Finding One's True Self Part 16

Careful what you Wish for...
By Xan Steel

Altair entered into his own mind after he had finally relaxed enough to be able to check on Rubicant. Here in this mental world  everything was monochrome. Even so Altair laid out a nice beach like scene to relax in. After he completed it he brought in Rubicant. To no surprise he was unconscious. Through truth be told, if it did somehow electrocute him, then resting was the best option for his mind to heal, as he laid him on the warm sand at the shoreline of his mental world.

Altair played a number of scenarios in his mind. He would admit that he's not the wisest male. He's made mistakes before and didn't what to repeat them. The thought running thorough his mind was, 'Should he truthfully tell Rubicant what happened, or should he hide the fact the GrandMaster brought him here?' He sighed a bit thinking that playing twenty questions might be better. Get to know him, and then decided whether to drop a heavy subject like that on him or not. Even though he knew Rubicant wanted to know what brought him here.

Daniel moaned painfully next to him as he stirred a bit. His Rubicant image slowly faded leaving him as Daniel before Altair. Altair was surprised by this, but he remembered Julyna saying he was different and relaxed. Daniel turned onto his back and looked up at the monochrome sky. "Ugh, where am I?" "You're in my mind Rubicant." Daniel turned to see Altair sitting next to him. "Was it that bad?" "Well, your unit was going to reboot, and according to Juren, if you had still been anchored to it, it would have killed you." Altair said in a somber tone. Daniel started sitting up, "That probably would have been for the better." That was not the response Altair had expected and was take back by it. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, Maria would've slapped me for it if she were here." "Your Te'dar?" Daniel nodded. 

Daniel looked down at himself and saw that he wasn't Derlenian and that he was naked. "Well, you now know that I'm not one of you, much to my shame, also, why am I naked?" As Altair stood up to dust himself, Daniel noticed he too was naked. "In order to conserve my mental energy during your encapsulation. Things like cloths and color I leave out. Also we are likely to have a few visitors to help me by sharing their mental energy with me.” Daniel blushed at the thought of others seeing him like this. "How long is this going to take?" "About seven hours." 

They sat there together for a while until Altair spoke. "You know, after hearing about you from Julyna, I wanted to get to know you more. Though I must admit, this is not how I imagined it going." Daniel gave a light laugh. "It's amazing how those old saying actually come true." He said. "Oh what's that?" "Careful what you wish for." Altair laughed heartily. "Yeah, it never comes quite the way you expect." 

They sat there for a while again, until Altair began to talk. "May I ask you a personal question?" "Sure." Altair told him that Julyna had said that he was on a journey and he wanted to know why. Daniel without even really giving his response any thought, went on to explain his life to him, and finally his reason for leaving Earth. Hearing how his life as a youngling had been hit Altair deeply. He explained to Daniel that it was either so rare, or it never happened among his people, because they consider their young sacred. Not in a spiritual manner, but in terms of passing on the elders essence and knowledge. For them it was a type of immortality. He went on to explain that any loss of a youngling especially at birth was damaging to their psyche, because they could sense their young before they were born. Daniel was surprised with hearing that, and how much it effected him. Hearing how much love and care went into their children, and remembering that he got very little from his own, outside of Maria, it caused him to weep in front of Altair.

Over the course of two hours of talking, they shared their experiences in life with each other. It amazed them both with how close their lives mirrored each other after they left home. Though Daniel started to notice how tired he looked, and how much harder it was for him to concentrate. Even though he was bigger than him, he pulled Altair over to lean on him, to help him relax. A few minutes later, Julyna was the first to arrive. 

She came over and put her forehead to his transferring her energy to him. Daniel could see his mood pick up, as he started looking better. She leaned back looking more tired then he was, as she spoke. "Listen it's just going to be me, the counselor, and one other that is giving you the energy to maintain this encapsulation. The last hour is going to be the hardest for you, so you need to be as minimal as possible. Don't over do it." She finished as she leaned in and kissed him, and then noticing they both, as well as her, were naked. She give an approving nod and smile while looking at Altair. "Had I known you wanted to get to know him in this manner, I would've asked to watch." Altair gave her a questioning look before it turned to embarrassment. "Wait, nothing's happened between us. We're just talking." He looked at Daniel. "Rubi tell her." Altair's eyes went wide as he referred to Daniel as Rubi instead of Rubicant, which is how females would refer to males they were close too. Daniel just laughed as he leaned back a bit, and decided to follow Julyna's lead. As he leaned in and kissed his cheek. "It's been hard to resist you handsome." "That's not fair to ganging up on me in this condition." As Altair gave a pouty face. Julyna and Daniel laughed again. "I'm just picking on you sweetie." Julyna said as she hugged him. After a few moments of cuddling with them both she bid them farewell, as she needed to rest to regain her mental strength, and vanished. 

Daniel decided to ask what she meant by being minimal. "It would mean this." He said showing a now dark room with a single light over them. It was devoid of any niceties. After a moment it changed back. "I'd rather have this and try to hold on as long as I can, as it is more relaxing." "I can understand that, but please if it gets to be to much, don't hesitate to change it. The last thing I want, is you hurt by this." Altair nodded as he continued to lean on Daniel to conserve energy.

Another hour passed as Altair asked how Daniel came to know about his species. He began to explain he was into anthropomorphism, and how he designed his character. Little did he realize he was modeling it after a species that actually existed. "I wasn't sure how I come up with the idea I just knew I liked both deers and wolves." To which he then tried to see if he could project them in Altair's mental world. It both surprised and shocked him when they appeared. "Sorry I've been reading your thoughts on how they looked and projected them for you." "Oh it's all right. For a minute I thought I had done it." He continued to explain their differences to Altair, and why he liked them both. In this way Altair got a better understanding of Daniel and how his mind worked. It wasn't anything like when him and Julyna mated when she let their minds blend, but it was enough.

As it came close to the forth hour. Altair was looking more stressed than before. Luckily the counselor showed up and transferred his mental energy. Altair looked more relaxed this time around, which made Daniel think he was mentally stronger. He then turned to Daniel, "Well you are quite different it would seem. I wonder if that's why I was having trouble trying to enter your mind." "I'll be honest, I don't know what happened to make it so hard for you." Daniel replied. "Eh, it happens from time to time, I'm just glad Julyna was able to help you. Also I have some unfortunate news." Both Altair and Daniel looked at him. "Sargent Tarina, the female who attacked you, is the last helper." Daniel just looked down at himself as Altair sat up. "I don't think that wise right now." He said. "Sadly I wish there was another, but no one else wishes to get involved in this." Concluded the counselor. "Then I refuse to except her here." Altair cared enough to know that seeing her again could cause Daniel more mental damage he was still healing from. Daniel spoke softly. "Altair please, I understand your concern, but I will not let you jeopardize yourself for me. I can handle it, so please let her in when the time comes." Altair turned to look at Daniel, and saw a look of concern for him. "Are you sure Rubi?" Daniel nodded back without hesitation. Altair conceded to him and told the counselor to allow her to come. He then bid them farewell and vanished.

Altair leaned his back on the tree they had been under. He could see Daniel running innumerable scenarios through his mind, each making him more and more nervous. He pulled him into a gentle hug. "I can still refuse her, if you want me too?" Daniel just shook his head no. "I need to face this." He sniffled. Altair sensed him falling rapidly at the ideas that were going through his head. He gently turned his head to face him. "Rubi look at me." Daniel looked up at him. "You're not alone in this." He gently wiped away his tears that had started forming, and did the unthinkable. He leaned in and kissed him deeply. Daniel was surprised and shocked, but he didn't bulk or push him away. He accepted and returned the kiss. Even though it had been a long time since he gave it any thought. Daniel had at one point thought of 'jumping the fence' so to speak to see what the other side was like. He pulled Altair in closer. His mind had now completely forgotten about Tarina. Altair gently broke the kiss and leaned back. His handpaw gently brushed passed Daniels erect member, as he looked down at it. It was very different looking than his own. He looked back into Daniels eyes and saw his furless cheeks become a deeper monochrome shade. "Perhaps another time we could indulge in this desire. Besides, even though I know it sounded like joking. Julyna really would like to watch, and that's one enjoyment I wouldn't deprive her of." Altair said while rubbing his cheek. Daniel nodded in embarrassment as Altair pulled him into his lap to cuddle and give him some comfort. 

Daniel turned to Altair, "Um, is it common among your people to have mates of the same sex?" He asked nervously. "It's not just with my people, but every species in our galaxy." He went on to explain how it started with the colonies, and having multiple mates. Sometimes it was one male to many females or vice versa. So for them it was natural, with the added side effect of preventing cheating. Daniel nodded and leaned back into Altair's arms and body, cuddling softly. It wasn't to long after that he started to drift slowly to sleep.

In the last hour Daniel was woken up by Altair's sudden body movements. He turned to look and saw him gently jerking. "Altair?" "S. Sorry I'm waiting f. for this last person t. to give me energy." Daniel looked around and saw the scene hadn't changed. He got behind him and leaned his body against himself to hold up Altair. "Al I have you, go minimal please." "B. But it's relaxing." Daniel pleaded with him. "Please go minimal. Julyna and I don't want you over doing it okay?" Altair gave in as he didn't feel like struggling against a friend pleading with him. It helped more than he expected as his body settled down letting him relax again. "Thank you." Daniel said as he hugged him gently.  They waited for what seems like eternity for Tarina to show up. It wasn't until Altair started getting the shakes again when they got a visit from Julyna. "I'm here sweetie." She said in a worried tone as she leaned in touching their foreheads together and gave him more of her energy. After a few minutes he came too. "Wha... What happened?" "She refused at the last minute to help you. So the counselor gave me the rest of his energy to pass on to you." Julyna said. Daniel thought it was likely for the best that she refused. As much as he would have liked to gotten it over and done with, it really was to soon. Julyna was busy petting Altair's forehead to help him relax. "The repairs are almost complete. I'm proud of you for holding on this long sweetie." She said as he smiled at her.