Is it weird to have sex with a girl who's crying? Okay, I didn’t put it right… Lucy admitted a lot to me that night. One of them being the need for physical intimacy. Only problem was the alcohol running through her. She assured me it’s fine, but I still felt bad, and she was still crying, sorta. It was on the downswing of crying, but still sorta snotty and gross overall… … I couldn't do it. I would say something corny to look slightly better like “Oh, I’m tired of having sex with my unstable girlfriend” but I would be lying. I’m trying to do better with the whole “not lying” thing. Really, I should put my foot down entirely after what happened last night and like, lay down the law. But hung-over beauty is cuddled up on my bed all cute right now and I don’t have the heart to tell her she’s fucking insane. I stand in front of my bathroom's smudged up mirror brushing my teeth thinking about all the warning signs and red flags she flashed in the past year. Particularly, the conversation me and Trish had about the stupid useless railgun. That thing was useless, by the way. All it did was shoot a tiny ball of metal at like, not even “leave a mark” speed. I don’t think I got that across to her. She thought it could legit kill someone, someone like Fang's brother, or his bitch of a girlfriend, or Trish herself, whatever. Trish must have known something about… Maybe a “plan” or a want, or a fantasy of getting back all the jerks at school who made fun of them. Fucking crazy to think about how crazy heavy Trish must have felt… wrangling a walking time bomb; puts everything into perspective. My dislike of Trish sorta started to melt with this new information. Why my mind was in overdrive like this I was not sure, but what I was sure about was… … Oh God. I fucked up bad, didn’t I? Fang is a walking time bomb. I’m holding her tears as ransom. I spit the toothpaste out as I heard a yawn from behind me. Fang is naked and looking disheveled. Despite everything… My feelings have not changed. I told her the truth last night. I loved her. Outside of silly anime girls, she was my first, real love. Even the thought of giving her up hurt. Plus it would not be fair, I think? Despite the sex, I was not sure how she actually, truly felt. She says all this shit, and I don’t think she’s lying, but damn, what is going through her head? I… Need to talk to Trish. I actually, sorta, need help; from Trish, of all people. But like, is Fang and her even still on speaking terms? I don’t know! And I’m fucking horrified! “A-anon?” She sounded tired, was never a morning person, my ptero. Wonderful to hear her not angry, or even… Lustful? I guess that’s the word for it? I spit out my germinating toothpaste and turned around to wave at her and Indicate that I didn't just leave my house for no reason at all. “How are you feeling?” I asked as I approached her. She just shook her head. “I’m fine. It’s whatever.” Glad to see the apathy didn’t go out the window. I couldn't help myself, so I leaned in to give her a kiss as soon as I sat beside her. Boy golly gee that apathy sure did dissipate as soon as her snoot was booped. Despite everything, I’m still her dweeb. She wasn't really hung over. Turns out, dinosaurs are incredibly good at burning the bad icky stuff out of their bodies. This was a good thing for her, but a bad thing for me, because that means her… drive is fully intact. Just a few months ago I was making amends with myself about dying a virgin, but the truth now is that I'm going to die BECAUSE I lack virginity. After a bit of freshening-up in the restroom and a few split pop tarts for breakfast we were back to cuddling on the bed. A marked improvement from last time, but the weirdness still lingered. My confidence pinged back and forth, which was a problem because I really felt like I needed to talk to her about things. It felt like everytime I mustered up the strength to start a meaningful conversation she would touch my body in such a way that kept me muzzled. Truth be told, I didn't even know what to call her anymore. Fang, or Lucy. Maybe she was stuck too, and she picked up on the emotions we both felt, and this was just a coping mechanism. I don't get it, but what I did get was her hand gently flowing up and down my chest and stomach, and her wings acting as the most comfortable pillows I've ever had the honor of using. Hanging out fully clothed was cool. "Lucy… Can I ask something?" I gently spoke. "Yeah sure." "You are doing alright, right?" Her face looked a bit puzzled at the inquiry. "I mean, yeah all things considered." Her gaze had been in a constant fluxion between me and the wall beside, like she wasn't sure how to feel. "Slight headache, that's all." She settled on. "Do you need water?" I asked. Lucy stretched out her arms above her head, showing off her body inadvertently. "I'll tell you what I might need, Anon~." Uhh. Really? "And what's that?" "Just more attention, that's all." She popped a genuinely warm looking smile. "In general? Or right now?" To my surprise, I felt her hand cradle mine from behind. … I got the hint pretty quick. "NO." Trish spat, chucking her water across the table at my supple face and leaving me significantly more soggy than I was just 5 minutes before. Well this conversation was off to a real good start. After spending Saturday doing nothing but railing my own personal trauma woman, my next step was actually talking to Trish about her killer fantasies. Problem being, she's Trish. I begged Reed to help me set up an encounter with the racist triceratops in a cordial manner, he suggested a dinner she liked. I offered free food as an act of good faith to get my foot in the door. Surprisingly it worked. I met her at a nice little roadside place, red and white checkered tabletops and everything. The smell of burnt coffee graced my nose canals like nothing had before, and the general depression of real life surrounded me like alcoholics at the local anonymous meeting. I thought that it would be a great place to reconcile and find common ground… "You are SUCH a piece of shit, and the fact that they are spending ANY amount of time with you is fucking infuriating!" "Trish, please. I get you are still upset, anyone would be, but I'm trying my best to keep you and Lucy from drifting-" "OH! AND you dead name them? Real fucking classy, monkey. If you actually cared for them-" The idea that I don't care made my body shoot up from its wet, slumped over posture ramrod straight. "LISTEN YOU BITCH. Lucy TOLD me, SHE wants to be called a SHE." My voice raised just a notch higher than my assailants, causing multiple working dinos in the joint to look over in a sort of scared confusion. We both noticed, and after a quick staring contest with the purple wonder, we both silently agreed to maybe stop screaming… Or at least I hope she got the picture. "... I wouldn't be here if I didn't care. Despite everything, you are her closest friend. It would kill me inside if she lost her friend. I'm not trying to fucking take what you two have, in fact, I'm trying to keep you two together." That was an honest statement, but I wasn't going to let my hand slip with the fact that… I know Trish was in fact keeping Lucy from exploding. The horned fuck head just pouted and lost eye contact with me yet again, like she was embarrassed or something. "Please God, TELL me what I can do to prove I'm telling the truth…" I tried to maintain a cordial demeanor, but damn. "... You can start by leaving us alone…" she said with her hands wrapped around her shoulders. Fucking… Hell… Woman… "Well I'll tell you this. I could leave Lucy alone, but I couldn't stop her from coming back." The mention of her newfound codependency made Trish dig her nails a bit deeper in. Maybe I could use this to my advantage. "She stopped talking to you, right?" "Yeah, because you told her to, skinny." Her biting criticism wasn't going to work on me this time. "Because fucking why? Why would I ever tell her to do that, and THEN invite you here? Just so I can go to you like some sort of machiavellian villain?" I knew there was a 50/50 chance that she didn't know what machiavellian meant but I was willing to take that risk just to make a point. "... I understand how manipulation works, dumbass. And no damn ten dollar word you could ever say is going to change my mind." Head in my hands, I wasn't sure what to do at this point. It's been such a short shit show that if I just walked out I'd be no worse for wear. There was only one thing I could mention but… I'm too chicken shit to- "... I remember when you mentioned the whole railgun thing a few months back." That perked her right up. Ah fuck… I may have gotten a bit ahead of myself. "At the time I just brushed it off as, like, a weird thing that I may have done that weirded you out. I admit I was completely selfish, even if indirectly with my interpretation." Her interest was all on me at this point. Something I wasn't fully expecting. She just squirmed a bit. "I think… I understand, more than anyone right now honestly, that everyone is fighting their own battles. Be it of a personal nature, or interpersonal. Maybe, just maybe, you were, and I ignored it. Like how I wanted to ignore everything around me, up until a week ago." I could tell she's trying to stay stone cold. Sad really. "I was very, very close to disaster. I'm still very close, but now I'm close enough to this one person who took a chance on me, and I realize just how much everyone needs help." The persona didn't slip, but the silence spoke volumes about the true self. "I just wanted to thank you for what you did. If I can't convince you, then I can make amends to that. I just wanted to help." I got up from my chair, still cold from the water and left a bit of cash on the table as a sort of apology to the staffers here. Trish was still silent, but I desperately didn't want to look her in the eye any longer than needed. I felt like I was giving her space that way. The door will forever be open, but the ball is in her court now. My pterodactyl needs me.