Summary: "Stay with it and you can live a lifetime in that split second."

 “Got your shit?”

 

I think I did. I didn’t really have much to begin with here. Phone, wallet, cane, sweater, beanie, pants… yeah pretty sure I was good to go.

 

Today I would be making new friends, yay! And by that I meant, I would be heading to a pizza parlor and meeting two strangers. My nerves were frayed at the mere thought. A people person Anon was not. But if Fang wanted me to meet her friends then I couldn’t say no.

 

“Yeah I'm good to go, what about you?” 

 

“What about me?” Fang's arms crossed over her chest.

 

“You’re going out like that?” She scoffed.

 

“It’s what I wear everyday.” 

 

“It’s cold out there.” I eyed her tank top. “You sure you’re good?”

 

“Yes mom!” Her eyes rolled as she sneered at me. “Trust me, it gets pretty hot when you’re up on stage for a few hours.” 

 

Alright, fair enough I suppose.

 

“Then I guess we're good to roll.” I limped my way to the door first and held it open, shivering a bit as the cool air swept in. Yeah you have fun in that little top, I’ll be bundled in front of the heater.

 

“God you’re a wuss.” She snarked as she slipped by me, the arm of her bass nearly brushing my chin as I leaned out of the way.

 

I shrugged and snugged my beanie a little tighter, noticing for the first time the little tear that snipped up the left side. This time when I shuttered it had nothing to do with the cold…

 

Despite her bravado I couldn’t help but notice how quickly she marched towards the car. She tossed the bass in the back before quickly cranking the engine. 

 

I took my time moseying along with my cane. I was definitely going to try and conserve my strength, no telling how long we would be out and I didn’t need to be carried back.

 

I almost ate shit when Fang blared the horn right as I was walking past the front, making me jerk and steady myself on the hood.

 

“Sorry old timer, didn’t mean to scare ya.” I tried to ignore her as I pulled myself into the seat.

 

“Yeah well, you’re just lucky I didn’t bash a headlight in.” I shook the cane in my best ‘why I oughta’ motion I could, drawing a chuckle out of her. 

 

As we pulled out I noticed her turn the radio down. Well that makes me nervous. I guess she feels like talking this time.

 

A solid minute of silence reigned as I waited for something to happen. Each second ticked my nerves just a little bit higher. I was just about to comment on the weather when Fang finally said something.

 

“So… Naomi.” Her eyes glanced at me. “What did you think of her?”

 

Honestly I wasn’t sure what I thought of her. It felt like everyone around me had changed while I had stayed the same, spinning my wheels without going anywhere. It made me feel worse knowing that people could change, I just hadn’t.

 

“I don’t know honestly. I mean, she seemed real, er.. not faking if that makes sense?”

 

“Did she say anything about me?” Fangs claws picked at the steering wheel, drawing my attention to the grooves etched into it.

 

“I don’t think so?” Besides the off handed Trish comment, which felt like an actual accident. “Were you expecting her to?”

 

“I don’t know.” A sigh escaped her snout as she propped her head up on a hand. “Naser says she doesn’t but he’s a pretty biased source. I… want to trust her I think but…” 

 

“Not sure if she's legit?” She only nodded. “I'm not sure either. She feels different, but I'm not sure how much that means. She said she wants to be my friend for real this time, but saying and doing are completely different things.”

 

“She’s been doing alright I guess.” Fang has a thoughtful expression on her face. “I just can’t help but feel uncomfortable around her.”

 

“That’s understandable after all that happened I think.” More understandable if they just never spoke to each other again honestly. “You're a better person than me though I’ll say that.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that.” I could barely hear the mumble. “I wasn’t in a position to start kicking and screaming about her, so I shut my mouth and somehow it led to here.”

 

Eh, still better than me. I probably would have called her a slur before giving her the finger. 

 

There was another question nagging in my head. One that was no doubt uncomfortable, and it would also most likely be well within ‘dredging’ territory. But it was one I found I needed to ask. I needed to start putting in some fucking effort in my life.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

“Huh?” She glanced over, surprise evident on her face. “I mean, yeah? Why what’s up?”

 

“Nothing… just um.” Come one Anon where’d those balls of yours go, just say it! “We never really got to talk about what happened a few nights ago.” Ok good job, hard parts over.

 

“Oh.” Fang's lips pulled back in a grimace. “That.” I nodded, quickly losing my nerve. “That hasn’t happened in a while now. Look… fuck!” 

 

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” I could actually hear her grind her teeth together. “I just wanted to know if you’re ok.”

 

“I’m fine!” I quickly found the window a much better place to look as she snapped at me. I fiddled with my cane a bit until I heard a sigh. “Sorry. I… I don’t like the thought that you saw me like that. They said I’m past the physical withdrawal, that only the mental is left. But it only takes a thought to flip the switch and I’m drooling for a taste!” A feral growl rumbled in her throat. “A single slip, a bad day, one more taste… and I’m right back where I started! It feels like I’ll never fucking shake this!”

 

I tried to picture what she might be going through. I don’t think I could though. Hell, I was starting to sweat for a cigarette and it had only been a few days. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. It must be harder than anything I’ve ever faced.

 

“You will.” I put all the confidence I had into my voice. “You're strong, stronger than whatever hold this has on you.” Fang was a fucking inspiration, she had more right than anyone else to collapse and give up. But here she is, clawing her way back to her feet. “And you won’t be facing it alone. Naser’s always there for you, he always has been.” Naser may be a dick, but he’s also a bro. Probably the most stand up guy I’ve ever known.

 

“Don’t tell him I said this…” Fang's voice was low, but her breathing was calming down and her snarl had unraveled. “But I really do love him. Makes me feel awful thinking about how we used to be.”

 

“You’ll have me too.” Fuck it, before I lose my nerve again. “You said I couldn’t run anymore, so I’m not. I.. never got to thank you. For that night. You saved my life.” Fang’s wings shifted behind her while I took a second to digest my thoughts. “I got your back.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say to properly convey my feelings. I just hope the emotion in my voice was enough.

 

“God you're a dork.” I barely heard her, eyes locked on the road as she drove. “You don't owe me anything.”

 

“Debatable.”

 

“No it's not.” A small grin finally pricked at her lips. Before I knew it we were in front of the pizza parlor, Fang pulling into a handicapped spot in front. Huh, you know I think I actually have one of those little hanger things somewhere.

 

“Hey.” A voice stopped me before I could open the door. Fang was resting on her hand, looking out her window. “Thanks for.. you know, saying that stuff.” Before I could respond she popped her door open. “Alright let's go, you got new friends to make!”

 

I popped the door and followed her out. She nabbed her bass from the back and marched up to the door. I was lagging behind with my cane, each step a reminder of my close shave with death. Well, that and the bandages up my face…

 

The inside was exactly how I remembered it, though it was only a couple days since I last saw it so that’s to be expected. Only difference was it was a bit more empty than I was used to seeing it. I don’t think I’ve ever been here this early.

 

I hobbled after Fang towards a table where two dinos sat, one of them with an arm raised, motioning in our direction. A dark green man and a pale cream woman. 

 

I recognized the dude. He wasn’t wearing the jacket I last saw him in but I remember eating his sandwich. I tried to place what species they were but was coming up blank. I think a raptor of some kind? They all look alike to me…

 

I notice both sets of eyes snap to me, one set glancing down towards the cane while the other went straight to my face. 

 

“Sup man. Good to see you on your feet.” Jacob stood and reached a hand out to me, which I promptly shook. 

 

“It’s good to be here.” I took a seat with a small sigh of relief. From the parking lot to the table wasn’t as far as the trip to my apartment, but I could still feel the burn.

 

“Hey I’m Skyler, lead vocalist and guitarist. Fang… has told us a lot about you.” The small cream colored one I also recognized vaguely from my peripheral view of the stage when Fang played. 

 

“Anon.” She took the hand I offered and gave it a shake.

 

“I figured as much. Fang isn't the type to be bringing random skinnies around.” Her voice was as rough as her singing one. Not quite ‘smokes a pack a day’ rough, but more of a husky ‘if I try to hit a high note my voice will crap out’.

 

“Got you a water, didn’t really know what you drank, Anon.” 

 

“Water’s perfect, thanks.” I took a sip from the glass, I had acquired a new found taste for it recently. Turns out being dehydrated 24/7 from only drinking soda made you feel like shit.

 

“Sup.” Fang leaned her bass on the table. “Y’all this is Anon, Anon meet Silver Dream.” A little late on the introduction but I nodded anyway.

 

“So.” Skyler wasn't about to let this drift into awkward silence I see. “I'm not about to beat around the bush here, I just want to know if you're in some sort of shit.” I shook my head. “Come on, we're all from Skin row here, I'm not about to judge you. Just want to know if this shit is going to bounce back onto Fang.” Fair enough again.

 

“It won’t.” I put whatever confidence I had left after the car into it. “It’s done and over.”

 

The delayed silence finally kicked as Skyler eyed me. I didn't blink as I held her gaze. Finally she relented, instead casting her eyes over to Fang, who was fiddling with one of her necklaces. 

 

“Well?”

 

“It’s done!” Fang seemed to be a bit off guard at being addressed. “Like completely. Anon’s alive, healing, no problems I swear. I’ve told y’all everything’s fine.”

 

Skyler deflated with a sigh, hands propping her head up. 

 

“Sorry to spring that on you. I wanted to give you some space during the last few days. You’ve been a bit… high strung at practice. Then Jacob talking about how y’all killed a guy.”

 

“Woah now!”

“Hang on a minute!”

 

Fang and I locked eyes before she nodded for me to continue. I also took the time to do a quick sweep of the parlor to make sure any curious ears hadn’t heard.

 

“We didn’t kill anyone.” Jacob sighed in relief. “Fang wasn’t even involved, she just happened to find me afterwards.”

 

“Wait so what happened?” Mister ‘the less I know the better’ asked. “I know you didn’t go to the hospital or the police.” 

 

“Just…” Alright genius let's see you get out of this one. I mulled the question around in my head. “Look, I knew the guy who shot me.” Alright that’s good. Wouldn’t call the police on a friend right? “He was having a mental breakdown, we got in a fight, I pushed him and the gun went off when he fell.” That sounded believable, add in some mental drama and people won’t want to push it. 

 

“So you didn’t even go to the hospital?” I noticed Skyler’s eyes trailing the bandages on my face.

 

“Didn’t have a good cover story thought up, I was kind of out of it.” I shrugged. “His gun wasn’t exactly legal either. He’s a good kid.” I lied. 

 

“I arrived right as it happened.” Fang cut in. “I told you guys I was finally going to make this bitch nut up and talk to me. So I followed him. Stopped in a parking lot nearby and got my speech ready to tear into his ass.” She shuddered a bit. “Got there just in time to see him get half his face blown off…”

 

“I’m sorry to hear that..” Skyler's judgmental eyes softened. She shook her head. “Fuck that sounds rough.”

 

“I called Naser and had him stitch it up. But it's done, like done done.” 

 

Jacob shifted in his seat and leaned forward, resting his head on his hand.

 

“Thank god…” He looked at me, eyes widening a bit. “Um.. again not good that you got shot man, just.. y’know, glad I wasn't going to be complicit in a murder.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, I know it’s a weird situation.” I shrugged my shoulders. “So you have nothing to worry about, none of this will even be near Fang or Naser if I can help it.”

 

They both nodded, hopefully my words placated their worries. I focused on the glass in front of me, using it to keep my mouth busy and my tongue from drying out.

 

“Soo.. how did you two meet?” It took effort to keep the liquid from going down the wrong pipe.

 

“Hey!” Fang Interjected.

 

“Nope, zip it. You’ve been stone walling us the entire time, but I got the man himself in front of me now.” Fang groaned and slumped onto the table. Jacob had perked up as well, clearly curious but more polite than his girlfriend. “I just want to finally hear about the mysterious Anon. A face in the crowd I was never allowed to talk to.”

 

Sounds like Fang was tight lipped with them. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was allowed to say to them.

 

Fang wasn’t any help. When I gave her a glance she was still slumped against the table, chewing a straw to pieces.

 

“Well what do you know?” She shrugged.

 

“Not much. Know you two dated, broke up, you disappeared, now you’re back.” Oh, well that’s almost the whole story.

 

“Pretty much. Met in high school when I moved. Through the weird circumstances of life we ended up dating.” And a weirdly manipulative parasaur. “I was a complete asshole dick and Fang had enough. One day I was especially assholish and she kicked me to the curb. I ran from my problems and ended up in the Navy.”

 

“Huh.” She looked almost.. disappointed. “Well shit I was hoping for some big story and all I got was a high school drama.” Well when you sit back and look at it like that… But I'd say living it was a little worse than the outside perspective. “So you're staying with Fang huh?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Isn’t that a little.. awkward?” This is one curious little dino. No shit it’s been awkward, go find your ex and sleep on their couch! 

 

It took me a second to see the question wasn’t directed at me, but instead the ptero next to me.

 

“I mean at first yeah.” Fang head finally lifted from the table. “But it’s been.. alright. You know, we talked about stuff and we’re in a good spot.”

 

“Are you sure?” Skyler’s eyes were soft, a small frown on her lips. “Jacob and I can clear the couch off, you know if things are too… awkward. ” She stressed the word.

 

Oh… she wasn’t just curious. She was worried. Of course, I felt a bit stupid now. Naser said they could be trusted, he even relied on them to watch over Fang. Of course they would be worried about me coming in and stressing Fang out. Heck they probably knew much more about the situation than I did. Skyler and Jacob just went up a few points in my book.

 

“No it’s been…” Fang hesitated. “Alright, things were a bit awkward . But it’s good now. Better maybe..” the last part was mumbled out. “Nice having a roommate.” I could agree with that. 

 

“If you say so.” They still looked skeptical. “But remember, you have our numbers. You need anything just call us.” Jacob nodded his head as well.

 

“I know.” 

 

I guess I could add Skyler and Jacob to the list of people who will be there for Fang. For now at least.

 

I decided to be a little proactive and keep the conversation rolling before it crashed and burned. Time to flip the table on them I guess.

 

“So how did YOU guys meet Fang?” I would be lying if I said this question hadn’t popped into my head weeks ago. And it had only bounced around the more I learned about them.

 

“Oh that’s easy.” Jacob finally spoke up, guess the dude's nerves had calmed. “Needed another member after a little falling out we had and Fang was playing on the corner. We’d seen her a few times and knew she had skill.”

 

“We were a little hesitant to approach her though, she had a very.. dangerous look.” Skyler seemed to have trouble finding the right word.

 

“They mean I looked like a strung out junkie.”

 

“No! Not really..” Jacob scratched at the back of his head. “You looked more so.. like she said, dangerous. Tattoos, knife, black makeup, clothes, always glaring at something.”

 

“And the scratching, shaking, sweating.” Fang listed off in a flat tone. 

 

“Well it certainly didn’t help.” He sounded sheepish. “Anyways one day I was being a dumbass and was bragging about the new smartphone I got, just really rubbing it in Sky’s face.”

 

“I still had a flip at the time so he was really digging it in.”

 

“But some snatching dick yanked it straight out my hand and burned off on me before I knew what happened.” Jacob grew a tad bit more animated as he spoke. “Unfortunately he was passing right by Fang, who stuck a foot out and tripped him straight into a freakin curb. I’m talking blood and teeth on the ground, not that Fang cared as she kicked the shit out of him.” That sounds like something old Fang would do. “I got my phone back, Fang stole his wallet, and we let it slip that we were looking for a new member. Took a bit of convincing but all it took was a bit of that starter cash to flow in.”

 

“Yeah I don’t know how much scratch you think playing bass on a curb in Skin Row will get you, but it’s less than you think.”

 

“And we’ve been together ever since.” Skyler’s snarked. “The three fuck ups of Skin Row ready to jam.” She chuckled. “Kind of has the makings of legend doesn’t it? So what do you think?”

 

“Huh?” 

 

“About the band, the sound. You think we got what it takes to make Calderafest?”

 

“Well I don’t really know what Calderafest is, but you got the drive.”

 

“Calderafest is a rock festival, there’s a whole battle of the bands entry you have to go through.” Jacob clarified.

 

I scratched my chin. I wanted to be honest with these people, every time I lie it always comes around to bite me.

 

“Your music has been shifting around, it’s obvious you don’t know what kind of music you want to make. I would say you’re trying too hard, if your sound changes let it. Don’t fight against it.” I took a sip to organize my thoughts. “Don’t make it edgy because you think you have to. If one song is edgy and the next is lighthearted, let it happen. You have passion, that’s what people are picking up on.” Fang up on that stage at Moe’s flicked through my head. “If you believe in what you play, people are going to connect with it, that’s why you have a crowd in Skin Row. You’re one of them, have the same struggles as them, walked the same road as them. Yeah, I think you guys have a shot.” I noticed everyone staring at me when I finished, making me suddenly self conscious..

 

“Well I was expecting a yes or no.” Skyler let out a raspy chuckle. “But I'll take some actual constructive criticism. Though I'm not sure about the whole, multiple genre thing..” She grumbled the last part out, scratching her chin. “Could work I suppose, but I don't know if I got the chops for it.”

 

“Nice to have an outsider listening in.” Jacobs was stretching his fingers in front of him in thought. “We get a bit blind to our own noise. Once you hear something over and over you start to hear what you want to, and not what’s happening.”

 

We took a break to munch on a pizza, getting my wallet shoved back to me again.

 

“You think we pay for this?” Skyler laughed. “Please. They pay US to eat here.”

 

“What kind of arrangement y’all got here?” I'm not gonna lie, I’ve been pretty curious about it. They seem to know the owner as well.

 

“Nothing too big, we’ve known the old man for years.” Jacob spared a second away from the food. “Me and Sky been playing here for years, he gives us some cash and free food, we bring some business and clean the floors after closing.” 

 

“He’s a good guy.” Fang mumbled with a full mouth.

 

We lapsed into silence as we ate. Small talk taking the bulk of the noise. It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. I was brought into the conversation easily enough, but mainly riding passenger as they discussed videos on their phones. 

 

“Oh shit.” Fang suddenly swore, looking at something on her phone.

 

“Hmm?” I turned to look at her. She didn’t take her eyes off her phone as she quickly typed something out.

 

“Nothing.” Her head shook back and forth. “Just my mom.”

 

“Welp.” Skyler stood and stretched, Fang and Jacob following suit. “Time to get ready I guess. Looks like you're sitting front row tonight Anon.”

 

“Need any help setting up?” I wasn’t much of anything but I could plug things in. 

 

A flashback to Moe’s rang through my head again. Maybe I shouldn’t after all…

 

“Nah we leave a lot of shit here. No point in carrying it all back every other day.”

 

“Do you practice here?” It seemed like this wouldn’t be the best place to get the creative juices flowing.

 

“Nah. We got a spot. Jacob works construction in the mornings, he has a little metal building we can use.” Fang slung her bass on her shoulder and started heading towards the small stage.

 

I gave Fang a rock sign and a nod. I hope it looked more encouraging than I felt. I shuffled a bit in the hard seat and tried to get comfortable. Time to see if they improved since I last saw em I guess… Though a few days isn't enough for much change.

 

I couldn't hear what they were saying from where I sat, probably discussing what to play or something, but they had a quick back and forth while Fang plugged her bass into the amp. Jacob lightly tapped his drums in a quick pattern, and Skyler was doing what I assumed to be a vocal warmup with her guitar settling in place.

 

I noticed a small crowd coming in. Mostly small groups of friends chatting and ordering snacks while the band finished setting up. It didn’t take long for them to start playing.

 

I could slowly see Fang's whole demeanor shift. Her smile dropping, eyes losing their life. And by the time she strummed she was gone. A ptero stood in her place wearing her face, but it wasn't Fang.

 

It hurt more than it ever did before, my hand clenching at my chest as I watched her. Fuck me. I almost wanted to run up on stage and pull her off.

 

Why did she do this to herself? It didn't make sense, she looked fucking miserable.

 

I shook my head.

 

She doesn't do it because she wants to you idiot! It's a job for her now, it makes her money so she can take care of your cripple ass!

 

Focus Anon, listen to them. The best thing I can do right now is focus and help their music. But it was hard. My eyes kept being drawn to Fang’s face, it threatened to bring all the echoes of regret to the forefront of my mind. 

 

I forced my eyes shut and channeled all of my energy into my ears. Probably actually listening for the first time in my entire life. Focusing on each string and tap.

 

They were… good. Better than I was giving them credit for. Skyler's voice added a soul that touched deep, clearly feeling linked to the music she sang. I could also hear when she got ahead of the others, leaving Jacob to increase his tempo slightly to catch up. He did so with a fluidity that could only come from years of playing together. Fang didn’t let herself get left behind either, quickly adapting to the singer's flow only a hair slower then Jacob had.

 

Fang was better than I remembered her being. Though my only view of her playing bass was pretty skewed from high school. She linked the music together near perfectly, enhancing the guitar and drums. The flow seemed to stem from her cords, gently slowing down as she reined in the lead.

 

I peeked open my eyes and instantly regretted it. Regardless of how cool and collected she sounded, Fang was clearly on autopilot as she strummed. 

 

I wished there was something I could do. Here I was again, sitting on my butt like a dumbass while Fang was in pain! I owed her so fucking much, I just wanted the chance to pay her back. Is that too much to ask God? 

 

What would I even do? Pay rent like Naomi brought up? Would she take my money? It seems like everyone likes throwing it back in my face like I’m some sort of charity case!

 

…Charity case…

 

-Wish she would just let us buy her a guitar, but she hates feeling like a charity case.

 

Holy shit. This was either the best idea, or the worst. 

 

It would be fine right? I owe her literally my life, she wouldn’t be able to call ‘charity case’ on it, right? Hell I owe her five thousand times more than a stupid guitar! 

 

I pulled my phone out and cycled through my list of ghosts until I found Naser’s number and shot him a rambled word vomit that hopefully got my thought process across. 

 

I felt a giddy excitement pump through me that I hadn’t felt in years.

 

That’s right Anon, it’s time to start taking steps on your own! No gun to your head, no easy way out. 

 

Stop being a fucking passenger in your own life and grab the wheel! 

[NOTES]
And another one bites the dust