A couple weeks later my body finally stops trying to forcefully eject my breakfast every morning so Anon and I decide to celebrate the band’s success by going back where we’d started for some good food. It’ll be nice to see Dave again, since we haven’t had much time to play there recently. The schedules became hectic as soon as we started getting popular around town, not that he seemed to mind. Business is still good, especially now that he has some small claim to fame as our starting place. We had called ahead and he says he’d close shop early so we can have the place to ourselves to hang out.

Telling my parents was…interesting. I lost hearing in my right ear for half a day when my mom nearly blew out my speaker with her cry of joy. She just kept going on and on about all the things she wanted to do until she wandered away and my dad picked up the phone. He sounded so scared but at the same time I could tell he was trying to be happy for me. He even sent a car seat—not that we need one yet—but it’s still really nice. There was a note on it that was addressed only to Anon. He turned really fucking pale after reading it and wouldn’t show me it. I can only imagine the words my dad had for him. Probably something along the lines of “Fuck this up and I will stuff you in a blender.”

Getting out of bed isn’t such a fucking nightmare now that I don’t lose my lunch doing it. I stretch as I get up, shaking the sleep from my wings, groggily marching my way to the bathroom and trying to ignore the hole I put in the wall just outside. That’s going to eat the security deposit. It’s not like we can’t afford the loss these days, but I need to keep myself under control and not fall back into bad habits.

I brush my teeth, something that amuses Anon to no end even now to see me having to crane my mouth open to reach them all. A quick gurgle of mouthwash later, my teeth are sparkling white. The shower is surprisingly warm for once—guess they might have turned the fucking water heater on today. My hand rests over my stomach; somewhere in there is a little life slowly growing. Not that I enjoy the thought of my body beating the ever-loving crap out of me in the process, but I’ll admit the idea of a little kiddo has grown on me. My only hope is that our inevitable time on the road won’t make them unhappy. We won’t be setting down roots for a while.

Washing my hair takes a little longer each day; it has been growing out surprisingly fast. I love it, though. I didn’t feel like myself for a long time, not since I shaved it off. My hair was something I had thrown away in my sorrow that I am all too happy to get back. I step out of the shower, drying off before putting on a nice short-sleeve black sweater and sweatpants—winter hasn’t given up yet and I don’t want to freeze. I comb my hair back, tying it into a ponytail a little below my crest. To be honest, it feels nice to be able to do that these days. Throwing on some eyeshadow, I walk back into the living room. Anon is still snoring away on the bed looking about as comical as he can sprawled out on the covers.

I pass by him, standing in front of the window taking in what can be called “the sights” of Skin Row. It won’t be much longer till we leave this part of town for good. We have saved up plenty, ever since we started doing bigger and more successful shows. It’s been hectic trying to keep enough merch in stock; Anon set up print-to-order t-shirts online which helps a fuckton but we still have to keep enough merch on hand for the shows. I reach for the pack of cigarettes on the windowsill, stopping myself short as my fingers graze the package. I can’t do that anymore either, which fucking sucks but if I don’t want to give birth to a kid with a billion health issues, I have to be careful. It isn’t just my life I’d ruin now. At least I was down to just one a day or so, but I’ll still miss that one relaxing smoke I had left.

 I look at the cracked pavement of the street below, dusted with trash bags and empty beer cans, a place where dreams come to die. Except mine. I watch the homeless on the streets setting up their cardboard conclaves, each sharing what little they have, surviving in numbers where they would be screwed alone.

A thought crosses my mind as I take in the depressing sights. I can do something about this…not now, but someday. I’ll be getting out of here but so many other downtrodden souls are trapped here forever, a cycle of misery until they kill themselves or get murdered. If we get enough attention, I can set up fundraisers to try to dig this street out of the dumps, maybe a shelter and a goddamn soup kitchen so people don’t starve to death on the streets.

In the middle of my thoughts, I hear rustling behind me before a tired yawn escapes Anon as he stumbles over to me, leaning on my shoulder. “Hey, sweet tooth. Good morning.”

I flick the tip of his nose for calling me that with a smirk on my beak. “Good morning, dweeb. How’d you sleep?”

He holds a hand over his mouth as he lets out another massive yawn. “Like a fucking log. How about you? Any kicking going on down there?”

I roll my eyes with a groan. “I slept well but you do know it’s going to be a while before that even starts, right? It’s not like they are instantly fully formed in there rearranging my guts. Not that I’m looking forward to that.”

He wraps an arm around my back, pulling me close. “I’ll be honest, I barely understand any of what’s about to happen. I’d be lying if I said I’m not excited about it, the end of it, not the you fighting against your whole body thing. Never pictured myself as a dad but I’m warming up to the idea.”

I gently wrap a wing around his shoulder, resting a hand on my belly. “I can’t lie…as much as it freaked me out to think I could lose everything, I don’t hate the idea. I just hope they don’t mind being on the road so much.”

“That’s what tour busses are for. We’ll get them the most soundproofed room we can afford so they don’t stay up all night listening to the band. A bit of technology in there so we know if they need us and bam! Mobile childcare facility.”

My lips purse as the idea of him handling tech instantly makes me think of the burnt hole in the mattress. “Anon, do not blow up our future kid with your ideas.”

He laughs as he shakes his head with a grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll hire professionals. I promise wholeheartedly to not accidentally explode our future progeny with my ideas.”

I stand there blinking in mild terror. “That’s…comforting. I think.”

“I do my best to comfort you, my rock goddess. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta take a whiz.” He yawns again before stretching and heading to the bathroom, slamming the door shut with his elbow.

Left alone again with my thoughts, I keep watching the crowd below. Never thought that I’d end up in a spot where maybe I can do something for someone else, but I feel too many people have dug themselves out of hell only to forget where they came from. I can’t do that to these people…so many of them came to see me when I had no hopes and no dreams, and I owe it to them to give them the chance I was given.

I look over to the bathroom door, a soft joyful smile on my face. I never thought there would be a day he’d have come back, but now I can’t see myself anywhere else but with him as we climb to the stars. I turn to look out the window one more time, closing my eyes as I sigh.

“I’ll come back for you, Skin Row. I won’t let any more dreams die in this miserable place, not if I can help it.”

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice the bathroom door opening or Anon sliding in beside me, and his sudden reappearance causes me to jump with a yelp.

“Holy fucking shit!” I hold my hand over my heart as I exhale, calming my nerves. “Raptor Jesus, don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Sorry Fang, I didn’t mean to. I just saw you looking all dour by the window and I wanted to see if you were alright.”

I take his hand in mine, interlocking our fingers as my nerves recover. “It’s okay. I was just looking out there, seeing so many people living in the shit. I want to do something about it, Anon. When we make it big and we are rolling in so much cash we won’t even know what to do with, will you help me with something else?”

“Sure, anything you need I’m here for it. What did you want to do?”

I turn to face him, taking his other hand in mine, gazing into his eyes. “I want to come back and help them, set up shit so we can get them off the streets and make Skin Row not such a fucking nightmare of broken dreams. This place didn’t suck this bad when I was growing up. I want to bring it back to life.”

He just smiles back at me, that big happy smile of his as he presses his forehead against mine. “I’d be fucking happy to help. Never would have gotten anywhere without those dedicated people at Pizza Time. We owe it to them to put a fresh coat of paint on this shithole.”

I beam with joy as I wrap my wings around him. “Thank you so much! I knew you would help…well, I didn’t know but I really hoped you would. Fuck, I need to really get to work if I want to pull this off—”

He puts a finger to the tip of my beak. “Work later. Today we’re gonna go hang with everyone. There is a time for planning and a time for celebration. Now let’s go see Dave and eat some of that delicious pizza he’s been turning out lately.”

“You’re right! I can’t wait to see how the place looks after we’ve been gone for so long. I still feel bad that we had to leave him, but he tells me all the time about how well he’s doing these days. Plus, that pizza of his…” My tongue runs across my lips. “I neeeeed it.”

“Let’s get going then and pick everybody up. It’s party time!”

He snags the keys off the counter after throwing some clothes on and we head downstairs and hop in the van and speed off. A few quick trips later we have gathered up the rest of the band and we’re soon parking out in front of Pizza Time. The serious security systems on the van plus the fact we see where we’re parked from the inside will be enough to deter the chop shop people that wander the streets.

I knock on the employee entrance and wait. I hear the sound of heavy footsteps approaching before the door slowly pushes open. I don’t even get to say a word before Dave scoops me up in his arms and swings me around in the air.

“Fang! My girl it has been too long since I’ve seen you. How’ve you been? How’s the band? You rich yet?”

He asks questions a mile a minute as I struggle to get air in my lungs from the force of his arms around my ribs. The only thing I can do is squeak out a few gasps of air before he releases me seeing my face turning blue.

“Oh shit, sorry Fang. I got a little overexcited. It’s been over a month since you guys stopped by.”

Hunching over and wheezing as I shakily give him a thumbs up, I finally catch my breath. “It’s…it’s okay, Dave. Just be gentle with me, okay?”

I can’t see her, but I feel Trish’s gaze on me at that moment. That piercing stare can penetrate all the way through the back of your head. Dave helps steady me in his arms, checking to make sure he hasn’t broken anything.

“Sure thing. Now come in everyone, got plenty of pizza ready for all of you, some herbie stuff too if anyone needs.”

Both Trish and Stella smile wide at the thought of pizza they can actually eat as Dave leads us inside. The kitchen looks amazing—everything clean and shiny, and he even put in a second oven. Business must be booming. Out in the dining area, the tables have been refinished and none of the chairs are missing legs anymore. The lighting isn’t as dim and depressing as it once was, only a handful of soft bright lamps being needed to light the place up. Hell, even the stage is clean, a few scattered fliers showing he’s got a couple bands that play here these days…perhaps hoping for their own big break.

“Here you guys go! We’ve got two meat specials, an all-veggie pizza, and several pepperoni and cheese for those who like some basic goodness. There’s a pile of cheesy bread and cinnamon twists and some beer and soda in the corner…have at!”

He doesn’t need to tell us twice as the entire room is already salivating at the sight and glorious smell of so much freshly baked pizza. Trish and Stella instantly fall upon the veggie pizza, splitting it in two between themselves as they chow down. Benji and Jacob instantly devour a single pepperoni pizza, its life ending in seconds between their ravenous maws. Anon grabs a mix of slices with a tower of cheesy bread before wandering to a table. I stack up several slices of the meat special, stacking a few cinnamon twists on the side before going to the drink table. I instinctively reach for a beer but mentally smack myself, instead grabbing a cola.

I feel a twinge of fear shoot through me again as I meet the steely gaze of Trish watching me from the large table the band has settled at. Raptor Jesus, how the fuck does she have so much power in that diminutive form of hers? I take a seat between her and Anon; the rest of the band has already filled the remaining seats. She studies my movements the whole time—how I carefully avoid hitting the edge of the table, and how I am the only one other than Stella who grabs a soda instead of a beer. Sweat forms on the edge of my forehead as I try to think of anything else but whatever Trish might be calculating in her brain. I can practically see the gears clicking in her brain as she stares at me.

I slowly eat a piece of my pizza as my nervousness grows. What does she know? What is she trying to get at? I nearly choke on a meatball as the realization hits me—Trish has five siblings! If there is anyone who knows what the signs of someone being extra careful might mean, it’ll be her. Oh shit, please don’t let that be what’s going on in that purple brainpan of hers!

She sets aside her plate before looking me right in the eye as she speaks. “So, Fang. How are you feeling these days?”

I chuckle nervously, flicking a bang out of my eyes. “Oh, pretty good I’d say. Not feeling nauseous anymore, just being careful with what I eat and avoiding drinking too much.”

She stares at the soda can on the table before looking back at me. “It looks like you are avoiding drinking completely. Are you sure you are doing okay?”

I sigh in visible frustration as I struggle to keep composure under her intense gaze. “I’m fine, Trish. Don’t worry about me, we got it handled. I just gotta be careful around things these days.”

I realize my mistake a second too late as all the pieces in her mind seem to click together and her eyes shoot open wide. Anon looks on nervously as he juggles his gaze between us both. Stella stops eating and even Benji and Jacob turn their attention my way, causing me to sweat like mad.

“Wait a minute…being careful, avoiding drinking…the fact you took so much effort to avoid even slightly tapping your stomach against the edge of the table, and I don’t see a pack of smokes in your pocket…”

Oh, sweet Raptor Jesus, no! The one-woman purple wrecking ball is about to bulldoze over my entire existence. I can’t even open my mouth to stop her before she yells it out to the whole fucking room.

“Holy shit! You’re pregnant, Fang!” Her hands clasp in front of her face as she exclaims in the cheeriest voice I’ve ever heard. She has no idea she just dropped the biggest bombshell of my entire life, blowing it to pieces.

The table goes dead quiet, all eyes on me as tears start to fill my vision. Oh god no…not here, not like this, not in front of everyone. I can’t even deny it at this point…what good would it do? All the signs are there, just no one else would have been able to put them together as quickly as she did. I want to be pissed, I want to cry, but most of all I just want to hide.

Anon gets up out of the way when he sees the panic and terror on my face. I shove my plate aside and run into a corner, sitting down and pulling my knees up to cover my face as I silently cry. Anon sits down beside me, holding me close and trying his best to comfort me. Trish can tell she screwed up and I hear her mumble “fuck” under her breath.

What am I going to do? They are all going to know now. They are going to know I got pregnant and I fucked up. What if they leave? They didn’t sign up for dealing with a kid on the sidelines, and what if it killed me? They would be out their frontwoman with no one else to do the job. Silent sobs rack my body as I cling to Anon who silently strokes my back.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” I struggle out between my tears as I wait, preparing myself for the worst as I hear steps approaching. The rest of the band comes up and sits down next to me, arms reaching from wherever they can as we form a giant group hug on the floor. No one says anything; they quietly comfort me in what I thought was about to be a life-ruining discovery.

I look across the group—no judgment in their eyes, only support, with not a dry eye in the group. I can’t believe it as I choke back the tears, trying to speak.

“Y-you…you g-guys aren’t mad at me?”

“Of course not, Fang! We’re happy for you!” Stella beams from the side as she squishes up against me. “Why in the world would we be mad at you? This is wonderful! Oh, a little you running around would be fucking adorable!” There are stars bursting in her eyes as she speaks.

Benji puts a hand on my shoulder with a supportive grin on his face. “You have gone through a lot of shit bringing us up. We’d never let you down now, not with something like this.”

Jacob pats me on the head, tussling my hair slightly and earning himself a sharp glare as he laughs. “You don’t need to worry about a thing. We’re here for you, like we’ve always been. We’ll make it work somehow. There’s no way this’ll even slow us down.”

Trish gently pushes the rest of them aside before taking my hands in hers. “I’m sorry for blowing your cover like that, but they are right. There is no reason to be scared about us knowing or to worry about us walking out on you. We’re here for you every step of the way, you can count on that.”

The relief of knowing they’re by my side almost overwhelms me, and fresh tears start pouring down my cheeks as I feel nothing but warmth and support flowing from every corner of the room. I should have known better than to believe they would have been pissed. We’ve been through too much for just an unexpected pregnancy to throw a spanner in the works.

I sigh as we all hug again with all of them getting as close as they can to me before helping me back to my feet.

I wipe a tear from my eye, a soft chuckle passing my lips. “Thank you, guys…I mean it. I was so worried you were going to be pissed and I ended up winding myself up for nothing.”

“Still, sorry for blurting that out. I should have known better, just been around that stuff a lot so I couldn’t help but notice the signs.” Trish shifts around in embarrassment, half-avoiding my gaze before I pull her in for a hug.

“It’s alright, Trish, you couldn’t have known how I would have reacted.” My stomach gurgles loudly, making me blush. “But food first…I’m fucking starved.”

We all gather back at the table tearing back into the pizza with renewed vigor. The conversation across the group is all excitement about having their own little band kid hanging out and getting into all sorts of shenanigans. Benji is already planning how many toy instruments he is going to bury them in while Jacob wonders what food he can feed a kid and get away with. Trish talks in length about all the prenatal care I will need and how she’ll be with me for all of it, having dealt with it plenty already, and Stella conspires with Anon about what costumes they can put the baby in. I am doomed…there is no way I can get a word in edgewise as they plot out the future of our soon-to-come extra bandmate. None of them care that we’ll have to miss a few shows when I got close to term, all too busy making sure they’ll be able to see them as soon as possible after they are born.

The talk goes on for hours as the food dwindles away to nothing. Scattered bottles and cans decorate the table, with me possibly being the only sober one left. Stella can’t keep her mouth shut as she slurs out a string of anime she recently binged while Anon keeps checking to see how many fingers he has. Welp, guess my ass is driving everyone home tonight. Dave comes in after all the initial commotion and is positively burning with delight when I tell him I am pregnant. He tells me to let him know as soon as the kid is born; he wants to be there to welcome them into the world. With how much of a father figure he has been to me, I am more than happy to do that for him.

As we say our goodbyes, Dave pulls me aside. “Fang, I’m so happy for you! I mean…I know you didn’t plan for this, but I know you will be a great mother to the kid. Call me anytime you need anything—my door will always be open.”

I lean up and kiss him on the cheek, squeezing his hand in mine. “Thank you, Dave. I have a question to ask you, actually.”

“Sure, anything at all.”

“Anon and I talked about it and…would you like to be the kid’s godfather? I know it’s more of a religious thing, but I can’t think of anyone better to watch over them if something ever happens to us.”

Tears well up in Dave’s eyes as he smiles, wrapping his arms around my back and gently hugging me. “I’d be honored. Thank you Fang, for trusting me with something as important as this.”

I hug him back, pulling away with a joyful smile on my lips. “You’re welcome, Dave. No one else would be as good as you.”

We share one last hug before parting, me gently scooting my pack of drunken idiots into the van before taking them home, making sure each of them gets inside before I drive off so they didn’t wake up plastered in the yard. Anon has mostly recovered from his intoxication but as we get home—me hauling his ass upstairs—he is still stumbling around. It doesn’t take much effort to push him toward the bed and he hits it with a thud before instantly starting to snore.

I chuckle to myself before locking up for the night, tossing aside my sweltering clothes and sliding into bed beside him. That trip was just the recharging I needed and the fact that everyone is totally cool with the kid entering the picture renews my hope in our dream. I hate the idea of having to miss a couple shows but I can’t go up there full to bursting without a disaster playing out. I snuggle close to my inebriated dweeb before drifting off to sleep. I have all the support in the world, and there’s nothing left to get in our way.