Title: PSA: SRIDS Status: Complete Characters: Fang, Anon Rating: SFW Classification: One-Shot Author: SurpriseVisitor Summary: i'm sorry A lone human stands in front of a solitary grave. His head cast low and his hands stuffed in his pocket, he heaves a heavy sigh. “I didn’t know… I didn’t know…” he mutters to himself. A single tear rolls down his cheek. The grave reads ‘Fang - SRIDS Victim’. What started as light fun between two fledgeling lovers turned into something far worse than either of them could have imagined. Let’s retrace their steps to see how this happened, and learn how you can recognize the signs and prevent the spread of SRIDS (Snoot Related Indecency and Degeneracy Syndrome). A human boy and a pterodactyl girl are sitting on a park bench. The girl looks shocked. “You want to what? You can’t, my dad would kill you!” she says. “Come on babe, it’s just a little boop. It’s all the rage these days…” the boy replies. “He doesn’t have to find out.” “Well… alright… just once…” She leans over, offering her snoot to the boy. He reaches over and pokes it with a finger. She giggles. “Oh, that was kind of fun…” Looks like some harmless fun between two teenagers, doesn’t it? WRONG! Just one ‘boop’ can transmit SRIDS - one of many snootually transmitted diseases found in today's society - and can send someone down the path of no return, like it did for this unfortunate girl here. Let’s keep going. The human and ptero from earlier are in a high school classroom together. The girl leans over and whispers to the boy. “Hey… boop me.” “Here?” he whispers back. “But we’re in school, babe.” “I know, but… please?” She looks at him with puppy-dog eyes, and the poor boy simply can’t resist. He pokes her snoot, just like last time. “Harder,” she demands. He obliges, pressing two fingers against her snoot. “Yes…” she sighs. The teacher continues with his lesson plan, none the wiser to the debauchery going on in his class. In just a few days or weeks, what started out as a private exchange of affection has turned into a public display of degeneracy. It will only get worse from here. Our couple sits together in a rundown apartment. He roughly boops her snoot, but she isn’t satisfied. “I need more. You can do better than that!” she yells. “I don’t know! I don’t know what more I can do,” he sulks. “My bestie, Trish, told me something you can do. It’s called ‘two in the nose, one in the mouth’.” He seems taken aback, but he goes along with the strange request. He places a finger in each of her nostrils, and one more in her mouth. Her eyes roll into the back of her head, drooling on his finger while she moans and shudders. As you can see, the situation has gotten out of control. One ‘boop’ has spiraled into this horrifying act. Modern medicine has not yet invented a cure for this insidious disease. At this point, there is almost no hope for the girl. Unfortunately, this is not the end. The poor, diseased soul sits at a lunch table, eating a large sandwich. Her snoot has become discolored from the disease. The boy walks up and sits next to her. “Man, I’m so hungry. I forgot my lunch money…” he says, stomach growling. “Can I have some of yours?” “Sure…” she grins maliciously. “If you suck my snoot.” His eyes widen in horror. He can see that he is out of his depth, but it’s too late. Shamelessly, in the middle of the cafeteria, they lean into each other. A mosaic censor covers the act, as it is far too graphic for general audiences. After this, there is no way for the boy to satisfy his lover. Try as he might, no amount of booping, fingering, or other salacious acts that need not be described can keep her desires at bay for long. Soon enough, they will consume her every waking moment, not allowing a moment to eat, drink or sleep, eventually leading to death. This is the end-stage of a SRIDS victim. For parents and teachers, the best way to stop the spread of SRIDS is to stay informed, and make sure it never finds its way to you or your loved ones. Stay up to date on today’s slang, make sure to vet who your children interact with, and make sure no booping happens in your classrooms. For children and young adults, abstinence is the best way to make sure you never suffer the fate of this young girl. Do not ‘boop’, do not accept any ‘boops’ from someone if you aren’t sure if they can spread SRIDS, and wait until you are married to ‘boop’ each other. Abstinence - it ain’t snoopid! This has been a public service announcement paid for by the Volcaldera Center for Disease Control.