She was awake and alive, but quickly depleting my resources. 

 

Really, if she's gonna keep eating my food, I'm going to have to start charging rent.

 

I did what Naser said and kept a stockpile for whenever Fang was around, but in the past hour it was all gone, and now she's working on my cereal.

 

I offered to cook real food, but she huffed at me. Now she's sitting on my bed with the last bowl of Joy-Os while I sulk on the floor, playing more Xroc.  She had also taken one of my jackets. I'm probably never getting that one back.

 

It's becoming routine at this point. All I wanted to do was… Talk about stuff… But she's unusually quiet now.

 

Aside from a few quick phone calls to her dad and brother, she grunted at me. For food mostly. She sat on my bed playing with her phone in between eating.

 

I sorta understand, but it's kinda frustrating when there's so many questions prodding in my mind. Like hey! What was with the biting and scratching? What is she feeling right now? What do we do going forward?

 

"I want to watch something."

 

Her voice cut through the sounds of the video game gunfire and startled me. Looking behind me I saw her swirling her leftover milk around. 

 

I couldn't get a read on her. When she woke up the second time, she seemed glad to see me, now she's back to being sad and distant. As daylight died, I realized I hadn't done much for myself other than look after her and give her what she wants. 

 

"Well, what do you wanna watch? It's sorta getting late," I responded.

 

She just sorta shrugged and took a big sip out of her bowl. "Well don't you have, like… movies or something."

 

"Yeah. Mostly anime. Stuff you don't like."

 

She rolled her eyes and put the bowl on my desk. 

 

"Well, suggest something. Preferably, not one of your pedophile cartoons."

 

Damn bitch, alright. 

 

"I uh… torrented all of Star Deck: Next Generation the other day."

 

"UGH." She growled, dramatically burying her face into my pillow.

 

"Hey, it's something." I snickered as I got up. 

 

I plugged the PC into my TV for easy access and sat next to her for the first time since last night. Fang didn't seem too thrilled, but whatever. 

 

— 

 

To my surprise, after three episodes, she was hooked. Line and sinker. She was drawn into the well-crafted but still low-budget sci-fi shlock that, a mere hour ago, dismissed as "nerd shit."

 

I had migrated up next to her for a better view, to our backs were pillows to prop us up.

 

Life was really good; for the first time in the last 24 hours, everything was good. Fang was resting on my shoulder all snug. 

 

Comfort. After all we went through. 

 

So much comfort that I felt the need to pause the end credit sequence and fully give my attention to the poor dino. 

 

Wrapping my arms around Fang was sorta a challenge, because of the whole wings thing, but I managed. 

 

The moment could have lasted like this forever and I'd have been content.

 

But, almost unsurprisingly at this point… 

 

Fang pulled me from the back of the head in for a kiss. 

 

The silence that had enveloped us had given way to a breathy embrace that I was all too sure of. On one hand, my primitive monkey brain liked it. On the other, my chest still… 

 

… Before I had a chance to think about it, she grabbed my wrist closest to her. 

 

I wish she would say something at this point. I couldn't read her mind, so I was left in the dark. The only thing I could do was… Tell her how I feel, I guess.

 

"Maybe we should slow down, Fang." I said, breaking away from her embrace. 

 

We both had to catch our breath. She seemed sorta… perturbed, by the notion.

 

"...Fine." she said, quietly.

 

I nuzzled her.

 

—

 

Surprisingly, not everything at school was awful.

 

Fang left my place early to clean up and check in with her folks. She had the decency to wake me up and tell me what was going on this time. I was worried that her parents were gonna ask about the bandages on her arms, but I let her borrow one of my spare hoodies to hide them.



 I avoided eye contact with everyone extra hard when I showed up. Spears called me to check up. He gave me advice that most definitely went over my head, but I just couldn't focus, I was thinking about Fang. Spears was obviously out of ideas, as was I.

 

Naser sorta avoided me. I'm sure he was just tired and not like… mad at me. Maybe I'd text him, maybe I wouldn’t. I guess it came down to what Fang would say.

 

Biggest fear was Naomi. 

 

Music period came by. Fang was wearing a different, black hoodie with pants that were NOT ripped to shit. All black. Surprisingly, she did do her makeup. Priorities. 

 

Sitting down next to her she quickly took my hand, but stayed quiet. I was still a nonverbal autist at this point, but to keep my cool, I squeezed her claw back. 

 

It was obvious she was upset; I could see it in her face. The look she gave staring at the wall was the same look she gave me when we first locked eyes. Angry, frustrated, lacking a way to express any feelings, at least at the moment. The class went by and I felt a bit scared to say anything, but I managed to stay a relatively successful hermit.

 

—

 

"Anon!" 

 

Fang's voice jumpscared me. Just as I was untying my bike, she ran up to me. I was expecting to leave without talking to anyone, let alone her. 

 

"Fang? What's up?"

 

"I uh… W-wanted to a-ask if…"

 

Her stutters threw me off. She looked worried at first, but her face kept twisting until she looked me dead in the eyes.

 

"I need you to walk with me," she settled on.

 

The weather was nice enough. Why not?

 

"Uh sure, where?" I asked.

 

"Just come on."

 

Hesitantly I walked with her side by side. Guess I'd… Come back for the bike later.

 

"So how was your day?" I asked. This is the first candid thing I've asked her in quite a long time. 

 

"Fine. All things considered."

 

"No one gave you trouble?"

 

"Nah, nothing outside the usual." She responded.

 

"I'm glad."

 

The handholding was routine at this point. Strange, because before prom, hand holding was more for getting me to follow. Now, it's for keeping me by her side.

 

—

 

A graveyard. She took me to a graveyard. It only took 30 minutes, but we were here. 

 

Said graveyard was sizable. Most death pits I've seen back home were small plots besides the road with churches over watching them. This one was the size of a park, with walkways and everything. 

 

Summer was around the corner, but you couldn't tell from looking at us. In between the headstone stood two freaks who spend their time finding new and exciting ways to destroy things. 

 

"Anon…"

 

There's my name again. Quickest way to get my attention I guess.

 

"I'm… Really sorry for what happened that night."

 

The stuttering from earlier was mostly gone, so that was cool. 

 

"Pff, it's fine. I've dealt with worse." I say nonchalantly.

 

"But I hurt you!"

 

Fangs volume was raised considerably. She even stopped dead to emphasize.

 

"I fucking hurt you and that's all you have to say?!"

 

She seemed angry from the furrow of her brow. Which is utterly strange for an apology.

 

"I uh, obviously prefer NOT being clawed till I bleed, but… You were having a panic attack. And I'd honestly much prefer you taking it out on something that wasn't yourself."

 

The look on her face was extinguished almost instantly. 

 

"FUCK off," she spat. "Stop playing the nice guy game, that's NOT what I need right now." 

 

"Then what DO you need, Fang? Why aren't you telling me anything? All you do is act out, and it's starting to-"

 

"-I FUCKING DON'T KNOW!" She interrupted.

 

"I was scared! Really fucking scared that night. My life fucking crumbled, in an instant. All I could do was run away, and I was SICK and TIRED of running…"

 

Tiny droplets started to pool under her amber eyes. She took a second to compose herself while I stood there dumbfounded.

 

"... I couldn't take it anymore, so I acted. I did what I wanted, what I REALLY wanted. I fucking hurt you, hoping you would do… SOMETHING that wasn't… putting up with me. But you just stayed there… "

 

"Fang, what the hell was I supposed to do?" I answered.

 

"Nothing… I guess."

 

It took the winged beast a second to pull together any sort of coherent thoughts on the subject. She looked frustrated with her arms crossed and tears in her eyes.

 

"I wasn't exactly going to cut you back," I added. 

 

The stress made her want to sit down with a headstone as a backrest. I sorta stood over her.

 

"Please, don't tell me that you wanted me to hurt you back." I kept up the momentum.

 

"No… I don't know what I want," she said with her head in her hands. 

 

I sat beside her, desperate to understand.

 

"Fang. Please. I want nothing more than to help."

 

"I feel so… chained, I guess." 

 

"How so?"

 

"I realized how out of control everything is. With me, with us. Desperately, I wanted to take back control." She said, reaching her hand out. Once again inviting me to take it.

 

"At that moment, I felt like the only thing I could have done was… sacrifice everything that we had. No matter how extreme things would get, no matter what I did, it would have been better than where I was."

 

Her gaze shot to her feet. She must feel embarrassed.

 

"I thought how… if I… hurt someone I cared about… I could have finally taken control back."

 

"Fang…"

 

"... It felt… Really nice in the moment but… Seeing you in pain made it hurt so much-"

 

I had to cut her off by wrapping my arms tight around her. I was literally on my knees begging her to stop at this point.

 

I couldn't stop my own tears. I hate crying. Crying always led to more punishment at the hands of both my parents and my peers, but here, it's different.

 

She reciprocated, and we spent the next few minutes in each other's embrace. There was a bit of fear in the back of my head over where we were, but I didn’t think Fang necessarily cared.

 

"... I had this idea in my head… about how I wanted this to end. I wanted to put an end to my chains." She said quietly. It really caught me off guard, and I had to pull away a tiny amount.

 

Sniffling I ask, "what do you mean?"

 

"I had this… stupid, fucked up idea in my head. That I was going to… "

 

Fang shut her mouth before any sense came out. All she could do was look away, still crying.

 

"... I don't wanna talk about it." 

[POST-NOTES]
This might be the last ch. Still not sure. More to come.