Title: Moe Family, Moe Problems Status: Complete Characters: Moe, Anon, Fang, Naser Rating: SFW Classification: One-Shot Author: Anonymous/CC Summary: Anon needs a job, but nobody will take him. “Grrrrrrrrrrrr…” Moe’s growling echoed throughout the room, his eyes narrowing and a sharp grimace blessing his features. His aggravation knew no bounds, but with a single meaty slap, he quieted down. The soft, drowsy voice of his wife whispering through the bedroom. “Moe can ya stop growling and just get up already? Ya ain’t gonna scare the sun away.” Moe grimaced but the pain of the light slap faded quickly enough, and he rose and began to get ready for the day. Beginning the half gymnastic show, and half strip show as he changed out of his pajamas and into his work clothes. All the while he started to gingerly hum, the grogginess rapidly fading away as he woke up and returned to his usual cheery mood. His mouthful of sharp, glistening teeth shining for the whole world to see as he ruminated on the events of the night prior. His childhood friend, and fratu, Ripley had called him in the dead of the night. Much to Moe’s annoyance, but ey, whadyagunnado? Family’s family, and the call did shed some light on the events just a few hours prior. Moe grinned just remembering it, lil Lucy popped on in! And with a boy in tow to boot! Moe felt a tear well up in his eye, thinking of how much his lil Lucy had grown since he’d last seen her. Ol Nassy and her had grown up into a pair of fine dinos. Of course, Lucy and the boy had vehemently denied any romantic interest between em, but ol Moe wasn’t so easily fooled. He saw how that boy looked at his niece, and how she had leapt at him and wrapped em in a hug. Looking back towards his bed, at the form of his slowly waking wife, he smiled. To be young and in love. He leaned down and pecked her on the cheek, before silently leaving and starting the daily prep work. As he got to work on the daily, usual routine, he felt his mind wander back… where did he leave off… Ah that’s right. Ol Rip threatinin to rip that kid to shreds! Moe chuckled. That kid sure had some cazzos on em, givin Nass and his girl the slip while he was supposed to be watchin em. But ol Moe knows that kid ain’t trouble. Ain’t no way that goomba woulda laid a hand on Rip’s lil silver scooch without her lettin it happen. Moe did admit that Rip had a point what with her whole acting out, but a reminder of lil sis Maria back in the day in Little Saurcily, and how they dealt with that stronzo gator calmed em down. But bah, just a bunch of fugazi. That kid wouldn’ta lasted a week in Lil Saurcily, ain’t tough like himself or Rip. Ah the good ol days… Hmm. Should check up on how Maria’s doin with her own skinnie. Spears was it? Some time later Anon sighed as the morning rays illuminated his weary form, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking into his worryingly light wallet. Even the comedically timed fly fluttering out didn’t cheer him up as he looked at the absence of a single dino buck within his wallet. Just his debit card, that he was honestly afraid of looking at the balance for. Who knew that dating a borderline-cannibal Petro that regularly ate entire bags of dino nuggies could be so expensive? Looking at his wallet, he looked around the room. The solemn realization coming to him. He knew it was going to pain him greatly, ending his life as he knew it. It would bring untold misery and humiliation. Yet it must be done, and now was the time. Summer was around the corner, and he had plans. He would have to get a job, dino jesus he could already hear their mocking cries. “Wagie wagie.” He shook his head, and turning he felt warmth fill his breast. Resolve building as he pictured himself, miserable yet unbroken, poster board on his office cubicle wall. “Do it for her snoot.” He froze as he heard a groggy, confused voice speak up from his bed. “What the fuck did you just say dweeb?” More time later Anon felt both amused and immensely frustrated as he reminisced. Croc-Mart, Whale-greens, fuck even McRaptor didn’t want to hire him. He supposed that going to the fancy parts of town as a skinnie, one that lived in skin row to boot, and asking for a job would get this response. As much as it was frustrating, he couldn’t even blame them, he’s had enough experience dealing with his neighbors. He wouldn’t want to hire any fuckin guy from here either. For a moment he considered getting a job nearer to skin row. But the idea of getting shot or shanked on his lunch break didn’t seem particularly appealing, and the weekly robbery likely left them with little money to pay him. No, he was going to get a job in the good part of town no matter what. But where? Where would take him? What if he couldn’t get a job? What if he couldn’t get enough money? What- He felt her hand squeeze his, and he shook his head, cleaning away the thoughts as he turned and faced Lucy. ”You okay?” Her voice was so sweet, so concerned. He felt a tear come to his eye as he relished in how lucky he was. But no, he would be fine. He wouldn’t bother his lovely gf with this nonsense now. Just focus on enjoying the date night, it can wait. He felt a punch in his shoulder. “If you say so, dweeb.” God fucking damn these mumbles. Sighing, he looked over Lucy, and saw her still looking at him with concern. Guilt crept into his gut, cold and clawing. But he forced a reassuring smile onto his face, as fake as it may have felt. He placed a hand on Fang’s shoulder, silently reassuring her as best he could. Both of their eyes softened as they drew closer together. An unspoken conversation taking place as Fang’s concern lessened, but still remained. While Anon’s smile softened into a more genuine one, and he started to lean in… *COUGH* Anon and Lucy broke apart, blushing as Nasser looked into the rear view mirror, fear lacing his eyes at nearly allowing that to happen under his watch. The merciful sound of the Nas-car slowing to a halt pierced the awkward silence as Nasser parked.”Alright we’re here! Have fun you two.” As soon as the two stepped out, Nasser quickly sped off, likely wanting to not see anything that would result in Ripley’s wrath coming down upon them all. Ah Ripley. Would he ever even grow to accept them? Or would he just constantly be against them? If so, what could he do to change his mind? Or was it just…. The snapping of fingers in front of his face returned Anon to the mortal plane. He felt guilt well up inside again as he saw Fang’s concerned look. “Anon, is everything… alright?” Anon forced himself to stand up a bit straighter, a forced cocksure smile coming to his face as he gave a thumbs up. “Yup! Never better! Now, let's head on inside. Don’t want to lose out on the good seats.” Anon pointedly turned and headed into the familiar Italian restaurant. Leaving a still worried looking Fang following behind him. Moe was flipping pizzas, using his extendable plastic arms expertly as he hummed to himself a familiar song. Tony’s raspy voice broke the silence as he stuck his head in. “Ey boss, Lucy and her fraggiol boy is ‘ere.” Moe perked up and smiled, those two had been coming by much more regularly on proper dates ever since they held their concert. Moe always made sure to take a step out to chat with them and make them feel welcome. Raptor lord knows that boy probably needs it considering how Rip still hasn’t warmed up to em, but ol Moe knew deep down he was just wanting to make sure Anon was a good man for lil Lucy, that he wouldn’t be scared off just by a little bit of light threats. Moe gingerly placed the extendo-arms onto their hooks and walked out, exclaiming in greeting. “Ah! Mi familia! Lil Lucy and Anon! Welcome back!” He paused in his step, an eyebrow raising as he looked at the two. Anon looked… bad. Bags under his eyes, and the smile was too wide, too forced. And Lucy… She looked downright beside herself in worry. Anon spoke loudly, clearly, and all too stiffly. “Table for two my good Uncle Moe!” Moe’s smile faltered a bit in worry, but he quickly turned, snatching up two menus and leading them to their table. Glancing back at them. His eyes met Lucy’s, who grimaced. This can’t be good. Looks like ol Moe will have to poke his snout in. “Here’s your table! Oh an, Anon. Would ya mind if I stole away Lil Lucy for a moment? I found some old photos of Rip and all o em that I wanted to share.” Anon didn’t even blink an eye, simply giving another grin and a thumbs up. Lucy looked conflicted, but with a wink from Moe, she followed him into the back. As the door behind Lucy closed, Moe’s grin faltered and he furrowed his brow. Turning he saw Lucy standing nervously. “Lucy… What’s up with em?” She remained silent for a moment, and Moe could see her young pride battling out with her desire for help within her. Eventually, she spoke. “I… I don’t know. He’s been this way for a few weeks, ever since school ended. I’ve tried to ask him but he just clams up and acts like everything is fine.” Moe nodded and asked. “What has he been up to from what ya know?” Lucy scratched the back of her neck, nerves calming a bit as she wracked her brain for anything of use. “He said he was going to look for a summer job… but that’s about it.” Moe hummed, a hunch starting to form in the old dino’s gut. “Ya mind if I chat with em a bit? See if I can’t make 'em talk?” Lucy hesitated. Glancing out she saw Anon staring blankly into the menu, his lips slightly moving like he does when he mutters. Guilt began to well up as she slowly nodded. Moe’s eyes softened, and he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I think I know what’s gotten em in a wind.” As Moe stepped out onto the floor he muttered under his breath. “Kids, sheesh. Now, how to best get Anon to let is guard down…” Anon jumped as Moe’s massive framed settled onto the upholstered bench, eliciting a groaning creak as he leaned down. Face sullen and stern. Anon felt unease settle in, the unusual show of seriousness from the Rex making him freeze. “Uhhhhh.” “Anon.” His voice was low, growling. Anon swore he could see Ripley impose itself over Uncle Moe. He nodded slowly as the much larger dino leaned over him, eyes digging into his own, as he spoke. ”Did you get Lil Lucy pregnant?” Anon’s eyes went wide, and he quickly shaked his head as he burst out into a fit of surprised coughing. Spluttering out a few words ”No no no! What the f- Why would you think that?” As though a switch was flipped, Moe returned to his usual smile, leaning back as he burst into uproarious laughter as amusement filled his voice. ”It just seemed like you were spustad’d out, something distracting you from having a good time? Come on, lay it out on yer Uncle Moe.” Anon froze, blush coming to his cheek and shame redoubled within his gut. He opened his mouth, he waved his hands, stuttering out “No sir I’m fine. Just fine.” Tony simply stared, eyes and smile knowingly, yet silently challenging Anon. “Just having some issues finding a job that’s all.” Moe seemingly perked up at this, and simply stated. “Anything else botherin ya?” Anon hesitated for a moment, before slowly speaking. ”I just. I have a lot on my mind. I’ve just… I’ve been trying to find a job. Have money issues. Hell, I sold my legendary Neptunia sword model in DINO 2 just to pay for this date.” Moe didn’t know what a Neptunia, or a DINO 2 was, but he didn’t need to know. He just needed to let this little wayo talk. Moe smiled as the floodgates broke and Anon continued. “I just have no way to make money, and I’ve been trying. I really have. But I just can’t find a job. No one wants to hire a skinnie, and I can’t really blame them. I’m just some random schmuck that hasn't had a single job in his life and now that he has a reason to get one I can’t!” Anon was slowly growing more and more animated. His voice growing louder, his arms starting to wave around to accent his words. Moe thanked fate that it was a slow night, and that he had the foresight to put them on a table near the back so they could have privacy. “And it wouldn’t even be that big of a deal if I had time! Or I was on my own! But I don’t! I only have this summer! Then I am off to wherever the fuck!” Anon suddenly falls still and quiet. “I’m just a failure. I don’t deserve Lucy. I wanted to make the time we had as great as possible, dates and all of that. But I just don’t have the money. I even had this dumb idea, giving her something before I left for wherever so she’d have something to remember me by and just… Fuck.” Moe nodded, as he watched Anon slump down, clutching the sides of his head with his hands. Continuing to speak. “I just don’t know how any of this should work. I don’t know how to make it work. I don’t… I don’t know what’ll happen. To me, to Lucy, to us, or anything.” The old T-rex opened his mouth and began to speak. His voice low, but gentle. ”Anon. Lemme ask ya something.” Anon looked up. ”Have you talked about this with Lucy? More than just the surface plan?” Anon’s gaze darting to the side was all the confirmation Moe needed. He sighed deeply. Closing his eyes as he continued. His voice calm, unfaltering. ”Anon. What is a relationship to you?” Anon meekly replied, his voice dripping in shame. “I uh…I…I don’t know.” Moe nodded. ”Family. It means family kid.” Moe opened his eyes, and idly watched Anon’s reaction as he spoke. ”Kid, your troubles aren’t anything new in the world. Worryin ‘bout money, worryin ‘bout the future, worryin ‘bout those close to ya. All of it is temporary. Over my years, I learned that there is only one thing that will be there forever. Family. Now, I don’t mean those blood related. I mean those who are more a part of you than you are of yourself.” Moe breathed deeply. “A relationship is an invitation to someone to become the most important part of your family. Yer partner, yer second set of hands. A relationship brings two into one and the same. Always giving support…But also receiving it from each other. Me, I’m just an uncle. Giving support sometimes, but not always. Lucy, she’ll be the one that supports you through everythin, just as you supported them. Anon, do you get what I’m sayin?” Silence is all that answers Moe, but Anon’s enraptured face bids him to continue. ”You and Lucy are one now. Inseparable, both in joy and sadness. In both burdens and support. To attempt to separate your burdens from them don’t work, because you’re just separating them from you. I have seen how Lucy has changed after meeting you. She has changed in a million ways for the better.” Moe leans forward, eyes digging into anon’s. ”Let her support you in the same way you supported her, kid.” Moe lets it hang for a moment, staring into Anon’s eyes. Before standing up, reaching into his shirt pocket. He pulls out a white paper and places it in front of Anon. ”Once you can, the worries will fade. Vanish, no. But fade, as you’ll know you’ll always have them with you, no matter the distance or any other garbo. And your family will support you.” Anon looks down at the job application for Dino-Moe’s. Looking up, he catches Moe giving him a wink before slipping back into the backroom.