Another day, another attempt of trying to go six hours without wanting to blow my brains out. After a relatively long and uneventful walk, I finally approach the school, not really bothered with how late I am. It's a particularly foggy day out, as the clouds enshroud the sky, giving a degree of eeriness commonly seen in shitty horror movies. A thought occurred to me that stopped me in my tracks. Weird how I just noticed this now. I didn't see it when I… Wait… Why don't I remember leaving my apartment this morning? .... Huh, weird... I make my way closer and closer to the school, but a buzz emanates from my pocket, beckoning me to grab my phone and read the notifications. A text from Fang? "♫Control over my life you denied, and now death approaches from the sky. Why'd it be me you had to vilify? Goodbye Volcano High….♫" What the actual fuck? Something is VERY wrong here. I approach the building's entrance with a feeling of uneasiness and dread. The closer I get to the door, the more I notice a disturbing lack of noise from the school. Sure, class has already started, but it's usually still louder than this. As my hands grip the door handles, every instinct in my body is telling me to turn back and run away as far as I can. At the same time, my mind is telling me to enter and investigate the building after receiving that cryptic text. Well… No more turning back. I push open the front doors, instinctively closing my eyes as I’m suddenly hit with a cool breeze, the sensation on my skin feeling too natural to be the school's ventilation system, and rather than hearing a collection of voices overlapping each other as student's go about their daily life getting ready for class, I'm greeted with the sounds of crickets chirping and wind blowing. But when I open my eyes, I realize the front entrance didn't take me to the school's hallway… …But instead on the roof of Volcano High, as the moon above the night sky illuminates my surroundings. What the fuck?! W-wait… How? I rub my eyes to make sure I haven’t gone blind, but it appears my vision still works. The beaches, the ocean, the view of the city, the hole in the fence. It’s all real. The sudden realization of where I am and the absurdity of how I even got here catches me off guard. I'm met with pure confusion as I process the world around me. I swear it was just morning a second ago... I turn around only to see the smooth brick wall standing before me and the latter leading back into the school. I… have officially lost it. “What makes you say that?” A familiar voice calls out to me. A voice that I will never be able to forget, no matter how hard I try. I turn around to see a lone figure sitting by the hole in the fence, the silver color of her hair and wings shining in the moonlight, giving her an angelic presence. In her arms is a wooden acoustic guitar, the same guitar we played together that afternoon at her house. “Fang…” "Hey, Dweeb, it's good to see you again." The ashen Pterodactyl’s lips curl into a gentle smile as her amber-coloured eyes lock with mine, devoid of the malice and hate that her image tormented me with for so many nights. Just like that dream I had when I passed out at the park… “It’s… good to see you again too…” I approach the figure on the ground, the tenderness in her voice erasing all the fear or tension that may have happened. However, before I can lower myself to the ground to sit beside her, my eyes lock on the fence's hole. The last place I saw Fang before she left this world… "Beautiful, isn't it?" She's the first to break the silence, filling me with a sense of morbid confusion. But when I turn to face her, her eyes gaze toward the stars that fill the sky. Knowing the dreams I've had of her in the past, I'm surprised she wasn't talking about the hole in the fence, but it's a nice change of pace… “I always thought the view was really nice during the day, and it’s no surprise it’s even more beautiful now, especially on a night like this…” She muses as a smile is plastered across her lips. “Yeah…It’s incredible.” I flash her a smile as she turns my way. Seeing the joy in her face warms my soul, and though I've been slowly becoming less angry at myself over the past month and a half... a part of me still feels terrible about it all. Knowing Fang got robbed of ever getting to experience a tender moment such as this. “I’m sorry.” The smile on her lips falters as a concerned look emerges. "What for? You don't need to say sorry for anything, Dweeb." I break our gaze, turning away from her as I continue to be overwhelmed by emotion. Guilt, Nostalgia, Love… "Don't you hate me?" I choke out as my eyes fixate on the broken steel wire before me. “Of course not.” She gently replies. “I could never hate you, Anon.” "But why not?" I turn to the revenant on the ground, her sympathetic eyes staring into my soul. "Shouldn't you be screaming at me? Remind me how everything is my fault or that I should pay for what I did to you?" The gentle expression on Fang's face turns sour as she looks down with shame, her shoulders drooping slightly, causing her guitar to slide onto her lap. "I… shouldn't have done that. You deserved much better." She places her hand on my lap, her palms chilling my skin. "You've been dealing with so much shit in life, and I had to make it worse like I've always done." “But… I” "No, Anon. Please… I'm sorry for everything." My eyes lit up with surprise. Why is she being so kind and repentant all of a sudden? I haven't seen her act like this since she was alive. “I’ve hurt so many people from what I did. Mom, Dad, Naser, Naomi, Stella, Trish, and especially you.” She raises her head, looking at me with pure remorse. "I know there's nothing I can do to make up for what I did, I can't bring back the people I killed that day or take back all the times I've made you feel like you weren't enough. But please, I want you to know…" Fang struggles to finish her sentence, her voice beginning to crack as tears fall from her eyes like gentle raindrops after a violent storm. “I-I am so… so sorry, Anon…” “Fang…” I reach for her hand, my fingers interlocking with hers. For so long, Fang tormented me almost every day since she died. From taunting me when I'm awake to mutilating me in my dreams, I should be afraid of the memory she's become… But never like this… Seeing her like this aches my heart. I want to protect her and hold her in my arms, telling her that it's all going to be okay. I haven't felt like this since she broke down in front of me in her bedroom after she played that song, showing me a part of Fang that no one else could see. "I screwed up too… For so long, I thought I was too far gone for how I treated you. Making you feel that you weren’t important to me and ignoring you in a time you needed me most…" My hand gives her a supportive squeeze. "But I want to do everything I can to atone for that and make sure what happened with you never happens to anyone else I love." Fang looks up from the ground, setting her guitar aside as a smile forms on her tear-stained face, the sight of which fills me with a twinge of guilt. “Still… I wonder if I even deserve a second chance.” “What do you mean?” A concerned expression appears on her face. “I made so many mistakes with you, and I’m terrified I’ll end up doing the same to Stella…” Now Fang is the one to squeeze my hand as her eyes light up with sympathy. "All I want is for you to be happy, Anon." Fang comforts me with warmth and gentleness in her voice. "Of course, you deserve a second chance. You deserve to be happy." The last word in her sentence only intensifies my guilt, knowing how things are at right now between Stella and me. "I know… But you have to move on…" Fang closes her eyes as she nods to my mumbling. I look away towards the sea, staring blankly into the distance as if I’m trying to break away from my emotional conflict. I can't even describe how much I've fallen for Stella. Her kindness, her sweet bubbly demeanour, the passion she displays for everything and everyone she loves. She's healed a part of me that I never thought could be fixed, but no matter how far I move on… …There’s still a part of me that will always love Fang. “I know…” I choke out. "It's okay, Anon, you deserve to be happy together." Fang supportively smiles at me. "Stella is a beautiful and sweet girl, and she's damn lucky to have you." “Funny… I always thought it was the other way around.” Before I can react any further, Fang wraps her arms around me as she pulls me into a warm embrace, the sensation overwhelming me as I start to tear up. “Just never let go of her, and always be there for her…” she whispers into my ear as she holds me in her arms. “I-I will, I promise…” “Everyone deserves a chance at happiness… You are deserving of love, Anon…” Fuck… Those words murmured by Fang is what finally breaks the dam, causing the flood of tears to leave my eyes. Fang holding me tightly as I sob in her arms, violently shuddering as I let it all out. Even though I'm crying, it isn't entirely out of sorrow. I feel a strange sense of relief in the process. I know this is probably a hallucination or maybe even Fang's spirit visiting me in my dreams. Still, finally hearing her tell me that she forgives me for what happened, I don't know what to say… Is this what I’ve been repressing all of this time? It feels like an eternity passes as I’m wrapped in her feathery embrace, and as my crying begins to calm down, I clear my throat to speak. “Can I stay with you here? Just for a little while longer?” Her arms gently pull away from me as she leans back from me. Fang smiles sweetly at my request. “Of course… For as long as you need to.” Fang reaches for her guitar on the ground, adjusting it in her lap as she prepares to play. Her fingers dance across the fretboard as she began to strum away. A strange sense of nostalgia washes over me. Why does that song sound so familiar? Nevertheless, with each passing note, I begin to feel more and more calm, every fear or doubt I’ve ever had slowly leaving my body, making me feel as light as a feather. It’s comforting… But I can’t explain why. Amidst her strumming, her voice echoes out to me… “You are never alone… Everything’s going to be okay…” “...itsokaybabyitsokay” Nghh… Fang… As I begin to feel the neurons in my brain slowly turn back on, I hear a muffled yet soothing voice slowly pulling me back to consciousness. "I'm right here, Anon. And I'm not going anywhere…" A warm sensation wraps around my body, making me feel… safe. “...Stella?” Mustering what little strength I have right now, I open my eyes to be greeted with the sight of my Stego gf inches away from my face as she holds me in her arms, her bedroom dimly lit by the lamp on the nightstand next to her. …What time is it? Right… Her parents went away on a short vacation, leaving me alone with her and Ghibli. I'm really glad they aren't here right now to see me i- “Anon?” Her eyes light up at the realization that I’m awake. “Are you okay, baby? You were crying in your sleep.” I… was? That explains the wet feeling on my cheeks… Right… That dream… “Huh?... Uh yeah, okay, sorry about that…” I smile as I groggily attempt to downplay my tears. “I’m not sure why I was doing that… However, she sees through my facade as the concern on her face remains. "Anon… I can tell somethings wrong. You don't have to hide it from me." I try to open my mouth to speak, only to be reminded of what the dream was about. I'm worried it might be tricky to explain to Stella that I had a dream of my ex holding me in her arms, aka the girl who almost killed her. "It's… complicated. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anyth-" I attempt to muster an excuse before her cold hand rests against the side of my head. "Anon, you can tell me anything." The stego's lips curl into a gentle smile, putting me at ease. "I promise I won't be upset with you, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on." I let out a defeated sigh, knowing that I don’t really have a choice on the matter. But still, she has a right to know what’s going on with me, she’s shown me a side of her that not even Rosa or her parents have seen, the least I can do is try to do the same. “It was about Fang…” I close my eyes out of embarrassment. I picture the surreal image in my head of us on the roof of our high school under the night sky, and it isn’t until now that I put the pieces together as I remember the song she was playing in that dream. The same one we came up with during that time on the roof and during our study session. It all becomes clear to me now… Her instrumental aria… The lyricless balad she poured her very soul into, a perfect combination of both harmony and melancholy. The rhythm that completely mesmerised me as she played under the night sky. Before I begin to become lost in my own thoughts again, I direct my attention towards Stella as she expects my answer. "She wanted to tell me she's sorry… for everything she did and that I deserve a second chance." “Anon…” Shit… Did I say too much? Before I can open my mouth and defuse the situation, I find myself pulled closer to Stella's embrace, her sudden reaction causing my eyes to open. "Of course you deserve a second chance, baby…" Her comforting words mirrored Fang in the dream. "Who we were in the past and our mistakes won't decide the type of people we'll be in the present." I know… I just really don’t wanna fuck things up between us… "You won't fuck things up, don't worry. We're in this together!" She moves back a bit, revealing a gentle smile. Of course I mumb- Wait a minute… “That has to be like the second time I’ve ever heard you say ‘fuck.’” I chuckle as Stella’s smile morphs into a pouty face. “Am I that much of a bad influence on you?” She playfully pushes me away while stifling a chuckle of her own. "Hey, you're the one who said it first! And what do you mean by that? I swear too!" I honestly have no clue whether or not to laugh or blush. Why does Stella have to be this adorable when she's flustered? I chortle once more. "I'm just messing with you, baby, I'm sure you do." We spend the next couple of minutes just playfully chatting away, Stella telling me about all the times she's sworn both in English and French, giving me the impression that it's not a lot if she can count all the times she did curse. On the other hand, I'm trying everything I can not to reveal my power level and tell her all the times I've been banned from forums for… my extensive vocabulary, an array of gamer moments, if you will. Over the years, I never knew there could be so many slurs. "Are you saying I'm gonna have to worry about you causing trouble at Rosa's showcase on Friday?" My sarcastic question caused an annoyed reaction from Stella. “I dunno…” A smug look appears across the Stego’s face. “Am I gonna have to worry about you tripping over Rosa’s flowers?” I… You know what? Touche… The room fills with laughter as Stella and I both enjoy each other's catty attempts at teasing each other. The joy completely erasing the melancholy that gripped me just moments ago. Speaking of slurs, I’m pretty sure the only time I’ve ever heard Stella say one is when she decked Trish right in the face- …after she found us at the mall. My playful demeanour falls sour as I’m reminded of the girl who tried to kill me twice… Who straight up told me on the phone that she's gonna kill Stella and I. "You can't stop what's coming… You and your little whore of a rebound are getting what's coming to you both…" I can feel my blood boil at the threat Trish made to her. Stella absolutely nothing to do with what happened, if Trish wants to go after someone, it's me. But even then, I'm worried. Since the shooting, I kept asking myself ‘why Fang didn't kill me,’ I thought I deserved to die. But since Stella and Rosa came into my life again, I've felt alive, like I've got a purpose in life and maybe I can come back from this, but now? I’m scared… Not just for Stella’s sake but… My own too… I don’t want to die. Stella seems to pick up my inner turmoil as her smile fades. “What’s wrong? Is it something else?” Her sapphire blue eyes light up with concern as I can feel her take hold of my right hand lying in front of me, pleading to me to reveal what has me so disturbed and how she can help. But if I tell her, it could just make things worse… Trish tried to kill me, and she would probably have tried to kill Stella too if I didn't act. The terror she had in her eyes as she watched Trish strangle the life out of me or how she shook with fear the entire car ride home. But she's come so far since I bumped into her at the pharmacy that day. Stella broke free from her shell-shocked prison, and I do not want her to have to feel that way ever again. …Even if it means I have to lie to her. “Anon?” "N-no sorry, I'm okay." I stutter as I try to ease her worries. "I'm still just… trying to process that dream. It was a lot." However, Stella doesn't seem convinced as sadness forms in her eyes, seeing through my lie and hurt because I'm not opening up to her. I’m sorry… I can’t let you get hurt again. The somber Stego reaches out and gently takes hold of my hand. "Anon...." I start to feel myself return to reality as I see a new emotion pained across her face, resolve. "I promise you, everything is going to be okay." Her hand gently squeezes mine as she smiles supportively. "I'm right by your side, and so are Mom, Dad, Rosa, and even Ghibli. We've all got your back." “I-..... I…” I feel my brain malfunctioning as I try to figure out what to say. But before I can, Stella softly leans in and presses her lips against my forehead. It takes a second for me to figure out what’s happening before I close my eyes and reciprocate by wrapping my arms around her as she rests her forehead against mine. “I love you…” I gently whisper to her. Stella reaches out, caressing my shoulder with a free hand. “I love you too…” I promised myself that I was going to be more truthful to you, but I’m sorry I can’t this time…. You deserve far better than to be dragged down into my shit. Trish’s fight is with me, and me alone… I’m not losing another girlfriend, not again… The day before… January 6th, 2021 I'm not looking forward to this, but… it's best to just get it over with… She deserves that much. Breathe Trish… At least take some responsibility for the family you destroyed. You really gonna chicken out of speaking with your mother like dad did too? You can do this… The storm of thoughts completely clouds my mind as I walk along the sidewalk to my old neighborhood, my body moving like it's on autopilot. I haven't been home in almost five months. I have no idea what I'm about to walk into. Is Mom okay? Did she get the kids back yet? Do we still even have a home to begin with? The questions I have paired with the self-doubt and inner turmoil plague my mind as the sight of my old home enters my field of view. The gray windy sky casts over the rows of rundown houses and cracked pavement, only adding to the dreary aspect of this part of town. We’ve lived here for almost seven years. I still remember our first night in this house. My siblings and I were all terrified. There was something that happened next door. I remember a lot of screaming that could be heard through the walls of our apartment and the wailing of sirens in the distance. I remembered hearing a loud bang and running for the closet by the front door. I spent a good thirty minutes in there crying my eyes out. It wasn't until Mom tried to explain that the neighbors were just celebrating and lighting fireworks next door. At the time I believed her, but looking back not so much. I don't recall many holidays where you call people 'fucking bastards' or 'cheating whores' or go as far as to light fireworks inside the house. I still remember what she said to me, though. "I know it's scary, honey, but you gotta be strong for your brothers and sisters, you understand?" The echoes of my mother's words became more clear as I walked towards the driveway of our house. "You're their big sister, and they look up to you! We'll get through this, sweetie, and I know you'll be strong enough to handle it." I thought I could… I tried for so long to be the best sister I could be for them. Walking them to the bus stop in the morning, since our mother wasn’t around to take them. Spent most of my evenings looking after them, cooking them dinner and helping them with their homework while I completely neglected myself. And… Then I hit Trevor, and… I ruined it all… They got taken away… because of me… Eventually, my journey comes to an end when I realize that I'm now standing in front of the door, I take a look to the left to confirm my suspicions. APT: 223 Well… Here goes nothing… I reach for the doorknob and give it a twist to see if it’s locked, and to my surprise, it turns all the way. Wait… Why didn't Mom lock the door? She told me always to lock the front door no matter what. I push the door open as quietly as I can as the door begins to creak,I still don't know how well she's gonna react to me being here. However, as it opens all the way and the room's darkness adjusts from the light outside, I'm hit with a wave of surprise. I’m here… I’m back… I step through the doorframe, looking around the living room as I reacquaint myself with my surroundings. Everything looks the same… Old pictures and artwork still framed on the wall, but something falls off. This may have been my home, but everything now feels foreign to me, like I don't belong here. Okay… Just get what you came for from your room, and then we'll go talk to Mom. Hopefully, it’s still there… I gently walk further into the house, cautious of each footstep I take, desperate to avoid making any noise. This may still be my home, but I don't want to get arrested a second time for breaking and entering charges. Entering the hallway, I'm greeted with the sight of two doors on each side of the corridor, and I spot my old room as the closest one on the right, but as my hand hovers over the door's handle, a collection of stray objects catch my eye at the end of the hallway leading to the kitchen. Empty glass bottles sitting on the countertop, all of them amber in color, the sight of which causes me to look away with guilt. That’s because of you… You drove her to that, you piece of shit… I snap myself back into focus as my hand grips the doorknob, the metallic texture cooling my hand as I turn it right, pushing open the door as I reunite with my sanctuary for the first time in months. Except… Sanctuary isn't the right word anymore. The room that once brought me peace now feel cold and empty. My eyes dart across the barren bedroom, the harsh yellow paint lining the walls as it covers a room half empty. To my left, I gaze upon the worn-out dresser and the bunk bed. Both the bottom and top are stripped bare of their sheets, leaving nothing but a weathered mattress. Since there's only three rooms in the house, my siblings and I had to share rooms. Riley, Chondra, and I used to stay in this room. Tali, Trevor, and Tani stayed in the room across from us, with our mother taking the master bedroom. I used to hate not having a room to myself, to have almost no privacy whatsoever, not even a place where I could cry out of sight. And the fact that I had to sleep in the same room as Riley of all people certainly didn't help. But now… I realize just how much it meant to me. It wasn't until a week after I moved in with Reed that I learned just how cold and lonely it feels to sleep alone… Fuck… I wish I could take it all back. As I begin to be overwhelmed by my thoughts, I decide to turn away before being greeted with the surprising sight of… Well, my half of the room looking exactly how I left it as. The weathered twin-sized mattress on the ground still had my blanket drooping onto the floor, showing that it was still as messy as the day I woke up… To my right, I see my makeshift dresser is in the same spot as it's always been, all of my old clothes visible through the plastic. A couple of books resting on the top, all of them either textbooks or music history related. However, I'm not completely satisfied with the sight as it's missing a key element. Where the hell are my anti-depressants? I always kept them here on my dresser! It's been months since I've been able to take them, and I've been a fucking mess ever since. Why are they missing?! I take a deep breath, trying to calm down and remind myself why I came here in the first place. Relax Trish… Just grab your guitar, and then we can leave… I peek behind the drawer to see my old Stratocaster bass nuzzled against the wall, the formation of greyish dust coating the red paint. As I reach down to pick up the bass, I freeze up as a foreign object catches my eye, sticking halfway from underneath the stack of books. Wait, when did I take these out? I reel my hand away from the bass and lift the stack of books out from the pictures, and I can feel my heart break as I instantly recognize it's contents. Fang smiled as they posed for the camera in a karate stance, beaming confidently. I can feel a tear emerging from my left eye as the image of my lost friend sears its way into my mind, and then I notice two other photos resting underneath them. I reach down and shift them apart, lining them horizontally as I can see what else was taken. The second photo was of me winking and sticking my tongue out as I flipped off the camera. I look so carefree in this photo, like nothing else mattered and I could just goof off with my friends without giving a shit about anything else. All of these must've been taken around Junior year. But the last picture is what finally hits the nail in the coffin. Fang and I were holding our tickets to see the new Death March concert as we smiled with joy, I remember how hard it was even to get those tickets. It was a better time… I can’t help but stand there frozen as tears fall onto the dresser, staining the photo as I'm overwhelmed with nostalgia and sorrow. These photos are a painful reminder of what I’ve lost… Of the past we all had together. Of the future that we’ll never get to see… Life is unbearable without you… I miss you so much. I stand there for a good minute, quietly sobbing over the memories we shared. It's been over six months, and it still doesn't get easier… I promise Fang. Everything will be all better soon… You can rest easy once that skinnie's rotting in hell. I grab the photos off the dresser, stuffing them into my left pocket as I reach for the guitar, picking it up from the neck before walking towards the door. Before my hand reaches the knob, I take one last look behind me. I've lived in this house for almost half my life, and now that'll be the last time I ever see this room. This chapter of my life is over. No… The home I knew and loved was taken away the moment you struck Trevor. It's gone, all because of you. Turning away, I grip the handle as I open the door, stepping out of my room for the very last time, my legs feeling like they’re being weighed down by anchors. Once I'm in the hallways, bass in hand, I'm left alone with my thoughts as I steel myself for what to do next. You may have ruined everything, but you owe your mom a goodbye at the very least. I turn to my right to see the collection of bottles on the table. As I begin to walk to the kitchen, I find my guilt growing even stronger as I get a full view of what my mother has been up to since I left. The kitchen is in shambles, with dirty dishes piled up in the sink, empty containers and bags strewn across the countertops, and both the tiles and grout like they haven't been clean for months. On the table lies a collection of empty Grugweiser bottles, there's gotta be at least 20 on here. However, a small object catches my attention as I'm standing there in shock. A small pill bottle lying down on it's side next to all the beer. Wait… Is that? I reach down to pick up the bottle, empty from the lack of rattling inside, I look at the prescription to see the name, and my suspicions are correct. Zoloft 50mg Trish Freeman Caution: Keep out of reach of children. I should be pissed off that my mother stole her own daughter’s pills that she paid for, but I can’t help but feel sad. Her kids were taken away from her, all because their lost cause of a big sister couldn’t control her anger… Abandoned by her husband and now all alone, the only comfort she could find is from a fistful of pills or at the bottom of a glass. I… “What are you doing here?...” A familiar voice catches me off guard before remembering who it belongs to. “Mom…” I turn around and face the hallway, putting me in eye contact with her for the first time in months. However, the strong yet warm mother who raised me and my siblings is nowhere to be found, only a dishevelled shell of a woman leering at me with cold hatred. Her hair was tangled compared to her usual afro, and the grey business dress she wore to work daily was replaced with a weathered pair of shorts and a T-Shirt as she held a six-pack of beer bottles in her hands. "What makes you think you have any right coming back here?" She hisses with vitriol. Her venomous stare and the hate in her voice cuts me like a knife. I can only help but close my eyes with shame briefly as I take a deep breath, trying to work up the courage to speak. "I just came to grab something from my room. I promise I'll go…" I calmly explain as I gesture toward the bass in my hands "Of course, you came back for a motherfucking guitar..." She walks past me into the kitchen to set aside the beer on the counter before turning towards me with disgust. "You always cared more about your little band than your own family." More than my own family? Did she really just say that? "Everything I did… Playing at venues, selling merchandise, making it big…"My voice cracking slightly as my mother's accusation makes me flustered. "Everything I tried to do, I did it to help us out!" My change in tone does nothing to warm her cold eyes. "And yet you still ran away from us… And now your brothers and sisters are all alone in Foster Care because of your dumb ass." That image flashes across my mind. The sight of Trevor on the ground crying in pain as everyone watched in horror what I'd done. I… couldn't stay there after what I did. "I… I had to, mom. I hit Trevor…" I look to the ground in shame, afraid to even look her in the eyes. "They kicked me out. They didn't want me there anymore!" My remorseful explanation causes her to squint with an annoyed expression of confusion over my confession. "They were scared of your dumbass!" My mom erupts into anger over my reasoning. "Kids say stupid shit in the moment! Do you really think they wanted you to leave their asses for good?!" The fear in their eyes, the betrayal, how one single action destroyed an entire family. They wanted me gone! …Right? There’s no way I could’ve stayed there after that. “But I-” "NO! If you had given them some time to cool off, they would've let it go! I know my own damn kids!" She raises her voice, cutting me off as I'm about to speak. "Do you know how many times Chondra hit Riley or how many times Trevor pushed Tana down by accident when they playin'? It's what siblings do!" “But you? ” She points her finger at me aggressively. “You ran away from them, left them to fend for themselves because you were too much of a pussy to own up to your mistakes!” All I can do is stand paralyzed as my mother’s words serve as gasoline for my fiery turmoil. There's no way I could've possibly stayed there. They were PETRIFIED of me! And I was scared that something like that could happen again… …Right? “I…..” I attempt to respond, but I can’t force my words out. But I mean, I have seen them get angry with each other. I've heard the screaming matches Riley gets into with Chondra or even Mom herself… My heart sinks with dread the more it becomes clear to me. I was the one who tore our family apart… If I had just come back after a couple of hours, they could've been… Oh god… “Don’t you have anything to say?” Mom looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to justify my actions, if I have any reason for leaving them other than fear. "No…" I choke out as I let out a sniffle and tears begin to flow from my eyes again. "I was scared… I fucked up." I can't hold it in any longer as I begin to sob over realizing what I've done. If I hadn't been such a fucking coward or learned how to control my anger, none of this shit would've happened. "You did… Now get the fuck out of my house." My mom growls at me. "And don't ever come back here. This time I mean it." Those cold eyes, the hatred in her voice and being crushed by the weight of my actions, I feel time has completely stopped for me. I ruined everything… I ruined their childhood, my mother’s happiness, our family… I did this. My inner pity party abruptly comes to an end as Mom picks up a nearby bottle from the table and throws it to the ground. CRASH Fuck! “I said GET THE FUCK OUT!” The tone in my mother’s voice erupts with fury. “NOW! GET OUT!!” Her violent reaction downright terrifies me, I've never seen her react so violently to me… Never like that. But… This is what I deserve… The tears continue to flow as I turn away from my mother for the last time, never to turn back. Bass in hand, I start walking towards the front entrance, my eyes focused solely on the door to avoid reminding me of the life that I've thrown away. Wasting no second, I open the door and get ready to close it behind me, but as I'm about to say goodbye to my home for good, I take one last look inside. This is the last time I'll be staring at the living room, where we would all watch movies and shows together. I still remember those movie marathons we would have on the weekends, glued to the screen as we all watched superhero movies. The time we spent together as a family, how nothing else mattered. Just us… I close the door in front of me, my hand trembling as I grip the door, and I give the door a tight tug as it follows with a clicking noise. And now that part of my life is gone too, forever. Goodbye... I'm so sorry, everyone. I begin to drag my legs towards the street, overwhelmed to the point where I feel detached from everything around me, but the part of the outside world that remains clear to me is the bass guitar in my hands. My signature instrument from VVURM Drama. My sole memento of a happier life. Before my feet can touch the road, I feel a vibration buzzing from my right pocket, prompting me to reach for my phone to figure out what it's for. However, I feel a sense of uneasiness and hesitation. I'm praying to Raptor Jesus that it's Reed butt-dialing me or asking some nonsensical question, but I'm struck with an uneasy feeling at the prospect of it being either Moe or Fang's dad texting. The former telling me to 'keep my nose clean and leave Anon alone,' Or the latter threatening to throw me back in jail because Anon's still alive. I'm still trying to find him, but I'm kind of at a loss on where to look right now. I managed to find out what apartment he was living in, but when I talked to the landlord there, he explained that he kicked him out a month ago. Leaving me with fuck all to work with. Not that I'm scared of Fang's dirty pig of a father, despite all the shit he gave them and I back when they were alive, but I shudder to imagine myself behind those bars again… As my hand leaves my pant pocket, lifting the tattered phone to my eyes, I hesitantly look at the screen only to have my fears evaporate as soon as I read the notification. (New Event happening at Volcano High in Volcadera Bluffs, DA. Hosted by Ros…..) Of course, it's just a fucking Snootbook notifcation... However, as I turn off the screen and get ready to put my phone away, something about that event catches my eye. Curious, I press the power button once more to be greeted with the sight of the notification. This time I double-click on the icon to see the entire message as my suspicions are confirmed correct. (Volcano High Botanical Showcase!) Scheduled for 5 PM on January 8th, 2021 Hosted by Rosa Castillo Join us for an evening of beauty and floral wonder! Rosa Castillo! Of course, I heard she took a fifth year at Volcano High. If she's gonna be there, then that means the skinnie and his Stego whore will be there too. As I begin to walk alongside the road toward the next bus stop, my heart begins to burn with rage at the prospect of meeting Anon face-to-face once more. It's almost poetic, isn't it? Finally going back to Volcano High after all this time, to give him an end that's been long overdue. Just have to make a quick stop before I head back home. Thankfully it's not too far away, after that I can start getting ready. I promise you, Fang, I will make sure you can rest easy soon… Two Days Later… I've had weeks to get ready for this, mentally preparing myself for the day I came back here, but even now… I can't help but feel fear. Today's the day Rosa's finally holding a showcase for Volcano High's garden, putting on display all of the hard work and effort she's done over the past few months. Stella and I are on our way there right now to check it out and support her… But as we're riding in the back of the taxi, the whirring of the engine paired with the sound of cars passing through the end fills my ears as an unmistakable aura of uncertainty hangs in the air. It's been half a year since either of us has been here, and now we're going back to the place we almost died at, where we lost ourselves for a while… Looking to my right, Stella stares blankly out the window, fidgeting the car's door handle while she gently holds my hand with her free hand. Is she going to be okay here? She's really come a long way since the day she rammed that door into me at the pharmacy. She seems truly happy again… But will she be okay with something like this? …Will I be okay? "Hmm? Everything okay, Anon?" My mumbling seems to grab her attention as she turns to face me. I mean… I guess I needed to talk to her anyway. “Oh- Uh yeah, sorry about that.” I stumble over my own words. “I just wanted to ask you…” "Yeah, what is it, baby? Everything okay?" A somewhat concerned look grows across her face. Well, here it goes… "How are you feeling?" I gently ask as my thumb rubs across her hand. "About coming back here after all this time? Are you… okay?" Stella's eyes wander down as she takes a silent breath. "Yeah… Yeah, I'll be okay…" The Stego confides before looking up at me. "I'm… Just a little nervous is all. I haven't been back here since…" She struggles to finish as her discomfort grows. “I know… Me too…” A couple of seconds pass as we gaze into each other's eyes in silence. No words are uttered, but the uncertainty in her sky-blue eyes tells me exactly how she's feeling, and I think she's getting a sense of understanding of how I'm feeling about it all as her stare lingers. Not much we can say to each other in a cab with the driver in clear ear range of us. ‘Hey Stella? How are you feeling about going back to the school where we almost got murdered?’ But still… We both know that coming back here isn’t easy for us, even if we’re coming for Rosa. “Alrighty kids, We should be there in about two minutes! So make sure ya got all yer things, heh heh heh.” A chuckle emerges from the yellow raptor behind the wheel as he flashes a toothy grin in the rear-view mirror. "Will do, thanks." I respond to him with a nod before my eyes return to Stella. "The stars will guide us through this…" She turned to me as she whispers as she gently smiled at me. “That they will…” My lips mimics her actions. “And just know, I’ll be there with you, Stella.” It'll all be okay, you'll see… Meanwhile, in Little Trodon Today’s the day Anon dies… I should be ecstatic, jumping with joy in my pigsty of a room that I'd finally be able to put that worthless monkey in the ground once in for all. But right now, I can only find myself frozen on the floor, my eyes glued to the closed cardboard box surrounded by the dirty pairs of clothes that litter the floor. You can do this, Trish… This is what you’ve been preparing for. This is the best chance you’ll get to take out all three of the fuckers. What are the chances something like this could happen again if you miss it? But still… I can’t help but hesitate. Maybe it's just nerves. Maybe it's the fact that it's the same gun that Fang used. Maybe it's… everything. Going back home and just seeing the state of everything has been fucking with my head the past two days. Even after I dropped my guitar off and went back to the apartment, I couldn't get the image of my mom in shambles after everything that's happened, all because of me… Still… I’ve waited long enough. Shaking my head to snap myself back into focus, I lift open the cardboard flaps of the back as a weathered magnum revolver is resting in the box, the four bullets lying around it carelessly. I reach into the box, my hand shaking with hesitation as I lift the gun. Examining it closely as I'm reminded of its bloody past. The echoes of the screaming, the sirens, crying, they all flood my mind along with the sight of Fang lying on the ground lifelessly. No… You have to do this, Trish, come on. I move my left hand to the side of the gun near the hammer, pressing it down as the cylinder opens up. I've only really seen this type of gun before in movies and tv shows. Moe's people and the thugs back in my old neighborhood typically used those ones with the clips at the bottom of the gun. Wasting no more time I reach into the box and begin taking out the bullets one at a time and slide them into the holes of the cylinder. One for each of them… You’re all gonna fucking pay. As the last bullet is loaded into the gun, I raise it upwards as I- Ding …Let it fall onto the ground with the rest of my clothes. Oh, for fuck’s sake! Lowering the gun, I pick up the bullet that's fallen next to the pair of black yoga shorts and load it back into the gun. Jesus christ, calm the fuck down! I hear a mechanical click as I push the cylinder against the side of the gun, and now I'm ready to go through with this. Lifting myself off the ground, I turn to face the door in front of me. I just need to talk to Reed before I go, he deserves that much. Opening the door in front of me, I'm greeted with the sight of our living room. Aside from the few empty bottles of water or take-out containers on the dining tables, it's relatively tidy. I honestly didn't think I'd be able ever to get it this clean again after Reed turned it into his personal dumpster. Looking to my right, I see Reed chilling on the couch, wearing his favorite green hoodie as he just blankly stares at the TV, childish nonsensical noise emitting from the speakers. I guess he finally figured out how to find the Web Toon network. “Reed.” The disoriented Raptor lazily turns his head away from the TV as a droopy smile forms on his face, seemingly unaware of the gun dangling from my hand. “Ayyyyy whatsup Naomi?” I try to speak but find myself unable to force the words out of my mouth, as if the anxiety of it all is depriving my lungs of air, leaving me unable to say anything. Then the image of that Skinnie appears in my mind. His mere existence is tormenting with the reminder that he killed Fang. Come on, Trish... you can do this. “I’m just… heading out right now.” I tell him with a shaky voice, my eyes darting between him and the door. “I just… wanted to say goodbye.” Reed's head tilts slightly as what's left of his brain tries to decipher what I just said. “ Goodbye? Whaddya talking about, amigbro?" Reed asks with a surprisingly clear voice. "Are you like… nooot coming back or something?" I can feel my heart sink a little bit. No matter how I explain it, I don't know if he'll ever be able to understand what I mean. Fuck… Why does this have to be so hard? "I-i'm… not sure Reed, maybe…" I reluctantly reply as my eyes point toward the ground. "But it'll be okay. I promise you that." I take a few steps toward Reed until I'm standing right in front of him. “I’m gonna get justice for Fang, once and for all.” My sudden determination is met with Reed’s blank stare as my words simply bounce off him, slightly swaying as he leans against the couch. I’m sorry Reed… It’s all going to be okay, I promise. There's nothing left that I can say to him. I turn away as I begin to walk towards the front hallway. Emboldened by my desire for vengeance, my thumb moves towards the top of the magnum's handle as I press down on the hammer. Click I'm coming for you skinnie… You're gonna wish you died on that fucking ro- “Wait, Trish!” What? I freeze in the middle of the hallway, surprised by Reed’s sudden words. What is it? His voice is followed by a couple of quick footsteps as I turn to see him emerge from the living room with a droopy yet worried expression on his face. “Whatrrr you gonna do with that?” He slurs as he points toward the revolver in my hands. "I told you already. I'm getting justice for Fang." I bluntly answer as I adjust my grip on the gun. "That monkey dies today for what he's done." The fear grows on his face as he seems to understand what I’m saying, filling me with surprise. How are you- "Trish, don't do it, man!" He continues to approach me until he's inches away. "Don't hurt Sage's grandma! Her bicycle didn't smack the whole schoool!" …What the fuck? Despite the carfe-fueled nonsense that pours out his mouth, it seems he's genuinely afraid. Like amid all that haze, the real Reed is trying to break through? How? I thought he destroyed his brain with that garbage. "No, Reed… He needs to die." I turn away from him as I walk towards the door, but I make it about two steps before my right hand is suddenly yanked back as I turn to see Reed attempting to wrestle the pistol away from me. “No!” I cry out, trying to break free from his grasp. BANG! “AAAGGHHH!!” FUCK! I watch with horror as Reed crumples to the ground, crying out in pain as he clutches his left thigh, attempting to keep the red liquid from leaking out the fresh hole in his leg. No… No no NO NO NO! THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO GET HURT! NOT ANYMORE! “Tri–trrrr-Ti-Tri” He struggles to say my name as he writhes on the ground with pain, a pure look of betrayal apparent on his face. “I…I’m s-s-so sorry Reed…” I look at the gun in my hands, the barrel still smoking as the trembling in my hands matches my voice. I did this… I shot my only friend left… I’m paralyzed with remorse, horrified over what I’ve just done… But then the image appears in my mind once more. Anon… Holding hands with that green whore… While Fang lies on the ground bloodied and broken. Why should he get a second chance? When everything happened because of him?! No, I have to keep going... ...For Fang. "I'm sorry, Reed…" I sadly look to the wounded Raptor on the ground before turning away. "But I can't let you stop me. I need to do this." I hate myself for doing this… My hand reaches to open the door in front of me, stepping through the frame as I'm greeted with the sight of the hallway of doors. “For Fang…” “N-no.. Fa-Tris-” Reed attempts to cry out before I close the door behind me. Please be okay, I'm so sorry to have to do this... Making sure the hammer isn't pressed down, I shove the gun into my right pocket as my legs carry me down the hallway, walking as quickly as I can away from the door. I don't know if anyone heard the gunshots, so I better get away from here fast. However, before I'm able to push open the door to the stairwell, I feel a rhythmic vibration coming from my left pocket as a muffled tune plays. RING RING RING RING Sweet Raptor Jesus… Who the fuck is calling me now of all times?! I pull out the phone and raise the screen up to my face, filling me with a sense of annoyance as I recognize the name on the screen. This is the LAST thing I need right now. Regardless, I press the button and move the phone's speaker to the side of my head. “What do you want Moe? I-” "Trish! Listen t' me!" He says with a frantic and worried tone, muffled chattering and sounds overlapping in the background. "DO NOT go through whateva's you'se gonna do! It's not worth it!" What? How did he find out? “What do you-” "Rip let it slip' that he gave you his gun to take out Anon, just listen to me! PLEASE! You can't do this, this ISN'T what Lu-" Moe catches himself briefly. "This ain't wat Fang woulda wanted, you know this!" Why… His attempts to dissuade me only fill me with anger as I clench my fist. "Why is it that you constantly cover and look out for this worthless degenerate human time and time again?" I growl as my grip on my phone tightens. "It's always the fucking same with you." I open the door to the stairwell, giving me a sense of privacy as I'm left alone with this fossil on the phone. "'Oh no! Please don'ts kill Anon, he's a good kid! He loved Lucy too! Don't hurt him, fugget about it!'" I mock him with a fake Italian accent as I continue moving down the stairs. "HOW MANY MORE LIVES DOES HE NEED TO RUIN BEFORE YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL THAT HE DESERVES TO FUCKING DIE?!" I begin to feel my fingernails dig through my fingers. "You met Anon like two times… Fang and Naser looked up to you like an uncle, so why are YOU SHOWING MORE SYMPATHY FOR A FUCKING NOBODY INSTEAD OF YOUR OWN FAMILY?!" My outburst is met with silence as he lets out a sigh, clearly at a loss for words. “Tr…h… P..ase, y.. don…-” His words become garbled due to the bad cell connection “Fuck you, Moe.” I grit my teeth, unwilling to hear another word from him. “I’m done taking orders from you.” I move the phone from my ears before pressing the ‘end call’ button on the screen. BEEP I stop in place as I leer at the worn-out smartphone in my hand, practically held together by pure desperation. I can’t have them track me… Without giving it another thought, I wind up my arm before slamming the device against the ground with all my might. CRACK No amount of super glue or rubber bands can fix that. I continue walking down the staircase as fast as I can, no longer held back by any more distractions or obstacles. I have to get to Volcano High as soon as I can, knowing Moe he's probably gonna try and warn them. Just go ahead and fucking try, but it won’t make any difference… Meanwhile, at Volcano High After a rather uneventful drive due to our mutual nervousness, Stella and I finally arrived at our high-school. The evening sky shines slightly orange as the air is filled with the noxious scent of burnt rubber. I have no idea how that guy manages to stay in business. "Right? He really needs to be more careful!" Stella looks at me with a worried look. …anyways. I utter a soft ‘yeah exactly’ to Stella as I take a moment to process the site in front of me. Volcano High. It still looks exactly as I remember it. The last time I was here, I ended up leaving in an ambulance… No… The memories begin to flood, the memories that have continued to haunt me for the past six months. All the bodies… Naomi’s brains splattered all over the floor as her boyfriend bled to death outside the door, the wails and horror from the students that could’ve lost their lives… So many ghosts… So much pain… “Anon?” The weight of my memories begins to crush me, completely overwhelming me to the point where I feel like I can’t breathe. No… No, you can’t keep doing this anymore. You can't just keep getting scared or nervous every time you see someone or something related to the shooting. I know you can do this. Stella and Rosa proved to you that no one is beyond saving. They saved you, but now you have to save yourself! I… I know I start to regain my composure as I clear my thoughts, taking in a deep breath of air as it cools my senses. “Are you okay, Anon?” I turn to see the lime stegosaurus taking hold of my hand, a mixture of sympathy and worry painted across her face. "Yeah... Sorry about that." I reassure her as I nod my head. "It's just been a hot minute since I've been here is all." The sympathy on her face deepens before she pulls me in for a hug. Feeling her warm embrace, putting my mind at ease even further. You need to be strong for her, Anon. "I know, baby, me too." Her gentle voice soothes my ear. "But we're in this together, right?" I feel her arms loosen around me as we break away from the hug. There I'm able to see Stella's supportive smile. “Always.” I mimic her smile. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Stella.” The grin on her face widens as pink emerges across her green face. “I was gonna say the same thing about you.” Stella's smile fades as she leans in and closes her eyes. I begin to echo her actions as our lips meet. Her soft lips wrestle against mine, tasting her vanilla lipstick as tingles shiver down my spine. I love you so much, Stella… “AHEM!” Oh fuck’s sake, we were having a nice moment! The two of us break away with surprised looks on both our faces as we turn to see a purple tyrannosaurus woman staring at us with a disapproving look on her face. She has to be in her sixties at least. Have I seen this woman before? “I hope you two know that you’re at a public event, yes?” She scowls at us, causing Stella to grow a look of discomfort. “Uhhh…. Yes?” I answer with uncertainty and annoyance. Why does this Karen care if two people decide to make out, AWAY from everyone else… Besides, it's not like we're having sex on the front steps or anything. I feel a jab in my gut as Stella looks at me with an annoyed look on her face. Shit, of course… I really hope it's just her that heard that, although I don't know if it would be worse if I mumbled her being a 'karen' or- “So can you explain to me why you two believe it is appropriate to be canoodling on school grounds?” The woman’s scornful question interrupts my train of thought. 'Canoodling?' God, this lady is a fossil. “We uhh…. I-” “Principal Roberts!” A familiar voice calls out to our left. Oh, thank Raptor Jesus. We all turn to see a concerned Rosa approaching us from the side path leading to the school's parking lot. "It is okay. I told them they would be able to come!" The ankylosaur glances at both of us before turning to her again. "I am not sure if you have met them yet, but this is Stella Baudelaire and Anon Mous. They both went to Volcano High before they graduated last year." Principal Roberts flashes an unamused look before turning to Rosa. "Be that as it may, Volcano High is a prestigious institution, and we would do our best to uphold that reputation." Yeah, quite the prestige to have your school shot up and half your staff quit. …Jesus, that was a little bit harsh, don't you think, Anon? "Please, Mrs R- Principal Roberts! Stella and Anon were two of the most amazing gardeners that I have ever had the pleasure of working with." She looks at the principal with pleading eyes. "Without them, I would have never been able to make the school's garden as beautiful as last year." As the words leave Rosa, I notice the scowl on the elderly tyrannosaur’s face begins to soften. “It brought a tear to Principal Spears’ eye!” Principal Roberts lets out a sigh as she seems convinced by Rosa's argument. "Very well, in light of their previous service, I can permit these two to attend the event." Her voice carries a slight sadness to it. Maybe it was the mention of Spears? "However!" The sternness returns to her face as she looks at Stella and me. "You two will be on your best behaviour and not disrupt the event. Do we have a deal?" I open my mouth to answer, but Stella is the first to respond. "We will ma'am, thank you!" Principal Roberts replies with a quiet 'hmph' before facing Rosa again. "Can I assume you are well prepared for this event Ms. Castillo?" Rosa snaps into focus as she nods her way. “Si, Principal Roberts! I can assure you that this event will be a success.” "Excellent…" A slight smile forms on the principal's lips. "Carry on then." As she begins to leave, Rosa turns to us with an annoyed look. I know exactly what she's mad about too. I remember hearing Rosa tell me how strict this new principal was, but I didn't think she was this much of a cunt. "Why are you two trying to cause trouble right now? Do you not realize how important this event is to me?" She says with a flustered expression. "Lo último que necesito ahora es tener problemas con el director el día de la exposición." I… did not catch a single word of that. "Rosa…" Stella is the first to respond as she takes a step toward her friend and places a hand on her shoulder, causing the Ankylo's annoyance to turn into remorse. "Lo siento… I did not mean to talk to you like that." Rosa let out a sigh. "I am just under a lot of pressure with this showcase right now, I believe everything is ready, but I am just nervous I will do something to mess it all up." I take a step forward as I smile at Rosa. "I know you won't mess it up. There's not a single person on this planet I know that's as passionate about this sort of thing as you are." Rosa’s lips curl upward as my encouragement seems to have an effect on her. "You're the daughter of the most talented flower gardener in all of Volcadera Bluffs. His magic runs through your veins." I assure her as the smile on her face grows. "Thank you two! I hope you know how much it means to me that you have come here today." Warmth envelopes Rosa's voice before she pulls the two of us in for a hug. A-A rather tight hug… Fuck I forgot how strong she is. Stella seems to fare better as she lets out a happy chuckle and wraps her arms around Rosa and me. It makes sense since she's known her longer than me and is used to this kind of thing. I follow her actions and wrap my arms around them both as we all embrace in a group hug. “Gracias chicos, sois los mejores amigos que podría pedir…” She's gonna do great, I know she will… The embrace lasts for a few seconds before I’m the first one to break the silence. “So when does the event start?” Rosa's face lights up with surprise right in front of me. Her body jerks into action, almost knocking me and Stella on our asses, making me REALLY glad I don't need crutches to walk right now. “¡Mierda, así es! The showcase will start in fifteen minutes.” Worry grows on the ankylo’s face as she realizes how little time she has left. “We need to head to the garden right away!” Stella and I smile and nod at each other before turning to our friend. “Lead the way!” We left the school steps as quickly as we could, cutting through the parking lot towards the back of the school where the garden is located. I still remember chasing after Fang through this path on the first day I met Rosa. The school's parking lot lies mostly barren and empty compared to the hordes of cars I remembered being here, other than a lone sedan and some SUVs. Although I'm surprised I don't see Rosa's car here, isn't she always driving? At least, that's what it felt like when we hung out. After trekking through the deserted lot, we reach our destination as the school's garden enters my field of view, the sight of which leaves me in complete awe. Holy. Raptor. Jesus. I knew Rosa said she's been working on the garden for most of the semester, if not the entirety, but still… Along the path of gravel lays rows of flowers ranging from a variety of different colors as small signs that explained the meaning of the flowers sat before them. The floral rainbow breathed so much life into a garden I didn't think was possible. I’m almost surprised they didn’t wait till June to do this. thud A jab to the stomach and a scornful look from my Stego companion confirms I mumbled that part out loud. Thankfully, I think Stella's the only one who heard that. But still, it’s beautiful. Rosa put her heart and soul into this, that much is obvious from the stunning view before our eyes. If only Principal Spears were around to see, if he was impressed with her work then I couldn't imagine what his reaction would be now. "So… What do you two think?" Rosa turns to us with a slightly sheepish look, contrasting the typical confidence she displays in her abilities. "Does it look good enough?" "Are you kidding me, Rosa? It's so pretty!" Stella lights up with glee, much to Rosa's delight, showing her reaction is the same as mine. "I love just how much you've transformed the garden. It's… I don't even know what to say!" A shade of red begins to grow across the ankylo's face as her lips curl into a grin. "Aww gracias! You do not think it is too… tacky?" "Not at all, it's incredible Rosa…" I smile as I gaze at the flowers once more. "You've really outdone yourself this time. I guarantee you that everyone who comes here tonight is gonna love it." Rosa's blushing continues to grow as the encouragement from the two of us begins to invigorate her and wash away the anxiety that plagued her. "Sí, mija. Your papa is looking down at you with nothing but pride. I know it in my heart." A familiar voice calls out from the end of the path, I look to see none other than Rosa's mother approaching her daughter with a sweet smile on her face, raising her arms open. Rosa turns to face her mother, her body language exuding happiness as she embraces her mother. The two begin conversing with each other in their mother tongue as they hold each other. I take notice of a tear falling from her mother's eye while the joyous expression on her face remains. I can't make out exactly what they're saying, but from tears falling from the eyes of the Castillo matriarch and the sound of Rosa's voice beginning to break, it isn't hard to imagine what exactly they're talking about. Or rather who. I feel the soft touch of Stella’s hand taking hold of mine, her fingers interlocking with me as I turn to see the loving smile on her face. I can’t help but match her happiness. The love between a mother and her child, a sacred bond between two souls that can't be shattered. Even if I don't have that bond, I'm happy to know it exists… Especially for someone as kind as Rosa. “Ahem!” …Are you fucking serious, lady? The warm moment between Rosa and her mother gets snuffed out as the new principal approaches the two from the other side of the garden as two students watch from behind. They must be part of the gardening club too. "Just so you are aware, Rosa. The showcase is about to begin very soon. Please ensure that you are prepared." Principal Roberts informs her with a sense of thinly veiled disdain. “Sorry about that, Principal Roberts! I will make sure everything is ready for the event!” The elderly tyrannosaurus nods with an aloof 'hm," before walking past Stella and I as she leaves the garden. As she leaves our view, Rosa kisses her mom goodbye before approaching the two students waiting for her. "Stella and An-on! It is good to see you two again!" Ms. Castillo greets us with a friendly smile on her face. Her eyes light up as she takes notice of my left leg, delighted to see that I can stand without crutches. "¡Oh, bien! Your leg seems to have healed quite a lot since the last time I saw you." I take a look down, noticing the metal brace attached to my leg. Still a cripple, but at least I feel like a cyborg now. “Even without the wheelchair and minigun?” Stella cheekily responds to my inner thoughts. Rosa's mother chuckles at Stella's quip about an old conversation we had. "A w-what? Oh, Dios mío, you kids today have some of the strangest fantasies." Compared to some of the... Well, other 'fantasies' I've heard of, being a cripple with a mini-gun seems pretty milquetoast. "If I may ask, does it still hurt?" A concerned look grows across the Ankylo's face. "With an injury such as that, I could see how much it would still hurt after all this time." It’s actually been a lot better, or maybe I’ve just gotten used to the pain. But the fact I’ve been able to stand and even not get knocked on my ass when I’ve taken Ghibli for walks, I’ve been doing way better than I thought I would. And there was that time with Stella in the occultist shop I dropped my crutches and I was able to stand. I felt a bit sore, but not any of the excruciating pain I expected. "Not much as I thought it would, but I think I'm in the clear now." I tell her with a reassuring tone. "Oh, that is wonderful to hear!" She says with a warm expression. "I am delighted to hear that you've been able to heal." “My man’s a pretty tough guy after all!” Stella chirps in with a confident voice. Heh, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but who am I to argue? Before either Stella or I can continue, Ms. Castillo's face lights up with surprise before she begins to squeal with joy. "OOOHHH!! ¡Así es!" I'm taken aback by her sudden burst before she quickly closes the gap and envelopes us in a… bone crushingly tight… hug… Fuck… It m-must run in the family!.... "Rosa told me you two started dating. Ohhhh, you two make such a cute couple!" Stella lets out a giggle as a blush forms across her face. "Awww, thank you!" At least Stella seems to fare better… Then again, she is used to this kind of thing, too I guess… As Rosa's mother lets us go, she begins to overwhelm us with the typical questions two 18-year-olds in a relationship would get asked. ‘When are we getting married?’ ‘Are you gonna have kids?’ Her questions even make Stella a little bit uncomfortable… Hopefully, the show can start soon… Over the course of the next little while, students and their parents visited the showcase to admire the fruits of Rosa's labour, taking the chance to talk with the people in charge of the showcase as well as discussing the meaning of the flowers planted like an artist at a museum explaining the hidden meanings and emotions that went into their art. Although unlike most 'museum artists' nowadays who just squirt ketchup onto a blank canvas and call it a day, Rosa gave it her all, which makes all the praise she's received this evening well deserved. Stella and I watched her converse with many of the visitors with enthusiasm as she gleefully explain what each group of flowers meant to represent. Stella watching her interactions with immense enthusiasm, it does make sense after all since she was pretty much Rosa’s second-in-command when it came to the gardening club. Flowers such as the Pink Azaleas and Bluebells are supposed to represent family and friendship. In contrast, the White Lilies, Marigolds, and Red Poppies symbolize loss and remembrance, her way of memorializing the people she's lost in her life. I can’t say I’m too familiar with flowers and gardening from the few times I went to the gardening club, but it warmed my heart to see how much it all meant to Rosa. Her evergrowing enthusiasm, her bright smile, her heart must be filled with joy to see all of her work pay off, I even see Stella shed a tear out of happiness for her friend. She’s been through a great deal of hell too, she deserves to have this win. But among the flowers in the garden, there were three that stuck out to me in particular all evening, but for awhile I couldn't explain why. White Roses, Blue Stars, Red Roses… A symbol for new beginnings, for strength, for love… It wasn’t until I brought them up to Stella that I realize why those three flowers stood out to me. She reminded me of the tarot reading she did for us that evening I visited her house two months ago. Death, Strength, Lovers. All of them are upright too, its meaning mirroring the flowers on display. This has to be a coincidence. Either Stella must have told Rosa to plant those flowers beforehand or maybe… Maybe it really is fate. Maybe Stella really does have the right idea with this astrology stuff. I’ll have to ask Stella if she did suggest them to Rosa once we get out of here, which seems to be pretty close as the event begins to wrap up and the amount of people roaming the gravel path becomes more scarce. To my surprise, Rosa shows no signs of slowing down as she maintains her eager and energetic persona. Although this event only lasts for two hours, and the shortest wagie shift is twice as long as that, so I guess it's no big deal for her. Still, I’ll never know how any of them can do it. As the hour passes, Stella and I decide to step away from the garden for that same reason since we haven't had a moment alone uninterrupted yet this evening. “I knew Rosa was an incredible gardener, but I continue to be blown away by what she could do.” I express to my Stego GF, walking by the side of the school as we hold hands. "Right?! Rosa was really secretive about it too!" She beamed with approval. "She didn't show me any of it, no picture, no details, nothing! Other than her telling us why she wanted to do this!" To honor the ones she lost. "She truly has a good heart. I hope she knows just how proud everyone is of her." I smile as we approach the entrance of the school by the top of the steps “Yeah… It’s like her mom said! Her dad is looking at her from heaven with pride!” Heaven… I haven't given the afterlife much thought in awhile. I'm not one of those redditors that shit on any concept of it, but I do find it scary to think about. Like constantly worrying where you end up when you die, whether it's in some pit of fire or in the clouds, it's always kind of scary to keep wondering which one I'll end up in. And it's even harder for me to think about the possibility that Fang didn't end up in the latter, even if her tombstone said 'Heaven restores you in light.' I want to believe, but it's just… hard. "Is everything okay, Anon?" Stella stops as she looks at me with concern and worry." "Y-yeah, I'm okay, don't worry." "No, you're not, Anon." Both of her hands were now holding mine. "Something's been upsetting you the past few days, and I know it's more than that dream you had." A stern but worried look appears on her face as she calls me out on my lies. She thinks I'm still upset like I was when we slept in her room the other night. It's not why but that has been weighing on the back of my mind for the last few weeks. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I'm sorry Stella, I don't wanna ruin things for you. But please understand I can't tell you, for your sake. "Please, baby, I want to help you." She caresses my cheek with her hand after letting go of mine. "We're in this together… Right?" Fuck… What am I doing? I'm not protecting her. I'm being a coward… Breaking promises because I'm too much of a pussy to tell her what's really going on. But I just keep seeing the image of that scared girl flash through my mind at the prospect of telling her about Trish. Her perpetual state of shellshock, the grief-stricken isolation, and the trauma… I'm terrified of getting Stella hurt like that. But she's right… I can't keep lying to her like this. I'll just end up pushing her away and making things worse. …Like I always do. “Please…” Her azure eyes gleam as she pleads with me to open up. “Okay… I’m sorry.” A look of shame appears across my face as I prepare myself to tell her the truth. Here it goes... "Okay... It's about-" “ANNNOOOON!!!!” What the fuck?! Both of our arms pull away as we turn towards the source of the voice. Wait? Moe?! The two of us see Fang and Naser's adoptive uncle run up the stairs in our direction, his entire being radiating fear and concern as he rapidly climbed the steps toward us. “Moe?! What are you doing here?!” I call out to him. “I-It’s her! You’se two betta get out of here!” He gestures with his right hand to come with him. “She’s comin’ to whack-” BANG FUCK! The ear-splitting crack disorients me for a briefing second, blasting me with an intense wave of fear. Amidst the ringing in my ears, I open my eyes to Moe screaming in pain as clutching his right arm that… Oh god… OH FUCK! Moe’s right arm is now missing a chunk of flesh from his elbow as he bleeds profusely, his blue button-up shirt now painted with a new shade of crimson. "GODDAMNIT!" An enraged, feminine voice calls out as I look to my left to see Trish approaching the stairs from our left , jumping over the railing from the grass as she holds… Oh no… WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GET THAT?! WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GET FANG'S REVOLVER?! The barrel of her gun still smoking as she turns towards Stella and me, staring us down with a venomous look in her eyes. I've had so many nightmares of Fang or Naser or Naomi pointing that fucking gun at me, crippling me, killing me, but now… It's real. Oh god, it's real! “WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING LIKE ALWAYS MOE?!” Trish turns to the maimed Tyrannosaurus as he continues to writhe on the steps. "Tiii–rrrr-n--no-pah-" Moe tries to speak through the pain but to no avail. Fuck… She really means to kill me… I turn to see my left to Stella horrified at the sight of a Man getting most of his arm blown off as the very same gun that almost took her life at this school is now staring us in the face once more. No… I can’t lose her too. I CAN’T LOSE HER! I have to do something. "Trish…" I take a step forward as I attempt to keep my composure. "You don't wanna do this, please… Your beef is with me and me alone." “SHUT UP!!” She spits at me with rage. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this skinnie, you’re finally gonna get what’s fucking coming to you, and then Fang can finally rest easy.” Trish's threat is emphasized by her thumb moving across the revolver's hammer, pressing it down as it makes a click sound. I take a deep breath as I steel myself for what's to come. This is a fucking stupid idea. "You have every right to hate me for what happened, Trish. I was a terrible boyfriend to her, a terrible friend to you and Reed." I take a few steps back as I try to position myself in front of Stella in an attempt to shield her. "And maybe if I had gotten over myself and been a better person, things wouldn't have gone the way they did." My words do nothing to affect the Triceratops as her hateful gaze lingers, her pistol still aimed at me. “Anon?” Stella sheepishly whispers to me, not nearly as frightened as before. "Just stay behind me. It'll all be okay…" I whisper back to her. My eyes locked onto Trish as I try my best not to piss my pants. “But Fang chose to shoot up the school! Fang chose to murder her own brother and his girlfriend! Fang chose to destroy so many families that day!" I remind Trish as I begin to feel anger swelling inside me. I don't know if it's because I'm angry at Trish or myself… …Or even Fang. Have I been angry at her all this time, and I didn't even know it? I can't worry about that right now. "And you!" I point a finger at Trish as she grits her teeth. "She was in one of the darkest places in her life, and insteading of helping you just pushed her further down the rabbithole!" "I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HER!! Long before you ever came here…" Trish ragefully retorts as a degree of sadness emerges from her voice. “YOU MANIPULATED HER! You set her against the whole world as you molded her in your image, never listening to what she had to say, only what you wanted her to say.” I take a deep breath as I look at the subtle degree of surprise growing across Trish’s face. I can’t get too aggressive here… One wrong move and Stella and I are dead. "I know you loved her more than anything, and I did too. But we both fucked up for Fang's sake." I reach out behind me and grab Stella's hand. "But this is between you and me! Leave Stella out of this…" Trish's rage fades into bitterness as she moves the gun toward- No… "Why?! Why do you get to keep the girl you love after you took away the only person I ever loved?!" Her voice spits with vitriol and grief as her eyes point toward Stella. “I didn’t. I lost her too…” And I’m terrified of losing another… Trish begins to grit her teeth at my response, as if she’s snarling like a vengeful beast out for blood. Shit, this really isn’t good… I feel a burst of fear in my chest as I feel Stella step from behind me, putting her in front of me. "I'm not afraid of you, not anymore…" She says with determination as she stares Trish down. However, there's no malice in Stella’s voice at all. "Oh, I'll give you a reason to be afraid of me, you racist bitch!" Stella, what the hell are you doing?! Step back! "I'm sorry… I-I shouldn't have said that to you. It was wrong and unkind." A degree of remorse appears in her voice as she attempts to keep herself calm. "But please, don't do this, Trish. It doesn't have to be this way!" "It does… He needs to die for what he did!" Trish's voice begins to break as tears start to fall down her cheek. I should hate her for what she’s done to me. She’s done nothing but bully me and make my life hell when I first moved to Volcadera Bluffs, not to mention how she aired out my dirty laundry to the rest of the school, turning me into the same social pariah I fled from Rock Bottom as. How she tried to sabotage my relationship with Fang, how she's tried to kill me multiple times along with Stella. But I can only feel pity when I look at her now, this vengeful shell of a girl who's been consumed by grief and hate. She’s been suffering just as much as I have, and I can’t help but feel bad for her. "Please, Trish…" Stella's voice softens as she takes a step toward her. "This isn't what Fang would've wanted…" As those words left Stella's mouth, Trish closed her eyes as tears continued rolled down her cheek as her lips quivered with anguish. “I-I know..” The troubled Triceratops's arm begins to jitter, rattling the revolver in her hands as she begins to shudder. Uncertainty hangs in the air as Stella and I are left standing there in fear, unable to determine the next move Trish’ll make. Should we try and take the gun from her, do we call for help? I look to see Moe writhing against the stairwell, grasping his arm as his screams turn into hyperventilating .The bleeding seems to have settled down but… Is he gonna be okay? Fuck… My attention is turned back to Trish as her arm lowers slowly to the ground, as she begins to sob quietly. A wave of relief washes over me. Maybe we're safe now, perhaps we- Oh shit… The fury returns to Trish as her sobs turn into enraged huffs and grunts, raising her pistol towards Stella once more. No! NO FUCK! “AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!!” Acting as quickly as I can, I push her to the side before Trish can- BANG NOOOOO!!!!!!!! I'm filled with terror as Stella screams out in pain as she crumples to the ground, Trish staring at us frenzied look in her eyes. No god! Please! PLEASE, NOT AGAIN! I fall to the ground as I cradle her in my arms, desperately trying to stop the bleeding from her shoulder by pressing down against the wound. “NNNGGGGH!” She grunts in pain as she struggles to open her eyes. “Ahh…ah-An…” She attempts to speak before she closes her eyes.. No… No no no!!! PLEASE!!! NOT AGAIN!! NOT LIKE THIS! She's still breathing, but she must have passed out from the pain. I can’t do this! Not again! Tears fall from my eyes as I'm completely paralyzed with fear as I hold an unconscious Stella in my arms while Trish stares at me with murderous intent, the barrel still smoking from her gun. “Oye! What are you-” A distant voice calls out as I turn to see Rosa watching from the other side of the side entrance, her voice lighting up with horror and dread as she sees Stella bleeding in my arms. “PLEASE! GET HELP!” I scream out to Rosa before turning back to Trish and- Oh no… NO!!!!! BANG [POST-NOTES] Now the penultimate chapter is finished, we are now ready for the final curtain for Bad Apple in the next chapter. First off, I want to give a HUGE shoutout to my friend Pasta who helped me with critique and formatting with this chapter, it has been insanely helpful and I greatly appreciate it! I can’t say too much, but I look forward to showing you all how it ends… Author Notes: Ever on and on I continue circling With nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony Till slowly I forget and my heart starts vanishing And suddenly I see that I can't break free, I'm Slipping through the cracks of a dark eternity With nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony To tell me who I am, who I was Uncertainty enveloping my mind Till I can't break free, and Maybe it's a dream; maybe nothing else is real But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel So I'm tired of all the pain, of the misery inside And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night You can tell me what to say; you can tell me where to go But I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know If I make another move there'll be no more turning back Because everything will change, and it all will fade to black If I make another move, if I take another step Then it all would fall apart. There'd be nothing of me left If I'm crying in the wind, if I'm crying in the night Will there ever be a way? Will my heart return to white? Can you tell me who you are? Can you tell me where I am? I've forgotten how to see; I've forgotten if I can If I opened up my eyes there'd be no more going back 'Cause I'd throw it all away, and it all would fade to black… Thank you all for reading, stay tuned for the final chapter. Follow my twitter @ItsUmbruhh and my youtube channel for more updates… Love you all…