Title: Glory of Love Status: Complete Characters: Anon, Fang, Naser, Ripley Rating: NSFW Classification: One-Shot Author: PumpkinBrain Summary: Anon is visiting Fang after being away at college for a while. Fang can’t wait, and spends some time planning stuff for them. She’s even got a nice present for him! But… then she receives a text. ‘This page needs a hero!’ The distorted audio played through my phone’s cheap speakers, and a giggle escaped from my beak. I scrolled away as I continued to chuckle. God… what a dumb video. I can’t believe he would send me that. For some context, I was lying in bed, reading over me and Anon’s conversation from a few nights ago. He had sent me this gross video in response to something silly I had said—yet, despite how gross it was, I couldn’t help but laugh at it. This is what we call, er, laughing at the insanity of something? It’s along the lines of ‘morbid curiosity’, where you do something but you’re not really sure why… Other than that, though, we did have a real discussion. Mostly about how he was… drum roll… going to be visiting me today! Haha. Yup, it’s true. My knight in shining armor was going to be paying me a visit after… gosh, months? Has it been months since I’ve seen that dork? He’s been away at college an awful long time. He’s working hard, though. My little weenis is learning sound design, because, in his words, ‘I want to be the douche that helps set up all the band’s equipment but doesn’t actually play’. For… some reason. I don’t know. Just as long as he’s having fun, and enjoying what he’s doing, I can’t judge him. He’s pursuing a career in something he seems to enjoy. And he’s damn adorable when he goes on and on about sound stuff. I always ask him what he learned during our time apart, and he never fails to draw me in with how complicated things can get. So truthfully, I would be the worst girlfriend in the world if I judged his passion. Speaking of judging, though… “Lucy? Are you awake?” Oh, God. Ugh. “It’s 11 AM! You should be awake by now!” I heard Rip yell from downstairs. When I heard rumbly and heavy steps, I sighed to myself. “A proper working man is awake by 9 AM sharp! Every day!” Bullshit. Not even Naser was awake by 9 AM every day. Hell, the guy yelling at me wasn’t ever awake that early! What high horse is he on?! I groaned, and threw the covers off my body, exposing my naked form to the cold air of my room. And no, you perv, I wasn’t naked for any specific reason. I just didn’t want to get dressed after my shower last night. I was tired and excited, which is like, a combination out of hell. Can you blame me? When my door was quickly flung open, I suddenly remembered why I locked it all the time. Because I wanted to avoid a scenario like this. “shIT!” Rip yelled, quickly shutting the door. “So—“ He then stopped. And that’s… when I knew. He had seen them. “L-Lucy. Lucy! Lucy Aaran!” He yelled, and pounded on the door. “Get clothes on, and open the door back up when you do! We are going to have a chat about PIERCINGS, YOUNG LADY!” He boomed. …God fucking damn it. He saw my belly button piercing. I figured I had been doing a good job hiding it, Rip seeming to accept ‘it’s getting colder’ as a valid excuse for wearing longer shirts. But no. I guess he was bound to find out eventually. I just wish it wasn’t… when I had my birthday suit on display. Fuckin’… I sat up, stood up, removed myself from bed, and stretched. After scratching my back and yawning, I bent down and grabbed a random outfit off the ground. A shirt that said ‘rape everyone and leave’ and some pajama pants…? Whatever, fuck it. It’ll do. …wait, no. God. I’m an idiot. I threw the shirt back down, and picked up a Green Day shirt instead. Phew. That’s better. That rape shirt was just a gag gift I got Anon for his birthday—apparently he had left it here. Oh well, I could always give it back to him. The meetup was planned to be at my house anyway. …Okay, maybe I should stop skimping out on so many details. How about I actually explain things. Anon’s been away for a long while—stuck studying at a far away college. I’m still in Volcaldera, also studying, but a different subject at a different college. Me and Anon have been long-distance on-and-off dating for around a year now, and it’s not too bad; we make occasional time to meet up with each other. This is one of those times. Given Anon’s old apartment has since been leased out, he’s been visiting me at my place. Which is why the meetup is happening here and now. Well, now now. Soon. Make sense? No? Good. Back to the current moment. I threw my door open, feeling grumbly already. And, of course, there stood Ripley Aaran—my lousy excuse of a father. By no means a bad man, but yeesh. Given he’s a police commissioner, I often quote Daniel Matthews in our arguments, one such quote being: ‘Trust me, you’re much better at being a cop than a father.’ Now, yeah, it’s harsh. Sure. But can you BLAME me? He’s always on my ass for the littlest, stupidest shit. It drives me bananas. All I have to do is walk past him on my way to get a glass of water and he’s asking what I’m up to. If I get a package, he needs to know what it is. If I’m going somewhere, he has to know where. Can’t he just leave me the fuck alone? “Lucy. I’m sure you know why I’m upset?” He asked, the question being sarcastic in nature. Guess that’s a no to my previous question. God, what a jackass. Oh, he’s still waiting. Wow. “Uh, yeah. I’m sure it’s such a big question.” “Tone.” He corrected. I had to resist rolling my eyes. “Lucy, I told you that—“ “I know, I know.” I interrupted. “No piercings while I live under your roof. I get it.” I snorted. I wasn’t taking this stupid shit seriously. He huffed. “If you GET IT, then why did you DO IT??” He growled. He was so close to blowing a fuse. I was pushing all of his buttons. I shrugged. “I didn’t think it was that bad, Rip. It’s a belly button.” I threw my arms out. “Is that SO weird? Is that SO offensive??” “DO NOT CALL ME RIP! And YES!!!” He screamed, spittle flying from his beak. I exaggeratedly wiped my face as he huffed. “LUCY! I am SICK and TIRED of you NEVER LISTENING TO ME!” He screamed, throwing his head up towards the heavens. He brought it back down shortly thereafter. “It’s like you don’t—it’s like you don’t GET IT. So let me explain something to you.” He pointed his finger at me. “I. Am. Your. Father. You are to listen to me. I do not CARE if you’re rebellious. I do not CARE if you’re just ‘experimenting’.” He did quotes with his fingers. “And I don’t CARE if it was NASER that told you to do it, or if it was that stupid boyfriend of your—“ “You leave Anon out of this.” I growled, interrupting him. “Anon is the best thing that ever happened to me. I won’t let you disrespect him.” He scoffed, and looked incredulous. “Wow? Lucy, my beloved daughter, giving me a lesson on RESPECT?” He laughed an exaggerated laugh. “Never thought I’d see the day!” A nerve bulged. “Zip it.” “You do not talk to your father that way.” He growled again, instantly cutting me off. “Take out the piercing. I won’t punish you right now, because I understand that you have plans with Anon today, and I don’t want to send that boy back home because you fucked up.” He lowered his voice. “I am giving you that leniency. But if you mess with me again today, it’s his blood on your hands.” If I MESS with him? What the fuck is he, a high school bully?? He’s my father, for Chrissakes! What the hell is wrong with this guy?? However, because I didn’t want to ‘mess with him’, I just had to sit back and take this. I huffed. “Fine. Thank you.” “You’re welcome, Lucy.” He nodded. “Now come on. I made breakfast.” He flicked his head towards the stairs. After a few seconds of silence, he turned, and began to walk in that direction. I was left in my bedroom, dumbfounded and angry. God. This was certainly a great start to the day. I slammed my door shortly after the interaction, and turned towards my open room. The posters surrounded me, making me feel suffocated. Agh. Normally I love this place, but every time I talk with Rip, he makes me feel like shit for being myself. What a dick. I looked down at my tummy, and pulled up my shirt. I slowly removed the naval piercing, wincing a bit, as the skin was still a little raw. But when that was done, I set the pieces on my dresser, and threw off the shirt I was wearing. Alright… what’s the plan for today? I need to… ask Naser for his car, go to skin row, get that thing, come back, turn on that Peter Cetera CD, look sexy, and give Anon the best ptero head of his life…. But, well, first—I need to get dressed in actual clothes. I can worry about those details later. <<<<<<<>>>>> By later, I meant in around fifteen minutes. First thing on the agenda, I needed the NasCar. “Hey, Naser.” I spoke with a gruff tone, my mood still being rather negative. But I figured I should dial it back. I need a favor from him, after all. “I got a question.” I said, my tone lighter. Naser turned his face away from the television, and looked into my eyes. He was always good with eye-contact. “What’s up?” He asked, his mouth full of sausage and pancake. Gross. “C-Can I borrow the NasCar?” I stuttered. God, that’s lame. You can’t blame me, though. I had successfully acquired my license recently, but I had done all of my practice in mom’s Mini Cooper. I hadn’t driven the NasCar yet—and the power difference between the two was astronomical. “I need to head over to Skin Row to buy a present for Anon.” Naser choked on his food. “Sk-Skin Row??” He asked, pounding his chest. “Agh, sorry. Just—what could possibly be in Skin Row?” “Don’t worry about it.” I looked down at the table, a blush appearing on my face. “It won’t take too long. It’s just one place, and I know where it’s at.” He looked considering. “Well… alright.” “Really??” I asked, my mood brightening. “Thank y—“ “Is what I would say, if the NasCar…” He trailed off, looking embarrassed himself. “…worked.” …I raised an eyebrow. “Wh—, excuse me?” “…yeah.” He inhaled through his teeth. “NasCar’s fucked. Transmission blew out last week, so it’s been in the shop for a while now. I-I’m surprised you didn’t notice.” “Well I mean.” I looked at my lap. “It’s… not exactly my car.” “Highly true.” He chuckled. “Why don’t you just ask dad to borrow his truck?” Memories of our argument earlier flashed through my head, along with all of the possible universes in which I ask Rip to borrow his car. Me being shot, hit with a nine iron, yelled at again, and God forbid getting the car and CRASHING IT? I’d ruin his life. That truck is all he has. He cares more about that thing than he cares about us. “…not an option.” I moved my fork across my plate, and took a jab at a piece of flapjack. “I’ll ride my bike.” I sighed. “Pfft—“ He laughed. “You have a bike? Since when?” “Since your fucking mom.” I snapped, pointing my fork at him. “I have a bike. It doesn’t fit me, and it used to be pink, but it’s a bike.” “Oh my God, it’s pink?!” He asked, throwing his head back in laughter. “Lucy! How long has it been since you’ve ridden that thing??” “Sh-Shut up! I said it USED to be!” I snapped, but more out of embarrassment than anything. “And it’s been a while, but it’s not like I’ve grown a lot since middle school!” “MIDDLE SCHOOL?!” He roared. “SHUT UUUUUUPPPP!!!!” “LUCY! NASER! SHUT IT!! So… yeah. After borrowing (stealing) one of Naser’s knives as a ‘fuck you’, I ended up riding my bike to Skin Row. It honestly wasn’t that bad to get the exercise in—even though I was totally winded the entire time—and the ride itself wasn’t too long. It was only a few miles, which the bike ended up making quick work of. It may not be a good bike, given I had to pedal standing up, but hey, if it ain’t broke. I… wish it was broke. I’ve had the damn thing since I was thirteen years old—I remember on my seventeenth birthday I spray painted it black. It barely fits me, and the gears are all rusty from being left alone in a damp garage all this time. But whatever. When I arrived where I needed to be, I got off the bike and pulled out the bike lock I had packed. I looped said lock around the stem of the handle bar, gave it a tug to make sure it worked, and nodded. I had successfully chained it to a nearby pole. Removing my helmet next, I shoved that in my backpack along with the key for the bike lock. After all of that nonsense, I was locked and loaded. I walked up to the cheap glass doors and opened that bitch up. A bell dinged, signifying my entrance. Very shortly after, a stout man with a blue baseball cap walked out of the back room. “Ah, hello!” He said, giving me a bright smile. His mustache made it hard to see, but I could tell it was there. “You must be Lucy.” “How can you tell?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and walking closer to him. Wasn’t sarcasm at all, I really just wanted to know. “Not a lot of pterodactyls around these parts. You stick out like a sore thumb, toots.” He snickered. …that didn’t explain how he knew—oh whatever. “Uh, alright, sure.” I coughed. “A-Anyway, are you Mr. Nordock?” “That’s me!” The man said, giving a proper nod. “I take it you’re here for your bracelet?” I nodded. “Yup. Is it done?” “I wouldn’t have emailed you if it wasn’t.” He chuckled. I laughed awkwardly in response, not exactly sure what to say. He took the hint, though. “Lemme go grab it. Gimme just a moment, now.” I nodded as I watched him walk into the back room of the store. It was a very small shop—being no bigger than my living room, to tell the truth. Must’ve been a side effect of living in Skin Row, because I don’t think I saw a building any bigger than this one on the way over. It’s a city of very small buildings. There was a lot of beautiful jewelry in here, though, despite all of that. Which… shocked me. I guess the people of this community just respected Mr. Nordock too much to steal from him. Either that, or they’re too dumb to figure out what this store actually is. Because it was… kind of dilapidated on the outside. The interior is fine, all the displays having beautifully cleaned glass and perfect cushions for various rings and jewelry pieces—it just seemed to be the outside that had less care put into it. Bad business model, but I’m sure the owner does fine. “Alright, here we are, girly.” Troy spoke, walking back into the actual store area. “One bracelet, black band with citrine gem. The male version of that necklace you’re wearin’. Special ordered with an engraving, the bracelet being for one…” He opened the case, and inspected the contents. “‘Dweeb’?” “That’s the one.” I nodded, chuckling softly at my engraving. I was honestly quite nervous about it—hopefully, Anon liked it. Hopefully my dweeb liked it. “Perfecto!” He beamed, throwing his arms out. He brought it back in, and then nodded towards a register. “I can take you over here.” We began the process of purchasing the bracelet, and I had to resist going ‘DAMN!’ when he spoke about the price. Despite being in Skin Row, this was by no means a cheap place to buy jewelry. The only reason I ended up going here is because it’s where Anon got my necklace. How did I find that out, well, it took some… ‘convincing’; ———— me: ill show u my boobs if u tell me where u got my necklace dork: on god? ———— But he eventually gave up the info. And with said info, I was able to put in a special order, and after a few days… here we are. “That’ll be 326.28.” The sleazy man spoke, leaning over the counter, as if he were a prostitute trying to show me his goods. It would be enticing if he weren’t a 5’9 bald human. Well, wait. Bad example. That’s literally exactly what my boyfriend is. It would be enticing if he weren’t a 5’9, bald, dorky— Oh fuck it. Whatever. I wasn’t attracted to him. Happy? Back to the point, I winced as I pulled my purse from my backpack. I sure hope Anon appreciates this… “Don’t worry, girly.” Mr. Nordock interrupted my thoughts. “This is half the price of what he spent on that necklace. This is a worthwhile purchase—he would love it. Because he really does love you.” My mouth dropped. Ignoring the obvious sales pitch he was doing… half? 300 is HALF?? I looked down at my necklace. This necklace was worth 600 dollars…? “What the fuck…?” “Yeah. So be sure, whatever you get him, he can’t possibly dislike it.” …I smiled. He was right. Anon’s gonna be so happy when he sees this… … After paying for the necklace, I nodded goodbye, and turned around to leave the place. I opened up the small plastic bag as I did, pushing against the door handle as I stared at the goods. A little velvet case sat in the confines of the bag, wrapped up in a receipt. I reached in and removed said piece of paper, shoving it into my back pocket as I looked to my left. Anon didn’t have to see that… ahem. I then put the bag in my purse, put the purse in my backpack, and looked back up. Time to go get my bike. I walked up to where I thought I had locked it, only to not see it. Huh, weird. I must’ve parked it a little down the way. Only problem, though… this was the only pole within sight. Every other pole was either completely uprooted or just didn’t exist. This was the only place I could’ve locked up my bike—and it wasn’t here. So… where the hell did it go? As I looked around fruitlessly, I noticed something black on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, and gasped when I realized what it was. …it was my bike lock. Someone had stolen my bike. My eyes darted around upon realizing this, my body and mind desperately looking for my only way out of this shithole. But no matter where I turned, it wasn’t anywhere in sight. I saw buildings, destroyed bikes, old cars, homeless people—but none of that was my BIKE. I whimpered. Fuck. I’m gonna have to walk home, aren’t I? I would try calling an Uber, but I don’t have the app installed, and there’s no such thing as ‘service’ in this part of town. God damn it… fuck! I clenched my eyes closed, and put my hands to my forehead. Urrrrrgh… fuck! God damn it! Fuck. Motherfucking skin row. Piece of… I sighed. Alright… guess I’ve got a bit of a walk ahead of me. Motherfucking skin row… <<<<<<>>>>> Motherfucking skin row. As I walked, my legs absolutely killing me—turns out doing a bike ride and then walking a few miles does a little damage on the limbs—I could only do one thing, which was stare directly at the ground. Had I looked up, I would’ve made eye contact with several homeless people, and then it would’ve led into me gotten sold into Armenian slavery. Or something like that. So… yeah. I stuck my snoot towards the ground and trudged on. Well, I say trudged, but I meant more… stomped. I was fucking pissed, and I had remained pissed for the entirety of the walk. I’m pretty sure I didn’t get messed with because nobody wanted to deal with an angry, teenage, goth pterodactyl. And I wouldn’t blame them. Haha. However, as I walked, my head still pointed directly at the concrete below me—something caught my eye. A small dime bag, full of white powder. Said bag caused me to instantaneously stop walking. What—wha, the fuck? Huh? I knew what that was. Well, what it could be. A dime bag, in skin row, full of white powder? Why, marijuana, of course. …no. That’s a joke. I’m not stupid—it’s fucking coke. That’s a bag of coke on the ground. …do I… what do I do? Do I ignore it? No, probably not. I should probably call the police and report it. Say ‘hey, I found a bag of coke in skin row, on this street.’ That’s what I should do. Is what I would say… if I had service. So, obviously, reporting it isn’t a good option here. Which… only leaves one other option. I bent down, and pocketed the small bag. It went into the same pocket I kept Naser’s knife in. —hopefully I don’t have any K-9s sniffing my ass later. This would be very hard to explain. And, well, I hope I don’t have Rip sniffing my ass later either. I plan to show it to him and get him to take it in to the station, but if he finds it before I explain it to him, then I’m just fucked. So that has to be the first thing I do when I get home. I can’t possibly forget. Shaking my head, I continued angrily walking home. My fucking bike… I can’t believe someone stole my goddamn bike. Who steals a bike? Especially when it’s chained up? How do you even do that? The lock wasn’t broken, so clearly whoever stole it was able to just take the bike out of the lock. How the hell did they even manage that? These thoughts continued all the way up until I arrived back home. It was around a four mile walk, so by the time I got home, I was surprisingly still mad. In my still-fuming anger, I slammed the door upon arriving home. “LUCY, GOD DAMN IT!” Ripley yelled from upstairs. “THIS HOUSE WAS QUIET!!” I recoiled. Excuse me? Who… what-?? “h-HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW IT WAS ME?!” I yelled back, tossing my backpack off me. I unzipped it, removed my purse, and then threw the bag to the couch. “YOU JUST WANT TO BE MAD AT ME!” “I DON’T! YOU JUST LOVE TO PUSH MY BUTTONS!” He growled, stomping his fat ass down the steps, yelling about pushing buttons. Something I had said earlier. “FUCK YOU!! TODAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NICE, YOU ASS!” I screamed, my voice going hoarse. “Anon’s visiting later!” “I don’t care! What was it that I told you about my buttons earlier??” He yelled, pointing a finger at me. “I do not care. Anon is on his way here, he’s not turning around.” I huffed. “When he gets here, you are to respect him. So do me a favor… be a good person for once. Give me a reason to respect you.” I flipped him off, and pushed past him as I walked up the steps. I heard him attempt to stutter out a response, but I didn’t wanna listen. God fucking damn it—I can’t do shit in this house. No matter where I turn, it’s constant yelling, constant berating, constant hatred from Ripley. He wants to be mad at me. He wants to hate me. He has his favorite child—it’s just not me. I growled to myself as I threw open my bedroom door, and slammed it behind me. Fuck him. Who does he think he is? My boyfriend is coming to see me, coming to visit our house, and he knows this. I told him this days ago. Yet he picks today, of all days, to have it out for me. Like he’s on his fucking period or something. What a prick! I stomped around my room, absolutely fuming. I ended up slamming the play button on that Peter Cetera CD in hopes of relaxing myself, but it didn’t work. Ugh. God damn it. When does Anon get here? He’d know how to calm me down. Still angry, I pulled out my phone, watching as a flood of notifications showed up. Now that I finally had service, my phone was catching up to itself. Some notifications from news, calendar, texts, discord, Instagram—all of the usual suspects. The texts were from Anon, though, so I smiled as I opened them up. …only to be hit with a wall of text. “Huh?” I spoke out-loud as I scrolled to the top of his message. This was… long-winded. Very out-of-character for someone like him, who usually kept his messages short and sweet. Key word sweet, because he could be a super romantic dork over texts. Something about being in-person made him all nervous… ahhhhh!! He was so cute. Now, to read this message. ‘Lucy.’ Uh oh. Wait, that’s not good. He barely ever calls me Lucy. Everything in my head just shifted. Did I do something? Did I fuck something up? My eyes darted back and forth from the word to the text itself as I continued reading. ‘…hey. Sorry to come in here with a wall of text, but… we need to talk.’ Oh no… ‘I need to apologize. Because I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, Lucy. So bad that I don’t know if you could ever possibly forgive me, but… but I still have to say it. I can’t live with the guilt anymore.’ I told myself that no matter what, I could forgive him. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be that bad, right? ‘To… explain, hopefully, I… I met a girl. Her name was Sage, and I met her at a party that someone had thrown. She was dorky, awkward, and kinda clung to a corner. I saw a lot of myself in her, and ended up chatting it up with her for the rest of the night. Well, I… also saw her at another party. This time, she was more into it. She was drinking. And so was I. We discussed a lot, about how I helped her come out of her shell, and how she didn’t know how to repay me. Well, we were both drunk. And so… she kissed me. We… it… it got deeper than that. We ended up having sex in one of the bedrooms of this person’s house. In my head I kept justifying it to myself, how you would never find out, how this was just some silly fling, how everyone in college does it. But when I woke up, fuck… Lucy, I felt so bad. I still feel bad. I’ve since deleted Sage’s number from my phone, and I dodge her in classes. But… here comes my terms. Here are what I have to do. Lucy, I… i cant.. I cant in good conscience… date you. Not anymore. Even if you forgive me, I… I can’t forgive myself. I’m going to be moving schools eventually. But for now, I… I just. I’m not visiting. I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m… I’m not coming home.’ … My phone fell from my hands. Shattering on impact, the phone made the same sound as the most vital organ in my body. I could practically hear the breathing slow. I could hear everything. Nothing in my room, nothing in the real world, but every organ in my body… I could hear them churn. This… This had to be a joke. This had to be some sick prank. But… no matter how many times I went over it in my head, I couldn’t deny that it could be true. Anon had been away for a while, and when I do talk to him these days, he’s… avoiding. He’s defensive. Doesn’t say ‘I love you’ as much as he used to. But I just… I just figured he was tired. Tired from work, tired from college. I didn’t… I didn’t expect… A lone tear fell down my face. And then… another. And another. And before long, I was bawling. “A-Anooon…” I cried, holding my chest. “Aahahahahanon…” I whimpered, falling to my knees. “You… fuck—“ I choked, the tears not stopping. I wiped fruitlessly at my eyes—to no avail. The tears continued to fall, and I found that all of my energy had drained away completely. I couldn’t… I wasn’t angry. I couldn’t be angry anymore. The only thing I felt was complete and utter hopelessness. “ANON!!!” I screamed, the music playing from my stereo feeling droning. The room around me felt like it was falling away. Everything just… everything hurt so bad. I didn’t feel anything other than pain. There’s no way it ends like this. It can’t. And yet… That’s how it went. I pulled the bag out of my purse, and then pulled out the velvet case. Through bleary eyes I opened it up. A black bracelet sat inside, the engraving practically laughing at me. I grabbed it, and… I cried. I held it to my chest before I… before I dropped it. I let it fall to the floor. I couldn’t… I couldn’t hold it for too long. It burned. I clutched at my arms, and began to scratch at them. I wanted to bleed. I wanted to hurt. I wanted to make the pain go away. But no matter how much I scratched, I couldn’t feel anything. I could feel blood flowing through my palms, the thick liquid a reminder of my failure—but nothing was stopping. The tears continued to flow, my organs continued to churn, my heart continued to ache. I reached for my wings. I used to tell myself that this wouldn’t work, that… that Anon would be disappointed. But it’s… it’s not like he’s gonna know. It’s not like he’s gonna care. God knows he’s probably just… probably just fucking that Sage chick… not caring about Lucy… I cried, and grabbed a handful of feathers. Tearing them out violently, I hoped and prayed that the adrenaline would kick in. That I would ride my high and calm down. But as more blood splattered on my carpet, and my heart still ached, I found myself crying out again. It wasn’t working. Why wasn’t it working? Why wasn’t any of this… working? What else could I DO? What other options did I have? I choked back more tears. I felt like vomiting. I couldn’t believe this had happened—but the room just continued to spin. The stench of blood was making my nostrils burn, but I didn’t care. I needed more blood. More pain. Any pain. Anything I could FEEL! So, I… went for the only other thing I could think of. Naser’s knife. I flipped it open, and pressed the cold metal against my shoulder. One quick swipe later, and more of the crimson liquid poured from me. Another quick swipe, and I flinched. I… had felt that. But not… it… …it didn’t work. I sliced more. I sliced again. I cut my shoulder, and I cut my other shoulder. Three even slashes—nothing. None of it. The adrenaline wasn’t kicking in. “FUCK!!!” I screamed, and threw the knife at my wall. I knocked down a poster—but I didn’t care. I never cared. I couldn’t possibly care about ANYTHING! My dork was gone. My dweeb was gone. I clutched at my chest. I couldn’t… how could I.. I reached for the bracelet. It… it didn’t hurt anymore. But in reaching for it, I saw something else. … The bag. It… it had fallen out of my pocket. I can see it, right there on the ground. It’s right there, it’s untouched, it’s… clean. And… it’s.. known for giving someone adrenaline. I practically leaped from my spot on the floor, going for the dime bag. I would’ve never considered doing this in a million years—but I needed something. I needed something, anything—just to make the hurt go away. Even if it probably wouldn’t, even if I would just be stuck with a coke habit, I didn’t care. Besides, Ripley’s daughter? The daughter of a police commissioner? They have a coke habit? Hilarious. Pouring out the white powder onto a small coffee table, I used my fingernails to make two even lines. I breathed heavily. Every orifice on my body had blood leaking from it—but whatever. I didn’t care. It didn’t do anything for me anyway. So… Here goes nothing. I leaned down, and swiped my beak across the first line, snorting all of it into my body. I felt it as it entered my nose, burning on its way in. It was probably instantaneously absorbed into my blood stream. But. I… I couldn’t feel anything. My heart still ached. My shoulders and wings had no pain. And… worst of all.. The song. Our song. It had come on. ‘Tonight is very clear…’ ‘As we’re both lying here…’ ‘There’s so many things,’ ‘I wanna say…’ My heart burned. Everything burned. My face felt hot. ‘I will always love you…’ ‘I would never leave you alone…’ No. No… My… my knight in shining armor… Why… why do you… Why would you hurt me like this? Why would you do this to me? What happened to… What happened to forever and ever? I looked back down at the table. It was enticing. I needed the adrenaline. I needed the blood flow. I need everything, I needed something. I needed to leave it behind. I had to save myself. …I needed to forget. Putting my nose to the second line, I took a deep breath in through my mouth. Haah… …And then I swiped my nose. Almost instantly, I saw stars. Something was… wrong. The room around me began to turn, and I fell onto my backside. I quickly scooched up against my wall—and I looked around erratically as the walls began to spin. As my nose began to bleed, I realized what was going to happen. … “…I’m..” I swallowed. “…I’m gonna die here…” I choked. ‘I have always needed you…’ ‘I could never make it alone…’ You… fucker… ‘I am a man… who will fight for your honor.’ ‘I’ll be the hero… you’ve been dreaming of.’ No… none of it’s true. It’s all a lie. Anon never loved me. Nobody ever did. My vision began to fade. Everything hurt. Everything burned. I finally felt my pain, but I didn’t feel any relief. My hearing was beginning to muffle. ‘Just like a knight in shining armor…’ … I can’t move. … Everything is so quiet. … Knock. Wh-huh? I cracked my eyes open. Someone’s… someone knocked on my door. ‘I am a man… who will fight for your honor.’ “Hey, Lucy?” Someone spoke. It… it was hard to make out. With both the music playing, and everything feeling like I was being dragged through mud, I could barely hear it. But… I recognized it. “Can I come in?” …Ripley. I reached my arm out. I tried to shout, yes, come in. Help me. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want “I’ll… take that as a no.” He said, and sighed heavily. No. ‘Gonna live forever…’ please. don’t leave me here. “Look, I… I just wanted to say sorry. For… for earlier. You were right—I was just looking for reasons to be angry at you. And… I shouldn’t be doing that. I’m your dad, I’m not your boss. I’m… I’m supposed to support you. I’m supposed to love you.” He chuckled darkly. “But… I haven’t been doing that. I haven’t been doing a very good job. So…” Please. “You can wear that piercing. I’m gonna leave you and Anon alone for a few hours, and just… go off on my own, okay?” … “I love you.” … dad. … “Alright. I understand. You… you don’t have to say it back.” He coughed. “I’ll… I’ll see you.” … im so sorry. … As he left, i… felt everything fading. It was over. my eyelids felt heavy. the world around me felt damning. dad. dad… im sorry. im so sorry i failed you. As my vision began to turn white, I could only hear one thing. … ‘We’ll live forever…’ ‘Knowing together…’ ‘That we… did it all,’ a single tear fell, one last time. as i choked on my own blood, there was only one thought running through my mind. one name. anon… The bracelet fell from my grip. ‘For the glory of love.’ … …i forgive you. [POST-NOTES] fuck.