Title: In the Blackest Moment of a Dying World Status: Complete Characters: Anon, Tracy Rating: SFW Classification: One-Shot Author: PumpkinBrain Summary: Anon, home from the Navy, sees a bald, skinny, messed-up looking Fang; playing a dead guitar tune in a dead pizza restaurant. He breaks down at the sight, running through the streets, eventually ending up in a lonely hot dog shop. The owner recognizes him and tries to help him through his troubles. But… maybe there’s something else there. “No, it can’t—I can’t have—!” I yelled, running through the streets, tears flowing down my face. “I can’t have done that to her!” I wailed. I continued rubbing at my eyes, trying in vain to stop the flood of tears flowing down my face, but nothing was working. I continued to yell, wail, cry… unable to understand where it had gone so wrong. Unable to ascertain why I… why I had said what I said on that goddamn beach. I may have been drunk, but WHY?! “WHY, GOD DAMN IT! WHY!” I yelled again. Cars honked at me and people pulled their children away from the sidewalks, but fuck it. I didn’t care. People could be afraid of me all they want. People could think I’m schizophrenic— I didn’t give a damn! Because I—I fucking! …I. I… I just felt so… destroyed. I. I ruined her life. It was my fault. She had tattoos, short-hair, she was all skin and bones, she looked destroyed and fucked up… and… and worst of all? She… the light. The light in her eyes. It had been extinguished. Long ago. …and it was my fault. It was my fucking fault. Because I was such a fucking idiot. …I don’t know how long I kept running. My training in the Navy had helped my stamina immensely, and I guess I never really lost that. The smoking habit I picked up after returning home helped hinder me a bit, of course, but my lungs were still full and ready to go. Ready to continue running until, hopefully, I’d fall off an overpass and give the street janitors something to clean up. Haha. Yeah. That would be funny. I fall off an overpass and get hit by a car midair, splattering my body on the car and the road below, as if I were a deer or cattle or something. Wouldn’t it be great? For me to just.. die? For me to leave this world? I would love to do so. I didn’t have a reason to stick around anymore. Not after… not after seeing her in that restaura— BWOOPBWOOP Oh, shit. The fuzz. I guess someone reported me. Or maybe the officer just knew I was a piece of shit. Could be either or. Thinking quickly, I ended up ducking into an open building to escape away from the officer. He didn’t see me enter, so I hoped the coast was clear. It should’ve been. He probably wouldn’t have even arrested me, but I guess you can’t be too careful. When I turned around to face the place I had run into unannounced, I mostly just took notice of how it looked. Various pictures were strewn about the restaurant, tables had checkerboard patterns, the soda machine had washable plastic cups next to it, and the whole thing was complimented by a color scheme of a muted red and yellow. Oh, and, there was a speaker somewhere playing ‘Welcome to Paradise’ by Green Day, which I found to be somewhat… fitting. It was a comforting shop. All in all, it looked like a place that sold exclusively hot dogs, or maybe ‘the world’s best slice of pizza’. You know the kind. Super homely and super familiar to everyone that walked in—the type of place where you’d meet the owner and he’d be cooking with the rest of the folks inside. Conveniently, the restaurant was empty. Except for a lone Sanjuanensis dino, who had stopped wiping down a table when I walked in. After a few moments of looking confused, she gained a big smile. “Evening, kid! What can I do for ya’?” She said, and put the rag in an apron pocket she had. “Oh, hey.” I said, wiping my eyes of any remaining tears. I had long-since stopped crying. And… I didn’t know why, but she seemed familiar. Wait, I should probably say something. “Sorry, I just.. came in to..” I trailed off, not knowing how I would explain my situation. ‘I was running away from the police’ sounded like a stupid-ass thing to say, so… I went with the next best thing. “I’m here for a hot dog.” “Well then, you’ve come to the right place!” The girl exclaimed, and gave me a nod. Her hat fell down slightly when she did, so she quickly corrected it. Cute. “Wanna take a look at the menu while I rev up the fryers?” She asked, already in the process of walking away, the question being more rhetorical than anything. I just muttered a ‘sure’ and walked up to the counter. God, what was I doing? She was completely distracted right now, I could easily just ditch out of here and forget I ever walked in. But… I knew I wouldn’t do it. I was too much of a fucking pussy to run out on another girl. I had already done it to someone important, though, so why was I hesitating on a complete stranger? I didn’t fucking know, and I couldn’t fucking tell you. I guess I just felt obligated to buy a hot dog, given I barged in here so rudely. Maybe it was because she seemed so happy to see me? Or maybe I thought buying a hot dog would help me get into this girl’s pants. I didn’t know, and all of it sounded… realistic enough. Especially that last part. A piece of shit like me buying a hot dog to get dinosaur pussy wasn’t too much of a stretch… I sighed, and scratched my head. The beanie provided somewhat of a barrier, yet allowed for a more comfortable experience. Which—man, whatever! Who cares! Who cares about a god damn beanie… —My thoughts were interrupted by the yellow dinosaur lady walking out from the kitchen. She clapped her hands together, and took out a small notepad. “Whew! Alright. What can I get started for you?” Oh, shit. I forgot to actually look at the menu. Uhh… She snorted. “Not decide yet? I can give you some more time, kid.” She giggled, and leaned her hand on the counter. “I know, I know. I understand. The menu is imposing.” After she said that, I took a look at the menu, and noticed it only contained around ~3 items. I turned to look at the girl, and she gave me a cheeky smile. I found myself smiling back. That was pretty funny. “Yeah, sure.” I said, finally speaking up. “Lemme just get a chili dog.” I asked, and then gave her a nod. She began to write something down, and then I remembered. “Please.” I added. …Phew. I can be a sack of shit, but I can’t forget my manners. “Not a problem, hun.” She muttered softly, continuing to write. What the hell was she writing? ‘Chili dog’ is two words. Though, her calling me ‘hun’ felt… nice. Ope, wait. She stopped writing. “That’ll be about ten minutes. Go ahead and take a seat anywhere.” She shrugged, giving me another smile. I smiled back, nodded, and turned away from the counter. …A faint blush began to creep up on my face. Exceptional customer service, I shan’t lie. Calling your customer ‘hun’ really added that whole ‘mommy fetish’ thing to the ‘hot dog restaurant’ that I’m pretty sure I… liked a little TOO much. But what can I say. ‘Freud can’t keep getting away with it’? That’s lame. The motherfuckers on that shitty Slovenian Warren G fan forum say it all the time and it’s totally dumb. No, your mommy fetish isn’t because of Freud, your mommy fetish is because you’ve been exposed to porn since a young age and view fucking your stepmom as normal behavior… ..what? I chuckled as I slid into a booth seat. God, me and my rambling. Sometimes I really do just go on and on about stupid shit. But I guess I can’t help it. I kind of.. have an overactive mind. But I should probably forget all of that and get myself back on track. What was I thinking about before I came in here? It was something to do with— …oh. yeah. I put my head in my hands as I looked down at the table. Various stains and markings didn’t dissuade me from putting my arms on it, because honestly, I didn’t care about the fucking table. I cared about important things. Like how I… like how I ruined Fang’s… Fang’s… No. I sighed internally. No. Not Fang’s life. I.. I ruined Lucy’s life. I ruined Samantha and Ripley’s pirate princess. I destroyed her, and for what? What did I gain? That night, I didn’t gain anything. I… the.. I only lost. I didn’t gain anything, I only lost. I lost everything that was important to me. My friends, my future, and… my one true love. All in one fell swoop. After considering all of this, I gripped at my chest. My heart was… starting to ache. Genuinely, it… it hurt. Is this what they mean when they say heartbreak can kill you..? “Here you go!” A voice yelled, startling me out of my own thoughts. A big-ass plate of food was set in front of me, full of chili and cheese, nearly heart-attack inducing just from looking at it. Is there even a hot dog under there? “Yes, there is. I really like to load up on the side stuff, though, so I hope you don’t mind that.” “Oh, did I mutter that?” I asked, turning to look at the girl again. She gave a sly grin. “You sure did, pal. You’ve been doing that a lot since you walked in.” She leaned in, and got close. I could practically touch her. “Maybe one of these times it’ll be about how cute you think I am.” She said, and gave a giggle. My blush came back, and I began to stutter. “I—um, I, you—“ She cackled, and straightened back out. “Ah, kid, don’t worry! I’m just jerkin’ your chain!” She explained, leaning on her hip. She was still snickering somewhat. “You look a little down, so I figured I’d try to brighten your mood a little bit.” She said, adjusting her hat as she did. “Oh, that’s—“ I started, and cut myself off. It was starting to make sense to me. She had a valid reason.. “I mean, yeah, that makes sense.” I nodded, mostly to myself, echoing my thoughts. Trying to brighten the mood, eh? Yeah. I can see it. Genuinely, though, she is kinda cute… After not hearing a reply, I looked back up at her. She had a blush on her face. Oh, fuck. “I mean, that’s—“ She looked away, and gave a nervous chuckle. “Thanks, kid. But I think I’m a little old for you.” She trailed off, and shook her head. “But anyway.” Aw. “I noticed it when you came in, you’re all sorts of down in the dumps. You looked totally lost and confused. Do you even know what this restaurant is called?” Fuck. She got me. I didn’t know. I couldn’t get out of this, so, swallowing my pride, I just shook my head. “That’s fair. And for your information, this place is called Tracy’s Dawgs.” She explained, and it INSTANTLY hit me. Everything fell in line. Everything started to make sense. That’s why she was familiar! “Now—“ I interrupted her. “Wait, Tracy?? Like, hot dog stand owner Tracy?” I asked, feeling oddly desperate. I had to know. I had to know if this was really the same person. Rather than look confused, she looked surprised. Good sign. “You knew me from when I owned that hot dog stand?” She asked, almost incredulously. I nodded. “Wow. You’ve got a pretty good memory. I only had that thing for like, a year.” She laughed. “Yeah, no, I knew you. You gave me and my…” I trailed off, realizing what I was going to say. Urgh. I shook my head. “You gave me and this pterodactyl girl hot dogs a long time ago. You probably don’t even remember, but.. it happened.” I shrugged. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for me to remember someone, but for them to… not remember me. That’s kinda how it always went for me. A lot of people have even said they don’t remember me having a face.. “Wait, are you—“ she spoke, and had her own realization. “You were the kid with the pterodactyl?! The kid wearing green?!” She asked, completely unbelieving. “Yeah, that was me.” I smiled a pained smile. She picked up on it instantly. “Uh oh.” She muttered. “What happened?” “What? What do you mean?” I laughed a nervous laugh. I didn’t want her to ask questions, but my tone betrayed how I truly felt. This wasn’t her problem to deal with, it was mine. Mine and mine alone. “You remember what I was sayin’ earlier? About how I could tell you were all messed up?” She asked, and gave a light-hearted snicker. “You’re not pulling the wool over my eyes, kid. Now come on. I wanna see if I can help.” She said softly, and sat down across from me. I didn’t say she could… I sighed. “Tracy, that’s very nice of you but, I’m—“ I shook my head. “I’m fine. Thanks.” I gave a strained smile. “You sure?” She asked, looking at me with.. a look. Pity. “Yes,” I said, and nodded. God.. can you just move on? Please… I don’t need this right now. I don’t need this ever. I just want to eat my food. …Her face contorted, and she looked mad. Fuck. “That muttering of yours is a real problem, kid.” Tracy said, giving me the stink eye. “But I’m gonna let that slide this time.” I breathed a sigh of relief, before she interrupted me. “On one condition.” I stayed silent, before choking something out. I knew what she was going to say. “Yeah?” I asked. She reached across the table, and put her hand on mine. It was oddly soft. “Talk to me. I want to know if you’re okay, Anon. That girl you were with, you and her… you looked so happy together. What went wrong, honey?” She spoke quietly, her voice full of care and affection. I didn’t know how to feel about it. Truth be told, I had technically just met this girl, and now she was going to remove all my problems? Make me feel good about myself? Check if I’m… check if I’m okay? Since when did anyone care about if I was okay? ..But I… I guess I owed it to her to tell her. I was kinda rude to her, and hell, she made me this hot dog. I hate those customers that are rude to the service people, so, in order to not become like them—I decided I would just.. at least explain it. I don’t know. I didn’t want to give her my life story, but I figured I could give her a basic rundown. So, I opened my mouth and let the spaghetti fall out. “It, uh, it started with… me.” I sighed. I guess I was really doing this. I internally strapped myself in. How the hell did I get here... “I just never really supported her, you know? I used the wrong pronouns in my head, I believed her to be crazy and wanting of attention, all of that bull. I didn’t like her, I didn’t like who she was—but I thought I could fix her. I ended up in a relationship with her, and it was based upon… me wanting to make her somebody else.” My eyes were already starting to tear up. Over the years, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on all of this stuff… but this was the first time I was admitting it to anybody. “She wasn’t perfect, Tracy. She had her flaws. But I should’ve… I should’ve helped her with them. I either tried to solve them completely or left her to the wolves. I… I should’ve just..” I clenched my fists. “I should’ve pulled my head out of my ass and realized what was happening around me, Tracy. She was struggling so much with who she was, and I just.. I did nothing.” I muttered, trailing off somewhat. My voice was high and crackly—I felt like I was about to cry, if I wasn’t already. “Mhm-hmm?” Tracy said, nodding for me to continue. I did. I don’t know why I did, but I did. “And then I… on what…” I muttered. It was hard for me to talk about. Tracy gripped my hand tighter. I wasn’t sure when she had started holding it. “On what I consider to be the worst night of my life, I… I made such a big mistake.” I whispered, and watched as tears fell from my eyes and onto the table. “I got drunk, and I— I don’t know why I did it, but Raptor Jesus, Tracy, I admitted it all to her! I admitted what I truly thought about her identity! I called what she believed in— I called it… I called it bullshit.” My voice got quieter at that last part. “And now?” I said, looking into her eyes. I nodded towards the entrance. “She’s down the road, playing a sad song at a restaurant— and Tracy, oh my God, she looks…” I bit my knuckle. The tears kept flowing. God. I was fucked. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I still going? Why was I telling all of this shit to the hot dog girl? And.. why did she look so caring? Why did she look so nice? So accepting, so sweet, so… “She looks so f-fucked up.” I cried. “Her hair is shaved, she’s skinnier than a skeleton, she’s covered in tattoos, and… God, her eyes, Tracy. Her fucking eyes. What used to be beautiful signs of life, they’re… they’re empty. She’s completely dead in there, Tracy.. And it’s all my fault.” I put a hand to my face, rubbing fruitlessly, trying to rid myself of any kind of emotion. Trying to wipe away the tears and put on a blank face. The Navy had made sure to get rid of that emotion, and for a while, I thought it to be true. But this day had completely ruined me. My day had been going completely fine up until I saw Fang, if you can believe that. I woke up, I shitposted, and decided I needed to get out of the house. So I wandered to some random pizza restaurant I had never been in before. And it… it gave me the shell-shock of a lifetime. Seeing her, seeing her mangled form—seeing her fucked up self and realizing that… realizing that she looked like that because of me? It was… it was just too much for my broken mind to handle. Tracy grabbed my other hand, and it… grounded me back in reality. At least, a bit. I was still in a hot dog restaurant. I wasn’t back overseas. “Anon?” She whispered. Her voice remained soft, as soft as it had been ever since this bullshit started. I took notice of her message, but I didn’t acknowledge it. “Anon.” She said, more demanding. Still soft, though. Not rude. I decided to finally humor her. I took my face away from the table as I looked into her eyes. I expected judgement. Anger. Fear. Disgust. Maybe all at once. But instead, what I saw was… care. Compassion. Empathy. She was getting glossy eyes, too, which kinda sealed the deal for me. She… she cared. She cared about what I was saying. “There you are. I thought I lost ya’.” She muttered, and gave a light chuckle. I smiled back. Her little bits of humor were beginning to grow on me. “But, Anon?” She asked. I stayed silent for a few moments, not realizing it wasn’t a rhetorical question. When I caught on, I spoke up. “Y-Yeah?” She rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand in an attempt to comfort me. It was kinda working. “Honey, you can’t blame yourself for all of that stuff. Not anymore.” “But—I—“ I interrupted, wanting to give her ZERO REASON to tell me anything good. I didn’t deserve it. I had never deserved it. Since that day on the beach, I’d deserved nothing but hell. Nothing but suffering. I should burn for an eternity for what I did to that poor girl… “Ah.” Tracy had said, firmly, interrupting me as I did her. But then her face softened. I expected her to look down at the table or something, but she kept eye-contact. “Anon, how many years ago was this?” She spoke, commanding yet soft as a feather. “…around 4, I think?” I muttered, giving a shrug. I hadn’t really kept track. “Four years ago, Anon, and you’re still beating yourself up over it.” She whispered. “It… it was a mistake, darlin’. As you said, you got drunk and… you did something that you regret. That’s obviously no excuse, and, if you have an opportunity to speak to this girl I think it would.. do you some good to apologize…” She trailed off, before coughing, presumably to get herself back on track. “But if you truly regret it as much as you do, then you have to realize that it was… just a mistake. People make mistakes every day, honey. This may have been a life-shattering, life-changing mistake… but forgiveness always gives you the best ending. And this time, you need to forgive yourself.” She finished, her words sending things through me that I wasn’t sure how to feel about. I stayed silent for a little bit, in order to comprehend, which… I felt I had been doing a lot recently. I was usually quite talkative, but ever since the Navy, I just didn’t… have any kind of desire to speak out. They beat silence and submissiveness into me, so it was weird to be able to talk out-of-turn. But even when I did have opportunities to speak, I… had no idea what to say. What can I say to what Tracy just said? Did I agree with it? Did I despise the idea? I had no idea. “You don’t have to make any decisions right now,” The woman clarified. “But you deserve happiness too, Anon. You’re hurting. This is destroying you inside, I can tell. But you can fix this, sweetheart. It’s not too late.” She held both hands tightly, and rubbed them at the same time. “If not for them, then at least for you.” “But… I..” She didn’t interrupt me this time, so I took my chance to speak my mind. “…are you sure?” Is all I asked. Pathetic. “Anon, you’ve stewed in your own misery for four years.” She shook her head, not caring to fix her hat this time. She then spoke the few couple of words that… I had been waiting to hear for so long. “It’s time to let go.” I… as ashamed as I am to say it, I.. considered the idea. I really had been stewing in my own misery for four years. It was the worst mistake I had ever made, and I feel like such a piece of shit for it, but even… even Tracy said I can still apologize. But I also had to apologize to myself, or something. Forgive myself for what I did. I wasn’t sure I would be able to do that right now, but… maybe after? Maybe after I talk with Fang. She didn’t have to forgive me, but… no matter what, I was going to end up giving her that apology. And then I was going to reflect. It had been too damn long, you know…? Too many years spent wasting away… when I could’ve been considering what I did wrong and learning from it. Realizing that it was just a stupid mistake. The worst mistake I’d ever made, but… still a mistake. I was eighteen-years-old. I was a little kid, blinded by the internet, unable to realize that… what I had was something so truly special. I was unable to realize that I had everything handed to me on a silver platter. And like an idiot, I spit on the chef. But now I know. And I… have to move on. I can’t go back to what we had. But maybe I can keep looking forward. Tracy gave me a smile after I thought that, just so you know. I probably muttered it. Oh well. …But rather than start talking again, the Dino girl pushed my hot dog to the side and leaned over the table, her arms opened. It took a second to realize what she was doing, but when I did, I leaned into the hug. I… I ended up putting my head on her shoulder and sighing. It was a shaky sigh, the tears from earlier threatening to break loose again. They didn’t, though. I was able to keep strong and hold out. I wasn’t that touch-starved. I didn’t need to cry. At least… until she began to rub my back. Two hands in a circle. It… it reminded me of my mama. I hadn’t seen her in so long, and it… My tears began to flow down her apron. “Shhh… it’s okay, honey.” Tracy said, her voice muffled by my own jacket. “Let it out.” Her voice was so soft, so caring. I began to lightly wail. I hadn’t done it in so long, but I was… I was bawling. “You’ve been holding this in for a while, huh?” She muttered, continuing to rub my back and comfort me in a way I hadn’t felt in years. I… silently nodded at her question. She didn’t see it, but she felt it. “I’m so sorry, darling. Nobody should have to go through what you have.” I don’t know why, but I began to apologize. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry..” I don’t know why I was apologizing. Maybe it was to Tracy, for having taken up her time or.. maybe it was to Fang. Maybe even to Trish, to Reed, to Naser. All of the people that I had let down. All of the people that I completely failed. I had a chance to save them all, to keep the friendships and relationships alive, but I fucked it. But now I was apologizing. To who, again, I didn’t know. But I had to say sorry. Something was telling me to. “It’s okay, Anon. It’s okay.” Tracy whispered, giving a soft chuckle. It was a beautiful sound. We continued on that for… maybe around ten minutes. I wasn’t exactly keeping track of how long I had spent crying into this girl’s arms. Crying was an embarrassing idea in its own right, but combine that with crying onto the shoulder of someone who, up until fifteen or so minutes ago, was technically a total stranger? …yeah, that was not a good mix. So, eventually, I found myself pulling away. I probably could’ve spent my entire life in her embrace, but eventually, I would’ve had to let go. This was just the time. Sighing to myself, I looked at her with a smile on my face. “Thank you,” I sniffled. “Tracy. You, you didn’t have to—“ “I know exactly what you’re gonna say, and it’s complete nonsense.” She shook her head. Damn. She was good at interrupting me. No offense intended by that. “Of course I had to. Someone I recognize wanders into my restaurant past closing, looking all distraught, dried tears in their eyes and clothing fit for someone who wants to jump off an overpass…” Oh, shit. I winced at that. She just rubbed my hand, apparently catching on. “I couldn’t just leave you alone, Anon. It’s not what my daddy taught me.” “I…” I started again, not knowing the direction I was going in. “Just… thank you, is all.” I smiled. “Of course.” She grinned. But then I caught on to what she had said earlier, and gave a snicker. Light-heartedly. “Daddy’s girl, huh?” I asked, rubbing her hand back. Her hands were soft and very warm. It made me feel happy inside. “You know it, Ay-non.” She snickered, giving her words a random southern drawl. I found myself snorting at that, and put a hand to my chin, leaning my arm against the table. “Nice one, Applejack.” “Yeah, yeah. Sure…” She trailed off. She then opened her eyes and let me have one last one. “Geek.” “Hey!” I exclaimed, mock-outrage filling my tone. “I resemble that remark.” She laughed at that, and I found myself laughing along. It was nice, honestly. Laughing and talking with Tracy. She was a really nice girl to spend time with. Girl. Woman? Was she a woman? She had to be older than me. She owned a hot dog stand when I was eighteen, for crying out loud. But—that could mean anything! You can own a hot dog stand at nineteen, and, looking at her right now, she didn’t look that much older than me. But I probably wouldn’t end up asking. I’m not that kinda guy. Though, I figured I’d tell her what I thought. About that first thing. “Hey, Tracy?” “Yeah, Anon?” She asked, looking at me… dreamily? Was I imagining that right? I began to blush at the thought. “Uh, thanks. Is all. I appreciate you chatting with me. You’ve made me feel a lot better,” I laughed. But then I realized something. “And what was that you said earlier? I came in past closing?” I asked, remembering at that moment what exactly she said. I looked back to the front door incredulously, and noticed that, yeah, the sign was turned around. I wandered in here past closing. “Shit..” I muttered to myself, before turning back to her. “But, yeah. Thank you. You’ve done a lot for me.” I gave her a smile. “Well, it’s no problem at all, Anon.” She gave a sweet smile back. “Tell you what. How about I go reheat that dog, and me and you can keep talking until you feel you’re ready to get out of here.” She offered. Part of me knew she was asking me to stay, and frankly (haha), I didn’t really have an issue with such a thing. So I found myself shrugging. “If you wouldn’t mind, I think that sounds great.” She nodded, rubbed my hand one last time, and stood. She grabbed the plate my chili dog was on and turned to face me as she walked off. “I’ll be back out here right quick. Don’t you go dyin’ on me!” She exclaimed, giving a laugh. I laughed to myself as well, choosing to ignore how real that joke was. She was just referencing some 90s movie. She didn’t mean to make a joke about my sad fuggin’ life. But, true to her word, she was back out right quick. It only took her around a minute or so. The hot dog had some steam coming off of it, which looked highly appetizing now. I guess crying made you hungry. And, wait. Wait a second. Wait a minute. Wait a FULL MINUTE! She had something else. Is that..? “Hope you don’t mind, usually on days like this I like to pop open a glass.” Tracy muttered, sitting back down across from me. She put the plate on the table, and then set out two wine glasses, removing the cork from the wine bottle she brought and pouring out even portions into both. Honestly, I was pretty damn impressed that she had carried all of that out here. There was a lot of shit in her hands. “It’s a Merlot, my favorite. I hope you like it.” I had never dranken wine, but whatever. It was being offered. Who am I to refuse? “Thanks, Tracy. It looks good.” I smiled, and took a sip of the wine. Strong flavor, but it felt nice going down. Wine was much better tasting than whisky, I’ll be real about that. I often found myself drinking that shit these days, and every time, it sucked. Maybe I should try mixing it with angry orchard or something. Either way, forgetting the alcohol, it was now time for the main attraction… The dawg. …Best. Hot dog. Ever. The fucking EXPLOSION of flavor in my mouth, even though it had been reheated, was absolutely goddamn NUTS. The chili complimented the hot dog perfectly, and the bun being just a little bit soggy somehow made it all better. I don’t know how she did it, but even at what can be considered her worst, she still made the best hot dog I’d ever eaten. I could barely hold myself back as I began to gorge myself on it. Holy shit, that’s good. “Glad you like it, hun. Family recipe.” Tracy smiled, taking a sip of her wine. Ah, I muttered again. Fuck it who cares. “This is amazing Tracy. Oh my God.” I exclaimed, my mouth full of chili and hot dog. I probably looked like a pig but goddamn, it was so good. “Careful, sweetie. Don’t choke.” She laughed. I found myself chuckling too, but I really did try and slow down. She was right. I could’ve choked. …Around a minute or so later, the plate was practically licked clean, the only evidence of there ever being food on it being just a couple stains here and there. That’s how fucking good that hot dog was. “Man, that hit the spot.” I chuckled, and put my hand to my stomach. It was an involuntary thing. Made me feel like a cartoon character, though. “Good. You got some food in your belly, finally. Hopefully that’ll make you feel better.” She smiled. “Oh, it should.” I nodded. “Especially because I get to talk with you over it.” A faint pink dusted her cheeks. To somewhat deflect, she asked a dangerous question. “More wine?” ——$&—— “Okay okay—“ Tracy laughed, her words slurred yet still intelligible. “Never have I ever… gotten in a fist fight.” I took a drink, and shook my head. “That’s not fair,” I chuckled, my words slurring, just as bad as Tracy’s were. “You knew I was in the Navy.” “Yeah, you were—wait, what?!” Tracy yelled, completely shell-shocked. “You were in the—ooohh my God it makes so much sense now…” she whispered, holding her head in her hands. But then she giggled. “Your arms are so beefy! Way beefier than I remember…” She whispered in awe, grabbing my left arm. It was pretty beefy. Covered by the jacket, but still very clearly beefy. I could probably crush a skull with my bare hands. “Well, yeah.” I shrugged, forgetting my thoughts about crushing skulls. “Service does that to you.” I explained, and took a sip of beer. We had progressed past the wine and just started drinking whatever beer Tracy had in her fridge. It was nice to take the edge off. But drinking it just then was dumb. “Argh, I don’t know why I took another drink.” I complained. We’re supposed to be playing a drinking game. Tracy just laughed at that. I shook my head, and came up with my own thing. “Never have I ever… worked minimum wage.” Tracy took a sip, and I laughed. She turned a little red. “Hey! That’s not fair. Most people have worked minimum wage.” “Now you know how I feel.” I giggled. She kicked me under the table for that one. “Alright.” Tracy said, and cracked her knuckles. “Never have I ever dated a human.” I didn’t move from my position, instead choosing to look at her smugly. “No way.” She scoffed. “No goddamn way. I know you were with that pterodactyl girl, but seriously? No girlfriend before her?” She asked incredulously. I just shook my head. Thinking about Fang didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to. And neither did thinking about my failure of a love life. “Wow. Huh… well I’ll be damned. Someone as handsome as you, and you got your first girlfriend when you were eighteen?” My face flushed at that. The alcohol had already given me one, but that comment just amplified it. “Psh—I’m not—I’m not handsome.” I denied, looking away nervously and giving a laugh. “What?!” Tracy yelled, leaning back in her seat. “As if! You’re one of the cutest humans I’ve ever seen.” She teased. I’m sure she was trying to be sultry, but it just came off as weirdly genuine. She was definitely trying to mess with me, though. Well, two can play at that game. “Yeah? Well you’re not exactly ugly yourself, lady. If I didn’t know you I’d PROBABLY be drooling at the prospect of you sitting with me.” I laughed when she turned bright red. “H-Hey! It’s not nice to tease an old lady like me. Only I can do that.” She huffed and looked away, like she was a tsundere or something. It was honestly pretty cute. “Stop calling me cute!” She said the thing. Oh my God, she said the thing. “Well then stop acting cute.” I replied, like a total idiot. I was on a total roll. We were having such a good time. And that’s what I came up with. ‘Stop acting cute’ was my genius comeback. …Honestly. Stop acting cute. Fuckin’ Rizzton Churchill over here… “No, YOU stop acting cute.” She said, which made me feel INSTANTLY better about my shitty comeback. “Look at what you’re doing to me,” she slurred, interrupting my thoughts. She just laughed and waved a hand at her face. “No guy has ever made me blush this much before, let alone a skinnie. Quit it.” She frowned, pretending to be upset. “I will, I will.” I said, feigning surrender. What I was really doing was pulling out the big guns. “Good.” Tracy said, closing her eyes. She took a sip of beer, and I took my chances. “If you stop pretending to be old. What are you, like, twenty-five?” I snorted. That did it. Her face turned a red color I had never seen before; a color I didn’t know was possible on the body. Dino or human. She began to stutter as she pointed a finger at me. “Q-I-I said to quit it! I am old!” She growled. “Yeah? Try me.” I said. She couldn’t be that old. Maybe I was that kinda guy… “I’m thirty-eight, Anon. That’s way too old for your, what, twenty-two year old-ass?” She scoffed, but giggled all the same. “One, you’re not too old for me.” I chuckled. “Any age, I’m sure you’d look pretty. And two, I’m twenty-three.” I clarified, pointing a finger with the hand I held the beer in. I took a sip afterwards. “Oh yeah. Big difference.” Tracy snorted, rolling her eyes. After that interaction, though, we both had become silent. Neither of us really knew what to say past that point. The empty ambience of the restaurant was being filtered out by the music playing from Tracy’s stereo, but it still felt quiet. At least, until Tracy spoke up again. She was still blushing, I noted. But she looked like she was deeply considering something. “Do you…” she asked, and sighed. “Do you really not think I’m old?” Uh oh, Defcon 3. This is an important question coming from an older woman. Let’s see how I spill my spaghetti this time. “Of course not.” I said, shaking my head. “I really couldn’t tell you were thirty-eight. You look really good for your age.” I complimented, giving a nod of my head. Yet I still found myself blushing. It was embarrassing to compliment girls. Tracy leaned in closer to me. I could smell the alcohol on her breath; though I’m sure I wasn’t much better. “Are you being serious with me right now, Anon? You think I look good?” She asked. Her voice remained slurred, but she seemed quite serious. “Y-Yeah, I’m serious. You look really pretty, Tracy.” I admitted. The spaghetti was… contained? I didn’t know what I was doing, but I… somewhat.. liked the direction it was headed in. Though, after I said that, Tracy leaned in even more. …And then she gave me a peck on the lips. Which quickly turned into us kissing. “Oh my God, Anon,” I remember her whispering in-between our kisses. I don’t think I said anything, though. But this kissing quickly devolved into us… french-kissing. Which.. quickly devolved into us grabbing each other as we stood up. Which devolved into us entering Tracy’s attached house. …which devolved into me throwing Tracy on her bed.. Which ended up with me getting on top of her. ——$&—— …I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. Due to this, my first thought was, ‘oh shit, I drank myself sick again’ and while correct, that wasn’t the only problem I was facing. I was facing a multitude of other problems. Front-and-center being the girl I currently held in my arms. The orange sanjuanensis girl slept peacefully, her clothes completely discarded—her normal chef’s hat having been thrown to the side in favor of letting her short brown hair flow to her shoulders, and her skirt and apron being nowhere in sight. And despite how much I loved the image in front of me, and wanted to stay in bed with her forever, it quickly set in what kind of mistake I had made. “I…” I muttered. “I fucked Tracy.” Now, the evidence for this was quite clear. For one, I was naked and she was naked. Two, the room smelled sweaty. Three—did I mention the naked part? Yeah. She was naked. She had some rockin’ tits, to be— Wait, no, fuck—I’m such an idiot. What the fuck did I—what the fuck was I thinking? Why did I fuck Tracy? Who would fuck Tracy? What kind of mistake did I just make? Did we use a condom? She’s older than me, did, fuck—what is even happening? How will everyone feel about this? Can I even reveal this to anyone? What about… what about Fang? What about everybody? I barely knew Tracy. How would she feel about this? How would she feel… about me? Did I take advantage of her being drunk? No, I was drunk too. But does that excuse it? Where is the line drawn? Did SHE take advantage of ME? Because I’m younger? Argh. I held my head in my hands. God, it hurt so bad. I needed to stop thinking. It was doing me no good. But, eventually, I heard a voice next to me. It interrupted my thoughts, as usual. “You didn’t take advantage of me, Anon.” Tracy whispered. Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she had a smile on her face. Pretty. “I initiated, remember?” She chuckled. “O-Oh.” I stuttered, blushing somewhat at the memory. “I forgot.” “And, yeah, I’ll be honest, this is…” she sighed. “This is a little weird. I’m… I’m not normally one to throw myself at men like that. I don’t sleep around—ever. It’s just… it’s been so long since I…” She trailed off, blushing. “You get what I’m saying. But… I hope you don’t feel bad that..” Uh oh. Something was coming. Something… not good. I don’t know if I liked it. Was she going to reject me? Was she going to say she regretted what we did? I mean, I regretted what we did, but… I think hearing it from someone else would hurt a lot more. “Er—sorry,” She’s still talking. Fuck. “I mean, I don’t want us to…” she was having trouble formulating her words. Her head must’ve been killing her too. “I don’t want to just be fuckbuddies, you know? But I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship with you. I don’t know you that well.” She smiled softly, and rubbed a hand on my head. My lack of hair was something I remember her mentioning last night. Said it made me ‘look tough’ or something. Haha. “Which is why I feel so guilty about the sex. I barely know you, and now you probably think I’m… just some whore.” She sniffled. I reached my arms around her. The skin-to-skin contact was somewhat weird and felt sticky, but I think she needed the arms. “Hey, no. You’re not just some skank.” I shook my head. “But I—“ she started. But this time, I interrupted. “No. Tracy, you forget that I went along with everything that happened.” I chuckled. But then my tone went dark. “But, no. I get what you mean.” I sighed, and rolled over in her bed. I faced the ceiling as I began to speak. “I don’t really know you either. Neither of us know each other, and here we are, one of the most sacred things a couple can do already having been done. Where do we even go from here?” Tracy stayed silent after I said that. I guess I couldn’t blame her. I was kind of a weird guy sometimes. If she just never wanted to see me again, I wouldn’t— “I mean…” she spoke, interrupting my thoughts. “Would you… would you like to go eat something sometime?” She asked, her voice quiet. I’m pretty sure if I looked over at her, she’d be blushing. “What, like, at the restaurant?” I asked. Tracy’s dawgs. I wouldn’t mind eating another hot dog. Hot dogs are— “No, like… out.” She chuckled. “Somewhere.” “Like a date?” I asked, turning to face her again. She had a smile on her face. “Yeah. Like a date.” I contemplated my answer for a few seconds. I had a lot of options here—a lot of things I can do. A lot of mistakes I can make. But in the end, I like to think I made the right choice. I opened my mouth, and said one word. The ever-present smile on my face growing wider as I spoke. “Sure.” My choice was made. I picked Tracy. …Tracy. So accepting, so sweet, and… …So beautiful. [POST-NOTES] Thanks for reading. Not enough Tracy stuff on here, figured I’d add one to the ring. This was mostly written for a bud on the snoot game server, so I hope you enjoyed it, man. Thanks for reading guys!