Summary: In the spirit of bumping into specters, Anon walks blindfolded into town.

Waking up that morning was hard. Not because of the general depression this time though; it's because a cute girl was lying opposite of me and I really didn't wanna give that up. Something about looking at the back of her head just appealed to me. I had to take every detail in and ignore the damp-ness I'm feeling. I noticed she cooed as she slept. Jesus Raptor FUCK does she make cute purring noises while she sleeps, her tail waggling slightly from side to side. Stella had more in common with a cat than anything else. I guess that's the anime influence seeping into her actual being.

 

I wasn’t passing up the opportunity to continue holding her. I settled on keeping my hand on her belly, over her shirt so as to not be too weird about the situation. Considering what she pulled last night, I thought she needed some sensible attention like this and not a sad-girl make out sesh'.

 

It took a few more hours of me being half awake and marveling at the back of Stella's head for her to wake up with a mighty yawn. I gave her space to stretch by sliding myself further on my side of the bed. The mighty dragon lady took it upon herself to do a REALLY big stretch sitting on the side of the bed. I felt the need to join her, so I sat beside her.

 

The last thing I want to come off as is a simp, but seeing Stella smiling at me is like a fucked up spell. Something makes me wanna protect that smile. It's witchcraft maybe: a spell so powerful, I felt compelled to make the best breakfast.

 

Smalltalk led to the question, and the answer was an ecstatic YES, so I made pancakes. Had leftover blueberries too so shit was going to be real good. We talked while I cooked. Our conversations were just about small, insignificant things: anime she watched, games I've played.We had a long night; I was sure neither of us wanted to talk shop on anything too big a concept, but I did wonder about the whole, "Where do we stand in our relationship?" thing. Maybe I'd text her about it later; I wasn’t sure. 

 

We had made a shitty makeshift table out of my desk. She sat on the end of my bed and I got my office chair. Scuffed, but it works. Glancing at her a few times, my high had shot back down to what could be described as a somewhat-low. The whole pretending to be her husband for a bit was fun but a few fears came rushing back. I had eaten so much food on this one desk alone that it felt alien to me to have this beautiful being smiling at me between chomps of breakfast.

 

The more I looked at her the more it hurt me to think of never being able to see this again. Her hair was messy, strands were sticking out in every direction. The bed was a mess too, I think we knocked down a few blankets in our tussle, or maybe her tail has tried to do me a favor and rearranged my sheet for me… onto the ground. A shoulder was poking out her shirt, really the whole thing was jostled about. I could clearly see her bra straps… her entire body was enhanced by the sun peaking through my window, including her hair, which was practically sparkling.

 

You know, It's weird, and I'm probably looking into it further than I need to, but I always pegged her as a morning person, because of the garden shit, but she hasn't gotten up once. 

 

Am I overthinking? Am I reading this wrong? Maybe there is a perfect way to tell her I thought about today as the rest of our lives… 

 

Fuck Anon… it's just the morning after. Calm down. I clutched onto the side of the desk in between us two out of habit. I Need to calm down…

 

"So Anon…"

 

I snapped out of my funk immediately when I felt her hand caressing right over mine. 

 

"... I uh, hope I didn't like… scare you into doing anything last night…"

 

"What? No no definitely not it was good. I liked it."

 

I think she realized where her hand was at and retracted it accordingly, making it just a bit harder to tell how deep things were running. She returned to smiling too, a tiny hint of red bestowed upon her cheeks.

 

"I'm glad. I definitely want more-"

 

"-uhhh time! Together, that is."

 

Her shyness was quite the departure from last night… maybe I am… am not… overthinking this. Fuck, this is hard. We laughed it off, but something was there, I'm half sure of it.

 

After food, I did the gentlemanly thing and phoned my guest a cab. Figured she was getting sick of me, even if she seemed like she was burning time away just to keep talking. Turns out Rosa did text Stella last night, a few times even, to ask where she was, despite Stella telling her exactly where she was at all times and that she was, in fact, with Anon, the non-creepy guy. They were roommates now, so that's pretty cool. Rosa is still the motherly soul I knew her as in high school, even if she did smother people sometimes.

 

The question on my mind was… Lucy. The Lucy question, if you will. I didn't ask Stella off the bat, but I was worried about the whole situation. Turns out they really were trying to mend things with Stella. Despite that, Stella obviously had some doubts and worries in her mind about Lucy. It doesn't help that me being here probably throws a wrench into literally everything. Steggo had texted Lucy when she arrived at my place that she went back to her place by herself. Obviously this illusion would be shattered if Rosa said anything, but I'm not exactly sure if they were on speaking terms anyway, so who knows what would happen! God I hate surprises. 

 

After shuffling her out of the house, life went back to normal, and that sorta hit me like a meteorite. After almost a year of heavy moping, having exactly one day worth of respite from the suffering was not going to fix everything, especially when I realized I had to go back to work tomorrow. Oh well; what I can do is play more 4X games I don’t understand with cyber-criminals. I shot Reed a message also to see if he wanted in. Kinda’ felt bad for leaving him at the party, but I’m sure he would understand. And while I’m at it, may as well keep up the conversion with Stella too. I both love and hate the idea of becoming a social butterfly; is that really my style?

 

 

Weeks have passed since, and life has been getting marginally better. As the autumn leaves continued to fall, the parties became a bit more sporadic. Work was still awful; nothing would ever fix that shit. Was thinking about asking for less hours, but the fear of rent money drying up has kept me on the straight and narrow. Sure, living for yourself is cool, but much like Sir Mix-a-Lot, I can not lie; living so I can see Stella more is waaaaay more cool. Our text conversations have become a daily occurrence. I’ll just be sitting at my battlestation when she’ll send me random music she likes, or tell me about her day, or literally whatever is on her mind. 

 

It’s the small things that make the mundanity worth enduring. It’s small steps from here on out, but that’s okay. I haven't even really talked to her about the whole kissing thing. It’s actually kinda weird; you would think that she would say something about it, but apparently it was just a manic episode and she just sorta wants to brush past it. I say that, but she keeps sending me pics of herself in new outfits and just sorta keeps flirting with me. You would think she would press the issue, but no, and I’m too much of a robot to say anything, so we are stuck in checkmate.

 

Does not help that she has her own life. She got a job at a trading card shop, and from what I can glance it wasn't all that was cracked up to be for her. Filled with creepy guys who somehow have less social awareness than even I do. She’s thinking about quitting, but doesn't wanna get into the food service gig for obvious reasons.

 

So, for obvious reasons I should ask for a job there. Kill multiple birds with one stone, as my shitbag dad would say. I’m not much of a table-top guy but I have watched If the King had a Text-to-Speech Device, so I could fake it till I made it. The plan now was to hang around the card shop with my non-girlfriend and ask for a job. I’m sure the pay will be ass, BUT I don’t care; I’ll figure it out. For the first time in a while I'll just let my self-destructive mindset guide me towards an efficient happiness plan that will HOPEFULLY stick.

 

God I need more smokes…

 

 

 

One thing that haunts me still is the taste of minty death. Fang got me hooked on two things: mentally ill women and cigarettes. Today is the day I leave the gooncave and head into town to spend time with Stella for the first time in two weeks, so beforehand I should stop by one of the nicer drug stores in town, well away from Skin Row to buy cancer sticks. Why not, as a treat, ya know? God fucking bless the irony of going to the pharmacy to buy stuff that'll slowly kill me. It’s fuckin’ cold outside so I bundled up nice and snug in my normal stupid doomer wannabe jacket and beanie for a long walk. I got to take in the sights of funny volcano town with a fresh pair of new eyes that were a little less bloodshot. I noticed things that I never did, like the color of the sky. It’s blue!

 

…Yeah this place sucks. Just like my old home. But hey, at least there’s a bus. 

 

After a short ride, I was on Main Street. Maybe if things go well we could go get food at Moe’s….

 

HahaHAHAHhah no. I don’t need that conversion right now; the past should stay dead. 

 

After a bit of wandering around I stopped by StoneGreens, a tiny little pillbox nestled downtown riiiiight next to a bistro. The cold air outside was replaced by the cold air inside. Like damn dude, I get it but fuck. The cold medical adjacent interior fucked with my sense of space, so much so that I started to wonder around the establishment, completely overshooting the actual objective of my endeavor, in favor of maybe picking up a gift for non-girlfriend. These places always have some sort of plushie/kids toy aisle section, so I may as well. The dino girl at one of the two check-outs even waved at me when I came in, a welcome change of pace from the hood’ drugstore by my place. 

 

Like the sped I am, I walked the the aisles aimlessly for a bit till I found the little corner full of stupid kid stuff. Trading cards, shitty Chinese handheld knockoffs, cheap figures, but most Importantly to me, plushies. My eyes darted back and forth at all the big eyed animals till I landed on a silly looking platypus looking freak. For whatever reason he was green; I’m sure the backstory for this unnatural fuck was really sad and stuff, BUT he’s gonna make a Steggo mildly happy today, so he has that to look forward to. 

 

While I’m here I may as well get ibuprofen. I need that shit for work; I can’t keep bumming em’ off coworkers forever. I hopped over to the section of the store with the good stuff: the actual pharmacy part of the pharmacy, and to my surprise I saw another Dino sitting behind the pharma desk, most likely distracted by her phone on a slow day. A pterodactyl to be specific: red hair, slim wings from the looks of it…

 

…Scrubs were hiding scales that looked familiar. A bit of feather fluff seeped out the sleeves. Amber eyes from what I can see of em’…

 

…no makeup but… I had to avert my attention to the wall of over the counter stuff to catch my breath. She has not looked up at all from what I can tell, but… aside from the hair, that had to be Lucy. Ah fucking hell no. I was NOT letting her see me. I was letting the past fucking die. I didn’t even wanna be in the same room as her. “I gotta get outta here”, was the only thing on my mind as I…

 

…stupidly grabbed a pill bottle making just a bit of noise in the process.

 

Fuck, I froze on the spot. My autism powers were kicking in and I froze up. But like, i was cool. In fact, I was sure that most normal people were not hyper-sensitive to noises in their peripheral ear shot, unlike me. So if I just… stopped standing here like a statue, I could leave as soon as possible and not have to bother anyone. 

 

…

 

I turned my head slowly towards eternity, and to my lack of surprise she was fucking staring right at me.

 

A shot of cold, cold energy shot through my body and into my legs as I booked it to the front of the establishment in a brisk walk. I wasn't gonna run cuz’ that behavior would be indicative of a real stalker. I swore to whatever dino fuck deity is up there I was NOT doing this on purpose. Like how the FUCK was I supposed to know she worked for big pharma? I get women like her are just naturally drawn to pharma but… What the FUCK was I thinking?

 

I got back to the front check-out, trying to give the triceratops worker a "I'm not fucking crazy" look.

 

"Uh just this stuff and a uh… pack of Newports."

 

Despite the urgency I still needed those death sticks. Hell yeah my priorities were in order.

 

"Sure! I just need to see some I.D."

 

You FUCK. 

 

I fumbled my wallet a few times pulling out not only my funny money card but my I.D. wasting meaningful seconds of my life just to prove I could buy retarded shit, when suddenly…

 

…footsteps followed by-

 

"A-anon?"

 

- right behind me. I was midway through giving the cashier my shit when Lucy had made herself known to both me and the triceratops. “It's actually fucking over,” I thought. How do I even respond?

 

"Uh… hey. I guess." I say, slowly turning in her direction.

 

Nailed it, bitches.

 

She looked at me like how an emotionless child looked at a newly deceased family dog. Shocked but stone-faced all the way. A silence came over me, her, and the poor bystander who had to deal with my ugly mug on a stupid plastic card.

 

"Uh, Lucy, do you know this skinny?"

 

"Sadly, yes. And please don't use that word Kim. It's rude." Lucy said, crossing her arms and not breaking eye contact with me.

 

"Damn girl, okay. You do you two." Kim said, continuing to ring up and bag my shit.

 

I just stood there. 

 

"Also, Kim. I'm taking my break now before more show up. Please tell Pharmacist Wesker for me."

 

Her voice was clinical. The rhythm of Fang's voice was nowhere to be heard, this was entirely Lucy.

 

Kim just nodded and gave me back my shit.

 

"I need to talk with you. I think you owe me that, Anon."

 

Fuck.

 

 

 

 

"So… how ya been?" Were the first words out of my mouth after a minute's worth of silence. 

 

Lucy and I had found a bench just outside the establishment and I took it upon myself to sit as far to the side as possible as to not risk even brushing the girl. Seems she was doing the same.

 

Lucy was just sorta… watching the occasional car pass by hunched over. The once ball of energy rendered nothing but a lump and it was a miserable experience. But of course, I couldn't really get a read.

 

She no-sold the question and stretched her legs out, so that was something. I just then noticed how compact her wings were; crazy how they could be anywhere she wanted them to be. It was…something to focus on I guess.

 

Along with the hair. What the fuck was going on with her hair? Her eyebrows for that matter. 

 

"So why didn't you leave?" She called out.

 

"I uh… didn't-"

 

"-You said your plan was to join the army or go to college. Why didn't you?"

 

"I didn't feel like I could handle either, okay?"

 

Really didn't appreciate being cut off, but whatever.

 

"What, were you banking on me leaving town or something?"

 

"No… it's just… I wasn't really expecting you to stick around.” 

 

I was surprised by the lack of anger exuberating from her.

 

“I thought that…. After school was done, I’d never see you again."

 

"Is… that what you wanted to happen?" I asked timidly. She just kept staring at the road, blanked out. Not shaken or anything, just as still as a body or deep water.

 

"Can I get a cigarette?" She asked, still not breaking concentration. I fumbled the pack out my bag and fished up my lighter from my pocket and handed them off. I still felt stiff as a plank, absolutely nervous to the bone.

 

But she just took what I had nonchalantly and leaned forward to get a better position to light up. She took a long drag… only to then start coughing it up like she had never done the deed before. 

 

Took a few more tries but she figured it out. But at that point I realized I was just sitting here watching my ex struggle to smoke a single cig while my best friend in the world was waiting for me. I had to do something.

 

"Look, I really don't wanna be rude but… what was the plan here?" I blurted out. "Like I'm sorry, I've been trying my best to give you an infinite amount a space to let you live your life-"

 

"So you’re looking to abandon me again?!" She cut me off. It was the first hint of emotion that came from Lucy this entire time and it was a desperate cry for something. In anger she let the cigarette fall from her hand and she stomped on it 

 

"That's not what I… that's not what I fucking wanted to do!" I returned fire, raising my voice to match hers.

 

Lucy looked at me like I had just killed a defenseless animal. "You… fuck…"

 

"Was I supposed to reach back out? After YOU told me to never talk to you again?"

 

"I was just… really hurt but…"

 

Her eyes shot back to the road once more. Obviously she was wrestling with something with how her expression changed back into that neutral listless thing she was doing a second ago.

 

"The idea of the one person in my life that I could trust… I didn't…"

 

I could see her hands clutching her pant legs something fierce. My heart was sinking watching her mull over pent up feelings.

 

After taking a few deep breaths, she looked at me again. "... I've had… a lot of time to think about what happened senior year. At the time it felt like the end of everything. Like that was it for me, even the one person, who I shared my scars with more than anyone, saw me as a burden. I realized I… may have been the problem all along…"

 

"That night… prom night… I thought about… a lot. I thought about what I wanted, what was best for me, who I could trust, what I was… supposed to do. Nothing helped. I couldn't wait for anyone to save me this time… so I reached out. I played Russian roulette with the names on the phone and I called someone who I realized at the time I had… wronged. If she didn't pick up I… probably would not be here now."

 

I sat there pretty much completely hushed with what felt like a knife in my chest. I owe it to her, after all.

 

"Stella left prom to come stay with me that night… the poor woman had to baby me, I was so fucked up. I apologized for everything me and my friends put her through over the years. I had to think of something to do that didn't involve you or anyone else for that matter. At that moment the only thing I could think about was atonement."

 

"After that, everything made sense. For the first time in a while I had everything figured out. I had to, or else I would die. I apologized to my mother, father, especially Naser before he left for college. I had gotten rid of my toxic friend group who… I don't blame them for encouraging the whole non-binary thing, but it just wasn't me. Their behavior was indicative of a lot worse, so I had to get rid of all of it. I understand that now. It took me years, but I get it."

 

I was surprised by all of this. So she just sorta fizzled out of things, that was a real surprise.

 

"I stopped dying my hair. I stopped pursuing music, and now I work as a pharmacy tech. My dad helped me land it. I live by myself and Stella is my only real… close friend." 

 

"It uh… doesn't sound too bad," was the only thing I could muster.

 

"No… not really. I'm actually thankful that this all happened. Everything is chill. The worst thing to happen yet was getting stuck at a party that Stella had invited me to."

 

"Wait, that was Stella's idea?"

 

"Yeah… sorry about that whole ordeal. I just… really wasn't ready to see you."

 

Ahhhh fuck. What the FUCK was any of this. This entire time I thought it was completely the other way around and Lucy was dragging her friend to shit. That was wild.

 

"So she offered to run interference for your sake huh… nice of her at least."

 

Lucy just huffed at the comment. Her foot was still crushing the butt of the cigarette on the ground.

 

"Tell me about it… I got outta there as soon as possible. Sucks she just sorta went home after."

 

Yeah… really sucks.

 

"Anon, I'm sorry. There's no better way to put that. I'm just sorry about everything."

 

"There's absolutely nothing to be sorry about… I'm the one who betrayed your trust…" 

 

"You certainly did fuck up, but to hold what happened in fucking high school against you would be crazy. You could have done way worse. Like what you did was NOT cool-"

 

"Yeah yeah. I know, intimately, what I said wasn't cool." 

 

"-but we were drunk, and angry at the situation. And at the end of the day… I realized… I was hiding behind this person that wasn't me. This entire time, I wasn't me. It was either continue down that course and live off nothing but spite, or give in to myself."

 

I nodded at her as I lit up my own cancer stick. Hearing all of this was… different than what I was expecting at this meeting, but it was somewhat welcomed. The minty goodness hit the back of my throat as I saw her lean in just an inch closer to me.

 

"Anon… I know you and Stella have been talking a bit more… Maybe we three could hang out?"

 

"I guess, yeah sure! I guess? This seems sorta sudden."

 

She backed off just a smidge. "Y-yeah I get that… it's just… Stella has been getting me out of the house just a bit more. I figured, ya know, I could start trying to be proactive."

 

Oh Jesus, that was the last thing I was expecting. What, she wanted to be friends? Now? I guess but…

 

"Well, sure. But that seems crazy to me, and kinda, I'm not sure… sudden?"

 

Lucy locked eyes with mine, seeming a lot more soft and loose than before. The momentum shift was nice, almost lovely. Like light was shining into my isolated cave I've been bumbling around in for a while.

 

"We're not kids anymore… I'm sure it'll be fine."

 

I can't get over Lucy's voice. It's weird to hear this side of a person I know in such a radically different way. I'm not sure if…

 

Whatever. Everything is fine. Everything feels brand new. It lit me up.

 

 

 

We said our goodbyes and I headed off to the card shop, expecting to be slightly late to the occasion. I hoped the plush would be sufficient enough as a "Sorry I was talking to my ex" gift for Stella. Actually, having thought more about the situation, I probably had to choose my words carefully when broaching the subject with her. From the way Lucy and Stella talked about each other, I wasn’t sure if they were on the same page. 

 

There was definitely a miscommunication between both parties. Maybe I would try and fix…

 

…fix…

 

…oh holy Jesus mother of fuck. 

 

Yeah okay, I got it now Moe, I fucking got it. Only, I didn't. Was his advice even applicable here? Was I really supposed to just… not do fucking anything?

 

I was setting off a panic attack as my feet started to move a bit more quickly to my final destination of the day. There was still daylight but I realized being alone with my stupid thoughts was definitely not the best idea. 

 

I saw the shop over the horizon as I sprinted. I gotta say, it's a very comfy looking place. Had a cool science fiction theme going on; didn't calm my heart rate down any. Walking into the front door, one of the few tables where taken up by a few nerds playing some sort of game, shelves full of board games and booster packs, bins full of loose cards, but the real star of the show with the green girl behind the counter at the side of the room.

 

She was standing hunched over her phone. Her outfit wasn't too different from the party. Different band shirt, ripped long jeans, no makeup, same hair. It took her a second to realize I was here, but when she did she was ecstatic. Despite being late, she wasn't miffed at all. 

 

"Anon!" She squeaked, getting the attention of the table of geeks before they went back to doing geek stuff. 

 

"Yeah, sorry I'm late. I got held up. But I do bring gifts. Exactly one gift."

 

I put the plastic bag on the register counter and pulled out the stuffed animal. Like a moth to a flame, she took to the sorry looking fuck, rotating him like how wizards rotate their orbs.

 

"Awwwe, he's so cute!" 

 

"Glad you like him." Because the thing was fucking $20. 

 

We spent the rest of the 3 or so hours just catching up with our lives at another table. Unsurprisingly nothing much had happened in the intervening week since we started talking again, but the more  time I get to listen to her ramble, the better.

 

"So I… did see someone on the way over." I interjected. 

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yeah I saw Lucy while she was working." 

 

I watched Stella bite her lip a tiny amount at the notion, looking timid.

 

"How did uh, that go?"

 

"Actually pretty fine. We talked for a bit. I think we're more than cool now."

 

Surprisingly she didn't seem too thrilled. A head tilt and a half smile at least told me she's as cool as we are. This also probably tells me I was right about my guess early. I did start to think it was weird that Stella invited her to go out though. Must be complicated.

 

What wasn't completed was the whole asking for a job thing, right? "Also, before things get too late, did you ask your boss if I could work here?"

 

"Yeah, but the only answer was-"

 

Just then, I felt the hand of a reptile fuck land right on my left shoulder. "Skinny wants a job? Why should I?"

 

I turned around to find a somewhat aged yellow velociraptor towering over me. I froze like a popsicle.

 

"Hey Mr Wheeler! This was the person I told you about." 

 

Unlike Lucy, Stella didn't tell the guy off for calling me a slur. But to be fair, he said it in a much nicer tone.

 

"Yeah I uh… would love to work here."

 

"Well… you's don't look too's different than the clientele, apart from the racial part's" 

 

Ah yeah, you too fuckhead.

 

"I may need's a second guy here to make sure no one's steals any of the merchandising. I'll give it a thought or two."

 

Really? Just like that? 

 

"Well thanks for the consideration at least Mr uh… Wheeler."

 

"Hey don't let's Stella's ova there fool ya. The name's Joey."

 

Fuck me.

 

—---------------------------------

 

It was getting dark, so it was closing time. I did the gentlemanly thing and walked Stella back to her car in the back. 

 

"I'm really glad you made it, and hopefully I can convince Joey to let you work here."

 

"Yeah, definitely. Thanks for having me."

 

We hugged. I got one more good look at her tail, so that made today actually worth it.

 

"And if uh… I didn't seem too thrilled about Lucy… it's just because I was tired." She added on like there was something to prove.

 

"No worries. Actually, being around you two would probably be great for me. I think Reed's crypto speeches were starting to brainwash me, so being around anyone else is good to keep me balanced."

 

She chuckled and gave me a peck on the cheek. Overall a really good day. "Do you need a ride anywhere? I uh… could take you to your place?" She shuttered just a bit. I could tell she wasn't thrilled at the idea. 

 

"Pfff, nahhhhh. I could just walk it. Or maybe you could uh… get me halfway there-"

 

"Orrrr you could stay the night at my place!"

 

Haha. Danger.

 

"I-I guess if you want."

[POST-NOTES]
    First and foremost I want to thank @LilDrawingboy on Twitter for the art. for all the jokes I make about Twitter artists, dude works incredibly fast and he literally just opened up his commissions and I absolutely recommend him for all of your Snootfan needs.

    Second, I wanna thank big papa BuffPuff helping fix the embarrassing number of mistakes within the last draft of this fic. Man is a true bro and even helped with a few creative decisions.

    Last but definitely not least, I wanna thank the people who read the first chapter. I know I didn't indicate it as the first chapter in a story that's only because I'm very stoopid.

    Gonna try and keep up the updates every Friday. Definitely more to come. Have a good weekend.