at her own remark and the Detective can't do anything but smile… Is that what a couple looks like? Because this is how me and Fang operate on a normal basis. Oh fuck, don't tell me that I always was a normie. The next song starts, and then another, and then a third. And I cannot look away. This is night and day comparing her today's performance and what she was doing for the past month. There is no comparison, Fang gives it her all, maybe even more. And more importantly, while it is easy to see that she is getting tired, she is still having a good time. Man, this performance looks fun… It makes me wonder if I manage to go through the art school, earn my diploma, and actually become a professional artist… will others feel the same emotions, looking at my pictures, that I feel when I watch Fang playing? I want to believe that this is the case, it makes me want to try even harder. Not just to become an artist, but to try harder in general. It makes me feel like I have so many roads in front of me and the freedom to choose whatever path I desire… But also, there is that strange feeling at the back of my head. Like all of this is too good to be true. Everything is given to us so easily. Usually, I would discard this feeling as my old, cynical self talking, but for some reason, this feeling feels important. Like I should not let my guard down even for a second or everything we have been fighting for these few days will be ruined. I look at the Detective beside me and… I finally understand his expression, he feels exactly the same way as me. Something is brewing somewhere, and soon it will come to us, threatening our success. But for now, everything is alright. I ease up and continue watching the show… I hope for everything that is good and holy that this feeling is just a ghost and nothing bad will ever happen, but I can't count on that. Anon, be ready for everything… Maybe I should ask Shuyaku for his words of wisdom, it is never wrong to ask for advice after all. Another song starts, the show is slowly coming to an end… Just a few more minutes please, a few more minutes of this blissful peace, and then we get back to the grim reality. But I will power through it, for Fang's sake and for my own.