Title: Three punch men Status: Complete Characters: Anon, Inco, Saitama Rating: SFW Classification: One-Shot Author: Anonymous Summary: Anon, Inco and Saitama are all related and have a meetup. Three punch men A young man sits alone on a park bench, the old beat up wooden planks are supported by two rusted iron bars on each side, some of the wood has rotten near the edge but the old bolts still hold everything together. Colourful lettering and other symbols adorn the backrest, there’s even a few dicks and a few swastikas carved into the wood, classy. The young guy is looking at his phone; he can’t be more than twenty years old, looking at his shining bald head one could think he was older. He is wearing grey jeans and a fashionable blue jacket with his sleeves rolled up, it’s quite hot today; even with his sleeves up he must be sweating. He is also wearing a nice pair of sunglasses and another pair can be seen poking out of his pocket, he has one hand on a black leather strap that crosses his chest from his shoulder to his hip, at the end a fancy looking DSLR camera is resting on the bench. -Inco? – a voice calls him out – hey man! Good to see you- Someone was standing besides Inco, it wouldn’t have been too difficult to sneak by him, he was so distracted with his phone that one could have taken his sunglasses off him and he wouldn’t have noticed. -Anon! - Inco replied, he jumped up to meet his cousin –oh dude, is that you! - Anon raised his hand and they greeted each other with a handshake. Both men looked strikingly similar; bald shining heads, and blank expressions. Anon wasn’t wearing any glasses, he wore blue jeans and a jacket, a less stylish green one, with his sleeves down all the way… -I didn’t expect to find you here this early- Anon said as he sat down on the same bench – we were supposed to meet here in…- he checked his phone – 30 minutes! - - Ha! What about you then? - Inco retorted – you always arrive this early? - -You could say so- Anon replied while looking at the row of trees in front of them A few minutes of silence ensued as both cousins sat on the bench. They hadn’t seen each other in a long time, since the end of elementary school, and now they were living in the same city. In fact, they had been living in Volcaldera for almost a year now and they found out about each other last week when their mothers got in touch over the phone and spoke about their kids studying on the big city. Inco had moved in with his parents but Anon was there on his own, renting a small apartment. -You think he is going to be late? - Inco finally broke the silence -Huh? - Anon was taken out of it by the question – yeah…– Anon muttered under his breath -err I mean no; I don’t think he will keep us waiting – finally he answered while looking at the distant mountains. -Maybe we just came too early- Inco sighed – Now we have to wait twenty more minutes AND a bit more since he is going to be late- he looked bored. Anon started mumbling to himself quietly –fuck, what do I even say now, twenty fucking minutes…- Anon didn’t notice but Inco had heard him. -You still do that thing, Anon- Inco said, smirking a bit. Amon’s eyes widened, he looked at Inco with a surprised expression, Inco smiled and spoke again – You have not changed at all HA! - Inco laughed while slapping Anon’s shoulder. -Yeah- Anon breathed out and paused -he is my cousin after all- he thought. No need to hold back now. – You know, I’ve been caught speaking to myself by my classmates before- Anon smiled and looked at Inco –Fuckers didn’t tell me for a while so I didn’t even know they could hear me- Anon closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose, he smiled and chuckled lightly -Oh yeah! - Inco exclaimed -My mom told me about your semester at Volcano High- He paused briefly and looked at Anon – You uh, had a good time? - -How did she? - Anon asked before being cut off by Inco –Your mom told her- Anon nodded and smiled again. Anon and Inco began talking about their experiences in their respective schools; all the new friends, all the quirks and all the special moments they each experienced. The conversation went on for another half an hour, neither of them stopped to look at the time. -That time someone wrote Fuck Trig- Anon was telling Inco another story when he got interrupted – Jesus Anon! Don’t scream that out loud! - they both turned their heads towards the voice –I could hear you two from a mile away- another bald man approached, he was calm and had a grin on his face – you will get shanked if you keep this up- he emanated a cooler atmosphere around him, like he didn’t care. He walked slowly with his hands inside his pockets. Unlike the other two the third man was wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants, something more appropriate for the climate. Anon’s expression changed from horror, to shock to relief in less than three seconds, Inco on the other hand was already getting up from the park bench -About time you showed up! - Inco exclaimed. -I’m on time- the man answered nonchalantly, he didn’t even bother to look at the electronic watch on his wrist -You’re ten minutes late- Inco stretched his arm showing the man his phone. -Nice wallpaper- the man answered with a straight face –You draw that yourself? - he seemed genuinely interested on the drawing of a plump alligator(?) girl adorning Inco’s lock screen -I… Uhhhhh…- Inco immediately buried his phone between his hands and went back to the bench while the man snickered. Anon was already standing up and shaking the third man’s hand. -Good uh- Anon struggled – Good evening Saitama- Anon muttered while shaking Saitama’s hand, he could see his hand struggling under the pressure of the handshake, he looked up at Saitama’s face and smiled; Anon’s hand was already numb from strong handshakes. Saitama nodded and they both let go. Anon and Saitama were standing up while Inco was sitting on the old bench, he looked better now but his cheeks still had a lingering red colour around them. Finally, he stood up and slapped his two cousins’ backs -Are we going to stay here at the park all day or what? - Inco exclaimed full of energy. -I know a place we can all go and have a few drinks- Anon and Saitama could have been poker players right then, their faces blank and devoid of expression, they were just missing Inco’s shades. Inco nodded and put his arms around their necks, then started walking without asking for any further comments. As they walked through the streets of lower downtown the three cousins talked with each other, the only one who didn’t live on the city was Saitama, he explained that he had a small flat on another city near Volcaldera, a three-hour drive from there, but it only took forty or so minutes on train. Anon’s mom had called him last week and talked about the two other cousins meeting up, she knew Saitama lived near the city so decided to invite him too, everyone seemed ok with it; a week later, there they were, rolling down central avenue on a hot summer’s evening, the wide street was peppered with trees everywhere, these had beautiful white flowers blooming around their leaves, great green vines hung from buildings and trees alike and, after a controversial council decision, the whole street was closed for motor traffic on the weekends. Birds sang while refreshing themselves on the many fountains lined on the street, and the colourful flowerbeds sparked under the afternoon sun. The three made their way to a small plaza connected to the big avenue by a small side street. -Great place to snap a few pictures- Inco explained – the lighting is always great at this time of day see there, near the fountain…- Inco continued rambling about exposure and lenses, while ranting he brushed his camera, a small lightbulb lit up above his head (or maybe it was just glare from the sun). -I know! - his words were soaked in excitement – I could snap a few pictures of us right here! - Anon and Saitama looked at each other. Saitama didn’t care much for pictures, but a free “photo op” done by his cousin didn’t sound half bad; Anon on the other hand seemed hesitant, he didn’t like taking pictures and after that incident at the auditorium he didn’t want to pose around with his cousin. -I don’t know- Anon answer while holding his shoulders up, he stopped to think for a moment –I uh, I’m not dressed for the occasion, heh…- a poor excuse, Saitama looked at Anon and then at the decorated iron fountain behind him. -C’mon Anon! - Inco had already taken the cover off the lens and was fidgeting with the buttons on the back of the camera –Free of charge! - Anon shrugged, he was about to make another excuse when his hand grazed the phone stowed away on his right pocket, he felt the rectangle shape of the phone protruding from the side of his leg and stood still for a second, he remembered his phone’s gallery, filled with pictures of all kinds; old homework, cats… and a lot of pictures with friends, friends he had made that year, he wanted to take the phone and scroll through the photos but then… -If you don’t want to its ok Anon- Saitama’s voice rang through Anon’s ears. He looked back at Saitama standing by the fountain, then gazed at Inco who was still clicking and tapping the camera. Anon smiled and spoke again –Ok alright, but you better only picture my good side! - Anon laughed and puffed his lips while picking his chin up and giving a side profile to Inco. Inco raised an eyebrow and stared at Anon briefly – I didn’t know you had one of those cousin! - he exclaimed. Anon stared back at him, he narrowed his eyes before bursting out laughing. -Good! I need you two in front of that fountain… little bit more to the left…- Inco continued to boss Anon and Saitama around while taking countless pictures of the two, making faces, poses and moving about the plaza Anon and Saitama had to follow Inco’s orders diligently. After a few minutes of kneeling and sitting and posing around for Inco Saitama spoke up. -So, how much longer do we have to do this for? - Saitama turned to Anon –I think he wants to blind us with that camera- he winked. -Yeah cousin! - Anon exclaimed – when are WE going to take YOUR picture- he chuckled while poking Saitama in the arm. Inco stood up and lowered the camera, he was so invested in taking the perfect shot that he didn’t realise he hadn’t taken any photos with his cousins. Saitama approached him –Hey, we can take turns, I’ll take a few pictures of Anon and you and he can do the same for me- Inco nodded before handing his cousin the camera. – Don’t forget to put that strap on your neck – Inco said as he handed him the camera; Saitama nodded and slipped the black strip over his head. A few more shots and the camera was exchanged again, Inco eyed his precious DSLR as it passed onto Anon’s hands. The images of all the times Anon had dropped his food, his drinks and his toys way back when flashed on Inco’s mind, he looked distraught as Anon turned away to position himself. – What was he doing? Stop pressing buttons dammit- Inco was sweating a bit now. –THE STRAP! - Inco’s shout startled Anon and Saitama, his pupils then contracted, scanning Anon, he had his back turned to him but… Both his hands were up by his side, startled after the shout… -The camera- Inco’s mind began racing, his eyes widened under his sunglasses and his eyebrows pierced the top of his head, his teeth could have cracked like dry clay if he had bitten any harder. Inco couldn’t move, he was frozen in place, cold spikes had nailed his feet to the ground. He had opened his mouth to scream and curse Anon, but he noticed something. Anon and Saitama where looking at him now, perplexed and bewildered, Inco looked at Anon and in his chest dangling from the obsidian string stood the camera, secured tightly by two metal pins on each side. Inco let out a heavy sigh, then brought his hand up to slap himself in the face, as the open palm was racing towards his nose, Inco remembered his glasses… It was too late now. “SLAP” then “clank” the shades fell to the ground and bounced up slightly before falling once again. Saitama was now at his side, he reached down for the glasses and examined them, no damage could be seen so he handed them back to Inco -Thanks man- Inco sounded defeated, he looked at the sunglasses himself and found no cracks or scratches -You uhh… want the camera back? - Anon asked Inco while holding the camera up slightly -No no, it’s alright, we’ll take the pictures don’t worry- Inco straightened his posture and looked at Anon –I’m sorry for shouting- -Its ok Inco, but if you want I’ll give you the camera back, I know I’m clumsy- Anon looked down at the camera and then at Inco again -No Please Anon, its alright- Inco muttered under his breath, he breathed in again and adjusted his sunglasses –I want to take a few pictures with my cousin too! - he said while snickering, more energized. They all chuckled and the tension dissipated into the small water jets coming from the fountain, Inco and Saitama took their positions and anon brought the camera up to his face. Saitama grabbed Inco’s shoulder and pointed at Anon. -Tell him that he doesn’t need to put the camera that close to his face- Saitama said with a smile. Anon heard that and extended his arms, now the DSLR was in a good position to begin taking pictures. After a few more snaps Anon handed the camera back to Inco. -Hey- Saitama interjected – what about all three of us- the other two looked back at Saitama –we haven’t taken a group photo- The three stood there looking at each other while thinking briefly -And how are we going to do that? - Anon seemed confused at the proposition -Well, the camera has a timer, we could take the photo that way- Inco seemed exited again, any lingering feelings about earlier had already disappeared. They all nodded, Anon and Saitama placed themselves in front of the fountain yet again while Inco set up the camera on a small ledge nearby; with the camera now secured he ran back to his cousins. “SNAP!” FIN