Title: White Wings, Amber Eyes Status: Complete Characters: Rating: SFW Classification: One-Shot Author: Skogsaron Summary: Anon wakes up alone in a bed for two, setting the scene for this eerie Spooktober tale. I wake up without my alarm to an empty apartment. The initial shock sends a massive adrenaline spike coursing through me; I'm late. All the words she said yesterday in combination with someone having pulled out my alarm clock didn't add up. There's a missing piece, something has gone terribly wrong. Only a lone feather laying on the pillow next to me indicates that she was ever here - everything else is gone. There's a sinking feeling in my gut as I throw my clothes on and rush off to school, something tells me that I'll be needed there soon. The bus seems to be running late, so I just keep sprinting. My feet carry me away, the impact on the pavement sending shockwaves through my shitty shoes and up through my legs. I couldn't stop even if I had wanted to. I run all the way to school, my lungs burn and my legs almost give out under me - but I make it. When I round the last corner I see that a large crowd has gathered right outside the school grounds. I know that I won't find Fang in the crowd; she's going to be inside the school. She's got to be. If I had woken up half an hour earlier or slept light enough to wake up when she left, then this might not have happened. Things could have been different, things wouldn't have gone this far. We could still be relaxing at my place after a long talk as we reconcile. If I had intervened earlier, if I had done better, if I had done things differently; if I had been a better man, then things wouldn’t have gone this far. But I have been running from my responsibilities and my responsibilities have finally caught up to me. I hear the first gunshot as I'm pushing through the crowd, the entire mass of people screaming and yelling in unison as Spears holds them back. "LET ME THROUGH, I KNOW HER!", I yell at the top of my lungs. Spears looks at me with contempt, before parting the crowd so that I can run through. Hateful screams surround me as I push past the horrified faces of the crowd, forcing my way toward the stairs. Then more shots ring out. Every single one sends a wave of panic crashing into the crowd as they call out names of students still stuck inside. This is all my fault. I could have prevented this. I can barely breathe, there's no oxygen left in my blood; I'm pushing through on pure willpower. Yet, nothing can prepare me for what I see as I walk through the doors. The grotesque sight of multiple mangled bodies on the floor almost makes me heave, the smell of rust and gunpowder hangs heavy in the air. I can hear them scream in pain, writhing on the floor. Naser is calling out Naomi's name as he drags himself across the floor toward her, but she's not moving. I barf when I see the grimy mess splattered on the wall behind her, throwing up across the floor as I keel over, coming face to face with another student laying still in a small puddle of their own blood. I hear Naser cry out as he must have finally reached Naomi and when I steady myself enough to stand I can see him trying to hold her together; cradling her in his arms and bawling like a child as he rocks back and forth while waiting for her to wake back up. There's a special kind of scream reserved for when a man who's lost everything cries; an echoing screeching vibrato that chills the very soul. He looks up, his eyes catching mine. There’s no hatred, anger, or blame in his gaze. We both know that we’ve played our parts in this. Another gunshot echoes out from a floor up. I can't stop here, I might still be able to save someone. I need to save someone. I sprint down the hallway, hearing distant shouting as more gunshots ring out. Flying up the stairs I accidentally kick some of the casings laying on the marble steps that start to roll down the stairs with gentle chime-like sounds. I find myself face to face with another blood-soaked corridor - but I can't stop here, a painful truth burns through my skull like a white-hot flare: she's heading up to the roof. At this point, I tune out the screams and pleas of the students laying on the floor as I run past. I know the way to the roof; we've been up there many times. Maybe this will be the last time we head up there together. This will be our grand finale. I don't know what I'm hoping to find up there. Maybe someone else will be standing there, maybe it won't be her. Maybe there's a chance that I've been wrong and that she's safe and sound back home. Please, God. Anyone. Please, anyone that's listening, don't let it be her. I pray for salvation, hoping that I'm wrong and that there's still someone left to save. I throw open the metal door to the roof, sending it crashing against the concrete with a loud bang. She's silent, I can't even tell if she's looking at me or not, but it's her. The revolver hangs limply from her fingers, the splatter of blood on her pants, her wings with multiple bald patches on them, and the sound of her ragged breaths - it's a macabre sight. I slowly walk toward her, my heart pounding so loud that I can barely hear the panicked screams from the crowd gathered down below. Step by step, inch by inch, I'm afraid that if I move too quickly I'll startle her. Once I'm just an arm's length away, I reach out my arm and let my fingers brush against her shoulder. Another loud bang echoes out, then white hot pain sears through my leg. My left leg crumples under me and as I fall I see Fang's beautiful amber eyes. They're red and puffy, with makeup-less tears running freely down her cheeks. "A-Anon... WHY ARE YOU-!", she yells out, "Y-you weren't supposed to be here! You shouldn't have come here!" "Fuck... It's because... because I love you." I struggle to balance on my left leg, the hole in my shin dribbles blood down on the floor. I don't care though. I hobble forward, but Fang steps back. "S-stay back!", she shouts and throws her arms out, throwing away the revolver that clatters against the concrete. I take another painful step forward. She takes another back. "Anon!", she shouts out. "Just come downstairs with me... It's not over, it doesn't have to be this wa-", with a crunch, my shin gives out completely, lurching me forward onto my hands and knees. But I have to keep going, even if it's on my knees. I can feel myself slowing, my thoughts growing cloudy as the blood loss starts to get to me. Yet, the intense pain brings some clarity to my mind - enough so that I can drag myself forward. "Please, come down with me.", I plead to her. "Oh-oh god. S-stop." The sharp bone pokes and tears through my leg muscle. I briefly look behind me, the trail is spilling out and making my other leg wet. Bile rises up my throat at the sight, but I just swallow hard and look back to fang. I have to reach her, I can still fix this. I can still save her. Fang keeps backing away as I try to get closer, remaining out of my reach. Fang stops and catches her balance, with her foot halfway over the edge. We've reached the edge of the rooftop. This is the end of the line. "Fang, look at me.", I once more plead. Her head shakily turns from the concrete below to meet my eyes again. "Back away from there, please.", I beg as my voice starts to give in. "I-I... I..." "It's not over. Stay here with me, please." "I..." "Don't leave me alone." We stare for an eternity, all through the police's screaming below. Fang looks below once more, down the three-story drop to the walkway below. The walkway we'd passed through so many times to get to classes without a second thought. The walkway we crossed daily with our friends through all our trials. "Please...", I can barely speak at this point but I know that she won't listen anyhow. She looks at me again, less shakily this time. The sides of her mouth curl into a warm smile and the last of her tears fall. "FANG!", I scream at the top of my lungs. Then, she jumps. I hear her wings flapping in the wind and the shouting of the crowd below. Time slows to a crawl. If I don't look over the edge, maybe it won't be her. Maybe she'd still be at home. I can't look over the edge, I don't want to see it. The meaty crunch reminds me of the same noise I'd hear when dad used to butcher game back home. But it can't be her, she's still back home at my place, getting some rest after our argument last night. Yeah, this is all a dream and I'll wake up soon. Somehow, this all feels familiar; I feel like I've been here before. This must just be a dream, of course. Then everything fades to black as I rest my weary head upon the reddened wet and sticky concrete. I sleep a dreamless sleep, recouping from the late night we spent together yesterday. Today, I'll just sleep in, I don't need to go to school. Then I feel my throat closing, my sheets wrapping around me like a python squeezing the life out of me - the dream comes back, I see her standing there at the edge of the roof. "FAAAAANG, PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS!", I yell at the top of my lungs as my leg gives in under me and I can feel my pant leg grow hot and sticky from the blood pouring out of my gunshot wound. She's standing over by the torn open fencing, eyes drenched with fear as she stares at me. She didn't intend to shoot me, she never intended to harm me. All she wanted was for me to be safe. Even after everything I've done, she still loves me. But I don't deserve love, not after what I've done. I failed her. A faint heartbeat; a steady pulse breaks through the void I'm floating around in. I still see her, with a faint glow outlining her against the pitch-black nothingness we're both floating in. She's ragged and blurry - I can't really seem to find any point of her to focus on, but I know that it's her. I'd recognize that woman anywhere. Somehow I know that we died that day; there's no way for anyone to come back from what we did. But here we are. Over and over again I go through the same dream, living through the same path of being just a few minutes too late. I wake up, the steady beeping of the heartbeat monitor next to me shaking me out of my sleep. My sheets are drenched in sweat and my body feels incredibly heavy. How long had I been unconscious? I'm in the hospital, wearing a hospital gown. There's a grey cast on my left leg. It's dark and my room's only illuminated with a small strip of led lights discretely hidden underneath the metal panels covering the walls. I need to get the fuck away from here, I need to find Fang. I know that she's here somewhere. My body's exhausted, but somehow I sit up. Reaching for the vital signs monitor, I start to navigate through the menus to turn it off. With a light beep, it shuts down without sounding any alarms. All my computer knowledge was useful for something, after all. I start to pull off the mixed pads and needles stuck on and in me, leaving red marks of irritated skin from the adhesive. Crawling out of bed, I start to huddle off. It's dark outside and it smells like cleaning agents, but I feel a calling; there's something in my gut guiding me. I slip past the night shift nurses, crawling down the hallway one shady doorway at a time. Her door is guarded by a police officer sitting outside on a chair, reading a newspaper. The front page is plastered with news about 'Volcano High', but I don't want to look too closely at it. Unstoppable force, meet immovable object. I need to get in there but I'm fucked as far as options go. So I close my hands and pray; pleading to any and all gods that could aid me. I need to see her. There's an invisible string tying us together; the cord pulling me toward her. There's nowhere else for me to go now, not after what I’ve done. Then the guard gets up, heading for the coffee machine on the opposite side of the hallway - giving me the perfect opportunity to sneak in. I'm terrified that he'll turn around and notice me, and I'm terrified that he won't. I don't know what it is that I'm going to find inside that door but I'm frozen stiff from the fear of opening it and finding out what's left of her. The doorknob is the only thing standing between me and the truth, the tangible reality of our future. Inside lay the single person still tethering me to this world. I have only her left and I might not even have that. I've fucked up every other relationship I have, there are no friends I can turn to and I have no family to call. The coffee machine whirrs and breaks me out of my stupor, so I turn the handle and slip in, silently closing the door behind me just as the footsteps come stepping back toward the chair. The choice has been taken for me, I'm staying in here now. It's pitch black in here, the curtains block out the moonlight and the metal panels with hidden led lights aren't present in here - it's an older room, and it smells like one. A faint glow and light beeping radiate from the small indicator lights on the vital signs monitor. It sounds... wrong, somehow. There's an irregularity in the heartbeat, the wheezing breath coming from the bed can't be her. There's no way that this is what she's been reduced to. My angel couldn't fall from heaven. A wet, rasping wheeze gurgles out from whatever it is that's left on the bed - amplified by the sounds of a breathing aid. I don't want to look at her; at it. Whatever it is that's stuck in that bed isn't her, it can't be. She's perfect and unbreakable, a strong-willed woman with a burning passion guiding her through life. Something stirs in the bed, the sheets rustle as she moves about. There's something wrong with the way that she contorts herself. Did I enter the wrong room? The writhing mass of limbs in the bed halfway sits up and squawks out in pain. It tears my heart in half, I don't want to - but I still do, recognize that voice. I remember the angelic tones that she once took; the beautiful lyrics she wove together when we sat on her bed together. But that was a lifetime ago, things weren't the same. Things would never be the same. She squawks again, wriggling to and fro under her restrictions trying desperately to free herself. It hurts her, she's not used to moving yet; her own body feeling alien to her for the first time in decades. "Fang, it's... it's me. It's going to be alright now. I love you so much, baby.", I whisper in an effort to console her. In the very dim light from the monitor, I can see the dark outlines of the bed, so I huddle over to her left side to try and... and... I don't know what I can do. It hurts so bad, everything's gone to hell and I can't take it back, it's my fault and I can't fix what's happened and I can't fix her. She's irreparably broken and I'm the one that did it. Time's oozing out of the flesh wounds I've carved into her, years were pouring out of them; leaving a husk where the person I'd imagined spending the rest of my life with once was. We've been running out of time ever since we met, and maybe if I'd stayed out of her way, things wouldn't have turned out this way. She'd still be alive and well if I hadn't ruined her with my poison. She wheezes, the machine beeping in tune with her slow heartbeat. I reach out a hand, grabbing hers; it's trembling but I hold on to it and stroke the back of her soft hand gently. I can feel her faint pulse echoing through her hand, there's not much left of her but she's alive. We still have hope, the hourglass still has some sand left - we could still spend life together. At least that's what I tell myself; I know that she'll never get out of jail - even with her dad's massive pull she'd be locked up for a very long time. Could I keep loving her as nothing but a visitor on the other side of a cold, steel table? Could she love me? Tears are streaming down my face, I can't fix this. I can't change this. I'm powerless and it's all because I didn't act sooner. My fucking indifference has ruined Fang beyond repair, I could have changed things if I hadn't been such a fucking coward. Fang's calmed down, if just for a bit. I don't know when I started, but I've been humming our song for a while now. My attempt at calming her has made her relax for a bit, her breathing is more regular and she isn't fighting her restraints any longer. "I love you, baby, we'll fix this.", I promise her, knowing that it's a promise I can't keep. She tries to say something back, but it's warbled by the oxygen mask covering her face so I can't make it out. I can hear something creaking, like the walls of a house bending under the tempestuous wind mauling it in the middle of a storm. I can feel the spraining in my bones of the support beams bending in unnatural ways. My world is changing. This isn't how things were supposed to go, we used to be happy. The world was ours, we'd leave all these losers behind. This isn't how it was supposed to end. I won't accept this, the future we were building shouldn't have collapsed like this. We can't stop here; we won't stop here. I need her, I want her, she needs me, and she wants me. we were supposed to live forever. The windows start to crack. The house we built isn't supposed to break apart like this, we had so much time left. We had everything and every chance to set things right, we don't need them. We'd leave the dregs of the earth behind and create a paradise of our own. So why, Fang, why did you leave me alone in our garden for two? Why did you burn our paradise? Why did you abandon me? I can't do this without you. Without you, I'm nothing. Closing my eyes, I can feel her clutching my hand. The trembling of her arm is lifetimes away from the strong woman I'd gotten to know these past few months. Is this who she was under the surface all along? A weak and scared young girl fighting back against the world. She wanted me to live on, even in her final moments she wanted me to live; her love for me was greater than anything else in the world; I’m the one thing she still believes in. There's no way I'll fail her now, I have to be her lighthouse in the dark; the one thing standing between her and the scum waiting outside. I'm never leaving your side again, Fang. You are the only thing I love about myself. So I lean over to kiss her hand as I tell her sweet nothings and rest my cheek against her arm. Then I move up toward her head, my eyes have adjusted to the dark now so I can see her silhouette now. Her face is... wrong. The shape is off. I move in and kiss her forehead, feeling the bandages wrapped all around her head, as salty tears run down her face - faint sobbing coming from inside her oxygen mask. I raise my other arm to stroke her hair, feeling how raucous her face had become - her tattered strands of hair haphazardly spread out all over her head and face like the torn hair of a discarded doll. "I'll always love you, Fang.", I say as I once again kiss her temple, "I'm going to be here by your side." She keeps crying, bawling with a broken voice as she shakes and shudders under my touch. There's nothing I wouldn't give for you, Fang, especially not after all we've been through. They all deserved what they got for tearing our world apart, they deserved it for ruining our lives. I wipe away her tears with the sleeve of my hospital gown, carefully so as to not disturb the bandages wrapped around her face. "I want to see you, see the real you once more.", I tell her as I rest my forehead against hers, "I want to see your beautiful face." She seems to protest, lightly shaking her head as she lets out a soft whimpering, but I keep insisting. I promise her my everything, I offer her my all; I swear that I won't leave her - no matter what. We sit like this for what feels like hours before she gently nods as her stream of tears ebbs out, so I calmly rise and walk over to the curtains - facing the window as I throw them open. The moon is out tonight, the watchful eye in the sky shining brightly on all of us sinners. I know what awaits me in the bed behind me, but I still choose to turn around. There she lays, wrapped up in bandages. The rugged remains of what once was a beautiful woman, her right leg is a foot shorter, and her left leg's covered completely in plaster and adjusted with multiple metal braces and screws. Her right arm ends in a stump just above the elbow, but her left arm was intact and untouched; the one untouched and unbroken part that's left of her. Her face is a tattered mess of flayed skin showing through tear-stained bandages that are starting to slip off, her snoot having lost about half its length. Then there were her wings... their tattered remains were splayed out on the bed behind her. A few scruffy feathers still clinging on to the mangled ends were all that remained of them - her angelic visage torn away from her. It's as if she'd regretted everything midflight, trying desperately to flap the wings that never could have carried her - sending her spiraling out of control as she hit the ground; her limbs twisting into impossible angles as the crowd swarmed in over her, and tore her to pieces. Everyone regrets jumping when they feel the fall. Then I blink and the room turns black once more. The walls are grimy, filthy black cloth stained by years of smoking and decades of greasy stains. The floor is covered in garbage and all the medical equipment is rusty and decrepit. A faint whirring as if from distant machinery echoes through the room. In the corner stands a statuesque figure covered completely in white silks, looking over at us. In a soft bed and on white sheets, lies the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Her angelic wings folded behind her like sheets of satin wrapped around her heavenly body. I run up to hug her, and she throws up her arms - catching me in her warm embrace. I shut my eyes as I get as close to her as I can. "I've missed you, dweeb.", she whispers as she nuzzles her snoot against my neck. I hug her tight, clutching her so hard against my chest that I can just barely breathe. There's still hope for us, we still have each other. She's still here. I crawl up in the bed next to her, feeling her warm body next to me. I feel her heartbeat resonating through her chest as we kiss, turning a gentle hug into a tight embrace as we wrap our bodies around each other. I hear shuffling from the corner so I raise my head to look, but the figure is gone. A darkened impression on the dirty wall is all that remains of it. Then Fang's wings fold in over us, enveloping us in their soft white down. We have been given a second chance and I'm not one to squander it. We lay there for the entire night, barricaded away from the world by her wings. I must have fallen asleep, for when the day breaks, the sun carefully peeks in through the web of feathers enveloping us and gently wakes me up. I've got a pounding headache and my body feels stiff from having slept in an awkward position cradling her, but it's nothing too bad. We'll face today together, at least. "I'm so glad that you're okay, I thought I'd lost you.", I whisper, unsure of whether or not she's still asleep. "Mmm... I'm glad that I'm here, too. I wouldn't want to miss this for anything in the world.", she mumbles as she yawns and starts to stretch. "But what do we do now?", I ask with slight hesitation. "What do we do now, what?" "I mean, you... everything... Naser and N-" "What are you talking about, dork?", she interrupts me and then plants a kiss on my lips. When she unfurls her wings, we're laying on the bed in my room. It's dirty and cluttered, covered in dust and grime - just like I left it. The smell of my cheap deodorant and shitty cooking hangs in the air, but there's also something more... there's a smell of blood, emanating from bloodied bandages piled up in the garbage can just at the head of the bed. "Hey, dweeb, how about you get yourself a nice shower and I get started on cooking some breakfast?", she traces circles on my chest with her index finger as she smiles at me. Her warm, amber eyes looking into mine make me calm down. It helps me focus on the here and now; on the beautiful woman I'm waking up next to. "That sounds great. I'm feeling exhausted, my head's pounding and I've had the worst nightmare." "Tell me about it over some pancakes later. But now - shower, stinky!" We laugh it off, untangling ourselves from each other as I walk off, buck naked, to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I look in the mirror to see my wide smile and very tired eyes staring back at me. I woke up naked next to her. We were sleeping - naked. Next to each other. HOLY SHIT. I slept naked next to a girl, I guess I must still be dazed from the nightmare, seeing how completely unfazed I had been at first; it almost feels normal to wake up by her side. It feels normal to wake up by her side. Why does it feel normal to wake up to this? "Fang, honey?", I shout through the door. "Yes?", she responds, her voice muffled. What could I even say to her, what could I ask? I just feel odd, that's all. A nice warm shower and I'll feel better. Stepping into the shower cabin, I turn on the hot water and let it wash my troubles away. It's soothing and I can feel my entire body relaxing. My left knee hurts, I must have really fucked it up in my sleep. This is my new normal, this is our life. I just haven't adjusted to it yet. Once I'm done, I head out with a towel around my waist. Fang's in her nightgown, cooking up some pancakes in one skillet while scrambling eggs in another. "I'm done in the shower, I can take over cooking if you want to have one too.", I say as I walk up and hug her from behind. "Aah, let go! You're still wet!", she squirms and giggles yet can't seem to escape. "Good morning kiss, babe." "Noooooo...", her plea for freedom slowly fading out as she turns her neck and gives me a peck on the lips. A shiver runs up my spine, it feels good but something is... off. Is this how it's always been? It feels like time is running by so quickly, I can barely remember getting into the shower before I came out. I just want to finish breakfast so we can talk things through. I take over the cooking, frying up some more pancakes as Fang heads into my tiny bathroom and I can hear the pipes bang out their regular drum solo when she turns on the water. This is my normal, this is everything that I have ever wanted. To wake up by her side and to share our lives, living together and making it through life as a couple. I finish cooking breakfast, set the table, and just as I’m about to put away the dishes, Fang comes out of the bathroom with her hair wrapped in a towel. We chat as we put on some leisure clothes; she's got a drawer where she’s stuffed some spare clothes. Then we're at the table. We've each got a stack of pancakes with syrup and a dab of butter, next to some scrambled eggs and strips of bacon. I bought some orange juice yesterday for us to share, and stocked up on some nuggets in the freezer. Wait, since when did I have a table? We're sitting on the bed, each with a plate in our lap, eating as we chat about life and what we want to do after high school. She still wants to go for something related to music, whether it be finding a new band or becoming a music teacher. I'm not sure about what I want to do, but if she's pursuing teaching then I could do the same and try to become a science teacher. We could get jobs at the same school, working in parallel with each other and spending time together on our lunch breaks. We've already sent in some application papers, thankfully. Things were moving so swiftly, it feels like everything is falling into place - our future together seems bright. I look over to our kitchen table, seeing the responses to our application letters resting upon a stack of old newspapers and bills. "Fang, do you ever feel like there's something wrong?", I query. "No, not at all! I'm happy with you, these last few months have been the best months of my life." "But what about our fight yesterday?" "All couples fight, what matters is that we know how to make up; how to mend things and move on." "When... when did we mend things, I can't remember?" "We had a long talk, didn't we?" "Did we?" "Of course we did! I promise you, Anon." I don't think any more of it, instead, we spend the day relaxing as we go through our letters and start to look at apartments close to our college. We find a nice three-room place with decent rent just a few minutes away from campus, so we send an e-mail asking if it’s still available. A new day dawns, yesterday went by quickly and our night together was a really nice way to round it off, so I go to hit the shower while Fang still sleeps. Once more I enter the bathroom naked, looking at my wide smile and tired eyes in the mirror, but my eyes drift downwards to something I didn't expect to see. There are traces of multiple gunshot wounds to my left knee, scar tissue covering most of the surface area; multiple holes in my torso smattering out across my chest. I feel panic well up inside of me, but when I blink they're gone. Shit, I must not have gotten enough rest. I'm probably still half asleep. There's a little something to be paid for each time, a cost. One pays with time, and with flesh. A sacrifice must be made - nothing can be bought without a price paid. You can't undo the past, you can't reforge the future. I wake up to an empty bed with sunlight streaming in through my blinds, the warmth of a shared cot still lingers, but all traces of her are gone - save for one white feather still resting on her pillow. My gut feeling tells me that something is wrong, so I rush off to school. Fang stops me just as I'm about to head out through the door. "We don't need to be anywhere today, it's a holiday.", she reminds me. "A holiday? Isn't today a regular school day?" "Of course not, silly! We're off today, so just relax and we'll enjoy our time together. Don't you remember?" I guess I must have misremembered, I'm just stressed out. So much has been going on lately. I can't believe it's almost been a week since we were at the hospital. Was it a week? It feels like it's been longer. I can't even remember why we were there in the first place. I can see Fang's smile start to wither as a spreading sense of dread worms its way into my mind. "Fang, why were we at the hospital?" "You're not supposed to remember that." "Fang, tell me. Wait, I’m not supposed to?" "If I tell you, you'll leave me again." "Again?" There's a lump in my throat and my heart's getting heavy. Again? Had this happened before? Lingering memories and lost thoughts swirl in my head. I wake up to an empty bed with sunlight streaming in through my blinds, the warmth of a shared cot still lingers, and I can hear her singing in the bathroom as she's taking a shower. I get up, stretching and yawning, before putting on a pair of pajama pants and starting to cook breakfast for us. There are nuggets in the freezer. When Fang gets out of the shower with her hair wrapped in a towel, I've already finished breakfast and set the table. "Thank you, babe. You're the best.", she says as she walks over and gives me a smooch. We sit on my bed, eating as we talk about college and our dreams of becoming teachers. Then I remember what it is that I forgot, so I wake up in bed with Fang. "Is this real, Fang?", I ask her. "Does it matter? You're happy, are you not?" "I want to be with you. Forever." "Then we can be together forever." "So is this real?" "Does it feel real?" "More real than anything I've felt before. But you're not her, are you?" "Does it matter?", she responds, confirming my suspicions. "I want to be with her." "This... this is me, babe. I'm your beloved." "No, you're not. You're just an imitation. A figment of my imagination." "I'm not a figment of your imitation, I'm very much real. I've taken care of you for such a long time - you've spent more time with me than with her." "We've only been here in my apartment for a few days, at most." She quiets down, breathing heavily. She hesitates, looking at me with great sorrow in her eyes; it's as if she's carrying a massive burden on her shoulders. The horrors of this world suddenly unraveled and were laid bare for us to partake in - I know that Fang's dead, she never made it off the roof. "Anon, please...", she once more pleads. "It's only been a day. Let me see her; I need to see her. Let me see what's really happened to her." "Please, dear..." "I need to know." "Stay here with me, my sweeting. Don't go, you'll only be hurt more. You've been here so many times before, it never ends up well.", she reaches up toward my head with a hand, "But I'll show you if you need me to." "Show me what?" She smiles at me with tears in her eye. We both know what she'll show me and yet I accept. Fang's fallen, she's blown her brains out, she's gotten stopped by cops and got shot to death, she's been hit by cars on her way there - her fate is set in stone for that day. Fang always dies young. I've been with her for all of those times, becoming a bit more sanded down each time, another pound of flesh paid and another piece of my soul turned to dust. I've already forgotten everything I knew before I came here to Volcadera. Soon, there will be nothing left for me to forget. "Stay with me, this one time.", she once more begs, "Don't go. I need you." "If there's a chance to do this right, I must take it." "She's never going to make it. You've never managed to even come close." "I don't care, this life isn't real. You aren't real. This food, this room, this life - it's all fake." "No, my love. It's all very real." "Then show me! Show me what's under the facade, reveal to me who you really are.” "I am who you needed me to be. I come to all those who need me." "I never asked for anything." "You did; you prayed.", she hesitates, "And I answered." I remember that time on the roof, that time in the hospital, the times I clutched desperately to my faint bit of hope in my nightmares of that day. I've prayed for salvation many times and asked for anyone that could help me to help me. But not like this, never like this. "What are you saying Anon, are you pushing me away? Your beloved Lucy?", she asks as she tries to cuddle up to me. "You're not her, I... I don't know who you are, or what you are." "I'm not letting you leave this time; I know that you come back. You always do." The walls crumble up and fade away; the plaster turns into a soggy mess and dribbles down the walls. Rust creeps onto my desk and down my stainless steel kitchenware. I push her away, screaming at her to stay back, but no words exit my throat. "I am yours, Anon.", she keeps coming closer, "For as long as you want me to be." She takes the last step forward, wrapping me in her soggy mangled, and meaty wings as she drags me toward her. Her torn eyes stare straight into my soul. Then she once again returns to her form of a young woman with pale skin, white hair, and amber eyes. "I love you.", she whispers, before kissing me.