I wake up violently, holy fuck, this had to be a nightmare. I look around, i'm in a park and some people are already walking at the park. The problem is that i feel something's missing, i don't know what excatly but i'm sure it's important. Bah, i'll look for it another time now i need to make a plan, an escape plan, i need to get out of this city. Fang saw me, Fang is here and i don't want them to know what i became. First i need to shower myself, it's been a week now and there's no better place to think about yout life than in the shower, i go to the public shower. This is the place where you simply don't go if you care for your life but mine is already far away so i just take all my shower here. Some big guys are standing here, probably a drug dealer who is making a deal or just taking a shower, but this face, wait i know this guy! 

 

"Hey Nick, how's the business going?"

 

"Anon, get outta here, i don't wanna shoot ya"

 

"Man, i just wanna take a shower, if you don't mind to just let me in this corner right here."

 

Nick sigh and let me in. After five shitty year, i made some contact with the drug lord of Skin Row, well maybe because i was one of his best customer. Still, i got some respect of him, even more when i talked about Reed, i don't know what Reed did but i thank him from wherever he is now. The shower is quite relaxing but i can't think about anything else than Fang, they didn't look like they recognized me. This fact is good but sad at the same time, maybe because i changed a lot physically? Atleast they didn't ran after my ass to kick me off, well maybe they would not be so angry to see me again. Shut up brain, after what i did, there are not reason to forget me, i deserved what happended to me. But i really don't understand why they are here, i thinked that without me they would have a best life. "Fucking dumbass, what did you thinked? You broke every possible relationships they had and then you walked away!". I hate myself, i'm the only man on this earth who argue with his own brain. I even hate myself more when i realise that i'm loosing an argument with my own brain because it's true, i completely destroyed someone's life and then i ran away, like a fucking pussy. Oh god, if Fang see me again, i don't want to know what they would do to me, well i mean, it would be better to die by their hand than die of food intoxication because i ate pure trash. My toughts are stopped when i run out of water, like a great master said : my time has come. I get out of the shower, wave at Nick who generously throw me a finger and walk out of this place. I take a moment to breath and start walking towards the place i call home.

 

"Aaaahhhh good morning Skin Row once and for all!"

 

When i get there i am welcomed by a worried Robert and the two others that don't give a shit about me. Robert come close to me and start checking on me. I never saw him like that, acting like a dad who lost his son for more than a day. 

 

"You motherfucker, what happened? You didn't went back for the night, i tought you got stabbed! 

 

I can't hold myself and laugh, his reaction is really unexpected, it feels like i knew him for decades but in reality i just knew him for 4 years, still it's a lot but i didn't prepared myself to these kind of situation.

 

"What's going on old man? You were scared that i got caught? Unfortunately, i'm still alive and free as you can see!

 

Robert slap me on my back while laughing, he is the only family i got since highschool, oh shit, highschool... Fang, fuck, i got to go, i need to go but i can't leave him like this. First i have to pack my things, where is my backpa... OH PLEASE FOR GOD SAKES. I just left my backpack at Pizza Time and RAYmba! Shit, i can't leave without him, i promised that i'll never leave him. I look at my watch, can i kill myself already? "Take your balls and go look for him!". My brain is right, i can't even try to resist.

 

"Ok, Robert, i'll need you to not make a panic attack but i will possibly not come back for the night again, will you survive?"

 

I try to make a smile, but with all my tought runnig right now i can't even move my face

 

"Just don't die already, you still owe me 10 dollars little piece of shit"

 

After all the time i spent with him, i know he said that with an amusing tone, even if i didn't really understood what he said because i was already running to the Pizza Time. Just with the tought of seeing Fang again is scaring the shit out of me, what if they recognize me this time? Fuck this sentimental question, the real question is : I HOPE NOBODY HAS STOLEN RAYMBA OR I'M GONNA SHOOT EVERYBODY IN THIS CITY. What am i gonna do if he disappear of my life like this, without letting me a chance? "Just like you did with Fang, stupid skinnie". Okay brain, i really needed this thank you! Argh, just focus Anon, focus and don't panick. I see the Pizza Time sign, the show has already started since a long time, that's good for me, they will be too focused to play the music and they will not look at me. As i enter i look directly to where i was last night, my heart crush when i see it's empty. I do my best to not look at the stage, i sneak in the little crowd and lead to the reception, if you can call it that way.

 

"Hey, i forgot my backpack last night did you know if someone got away with it? I was at this table in the back corner, right here."

 

"Euh yeah i think, come with me, the lost objects are at the backstage."

 

I follow the guy in the backstage, i don't know why the owner let strangers get into the backstage for lost objects but i don't care, i just want RAYmba back. We enter in a room, pretty big but it's more looking like a rest room for the band before and after the show, the guy point me the big pile of random objects. 

 

"You can claim anything, we don't really care"

 

This guy literally let me steal legally... But i don't want anything except RAYmba and my backpack. As i start looking for it, the guy just leave and let me alone in the room, i don't know how much he is paid but it's certainely not enough to make him actually care. I also don't think they really expect people to come back for lost object because this pile is huge and nothing is organized. After several minutes of searching i finaly found my backpack, i'm revieved but i die instantly after i realise RAYmba is not there. As my world's shattering in my eyes, i hear footsteps in the hallway, three voices coming from the open door.

 

"This was good Fang"

 

"Yeah, better than last night"

 

"Shut up, you morons"

 

Only the last voice hit me, it's them, again. I look frantically in the big pile with hope RAYmba is hiding somewhere, during my research, i realise the voices are quiet now. Someone tap me on the shoulder, i don't turn myself, by fear to be recognized. A male voice ask me with a questioning tone.

 

"Euuuh, hey dude, who are you?"