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Anonymous Fri 21 Jun 2024 22:25:48 No.66798556 Report

continuing thread from yesterday where Sera is trying to figure out who her dad is

>its morning
>I'm in the kitchen eating breakfast
>I hear the door to moms room open and shut
>a few moments later she shuffles into the kitchen
>I get a good look at her
>she's wrapped up in a night robe
>her hair is frizzy
>deep bags under her eyes
>she looks exhausted
>mom takes notice of me with a start
>"S-sera...I didn't know you were awake"
>she mumbles
>mom makes a beeline for the coffee maker
>"I...guess that was you who helped me off the couch?"
>mom asks as she scoops coffee into a filter
>"yeah"
>she pauses and sighs
>"I'm sorry you had to see me like that. It was a rough day at the office. I just wanted to take the edge off. I didn't realize how much I had before I passed out"
>mom apologizes as she starts the coffee maker
>she looks in my direction but not at me
>"rough day...yeah I get it. Been a lot of those lately"
>I reply
>I see mom flinch
>"It's just been super busy. Ever since we won that big lawsuit at the start of the year, everyone has been lining up to hire us. Suffering from success, I guess you could call it."
>mom explains with an apologetic smile
>"do you know when it's going to slow down?"
>mom shrugs
>"probably not for a while. We're still trying to high more lawyers and attorneys. And my boss is being very thorough in the selection process."
>"well don't work too hard. I don't know how much wine cost but going through two bottles a night can't be cheap"
>I say blandly
>mom pauses again and says nothing
>she stares at the coffee maker
>I see her clench her jaw
>"I'm doing this for us, sweetie."
>she finally says
>"I want to make sure you don't miss out because you didn't have the money to get into the school you deserve. That brain of yours is too valuable to waste in some dinky community college."
>the response has a bit of motherly bite to it

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Anonymous Fri 21 Jun 2024 22:46:45 No.66799208 Report

Quoted By: >>66799699 >>66799766 >>66799822 >>66800580

>>66798556
>"if finances are so important why do we waste so much money living in this fucking McMansion?"
>I snap back
>"This place has two floors, an attic, a basement, five bedrooms two living rooms, a master bathroom, four smaller bathrooms, a pool, a jacuzzi-"
>I list off the house's accommodations
>"-and we don't even use a quarter of it! We never use the second floor except to store junk up there. And I haven't seen you use the pool and jacuzzi in forever!"
>I exclaim
>"how much money could we save if we sold this monstrosity and moved into an apartment so-"
>"We're not living in an apartment!"
>Mom suddenly snaps out, interrupting my rant
>I blink
>she's staring me down
>anger replacing the earlier shame she'd been feeling from having her own daughter get her ready for bed after she passed out from drinking
>i back off the topic a bit
>"Ok no apartments. But we could still save a lot if we moved to a smaller place"
>I argue
>"Amber's family has a single story house with three bedrooms. They're twice the size of our family and they still have plenty of room."
>I hear my mom scoff when I bring up the Mous'
>"Sera, honey, please don't compare yourselves to the Mous'. I know they're your friends but Amber's going to peak in some state college's sports program. That Greene kid is probably going to end up a mal-adjusted homeless recluse. And while I-"
>mom pauses for a moment and seems to struggle with what she says next
>"-respect their parent's career choices, they're not exactly going places."
>sometimes I'm too smart for my own good
>my brain came up with a killshot and fires it off before I could think about the ramification of doing so
>"Well at least Amber has a dad!"
>mom looks visibly stunned
>"I'd rather have one of those than live in a stupid giant empty house!"
>there's very few times I've seen my mom reach the point of what cynthia endearingly calls "trigout mode"
>but mom looks like she's getting real close

cont

Anonymous Fri 21 Jun 2024 23:29:42 No.66800580 Report

Quoted By: >>66800757

>>66799208
>"be quiet."
>she says in an aggressively neutral tone
>"go to your room"
>she orders
>the coffee cup in her hand is shaking
>before I can say anything she turns on her heel and heads back towards her room
>I follow
>"What is it mom? I'm good enough for the best universities in the country but not a father?"
>I call out after her
>mom jerks to a halt
>"I said be QUIET!"
>she snaps
>my mom stops
>"all those studies that prove kids to better with two parents, mom! If you wanted me to succeed, don't you think I should've had a dad-"
>"BE QUIET!"
>mom roars as she spins around to face me
>the coffee splashes out of the mug and onto the wall and carpet
>I flinch back
>mom is practically trembling
>I'm pretty sure it's rage
>mom has never been one to scream at me
>always a stern disappointed tone when she's correcting me
>I can't recall her staring at me in open fury
>I step back
>after a moment she manages to get herself back under control
>"Clean that up"
>she snaps, pointing to the coffee staining the wall and rug
>"then go to your room. you're grounded"
>before I can protest she's inside her room
>the door slamming against the frame echos through the empty house
>I stand there like an idiot before finally doing what was ordered of me
>I'm a bit shocked with how quickly the conversation had escalated
>maybe what had set me off was how quickly mom had dismissed the Mous'
>Amber was more than some dumb jock
>she wasn't a genius but she was a solid B+ student
>she could probably do a lot of jobs if she put her mind to it
>yeah Greene was a weirdo
>but he was earnest and polite about it
>he didn't ramble on about military history or combat stuff unless you prompted him
>he was quiet and minded his own business
>he was actually a calming influence on our friends group
>and unlike the other weirdo of the group, Cynthia, he bathed regularly and washed his clothes

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Anonymous Fri 21 Jun 2024 23:51:26 No.66801221 Report

Quoted By: >>66801440 >>66801891

>>66798556
>>66799208
>>66800580
cont from last thread

>Mrs. Mous was a great person
>friendly, open, helpful
>she wasn't afraid to be a mother to other kids besides her own, too
>I would say being a teacher for kids at church was cringy
>if she wasn't so earnest and committed to it
>I know she'd lay down her life protecting any child under her care
>As for Mr. Mous...
>I pushed aside my feelings for him
>he was a dedicated father and husband first
>always making sure his family was taken care of
>both emotionally and physically on top of financially
>being a sound engineer wasn't the flashiest job in the world
>but he liked it and it paid enough were he could provide for his family
>I didn't see anything wrong with that
>but for some reason mom always had a chip on her shoulder when they got brought up
>I know the three of them had history together
>mom and Mrs Mous were childhood friends
>they even started some shitty band with Mr. Reed
>then apparently Anon had showed up to the last semester of their senior year
>and he was responsible for them breaking apart
>I think
>mom never told me flat out
>I found out most of the drama from Cynthia's mom of all people
>apparently mom had said some hurtful things to Ms Mous
>then screwed up an apology that drove them even further apart
>they stayed apart for years
>and only made amends once me and Amber started hanging out
>I still don't know what mom had said
>or how it was so bad it ruined a decade long friendship
>but I feel like it's part of the key to all this
>right as I finish cleaning up, I see mom leave her room
>my heart sinks
>she's dressed for work
>she's going to the office
>I know she's not going to be back until after dark
>"remember, you're grounded. you better be here when I get back"
>she says curtly as she storms past
>no eye contact made
>I scurry around to get between her and the front door
>mom's eyes narrow
>"move"
>she orders

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Anonymous Sat 22 Jun 2024 00:09:45 No.66801891 Report

Quoted By: >>66802660 >>66802672

>>66801221
>"not until you tell me who my dad is"
>my bluntness causes mom to rock back a bit
>but her eyes narrow
>"Sera, if you do not get out of my way there will be serious repercussions"
>she threatens
>"why can't you tell me! Please!"
>I beg
>"Sera, I am not in the mood for this"
>she bites out
>mom tries to move around me but I block her
>this has become the most important thing in my life
>good or bad I need answers
>"Sera I told you to-"
>I grip her by her jacket's lapels
>"fucks sake mom just tell me!"
>I shout
>"I don't know!"
>mom shouts back
>she pushes me back
>I stumble by stay upright
>I stare at her
>"I don't know."
>mom says more levelly
>"It was right out of college. I just won my first big case and me and my colleagues went out to celebrate. I ran into some guy. We got chatty. Got drunk..."
>she grimaces
>"next thing I know, I'm waking up in his bed"
>silence
>"and then what?"
>I prompt, fear and hope electrifying my nerves
>"then......"
>mom looks physically pained
>"...I snuck out of his apartment before he could wake up."
>I feel like I'm deflating
>"what was his name?" I ask
>mom's jaw trembles
>"I don't remember. I don't think I ever really asked"
>"a few weeks later I discovered I was pregnant"
>she adds
>my bones feel like jelly
>"You never planned on having me, did you?" I manage to get out
>mom says nothing and looks away
>"did you even want to keep me?"
>I say in a small voice
>mom swallows
>"I was....weighing all my possibilities"
>she finally says
>oh God
>mom was planning on aborting me
>"please understand! I had just started on my career! I thought there was no way I could balance the responsibilities of a pregnancy and a baby with my position at the firm! I didn't think it would be fair to you!"
>holy shit mom's trying to justify why she was planning on killing me
>I stare at her
>"why didn't you do it?"
>I ask, my voice sounding muffled

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Anonymous Sat 22 Jun 2024 00:31:53 No.66802672 Report

Quoted By: >>66803329

>>66801891

>"I talked to your grandma about it. I knew she had one before me."
>mom swallows and looks off into space
>"she said she regretted it. Even with all the kids she had. Long story short she convinced me to keep you."
>mom is suddenly in front of me
>my face is in her hands
>she holds my chin so we're eye to eye
>"baby I'm so glad she did. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you beyond what words can express. Please believe me. You are the most important thing in my life."
>I can tell she's being sincere
>I know she means it
>still...
>"why didn't you try to find him? You said you didn't think you could handle a kid and work. Wouldn't a husband help?"
>I ask
>I know it doesn't work that way all the time
>but theres a chance it could've
>mom sighs
>"like I said, I didn't even remember his name. I could barely remember his face. Searching for a random guy I met at a bar seemed like an impossible task."
>she explained
>"and..."
>mom seemed pained to admit the next part
>"after I got used to the idea of having a kid, I thought I could do it on my own. Your grandma had already promised to help. So...."
>she trailed off
>"so you decided you were a strong independent woman who didn't need no man?"
>I sarcastically finish for her
>mom winces
>"kind of. But there was more too it than that"
>she admits
>I look at her expectantly
>mom sighs
>"you've probably figured out that Mrs Mous....Lucy and I used to be close friends growing up"
>I nod
>"Then the middle of senior year that fucking sk-"
>she corrects herself "-er, Mr Mous showed up. He started hanging out with Lucy. It felt like he was pulling her away from what I thought was her true identify. Misleading her and all that. I wasn't happy about it"
>mom rubs her nose
>"It all came to a head. I said some really hurtful things. But the gist of it was she was throwing her life away to become a housewife with zero dreams and aspirations"
>I see mom cringe

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Anonymous Sat 22 Jun 2024 00:53:21 No.66803329 Report

Quoted By: >>66803673

>>66802672

feel like I'm getting close to wrapping this up. Maybe a few more posts

>"I know better now. But at the time I thought I was right."
>"I tried some halfassed apology at the end of prom. But it blew up in my face. Our friendship was over. After that I didn't see Lucy for years"
>mom seemed genuinely remorseful about what she had said
>"I went to college, graduated, and came back here. While I was getting settled in I heard about Lucy from a friend. The way I interpreted what they said confirmed everything I had told Lucy came true."
>"She had put her life on hold and ruined any chance of personal success while she waited for Mr. Mous to finish dicking around in the army and come back to her. Then they immediately got married and set to work having kids"
>mom chews her lip
>"I didn't want to admit it. but inside I was pleased that I had been vindicated. Everything I had warned Lucy about happened. And I promised I wouldn't let that happen to me"
>mom leans back and huffs
>"so when I found out I was pregnant, I swore I wouldn't throw away all the time I had invested my college and career. I wasn't going to become some subservient housewife. I was going to prove you could be a successful businesswoman and a single mom at the same time and everything would work out."
>"I was deluding myself"
>mom says bitterly
>"if it hadn't been for your grandma, aunts, and uncles stepping up to help those first couple years, I never would've made it."
>"they basically raised you for the first three years of your life"
>mom swallows
>"so they were the ones who were there when you said your first word. when you took your first steps. your first finger painting was of uncle Riley for fucks sake"
>mom seems angry, but at herself
>I see tears forming around her eyes
>"I wasn't a mom. I was just bankrolling some family to take care of a kid I popped out"
>she says scathingly
>"and I'm still doing it too"

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Anonymous Sat 22 Jun 2024 01:06:24 No.66803673 Report

Quoted By: >>66803813 >>66803822

>>66803329
>I look at her
>pieces are starting to click into place
>"all those extra curriculars and tutoring you had me go to"
>I breath out
>mom nods
>"I told myself it was all for you. I was getting you the best education I could buy."
>mom's fist clench
>"looking back it was all just something to keep you busy until I got back from work"
>mom is looking as drained as I feel
>"It feels like your whole life I've been having others take care of you
>I wonder how long it's been since she's came to this conclusion
>I wonder if she's ever admitted it out loud
>"I'm a terrible mom"
>she mumbles, staring at the floor
>I gingerly approach her
>my arms wrap around her waist
>I feel her tense
>"I'm not going to say it was perfect"
>I say quietly
>"I wish you had done things a little differently"
>"but I do know you love me."
>I feel mom sag into me when I say this
>she hugs me back
>"I'm sorry"
>she whispers into my shoulder
>"I love you mom"
>I simply say
>we stay like that for a long time
>finally we separate
>mom looks down at her wrinkled suit jacket
>"fuck it" she growls
>mom hurriedly takes the thing off and looks at me
>"Sera, I'm going to get changed. Pick where you'd like to go. We're having a girls day out"
>I stare at her in disbelief
>mom hasn't taken a saturday off in months
>"what about the firm?"
>I say cautiously
>mom gets an impish grin
>"if they have a problem with me taking the day off..."
>she looks around
>"well we can always move into a smaller house, right?"
>I smile back at her
>It still hurt
>knowing mom picked her career over marriage
>robbing me of a father
>but theres no point dwelling on the past
>all I can hope is that this is the turning of a corner
>maybe I'll never have a dad
>but I can at least get my mom back

fin