I wake up with a tired groan. I’m not looking forward to today at all. It’s Saturday and I should be practicing, but instead we are going to a family therapy session. It’s only a week before graduation and I really don’t have time for this, but I don’t have a choice. I just don’t know why we are doing this…do they really want to hear everything I have to say? I already caused so much pain when I nearly took my own life…I don’t want to hurt them more by being honest about how I’ve felt these past few years. Anon is already up, staring at the ceiling, the thoughts in his head written all over his face as he frowns with a furrowed brow.

I scoot closer to him, turning on my side and draping a wing over him as I wrap my arm around his. All the frustration in his face melts away as he turns to look at me with a smile. “Hey. Good morning, Sweet Tooth.”

I roll my eyes, shaking my head with a smirk. “Really, dweeb? You really need to think of another pet name for me before my eyes forcibly roll out of my head.”

He gives me a kiss on the tip of my snout. “Maybe someday. Right now, it’s all I’ve got and I’m gonna keep using it.” He pulls me closer as he gazes up at the ceiling again with an exhausted sigh. “You know, I thought this would just be a thing for you to do. Didn’t know I’d get pulled along for the ride by your parents.”

“I guess they just think we all need it. I suppose they are right, as much as I don’t like the idea. I know that everyone was affected by this, not just me. I’m scared. I really don’t know how they will react when they hear the whole truth of how I felt.” I shudder as I huddle as close as I can get, burying my face into his chest. “The last thing I need is for them to hate me…”

He sighs again as his head rests against my crest. “It might hurt them to know but they need to, Fang. No one is ever going to be able to move on from this unless everything is out in the open. This is a moment for all of you to bury everything once and for all and heal together as a family. With me there too, for some reason I can’t figure out.”

“Anon…” I pull away just enough to look him in the eyes. “You almost watched me die…” A breath catches in his throat as he gulps down the knot that forms, a tear struggling to escape his closed eyes. “I know you’ve been trying to be strong for me, for all of us, but I know you are hurting as much as you are hiding it. If there is anything you need to say…this’ll be the time.”

His grip around my back tightens and I feel the tremors shake through him as he holds back the tide threatening to spill forth. He’s been trying so hard to be everything I need him to be, but I can see the cracks forming. How when he thinks I’m asleep, I’ll hear him silently cry, doing all he can not to disturb me as he faces it all alone. He battles through it all just to help me…even when he needs to heal himself.

“It’s okay, Anon…” He struggles still, holding me tighter against his chest as I cup his cheek in my hand, a sorrowful smile on my lips as I look into his eyes as he fights to keep them open. “Let it out. I’m here for you, just as you have been for me.”

Those words are all it takes as he turns to face me and embraces me against him. His whole body shakes as he lets go of all the pain he’s been holding inside. All I can do is comfort him as I caress his back. I can only imagine the pain he’s been through. The day he came through that door and saw me on the floor bleeding out with no hope…that look on his face was one of utter despair, of dreams dying right in front of him. The tears flow in waves, seeping into my pajama top as he quakes in my arms. He’ll never have to suffer this ever again; I’ll never make him hurt that way again as long as I live.

It takes a few minutes—the sobs shrinking down to sniffles, his grip loosening as he sinks into his pillow, completely spent. I don’t say a word, just draw circles on his chest with my finger as he takes deep breaths, recovering from everything he just went through.

He rubs his forehead, letting out a sigh of relief before looking at me. “Shit, Fang. I did not know how badly I needed that. Thank you…and sorry for your shirt.”

I softly chuckle, kissing him on the cheek. “It’s alright. I was going to need to change anyway before we went. You’re welcome…but please, don’t suffer alone. I can tell you where that goes, and it’s not anywhere good.”

He nods, pulling himself up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Yeah, I know…sorry about that. Just been too focused on graduation and the show and making sure you were okay that I guess I kind of forgot I’m here, too.” He rubs the sleep from his eyes as he pulls some fresh clothes from my dresser, laughing quietly to himself.

I throw the covers off myself, getting up and sliding beside him. “What’s so funny, dweeb?”

He points at my dresser, all his clothes neatly folded within. “I never really expected to find my clothes in someone else’s dresser my entire life. I thought I was going to spend it completely alone—it’s what I always believed I wanted. To silently skate through life, never doing anything, and one day dying quietly alone in some shitty apartment.” He puts an arm around my waist, pulling me close. “I never thought I’d meet you and find a reason to give a damn.”

A smile grows on my beak as I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “I’m glad I met you. I was the same way…I thought everyone else was trash and I was some goddess of rock.” I sigh. “We saw how well that turned out. That attitude did nothing but nearly ruin my life. Then you showed up and changed my life in ways I never saw coming. We’re better together than we ever would have been apart. I wish I had seen that before I—”

He gently places a finger over my lips. “No, don’t beat yourself up for that anymore. This is our chance to do better. We’ll build each other up instead of just kind of existing in the same space. You are still a rock goddess, you know, and we’ll show them that Friday. No one will ever forget us after that.”

“You’re right. I’ll never stop being grateful to you for that. But…” I give him a coy smile as I shift in place. “You really think I’m a rock goddess?”

He smirks with a confident nod as he pats me on the back. “Of course I do. You are a fucking maestro on that guitar of yours. I’ve never seen anyone better in my life. Plus, if you can teach some untalented fuck like me how to play bass in a month, there is no way you don’t have magic in there somewhere.”

“Dweeb…” I blush as I look away and pull clothes of my own out of the dresser. I smirk as I glance at him. “Then I’m your rock goddess, and we’ll show them all just how good you believe I am.”

He shakes his head. “Not believe, know. I know how good you are. I’ll never forget that day when you played that song for me here. Never heard anything so beautiful in my life, and I don’t think I ever will again.”

“And I’ll never forget what you said to me then…” His eyebrow perks up. “The one thing I’ve carried in my heart since: ‘All that matters is her.’”

That stunned look of realization on his face is adorable as he figures out that he actually said that. That one little mumble of his he never knew he said…now he does, and it’s turning him redder than I’ve ever seen him turn.

I snicker to myself as I kiss him on the lips. “Yeah, you said that out loud. You should be happy, though. That was the moment I fell in love with you, so it worked out pretty well for you.”

His blush remains as he places a hand under his chin and nods. “You know, as embarrassing as it is to learn that none of my fucking internal thoughts stay internal, I will agree…that turned out pretty sweet for me.”

I snicker again as I toss my pajamas in a heap on the floor and slide on my halter top and pants. “Damn right it did. Now come on, we gotta get going else they are going to be sitting down there all day waiting for us.”

“Right, let’s get moving.” He slips on his shirt, jacket, and jeans combo and we head out the door and go downstairs to my awaiting family.

I’m starting to feel a little underdressed after spotting my mom wearing an immaculate emerald-colored sundress with a finely woven sunhat on top her head, and…is she wearing makeup? Holy crap, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wear makeup. A modest amount of mascara makes her eyes absolutely pop and a soft dusting of blush across her cheeks makes her even more radiant than she normally is. It almost seems a bit much for a therapy session, but I suppose she doesn’t really go out often; even this counts as something new for her to do and she wants to look her best, I guess.

Even my dad is looking a little more dapper than usual, wearing a fine dress shirt and slacks with leather dress shoes polished to a gleaming shine with a black tie around his neck. Thankfully Naser is in his casual wear, so Anon and I don’t stick out like sore thumbs.

I look my mom up and down and whistle. “Dang, Mom, I guess I should have put something a little flashier on today if I knew I would be standing next to brilliance.”

She chuckles as she shakes her head with a smile. “Just wanted to put my best foot forward today, dear. Not often we go out as a family even if this is a tough day for us all to be facing.” We all nod in agreement as the room grows silent. “Now, now…come on, dears. We need to do this, for all of us. It’s important we all heal together as a family so we can live our lives whole again.”

We all smile as she turns to the door. “Now come on, no time like the present to start putting some bandages on our wounds.” She holds her arm out, and my dad loops his arm around hers as they walk to the door. Naser gives us a nod as he walks out just behind them and then Anon and I lock our hands together and follow them out. The drive is short, which is good because I don’t know how many more love songs I could survive listening to before losing my mind. We stop at a family restaurant just beside the therapist’s office—don’t need to spill out our deepest thoughts on an empty stomach.

With our bellies full, we walk to the office and step inside. The decorations inside are as neutral as they could possibly be. A few potted plants eek out a living at the edge of the sunlight pouring in the windows, and the bulk of the room is taken up by brown couches and chairs. There are a few other people here waiting for their turn to face their own demons, some skimming through psych magazines or watching the news on the small flat screen tv bolted to the wall, while soft music plays from tiny speakers in the corners of the room. We find a corner with a table and a couple of couches and settle in as we wait.

The minutes tick by in silence as we idly wait for our turn. Naser flips through his phone, probably checking his schedule for the next week and planning out his start in medical school. My dad browses a golfing magazine he had stuffed in his back pocket while my mom silently sits with her hands across her lap, gently smiling at me when she catches me looking her way. Anon and I rest against one another as my dread grows every minute that goes by. Every second brings me closer to the moment that scares me more than anything else. I don’t want to tell them everything I thought, but I can’t hide it all inside forever.

Another minute goes by before the door clicks open and a patient thanks the therapist before heading out the door. She looks at a clipboard in her hands before addressing the whole room.

“Is the Aaron family here?” She nods at us when she sees us get up. “Come on in, please.” Once we’re inside the room and she closes the door, she gestures to the chairs set in a circle in the middle of the room. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right with you.”

We all look at each other before taking seats in the remarkably comfortable chairs she’s put out for us. I guess if you’ve got to spill your heart out, you might as well be comfortable during it. She goes to her desk and pulls out a notepad that she clips to her board before taking a seat between us all.

I take a look at her as she pulls out a pen and rests it across her clipboard. She’s a parasaur, which would make me nervous if it wasn’t for the fact that she seems so welcoming even as she says nothing—a far cry from Naomi. Her scales are a soft green hue that complements her calm sky blue eyes. Cream white runs from under her chin down her neck, and I assume covers the rest of her stomach all the way through. Her build is a little larger than mine, well-toned muscle hidden beneath her brown suit jacket with a matching skirt. Her head is covered in auburn hair tightly pulled into a ponytail. She’s wearing stockings alongside a pair of black dress shoes. She looks so formal, yet the air of the room feels casual and pleasant, almost like being home with a comfy blanket.

She places the clipboard on her lap as she looks out across all of us, a welcoming smile on her face as her presence melts the tension we all are feeling. “Hello everyone, my name is Shay. I’d like to welcome you all here. You’ve taken an important first step in healing, especially after such a traumatic experience.” She takes off her glasses and sets them on the table beside her. “Today will mostly be about introductions and getting some things off your chests. I’ll be here to keep things civil if anything gets out of hand, but this is a time for all of you to start a journey to come closer together as a family and heal. So, we’ll start with introductions. Who would like to go first?”

My mom raises her hand as she takes a deep breath before introducing herself. We all go in turn as we slowly introduce ourselves to Shay while she nods and smiles, taking notes without judgement as we all say a little about each other. Silence falls after Anon introduces himself last.

“Well, I am happy to meet you all.” She gives a smile that could pull a man from the edge of oblivion as she looks at us all. “Now, you all gave me some information before you arrived. Fang.” She turns to me. “I am sorry about what you went through. Few people go through such an experience and come out of it alive, but I know you have deep scars that will take time to heal. Some of that healing may take months or years, but we can start here today.” She places her hand on my shoulder. “Speak your mind, Fang.”

I shrug nervously with a fragile smile. “About what, exactly?”

“About how you feel. About what led you to that moment. Anything at all—every piece is important. Let the words flow so that you all can move on and recover.”

I take a deep breath, a heavy sigh shakily passing my lips as I think about my life. All the times I felt ignored, unwanted, discarded. How when I changed as I got older, I felt more alone every day. I suppose now is as good a time as any to be honest…I just hope they don’t hate me for this.

“Well…” I feel Anon take my hand, the warmth bringing me strength. “I mean, the catalyst for what happened was prom night. I felt like everything died when I was booed off the stage. That I had spent my whole life playing music and that in the end, I was never going to go anywhere. I felt lost, like I had nothing left to live for, and I just gave up.” I look over at Anon and smile, giving his hand a squeeze. “Thanks to him, I get to be here today to speak about it. But there is something I need to say.”

I look over at my parents. They look prepared, like they have been waiting for this moment. “Mom, Dad…why?” A tear streaks down my cheek as I move my gaze from one to the other. “Why did you give up on me? I know I was hard to deal with—I was going through a lot thinking about my identity and who I was—and I’ll admit I pushed back too hard when people questioned it but…why? In the end, all I wanted was to make you proud of me, but it seemed like everything I did was just one disappointment after another to you. Especially to you, Dad. I felt like all I did was let you down, and all we ever did was yell at each other. Was I that much of a burden on you guys?”

My mother can barely hold back her tears and they both look at me with sadness hanging in their eyes. “Oh Fang…” My dad says as my mom takes his hand. “Honey, I’m sorry. I never gave up on you. I just didn’t know what to do. You were changing so fast and I didn’t know how to keep up. It’s like you were a different person entirely from when you were growing up, and I guess I felt like something was wrong. Like we had failed you somehow and that you were going down a dark road. I love you, Fang. I am sorry I pushed you so hard to be different when I never had a right to. I was worried about you but pushing you wasn’t the answer.”

My mom nods as she speaks, “I will admit, we messed up. I didn’t know how to handle it. I thought it was better for me simply to smile and go along with everything rather than shake the boat. My indifference to the misery you were going through is something I cannot apologize enough for. But please, know that we never ever would give up on you. If we made you feel like we had…then we need to do better to show you how proud we are of you and how much you mean to us. We love you, Fang.”

“R-really? You guys really didn’t think I was a disappointment?” A shaky smile grows on my beak as I look at them again.

“Of course not.” My dad shakes his head. “I made my mistakes. I tried to shove you back into a box because I thought I knew best, but I clearly was wrong. I look at you now and I’m so proud of you. All I had to do was open my eyes and see that talent in you to realize that I’ve been wrong the whole time. You didn’t need to fit a mold; you were going to shatter it. There is no box that could hold that beautiful soul of yours and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see it. You deserved all the support in the world.”

“Jesus, guys…” I wipe away the tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry I gave you so much trouble. But I will admit that I guess I just felt unloved. That the new me wasn’t what anyone wanted, even if I was enjoying my music and late-night concerts. I only felt happy when I’d sneak out at night to see one of the big bands play at the Lava Lamp. I guess I just thought I needed to get away from you, like there wasn’t really a place for me at home anymore.”

“And that’s our fault,” my mom says as she looks at the floor. “I spent my time just pretending our lives were perfect when we all were hurting in our own ways. I hope we never give you reason to doubt how much we love you ever again.”

“Thank you both…” I smile as I look over at Naser, but there is a complicated look on his face as he stares off to the side. “Naser?” He doesn’t move much as he glances over to me. “Something you need to say?”

He sighs as he nods, looking lost as he tries to find the words. “It’s just…it’s not just you, Fang, that’s for sure.” His hands grip his thighs as he leans forward on his chair. “It’s like all their hopes fell on me. That I had to be the perfect kid. That shining example to the world that would say ‘Hey! Look! This is a family of winners! Nothing is wrong here!’” He groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I haven’t been able to freaking do anything but be perfect ever since the moment when I got injured. You drifted off from all of us after I got hurt, and while I have never blamed you for that, I can’t say my life hasn’t been rough ever since.”

“Naser…” I speak up but he gently waves it off before he continues.

“Never feel like I’m laying this on you, Fang, because not a bit of it is your fault.” He glances over at our parents with a look of pure exhaustion. “But I need to say that I don’t like what you guys did to Fang. She was clearly in pain but it’s like instead of dealing with it, you just made me do twice the work. At least you did, Dad. Every single one of my successes simply made me to have to do even better the next time!” His arm swings out with his words before limply falling to his side. “Not to mention, it was suddenly my job to keep tabs on Fang. She is my sister! I always got in trouble anytime she did something you didn’t want her to do, like it was somehow my job to take care of her instead of growing up with her like it should have been. I’m her brother. Not her parent, and not her babysitter.”

Naser buries his face in his palms as years of built-up frustration are finally released from him. The years he has spent having to work so hard just to make Dad proud are more than anyone ever should have had to put up with. He barely got a chance to be a kid after the accident, always having to be the pillar of the family.

“Son…you are absolutely right.”

Naser snaps up and looks at our dad with surprise.

“I put way too much on your shoulders. I thought I was supporting you, building you up, but each time I expected more. You even got pushed forward a year in school with how well you were doing. I thought it was my job to push you harder, to be better and to never settle for second best.” He sighs, rubbing his eyes, looking more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him. “I never let you just be a teenager. I buried you in extracurricular activities and I can’t remember the last time you had a summer where you weren’t training every day. I’m sorry, Son. You carried far too much for far too long.”

Naser simply stares at him for a while, studying his face. He crosses his arms over his chest with a sigh. “Well…I’m glad you are seeing it now, at least. Unfortunately, right before graduation but…” He shrugs. “Late is better than never.”

A tense silence settles over the room as long-held grievances—finally put out into the air—are examined. Our parents aren’t bad people, far from it. It just seems at one point we all lost ourselves and they desperately tried to hold the pieces together, no one making the right choices the entire time. Shay has kept quiet the whole time, not needing to step in. nor did she take any sides. She stops writing on her notepad and sets it down.

“That is a great start, all of you.” Her calm voice drains the tension floating in the room as she glances at us all. “There is no need to overwhelm one another, otherwise understanding can never be reached. But I will leave the floor open for anyone to say anything they want, if they would like, before I make suggestions for us to move forward.”

“Actually,” Anon speaks up, his hands tightly held together. “I have something I wanted to say. Just need to find a way to word it.”

She takes her clipboard back into her hands as she nods to him. “Say whatever you need to say, Anon.”

He takes a deep breath before taking my hand in his. “This family right here has been the family I’ve wanted for so long. My parents never gave a damn about me. Hell, my dad was altogether prepared to ship me off to war without a second thought. I doubt he would have given a shit if I died overseas or got shot in some desert. I can see that there is a lot of pain in this family, tons of it, in fact. But I’ve never seen a group of people more dedicated to each other than the ones here.” He waves his arm across the whole group, his words sinking in and my mother silently sniffles. “You’ve all made mistakes, some choices that nearly…nearly were permanent.” He gives me a pained look as he squeezes my hand. “But there is nothing stopping everyone here from becoming the best thing that I’ve ever had in my life. A real family, one I would be happy to come visit every Christmas until the day I die. All I want is to be a part of it…I hope for the rest of my life.”

Not a word is spoken but volumes are said with just the looks on the faces of my family. My mom smiles as she holds back her tears, my dad has a proud grin on his face with mist in his eyes, and my brother’s orange eyes lock onto Anon’s, the same brotherly energy he holds for me flowing toward Anon. I rest my head against Anon’s shoulder…this dweeb never gives himself enough credit.

Shay smiles as she speaks, “Thank you for sharing, Anon. Does anyone else have anything they’d like to say?” A few seconds of silence later, she takes her pen in hand and starts writing down some notes. “Alright. Now, I would like to talk to you all for a little bit about what I think we could do to keep going down this road. For everyone here to come together closer as a family and so misunderstandings can be kept at a minimum going forward.”

She talks about family-building exercises, ways to help us heal and trust one another more as time goes by. Not all of them sound like they will be fun, but I guess they aren’t supposed to be. It’s about healing, and sometimes medicine is hard to swallow even if it helps. As the hour goes by, we all share more between us, age-old hatchets finally being buried, some of which should have been dealt with a long time ago. As much as I dreaded coming here, I leave with what feels like the weight of the world pulled from my shoulders. I wouldn’t mind coming back—so much more to say and do.

Shay waves goodbye to us as she hands us a list of activities to try before coming back in a couple of weeks. She’s not cheap, but I can see why she was recommended to us by the school. I don’t think we’d find another family therapist more qualified for miles. The drive home is filled with laughter as we all groan at the things we left unsaid that led to so many mistakes being made. Anon is happier than I’ve ever seen him, chatting up my dad like they’ve been old friends for years. It’s more than me that Anon needs…he needs a family, and he has one now.

After we get home, we have a nice family meal. We weren’t about to force my mom to cook after all of that, so we ordered some pizza from Dino Moe’s. The poor pizzas didn’t stand a chance as we obliterated them in minutes before spending some time playing a few board games in the living room. Not that I have a ton of time for messing around, since we’ve still have practicing to do. After the last game, I get up and tap Anon on the shoulder.

“Come on, Anon, we gotta keep at it. You are nearly ready but we’ve only got a few days left to go before the big show. It’ll be our shining moment and we have to make sure it’s perfect.” I smile down at him as he stands up beside me.

“You two have fun!” My mom cheerfully says as she starts to put away the game pieces, organizing the chaos we had created. We both give her a hug before hopping up the stairs to my room. Anon quickly takes the bass off the wall and plugs it in, instantly strumming away at the strings. He doesn’t sound too bad at all. He doesn’t need me sitting behind him anymore to maintain his positioning, and he’s done nothing but practice the song we wrote during our spare time after school.

I grab my guitar and sit on the edge of the bed beside him, strumming out a melody as I hum the lyrics with him joining in. He says he has no talent for music; I don’t believe it. I just think he never had a reason to try. Nothing really pushing him to give it a real go. He looks over at me with a smile, never losing his place even as he focuses on me. Barely a month and he could give Trish a run for her money. I hope she enjoys it when we are playing on that stage. She could have been there herself if she hadn’t decided cash was more important than our dreams. Reed’s part is all set too…I sent him a recording of us playing and he wrote a drum part that works perfect.

The hours go by as the day fades into night. We take very few breaks, all of our attention focused on getting better and better and perfecting my song. A song we wrote together, lyrics built from our hearts and our shared experiences. This song will resonate across all of Volcano High when they hear it. The story of two souls finding something they have been looking for all along, someone to hold on to.