Summary: The future is yours to mold. Reach out and grab it.

 I jerked awake. My breathing labored as I fought to get air. Fuck! I was back there.. I think? The faded images of the dream were already slipping away. Come on, in and out, in and out. I can’t fucking breathe! I clutched at my chest, my breaths coming in shortened gasps. A panic attack? No only pussies have those.. Though I have been pretty emotional lately.. My vision darkened a bit before I managed to suck in another quick breath without choking on the air. Oh fuck I'm a pussy! My hand managed to grasp something finally, it bit into my hand painfully as I squeezed it.  

 

Rosa’s cross… I’m not back there.. I’m still here. Just breathe. Fuck.. Your fine Anon, Fang’s fine, everyone is fine.. A few agonizing minutes later I finally had enough air in me to focus some. It was still dark in my room, lit only by a glow from my table. My phone was vibrating. 

 

Fang was calling me.. And seeing her name on the id finally slowed my heart down a bit. I had missed her first call, probably what woke me up. I quickly snatched it up and tried to get my breathing under control. I pressed the button and cleared my throat.

 

“..Hello.” The other side was quiet, but I could just make out breathing. “Lucy?” 

 

“Hey.. I didn't wake you, did I?” I looked at the time. 3am.

 

“Nope.”

 

“I did.. I’m sorry I'll let you get back to sleep..”

 

“Hey, come on what's up? I said anytime and that means ANYtime.” I heard her sigh into the phone.

 

“I feel-” she paused again, I could hear her take a breath. “Stupid. I had a dream.” You're not the only one. “I just needed to hear you.”

 

“Same.” I slowly let my grip slip from the cross. My heart was done having its little fit, so I could finally breathe properly. I guess sleeping alone again had drugged up bad memories. Maybe Fang isn't the only one who has issues they need to work through.

 

We talked until it was time to go to school. Just about random things, the topic didn't matter, the person listening did. We were on the phone literally until we could see each other in front of the school.

 

The school day went by ridiculously fast. Each class blurring together as the hours ticked on. Fang and Trish had a tearful reunion apparently that I missed in first period. We all also ate together in the auditorium for the first time in a while. It started to remind me of the good ole days… Before all the drama and prom. The whole Naomi situation was avoided as Fang ditched all their shared classes.. Which is kind of why we are in the situation we are… 

 

I was currently up the ladder trimming the vines, Fang holding it steady beneath me. Ya principal Spears didn't take too kindly to Fang ditching class her first day back after ditching school. So she's on garden duty for the rest of the week. I’m just a volunteer. But this didn't really feel like a punishment anymore. It was actually kind of nice.

 

“Watch it!” Fang was brushing vines from her hair.

 

“Ya not so funny now is it?” I suddenly had to grab tight as the latter jostled beneath me. “Ok ok! I got it!”

 

“An-on, Fang! Sé cuidadoso! 6 feet in the air is not the place to be playing amigos!” 

 

“Yes miss Rosa!”

“Yes miss Rosa!” Fang and I shouted at the same time. It wasn’t the first time we had gotten a scolding from the Latina, but they were all in good nature. 

 

Surprisingly Rosa and Fang got along pretty well. I mean they weren’t like, enemies or anything before. But after getting bombarded with congratulations and a bear hug that lifted her feet off the ground, Fang was warming up to her.

 

Even Naser was here. Though less enthusiastic as he was our ride to their house. And since we're stuck here he's stuck here. He was currently being directed by Stella on proper petal arrangement. Poor guy was giving his best ‘I’m class president and must show interest in everyone else's interests’ smile as she droned on and on about the different meanings. 

 

I did not envy the man. Allergic or not vine duty was infinitely better then flower arrangement. I had a pair of gloves on to avoid the most of it, though my eyes did start to water a bit halfway through causing me to tap Fang in to finish the fight. 

 

She was quick to forego the clippers and just tear them down with her claws. I was pretty impressed with how quickly she tore them down, easily finishing four times faster then I would have. Unfortunately our speedy completion was not rewarded as we got put on Rosa’s team. Which meant we were now carrying bags of soil from the storage shed to the beds.

 

My legs had finally gotten some strength back into them it seems, as I was able to make a few trips without too much hassle. Only a few twinges of pain that caused me to slow my pace at times. My pride as a man had me making sure I stayed one bag a head of Fang, regardless how much my back and arms protested it. Though I wasn’t fool enough to challenge Rosa..

 

Garden duty was pretty relaxing. Sure I probably wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t for who I was working with, I honestly don’t care for plants that much. But man did we need a day like this. Simple work to keep our mind busy and just not having to think about the past.

 

When the time came for us to clean up I was reaching my physical limit. Even Fang was rubbing her arms, wincing a bit when she brushed her feathers. No wonder Rosa was built like she was if she does this every day.

 

Naser on the other hand seemed fine, casually putting his atrocious jacket back on. The only evidence of labor being the bits of dirt he was quickly wiping from his hands. Damn athletes, lording their physical superiority over us normals. 

 

Fang excused herself to the bathroom, leaving me and Naser waiting at his car. 

 

“So.. How’s Fang doing?” I know she can look after herself, but that wouldn’t stop me from worrying.

 

“They’re doing alright. A little mopey this morning. But no screaming match with dad at breakfast so definitely an improvement.” He let out a sigh. “Look I don’t know what you did, but thank you.”

 

“I didn’t do anything.”

 

“Bull. They actually started talking to me again. And only a few insults!” He scratched at the back of his head. “Look, you know how they were before. I'm just trying to say that.. I'm glad I gave you the chance. Its only been a few days, but I actually feel like there's a future for them.” He stopped me before I could deny anymore involvement. “Well whether you did anything or not, just.. thank you.” 

 

“No problem. Honestly I should be thanking you. You didn’t have to risk anything to help us, but you did. You're a good brother, Naser.”

 

Fang came back into view as she left the building. She popped something into her mouth which I noticed was gum as she blew a small bubble. 

 

“Come on nerds, let's get moving.” she called as she hopped in the back seat. I was quick to join her, taking my regular spot as she stretched out into my lap. I took the time to run my hand through her hair, playing with the strands as I stroked her head.  Fang’s head tilted back into my touch and she blew a bubble towards my face. I caught a whiff of smoke hidden in the minty freshness when it popped. 

 

I brought two fingers to my lips and pretended to take a drag. She nodded in my lap and bumped a thumb towards the front seat before placing a finger over her snoot in a ‘shush’ symbol. I guess she didn't want Naser and her family to know she was still smoking. Now that I thought about it she did sneak off on that outing with Naomi to sneak one before we ditched. I caught Naser’s eye as he adjusted the rear view mirror.

 

“So what's y'all's agenda today?” He cranked the car and had us on the road. “Gonna actually do something? Or are you just planning to suck face in the bedroom?” 

 

“Anons going to help me catch up on all the homework we missed.” She winked up at me. “Though if he's good enough I'm sure I could spare a few minutes to reward him.” Naser faked a gag.

 

“Aw what's the matter Nibbles, I'm sure you've been caught doing worse.” Fang almost slid off the seat as he suddenly break checked the poor bastard behind us.

 

“Do not call me that!” Nibbles yelled from the front seat. 

 

“Ok! Jesus… So I'm assuming there's a story behind that?” The obsessive honking and racial slurs from the car behind us had Naser back up to normal speed again. Fang planted a boot into the back of his seat as well, glaring at him.

 

“No!”

 

“When we were kids Naser had a bad teething habit.” Fang chimed in. “Like really bad. Even after his teeth grew in he would gnaw on anything he could get his jaws around, ate right through the leg to his high chair.”

 

“That is.. Kind of scary.” 

 

I had seen Fang bare her… fangs before. I knew they were sharp. Sure they are carnivores, but knowing how much force they can really put off was a different story. If a toddler can bite through a chair while teething I wonder what Moe could rip through? It sent a shiver down my spine.

 

The ride past quickly, I swear my perception of time was fucked up. I mean, I did time travel… could that fuck up my time? Like were my molecules unstable? Fuck stop thinking about that Anon, your gonna freak yourself out or melt your brain! Science and physics may be the only courses I'm good at, but this was beyond anything I could imagine. 

 

Luckily no one was home when we arrived. I wasn't too keen on meeting Ripley so soon. Naser gave us a peace sign as he went upstairs to what I could assume to be his room. Lucy grabbed my hand and drugged me up to hers.

 

 It was the same as I remembered. Black walls, colorful posters, guitars hung up, and sitting in the corner was an electric piano. Along one of the walls a string of polaroid photos were hung up, each one depicting a memory that I wasn't there for. But almost all of them contained a purple Trike. I was brought back when I heard a tearing sound.

 

Lucy had hopped up onto her bed at some point, a purple white and yellow flag in her claws. A growl slipped from her as she glared at the offending fabric. The sound of tearing cloth was all that could be heard in the room as she shredded it, her claws flexed out as she turned it into confetti. 

 

I let her blow off some steam, I learned my lesson on how dangerous she can be when mad. I wasn't about to get in between her until whatever set her off was good and dead. The confetti flag found itself dumped in a small garbage can as Lucy flopped onto her bed. 

 

I sat down on the bed. Lucy rolled towards me, her wings stretching out behind her. They looked fuller than I had ever seen them. Good. She grimaced, a hand stretching out as I grasped it in mine.

 

“You alright?” Lucy sighed, eyes darting away to stare at the wall.

 

“Sorry I freaked out.” She paused with a huff. “Forgot I had that and just.. I let it rule so much of my life. I thought I wasn't happy, and that this.. Thing would make me happy.” I gave her hand a squeeze, her eyes finally meeting mine again. “It was just an easy way out, an excuse. I wasn't happy with myself. And I didn’t want to actually work to make my life better. So it wasn't my fault.. It was everyone else’s.” Shame and anger blazed in her eyes. “But that short term validation ran out. And I was still unhappy.. I was worse than before! Nothing changed except now my family hated me, everyone at school fucking laughs at me!” She puttered out after her outburst, head thumping down into her covers. “I fell for a fucking scam..”

 

I wasn't sure what to say to her. I had never cared to look into this gender crisis, didn't think it would ever affect me. I suddenly had an idea as I stood from the bed, Lucy’s hand stretching out trying to follow me as left her hold. I found what I was looking for hanging from her wall. Plucking it up I settled down again, and began to play.

 

I could never forget this melody. It was the first time I felt me and Fang had taken a step into our relationship. The notes were a little off, maybe a little stumble here and there, but the song was still distinguishable. Our song..

 

“...You remembered…” Lucy's eyes finally peaked from the covers as she looked up towards me, her snoot tweaking into a small grin. I was too focused on trying not to screw up to respond to her. “But you sound pretty awful.” she laughed.

 

“Hey, I'm doing my best!” 

 

“Give it here.” I passed the guitar over as Lucy straightened up. The instrument settled into her grip perfectly, but she paused. Claw perched right above but not plucking. Her eyes looked panicked for a second before shifting into sadness.

 

“Hey.. You ok there?” My voice startled her out of her stupor. 

 

“Yes! Er.. ya I’m.. I’m fine.” She rolled her shoulders a bit and stretched her fingers. “Just.. remembered that night. Fuck!” Her hand shook as she tried to strum, almost no noise coming from the weak attempt. The next try had the note coming out sour. She tried again, but her shaky hands seemed to disobey her as the note butchered. Tears started to form in her eyes as a scowl twisted her face. “What the fuck is wrong with me! It's those.. Those fuckers! They did something to me!” She yelled “Come on Fang! This.. this is easy. Simple..” The note finally came out clear, before the next one stumbled again. Lucy stared at her hands like they had betrayed her, arms trembling as if they weighed a hundred pounds.

 

She jerked at my touch as I slid in behind her. I ignored her tear filled eyes as I gently worked myself into position. Pressed against her back and arms wrapped around her, settling in over her hands. Slowly we walked through the motions of our song, each strum left her hands a little more steady then the last. The melody came through stronger each pass. She didn't even notice when I had stopped leading her. She was in control again, speeding up and letting the song flow naturally and beautifully. Eventually the song came to an end, the last note hanging in the air as the ptero let it ride as long as it could. 

 

Lucy wiped at her eyes with the back of her arm. “Sorry… I’m sorry…”

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

 

“I do! I.. I was just freaking myself out!” I settled my arms around her waist and my head on her shoulder. “I don't even know why.. All it took was the thought that I couldn't play anymore and I folded like a fucking baby!” 

 

“You love music.” I tried my best to put my feelings into words. “It's why what they did hurt you so much. You've dedicated years of your life practicing, of course you would get scared if you suddenly couldn't play anymore. But one thing you need to realize is that you're amazing!”

 

“No I'm no-” 

 

“Yes you are!” I interrupted. “I've heard you play, I've heard you sing! I know what you can do because I've seen it!” I paused for a second to collect my thoughts, I was really trying not to ramble. “Remember Moe’s? They loved you there because you showed them who you are. They saw the same person that I see every day. They saw a woman up there who loved everything she was doing. You inspired people, Fang.” The rocker was nuzzling into me as I gave my grand speech. “And the fact that you look pretty damn good under the stage lights is a nice bonus.”

 

She shifted around in my grip until she was snoot to nose with me, cheeks a rosy tint. “I think someone has earned their reward..” I could feel her breath on my lips as she leaned closer. Let's just say that she spent the next hour or so ‘rewarding’ me.

 

Surprisingly Lucy was the one who pulled us back on track. I honestly didn't think we were actually going to be doing any work today, but sure enough I found myself sitting on the floor across from Lucy, papers spread out in front of us. I was in charge of sciences and she was in charge of music. Yea music.. What kind of fucking music class assigns homework? And this close to graduation! 

 

The work was easy. As I said, it was mainly busy work to keep us quiet in class. But one caught our attention, an english assignment. What are your plans after graduation… I didn't have any plans. I had never had any plans. What was I going to do after highschool? The service or college, those were my choices right? I glanced over to Lucy. Her paper was blank as well as she chewed on the back of her pen. The service was out of the question. I promised on her grave I would never leave her alone again, and I plan to keep my word.

 

That just leaves college. My grades sucked, which really narrowed my options. I'm starting to really wish I had applied myself more.. Movement caught my attention. Lucy had begun to write something down. Her eyes were sharp as she gave a little nod before sitting up and turning to me. 

 

“No ideas?”

 

“Well I never really had to think about it before I guess. I've narrowed it down to college, but don't really have a degree plan or anything. What about you?” The ptero suddenly looked a bit embarrassed.

 

“Promise you won't laugh..” She mumbled, not so subtly shifting her paper out of view.

 

“I promise I’ll try not to laugh.” I stuck a hand in the air as if swearing an oath. 

 

“Promise dweeb!” 

 

“Alright I promise!” The paper was slowly revealed as she tried to hide in her wings. Written in ink were two simple words. Music teacher… Lucy wanted to be a music teacher. 

 

“..I know that Wurm Drama is my dream. But it all feels so unrealistic now.” She mumbled behind the wall of feathers. “I just figured.. If things don't work out, It would be better to have a backup plan. One that I could see myself enjoying. I.. don't want music to be something I’m scared of. I really liked teaching you how to play our song.” A yellow eye peaked from behind the veal of feathers.

 

“You could do it.” She peaked out farther. “Honestly I would say you were limiting yourself. I mean you taught ME how to play something, that's like the equivalent of Mozart's symphony.”

 

“Oh shut up!” A giggle broke through the barrier as the rocker covered herself again. 

 

“I mean it. If that's what you want to do, then you’ll knock it out of the park.” Fang the music teacher.. I was picturing her in a turtleneck with those little librarian glasses, a pair of khaki pants.. Ya I couldn't picture it in my head very well, but I could definitely see her teaching idiots like me how to pass music class.

 

“Well what about you?”

 

“Like I said, I don't really know.” I laid out on the ground, staring at the ceiling. I crossed my arms behind my head in a ‘cool guy’ pose as I tried to think. “My grades suck.. I don't know what I want to do.”

 

“You said college right?” She flopped down next to me. 

 

“Well it's that or the service… And service sure as hell isn't calling to me.”

 

“I can't picture you in a uniform.” I felt one of her wings poke me as she shifted onto her side, facing me. “What's wrong with college? Is it.. financial issues?” I shook my head.

 

“No. My father said he would pay for college as long as I could get accepted. Though it might shock the socks off him when I tell him the news, pretty sure we both had a silent agreement that I was going to the army.”

 

“Then come with me!” I jumped a bit at the shout, looking over at the culprit. “They would take you! It's super close and easy to-” Lucy cut herself off as she coughed into her hand. “Er I mean.. If you wanted to.. There is the public university. It's in the city, and they take practically anyone.” She fiddled with her hair a bit as her face lit red. “I mean I don’t have good grades either so it's kind of the only place that will take me. And well, we would be close, to help each other and stuff…” The last bit came out as a mumbled mess.

 

“Would they really take me? My grades are worse than yours..”

 

“Definitely! It's practically 100% dinos so if nothing else you would probably meet the diversity quota thing! We could find a cheap apartment to split and-” She rolled onto her elbow facing me fully, before once again avoiding my eyes as she trailed a claw through her carpet. “..It's a suggestion.. Sorry if I'm being a little clingy.”

 

“Come on now, none of that.” I copied her movement and propped myself up on an elbow. “Honestly I was already trying to  come up with plans to stay with you, If either of us is clingy it's me.” 

 

“Well you have my permission to be as clingy as you want, I love having my man wrapped around my claw.” I rolled my eyes before trying to get my thoughts back on track. 

 

“Ok so we may have found a college. What would I study there?”

 

“Doesn't matter!” I quirked an eyebrow at her as she grinned at me.

 

“I’m pretty sure it does..”

 

“Nope! Not at first anyways. Everyone has the general classes that all degrees need to have right?” I nodded, starting to follow along with her. “Take those and it would buy you another year to decide on what you want to do!”

 

“You might be onto something there..”

 

“Of course I am, I’m a fucking genius!” Was it really that easy? Just say fuck it and think about it later? Welp, Fuck it!

 

“So I guess I should start working on my application.” I found myself lying back on the floor as the resident genius dozered me over.

 

Anon the college student huh? Definitely never saw this coming in my life. I felt myself sag into the carpet with relief. I would get to stay with Lucy.. she might be feeling clingy, but it’s nothing compared to me. 

 

I had come to terms with the fact that without her I was done. I was ready to kill myself… The thought of being alone again.. If Lucy wasn’t in the room with me I probably would have descended into another panic attack. But having the gothic ptero snuggling into my chest was better than any therapy. 

 

A flash from the door startled me from my thoughts. From the crack of the frame I could see a tiny ptero with a familiar camera, looking a bit startled herself, hand covering the top of the device too late to block the flash.

 

“Mom!” Fang shot off of me. “No! No pictures!”

 

“Oh hush, I didn't get any pictures of you before prom so I'm putting my foot down.” Samantha had the camera held high in the air. You know, as if Fang couldn't just reach up and grab it. “If you're going to be bringing Anon over then I hold the right to take pictures of the two of you.”

 

“It’s embarrassing!”

 

“You’ll want these pictures one day. Time goes so fast, before you know it your own kids will be leaving the nest. And you will be right there begging your own daughter for one last picture.” The mother had a faraway look in her eye as she clutched the camera to her chest. Her smile was real but didn't quite reach her eyes. “Hearing you both talk about college.. It reminded me that you'll be leaving soon.” 

 

“Mom…” earlier embarrassment apparently forgotten, Fang shifted back and forth on her feet, as if unsure of what to do. I tapped her back and gave a little nod of my head towards the diminutive dino. Catching on she slowly slid forward and hugged her.

 

“I’m sorry I got things emotional. I've had 18 years to prepare for this moment, but it still wasn't enough.”

 

“We’re not going far. Well, Naser is. But I will probably still be in the city. I could.. like, come back on the weekends and have dinner.”

 

“You don’t have to do that..” Samantha pulled back from the hug. “Every weekend would be a hassle for you. Just promise you’ll visit, at least once a month. Your father’s a nervous wreck these days and I don’t know how he’ll handle an empty house.”

 

“It won't be empty.” I wasn't sure if I was allowed in this conversation, but if I wanted to be part of this family I had to leave my comfort zone. “You'll still have each other. He’s a big softie so you might have to pull him out of the house for some date nights every now and then. But you won’t be alone.”

 

Samantha smiled sweetly, her cheeks tinged red. “Oh a date night sounds lovely! We haven’t been on one in such a long time. The last one got canceled and I suppose we’ve just been so busy..” she cupped her face in her hands and giggled. “Well I won’t keep you. Get back to your work and I’ll be back soon with some snacks!” 

 

I really liked Samantha. She has this.. motherly vibe to her. Like no matter who you were or what you had done in life, she would treat you like one of her own. Just a genuinely sweet woman. You never had to worry; she wasn’t fake like Naomi. The ptero wore her emotions on her sleeves and did so proudly.

 

The work passed quickly, most spent researching the university. True to her word Samantha had dropped off a plate of Dino nuggets a bit later, which quickly got devoured. A warning text from Naser on Ripley’s imminent arrival hurried us along to completion.

 

We once again found ourselves on the doorstep of the house. Surprisingly Samantha was the biggest hurdle in getting outside this time, but after promising to eat dinner with them tomorrow she finally relented. Naser was my ride again and was currently waiting patiently in the Nas-Car.

 

Fang was much more… stable? This time around. She still tried to break my spine with her hug. But whispered I love yous and a kiss goodbye placated her puppy eyes as she rubbed her snoot into me. 

 

I felt.. lighter. I guess my future was weighing a little heavy on me without my knowing. Sure the plan was shaky and unfinished. But it was still a plan. Anon Y. Mous had an actual plan for his future. Yup I officially died at the cemetery. As I walked to the Nas-Car my steps felt stable for the first time since I came back. 

 

Everyone I knew was moving forward in their lives. Now it was my turn. One step. Then another. 

[POST-NOTES]
Whew, reaching the endgame now. Sorry for the wait. A&P something something yadda yadda.