Trish rubs her eyes and groans. “Did you have to yell that in my ear, Reed? My head is fucking spinning.” She struggles to focus on Reed and me with her eyelids only half open, a faint glimmer returning to her eyes.

Reed huffs as he sputters out a few words before figuring out how to speak again. “The fuck, bro! You are damn right I had to yell that! You show up out of nowhere…we haven’t talked in over a month and then you are puking blood everywhere!” His tone is equal parts angry and unbelievably relieved as he takes her hand in his.

She groans as she rubs her head. “Please, Reed…lower the volume or you are going to give me a splitting headache on top of everything else going wrong with me right fucking now.”

He sighs. “Fine. But you need to start talking. Why the hell did you do this to yourself?” He gestures to all her scars crisscrossing her body. “I mean, we could have made up eventually…we all just needed some time.”

Trish looks over at me, mist in her eyes as she stares at me silently for a moment before turning back to Reed. “Do you even need to ask that question?”

“Uh, yeah bro, I do. I don’t get it. Things were bad, but it wasn’t over.”

She grits her teeth as tears slowly begin to fall. “It wasn’t over for you, maybe!” she says in a hoarse attempt at a yell as she grips the sheets. “I lost my best friend. I lost my band. I lost every dream I had and I lost you.” Her lip trembles as she gazes at Reed. “All of it was my fault and I had no one to blame but myself. Everyone at the school treated me like a fucking plague and they were right to!”

Reed tries to speak but she shakes her head. “Let me talk, Reed…I need to say this, all of this.” She turns her head to look at me again, regret-filled eyes peering into mine. “Fang, I’m so sorry. I ruined your fucking life and I nearly killed you. Back before I got it in my head that the non-binary stuff was who you were inside, you used to be so different. You were confident and strong and so many people at school loved to be around you.” She smiles weakly as she takes my hand in hers. “You used to wear such colorful dresses and the coolest fucking leather jacket and pants combos. You were headed for the top of your class and then I fucking ruined it!”

“Trish, no it’s not—” I try to say, and she shakes her head again.

“No, it is! I pushed that persona on you. The punk rocker bitch who didn’t give a fucking damn what anyone thought. I made you act like such an asshole to people for no reason and you did it because you believed that I knew what I was doing! That my whole plan would have made it so people would love your music and see how awesome you were. But you already were awesome!” Her tears pour down her face as she lets go of our hands to cover her eyes. “It was me who ruined that. You could have gone through all of high school being the badass you already were but, in a moment when you were doubting yourself, I swooped in and fucked it all up.” She chokes back a few sobs before she continues, “It was all me. I led you to losing all your other friends at school, I drove a wedge between you and your family, I tried to ruin your relationship with Anon because I was fucking jealous, and I nearly got you killed!”

Her sobs grow louder as she lets out everything she’s kept inside. Her regret pours from her in a way I’ve never seen. She was always so tough, always so sure of herself. Now I can see she was trying so hard to pull the pieces together but just kept breaking them further. She thought she knew everything…now she knows she was never in control.

She sniffles and hiccups as she pushes through her tears to speak. “It was never Anon’s fault you almost killed yourself. It was me. I pushed that prom night fucking concert on you. I made you think that was our last chance, so you’d be desperate and willing to do anything to make it work. I watched as you panicked and wrote up ideas and plans while I did nothing. You were falling apart at the seams—all the things I built up for you coming crashing down—and still I pushed you to do more. When it all collapsed and you shot yourself, what did I do? I didn’t even go to see you! I was too fucking focused on fixing the disaster that I blamed everyone else for!” She stops abruptly and her next words come out in a strangled whisper, “It was me…I did it. I put the gun in your hands, and I pulled the trigger.”

I can’t find the words to say as tears streak down my face. All the pain she’s been carrying, all alone, I know it all so well. I don’t say anything as she reaches out for me and I take her hand.

“I almost killed my best friend and then I blew it off like it was nothing. I was too scared to face the fact that if I hadn’t done what I did, you would have had a great life…without me.”

Anon stands beside me, holding me close to him as the weight of everything she says hits me. She turns to look at him with a pained frown on her lips. “Fuck, Anon. The shit I put you through. The fact that I kept twisting Fang around my finger to the point she was willing to blame you for what I did…to you! God, I dug up all that shit from your past and blasted it across the whole school and she thought you needed to say sorry to me. You didn’t deserve anything I did to you, Anon. I’m so sorry I was such a piece of shit to you…you are everything I’m not. A good person, a good friend, and the best partner Fang has ever had.”

“Trish…” Anon speaks with a hushed tone. “Trish, I know why you were so eager to throw me under the bus. You thought I was stealing Fang from you. The only constant in your life was Fang and then I show up out of nowhere. You felt like you were being shoved aside. I could have done better to not have been such a bastard to you as well. Fuck, in the office I could have said something to you but I left you to wallow in misery like a prick.” He sighs as he leans against me. “I never would have taken Fang from you, Trish. I just wanted to be a part of her life, just like you.”

Trish chokes up as she tries to speak, gulping down the knot in her throat. “I know that now, Anon. I just wish I hadn’t fucked up so much. I lost every friend I had and I deserved to.” She looks over to Reed, who is beside himself as he struggles to hold back his tears. “Reed…I meant what I said on that beach. I loved you and I still do. I sucked at showing it and I never just let my feelings be known…just kept hoping you’d notice.”

Reed chuckles weakly with a grin. “Don’t worry about it, bro. I’m the only idiot who didn’t notice anyway. Even Naser picked up on what you were doing. But why, Trish? Why didn’t you talk to us about any of this?”

“Because I deserved every bit of hate you said at school that day, when I blew off Fang’s suicide attempt and tried to pull her right back into my plans. I deserved to be alone, I deserved to be hated by the school, and I certainly didn’t deserve you…” Her teeth grind together as she pushes on. “I deserved to die for what I did! All the pain I caused…and I didn’t even see it until everything was taken from me. You should have just let me die on that beach like the piece of sh—”

I reach back and slap her across the face, cutting her off as everyone stares at me. I stand there breathing heavily as a fierce scowl burns on my face and I glare down at her. “Don’t you ever fucking say that again!” Trish holds her cheek as she stares back at me in shock. I squeeze back the tears as I speak, “Trish, you don’t deserve to die! You don’t deserve to suffer like you did. You made a mistake, but it wasn’t worth your life!” My scowl fades as I crawl onto the bed beside her, pulling her up into a hug and resting my cheek against hers. “You were my best friend…we practically grew up together. You were like a sister to me. I never would have wanted you dead in a million years…no matter what.”

Trish trembles in my arms as she slowly brings her arms around my back and presses me against her. “How…how can you still care about me after what I did to you?” She sniffles. “I almost got you killed.”

I sigh as I nuzzle my cheek against hers. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t let you do, Trish. I trusted your plan; it sounded like a really good idea at the time, and I still had no idea who I was, just jumping between whatever felt good…and the non-binarism seemed so right.” I lean away from her and shake my head. “But it wasn’t me and I should have known better. You still made mistakes—trying to keep me locked down in your plan—but I could have said no at any time and didn’t. While what you did was wrong, I can at least see the reasoning behind it now. You just wanted to be important to someone…and you didn’t want to lose me.”

Tears stream down her face and she quakes as all composure leaves her and she pulls me back into her arms, sobbing wildly. She had done wrong, she held on too tight and became blind to what was in front of her, thinking she was about to lose it all. Through her actions she almost did, but everyone deserves a second chance and if this night proves anything, she desperately deserves one. I hold her gently as she breaks apart in my arms. All the regret spills from her as she cries, each sob as painful as the one before.

A few minutes pass before she calms down and sighs, falling back onto her pillow, completely spent. “Goddammit, Fang. I’m still sorry for how much of a piece of shit I was being. I really hope I can make it up to you…I still need to earn your trust again after all this.”

I get up from the bed and stand beside Anon as I sigh with a nod. “I accept your apology but yes, it will be some time before I know I could completely trust you again. But I am willing to give you a chance. Just promise me you’ll never do something this fucking stupid ever again.”

She chuckles weakly as she gives me a shaky thumbs up. “I promise. This was a one-time stupid decision I’ll never make again. Thank you for letting me try again. I promise to be a better friend to you, just like we were before.”

A tender smile grows on my beak as I nod to her again. “I’m glad to hear it, Trish. I want the old us back, too.”

Trish tilts her head toward Reed again, who still looks like he’s about to collapse at any moment. “Reed…I’m sorry. I pulled you along for a lot of my schemes and I never once appreciated you as much as I should have. I’ll understand if you never want to see me again after this, and…and…” Her tears return as she chokes up. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to give us a chance to be something more than friends.”

Reed doesn’t say anything at first. He quietly looks into Trish’s eyes, his own lilac-colored eyes locked onto hers as he stands beside her. Without a word, he steps as close to her hospital bed as possible and takes her hands before lowering his head down to hers. Trish looks like she’s about to say something but before she can, Reed locks his lips with hers. I gasp and hear a chuckle from Anon as Reed releases her hands and slips his arms around Trish, gently holding her. The surprise melts from Trish’s eyes as they slowly close and she puts her hands on his cheeks. I can tell how badly she has wanted this just from the smile in the corner of her mouth as she pulls him closer. I guess she doesn’t have to worry about a thing…Reed likes her just as much as she likes him.

Their kiss lasts for a little while longer before he pulls away from her with a smile. “I wouldn’t mind giving it a try, bro.” She chuckles as they both blush. “While I’m still pretty mad about all this stuff between Fang and the band, and you trying to kill yourself…I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wondered if there was more between us.” Trish’s eyes shimmer with tears of joy as she turns her head to the side and presses against his chest. “We’ve got a lot of work to do to get past all this crap, but I’m willing to give it a go if you are.”

Trish’s smile only grows as she rubs her cheek against his chest. “Thank you, Reed. I promise I’ll be better. I’ll stop with all my stupid plans, and we can just be friends again instead of me pretending I’m some business genius.”

“That’s all I can ask for, Trish. I owe you like thirty boxes of chocolate by now anyhow.” He shrugs. “Who knows…maybe we can go on an actual date somewhere instead of just bumming it at my place.”

“I mean, having a smoke at your place isn’t bad but I agree…a real date sounds nice after I’m out of here.” She sighs as her arms lock around Reed’s waist, her eyes turning toward mine. “So, you guys going to take the band on the road now that Anon doesn’t suck at the bass?” Anon perks up and tries to retort but shrugs and accepts her accurate assessment as Trish continues, “You guys rocked the graduation; I could see you guys going pretty far.”

I didn’t expect her to speak about the band at all considering she’s not really in it anymore. “We’ve talked about it. Just doing some local stuff around town while we go to college for extra spending money. Uncle Moe already wants us to play at his place again so we’ll be doing that for sure.”

Her eyes light up as she smiles. “That’s awesome! Glad to see you guys keeping the VVURM DRAMA idea alive…especially since I almost murdered the whole thing.” She mutters with a groan as she rolls her eyes at herself. “I know I can’t be in the band anymore—Anon has taken my spot and he’s doing a great job at it—but is there anything at all I can do? My art skills have been improving; it no longer looks like shit doodled by a three-year-old.”

I tap the end of my beak as I think. I mean…if the town likes us enough, we’ll probably need a manager or something like that. I look at her with a grin. “We could always use a good artist and someone with business sense to get the ball rolling if we really start getting popular…if you wanted.”

“Of course, I would love to!” She all but squeals with delight. “There are so many places around town you guys could play, and a little elbow grease is all you’d need to squeak into these venues. So much money could be made off this, I promise you.”

“Trish…” I tap my foot as I look at her with my brow furrowing.

“Sorry…sorry…I know it’s not all about the money, but you have to admit you guys looked amazing up there. There is no way you couldn’t make it big if you guys wanted to. If you don’t, that’s fine, I can easily scrape up some fun venues in town!” She taps her head and then notices the crack in her horn as she runs her finger along it. “Fuck me, I broke a horn? Goddammit, that’s going to take a while to fix.”

I wince as her finger pokes at the crack and a tiny drop of blood drips out. “Shit Trish, that looks like it hurts.”

She shrugs as she wipes the blood off. “It’s basically a giant fingernail, Fang. Bleeds a lot more than it hurts. Just means I’ll need a couple salon appointments to chip it down and sand it. I’ll need to look my best if I am going to go around representing you guys anyway.” Her hands fall to her lap as she smiles. “Thank you, guys. Thank you for saving my life and for giving me another chance. I won’t let you down this time.” She traces the cuts across her cheeks and sighs. “Man, I hope these don’t scar too bad.”

“How did you even get those, Trish?” I ask as I take her hand in mine, examining the cuts across her palm and knuckles.

“Simple answer? I clawed the shit out myself whenever the guilt got to be too much. The straight ones…well, those were razor blades. I also cut the crap out of my scalp trying to shave my hair down. It’s just a whole bunch of stupid, Fang. Let’s not focus on it too much, okay?”

I sigh as I let her hand go. “Sure. It’s not important anymore anyway.”

Trish yawns and falls back onto her pillow, smacking her lips. “Fuck me, I’m exhausted. That or the sleeping pills are still kicking my ass. I think a nap is in order. Reed, get your ass in this bed.”

He doesn’t take a second to think about it before sliding up beside her as she rests across his chest.

“Just don’t pull any of the tubes out of me and we’ll be fine. We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

“Sure, bro. I’ll be careful.” He slides an arm under her and stares at the ceiling. Naser suddenly gets up off the floor after somehow being absent for this entire conversation.

“Naser?” Trish says as she spots him. “How long have you been in here?”

“The whole time.” He shrugs. “I just figured there wasn’t really anything for me to add and I didn’t want to fuck up the moment, but my wings started cramping and I really needed to get up.” He stretches out his wings with a sigh of relief as a couple of popping noises fill the air. “Anyhoo, good conversation everyone. I’m still fucking tired so, good night.” With that, he immediately collapses back onto the pillow mattress and snores.

“Your fucking brother, I swear, Fang. Anyway, we can talk more about the band stuff and other things in the morning. Good night, guys.”

“Good night Trish.” I give her a peck on the cheek and then Anon and I rebuild a portion of the scattered mattress and plop down next to my already clocked-out brother. I curl up on my side, trying to prevent my wings from getting crushed twice in one day as I lie across Anon’s arm. After that emotional moment, my eyelids are heavy and exhaustion creeps up on me quickly. Anon is already snoring and I scoot a little closer to him as my eyes refuse to stay open anymore. Another day that could have ended in misery but instead, we found a way to move forward and those two get to try to figure things out together. With Trish’s help, maybe VVURM DRAMA won’t just be a side project after all. I smile as those thoughts cross through my mind before drifting off to sleep.