Summary: Question of the day: Reality Bail. One month. It is exactly the amount of time needed. You don't know why you think this way, but it is the truth. In one month there will be a crossroad which will decide the future of everything. Until then you have to hold on. Yes, SHE is coming, SHE will be your judge. Until then you are a free man. So don't waste the freedom you have left before the day of our hearing. The red velvet starts to cover this earth, her gentle hand caressing it into eternal sleep. The moment this world falls asleep you will be awakened. And you cannot do anything about it. God is coming. And she will be merciless, for it nothing but justice exists. Rest well, detective. She is coming. It feels weird to be going somewhere after such a busy day. Today I managed to land a job and attended my first class in the evening art school, and yet I do not feel tired. Well, no, I do feel tired, but not exhausted. This is a good type of tiredness. The one that makes you feel complete and content. And I cannot wait to share with Fang that feeling… That is what I want to say. But in reality, my mind is being plagued by a dilemma. I just found out that there is a certain individual named Trish who is still in town and I know where she is… That Trish was the best friend of my ex-girlfriend… She was also the worst thing that happened to me that was not me. Damn, why am I so conflicted about it? Just a moment ago I wanted to tell Fang everything, expecting her to make the decision whenever she wants to meet Trish… But… Trish was right about you. Why am I remembering that day now? Come on, Anon, Fang does not hold a grudge against you. She will not… God damn it, why is it so hard? Why do I think that if Fang meets Trish her hatred for me will be somehow reawakened? Fuck, I am making all of it about myself, it is a bad habit, Anon! Stop doing that! While mentally beating myself into submission, I finally reached my destination. Pizza Time. The pizzeria where Fang and her band play daily. I breathe in, today will be the first day when she will know full well that I am there, in the crowd. This brings me excitement, but also worry. What if I somehow fuck it up? No, calm down. Just do nothing and everything will be swell. I go inside the pizzeria and notice that today there are far more people here than usual. It was almost packed full. I can see the owner darting from table to table, taking orders and delivering them. I never saw him so energetic. What is the occasion? And then I see it, the stage, Fang and her bandmates… something is different about them. They are more confident, more harmonized and more importantly… Fang is smiling. It is still a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. The music is more upbeat and lively. I also notice one, no, the main detail that is a gamechanger. Fang holds a guitar, while Stepan plays the bass. I smile, wanting to scream in joy and a bit of pride. She really does it! First steps to greatness and I am here, beneath the warm waves of her success. If this art thing does not work out with me, at least I will know that I managed to help create something else, even if nobody will ever know it. Fang looks around the room and her eyes stop at me. Yup, she just saw me. Maybe the fact that I don't wear my shitty black sweater and, instead, I wear a green jacket makes me more recognizable in her eyes. For a second I thought I saw her smile becoming more genuine, but that's just my hope speaking I think. I also noticed her looking in some other direction and her eyes opened a bit wider. I turn to where she looks and I see a flickering silver jacket with a XIII symbol on it. Oh, I think I recognize that jacke-... Oh, it is him. The man in the jacket notices me and his face is distorted into a sadistic happiness. Oh god, I think I can hear white noise again. The man approached me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Hey, Anon. Good to see you, pal. How's the weekend?" This man was Detective Rando, the same man who was sent here by Fang's father to watch over her, and the same person who interrogated one of her friends. And this time without a police jacket. He is flashy as hell, how I or Fang did not manage to see him before is a mystery, but then again, this man has almost supernatural qualities to him. "Why are you just standing here? Come on, I found a good spot." I follow him against my will. Like my body knows that I cannot go against this person's orders. How the fuck he does it? We get to a free table surrounded by two chairs. "Had to scare off a couple of dumbasses from this place here. You better thank me later." I look at the stage again. Indeed this place was good. It had a direct line of sight to the stage, and it also made us very visible to whoever was performing. So that is why he said it was a good spot? I nod to Rando and we both sit down. We ate some pizza and had some drinks (I ordered a soft one just in case) while observing the show. It was definitely unique. After I came, it was like Fang started to put more effort than ever and play like it is her life depending on how well she plays. Her looks also changed a bit. The dark colors of her makeup remained, but it looked more alive, stylish. She looked more gothic than before. She also wears nicer clothes. Well, it is the same clothes she usually wore, but this time they looked more fresh as if somehow they are also influenced by Fang's behavior and are slowly changing alongside her. Rando sits on the opposite side of the table. He is observing the show with great attention. It is hard to determine his emotions right now. He smiles, but his eyes look sad. He appears to be erratic, yet calm. He wants to say something, yet desires to remain silent. I have never met a person like him before, a walking contradiction of his own existence. However, at one point his expression finally found its niche… It was when Fang's band began to play some classic rock songs. The moment the first notes hit, Rando's behavior changed entirely. The white noise is gone and any sort of fear has been diluted into a simple sense of worry. I noticed him humming along with the song. At one point he just closes his eyes and just sits there. I don't know what is going on inside his head, and I honestly do not wish to know. When the song finally came to an end, I noticed that the entire room fell dead silent. The band were resting before the next song. I look around and see the miraculous sight. Every single patron of the pizzeria was looking at the stage. They are waiting for the next song with great anticipation. Not a single one shows a sign of boredom or indifference. I look at Fang and notice the sense of panic in her eyes. Well, not panic, but rather a strange sensation of fear and excitement. She is a star now. Actually, maybe right now she is still a cloud of stardust that is yet to become a star, but slowly she is getting there. She breathes in and… begins to play another song. … After a few more songs I look at the time and notice that it is almost closing hour, meaning that Fang performs her last song for tonight. I look around me once more. Despite the fact that it is this late, the place is still packed to the brim, and the orders are still being served. The owner probably fucking joyous, after all, h probably never had so many customers in one day. The few last notes are finally struck and… the crowd begins to applaud. And this time it isn't out of politeness or some strange necessity. No, people truly enjoyed the show. I can see Fang practically beaming with joy seeing this. Stepan looks nervous, not knowing how to react. And Dude is… well, being Dude I guess, as he just relaxes and acts as if it is all in a day's work. After the round of applause, the band leaves the stage and the crowd begins to thin. I look at Rando who… actually, what is he doing? He sits with his eyes glued to the stage long after Fang has left it. I hear him whisper something. I think he said something like "almost there". Whatever that means. I am the first to stand up. "Alright, we better go, we need to meet Fang outside." "Right… I actually also need to talk to her, and the band. I have some news." Oh? Is it about the stage? "And I believe I want you to meet someone, Anon." What does that mean? "Believe I want you to meet someone"? Why is there uncertainty in his words, as if it depends on the person I am supposed to meet? It does not matter, for now, I just play along. "Alright then, let's blow this joint." Rando stands up from his place, and we leave the pizzeria. Outside, cold winds bite my skin. I wish I had dressed up a bit more for the weather. Rando near me takes out a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it. "Not going to offer me some?" "Why? I am not Fang. Besides, it is Killsburg. That shit will be too strong for you." Indeed it will be, I can notice the smell. It is so dense that it is surprising someone is able to breathe it in. But Rando does so without any effort. Fucking hell, this shit is potent, I get as much out of second-hand smoking as I would have gotten by simply smoking my brand. It takes Fang a solid 10 minutes, but she finally arrives, accompanied by her band. Needless to say, both are extremely surprised (and a bit pissed) that Rando is also here. Especially Stepan. "Hey, Kid… how is the snout? Keep it clean and out of questionable business?" "What are you doing here?" "Serve as a ward against scary evil monsters but just for you I make an exception." Stepan looks annoyed but, somehow, manages to let go of his anger. "Fang, are you sure we can trust this cop? I mean, you do remember he summoned me to the station!" "I know, but this detective is also eager to help us with our show. Besides, isn't it your fault for trying to smuggle the weapons?" Stepan rubs his neck. He cannot argue against that. Rando cackles, drops the cigarette butt on the ground and snuffs its flame with his boot. "Alright, freaks and losers, listen up, I have some good news. I found your band a venue." What? Already? I look at Fang and others in disbelief. They are just as surprised as I am. "I told you I can do it faster. The only thing is you need to check it out first. I scheduled a meeting to discuss the details with the owner on Thursday." "Woah, woah, slow down!" Dude is the first one to escape the pits of confusion. "First of all, where the hell is that venue located?" "I am glad you asked. It is the docks area. There is a club inside one of the abandoned warehouses. It is big, popular with young people and most importantly… Not only Skin Row types go there. You will be able to play for the biggest, most diverse crowd possible!." This is way better than expected! I thought that it would take us months to find a single place that would agree to take us in. But this man found it in two days! "However, there is a catch. The owner wants to meet you and have a talk with you… also you Anon." "Me? Why?" "The owner is a bit weird. He is not a bad person, but he wants to check out the entire party before agreeing to anything. Plus, you are the team manager, are you not?" I guess that makes sense, the owner probably just wants to be sure that the people who he is dealing with can be trusted. That is pretty normal. "What is the name of the place?" Stepan said with the most skeptical voice possible. "Bright Nights. Small family business, but a big as fuck place." I have never heard of a place like this… But if what Rando says is true, then we are in luck and have landed the best possible venue for us. Alright then… "Thursday, what time?" "18:00. You probably have to warn the Pizza Time owner that you won't be able to play that evening. Also, please, prepare yourself. This man and his team are thorough. You can still fuck it up." "Got it." "So, now that we're done with this one… I believe it is time for a bonus event today." What is he talking about? About someone who I must meet? "Hey, you can come out of there, I can see you, you know." Rando shouts in the direction behind us. I see a corner there and someone peeking out of it. They look familiar. It is a green dino, of the stegosaurus variety. Wait… It can't be. They walk out of their hiding place. They slowly approach us, and every step they make feels uncertain like this person fights an urge to run away. Finally, they step out of the shadows and I see… I see… "Stella?" Yes, it is her. Man, she did not change at all in these three years. "H-hello… Anon." She looks at me with a sad expression, constantly forcing herself to look at me… but her eyes wander to the sides as if she does not want to see me. Is she feeling guilty? That is the look of someone who did something horrible and now cannot face the consequences of their actions. "Anon, I…" She trips over her own words, trying to find a proper sentence to say. Then the tears begin to flow down her face. "Stella! Are you alright?" "... no." … It took another 10 minutes for Stella to finally calm down. Stepan and Dude, realizing her situation, gave us space. Fang, who was so surprised she temporarily lost her ability to speak, stayed with me and Stella. Rando was also around, but he took the backseat approach and just observed us from afar. When Stella finally calmed down she looked exhausted. I cannot blame her, whatever the reason, being just near me hurts her so much. Did I fuck up somewhere? Why is she here in the first place? What did Rando do to bring her here? I have so many questions right now. "Anon… I also have a lot of questions, but at this moment Stella needs us." I am brought back to reality by Fang. While her voice was stern, in her eyes I could see sadness. She worries about Stella. Damn, I also worry about Stella, I just don't know what to… "I am sorry…" I meek, silent voice escaped Stella's mouth. I turn to her. She is looking at the ground underneath her. By avoiding looking at me she gathers every bit of courage left in her just to speak with me. "Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong!" "No, I did. Or rather, I didn't do the right thing." What does that mean? "... Remember the day when Fang and her friends had a concert in Dino-Moe's? I met you backstage to read your fortune… I gave you a card, inverted hermit, and said something really stupid and cryptic. I thought I sounded cool but… In reality, I had a feeling that something was wrong." She hugs herself, shivering like a reed against the typhoon. "I knew that something was wrong between you and Fang. There was something, I could feel it. But I discarded that thought because I believed that everything would resolve itself and chose to do nothing. If I talked to you, Anon, helped you to overcome… whatever it was then you would have not disappeared like that." "Stella… why are you so upset about that? I mean, I was nothing but rude to you." "Because you are a friend… one of the few I had, even if it was for a brief moment." "I still do not get it. Why are you crying? You have done nothing wrong! I don't feel angry towards you!" "It's because… I saw you." She looks scared. "I saw you and I was terrified. You were there, right in front of me. I was ready to come out, to say hello, to apologize… and then I saw your face and…" She stays silent for a moment… then, after steeling her resolve, finally finishes what she started. "You looked like a ghost. Like you are not here. When I saw you, I was scared that you might disappear at any moment." I look at Fang. Whatever Stella said has resonated with her. She looks to the ground with an expression of defeat. She feels exactly the same about me. "What do you mean? I am here! You don't have to worry." "You are here, but also not… for a second I thought that something terrible happened to you. And then I thought of something terrifying… what if you just disappear again? This time forever." … I finally got it. While I was earnestly trying to improve myself, I still had many doubts that the plan would actually work. Somewhere, deep down, I still want to escape. When I talked to Reed, when I talked to Fang, and even right now when I talk to Stella… it can be easily seen by them. How… How do I look to other people? "Stella, please… tell me what you see when you look at me?" She looks at me for a moment, before once more looking away. "Anon, I see misery. I see suffering and infinite sadness. And to think I have put my hand in making this happen…" I am unsure of what to say. I am always hesitant even in moments like this. Why is it always so hard? Why can't it be just some simple two-choice option? Fuck! And when my mind begins to wander through those thoughts, I suddenly remember that Fang is nearby. Right, even if I am at a crossroads, she still will be here to support me. Alright, Anon, deep breaths, you can do it. "Listen, Stella, I am going to be frank, you beat yourself over nothing." "Excuse me?" "Simply speaking, you are not at fault here. Where I am and where I was going until recently, all of it was my decision. I don't know why I picked that, maybe I am a coward, maybe because I genuinely did not know where I was heading, but one thing is for certain: you are not at fault here." "But I…" "You what? Did not help me back in high school? Maybe you could have done something else, that is true, but what happened - happened. There is no denial here. You can spend the rest of your days thinking "what if" and live that fantasy, while still being assaulted by reality. This is the battle you cannot win." "..." Stella sat there, like a lonely child who was being lectured by an adult. But I cannot hold back here. Often I made mistakes by walking away from issues, time to face them head on! "Stella, yesterday I met a man who told me something very interesting. He said this: "Nobody ever gets strong without losing". You will make mistakes, but instead of wallowing in your misery, you must understand what you have done wrong and try to do better… I know I have that shadow of a bad decision still looming over me, that is what you have seen. The doubt, the pain, the fear. And like a growing pit, it is always there, growing, threatening to swallow all… but I am trying. And you should try too." Phew, that took a lot out of me. I hope I managed to reach out to Stella. I look at Fang for a moment and… She tries to smile at me. I can see that it is forced, so I force the same type of smile back. I will not pretend that everything is alright, but I will try to make it alright. I look back at Stella. "So, how about it, friends?" I reach out my hand to her. Damn, this feels awkward, but I have to be awkward for this next step. Stella looks at me in disbelief, her eyes still red from crying. She tries to reach out to me, but her movement is rigid, filled with uncertainty. I am not pushing her, it is her battle to fight. Finally, Stella overpowers her fears and insecurities and her hand meets mine. I firmly hold it in my. Her grip is weak, but certain, she wants to try to be better. "Anon… you right. I cannot change what has happened, but… I have to try to change what can happen." "See? You are stronger than you think you are. So, what will it be? Let's try to become better people together, as a team?" Stella smiles. Man, if I did not have feelings for Fang, this might have been enough to make me fall head over heels for her, but… Fang is the only one for me. The only thing I feel looking at Stella right now is joy as if I met someone I needed to meet. Stella let go of my hand and turned to Fang. "Fang… I am sorry. I made a mistake in the past and because of that you and Anon broke up. If you ever need help with anything…" "It is alright, Stella. I am just glad that you are alright." "Hehe, Fang, you changed, but somehow remained the same… Perhaps you became more honest." Fang, a bit surprised by this remark, looks to the side to hide her embersament. I cannot help but chuckle at such a sight. She shoots an angry glare at me… Man, I am so getting punched for that… Worth it though. "Still, I feel really bad about interrupting your date plans." … What? "Stella… What did you say?" "I mean, you were talking about some plans, I was too far away to hear it properly so I thought you two…" "Stella, why would we be planning any dates while being surrounded by other people?!" I screamed louder than I thought. I can see Fang slowly dying inside. Stepan and Dude who were standing rather far suddenly turned to us with surprised expressions. And Rando… well, he was trying his damn hardest not to laugh, but in a struggle, he accidentally caught a cough and was currently dying physically. Stella looked at me with panic in her eyes. "Did… did I assume wrong?" "Yes, Stella… Yes, you did." *** After 15 minutes of embarrassment and explaining to Stella what I and others were planning, we all finally were on the same page. Stella was once again embarrassed by everything that occurred, but after finding out about the concert she was ecstatic. "So you have a new band, Fang! This is great! You were so good during the Dino-moe's concert, I thought it was so unfair that nobody tried to hire you more!" "Thank you. You saying this means a lot to me." Fang was surprisingly calm while talking to Stella. For a moment I thought she would freak out, meeting her old high school friend, but Fang stood on her own pretty well! "I wish I could help you, but…" "I know Stella. Do not worry, we got this! We will be able to make it happen somehow." "Actually…" Alright, time to tell Fang what happened to me today. "I may have found someone who is willing to help us with our stage set-up." Fang turned to me, surprised yet happy. "Really! When did you manage to find someone? I thought you had a job interview today!" "Well, let's just say I met someone at my new workplace who wants to help… You know them well enough, Fang." Fang puzzled, she digs through her memory, thinking of who I am talking about… then her eyes widen up. She looks like she is about to panic. "Wait, don't tell me you met…" "Yes, I met Reed." When I said that, all notions of confidence that Fang had a moment before dissolved into a full-blown panic attack… or at least something resembling it. "A-Anon… we can't… not now, I am still a… I am still a nobody." "Fang! One, you are not a nobody, two, Reed wants to meet you… he does not hold a grudge against you." Fang looks at me with disbelief, like she hears the biggest lie ever said, and yet she knows that I am telling the truth. "Why? Why does he want to meet me? I…" "Because Reed is Reed. You know him." "Yeah… yeah I know him. He was always like that. Accepting to everyone…" Fang sighs, calming down from a potentially mind-shattering panic attack. "I do not mind if he wants to help us, I just need to prepare myself to meet him." "You can do it, Fang." Stella steps in. "I do not need my cards to predict what is going to happen. You can do it and Reed will be welcoming you back as a friend. He does not hate you, but he sure misses you… I mean, I can understand how he feels… You can do it, Fang. Anon and I are here for you if anything happens." "... Thank you two," Well, now I have my doubts again. Should I tell Fang about Trish as well? Maybe later, she needs to recover from the revelation about Reed… Actually, talking about old friends. "Stella?" "Yes, Anon?" "Can I ask you something? What happened to Rosa?" Stella looks at me and then away. I can sense Fang worrying too. "Rosa and I… Well, we still talk from time to time, but… I wish we were as close as we were back in school." "Is she in town?" "Yes. Studying in the local community college while working part-time in a flower shop in the center of the city." "Well, glad to hear that at least a few of us are not stuck here in Skin Row… Actually, mind if I ask you… Why are you here? Didn't you go to a college outside the city?" Fang said… Well, it is a revelation for me. I mean, I don't know how smart Stella is, but she does look like a nerd type, so maybe she really was good at studying. If that is the case, then I am with Fang, why is Stella here, in Volcadera Bluff? When she heard Fang's question, Stella had only one thing to say… "I… I don't want to talk about it." When she said that, I felt an incredible sense of kinship. I get it. Something that happened here in college is the same thing that happened to me at Rock Bottom. Something that made me leave my old life behind and move here when I was a stupid teenager. I put my hand on Fang's shoulder and shook my head slowly. It is better not to ask questions any further for now. "It is alright, Stella. You can tell us when you are ready, but for now, if you feel uncomfortable, let us drop the topic… Instead of talking about the past, let us talk about the future. Stella, I might have a job for you." "W-what is it, Anon? I mean, I am not really good at anything, but if I can help…" "From what you told us, it seems you work at some chain convenience store, right? How many customers do you have a day?" "Well, not a lot, but we do have days when a lot of people come to buy something." "Good. Stella, can we use the store you work at for advertisement purposes?" "Oh? Oh! Yes, yes we can!" I can already see gears turning inside Stella's head. However, Fang stepped in with an obvious question. "Slow down there you two, are you sure you are allowed to do it? Will your boss allow us to advertise from your store?" "I think of something better! I know the owner of the chain, he is a good family friend. In fact, he is the reason why I have my job in the first place… I believe if I talk to him, I can get him to advertise your concept from all the stores of our chain!" "That would be fantastic, Stella, but don't push yourself too hard." "I want to help, Fang. And this is the only thing I can do. Do not worry, it is not hard for me. Besides, if you are successful and get more concerts, maybe my boss will even invest money into your endeavors. He is the type like that." If that is to happen and we get our first sponsor/investor this early on, then we would be golden, especially if it is someone Stella can vouch for. "Alright, Stella, that is a plan! I will contact you as soon as we get any details about the next concert… can I have your contact?" Without hesitation, Stella gave me her contact details. I look at my list, I can see the names of Reed, Fang and now Stella. Looking at it, a dumb smile forms on my face. Am I really doing it? Getting it all back? A few days ago I would have thought that it would be impossible, but… Am I really able to change myself? My thoughts are interrupted by Rando, suddenly approaching our circle. "Alright, alright, I can see you got yourself an advertisement agent, that is all cool… but have you seen the clock?" I look at my phone. Eesh, it is almost 11 pm. If we don't go home soon, we could get in some serious trouble. I look at Fang. "It is late… Should I call a Taxi for you?" "A bit late for that. Don't you know that even that Monarch dude does not drive around Skin Row after 11 pm?" "Really?" "He once said that some guy tried to nack his tires while he was still inside the car. He will not take the risk." "Then what should we do… Stella?" "I have a bike." Does Stella own a bike? I never thought of her as a biker type… wait. "Don't you worry that someone will steal it?" "Don't worry. My boss has put some strange logo on it, and after that, nobody ever even gets near it." Strange logo, huh? Is her boss in some gang? Would not be surprising considering our boy Stepan runs with some group known as Neighbor Union. The detective was intrigued by such a revelation. "What kind of logo are we talking about?" "White star and two rifles. I don't know what that means, but people react strangely to it." When the Detective heard that, his demeanor changed, like some switch was triggered within his mind. He approached Stella, making her a bit uncomfortable. "Interesting… Mind if you tell me about your boss a bit more in detail?" "H-huh? W-what do you mean? "The name. I need the name." His voice sounds soft, yet demanding. The contrast makes your soul freeze in fear. "N-Nikolas Belyakov… He-he is the owner of the Primus chain here in Volcadera Bluffs." After hearing that, Rando looked both surprised, but also glad. Like some mountain fell off his shoulders. He eases down with his stare and backs off from Stella. "Thank you for your cooperation, Miss Stella. You do not realize how much it has helped me." "Your… you're welcome?" What was this about? Maybe it has something to do with his detective job. Wait, why does "two rifles and the star" sound familiar? Ah, nevermind, as long as Rando stops harassing Stella, I am all good. "Detective, stop scaring Stella." Fang stepped in. "What? Relax, she is not in trouble, she just has very interesting connections! Do not worry, she is in no trouble." The detective pulled out his phone and was typing something down. Huh, is this phone different from the one I saw before? This one appears to be old and… Some wires stick out of it. When Rando finished typing everything he wanted down, he hid his phone back into his pocket and turned to us. "I need to go, work awaits." "... at 11 pm?" "Justice never sleeps, as well as the wicked. See you on Thursday." He waves to us and walks away. What a strange individual he is. I turn back to Stella and Fang. "Stella, can you drive Fang back home? She lives a lot further than I and…" "Oh, it is not happening, tough guy." Fang interrupts me. "Fang?" "You, walking on the streets of Skin Row, alone… at night? I did not save your life just so you could get stabbed in some random alleyway." A smug smirk appears on Fang's face. Well, who's fault is that I do not have a weapon? "I will accompany you to your apartment. Just to make sure you are safe." "Fang… and what then?" "Well, if I can't go anywhere, I guess I'll just spend the night there. Oh, don't act flustered on me now, like you did not spend the other night at my apartment." "Fang, you have a bedroom and a living room. My bedroom IS the living room." What is Fang thinking? Is she really that much worried about me? "Fang, I can just drive there alongside you and then pick you up…" "Ah, no no, Stella, I do not want to inconvenience you." … Did Fang just winked at Stella? Stella at first acted confused and then… winked back. What is going on? "Ah, actually, now that I remember, the thin is almost out of gas. I'll probably run out of it and will be stuck in the middle of Skin Row with no way back home. I am sorry, Fang, I guess I can't drive you home." … Are they colluding? It feels like collusion. "Ah, no problem, Stella. Everything is fine. I guess I have to stay with Anon for a night. Oh, the horror." I hate these two right now… *** Rando : Oi, Skink, you slippery bastard. You will never guess what I just heard! Skink : Rando, it is 11 pm. Rando : Oh, come on, I know you only sleep like 2 hours a day. Skink : Hrrgh, alright, what is it? Rando : First of all, let me ask this: are you still having trouble scheduling a meeting with Neighbor Union elites? Skink : As much as it hurts my pride, yes. They are one secretive organization. Almost nobody from their group knows each other's real names. They all use code names and aliases. Feels like I am in the jungle again. Rando : Well, I have some good news for you. Look up Nikolas Blyakov. Skink : The owner of Primus convenience store chain? Why? Rando : You will never guess who rides around the town with Union's stamp slapped on their vehicles. Skink : You think he is up there in their ranks? Rando : Moderately wealthy, has connections AND is concerned about this town? I mean, if that is true then I don't see why not. Skink : … I will look him up. If your hunch is true, I probably will be able to schedule that meeting sooner. Rando : Good. Talk to you later… have to make sure that two idiots won't encounter any problems on the street… Discretely of course. Skink : … Whatever, don't get yourself killed out there. Rando : No promises are made. *** After finally convincing Anon that I should stay at his apartment tonight, we said our goodbyes to my band and Stella. After that, me and Anon started walking towards his house. The streets slowly become more and more familiar, reminding me of the days we spent together at his place. After some time of silence, I notice that Anon has this expression of uncomfortability. At first, I thought he was just embarrassed that I was visiting his home (he should) but then it hit me… He thinks of something very difficult. I give him a light tap on the shoulder. "What are you thinking about?" He jumps a bit, but as soon as he sees me, he is yet again deep in his thoughts. When he is like that he usually mumbles, but right now I can see him concentrating all of his will not to spill the beans. Meaning, he thinks about something he does not want me to hear. "Is it about Reed?" "What? Ah, yeah, kinda like that…" What does it mean, I wonder? Maybe he hides something from me because I reacted so poorly when he talked about Reed? I mean, it is quite obvious, I did not take it too well. It's just that when he mentioned Reed I just… blacked out I guess, it was hard to breathe and I was scared. I don't want him to hate me, yet I believe he has every right to. Why do I want others to hate me so much? Am I some closeted masochist? Or do I just hate myself this much? Damn it, I should stop thinking like that, especially when Anon is nearby. Who, by the way, looked like he was gathering all of his courage for… something. Finally, he sighs and turns to me. "Fang, I have something to tell you." He looks… strange. Serious, yet scared. I can see him tensing a bit, preparing to act if necessary. Whatever he is about to tell me, I know it is going to suck. "Yes, Anon?" I prepared myself, steeled my nerves, and collected all of my will. And then, what he says next shatters all of that willpower into a million small pieces. "... I know where Trish is." He what? "I mean, I did not meet her, I just got a clue from one of my teachers at school. The way they described them and talked about them… It is definitely Trish." No. No, no, no. It can't be. "Fang… Are you alright?" I don't know. Where am I right now? What is going on? What it… "Fang?!" I am returned to reality by two strong hands gripping my shoulders. In front of me stands Anon. Right, I am here with him… "Sorry, Anon, I don't know what got over me." "It's okay, Fang. You are just worrying too much, that is all. I don't say that you have to meet her, all I say is that I know where she is." Right, it is not like she is going to pop out of nowhere… But even so, what if I do meet her, what will I say… Will she listen to me? Or will she, once again, take control over my own decision, make me say awful things to others, hurt people for some stupid selfish reasons? I look at Anon again… The single line plays on repeat in my head. The line that almost ended everything… "Trish was right about you". "Anon, I am sorry…" "About what?" "It's… Nothing, I just felt like I needed to say that." "It is fine, I do not hold a grudge against you. Hell, how could I? You never did anything wrong." It is a lie and I know it. He does not want to acknowledge it, but I did so many wrong things, and my body signifies so. My shaven head, my tattoos, my everything. I am a walking failure of a person… But, even now, he is near me. Anon. His hands still hold my shoulders. His grip is strong. Right, he went to the Navy, he is not the same scrawny teen he was three years ago. Right now in front of me stands a reliable and loyal man. He always was like that, but now his devotion to me is even stronger than before. I lean in forward into his chest, allowing me to be as close to him as possible. "Fang?" "Just for a moment, can you hold me?" When I said that, I could see that he was hesitant, but the next moment his hands wrapped around my body. It feels nice. I know I do not deserve this, but I do not care, I just want to be near him at this moment. To feel his heartbeat, to feel the warmth of his body. I was longing for it for so many months, regretting us breaking apart over a stupid argument. I need to hear it, I need to hear him say this… "Anon, please, never leave me again…" "I won't, don't worry. I made that mistake once, I will never make it again." We stood like that for as long as I felt needed. The cold winds flow around us, the night, starless sky covers our world and the lumming of old street lamps penetrates the silence of the night. This is… beyond perfect. If only this moment could last an eternity. But like everything good, it too must come to an end. Anon pulls me away, I can see his face once more and… I can see how hard he tried to hold back the tears for me. "Well, right…" He rubs his eyes, what a dork. "It is quite late. We should not be outside like this. My house is around the corner." His awkward behavior is adorable. I smile at him, without any hint of malice or mischief. I nod to him and we slowly walk to a very familiar building. The same building I've been passing by every weekend to look at his window, wondering "What if". I cannot believe that I am about to enter that place once more. "Here, it is open." He holds the door for me and we enter the building. Soon, I am in front of that door. The one that leads to his place. To the moment in time when I used to be so happy. After Anon played with the lock a bit, the door to the past opened and I stepped inside… But I am not washed away by the waves of nostalgic happy memories, no, instead sadness washed over me. This place is still the same as it used to be back when I was in high school… But somehow it feels different. It is cleaner than before, perhaps too clean. Almost as if nobody lives here. I look at Anon. "Welcome to my abode… again." He locks the door behind us. What should I say to make this heavy feeling go away… "This place looks different…" "You think? It is pretty much the same. Well, except that it has a bit less stuff in it." The shelves are empty, on the table there is only Anon's computer. One old console connected to the TV with a small collection of games being stacked near it in a neat column. The bed has no covers on it, there are no rugs, no stuff lying around. This place feels like a tomb. Anon places some pizza leftovers he received from me after our performance in the fridge and then returns back to me. "A bit stale here… the air I mean." He walks to the window and opens it slightly, allowing the street air to invade this place. After which he sits down on his bed. I sat beside him. For a solid 5 minutes, nothing is said. Neither I nor Anon can gather enough courage or will to say anything. Then, Anon finally breaks the silence. "So, what is our plan? I do not feel like sleeping right now… How about… Maybe some movies? I can stream them on my phone…" "Anon, it is fine, let's just talk. First of all… how is your day?" I try to make this conversation as casual as possible. He needs it, the moment of normality, the moment that makes him think that everything will be okay. At first, he did not want to talk about anything, trying to convince me to spend more time in silence either eating or watching some videos online, but after I made it clear that I wanted to talk to him he finally gave up trying to deflect. He told me everything. How he met some gal named Tracy who hired him to work in the diner, how he met Reed there, his first day at school, how one of his teachers told him about Trish. He told me everything. And while at times it was difficult to listen to because of my own issues, I stood my ground. Finally, Anon talked about today's evening events, how he watched our performance, how we were rocking it, and how the crowd seemed like it was enjoying our music. When he was saying all of that I could not help but smile. He sounded so happy about my success as if it was his own. Finally, he finished telling me the story of today and the room was silent once more. Now it is my turn. "So, you got yourself a job and, from what you said, was killing it at school. You are doing great, Anon." "Thanks, but it is only the beginning. I am planning to do even better. Meeting Stella today made me finally realize how much work is ahead of me… I cannot stop now, you know?" "I understand. But still, I am happy to know that you are trying." He is smiling, which means I've done good. "Well, now that we caught up with today's event… How about a movie? I have a massive discount on everything because of my service, so our selection is a bit more broad than before." "That does not sound bad… Sharing this small screen, however." "Yeah, I guess that would be a bit uncomfortable." "I guess I have to sit as close to you as possible for this one, heh." "... Oh." Anon managed to set up his phone in such a way that we both could see the screen and neither of us needed to hold it. We were just sitting in bed, watching some dumb show about people who do nothing. I think it is supposed to be a comedy, but none of the jokes land for me. But, watching it alongside Anon made the experience so much better. We sat there for maybe an hour until I noticed that Anon had fallen asleep. He looks exhausted, I mean, this day for him was very busy and stressful. So much has happened today, no wonder he couldn't prevent himself from falling asleep… "I do not feel like sleeping right now", he said. I guess he just wanted to spend more time with me. I gently help him to lie down on the bed and then take a look around his apartment once more. It is so barren here, almost nothing is here. My eyes laid on his table where I noticed his journal lying. I opened it… he has been keeping it since the day we met. I want to open it, to read what new entries he put in… But I won't do that. I trust him telling the truth. I do not need to sneak peek into his diary. I look away from the journal and notice a strange structure on the table made out of a box. Inside of it, I notice a small mechanical thing standing on some strange platform… Is this RAYmba? He… he held on to it since that day? Is it still operational? I walk to the kitchen to find an open box of cereal, take a couple of pieces and bring them back to the table, dropping them in front of RAYmba, who then proceeds to activate and in a second sucks in the cereal pieces like nothing. It still works. A smile appears on my face. "Long time no see, little one." I sit behind the table and lay myself on it, in a way that I can still see and observe little rumba. Finally, I allow myself to be swept away by memories. Warm and happy ones. The day we confessed to each other, the day when I was brave enough to speak earnestly. The day when I was planning our future together, thinking of silly, naive things like… I dunno, I feel like I was a dumb kid, but… I wondered if we would ever get married. Back then I discarded those thoughts, being a dumb rebel, but now I wonder again… If I ever deserve to be with him again, will our life be just like I imagined? Me, being a great star, him being at peace, having kids, reuniting with my parents and Naser. Such silly thoughts really, and yet now they feel like the most important ones. I can do it, I will do it. I will become the greatest musician, I will let the people know that I am here. And when I finally make my mark, I'll step down the stage, right into his arms. Such a wondrous thought… I didn't even notice how I fell asleep, giving the opportunity for my thoughts to manifest as my dreams. *** Once again you are reading through the autopsy report, trying to find inconsistencies and lead, and yet again you come out of your thoughts with nothing. There is nothing they can do, the information here is too bare, too sterile. You cannot possibly piece the picture together with just that. THE SHARDS ARE THERE, THERE ARE JUST A FEW PIECES MISSING. THE REASON FOR SUCH VIOLENCE, THE MONSTROUS SECRET HIDDEN BENEATH THE PILE OF ROTTING FLESH. It is the stench of conspiracy, can't you see that…? The world does not tell you its secrets, because if it tells you your life will be in danger! Brother, you need to meet those bastards from Neighbor Union, mingle with them a bit, maybe the picture will become clear as a result. You stand up from your couch and look at the time. It has been two hours since you came back from tailing Anon and Fang to ensure their safe travel. You've seen something unsettling. Like a deja vu. Memories from the distant days, and the promises. You made such theatrics, to ensure that your world remains as beautiful as it should be. YOUR NECK HURTS. THE JOINTS IN YOUR SPINE TINGLE WITH NUMBNESS AND YOU HAVE SOME TROUBLE BREATHING. MOUTH. THROAT. LUNGS AND OUT. "Damn, I need something to drink." Your fringe is free of any alcoholic beverage. You never keep alcohol at home, too much risk of doing that. Instead, you look at the clock. It is 1:30 am. Too late for you to sleep, but not too late to run for it. You grab your jacket and walk out of your front door. Making your way downstairs you meet and hear nobody. The town sleeps, the only things that are awake are monsters and bastards. This includes you. You make your way out of the building. The cold air bites your fingers and it is hard to breathe, as icy air hurts your lungs. It feels like it should be snowing, but it never snows here, in Volcadera Bluff. You begin to walk, towards any place that has light in it. Light, brother, means the place is still open. Very few places are open at this hour, but these places are worth visiting. The streets are quiet, filled with ghosts and signs of the ancient life of yesterday. Nobody walks the streets of Skin Row at night. However, it makes it easier to navigate. It feels like you are one with the city, you start to feel its touch, its breath. You can hear its heartbeat, deep beneath the earth. What a beautiful place, even here, on Skin Row. Suddenly, the urge to drown yourself in alcohol disappears, leaving behind only the taste of melancholy and pain. You find a quiet corner on some random street where you notice a lonely bench. In summer, when it is hot, usually all the benches are occupied by the less fortunate, but in winter these people try to find shelters where they won't freeze to death at night. This bench is a seasonal event. You make sure that it is clean and then sit on it. You look up, into the starless skies, pondering over everything that happened. Why do you feel this way? Just a few hours ago you felt yourself the usual and now you feel… empty. Like something is missing. This feeling came to you when you were observing Fang and Anon when you saw their moment of vulnerability… It reminded you of your past, of the day when SHE was with you. You take out your flip phone and open it. You scroll through the list of contacts until you reach the one you've been searching for. Dawn. Dawn, now it does not sound as scary as it used to, you can look at that name without panic grasping your heart and without the phone slipping through your fingers. You wonder if you should call it… and decide not to. It is already this late, she is probably asleep, somewhere in the warm bed, away from you, happy that you are no longer there to torture her with… with yourself. You close the phone and hide it in your jacket. What should you do now? It feels like nothing matters right now. Not the case, not the idiots, not Ripley. It feels like you can just melt away and nothing will change. And worst of all, you can't sleep it off, your body is probably still high on sugars from the alcohol you had earlier. You decided to be fancy today and bought some wine. And now it is what keeps you awake. You wish for something to happen, but nothing happens. Of course, nothing happens, what are you expecting? For the world to find you? You are not that important. "... Fuck it." You pick yourself up from the bench and begin to walk even further away from your house. You walk for an unknown amount of time, you don't care to check. The tiredness never comes. On your way, you encounter a few people, mostly unlucky ones who couldn't find shelter before too late and now are forced to keep themselves awake and moving to avoid the worst end. You also keep moving, until you reach the edge of Skin Row. This is it, the wall that separates the filth from dirt… the wall is of course metaphorical. You walk alongside the border, where the wind blows until you come upon a small hotel. The lights inside are on. Wait… is this place is… On the very edge of Skin Row, there is a small hotel, that once belonged to a married couple whose love after years of entropy and struggle has ceased. They remained together mostly out of habit and fear of change. This couple had a child, a lonely girl who grew up hating the world around herself. She once met a boy, who in equal measure loved the world he was living in. Seeing him struggle but keep smiling into the face of the unknown has filled the girl's heart with confidence and newfound hope. But all of that one day was shattered. Reduced to zero where she came from. Now she is here, in the same hotel she grew up in. The place that she hated, the place that even now was grinding her soul into nothingness. One day she was staying up late, cleaning up behind a very rude and messy family. As she was finishing the rounds she looked out of the window, only to see a shadowy figure standing outside. At first, she pays no attention to it… until she sees the silver glimmer of its jacket. This was the moment when her heart once again experienced fear that she had long forgotten. She runs down the stairs and grabs the nearest coat, before running outside, to where the shadowy figure stands… He could see her running across the street. No, no, no, this is all wrong! Move damn it, walk away, you coward! She will find us even if we run… she will break us even further… [She will not break us, but you should move before she calls the police! What are you, her stalker? You know she made it clear many, many times before that she does not want to see you?] YOU HEART BEATS FASTER THAN EVER BEFORE. FEW MORE BEATS PER MINUTE AND YOU WILL DEFINITELY PERSIH. BRAIN. LUNGS. LIVER. HEART. And yet… you don't want to move. Like a deer standing in place, looking at the headlights of a fast-approaching car, you act as if you are unaware of what is about to happen. Sire, you want her to catch you. There is no need to run, darling… she will not hurt you, and even when it will hurt, this pain will be better than nothing. Before you can reach any decision, the girl finally reaches your position. You think "the girl" but in front of you stands a 32 year old hybrid. You can see clear signs of dracorex type (rough scales, spikes on her head, signs of the herbivore) and of Tarbosaurus (highly dense muscles, sharp teeth, small spinal spikes). Her scales are pale blue, and there is a purple pattern of spots that start at her head and go down her neck. Her hair is black and straight. Her eyes are like two amethysts, deep purple. She has a tail with spikes on it, which completely breaks the pattern of previously established facts of her hybrid origin- sir, why are we doing this? This is the only way he can cope with it… by reducing reality to simple facts, unsupported by any feelings and attachments. To make it as professional as possible… But being professional is impossible in her presence. Even in these baggy clothes, bring colors and an unkempt appearance, she is as beautiful as the day she left you, darling. Ohohoho, oh no, cupcake, you are not weaseling out of this one? She left you? Is that how you really see it? Come on, you bloody idiot… THE SMELL OF IRON, THE TASTE OF METAL… THE BARREL OF THE GUN. The cackling one, the one without the head is awake once more. That's right, baby, I am here once more. Do you really see yourself as the one who was left behind? What a bunch of nonsense, don't be an idiot, I did not teach one. She would never have left you, she tried her best to keep you together… Ohoho, no darling, she was not the one that left… You are the one who abandoned her. You feel sick, and you want to fall, but your body, solid as concrete, refuses to fall. "The girl" looks at you, panic in her eyes, she desperately tries to come up with the right words, her mouth opens several times, but closes with no noise escaping it. And then something happened… her expression stood solid as she was looking at you… what is going on? Suddenly, you notice that your face is wet, your vision is blurry and your mind is scattered. You cannot believe what you see before yourself… no way it is her. She would never… she would never run outside into the cold for your sake. No, she should remain there, in the warmth of her house, and when she sees you, lock every door, barricade every window and hope that the monstrosity that is you will lose its interest and walk away. But she is here, looking at you, despair in her eyes. Not because she is here, but because you are out there, in the cold, alone. She pities you. You need to say something. Cleaning tears off your eyes with the sleeve of your jacket you look at her once more, trying to smile as hard as possible. But the smile wears thin, the mask slips. Quick, say something to her, before the mask completely falls! "... Hello, Dawn…" With this, your willpower reserves run dry and the swirl of emotions begins to tear apart you from inside. Dawn, noticing this, cannot think of anything better but… she hugs you. Hugs you as tight as possible. It is a bit painful, but it feels nice and warm. It feels like if you were to die right now, you would not have any regret. Then she lets you go. She looks into your eyes and says something you always wanted to hear her say. "Hello, Rando. I missed you." And with these words, you lose sight of yourself and fall onto the ground. You really are a mess, aren't ya, kid? I will remember that.