Title: Bird Brain Status: Complete Characters: Anon, Fang, Naser, Ripley Rating: SFW Classification: One-Shot Author: Deeghado Summary: Naser checks up on Fang when she visits Anon. “NASER GORDON ARAN, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!!!” I snapped awake when I heard my Dad yell to me from downstairs: full name and everything. I got up and lazily went downstairs to see my Dad giving me the evil eye. “Good morning son…” He leaned into the coffee table as he gazed into my soul. “Notice anything?” I looked around. Everything was normal. “Uh, no?” Dad's scowl furrowed further. “I mean, did you get a haircut or–” “Don’t play dumb with me, son!” He stood up straight. “You know where Lucy is! Don’t you!?” Is that what this is about? “Dad, Fang–” “Lucy…” He angrily corrected me. I sighed. “ Lucy… Is at Anon’s place. Look, she is almost 19, Dad. Lucy can legally do what she wants now.” “Unfortunately…” He muttered. Dad grunted as he went for another cup of coffee (Fourth, maybe?) “Well, could you at least be a good brother and check on her? Skin Row isn’t the safest place in town.” “Why don’t you?” He turned to me, “Because I have to go in today. Also, I don’t know where Anon lives. But once I do–” “Whoa, Dad!” I interjected, “Don’t kill F– Lucy’s boyfriend over a visit.” Dad sighed. “You and I both know she visited him at night. Your job is to make sure she’s fine. I’ll handle Anon if he did anything else to her.” He pointed a claw at me, “I expect a report at 2000 hours, young man. Or Lucy.” I sighed, fucking military time. “Yes sir…” I went back upstairs into my room to put my regular clothes on. Lucy, or Fang… or whatever you want to call yourself these days. Please, for the love of sweet raptor Jesus, don’t tell me you did something stupid. I really don’t want Dad’s case on me for the foreseeable future. I went back downstairs to see Dad already left for work. Maybe I could just call Fang and– My phone suddenly starts vibrating. I pulled it out to see it was a call from Anon. Even better… I accepted the call and put it up to my ear canal. “Naser?! You there, man!?” It was Anon, alright. Why does he sound panicked? “Yeah, it’s me, man, chill.” I felt a tinge of worry grow. Why was he panicked? “What's up?” “I– uh… It’s Fang! She– Oh dear god, she–. Look, just get here, man!” What!? “Anon? What happened to my Sister?!” His panicked breathing grew. “Naser, I swear, you won’t believe me if I told you. Just get here, man!” I heard fluttering on the other side. “Whoa, Fang! Relax, your brother is coming. Naser! Please, get here soon!” The call ended before I could say anything. Fuck, what did you do, you fucking Ape!!! I ran to the Nas-Car and started the engine. I peeled out of the driveway as fast as I could and floored it out of the street where my home resided. The tinge earlier became a full-blown reaction as I drove faster and faster. God-dammit, Anon. I will beat the shit out of you if anything happened to Fang. I made some near-dangerous turns before I entered Skinrow. Anon’s apartment is close. I drifted into the adjoining narrow street as I stopped in front of his apartment. I left the car with its door open. I didn’t care if the car itself was stolen. All that mattered was my Sister! I quickly ran up the stairs and down the hall. There’s his apartment. I attempted to open it. WHY WAS IT LOCKED!? ANON, YOU FUCKING APE!!! “Hey, Naser! Hang on lemme–” I had no time to waste. I stood back and kicked the door in. Except my foot never touched the door. My foot landed on Anon’s chest. “-Get the– OOF! ” Anon got kicked down. He grasped his chest while writhing on the floor. “Move, Anon!” I barged into his apartment as he struggled to get up. No one was inside. What? The bathroom door was open, and no one was in it either. Where’s Fang? Anon finally got up and braced himself in the doorway. “Anon, where is Fang?” “She-” Anon coughed as he recovered from his rib cage being kicked in. “She’s right there.” He pointed to his bed; under the covers was something small. It’s about the size of a basketball. If not slightly larger. Suddenly, it moved out from under the covers. Is… is that a chicken? “BOK!” it clucked. It wore a spiked collar that barely fit its neck. Was that Fang’s crest collar? Its feathers were white and by the looks of it. It’s a Hen. The chicken tilted its head at me. “Baw?” I turned to Anon, “Funny… Where’s Fang?” Anon’s face remained serious. “I hate to break it to you, but the chicken is Fang.” I can’t believe this. “Anon, I’m not dumb. There’s no way that chicken is Fang.” Anon sighed as he brought up a book and showed me it. Its title read, The Works Of The Dark Arts. “Fang wanted to do some of the rituals in this book. It would be fun! She said. Nothing bad will happen. She said!!! ” He rubbed the back of his head, “Naser, I really wish I was joking right now.” The chicken cautiously waddled to me. Tilting its head even more, “Bok?” There’s no way this animal is Fang! That can’t be! “Ok, Anon. Is there any way you can prove to me that this hen is Fang?” I chuckled nervously. “Because if you're lying, I will have to call Dad. And tell him that Fang is missing. With you being the prime suspect!” Anon began to look nervous. I can see his small ape brain frying itself. “Uhh… Oh!” He suddenly bolted to his fridge and pulled out a bag of dino nuggets from its freezer. Then he quickly put a few on a plate and slammed them into the microwave. The microwave came to life, spinning and nuking the frozen dino-shaped ground chicken within. The minutes passed by with Anon occasionally looking back at me. Is he stalling? Seriously! What is he doing cooking nuggets for a chicken!? They only eat seeds! The fucking nuke dinged, and Anon ripped out the nuggets and set them to the side. “Sorry, just letting them cool off.” “Anon, what are you doing?” Anon turned to me as he grabbed a bottle of sweet baby rays. “It’s Fang, Naser! She loves her nuggies!” “Look, I’m not going to question your intelligence. But the nuggets are made of chicken, right?” Anon nodded, “So wouldn’t that hurt Fang? Since, you know. She’s a chicken as well.” “No, chickens are omnivores. They can also eat meat!” Okay? “But she’s a chicken; they don’t eat their kind!” Anon looked like he was going to say something. But he stopped himself. “Well, Fang would eat it, though!” He almost seemed relieved as he said that. Anon then glazed the nuggets with the barbeque sauce. He then placed the plate down in front of the hen. The hen observed the nuggets; before snatching one and tearing it up. Holy shit… The hen cooed as it chowed down on the dino nuggets. It seemed to enjoy it. No way, is that chicken really my sister? “Fang?” The chicken turned to me, “Bok!!!” before she returned to its meal. My mouth was agape; Fang was a chicken. I never thought I would ever think of a scenario like this in my life! “Anon, how did… how did Fang end up like this?” Anon shrugged, “She wanted to try a random incantation. I think she wanted to become a werewolf or something.” He rubbed the back of his head, “I think she became a were-chicken instead.” I turned to him, “And you allowed her to do that!?” Anon flinched, “The both of us thought it wasn’t gonna happen, honestly!” I knelt in front of Fang. She finished eating her nuggets. Fang turned to me and cooed. “C- Can you change her back.” “I tried, man. I called you to see if you could help. But, I’m afraid it's terminal.” Terminal? No… I picked up Fang and held her close, she didn’t even resist. “Fang, it’s gonna be alright, big sis.” I felt my eyes start to sting from tears. “We’re gonna find a way to turn you back to normal. And if not–” I sniffled as a few tears fell. “We could build you a new place to live in. A coop. It won’t be cramped, and you will have your own place to live in too! Right in our backyard, it’ll have heating and all the hay you could nest in.” I began to sob. “You know I still love you, right?” I hugged Fang tightly. Her small body was warm and soft, and she felt so light. I heard the closet door open, but I couldn’t take my attention away from Fang, who might be going through a crisis right now. Don’t worry Fang, I will find a way to turn you back to your– “Uh… Naser?” A feminine and familiar voice graced my ears. Who was that? “Are you okay?” What? It can’t be! I turned my head to the voice– FANG!?!? She stood there with a worried look on her face. I froze, how, what? WHEN WHERE AND WHY!!! “I– uh– how— Fang!!! ” She isn’t a chicken! “Oh, my–” She covered her beak. “You really thought I was a chicken!” She began to laugh. I looked back at the chicken, who tilted its head again. “Baaww???” I really thought this hen was my sister. I- I feel like a fucking idiot. I put the chicken down. It hopped from me and waddled to the bed. Fang wrapped her arms around me, “Aww, don’t worry, Naser! I’ll still eat the nuggies you give me!” She chuckled. “Even if you have a bird brain.” “Who’s idea was It…” I croaked. Anon began to laugh, “It was Fang’s idea. We visited the new Rural Chief and bought a chicken. She wanted to gaslight you into believing she turned into a hen.” “Well, you got me… Hey Fang?” She let go of me and stood up, “Yes, Naser?” “When are you coming home? Dad’s been busting my ass about you running off with Anon.” Fang sat on Anon’s bed. “When I feel like it, I’m 18! Dad can’t legally tell me what to do.” Unfortunately. I guess Dad would have to settle with Fang staying with Anon a little longer. Oh, that reminds me! “Hey, what's with that dark arts book you have?” Anon sits on his bed, and Fang quickly scoots over to sit right beside him. “Stella gave it to me as a gift. I don’t know why she did. But it contained some interesting things!” “ Very interesting~ ” Fang spoke softly, biting her lip. Anon’s face turned into a tomato. “Dammit, Fang. In front of Naser!?” Anon whispered, I think? Why were they acting weird… Oh, fucking ew! “Welp! I’m off! Don’t spend too much time here, or Dad’ll kill me.” “Don’t worry, Naser! Just one more night~. ” Fang reached an arm around Anon. I didn’t stay longer than I had to. I left Anon’s room and went downstairs. Fuck, I really fell for that. I think I should take an IQ test whenever I can. Since I’m not exactly the brightest tool in the shed at the moment. I finally got outside and into my car. Luckily, nothing was missing or stolen. Even with the door open. I guess I gotta count my l– “Bok!” The fuck? I turned to my passenger seat to see the chicken in Anon’s room, in my car. You know what? Today was fucked anyways. I may as well bring the hen home. What’s it gonna do? Eat me?