[PRE-NOTES]
    The stupid shit continues.
    Just to help you keep track of things

    Ben - Gareth: Cleric - Dino
    Liz - Selia: Wizard - Dino
    Mia - Heydeth: Barbarian - Dino
    Damien - Ser Damien: Fighter - Human (For some fucking reason)
[/PRE-NOTES]

With a nice, refreshing can of Bepsi within reach and all the children finally quieting down, Inco took a deep breath.

 

It was time to begin.

 

Derron’s Field was a lively town. A farming village nestled at the foot of the Wind Whisper Mountains in the nation of Tiereth, it was situated in the perfect spot. Directly on the Trade Road, with the port city of Kyre’s Maw to the east, only three weeks travel away, and the capitol Kantor to the north-west at four weeks if you were going at a reasonable pace. Being nearly in the middle of these two major centres of commerce meant Derron’s Field always had people passing through: merchants and their guards, nobles, travelling entertainers, mercenaries, you name it. With the closest town in either direction being between five and eight days away, this quaint village was a major stop-off point for any group on their travels nearly all year, with things only slowing down in the Wintertime.

 

In Derron’s field, there are three inns, all sizable with at least three stories and each with red tiled roofs proudly displaying their wealth. There was the Queen’s Rose, the Lucky Archer, and the Boxing Bear. Each of them packed on this warm summer’s evening, with locals and travellers alike crowding tables with their mugs, laughing and joking, and sharing stories with newcomers. The room was filled with raucous merriment and the quiet exchange of half a dozen rumours, each more farfetched than the last, but each sworn under the Goddess’s name it was the truth. There were stories of orcs raiding villages in the far North of Theria, that in Tiereth a necromancer had arisen and was going town to town, raising the village’s dead in the black of night, and that off the coast of-

 

"Get on with it; this is boring!"

 

Inco glared at Mia, who sat next to him. "I’m enjoying the world building so far." Ben quickly injected, hoping to distract and deescalate with a nervous smile. From the opposite Damien nodded in agreement.

 

"Yeah, it all sounds pretty cool so far... Saaaay…" Inco didn’t like the sound of his tone. "Where is my land exactly? You know, in relation to where we are now?" He raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Is it far away?" Then he let out a gasp. Wait, is this my land? Do I own this town?" He grinned from ear(?) to ear(?) Oh, Inco, you shouldn’t have. Well, worry not, Ser Damien shall workest hardeth to protect mine peasant folk... but I will tax those inns. I bet they have some gold, eheh, ammirght?" He laughed, nudging Inco with his elbow repeatedly.

 

So it begins.

 

"Damien." Inco said in his most polite tone. "You don’t have any land." He frowned at those words, looking rather sad and pitiful. They’d had this discussion at least three times already, the Dilophosaurus repeatedly arguing that a landed knight had to have land. He had a point to be fair. "Well, you do, but it belongs to your family, and it’s far away from here." He seemed to brighten at the compromise. "Your uncle has the land-"

 

"Which one?"

 

"What-what do you mean which one?"

 

"I have two in my backstory; one is dead, the other one isn’t."

 

Inco just stared. "The one who isn’t dead then? I guess…?"

 

Damien sat there, concentration on his face as he thought about it for several long seconds. Okay, yeah, that works." He nodded, smiling happily. "The land is owned by my dear Uncle Ben." The Ben sat diagonally to him at the table raised an eyebrow. "He taught me how to use the sword when my dad died, right after my first uncle died, right after my grandfather died. Good man. Good man." He nodded to himself.

 

"Yeah that’s... that’s stuff that has happened, I suppose. Anyway, Damien-er-Ser Damien. You yourself own no land, but who knows. Work hard, impress the right people and you may be granted some yourself. How does that sound?"

 

The red Dino’s eyes grew as wide as his grin. That seemed to win him over. Good, he was plicated. "Now then… Where was I?"

 

"You were telling us how busy the Inns were and all the rumours going about them." Liz chimed in helpfully. "I assume we’re going to start in one of these inns then?" Damn, she saw right through Inco’s plan. Luckily for them, only Ben knew how generic the whole ‘You all meet at a tavern’ intro is and he was far too polite to bring it up.

 

"Oh yeah, thanks." Liz smiled at the gratitude from Inco. He picked up the can of Bepsi, taking a long sip to whet his whistle, and spoke up. Um, okay, let’s see. Yeah, give me a second and I’ll get back on track. Ahem…"

 

There were rumours abound, but those weren’t important right now; what was important were the four adventurers in the Boxing Bear. Each here for their own reasons, perhaps brought here by fate, perhaps pure luck. Who can say? Now then, what is each adventurer doing in this busy Inn?

 

Inco raised a hand to Liz. "Alright Liz, you start us off."

 

"Oh right, heh, hadn’t thought of this." She said awkwardly, her head lowering down sheepishly. "Well, I suppose Selia is sat at a table, um... Oh, I know! She’s reading from a book she bought from one of the merchants passing through. It’s a history book about, what was this country called again?"

 

"Tiereth."

 

"Yeah, about Tiereth. Selia is something of a scholar; she’ll read anything really. She’s very smart you know." The Brachiosaurus nodded with perhaps just a little too much eagerness. "History, arcane tomes, classic literature—she enjoys it all." Maybe just a smidge of self-inserting Inco mused to himself. But that was all part of the fun.

 

"Okay, hmm... why don’t you make a history check? You get an advantage because of your book." The first roll of the game—how exciting! It was very low stakes, but that was the best way to wean them in on the mechanics.

 

Liz rolled her twenty-sided dice, quickly snatching the dice a mere second after they stopped bouncing across the table. So quick in fact, that Inco hadn’t even had the chance to catch a glimpse of it. "Fifteen! She blurted out loudly. "That’s a pass, yes? I think it is. My Intelligence modifier gives me a plus Five. Definitely a pass, I’m sure."

 

Plus four? Inco winced. Why did he let her roll for her stats? She must have gotten really lucky there. "Yeah that’s a pass." He proceeded to spout some redundant information about the nation of Tiereth that he made up on the spot. Something about a famed knight the town of Derron’s Field was named after and how he had an archer companion that one of the other Inns in the town was named in reference too. She seemed to be appeased by his little history lesson, jotting down every detail in her notes.

 

"So, you’re reading your book, somehow amongst all the noise and hubbub." Inco turned to Ben. "And what about our Cleric Gareth?" Please don’t say you’re also reading a history book, the human pleaded in his mind.

 

Ben fidgeted in his seat, straightening himself up and raising his posture. He even adjusted the neckline of his ridiculous turtleneck sweater. "Gareth is sitting with another traveller." He said matter’o’factly. "A cleric of the god of the hunt, Rex’shar. We’re caught in a deep philosophical debate. You see, we have contrasting ideologies on the value of life and what it truly means to embrace what ‘life’ exactly is. For his part, as a cleric of the hunt, he sees the weak as prey to be devoured by the strong, to weed those out so only the most powerful are left. Where as me? I believe that all life, no matter how weak, is special and deserves to be preserved. As my Goddess commanded in my dream all those years ago, I must-"

 

"Yeah, that’s great buddy, we don’t wanna be here all day talking about theology. So you’re having your little priest meeting, Damien! What are you doing buddy?" If Ben was frowning, Inco chose to ignore it. There was no way he was going to spend a solid hour playing out a debate for some god who didn’t exist five minutes ago. Who the hell was Rex’shar?

 

"I, Ser Damien, am sat at the table with many a fine folk, each of us making merriment and mirth on this finest of summer nights-eth. I regale them all with tales of my valour and heroism!" As expected, his chest was pumped up and he even thumped it hard as he spoke. "Hark unto me yonder stinking peasant folk and miserly merchants’ men. Ser Damien will tell ye of how mine own hands slew five-no ten-no fifteen bandits to save a fair maiden."

 

Oh, this will be good." Inco could barely suppress a grin at his little display. "Roll. Performance or Persuasion, I’ll leave it up to you if you happen to have any extra in either."

 

The dice skittered across the table.

 

Twenty.

 

"God damn." Inco muttered. "Er yeah, wow, natural twenty. Yeah, the people around you love it. They think you’re some real cool hero Damien. Good job. In fact…Ahem."

 

As the people clap and cheer at the noble exploits of good Ser Damien, A man comes forward, resting a hand on the knight’s shoulder. With a wide grin, he says "You truly are a noble soul, good Ser. Tell you what, the next few rounds are on me and the lads, eh? It’s the least we could do knowing we have such a valiant warrior protecting our fair town. Please, it would be our honour."

 

"Thank you, most kindly good folk." Ser Damien said. "I accept your hospitality most humbliest. You are all too kind. Have no fear mud-streaked simpletons, for yonder town is ever safe so long as Ser Damien is here." He jammed a gauntleted thumb towards himself, and the crowd went wild with cheers once more.

 

Selia suddenly plopped down in the seat next to him, her body pressing up against the knight. "Oh Ser Damien." She swooned, her hand resting on her forehead as she pressed harder into him. "Your heroics are indeed noteworthy. Pray tell, would you permit a fair maiden like me the honour of writing about your exploits? Perhaps we can share some adventures…together? Making a history of our own? Oh my heart would indeed gladden if that were the case. You’re ever so…righteous." She cooed, resting her other hand gently on his arm.

 

"Get your hands off me you witch." Good Ser Damien said, eyes wide and pupils dilated as he stared down at the swooning mage.

 

Liz immediately sat upright in her chair, a look of shock on her face as she spluttered. "Woa-wait, what?!"

 

"Thou heardest me wench. Thou art a sorcerer, an honourless practitioner of magics who strikes their foes from afar rather than engaging in glorious melee!" He raised his clawed hands up at that last part for emphasis. Mia chuckled, leaning across the table and bumping fists with him, muttering something about ‘ripping and tearing’ if he heard it right. "You are shameless and without honour I say!" Damien declared, pointing angrily at the Brachiosaurus, who, for her part, sat there gobsmacked.

 

"I..I…but he uses magic too! Why aren’t you calling him as well?" She asked in disbelief, making her own pointing gesture towards Ben. Clearly, good Ser Damien’s rejection of her advances had thrown her for a loop—well, that and the whole ‘witch’ and ‘honourless’ comments too.

 

"Uh, technically, those two haven’t met yet, so Ser Damien doesn’t really have an opinion." Inco cut in and immediately regretting it after the murderous stare he received from Liz. He probably should have just kept his mouth shut.

 

"As the magic voice said, I haven’t encountered yonder Friar Gareth yet. But from what I knoweth, he is a man of the cloth and an ally of the Light. A good man who wields not foul magics, but miracles and acts of faith granted by the Goddess herself." Ben seemed to shrink in his seat with all the attention he was suddenly getting. Poor lad. "Perhaps you could learn a lesson from our pious brother, Witch." Venom dripped from every word. "Maybe if ye found a God, thou might findeth a shred of honour too. Now release mine arm before I use my sword and release it forthwith."

 

Liz’s face seemed to contort in a myriad of emotions as she tried to process what was happening. Meanwhile, both Ben and Inco sat there watching uncomfortably, while Mia didn’t even bother to hide her grin. This was a show for her, and she loved every second of it.

 

The human coughed awkwardly into his fist. "Okay, let’s just get things back on track, eh?" It was hard to focus with Liz’s head low down onto the table, a glum look to her. She reminded Inco of a sad, wounded puppy. "Haydeth the barbarian, what are you up to in this fine tavern….please keep it manageable." He muttered quietly through gritted teeth and a forced smile.

 

Mia sat up from her slouched position, the realization that she has to actually RP now dawning on her. Uh, I dunno." She shrugged before her eyes narrowed at him. "Don’t look at me like that; gimme a minute! God, if I wanted to do this dumb make-believe pretend shit, I woulda gone to acting class." She was actually rubbing her temple in thought, much to Inco’s surprise. "Heydeth uh…Haydeth…" Suddenly, she snapped her fingers. "I gottit!" She declared smugly, going back to her slouched position, arms folded across her chest, her usual grin plastered across her face. "Heydeth is at the front of the Inn drinking whatever pisswill they call ale here... or mead, or whatever the fuck ye old shitheads used to drink."

 

"Yeah that works; I like it; nice and simple." He was both surprised and grateful that she was doing something like that instead of just outright trying to rob and murder everyone around her. Lord knows he expected it of her. "And so…"

 

At the front of the Inn, by the counter where casks and shelves line the backwall, a young barbarian sits, mulling her third round of ale. The ale itself is of a middling quality. It could be worse; it could certainly be better. It’s clear they’ve given her the affordable stuff but not the worst, lest they fear this musclebound maiden might wreak havoc. With everyone in such high spirits this evening, the Innkeeper, a short portly women in her middle years, doesn’t mind giving a few of the more ‘interesting’ looking patrons an extra round or two on the house. It seems good Ser Damien’s spirits have infected everyone. How fortunate.

 

As Haydeth finishes her drink from a dented tin cup, a pretty young serving girl passes, carrying a tray of drinks. As she glides past, she lowers another tin cup of that particular ale onto the counter next to her. "Here you go…uh, miss. On the house tonight." She smiles at the barbarian before departing for the rest of the room.

 

"Is she cute?" Mia asks plainly.

 

"Well… I suppose she’s attractive. Uh, human, long brown hair... why?" Inco asked suspiciously. Just what was she after? And there was that glint in her eyes again. A siren began to wail in the back of Inco’s mind. Something was about to happen. Something he wouldn’t like.

 

"Haydeth reaches out and squeezes her ass as she leaves."

 

Immediately, Inco let out a loud sigh, his face sinking into his hand. Uh, Mia, I don’t think you should, um, be groping the NPCs." Ben said, putting a finger up in objection. "It looks kind of-"

 

"Cram it choir boy." Mia snapped. "You’re just jealous it wasn’t you." She shot him a toothy grin as he began to flush. Now it was Liz’s turn to get an edge in.

 

"He’s got a point, Mia. It’s pretty weird and kinda creepy. We’re meant to be the good guys, ya know? You can’t exactly go around touching whoever you want. You keep it up, and you’ll get us kicked out of the town." She frowned. "Your actions have consequences, you know? Remember that."

 

The redish-pinkish Parasaurolophus waved a dismissive hand. "Please, longneck. Don’t get mad at me for having the balls to go after what I want." She leaned forward across the table on an elbow, shooting Liz a knowing smile. "We both know there’s a certain someone you’d want nothing more than to get a handful of ass from... or would you rather he grab yours?"

 

Liz froze in her seat, eyes wide and mouth twitching. The poor girl was at a loss for words, her face turning as bright red as Ben’s. Mia shifted her gaze over to Damien next. "So, you gonna say anything too?"

 

The poor lad jumped in his seat. "Er, uh, um..." He awkwardly scratched the back of his head, trying to think of something to say. For his sake, it would be better if he just kept quiet, but of course he did not. "Perhaps thou..uh…Ahem. Seek pleasures not in the flesh, for they are but temporary. But justice and glory is ever... eternal?" He shrugged, trying his best to spew out some poorly worded ye old nonsense.

 

Mia just made a "Pssh" noise and looked away. Yeah, that’s what I expected from you, ‘good ser knight’, heh." There was a clear mocking tone in her voice.

 

Inco had had enough. It was time to wrangle this in. Pushing his chair back and standing up, Inco loomed over the table. Alright, settle down. I’ll keep us going. But remember what Liz said. Your actions have consequences." He hoped it sounded threatening enough.

 

And so, as Heydeth brazenly cupped the young serving girl's bottom, the girl let out a shrill squeak, jumping back in surprise from the grinning barbarian. Just then, from a few seats down the countertop, a figure arose. Clad in studded leather armour with a broadsword strapped to his back, he turned a scarred and gnarled face towards the barbarian as they made their approach. The figure moved with calm but dangerous purpose, like that of a panther ready to lunge at a moment's notice. It was clear that whoever this man was, he was a mercenary, and an experienced one at that.

 

"Easy there, traveller." He said in a cold, raspy voice as he eyed the Parasaurolophus up and down. "I don’t think the people of this town would take kindly to you being a little handsy. They’re good people, and I hate seeing good people get wronged. Why don’t you keep your hands to yourself and we can avoid some…unpleasant trouble, hmm?" As he spoke, his hand moved slowly to the scabbard across his back, grabbing the hilt of the sword and-

 

"Intimidation check."

 

Inco’s eyes widened as he looked from Mia to Ben. "You taught her about intimidation checks?!" He expressly told Ben NOT to tell her about those. He knew full well she would just abuse the hell out of them every chance she got.

 

"I-I didn’t mean to!" The blue Parasaurolophus protested, bringing his hands up defensively. "She saw it on the sheet and asked…and I just kind of…told her. Look, I couldn’t just lie, okay?" As he spoke, she tossed her dice across the table, laughing.

 

"Shoulda kept quiet choir boy."

 

Sixteen.

 

Inco sighed.

 

The barbarian rose from her stool, hand outstretched, gripping the hilt of her great axe. The Parasaurolophus stared him straight in the eyes as she loomed over him. "Is that so? Well, just between you and me, ‘traveller, I’m gonna grope and grab anyone I want, whenever I want. Because I don’t give a fuck. And no one is gonna stop me... unless you want to try." As she spoke, her muscles seemed to tense and bulge as she cast a long shadow over the mercenary. "Go on little human. I dare you. I could snap you in half."

 

The man seemed to shrink smaller and smaller with every word she spoke, every threat, and every taunt. His lips quivered, his eyes twitched, and if one were to look closely enough, one might see the hand gripping his sword shaking. "Well?  I’m waiting." Said Heydeth. She seemed to have adopted the same mannerisms as him earlier. A deadly warrior on the cusp of breaking out into extreme violence.

 

The mercenary raised a shaky finger; his entire body was shaking, and he spluttered "O-oh you know? I think… I think I’m at the wrong Inn! My-my friend is waiting for me in-in one of the other ones, haha. Well, I think I’ll go see him now. Sorry to trouble you m-miss." The man bolted for the door, almost ripping it off its hinges as he opened it before slamming it shut behind him.

 

Heydeth barked a laugh and sat back on her stool, leaning back against the counter with her elbows. "Pffft. Coward." Just then, she glanced up over at the serving girl she had squeezed before and shot her a wink. "My room. Later."

 

"Persuasion."

 

"Oh you taught her about those as well?" Inco asked as the dice rolled in front of him. Ben kept quiet, merely trying to avoid eye contact out of embarrassment and keeping his head low and shielded with a hand.

 

Seventeen.

 

"Great…"

 

The serving girl blushes, nodding to the warrior before quickly scurrying off with a giggle. She seems to like what she sees. Then Heydeth turned her head and called out to the young cleric sitting nearby, still caught up in his monotonous discussion on religion. "Same goes for you too choir boy! Maybe I’ll make a man of you yet!" She laughs with a wicked grin, raising her cup in the air towards him.

 

Ben flushed awkwardly as Mia leaned in and whispered. "Don’t worry kid, I’ll be gentle... at first." The Parasaurolophus turned an even brighter shade at her words, with his glasses now appearing to steam up. He removed them with a shaky hand, pulling a cloth from his pocket with the other. Turning away from Mia, he began to vigorously rub the glasses, clearing away the stream while trying to hide his face from the rest of the party. Poor kid Inco thought while Mia just slapped the table and laughed. Liz offered him a sympathetic look while Damien just... did he just mine the words ‘nice’? This was getting too weird for Inco.

 

And too far off the beaten track.

 

Just then, the door to the Inn bursts open as a young girl comes barreling through, a look of stark terror on her pale face.

 

"Goblins!" She cried, "The Goblins took my father!"