Title: Spears' Endeavors In Parenting
Status: Complete
Characters: Anon, Fang, Samantha, Ripley, Spears
Rating: SFW
Classification: One Shot
Author: SaltyAnon

>Principal Spears was a simple caveman.
>He loved his wife, he loved his job, he loved his three daughters, and he loved his students
>He truly wanted for naught
>But known to none but himself, Spears desired a son
>His grates shame as the man who had it all
>Just someone to go on fishing trips with, complete traditional woodworking projects with, and to throw around the old footrock with. 
>Typical father and son things
>It was one of the reasons he remained as a principal rather than taking the promotion to superintendent
>If he couldn't have father-son moments with his own children, Principal-Student moments would have to suffice
>That was until he came along
>He was perfect.
>Young, isolated from peers due to bully, and emotionally distant from his own parents
>and best of all, human
>Spears had to stop himself from calling the young man ‘sport’ when he walked into the office
>Truly there was no greater person in need of a father figure than Anon Y. Mous
>Spears had decided he would be that father figure come hell or high water.
>Unfortunately their first interaction was cut far too short, Anon merely needed a food card
>Spears directed Mrs. Hunter to get the paperwork in order while he talked to the boy
>Simple questions really
>When is your date of birth? Do you play any sports? How's your relationship with your father? Have you watched roro ni kenshin?
>Nothing too suspicious
>The rest of the day passed quickly besides a small incident in the auditorium
>Mx. Aaron, Mrs. Freeman and, Mr. Pikeman had trouble with their performance
>The trouble being the student body reacting negatively 
>A bit of shouting and hollow threats kept them in line
>Anon even went
>Hopefully he was behaving himself
>Wait if he wasn’t that would mean Spears could deal out a lesson in discipline
>But that would mean he would have a delinquent son
>Spears stopped to contemplate which would be better, a delinquent or kind hearted son
>Anon was able to sneak away while spears was making his decision

>From then on Spears took a great interest in Anon’s time at school
>Parent teacher night was an interesting night indeed
>Since Anon’s parents weren't able, or more likely not willing, to attend the young man decided to stay home
>Spears had derailed that by showing up at his door
>”I heard you didn’t have a parent for parent-teacher conferences. Maybe I could be your parent for tonight?”
>Anon didn’t really have a choice in the matter as Spears picked him up over his head and placed him back down in the car waiting outside
>The whole night was a fever dream
>Spears played the part of a parent perfectly
>Even the look of disappointment when his pathetic gym marks came to light
>The principal seemed pleased with how his science and music marks turned out though
>The teachers seemed to confused with what Spears was doing as well
>On the bright side Spears took Anon to get ice cream on the way back to his home
>Anon kind of wished the night could be wiped from memory, the looks he got from other students was getting to him
>Spears on the other hand was quite happy
>He was one step closer to his endgame
>Anon’s parents seemed to be open to letting the adoption happen
>Now all Spears needed was to get the paperwork together and convince his wife
>He was planning to deal with the second one later tonight


>Spears got another bonding moment with Anon due to the young man continuing to download Saternia
>Such shit taste will need to be corrected in time
>And that time was now
>Since physical labour wasn’t effective, Spears decided to attack the problem at its source
>Anon, who had prepared for more work with the gardening club and more of Rosa’s food was more than a little frightened when he was sent directly to the principal’s office instead
>That fear was changed to befuddlement when Spears had wheeled in a small TV along with a plethora of classic Anime
>Pentagun, Spaceman Dedot, Roro ni kenshin, Outlaw Sun, and (You) (You) Hakusho to name a few
>Anon would have been down for watching anime any day
>But watching with his physically imposing principal on the weekend that normally would be for hard labour made the situation unverning
>The selection was good nonetheless, Pretty kino
>Every few episodes would be broken up by Spears discussing the history of the production and how “they don't make em like that anymore” 
>Anon just nodded along
>By the time they had finished it was getting close to dinner
>Quick as a flash Anon thanked his principal and dipped while Spears turned to his filing cabinet
>He promised Fang a dinner date later after all
>This meant Spears revealed the adoption papers to an empty room
>And only that empty room would see Spears' single tear of anguish

>Eventually the last few weeks of the school year rolled up
>Many crazy things had happened
>VVORM DRAMA played an good show at a small pizza joint, or so he overheard from some of the students
>Anon got doxxed for having made some embarrassing photos by Trish, that was not a fun situation to handle
>Thankfully Anon seemed to take his fatherly advice to heart and willing to talk with her about the situation
>Spears had struggled to keep the feeling of pride from spilling out of his pockets like al dente pasta 
>It had been an interesting school semester with only one flaw
>Graduation was coming soon and Spears had yet to breach the topic of adoption to Anon
>As soon as he was graduated the probability of Spears getting a chance to ask him was nil
>Thus a plan was formed
>An end of the year camping trip
>A trip that required a parents permission to attend
>Most likely Lucy, the school’s local punk rock princess, would attend the trip along with her friends
>Anon would join the trip as well to have continued hangouts with his girlfriend
>Excellent choice by the way my son
>However since Anon’s parents were not around to sign it the responsibility would fall to him as principal to give permission
>And thus the adoption papers could be presented
>Truly devious Spears
>So imagine his surprise when Anon showed up on the last day with a signed permission slip
>From the Aaron no less
>Was this a joke of some sort
>The smug looks of satisfaction shot in his direction from Ripley, Samantha, and even young Naser proved otherwise
>The family pulled Anon and Lucy into a tight family group hug, still holding his gaze
>So that's how it was going to be then
>Spears walked over to discuss the fact of their signatures on Anon slip
>Ripley spoke up first “Well the kid had been hanging around our little Lucy a good bit now so we thought why not, I’d hate to ruin young love”
>Then Samantha “Besides the sheet said parent or guardian and we’ve been having over so much lately he's practically like another son”
>That was disconcerting but understandable
>If he could see how much Anon need proper parental units in his life so could others
>The Aarons may have a leg up on him due to their relation through Fang
>But that wouldn’t stop Principal Spears Primal
>On his ancestor Jack Samurai’s honor, he would adopt that boy
>The principal bid the Aarons farewell and jumped on the bus
>The trip went as smoothly as expected with a bus pack full of hormonal teenagers

>Upon arriving at the campsite Spears was given another surprise
>The rest of the Aaron family was there
>”Don’t worry about us, we were just taking a small vacation up to our cottage near here. And don't be surprised if we steal Lucy and her boyfriend every once and awhile.”
>The words of the matriarch shook Spears to his core
>Clearly this excursion would not be so simple
>In fact it seemed to be an uphill battle
>Spears vs the Aarons
>A series of wacky hijinks to monopolize Anon’s time ensued
>Spears started strong by calling the students to a nearby lake for swimming with the intention to teach Anon swimming much like his father before him
>Riply countered by taking Anon onto the middle lake for fishing, just father and future son in law
>Spears quickly hurled a large rock onto one side of the boat flinging Anon back to dry land before they could get too far out
>Anon was then swept up by Samantha who had made snacks
>This is how the entire trip proceeded, two groups of adults fighting to take control of parenting a young man on the cusp of adulthood
>All Anon wanted to do was sneak into the forest to make out with Fang
>In the end no one got what they wanted