I open my eyes weakly, nope, it's still not a bad dream. I get up quickly and look around me, i'm still alive and in the same alley than last night. I kinda like this alley, it's like my home... except for the three strangers living with me. At least i'm starting to get friendly with one, Robert, a 40-year old man who lives in the streets since much longer than me.

 

"Hey young man. I think you lost something".

 

He hangs over my wallet in the air. Each of us know exactly that my wallet is emptier than a black hole. I wave my hands in the air and say with a ironic tone.

 

"Oh noo... not my big 5 dollars, what am i gonna do?"

 

He laugh and throw me my wallet, i catch it and walk toward him. Robert has been here for almost 10 years, i don't have any idea how he managed to survive but atleast he still got his mind compared to me. When i went in this alley, i tought they were gonna beat my ass up but they simply didn't gave a shit about me so i installed myself here. My only friend of my past life who stayed was RAYmba. This little guy is everything, from the memories i have to the simple company he give me, RAYmba is the only precious thing i have and nothing will ever separate us. 

 

"Hey oooh, little man, what's going on? You've been standing in front of me for a 5 minutes. Do you need money to get you something? I don't have much but it would help you to find something a little more "comestible" for you.

 

I get out of my head, i really need something better to eat today, i don't want to eat litteral garbage again. If he ask me, that means he's okay with giving me his money, right?

 

"Yeah, i would like to but are you gonna be okay for your food?"

 

"C'mon, i can find myself something, you really need to eat some good stuff"

 

He looks at me up and down, he's right, i'm fucking skinny and my physical form has never been so low. He handle me 10 dollars, i take it and walk out of the alley, he looks at me with a comforting smile and i wave back at him. The day just started and i just want to go back to sleep, even if my back hurts bad because my bed, if i can call it this way, is so uncomfortable. The shy sunshine lights come down to the city, people are already fighting in the streets.

 

"Aaaahhh, Good morning Skin Row"

 

I walk a little and stop to a park, the only park in this part of the city that actually looks good. The only place where people that seems a little normal go and relax, waiting for something interesting to happen. I sit on a bench and open my wallet, i see 15 dollars in total, what am i gonna buy with this? Cigarettes? No, i really need something to eat. Maybe a coffee and some pastries? Nope, with only 15 dollars i'll just have the coffee, exceptionally because all the cafe are outside Skin Row so it's too expensive for me. Pizza? Yes, i know a place where they sell pizza, i heard they even have a band who play music at night, i'll wait until tonight to see this. As i think about the pizza, my stomach growls making me think twice about the time i should go. Fuck it, it's almost twelve o'clock, there's no better time to eat. I put my wallet in my pocket and start looking for this pizzeria in Skin Row. After an hour of looking everywhere i could, i finally find it.

 

"Finally!"

 

I said out loud, standing in front of the Pizza Time sign. I enter and see a semi good looking place, tables and chairs, a stage for the band show and the kitchen that we can barely see movements but still, we can smell the fresh pizza. I mean, for me, this is the paradise on earth even if the pizza doesn't really looks fresh. I see a large baryonyx with an apron, as i see his little pin i see that he is the owner, he is the owner and the chef?! Bah, i don't really care, i just want a damn pizza. I order one and it's only 7$, great, i will be able to buy some cigarettes after this or some beer. I eat this pizza as if my life depended on it, oh god that was good. In 5 freaking years, i never came here and now i begin to think that i will never leave this place. I promise myself that everytime i have 7$ on me, i will go here and eat a pizza. When i finished i get up and walk toward the stage, i read the name of Strands of Silver, i nod and go to the exit. It can't hurt after all, it's been a long time since i've seen a show, it's been a long time since i heard music at all. I look at the clock... wait what?! It's already 3 PM, i tought i've been eating only for 5 minutes but i stayed here for like 2 whole hours! Goddamnit, i'm really fucking pathetic, who in the world just stand on a chair looking at nothing for 2 fucking hours!? I put my head in my palms, alright calm down it's no big deal, i mean what did you planned for today? Absolutely nothing, so where's the problem? I look at the schedule of the shows, 8 PM, alright i have 5 hours to waste.

 

For the next five hours i've been walking, i took money standing on the sidewalk and i brought beers. I come back to Pizza Time 10 minutes before the show start, i find a seat in the corner at the back. I sit myself, i also took my backpack i forgot at the alley, how lucky i am, no one stole it. I look inside to see Mr.RAYmba inside, i take it out and put it on the table. I don't really care if people judge me, i just want to have a chat with him. Like the fucking psycho i am, i start talking with him, i know he's not gonna answer but it feels good to be listened. I don't speak too loud but people are talking so i don't need to whisper. During my little therapy session with RAYmba, i didn't saw that the band was already on stage. As the music start i look up... the next seconds feel very slow, like the time stopped. This face, these wings, this snoot, i know who it is. It's them... Holy fuck, nonononono, this can't be real, please Raptor Jesus, it is just a bad dream, i slap myself in the face, nope it's not. Please Raptor Jesus, get me out of here, wait no, FUCK YOU Raptor Jesus, i know it's one of your little trick, i'm not playing this game. I look at them, gosh they really look dead inside, tatoos on their arms, wings completely scratched, no more colorful makeup and dead eyes. My god Fang, what happened to you... 

 

As i start panicking, they look at me. "FUCKING RUN FOR YOUR LIFE DIPSHIT" My brain screamed to me. As fast i ever could, i get up and start running to the exit, i fall on a chair and the music stop, everyone look at me, Fang too. Oh my god, why i always have to trip on something every fucking time?! I get up and run towards the exit, tears running already on my cheeks.

 

"FUCK YOU RAPTOR JESUS!" 

 

I screamed while running in the streets. I don't care where i go, i just... i just want to go as far i can go. I stop at a random park, i drop on the grass next to a tree, i cry like a baby. I would like someone to come and ask me what's going on, i would like any familiar face to speak to me and take me to a place where i could evacuate my emotions and after that they would comfort me and everything would end up good. But i'm not in a fucking movie or worst, a fanfiction, there's no one here, i'm all alone. After few minutes of recovering old memories, i fall asleep, tired and exhausted of all these emotions at once in such a short time.