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Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:32:12 No.68194741 Report

Quoted By: >>68194759 >>68195033 >>68195288

>mom and dad have been harassing me to be more social
>really REALLY doesn't want to be roped into normie urbanite activity
>the only time I go out is for innawoods shenanigans
>and I don’t really shoot with anyone but dad
>but her prefers to go to the range
>fucking hate range fudds and the like
>"No, I don't need pointers"
>"No, I haven't seen the new sig, and I don't want to"
>"No, I'm not paying 100 bucks for a CCW for a right I should already have"
>and worse yet, paying money for that treatment
>hard pass
>after scrolling through my contacts I’m at the end of his options
>a certain terminally online stego change her status to "online"
>she's always on, but that status change means I can talk to her with a moderate chance of reply
>best to keep the question curt, don't want to come off as weird and the less context the more likely she is to say "no"
>"Going shooting"
>the message sends and a minute or so passes before a reply comes through
>"Finally decided to off yourself? most people need to wait for the PTSD to wear them down, but I guess you're just proactive"
>that's a longer reply than usual
>maybe she's between ranked matches
>ah shit, how am I going to phrase this?
>"Going out later today"
>"Okay, and?"
>"Didn't know if you had any interest"
>a 'typing ' notification appears and reappears, before fading out entirely
>guess that's a n-
>a ringtone plays from the computer, silencing my thoughts
>oh Raptor Jesus - she's calling me

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Greene_Cynthia_convulsion.jpg, 57KiB, 833x831

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:32:47 No.68194759 Report

Quoted By: >>68194786

>>68194741
>that's never good
>it means she's mad enough to yell at you and too raged to type
>maybe I shouldn't answer
>even if I don’t, I will still hear about it later
>might as well get it over with
>no sooner than I answer the call do the questions start coming
>"Any interest!? you want to know if I have any interest!?"
>"If y-"
>"You're pathetic!? I'm out of your league!"
>"I was j-"
>"What makes you think I'd go out with you, you cosmoline soaked wehraboo!? you think you can just entice me with some sad surplus cos-"
>"Raptor Jesus Fuck, Cynthia! I just wanted to know if you wanted to go shooting!"
>"Shooting?"
>"Yes - just, out to the woods and target shoot"
>the response isn't instant but comes with a noticeably less brazen hostility
>"You're asking me to join you at a secluded location in which you're openly letting me know that you'll have a loaded gun?"
>man... when you put it like that...
>"You'd have one too"
>it's not the most assuring remark but it is true
>"uh, I don't have a gun? retard?"
>"I'll loan you one"
>"as if I'd play with one of your finger fuck toys?"
>don't call them that
>"Besides, why do you think I'd have any interest in your dickless compensation?"
>"C'mon Cynthia, I know Stella has to be pestering you about going out more"
>or at least out of that fucking rat nest
>"Sure, but I'll just hide in the shed again and leech wifi from the neighbors if she kicks me out"
>"Didn't dad put a lock on that last weekend?"
>I could recall the maternal stego calling his father over the weekend with a handyman request
>the call goes quiet - just long enough for a trek to and fro so the speaker could verify the claim
>eventually, a reply comes though
>"Fuck"

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Greene_lament.png, 140KiB, 440x572

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:33:34 No.68194786 Report

Quoted By: >>68194807

>>68194759
>"Look, I don't like it either, just come on out, we fire off some rounds, take a picture as proof that we talked to another living person - in person, then go home"
>"Why shooting, can't we just hit up the book store then fuck off?"
>"The ammo is free - more than you'd get anywhere else, you're telling me you don't have any interest i-"
>"Dumb - book store"
>"Oh yeah, so I can taxi you around for some porn browsing?"
>"IT'S CALLED YOAI AND ITS AN UNRECOGNIZED ART FORM"
>"Alright alright jeez"
>a quick glance towards a wooden chest for mental inventory assessment
>there might be one thing she has interest in
>"I... have a flintlock pistol I could bring o-"
>she cuts me off with an exaggerated and prolonged groan
>"Don't fucking start with me, One Piece is such a normalfag manga"
>"You read it"
>"We all come from somewhere"
>"You're telling me you don't want to fire off a flintlock at least once?"
>"No - fuck off"
>this bitch
>offer her free shooting, free transport, a-
>wait wait wait, I'm just not communicating with her on her level
>"Oh, I understand, that's alright Cynthia"
>I can practically hear her confusion at the sudden shift to agreeability
>"Flintlocks are pretty complex pistols, not everybody c-"
>"Don't! fucking try it!"
>"Try what?"
>"Reverse psyching me with your bullshit!"
>"Just being considerate"
>there's no need for further explanation
>the damage is done, the seed is planted, any second now
>silence
>then an answer
>"We're hitting the book store after shooting, I want to go before peak hours to dodge the fags"
>easy
>thanks dad, you're years of baiting and the lessons learned haven't gone to waste
>"Another thing, don't drive the fucking project car"
>"Sure, I'll just drive my other car"
>"You finally bought something that works?"
>"Nope, see ya in 30"

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Cynthia_cosplay.png, 95KiB, 400x508

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:34:14 No.68194807 Report

Quoted By: >>68194834

>>68194786
>I lug a loaded duffel bag down the stairs
>nothing special, just a plinking setup for paper targets and the usual range supplies
>mom radiates pride upon the emergence of her resident loaner
>"Heading out dear? That's so -"
>fortunately dad gives her a tactile wave, one I'm not supposed to see, signaling that she shouldn't smother me
>in place of verbal praise she wraps a wing around me as a parting hug before I head for the door
>she knows I don't like the attention or prolonged goodbyes but she can't help herself
>bless you dad
>I toss my bag in the back seat and stab a worn key into the ignition
>the Swedish beauty fires all 4 of her cylinders
>the world's most under stressed and over engineered engine fires to life
>hopefully the flame trap system is holding up
>while not thinking of Initial D - an infection gained via previous contact with the stego - I peel out of the driveway and onto the road
>it's a straight shot to the stego residence
>after a few green lights (fuck you Amber that shit joke now lives in my head) I roll to a halt in front of the townhouse
>the residential matriarch is already standing on the front porch waving to me happily
>I open the door and step out, returning her wave
>the gremlin herself, sensing her mother's distraction, tries to dart passed her
>but moms exist for the express purpose of embarrassing their kids
>don't I know it
>Stella grabs her by the flowing collar of an oversized coat
>"Awe! My little Cynthia is all dressed up and heading out!"
>"Fuck off, mom"
>they express their affection in ways unique to them
>after their familial exchange she escapes to my doorside
>"Cynthia?"
>"what!?"
>"the fuck are you wearing?"
>her oversized jacket worn as a cape conceals a black and white pinstripe suit
>the fedora, aged and ragged, looks like a salvaged mafioso find
>and the jewelry, I don't think she's ever worn jewelry
>wait a minute, is sh-
>"it's called cosplay, now let's go"

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO innawoods.png, 77KiB, 517x484

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:34:59 No.68194834 Report

Quoted By: >>68194855

>>68194807
>the first few minutes of forrest-bound driving pass in silence
>her rings clink together as she fiddles with the dated radio
>"Fucking really - cassettes only? Are you some vaporwave fetishist?"
>"It's an old car"
>"Doesn't mean it needs an old radio"
>"Doesn't need a whiny passenger either"
>if the AC didn't work the collecting odor might rot my face off
>I'm no spring breeze, but at least I'm not... that
>before she can take up the next leg of the argument, I reach over her lap, eliciting a startled reaction, and open the glovebox
>inside lies a bounty of salvaged cassettes
>"Take your pic"
>"Is this all boomer rock?"
>"What did you expect? nightcore?"
>"With you - I have no expectations"
>a sideways glance reveals her smug shitposter smirk
>but you came to this gunfight with a knife
>"Thanks"
>"Thanks!? it wasn't a compliment y-"
>a sudden pang of self awareness overtakes her, but only after she chomped the bait
>a follow up isn't needed and she just seethes at her inability to incite any anger
>just in time to roll into my stomping grounds
>the small clearing is secluded enough to remain out of sight of any casual campers and stay shaded in the summer
>and large enough to set up a few pistol targets at a reasonable range
>with the right tire selection, the Volvo, a heavy bitch, has enough traction to cut through the roads even during the rainy season
>"This is it? this is bumfuck nowhere?"
>"Yeah, it's as barren as your DMs"
>"Fuck off"
>she hops out of the car, stretching her legs as she flattens the creases out of her haphazard cosplay
>I set about placing a few targets down range
>"So - do you want a hand or something?"
>I can only meet her question with skepticism
>thought she didn't care
>I'm half tempted to fire off some shitty reply along the lines of 'I want it actually done right'
>but with a single target placed downrange, enough for our purposes, I'm already finished, and wave her off

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Greene_Cynthia_blackpowder.png, 358KiB, 908x656

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:35:38 No.68194855 Report

Quoted By: >>68194874

>>68194834
>I heft the duffel bag onto the hood of the car
>the folding table in the trunk is forgone, as I don't expect this shooting trip to last long enough to justify the set up time
>Cynthia watches with feigned indifference as I pull out a few carrying cases
>"It's like a Mary Poppins bag for aspiring school shooters"
>even though I know better I give her the sneer she wants
>in her weebshit outfit, a blend of mobster and pirate, she looks like an autistic crime lord reveling in her own disruption
>I pull the box housing the flintlock and its munitions, powder, lead balls, percussion caps, and lubed patches, out of the bag and set it by her
>with morbid curiosity she looks down her nose at the firearm
>but I can see the intrigue she tries to hide
>"That's it?"
>"Yes"
>"It looks pathetic"
>"That's why I thought it would be perfect for you"
>she scours at the backfire and tries to play if off by reaching for the gun
>safety concerns by the wayside, she flags me twice as she plays with the piece
>she tries to check the sights, of which there are none to be found, plays with the hammer and trigger, and points the pistol at a few distant trees
>after getting acquainted with the feel of the firearm she pantomimes firing off a shot
>"Don't fucking stare at me, creep"
>"Don't mind me, just wondering if you wanted to actually shoot that, or if you were going to sit around all day playing with it?"
>"Oh yeah? didn't your mom ask you the same thing when she gave you ‘the talk?’"
>I smother her attempt to rile me with what Amber affectionately calls the "sigma stare"
>with a gesture to the munitions laid out I redirect her attention to the outing at hand
>"I'm waiting"
>to her credit, she puts forth a noble effort
>she knows where the percussion cap goes, but puts it on first
>that's just asking for a ND
>after letting her flounder, forcing her to caste a few sidelong pleading glances, I set in
>"Give me that"

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Greene_Cynthia_argument.png, 573KiB, 1572x1245

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:36:18 No.68194874 Report

Quoted By: >>68194898

>>68194855
>she knows better to protest but spares me an undignified eye roll
>I pop the percussion cap off of the nipple and carefully measure out a charge of black powder
>since I'm feeling lazy I use a pre lubed conical
>430 grains of cast and three rings of bore butter
>it doesn't take much for the ramrod to seat it flush to the powder
>"I thought you had to put that piece of paper down the barrel?"
>"Usually, but this bullet comes pre-greased"
>I almost addend a "like you" to the end of that explanation
>instead I just half cock the hammer and press the cap on the nipple
>"Alright, but don't you need to put a piece of paper on top of it?"
>"No, that's and overshot wad, you don't need one unless you’re filing shot"
>"But what if you wanted to carry it? Wouldn't you need to keep water from getting in the barrel"
>"You want to carry a black powder pistol?"
>it's almost impressive that she's put some thought into this
>but then I remember it's Cynthia, and she'd likely use it for cosplay
>"Whatever, is it ready yet?"
>I have to keep the pistol out of her reach like a toddler going for a kitchen knife
>"Hold on, do you know what y-"
>"Yes, come on, it's just a gun, gimme"
>I hold it outside her grasp for the moment
>"So help me Raptor Jesus, if you flag me with this for a second"
>"Yeah-yeah, point it at the target and all that"
>there's more ways this can go poorly than there are ways it can go well
>but this is the one reason she came out
>after she sends a round down range I can just play with my model 10 until she gets bored
>with barely restrained eagerness she plucks the reproduction flintlock from my hand
>to her credit she doesn't flag me and immediately points the gun downrange towards the target
>instead of firing off a shot immediately she takes time to level the pistol in her inexperienced hands
>"You chose the wrong person to make an enemy of!"
>wat?
>a click, a small delay, then a billow of black fodder

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Greene_violent_thoughts.png, 198KiB, 718x723

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:36:58 No.68194898 Report

Quoted By: >>68194936

>>68194874
>trigger jerk and lack of sights send the shot veering off into the tree line
>"The fuck was that?"
>"It's not my fault - this gun has no scope on it"
>as she turns she unknowingly whips the gun my way
>I slap her hand
>"Ow!"
>"Don't point that at me!"
>"It's not loaded!"
>"Whoever you're pointing it at might not know that"
>"It holds one shot - you saw it go off"
>"Doesn't matter, you don't point guns at people"
>She takes a moment to rub her wrist and lament her wayward marksmanship
>"Shitty fucking gun"
>Hold up, the outfit, the gun, the one liner
>"Were you... were you quoting One Piece?"
>"No, that's stupid"
>She tosses the gun back onto it's open case
>"Alright, I shot the gun, can we go now?"
>beginner's lament: missing the target in front of others is never fun
>I ignore her moping as I go about priming the handgun
>"So, what’s the cosplay?"
>she sputters out some undignified sound
>"Nothing!"
>I drop a round ball down the lubed barrel
>"You just dress like that?"
>"I'm not taking fashion critique from you"
>how dare she, tiger stripe camo is always in
>"Alright, fine"
>"Just take your stupid shot and drop me back off"
>"You don't want to try again?"
>I offer her the reloaded handgun
>"Fuck no"
>"What, you miss once then call it a d-"
>"Get off my ass!" she snaps
>she sinks her head into her popped collar and obscures the face with the brim of her hat
>"Look, there's a saying with black powder: aim for the belt - hit the bosom"
>with a demonstrative point I emphasize a lower aim
>"These tend to shoot high. You'll do well if you just aim low and slowly squeeze the trigger"
>the coincidental inclusion of a slur, despite the technical use case is enough to elicit a small chuckle
>just enough to break through her moping
>"Alright, fine"
>she accepts the gun and turns it downrange

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Cynthia_flintlock.png, 75KiB, 348x481

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:37:58 No.68194936 Report

Quoted By: >>68194967

>>68194898
>the gun points noticeably lower as she takes the given advice into account
>and I repeat dad's advice
>"Remember to just squeeze the trigger - don't yank it like it's your dick"
>she jolts and set the gun off
>before I have a chance to walk the misplaced advice back she's in my face yelling
>"YOU WISH FAGGOT BOY! YOU'VE PROBABLY BEEN LOOKING FOR ONE THIS ENTIRE TIME!"
>I can see down the smoking end of the barrel
>"YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HEAR THAT SHIT!? I BET YOU THINK YOU'RE ORIGINAL"
>"Cynthia"
>she lowers the gun but continues her tirade
>"IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME THING! "POST COCK! WHERE COCK!? ARE YOU A TRAP?"
>"Cynthia!"
>"THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD BE ABOVE THAT SHIT, BUT Y-"
>"CYNTHIA!"
>the raised voice sends her a step back and I point downrange
>"Look"
>about 5 yards away a small paper target sports a fresh hole slightly off center but still in the red
>whether accidental or intentional - a bullseye is a bullseye
>and her demeaner does a complete 180
>"Well well well, how do you like that?"
>"Good shot"
>"That's right, easy mark, bet you'd have to try all day to hit that"
>"I usually do, blackpowder is a tricky beast"
>"Yeah, well, you're just jealous"
>"It was a good shot"
>"Seethe"
>I walk down to retrieve the target
>but before I can pluck the paper from its stand, Cynthia comes running, gun in hand
>"Hold-up, we have to take a picture, remember?"
>"I thought we'd grab one after w-"
>"Nice try! I want to take one right here - to commemorate how I SMOKED you in target shooting"
>"I didn't even fire a round off"
>"Yeah, cuz you know you can't beat that!"
>she runs a finger under her nose in an exaggerated manner, no doubt parroting some scene scene in a weebshit cartoon
>"Alright"
>before I can pull out my phone she's already retreived hers
>"Use MY phone, don't want you 'losing' the picture 'accidentally' or anything"
>"Makes no difference to me"
>"Cope"

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Greene_Anon_retard.png, 69KiB, 695x571

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:38:54 No.68194967 Report

Quoted By: >>68195027

>>68194936
>as I clumsily maneuver both of us and the shot target into frame, she reaches into her jacket to withdrawal something
>a shittily wrapped cigar
>"You smoke?"
>"No, it's for the picture - it's dumb, you wouldn't get it"
>I swiftly retrieve a lighter
>"Capone"
>"What!? How do y-"
>"C'mon, you wore that in middle school. Hell, I'm surprised it still f-"
>I pump the brakes before committing to such a fatal mistake
>I had almost remarked that it still fit
>"-found within your closet"
>she buys the hasty patchwork correction
>"Yeah, well, I just forgot to throw it out and needed something to wear"
>"And the cigar?"
>"Maybe I smoke, you ever thought of that?"
>"Makes sense, forgot your lighter?"
>She pretends to check her pockets
>"Shit, guess I forgot it"
>checkmate
>I wave the lighter in front of her
>"Well, we wouldn't want you in the picture with an unlit cigar"
>visible hesitation washes over her
>but she refuses to admit defeat and takes the lighter
>she cooks the tip of the cigar and gives it a hard pull
>straight into her lungs
>hacking and sputtering, she billows waves of cigar smoke
>"You aren't supposed to inhale i-"
>"Now you tell me!" she manages between coughs
>"Here, give me that"
>I take the cigar and tuck it in my beak, giving the tip a second pass with the lighter and puffing it gently
>the tobacco is dry and it burns on the hotter side, but its still good
>after the cigar gets burning, I give it a final puff and offer it to Cynthia
>"You smoke?"
>"Only a few times, with Gruncle Moe"
>"He's so real for that, he gave me this hat"
>she gives the crime lord fedora a tip as she takes the cigar
>but stops before drawing it to eye the end warily
>"Oh come on, what are you worried about, cooties?"
>"You wish"
>with uncertainty she inserts the cigar and performs a few trial puffs
>but it gets going
>I raise the camera, getting her, myself, the target, and the gun in frame

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Cynthia_papers_check.jpg, 20KiB, 209x389

Anonymous Mon 12 Aug 2024 01:40:50 No.68195027 Report

Quoted By: >>68195218 >>68195329

>>68194967
>right as I press the shutter button Cynthia coughs from an overzealous inhale
>the sound shocks me and I jump a bit more than I'd like to admit
>"Fuck - shit! Think there's smoke in my fucking eye!"
>the new smoker takes a break from the cigar, passing it back to me
>"How'd the pic turn out?"
>"Uh, I don't think you want t-"
>"Gimme! My phone!"
>the disappointment is immediate
>Cynthia's contorted face makes her look like a park rapist suffering from allergies
>my shock, more than I'd consider photogenic or masculine, is easily mistaken as fear
>the flintlock happens to line up with the back of my head
>and the pirate cosplay is the cherry on top
>"Maybe... we should take another?"
>her grim expression peels off of the phone and up to me
>we bask in the afterglow of shared cringe
>"Greene, I don't think people like us are meant for photos"
>"That's the only sane thing you've said so far"
>after our unspoken pact, we walk back to the shitbox, throwing the duffel bag in the trunk
>even though I don't feel like shooting anymore I'd still say I had fun
>Cynthia seems oddly content as she takes to some forum and vigorously types out some long winded message
>"Alright, so bookstore next?"
>oh fuck me
>"Do we have t-"
>"Yes, you said we would - no take backs"
>"What if I just drove you back to Stella's?"
>"What if I posted this on /k/?"
>she brandishes the displayed picture inches from my face in a taunting manner
>"Do it, I'll tell them it's me and the OF hooker I hired as a range bitch"
>to my surprise she takes it on the chin
>"Bet you'd like that, faggot. Bookstore - now"
>"New chapter of One Piece coming out?"
>"Fuck you, drive"
FIN

And another thing, I'm sorry about writing that - ah, you know the rest by now