The cold wind hit me in the face like a heavyweight boxer. Every molecule of cold air went through me like a spear and I shivered. That instead of waking me up made me feel miserable for some reason. I hadn't been able to sleep all night because my intrusive thoughts wouldn't let me. They kept harassing me with the previous day's events with Anon, the ones from my old school, from my childhood, from Naser... to that, added to my previous days of little sleep, they left me in the shit. Somehow, I managed to make it to the stop and get to school. The whole morning was a struggle between my will to stay awake and my eyes wanting to close. And my teachers seemed to be on the side of my eyes, as their classes made me horribly sleepy. But every time I closed my eyes, the intrusive thoughts came back to continue to torment me. I had to focus on the class to avoid that torture. Lunchtime came and my brain could no longer cope with the fatigue. I put myself on automatic so I could get to the cafeteria and buy my lunch. I sat down in my usual spot and set out to eat whatever I grabbed. I wanted to lie down on the floor, go to sleep and not wake up. “…” I played with my food with no appetite either. I didn't really feel like do anything. “…” There were still a couple of classes left in the day. Maybe I can try to get some sleep in economics. Hopefully the explanation of economic calculations will be a good ambient noise to shut out the voices of guilt in my head. “FANG!” The shout brought me out of my reverie. To my right I had Som and Stra. The first with a puzzled look on her face, and the second with one of wanting to be anywhere else but here. "H- Hi. Sorry, I didn't hear you." "No problem. Can we sit down?" "Sure, why not?" "Are you okay? You look tired." "I couldn't sleep well last night" I replied, rubbing my eyes. I looked at my classmates. Som looked the same as always, but with a sad smile on her face. Stra looked tired and grumpy too, she was eating almost forcing herself. "I heard you were in trouble yesterday with Anon." Som said getting my attention. "Yeah" I replied feebly. "I'm sorry for what would have happened. Anon is such a jerk sometimes." "Too many times" Stra said resentfully without looking up from her tray. Som looks at her pityingly. "Everything okay?" Shit, I spoke without thinking. "Yes, everything's fine just-" "Our keyboard player left us." Said Stra interrupting Som "The son of a bitch left the band for wanting to take it seriously" Stra's anger could be felt in every word. Stra clenched her fork tightly, trying to control himself. Som looked down with even more sorrow. Shit, this is awkward. I have to say something... "I know how to play the piano." They both raised their heads to look at me. "Really?!" "Yeah, my grandma taught me when I was a kid. I haven't played in a long time." Memories of my afternoons with my grandmother teaching me the types of notes as she played the keys on the piano at home came to mind. At first, I thought I wouldn't like it. Playing the piano seems so sappy, but in the end I got interested. My mother used to make me play in front of- Wait, wait, wait! Did I just tell them I can play the piano?! The realization of what I just said came too late. I looked at the two girls in front of me. The redhead and the brown hair had their eyes wide, anxious and fixed on me. Stra leaned forward to speak to me: "Fang, would you be interested in play keyboard for our band?" Stra and Som looked at me expectantly and anxiously. I felt that my answer depended on the fate of not only their band, but of them, of the whole school, of the city, of the country. All of humanity depended on whether I said 'yes' or 'no'. And I want that responsibility. Shit, shit, shit. Brain, what do I do?! Stop drowning in a glass of water, stupid. It's just a silly school band. Just say no, you can't, you don't want to, you're not interested, but you appreciate the offer. Shall I say that? Yes, say that. Don't fuck up, I want to make it to the end of the year. All right. "All right." YOU STUPID RETARDED LIZARD! YOU FUCKED US UP! FUCK YOU BRAIN! IT'S YOUR JOB TO FILTER MY SHIT! YOU DOOMED US! YOU DAMNED US! YOU FUCKED US FOREVER BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T SLEEP EARLY, YOU FUCKING BITCH! I'd better stop yelling at my brain and get back to reality. Okay, I screwed up, but I can fix it. How? I don't know, but I'm gonna fix it. I'm going to tell her it was a joke. That's it! That's how I'm going to get out of this mess. "That's great!" Stra shouted with a big smile on her face. "Thank you so much!" "Thank you, Fang", Som said with the eyes of a little dog who was happy to see his owner back after a long time. "Yeaaaa..." Shit, I can't. I can't escape this one, I can't break their dreams and hopes of these girls, but I don't want to join any band. God, is this your divine punishment against me? "Perfect, after school we can go to my house to rehearse with the guys." BITCH, PAY ATTENTION, A CHANCE TO ESCAPE. My brain shouted at me that stirred up all its fatigue just trying to save me. "Sorry, but I can't today." "Why?" Quick! An excuse, now! "It's just that..." I can't think of anything. Damn rotten brain! "It's just that my brain is rotten." "What?" My thoughts are going through unfiltered. Somebody do something! "Sorry, I'm tired. I can barely think straight. I don't think I can play today" I'm finally saying something coherent. "I can get you an energy drink, or coffee, or both. Then you could-" "Stra! Fang is in no condition today" Som stopped Stra from her plan to wake me up by injecting caffeine into my veins. "Look at his face." She said, pointing at me. Stra gave me a long look before grimacing and sitting back down, surrendered. Do I look that bad? "Tomorrow could you?" Stra asked me, almost pleading. "I guess?" My answer caused Som to clap his hands happily and a relieved smile to appear on Stra's face. You doomed us, bitch. I know. I know. What was left of lunch was those two humans talking to me about their band, a one-way conversation to which I paid no attention. When I returned to my apartment, the first thing I did was fall over one of the living room chairs and bang my head against the table. I wrapped my arms and wings around myself and screamed against them to release some of the pressure. I didn't want to be in a band. I just wanted to be unnoticed. What went wrong? I stayed like that for quite a while. Resting my head on the table and covering myself with my arms and wings. I rested my eyes for a while. I still had to make the video call. What a pain, I'm going to rest for a few minutes and then I'll do it. I opened my eyes again. The room was dark. The only light was from the street filtering through the window. I checked my phone. It was midnight and I had some messages and a missed call from my brother. I sighed. I got up to try to get to my bed, so I could sleep a little better, so I would have strength for tomorrow. At least the worry of my impending death tomorrow kept the intrusive thoughts away. The next day came and my nerves were eating me alive. I found out I had informatics and history with Stra when she approached me to make sure I was ready for the afternoon. She was agitated and spoke to me with an insistence that scared me a little. I avoided going to the cafeteria so I wouldn't run into her. When class was over, I thought about sneaking out to get away from Stra and her band. But the last class that day was math, so Som quickly went to my seat and escorted me all the way to the exit. She grabbed my wrist so I couldn't escape and almost dragged me out of the school. Outside, Stra was standing with two other boys. When she saw us, she ran to meet us and grabbed my other arm too hard to introduce me to the other members of her band. Now they were really dragging me along. "This is Unde, our drummer, and Anon, our guitarist, although you already know him." Stra introduced those two characters. Unde swiped his hand to remove his long hair from his face and greeted me indifferently. Anon, for his part, just raised his hand. His face was a mixture of discomfort and uncertainty. We all started walking together. I had no idea where we were going. With Stra and Son on either side, Anon in front and Unde behind, I felt like I was being escorted to my execution and then eaten around a fire. "Where are we going?" I asked nervously. "To my house." Stra replied in surprise. "I told you yesterday that at my house we had the instruments." "Sorry, I forgot" I replied embarrassed, then died of nervousness again. We walked a few more minutes until we came to a two-story white house. Stra stepped forward and opened the door for us. The living room looked pretty typical. A couch in front of the TV, some family photos hung on the walls and a cross over the entryway. I expected some spear or something like that displayed as well. They also had a Gii. As I was contemplating the place, a bark made me lower my sights. At my feet was a small white dog at my feet, barking at me. "Leo! Come!" Stra called to the dog, which paid no attention and continued barking at me. "Calm down, it doesn't bite." Stra informed, picking up the animal to reassure it. "What's his name?" "Leo. The one with Som is Luna." Stra pointed to Som who was holding another black dog in her arms, which was licking her. "Do you have dogs?" "No. My father doesn't like animals, unless it's for display on the wall." "Oh. Well, shall we?" I followed Stra through his house, gathering my wings so as not to knock anything over in the narrow hallway, to the room where everyone else had gone. It looked like a recording room. On a stand rested several guitars and a bass. The walls were covered with that noise-absorbing foam rubber. Against one wall a drum kit was mounted along with a microphone. On the opposite wall I saw a table with a computer, some amplifiers and a treadmill? Unde and Anon had made themselves comfortable, the first sitting on a puff and the second leaning against the wall, each checking their phones. Som was trying to place the instrument of my ruin, the keyboard, on its stand. Stra put the dog down and quickly went to help the redhead. I stood there, not knowing where to hide my head. "Ready." Stra said after placing the keyboard on the stand. "Awesome place" I said to said something. "Thanks. It's a room we use for various things. My parents use it as a gym" Stra pointed to the dumbbells and exercise mats I had ignored at my first glance. "And me for playing. Except for the drums, the rest of the instruments are mine." "You know how to play all of them?" "Yes, I know how to play all of them. Except the drums, again. That's Unde's specialty." "So, you know how to play the keyboard?" "Yes." "Why then do you need a keyboard player?" "I can't play bass and keyboard at the same time" She answered me as if I had asked her why the sky is blue. "Som what play?" I asked to buy time. For what? I don't know. "I'm their manager and the owner of Anon" Som replied proudly. "What do you mean by owner?" I ask with interest. "Is she going to play or what?" asked Anon impatiently. Don't fuck with me you fucking caveman. "Yes, he right. So, Fang" Stra invites me with her arms to come closer to the keyboard "Could you?" No, I do not want to. I wanted to run away as fast as possible from that place, but I couldn't. With hesitant steps, I approached the keyboard. I was starting to sweat, something very rare for a ptero, but nerves were making it possible. The humans were staring at me as I tried to control myself and try to touch that strange device. "What I play?" "Whatever you want." Okay. What song I remember? I flashed back to mornings with my grandmother when she would tell me which keys were which notes. I put my hands on the black and white surface and started playing. At first, I could remember the beginning of the melody my grandma had taught me, but the notes didn't sound the same as I remembered them. Then I didn't know how to go on and I played the keys at random, playing without sense or rhythm. I gave up trying to play that melody sooner rather than later. As I looked up, I could see the disapproving and disappointed faces of my audience. "Didn't you say you knew how to play the keyboard?" "I also said I hadn't played for a long time, and I played the piano, not the keyboard." "You could practice and so-" "Stra, leave it," Som said firmly putting a hand on Stra's shoulder. She opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it and lowered her head. "Sorry." "You don't have to apologize, it doesn't matter" Stra said trying to make this mess less, but her face made it clear that it wasn't. "Is the keyboard very important to your band?" "Not really. We could play no problem without it" Anon stated. "But I thought up a lot of songs with keyboard in mind as an accompanist" replied Stra. "It was just an accompanist, it's not like losing a guitar or a bass. You're not going to notice his absence. Plus, Gaf wasn't any good." "You're not one to criticize either. You also need to get better... And stop acting like you're the only one on stage." That comment seemed to touch a sensitive nerve. Anon's face contracted into an angry grimace. "What's that for?!" Anon replied, facing Stra, "Like you don't know, asshole" Stra said in a defiant posture. I was having déjà vu at that moment, but I was on the other side of the argument. I could see that before long those two were going to fight like cats and dogs. "EY!" shouted Som getting in the middle of those two. "CALM DOWN YOU TWO!" She commanded with an authority I didn't expect, causing both of them to take a step back. "Don't you two start arguing like idiots! Especially not in front of Fang! Now, apologize!" Both of them intended to retort to the red-haired girl, but a glare from her made them dissent from trying. Reluctantly, they both apologized to each other. Som sighed wearily and ran her hand over her face. The room fell into a tense silence, the kind that leaves a fight with no winner. I didn't like that silence, so I tried to get out of it with the first thing that came to mind. "What do you play?" "What do you mean?" counter Stra asked tiredly. "What kind of music do you usually play" "Ah... Slow Rock and sometimes Hard Rock. And covers." "Covers of what?" Stra opened her mouth, but didn't get to answer me. "Of anime" Unde replied from the puff, entering the conversation at last. Embarrassment flashed across Anon and Stra's face with that statement. "Of anime?" "Yes, we do covers of anime openings. Stra and Som do the translation of the lyrics and we upload it to a YouTooth channel." Unde explained to me nonchalantly. "Oh... Interesting." "I manage the channel and edit" Som stated. "How many views do you have?" "About... a thousand per video." "Not bad." "Yeah, our most viewed video got up to twenty thousand views." "Which one was it? The one with the robot?" "No, the one from Shingeki." Som clarified to Unde. "Last time I watched we had about two and a half thousand subscribers.” "I wish our original songs had more views" Anon stated without addressing anyone specifically. Som looked at him empathetically and I gave him a friendly smile. "There, there. Success comes little by little" Som comforted him by shaking his shoulder a little. "While we're at it, why don't we practice a little on the next cover?" "Yeah, why not?" replied Anon taking a step back to move one of the amps. Unde said nothing, just got up and went to stand behind his drum. Stra seemed undecided on what to do until she saw Som, who was looking at her kindly. She sighed and went to pick up her bass. I stepped out of the way as they took their places, standing next to Som. "What song are they going to play?" I asked the girl. "Do you know Konosuba?" Som's question unlocked a bad memory of a bad decision. "No" I lied. "Well, it's a comedy series that parodies isekai animes... Do you know what an isekai is?" "No" I continued to feign ignorance. "Well, an isekai is a genre of anime that's about a guy who dies and is resurrected, or is teleported to a medieval fantasy world, usually." I nodded as she explained all that information I already knew. "It's a well-worn genre these days, and Konosuba makes pretty good fun of the typical tropes of those series. It's a good series, although I wouldn't recommend it for someone new to anime." By the time she finished her explanation, the band had already taken their places and instruments. Unde began to calmly play his drums while Stra began to say the first few lyrics. Unde increased the speed of his beats and introduced Anon. I recognized the opening melody from the first season of Konosuba and images of it came into my head. They were good musicians, but they seemed a bit unmotivated. Stra's voice didn't sound as intense as it should and Anon, although he kept the rhythm, played without much interest. When they finished playing the opening, I applauded with Som. That put a little mood back in their faces. "Not just bad without a keyboard, right?" "Yeah, whatever." Anon's comment took the joy off Stra's face. "You just concentrate on getting to the notes." "Whatever." Tension was returning to the atmosphere. Som was quick to ask if they wanted to play another song. They replied no, they didn't feel like it. "What do you guys want to do?" Who answered the question after a few seconds of silence was Unde. "Play Smash?" … "NO!" I scream as I fell off the platform and couldn't get back on. That way I lost my last life and was eliminated first in the Smash Dinos of Stra's Gii. The fight continued with Stra, Unde and Anon until the last one left was the long haired drummer on the platform. I had to get up from the couch and hand over my control to Som, as the rules dictated if you were eliminated first. I stood there watching the other four playing, mentally betting who was going to lose first. At that, the front door opened and a woman in office clothes walked in. I was the first thing she saw, so she stood frozen in the doorway, her eyes wide open. “Hi mom!” “Hello Mrs. Ger.” “Hii” Unde just raised his hand without saying anything. "Uh... Hello kids... Uh..." Mrs. Ger clearly wasn't used to dealing with dinos or didn't understand what one was doing in her house, or both. So she didn't know what to tell me or what to do. "This is Fang, she was recently transferred." Stra explained to his mother. "Oh, I see. Nice to meet you, young lady." Mrs. Ger forced a smile and stretched out her hand to me in a formal manner. "My pleasure, ma'am" I shook her hand, trying to be as polite as possible to the owner of the house. "You have... a beautiful home, ma'am." That's the best I could think of to say. "Thank you! Hey... Are you guys staying late today or are you planning to go out somewhere?" the mother asked her daughter. "Are you guys staying for dinner?" asked Stra to the rest. "I have nothing to do, so why not?" replied Anon playing with the controller, since the game was paused. "I have no problem, I let my parents know I would be here earlier today" Som informed. Unde just nodded. From the way they responded, it must have been a regular occurrence. Eyes soon turned to me. "I... I should go back to my apartment, it's getting late. Besides, I don't want to intrude." "Fang, you're not intruding," Stra said, though his mother didn't seem to feel the same way. "No, it's okay. Anyway, I have to be home early. I have to make a video call with my mother to let her know how I'm doing." "Oh, I see... At least let me get you close to your apartment. So you don't have to walk back." "Ah... Okay. Thank you." "Perfect. Ah... Mom, can I borrow the car to bring Fang closer to his apartment?" "Sure! Here!" The mother handed the car keys to her daughter quickly. "I'll help you get dinner ready, Mrs. Ger." "I appreciate it, Som." "Alright. Anon, go to the store and buy the usual" Ordered Som giving money to Anon as if she was his mother (Although she said earlier that she was his 'owner', whatever that means). Anon got up from the couch and told Unde to accompany him. Unde obeyed without asking. The four of us were about to leave when Som called Stra for a moment. She told me to wait for her in the car. It was already dark outside, and the night chill was just as bad as the morning. Anon and Unde said goodbye to me as they walked what must have been their usual route to the store. I stood next to Stra's mother's black car waiting for her to get out. I took that moment to analyze my day. Looking at the facts, it could have been worse. Stra finally came out of the house and we both got into the car. "Does your mother often lend you the car?" "For groceries and stuff, and for emergencies. Now, where do you live?" I told her my address and the trip began. Neither of us spoke, leaving the radio announcer to do the talking. I started checking my phone to pass the time. At a stoplight, Stra spoke to me: "So...what did you think?" "About what?" "The band." "Oh! Good, you're good." "Thanks." "Sorry I can't play the keyboard for you guys." "It's okay, it doesn't matter." Stra took a moment to gather strength to say the following. "If you don't mind, you can come next rehearsal or recording." "But I don't know how to play any instruments." "Som either, but having an audience to play for lifts the spirits, even if it's just a rehearsal." "I..." I felt that at that moment was my chance to escape these people and go back to the original plan of going unnoticed until prom. I just had to say 'no, thank you' and everything would return to its normal state. But... "Yeah, sure, I would like." "Really?!" She said surprised at my statement. I was too. "Great! Som will like it. Everyone is going to like it." "And Anon? He doesn't like me very much." "He didn't like me and I didn't like him either, but you learn to love your idiot." Stra sighed in a way I couldn't decipher. A couple of minutes later, we had arrived in front of my apartment complex. Before I got off, Stra had me exchange numbers with her so she could add me to the band chat group. Then we said our goodbyes. As I rode up the elevator, I reflected a bit. The evening had been regular at best. The Smash was fun, but it didn't explain why I said yes. Did I just become a masochist? Did I hate myself so much to torture myself like that? Or... I don't know. When I walked into my apartment, the first thing I did, naturally, is turn on my laptop. Normally I would first check the threads for any shitposting opportunities, but I was running behind on the video call. I let Naser know that I would pass on the invitation in a moment. "Hi Lucy!" "Hi mom." "How are you today? What took you so long?" "Well..." I thought about what I did in the afternoon today. I mentally prepared myself for the barrage of questions I would receive from my mother after hearing the reason for my tardiness "I was with some friends."