Happy Taffy Tuesday, Snootfrens. Enjoy some green.
>“Can I take it off now?”
>“Just another minute, Tiff. We’re almost at the front of the line.”
>“It’s really tight across the chest. Are you sure you got the right size?”
>“Oh yeah, babe. I got the right size.”
>Tiffany fidgets nervously, picking at the bottom of her blindfold.
>It’s a beautiful Saturday and you’ve decided to take your girlfriend out on a date to the local boardwalk. It isn’t all that impressive, but it has some fun carnival rides, attractions, and food stands that are great for killing an afternoon.
>Best of all, this morning there was a package waiting for you in the mailbox. You knew exactly what it was without even opening it. It was the gift you’d gotten for Tiffany.
>You’re so excited to give it to her.
>The moment the ad had shown up on your Snootbook page you’d known it would be amazing. You’d never slammed the purchase button so fast in your life.
>Waiting for the perfect moment has been tantamount to torture. Tiffany had looked at you funny and asked why you’re wearing your jacket even though it’s scorching out today. You’d made up a lame lie about how you had read online about how this was the best way to get dihydrogen monoxide out of your system and its benefits for gray matter retention.
>She hadn’t bought it, she’s too smart, but she didn’t ask any more questions either. It wasn’t even close to the dumbest thing you’ve claimed this month. Or this week.
>Hand in hand with your lovely partner, you’ve been sweating your ass off strolling along the boardwalk with her. Taking in the sights and trying to dodge as many obnoxious, sugar charged kids as you could.
>Then, off in the distance, you’d spotted it. The photo booth.
>After casually leading her towards it, you’d whipped the package out from within the jacket pocket with an overly dramatic flourish.
>“Here, babe. I got you something.”
Cont.