Chapter Sixteen



The next morning, I had been up for about as long as I'd been able to sleep... which is to say, hardly at all, when Cuthbert entered. He was, as per usual, dressed serviceably, but lacking the eye for fashion that would mark him as a Pedigree. After his greeting, he looked at me for a moment before asking, "Are you feeling quite well this morning, sir?"

I had been glancing past him at the door to the room he and Will shared. I returned my gaze to him and gave a chipper smile. "I feel all the better to be graced with your cheerful presence, old man." He gave me the sour expression I'd hoped for and I chuckled slightly. Again, I glanced at the door. It was odd for the Akita to be late for breakfast. "Is Master Linden sleeping in?"

My old friend gave me a slightly searching look for an instant, then he recovered from what I took as surprise. He straightened his cuffs in that fussy way he had and said, "He left about twenty minutes ago, sir."

That cut through my worries as to whether or not he was still upset with me. Gone? He hadn't said a word to me. "What?" I asked, trying to keep my sudden panic out of my voice. "Where did he go?"

Cuthbert again looked closely at me and said, "He said that he was to have breakfast with his network, sir. Didn't he tell you?"

I didn't want to get into this with him right then, so I did what I knew would stop any further questions he might have on the matter. I grinned lewdly and said, "He was a little... distracted, last night." 

As I had been sure would be the case, he huffed mildly and turned to look out the window for a moment. I quickly pulled my emotions under control. Will had said that he would act as though nothing had happened and I had no reason to believe that he'd run off. I trusted him as I did no other man. He truly had been distracted the night before, so perhaps he really was having breakfast with this Victor. There was no way for me to verify the matter, I'd never met his network friends here in the capitol and didn't even know Victor's address. I had business that I needed to take care of, but I would return to the inn around lunchtime and see if he was back then.

When Delilah was saying her good mornings a few minutes later, she had been disappointed at Will's absence and gave me a worried look. I did my best not to let my own concerns show as I reassured her. We ate our breakfast in the dining room that morning and Cuthbert said that he was planning on returning to the harbor and continuing on organizing things for the armada there. I told him I'd meet him there, but I needed to stop in the public harbor first to examine Commander Krovopuskov's fleet. 

"Sir?" the wolfhound started hesitantly. "I'm sure you've already considered this, but how well will an Irregular fleet do in an armada of Pedigrees?"

"As well as we allow them to," I answered firmly. "They are agreeing to put their lives on the line for this mission and I intend that they get every bit of recognition for it as any of us." I waited for him to say something, but he thought the better of it, after a moment. "I will not tolerate specism or bigotry to keep them from lending what aid they are able."

He looked at me coolly for an instant before clearing his throat and saying, "Yes, sir. But, I meant how well equipped do you expect them to be... compared to the Pedigree fleets? Or do you simply intend to use them as shields for our more important ships?"

"In answer to your first question: That is why I'm meeting with him today," I gave him a look of thanks for not allowing his own prejudices to get in the way. "As for your second: I consider every ship in our armada important... including the Irregulars." I held his eyes for several seconds before saying, "Understood?"

"Yes, sir," he returned promptly. He then held my gaze for a second before adding, "I hope you are able to impress that upon Captain Shaw. He will be commanding the armada until we arrive in the South Seas."

"Not quite," Delilah interrupted. We both turned to her in surprise. She smiled, pleased at having seen the contradiction that Cuthbert and I seemed to have overlooked. "Captain Shaw will be commanding the armada until they arrive at Admiral Cross's location," She explained and I suddenly realized she was right. "At which point," she pressed on, "he will surrender command to Cross." She then looked from the one of us to the other in amusement, as if to emphasize her point.

I chuckled, allowing her her victory. "And, unless his attitudes have shifted since I've known him, he will share my feelings regarding the importance of the Irregular's ships," I said, reinforcing her point. I reached out a hand, placing it on her wrist and gently stroking the back of her hand with my thumb.

As we ate, I noticed Delilah giving me an occasional surreptitious glance, as though worried I wasn't telling her something. I tried to distract her by telling her a story of when the fleet was in the South Seas and aiding Cross, before Admiral Clark joined us. Unfortunately, she had already heard that story and she seemed to realize what I'd been doing in telling it. From the way her eyes would flick to the empty seat where Will would normally have sat, I knew she'd guessed what I wasn't saying. It would have been cruel to go off on my business without trying to set her fears to rest, so after we'd finished eating, I returned to my rooms with her, while Cuthbert left for the harbor.

She made to close my door once again, in violation of the Inn's policy, but I signaled her to leave it. I sat in a chair at the small table and she came to join me, sitting in the seat closest to mine. Her eyes were silently asking all of her questions, expressing her worries. I reached out and she took the hand I offered. I wasn't certain how to begin, so (of course) I did so badly.

"Despite him making it clear that he didn't want me to," I explained hurriedly, "I went to the Linden Estate last night and spoke with the House Steward."

After a moment, she took her hand back and sat staring at me. Thankfully, it wasn't a look of recrimination or accusation she was giving me, just a probing gaze as she tried to understand. "I know how much you want to understand him," she said, cautiously. "And I'm sure you felt you might be able to help him in some way by doing this. Still, if he made it clear that he didn't want this... may I ask why you felt compelled to go against his wishes?"

Her words hurt more than most floggings I'd endured when I was younger and wilder. There was no malice in them, just an honest disappointment that tore at me in a way I couldn't describe. "I thought that if I could just speak with the man, I might be able to help Will. I can see how much pain he is still in... I just want to do something."

"You hate feeling helpless," she said, hitting her mark unerringly. "I want to help him as well, but I try to do so in a way that doesn't hurt him MORE." She watched me for a few seconds sympathetically. Then, she frowned slightly. "How did you even know where the Linden Estate is?"

At that, my shame threatened to overwhelm me. I took a deep breath and said, "I asked him." She waited, without comment, just staring at me. "I told him that I knew it was in this area and..." My words halted, unable to say the rest.

She put a hand on my arm. "And?"

I looked into her eyes, frantic for her to understand how horrible I felt about this. "I told him that it hurt me that he wouldn't trust me."

Again, she removed her hand. Speechless, she stood and I feared for a moment that she would walk out, but she just stood, looking down at me. "You-" She hesitated, reigning in her temper. "You used guilt to force him to speak... implying he could trust you... and then, immediately BETRAYED that trust?"

It was only in that instant, when she had stated it so plainly that I understood what I had done. My God! What sort of monster was I? How could I so cruelly use someone I claimed to love? There are only a few times in my life, I know I have cried. I cried as I held Klaus Richter's lifeless body, before Mister Prescott had me arrested. I wept with relief and happiness when Klaus and Brook were born. I cried with sheerest joy the first time Will and I finally shared a kiss. But, at that moment, when I needed the tears so desperately, they refused to come... as though they too were ashamed of me.

I must have slid out of the chair, because I suddenly found myself on my knees and that I had wrapped my arms around her legs, as though begging her to understand. I stared up into her eyes despairingly. "I love him," I whimpered piteously. "I love him so much, but he's still suffering... and there's nothing I can do to help him!" 

She amazed me by slowly sinking to her knees and taking me in her arms. I pulled her to me as tightly as I could without hurting her, reveling guiltily in the feeling of unconditional comfort and love. "I know," she said, forcing her voice not to tremble. "I'm no fonder of feeling helpless than you." I couldn't help but chuckle as her humor caught me by surprise.

"What may I do?" I asked her. "He doesn't want to discuss it."

"You must start," she explained gently, "by trusting him."

"But, I do!" I insisted.

"You must trust him to know himself... and to know you. You must be willing to trust him to be the best judge of his feelings, even if those feelings tell him not to talk to you about certain things. You must TRUST he has reasons of his own." She caught my eye and held it for several seconds before continuing. "I know he wants to tell us about his past and what is still causing him the pain we see in him, but I trust him to tell us when he is ready. Until then, I do what I am able to comfort him and let him know how much we all love him."

"But, how do I face him tonight?" I did not add '...if he comes back?' as much as the thought was eating away at me. "I won't even be able to tell him how sorry I am. He said he wouldn't discuss this!"

"Did he say he wouldn't speak to me?" she asked with a knowing look. "Luther... You won't have to face him alone."



The ships in this part of the Public harbor had become more somber in appearance than the others I'd been passing, taking on the sleek form and visible armaments of vessels not meant to simply transport cargo or passengers. Unlike the Naval Harbor, this felt wild and somewhat lawless. The men here, were used to lives of danger, but there were far fewer canines and those I did see, were obviously not Pedigree. Krovopuskov was waiting for me near the start of the area where the harbor started to become less savory and the presence of peace-keeper troops became more pronounced. At his side was a boar, wearing armor that I recognized as Huudari in origin. The two were talking together out of the wind, by a building I saw was a Harbor Office. 

As I approached, the sable nudged his companion and motioned towards me. He smiled, showing needle sharp teeth. "Denholme," he started in his high-pitched alto, "This is Vanik Shchunik, commander of the Good Ship Strunt." I chuckled as I clasped the man's hand. It was an interesting name for a ship... being, as it was, a term for the fleshy part of a horse's tail. It had also become a slang term for a very different part of a male's anatomy.

"A pleasure to meet you," I said, giving the boar a nod. When he didn't say anything in return, I looked him over and said, "Spent some time in Mataa, eh?"

"Enough," he said blandly.

The sable snickered and when I glanced his way, he said, "Long enough that if he ever goes back, they'd lop off his head," with a roguish grin. At that, he leaned in conspiratorially and whispered (loud enough for his friend to hear), "He's a good man and a great commander. Just don't turn your back on him." The boar's expression hadn't changed in the slightest, but it was obvious they were used to that sort of teasing. 

"I have a friend just like that," I said, thinking of Grayson, as we started to walk toward their ships.

"Someone else for our little soiree?" 

I laughed for a moment. "No," I chuckled. "I think Admiral Reed will be sitting this dance out."

"Reed?" the boar said, startling me slightly. "The Carvecian pirate?"

"Privateer," I corrected with a smile.

At that, the big fellow finally laughed and after a second, said, "It's good to meet you."

I was somewhat surprised to see their fleet. There were five ships and they looked to be in good repair. They were each about the same size as the Demon and looked just as fast, but none of them had more than 20 cannons. As I was shown around, I saw that most of them could benefit from better sails as well. Having a similar ship in my own fleet, I knew how useful they could be... when they were at their prime.

I sat with all of the commanders for almost an hour, after I'd finished my inspection. Overall, I was pleased with what I'd seen, but there were one or two things I wanted to discuss with them. In the end, they had agreed to the proposal I made. We, the Pedigree members of the armada, would pay to upgrade their weaponry and sails. In return, they would join the armada and fight to save Cross, and would then keep the upgrades as payment.

After I said my goodbyes, I returned to the inn. There was no sign of Will in his room or mine. Captain Briggs was standing watch outside Delilah's door and gave me a pleasant nod as I passed him. I was beginning to get worried again as she looked up from where she was sitting, speaking with Klaus. Brook and Adele sat to one side of the room, feeding Hannah and Mattsi. When I gave my wife a hopeful look, she shook her head so slightly, I doubt the others even noticed it.

"Cuthbert still hasn't returned," she said, quietly. "And Master Linden sent word that he wouldn't be back until evening." 

I quickly masked my disappointment and worry. Brook spoke up from where she was sitting with her baby sister. "How are the Irregulars' ships, papa?"

I gave her a reassuring smile, grateful for the distraction. "They're in better shape than I'd feared. They need a bit of work though." I accepted the small vixen and Brook stood so I could sit and feed her. "After lunch, I thought I might stop at the Academy and pay Finn a visit. See if he'd be interested in consulting on this."

At that, Delilah laughed and gave me a sly look. "Oh, I think there may be a possibility he might."

Klaus chuckled and said, "When it comes to artillery, has Captain Reynalds ever let you down, papa?"

"He's not a captain any longer," Brook reminded her brother.

My son paused in thought for a moment. "It doesn't seem right to call him Master Reynalds."

"His current title is Assistant Instructor Reynalds," I reminded him. "And no, he's never let me down."

About two hours later, the servant the clerk had sent to show me to Finn's office, stopped and knocked on a door. After waiting a few moments, he repeated the knock, a bit more firmly. That was answered with a distracted sounding, "Yes?" from within. 

The servant pulled the door open enough of a sliver to poke his head through and said, "Assistant Instructor? There is a Lord Denholme to see you, sir."

I immediately heard the sound of drawers being wrenched open and books and papers hastily crammed into them. A few seconds later, I heard my former captain call, "Please show him in." The servant pulled the door open wide and bowed me into the room and announced me by name. The man actually seemed startled when I thanked him for his time, as he was closing the door behind me.

And there he was, beaming at me as he came around his desk to greet me. After he'd bade me welcome and we'd shaken hands, I took a few seconds to look around his office. He smiled as he waited for my appraisal. The wooden paneling was of a richly dark oak and the fireplace was made of a fine marble. Somber red drapes hung at the windows and the wall behind his functional desk was covered with a tapestry showing two ships engaged in combat. But there was still clear evidence as to its occupant's identity. A blackboard had been erected in one corner and was filled with scribbles and drawings; most of them depicting cannons or smaller guns. Also, hanging from a cabinet by the window was something the Border Collie appeared to have missed in his tidying of his office: a woman's stocking. Good old Finn...

"Very nice," I told him and he seemed relieved. "If this is standard quarters for an Assistant Instructor, I have to wonder what they give full professors."

"Actually, sir," he said almost apologetically, "This is just my office. I have full quarters upstairs. It's not quite so big or fancy." I gave him an honestly surprised look and he smiled. "This office is marginally bigger than my cabin on the Fenrir. In fact, I sometimes forget to go back to my quarters to sleep and then end up looking through my cabinets here, for a change of clothing."

I chuckled as he maneuvered me to an overstuffed armchair by his mantle and then, after offering me a drink, sat in the chair on the other side. He still seemed inordinately pleased to have me there, sharing in his good fortune. "Well, sir," he began in that lazy drawl he sometimes affected when he was in a good mood, "what may I do for you?"

I started by giving him a stern look that made him stiffen slightly. "What I'm about to say does not leave this office. Understood?" I waited for his response.

He swallowed and then almost whispered, "Aye, sir."

I looked at the fireplace momentarily, confirming that it DID open onto another office. I leaned forward and dropped my voice so that my words wouldn't carry. "The mission has changed," I told him  "...in part," I amended. He looked puzzled and I didn't blame him, I wasn't being especially clear. "We're still doing what we planned, but I'm taking on an additional commission." He relaxed a bit as it became clearer. 

I signaled him to lean in so that I could lower my voice even more. Once he had, I told him the rest. "Admiral Cross has come under heavy fire from the Wulla, and has put out an emergency call for aid. I'm assembling an armada to answer the call, including Admiral Clark's fleet and the Vanguards." He stared at me in stunned silence. After a few moments, he found his voice again.

"How bad is the situation?" he asked, forgetting to keep his voice down. I motioned sharply to him and his ears flicked back in contrition. 

"My sources tell me there have not been any signs of unusual movement from the Casheen," I replied. I could see he understood the meaning: The Wulla were NOT acting without permission. At least two of the four major powers in the South Seas have set themselves against us. "The Black Flag fleet is down to only nine ships."

"Good God..." the Border Collie muttered as he sat back in his chair. A moment later, he startled me when he leapt to his feet. "You want me to inspect the armada's artillery? Bring it up to scratch?" he asked, almost eagerly.

I stood as well and gave him a grateful smile. "If you would be so kind," I said extending my hand again. He promptly shook it. "I'd like you to pay special attention to the fleet from the Irregulars." He seemed surprised for a moment but then grinned as though I was presenting him with a challenge... or a gift. "I'm going to see if they will be allowed into the Naval Harbor, since they're working for me."

"What do I have to work with?" he asked with interest.

I smiled at his business-like manner. "Five ships, very similar to the Demon. No more than 20 cannons on any of them. Assorted smaller arms. The Pedigree members of the fleet will be chipping in to upgrade them, but I don't know what sort of budget I'll be able to arrange yet."

Again, he grinned, thoroughly enjoying the task. It was like a puzzle to him; how to squeeze the most firepower he could out of the space and money available. He was a master at that type of puzzle... which is why I would trust no other man with this.

He told me his schedule was open for the rest of the day; that he only needed to grade some papers, but could do that in an hour. So, he accompanied me to the Naval harbor. I gave him all of the details he needed as we walked, even going so far as to tell him how I'd be splitting the Cerberus fleet at the start of the mission. Cuthbert was pleased to welcome him aboard as we arrived and immediately began to tell him the progress he'd made. I interrupted just long enough to tell the wolfhound about Krovopuskov's fleet and he readily agreed to speak with the other Admirals to try and arrange a fund to upgrade their armaments and sails.

When I went back to the inn for supper, Finn and Cuthbert were arguing congenially about which of the Mastiffs would be more demanding: Shaw or Keeting. I'd spent nearly an hour in the office of the Harbormaster, arguing with him to allow the Irregulars in. I'd had to take him into my confidence about the object of the armada's mission before he'd relented. I hadn't felt especially right in doing so, but the man WAS an high-ranking officer and must be well-used to discretion. At least, I hoped he was.

There was no sign of Will in my quarters, but when I tried the door to the adjoining room, I found it locked. I knocked several times, but he didn't answer... if he was even there. When I entered Delilah's room, she smiled gently at me. Klaus and Brook were there, playing a game of Backgammon. Klaus preferred to play that against me, rather than chess. He felt the randomness introduced by the dice put us on more even footing. Brook though... Brook seemed to relish the challenge of taking me on in the game I'd mastered.

"How is Master Reynalds, papa?" she asked, as her brother sent one of her pieces back to the beginning.

"Has he agreed to help with the Irregulars?" he asked, handing her the dice.

"I just left him and Cuthbert discussing things aboard the Cerberus." Delilah looked up from her needlepoint, in surprise. "He said not to wait for him for dinner. He would be dining with Shaw and Admiral Keeting on the Royal Astor."

"And Master Linden isn't feeling well," she said sadly. My heart wrenched inside me. I looked at her in near desperation. She glanced toward the children warningly. "So, it will just be us for dinner this evening. I've asked that it be brought up here when it's ready, so Brook and Klaus may dine with us." She gave me a reassuring look, to let me know she hadn't forgotten her promise to speak to Will with me.

Dinner was an ordeal for me that evening. All I could think of was the hurt I'd caused the man I loved, the pain my thoughtlessness had inflicted. I was hardly aware of what I was eating, some sort of chicken dish... I think. I resisted the temptation to numb my worries with too much drink. It was clear that, by the time we'd finished eating, the children had noticed my unease. 

"I'm sure that Cuthbert is capable of handling things until you can get back to the harbor," Delilah said almost teasingly, providing me with an excuse. I smiled gratefully to her as I stretched exaggeratedly and stifled a yawn. She gave me a worried look and said, "You're not driving yourself too hard, are you?" I was taken by surprise at that and before I could reply, she said, "I don't want you getting sick as well. Send a message to Cuthbert and let him know you are going to bed early this evening. You may return to the harbor in the morning." I acted as though I was about to object, but she just said, "And NOT before!"

I was about to say something when Klaus spoke up. "I believe she's won, papa. You'd best surrender."

I laughed genuinely at his words and after a moment put my hands up in front of me in a gesture of acceptance. Delilah just looked at me skeptically. She then exchanged a conspiratorial look with the children before saying, "That felt too easy. I don't know that I trust this."

Before I could ask what she meant, she set her work aside and stood. "I think I shall escort this blackguard back to his rooms and see to it he stays there." Brook seemed to see through some of this subterfuge, because when Klaus made as to accompany us, she indignantly reminded him that their game wasn't finished. So, my wife and I returned to my rooms alone. Even Captain Briggs was encouraged to stay where he was, outside her door.

Delilah made sure no servants were around when she slipped into my room and locked the door behind her.  I had gone to the other door and knocked again. Still, there was no reply. I was just about to beg him to open it, when my wife put a finger to my lips. 

"Will?" she called softly. "Are you asleep?"

After a few moments, I heard his voice. It was clear, as though he had come to stand just on the other side. "Is Luther with you?" That hurt me to my very core. 

I was about to speak, when my wife gave me a sharp look and said, "He's waiting, in his room." At which point she gave me a dismissive gesture, insisting silently that I go there and wait. I reluctantly did as she indicated, standing in the doorway and listening until she came and closed it in my face.

I just stood, staring at the inside of the door for several long seconds, numb to everything around me. In that moment, I felt that if Zakkra himself had leapt through my window, I would barely have noticed. Somehow, I found myself sitting on the edge of my bed, my face in my hands. It was a torturous eternity as I waited there. Finally, after what must certainly have been several lifetimes, the door opened and Delilah led the Akita in.

I stared at him, hardly able to stand the wait. His eyes were dry and bright as they looked back at me, his expression unreadable. His ears and tail were held rigidly in check and he looked ready to bolt at any moment. I slowly got to my feet, my eyes locked on his so he'd know I wasn't going to approach. I don't know how long we stood staring at each other. I only knew when Delilah sat with an exaggerated sigh in the armchair by the fireplace. That seemed to snap him from his trance as well.

"Will," I began, trying to say what I needed to while he was still willing to listen. Before I could say more, he held up a hand.

"Please, Luther," he said firmly, eyes never wavering. "May I?"

Trust. Delilah's words came back to me clearly in that moment. "You must be willing to trust him," she'd said. I bit back my fears and anxieties, and after a moment, I nodded.

He took a deep breath and his eyes jerked as though wanting to look away from me. "You hurt me, Luther." I felt as though a mighty fist was crushing my heart inside me. "But, I know you didn't intend to." I stared incredulously at him. He understood? "I know you only did it because you love me." He sighed and hesitated, a look of absolute anguish on his face. I was about to break down in grief when he said, "I can only tell you how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you either." We stood there, him hardly able to look at me... me gaping in astonishment. "I can't even begin to ask you to forgive me-"

"I do,Will!" I insisted earnestly. "And you'd have every right to hate me for what I did to you," I said, the words forcing themselves out. "Please, stay... if only for Delilah and the children. We need you, Will!" I looked at him, desperation destroying my every inhibition. "I need you..." The tears that had been threatening finally began to flow. "Please, Will..."

"Stay?" he asked, surprised that I'd thought he was contemplating leaving. "Where would I go?" he asked with an ironic smile.

"Back to Rich?" I stood with my ears and tail drooping as I waited to hear his answer. 

To my amazement, he chuckled. "Silly cattle dog." Before I could recover from that shock, he stunned me even more thoroughly by coming to stand directly in front of me. "I told you," he said in that tone that said I should have remembered this. "I will have no other man but you for the rest of my life." Before I could process that, he'd reached out and put his hands on my arms. It was as though that touch had swept away every doubt, every hurt, every unease.  After a moment though, he almost looked away but I reached up and cupped his chin in my hand. "None of this would have happened if I had simply explained everything to you in the first place."

"No," I insisted. "I should have trusted you. You have your reasons for not talking. I won't force you to, ever again. I swear to you."

I could see a thousand different emotions warring in his eyes. I honestly didn't care if he decided to tell me now or if he'd decide to wait. He was there... now. And that's all that mattered. 

Just then, I felt a hand come to rest on my shoulder. I started and looked round. Delilah had come to stand with us. She had a hand on Will's shoulder as well. I could feel the strength and love flowing into me from her touch.

The words came without my even being aware of my mouth forming them. "I love you, Will."

In that same instant, his voice merged with mine, "I love you, Luther."

I was so overwhelmed by emotion that I wasn't even aware of taking him in my arms and holding him desperately to me, feeling the embrace returned with every bit as much passion. Neither of us knew exactly when Delilah left us. I vaguely remember her words lingering in the room.

"Good night."

"I love you."

"Stop being such idiots."