Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 05:43:15 No.67887539 Report

>>67887498
You know what I'm gonna ask for already babyyyyy.
Doomer Amber origins and whatnot. Please!

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 05:55:19 No.67887777 Report

Quoted By: >>67887866 >>67887929 >>67888029

>>67887539
Already promised so we'll start here.

>I stand right inside my pretty shit little apartment. Door just barely closed behind me. My eyes unfocused and on the ground. Guitar case already in it's spot near the door. I swallow and shakily reach down for my phone.
>His name's at the top of the list. The only person I ever text anymore. That or Nick when she's got a spot for me to fill. Bless her.
>My hands move lightning fast.
>"can you come over?"
>I wander into the kitchen and pull whatever disgusting leftovers I've got. The phone buzzes as I'm choking down some couple-day-old takeout.
>"sure."
>I mentally prepare how I'm going to approach this. I pull my wallet out and look at the faded photo. A ptero-infant, a small bandana around her head. My heart seizes.
>Not too long and my phone buzzes again. He's here.
>I wander over to the door and pull it open. There's Anon. Gruff and dead-eyes, same as he ever is. I wave him right in, he's already teetering a bit. Can't tell if it's just his leg or if he's been drinking already. Probably both.
>He finds his way right onto the couch. Out comes a flask. Drinking it was.
>I plant myself next to him, taking the offered drink and look over him once more. Scraggled beard, thin frame and skeletal figure. Not too dissimilar from me.
>"So what's up?" his voice is hoarse and gravely. A lifetime of smoking has torn his throat to pieces. I swallow.
>"I want to meet Amber." a deathly silence hangs as I speak the phrase. He sighs deeply.
>"You think she wants to see you? Really?" His voice is ever-so-slightly angry.
>"...I know." I stare down at my filthy wood floor. Energy out of my words.
>He sighs again, taking another big swig.
>"How would you even meet her?" I'm passed a drink again.
>"Nick's kid goes to class with her."
>"Oh."
>We sit in another uncomfortable silence.
>"Would you want to come along?" I hopefully shoot the prospect at him. His jaw clenches.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 06:06:44 No.67888029 Report

Quoted By: >>67888237

>>67887777
>There's no response. I watch as the thought plays behind his eyes, sunken and deep as they may be.
>"No." it's cold and empty. I sort of already knew.
>We sit quietly and pass the flask back and forth a few times. No small talk breaks the icy atmosphere. I hang my head as it starts to swirl and think a while about our daughter.
>Had to give her up. Couldn't take care of her. The smart decision. The hard decision. Still leaves a hole right in my heart.
>I lean back and stare at the ceiling. The man beside me matches my stance.
>"I miss her too." I'm surprised as I hear Anon's voice, quiet and contemplative.
>"I just don't think she needs us, me, spoiling her life."
>I swallow and play with the notion. He's not wrong. I have no right to do this. No right to show her exactly where she came from. Maybe it'll help her not follow my footsteps. Maybe it won't.
>We spend the rest of the night just finishing the paint-thinner. I consider for the briefest moment of dragging him to bed. Start the cycle again. The flame, the fights, the cold break. Over and over.
>He'd probably just stomp the idea out. He was rather clear the last time, somewhere near 5 years ago that all we do is hurt each other.
>My heart still aches as I quietly douse the thought. After a while he leaves. I can't bring myself to say anything more. To attempt another spark. It's too long gone.
>I make a note to talk to Jack, or whatever his name was again. I'm going to see her. With or without Anon.
>My alarm blares and rips my eyes open as I lay down in bed. Back to the grind, horrible headache ringing deep. I sit up and go right for the water in the kitchen. Helps.
>Dressed and off to work I ride, mindless automation as I go right to the little market. Have to keep the lights on somehow. One gig every other week isn't nearly enough to keep me alive. Or my smoking habit in full-force.
cont.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 06:17:08 No.67888237 Report

Quoted By: >>67888570

>>67888029
>I take a drag from the stick, popping the little menthol pill as I do so. Out comes my phone to kill some time now that I'm on break. To my surprise I have not one, but two messages.
>First is Nick just confirming I can come talk to Jack anytime. Next is Anon. It surprises me.
>"Text me when you go to meet her."
>I stare down at it. A thumbs up is sent in response. A second response is sent to Nick to confirm I'd like to hang out today after work.
>I thought he'd meant what he said last night. Did something change?
>I run the thought through my head all work long. It's worrying. Right as soon as the clock notes my shift ends I stomp the gas right to Nick's place. I feel a creeping unease about this whole thing starting to seep in. I have to do this before the inspiration leaves me or is stomped out by my lifestyle.
>I pull right in front of the little cookie-cutter townhouse. Nick's already waiting for me as the door swings open, her usual attire of baggy tee and whatever clean pants she has. A quick wave and a pair of eyes peeking out from behind her.
>As I slam the creaky car door shut I hear her call.
>"So what's up?"
>I peek my head up and find her gesturing me in. As I follow I make conversation.
>"Just finishing a conversation we started the other night. Nothing serious."
>She shrugs, "Alrighty then. Call me if you need something."
>I nod to her and meet the kid's gaze. He's looking over me with a mix of curiosity and worry.
>As Nick steps out I make it clear what exactly I need from him.
>"I need you to help me speak with Amber." It's a command, weak as it may be.
>He fidgets. "Uh, okay? But why?" Thankfully he's malleable.
>"Uh, family matters. Thanks, kid."
>He nods.
>"Here-" I pull my phone out. "-text me when you've done it. Just pick a park nearby if you can." I wave along and feel the anxiety kicking up.
>"O-Okay." he pulls up his own phone and I give him the digits as he taps away.
cont.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 06:33:00 No.67888570 Report

Quoted By: >>67888649 >>67888772

>>67888237
>"By the way Amber was sort've sad when I told her."
>"...she was?" it twitches my heart.
>He nods.
>The most vile and disgusting feeling sits right into the center of my heart. Hope. For just a moment a ray of hope hits me.
>I try my absolute best to move it away, ignore it. It doesn't budge. I know a thing or two about hope and what comes after. I dread it.
>I go ahead and cut the kid loose, calling to Nick that I'm off. I get a grunt of acknowledgement from a few rooms off.
>I march right out and sit in my barely-running clunker. I feel my heart pounding heavy and fast. I rip out a cig and light up, taking a drag.
>Doesn't help one bit. I drive home, pulling a hit of carfe out from under the seat. Still doesn't help.
>Alcohol, pain killers, television nothing stops the quake. It quietly asks me questions I don't want to answer. It's unsilenceable.
>How do I tell her that I'm a walking piece of ptero-garbage? How her dad is just as bad as me. How I keep her damned baby photo in my wallet.
>It keeps me awake all night. The alarm rings as my dry eyes blink a few times. Same routine as it always was.
>It's cut short as I get another text. Jack works fast. It's happening this afternoon. My heart seizes. I wasn't ready. I don't if I'd ever be. I relay the information to Anon. Another text hits me like a bullet.
>"I'll be there."
>The quaking gets worse. Much, much worse. I struggle to hold on. Another couple of cigs down. I start to reach for more. I feel a sickly feeling rearing. I hold back. As best I can.
>Work is a blur. My coworkers try to talk to me. I might as well be mute for all they got out of me.
>I check the clock every minute. Over. And Over. And over. A minute ticks by. I check again. One more minute ticks by.
>I count down each minute, each second. 30 minutes left. 20. 10. 5. 1.
>The second the hand ticks over I sprint out. I get worried looks, call outs checking on me. It's worthless I'm already at the park mentally.
cont.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 06:44:47 No.67888772 Report

Quoted By: >>67888977

>>67888570
>I open my gruugle maps app again, nervously checking the route's locked, the right park's selected. For the thirtieth time it hasn't changed.
>I text Jack and Anon letting them know I'll be there as soon as I can.
>And I meant it. No traffic sign, traffic light or even terrified pedestrian could possibly stop me.
>I see her shape. As I pull into a parking spot I spy the wings from here. Hope rears it's head again.
>I stay seated as I turn the car off, peering out. Just a few paces off and I'll meet her. Just a few steps and I get to tell her what I feel. Get to hear who she is.
>Suddenly my legs won't move. Hesitation strikes deep. What if she hates me?
>I swallow what feels like a rock. Words of fear and apprehension keep playing on repeat. I just have to get out there and face the music. I can't force my legs to work. I start to hyperventilate.
>My vision is narrowing. I feel my heart racing. I'm having a panic attack. My body aches, my head pounds. I pant and wheeze.
>A knock on the window stills my blood. I shoot an eye over and see a shaved face. I blink.
>It's Anon. He's not wearing his usual moth-eaten rotting clothes but instead a borderline acceptable tee and jeans combo. He's peering in.
>My hand pulls the handle and I find myself standing.
>"You alright?"
>I nod no. He shrugs and sighs.
>"Me neither. Let's go." I match his gait as we approach. We're coming from behind the two. Jack notices us first as he points his eyes at us.
>Amber turns her head and my soul leaves my body. She's gorgeous. She got all the good parts of me and hopefully none of the bad. She looks healthy and well. A mix of relief and pain hits my body.
>There's nothing to be said yet. I take a seat across the table from her, or rather Anon leads me to it as my legs have mutinied.
>We stare at each other. Amber's bright orange eyes looking me up and down. I notice a worry splay across them as she takes me in. Hope falters.
cont.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 06:58:05 No.67888977 Report

Quoted By: >>67889192

>>67888772
>The budging makes my mouth move. "Hi."
>"Hello." her voice is cautious.
>"I'm... I'm Lucy." It comes out shaky. I feel the shake hit the rest of me as well.
>"You're my...mom?" I nod.
>"And I'm Anon, your dad." he speaks softly. I find my hand grasping his leg for dear life.
>She looks at the two of us a while. I can't quite read how she feels but it's not instantly disgust.
>Jack, looking extremely uncomfortable, finds his moment.
>"I'll my myself scarce. Come get me when you're done." he quickly nods to Amber and does as promised.
>And now it's just us. The pieces of a family.
>Anon speaks, seemingly trying to help the conversation along.
>"Are you doing well?"
>She nods. "Yeah."
>Amber takes a gulp of air deciding it's her time to share a bit.
>"I'm in highschool, guess you two know."
>She keeps going as I listen with the intent to never let her voice out of my head.
>"I'm on the track team and am on the honor roll." her vigor empties out.
>I take this part to tell her the truth. I can't lie to her, even by omission.
>"I work in retail and play in a band sometimes." I gesture to my tattoos, several band logos coating me.
>"You play in a band?" her intrigue lights my heart aflame.
>I nod "I do."
>"Do you have any recordings?" I just about jump out of my scales. I fumble my phone, almost dropping it as I do. As I tack away through my ancient recordings, trying to find an acceptable one Anon takes his turn.
>"I part time in data entry, tax seasons. I'm ex-navy and draw disability otherwise." He sighs.
>Amber gives his limbs a look, checking for one missing. I note a flash of pain on his face. He's used to that glancing but not from his daughter.
>I finally get my phone out and show her something acceptable. She watches intently and I hold my breath.
>She lets the full song play out and taps it closed as the thing goes quiet.
>"You're really good."
cont.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 07:12:08 No.67889192 Report

Quoted By: >>67889397

>>67888977
>I almost fall apart. First time I've heard that in a long, long time. She glances up and shoots me a bit of a smile.
>I feel one split my face as well. I'm the happiest I've been in years and just the smallest kindness she offers. Even if it's just cursory.
>Unfortunately, the hard topics have to be brought up sooner rather than later. And Anon seems keen on the former.
>"You can probably guess why we had to give you up." his speaking and face are both like lead.
>She freezes.
>"We thought it was the best for you. Sorry."
>He shuts up now. Amber looks down, a bit hurt. It tears my heart out and stomps it seeing that.
>I grit my teeth and force the words out. "We just wanted to let you know who we are. Kill the wondering, even if it's not pretty." I start to drone into silence as I end the sentence.
>To my absolute despair I find her hand come out and touch on mine. Her eyes watering and pure.
>"Thank you."
>It's more than I can handle as big wet tears, ones I'd thought had stopped falling long ago start to stain my pants. I never move my gaze from hers.
>I'm not alone, either. I hear sniffling from my left as Anon reaches out as well: The three of us sharing contact.
>But that's it. We finish our emotional outburst and find it's time to separate. Amber's got her own life to live, just this being in it this much is already too much. We stand, almost at the ready to leave and lock eyes.
>I want to beg her to keep in touch, to send me pictures or anything. I hold it in. I find my hand locking into Anon's.
>A single muscle twitches and I prepare for her to turn and leave, lost to me forever. Instead the muscle sends her forward.
>I'm hugged.
>Any remaining composure I'd had leaves me as I sob. It's an ugly, hideous crying that I wished to have never shown her but it's too late.
cont.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 07:24:09 No.67889397 Report

Quoted By: >>67889466

>>67889192
>After a few moments she pulls away, her own face wet.
>"Do you have social media? Face-rock?"
>I nod and start to feel overwhelmed again.
>"I'll add you, okay?" If I was to open my mouth all would follow is a sorrowful wail. I don't. She gets another nod.
>Motion from my side shows Anon's sharing the sentiment. A smile, small and weak from her blasts my sense once more.
>And with that she takes her leave. I stand still, watching her approach Jack and leaving. Unable to avert my eyes nor move a single muscle.
>Hope burns. Hope tears through me. Hope finds what it's looking for.
>Something changes. I can't quite put my finger on it but I can feel it's effects immediately. I feel what I'd thought was lost. Drive.
>Hope dusts off a part of me left to rot. A deep want. A want to be happy.
>Gears turn and my mind sets true. I didn't think people could change. Could grow and really upset who they are deep down.
>I don't think that anymore.
>I turn to Anon who's looking at me a bit surprised. My voice clear and loud makes my thoughts known.
>"I want to make a bet."
>"Wh- A bet?"
>"A bet. And a promise." The words flow easily.
>"...alright. What?"
>"I'm going to stop... all this. No more cigs, carfe, drinking the lot. All of it."
>"Fang..." he's trying to let me down. Not this time.
>"I know I've said it before. This time I mean it. This time I want something."
>He blinks at me.
>I answer before it's questioned. "A family."
>A specter of pain and hurt strikes him.
>"And I know you do, too."
>He starts to get upset again. "Fang we've tried!"
>"And that's where the bet comes in." He clamps his mouth shut at my sudden force.
>"If I can do this, keep everything goo and be better. Actually CHANGE then we'll give it one last try."
>He tenses. "I don't know, Fang."
cont.

Anonymous Thu 01 Aug 2024 07:28:43 No.67889466 Report

Quoted By:

>>67889397
>"If you won't do this for yourself or even for me just please, try for her sake." I plead and look up at him. I watch a slow acknowledgement come over him.
>"Okay. Six months. If after six months you're clean and doing well I'll..." he trails, taking a moment.
>"We'll do it." he offers the smallest of smiles.
>I pull him into a hug, rocking a bit as my insides have caught alight. I've tried and failed. I'm beaten and battered and worse for wear. But this time I've got something that won't leave. This time I've got an unquenchable hope.

Fin. Gotta end on a high note

>>67887515
Next, break first. Whew.