I have the inability to see. Not like you'd think. My vision is fine. I just can't see things in the future which makes me sad sometimes. I'd really like to know what's going to happen but I don't know. I rarely even get a hint. It's just randomness. Even planning takes it's toll. You toil and toil and scheme and plot then all of a sudden it's undone by an unknown variable like a rock through a stained glass window.

I had a crush on someone I didn't know. When I got to know then that died. Can a crush truly live very long? It's an emotional illusion after all. I guess I shouldn't have thoughts like that about my sister.

It's cold outside. The Maine winter can be harsh at times. Nineteen degrees Fahrenheit is what it is with the sun shining outside. But I really have to pee. Should I risk the chance of frostbite on my penis or just piss and hope it stays warm until I can get inside? I'd hate for my urine to freeze to my legs. That would be awful.

I wish I could do things like taste human flesh legally. I heard it tastes like pork for the most part. I read that the reason for the old Jewish taboo on eating pork as unclean is because it was so close to tasting like human flesh. That's one theory anyway. Personally, I don't know if it would be a good idea to slaughter a pig. When they scream in pain is sounds so human. Though human screams and pleas for mercy are best heard in the dark. That final sigh of their last breath leaving their body is so orgasmic! I wish I had recorded it so I could play it on a constant loop over and over again for hours. Mozart couldn't come up with a melody as sweet as that.

I'm wondering if immortality would be a bad thing? Sure, in the Middle Ages it would suck because progress was so slow. The Church ruled everything and fun was more or less outlawed. Today, in modern times things change so fast that there is something exciting and new every decade. A new discovery is brought to light all the time. So much novelty would be great if you were immortal. I'd want to be immortal with someone. Well, a group of someones because then you get to share all this with them instead of someone that dies after a mere 60 years.

I think sometimes the cure is worse then the disease. I would rather die in relative peace then suffer and live. Suffering is bad. I see it all the time where I work. I try not to let it affect me but it does. I wish I could stop their suffering but that would only lead to more. It would also breed fear which is another kind of suffering. It's a suffering of potential which is kind of lame. It would be better if some people grew some damned balls!

I enjoy getting my dick sucked. Unfortunately the two that I let suck me off don't like it when I shoot my load into their mouth. I haven't done that to either of them yet because I respect their wishes for me not to. One has tasted my sperm but didn't like it. I can see why. I'm not a huge fan of gooey clam-flavored spunk either. It is nice to look down on them as I cum on their chests. They don't mind that so much which is good. Next time I'll have one of them stick their finger in my ass as they suck me off. That should be interesting.

I like children but not in a pedophile sort of way. I like children in the same way I like puppies and kittens. I couldn't ever hurt any of those three because it would be wrong. I don't think I could forgive myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't want kids. I don't want to be responsible for that. Also I doubt it would be a good idea. My childhood really sucked. I was about nine or so when I had my first cannibalistic fantasy. It was this bitch I went to school with named Alieen. She was just such a cunt for no reason. I thought of what it would be like to roast her over a spit on an open fire pit. I called that fantasy 'the Alieen Bar-B-Que'. I got over that the next grade when she was no longer in my class. Last I heard she had died from a meth overdose. Her loss I guess.

My sense of humor is flawed I think. I'm not racist but 'oven dodger' jokes make me giggle a little bit. It's a pity since Jews have never done anything to me. In fact, every Jew I know is really nice. I would date one if I was single but i couldn't marry them. I still have my foreskin and I'm rather attached to it at the moment. Seems though that a lot of atheists come from Jewish backgrounds. A common saying is "Jews make the best atheists." I can understand this. They have been worshiping their good for over 5,000 years. You'd think they'd be some of the first ones to realize that he isn't there after trying to talk to him for so long. I don't like the idea of god. Why look skyward for some rhyme or reason when you can just look around you? Hope sounds nice but doubt is more realistic.

You can find out a lot of things about a person if you ask them when they are drunk or just after sex. There is a Latin saying that goes "in wine there is truth." An orgasm is a type of intoxication. When your warm cum shoots into their hot pussy (or cold pussy if you are into that type of thing) that bliss washes over you, leaving you weakened and helpless both physically and mentally then is when you are honest. No defense. No barriers. Just you in your afterglow.

I've wondered what it would be like to piss in someone else's body. Not in their mouth. That would be too easy. I'd like to try pissing in them during sex. No, this is not a fetish type of thing. I'm not into water sports. I just want to see what would happen. Would their womb fill up like a water jug or would it just drain out? I would try it in the other person's ass but all that would happen is some anal leakage. On second though they might be a bad idea. I'm sure peeing in them would break the mood of lovemaking. Oh well.

I like how stretchy human skin is. It's tougher then you'd think. I've seen pictures of people suspended by their skin from hooks. That is amazing to me. And to think, the human body is covered in the stuff so you could harvest tons of it if you wanted. Not sure what you'd do with it though. Maybe tan it and cover a chair with it I guess? I would kind of lose interest after it was removed from the person's body. I'm sure they need it more then I do anyway.

I don't understand people that like to shit themselves. What is wrong with these people? That warm, smelly mush coating your ass crack or worse, if it's liquid-ish and running down your legs. Thoughts like that make me shiver in a bad, bad way. If I had to spend time with someone like that I'd be too tempted to end their life. I would be like an angered gorilla, beating them in blind rage until the police came and made me stop. I'd likely go to jail for a long time but somethings are worth the price. People who willingly do that shouldn't be allowed to breath. But since they are they should be exiled to some other place. I would do the humane thing and kill them in their sleep. Unfortunately, when they die their bowels would release, giving me and other decent people a last 'fuck you' as they passed into oblivion. One thing that could be done is secure a dildo into their ass before killing them to prevent that from happening but you'd have to remove the diaper first, if they are even wearing one.

The furry fandom is one that I enjoy. It's not really the art but the people. I met my second girlfriend through the fandom. She's a furry obviously. I'd like it if she were able to live with me and my first girlfriend but we'd need a bigger place. They get along really well. I'm glad. I've met so many interesting and intelligent people here. Most of the ones I talk to have some form of college degree. It's great to talk to smart people especially since I'm rather dumb. I read in an Anton Wilson book about a quote from Dr. Timothy Leary that was pretty much summed up as "hang around people that are smarter then you because something might brush off on you." I have found this to be true. One of my friends got me to read Beowolf. I am better off for it. I just wish I could pay my friends back in some way for what they give me. Maybe one will read this journal and , after their horrified shock wears off they will give me a clue or two? That would be nice.

I'm halfway through my workout that girlfriend number two sent me. I can feel the difference in my body. It hurts more then when I was a lazy ass. Hurt is good sometimes. I needed to do something to improve myself anyway. Hell, maybe I'll even be able to break a hooker's neck easily the next time I hire one so I can get my money back? The only reason I ever even visited them is because they swallow more often then not. It's good to know they you made them eat it. It is it's own reward.

I suppose I can wrap this up for now. I would put this under general but I would have a shit storm on my hands when a moderator here started to read it. Well, not like that many people read what I write.