Is it only so

I'm so alone, without you?

Everything so fake

Robbed from my heart and soul

My mind has been destroyed a thousand times

Trying to keep it whole

Now you're holding hands with another

It's as if I'm not allowed to feel anything at all

The silence kills me, my rejection role

As you kiss, walls far between us all

Over and over you tell me to let go

But I ain't faking, you're so slow

I'm lost in the slipstream, can't you see

Small boy without a heart, selfishness breeds

Time heals all wounds, but it's a real bind

That you exist on Christmas eve, Valentines and for all time

The first thing that opened my heart and the first to crush it

Destroy me bleeding, I have nothing for it

All my suffering

A saint only feeling hate

You're blind as a bat, your wolves they bite at my skin

'Don't trust him, don't trust him'

'Sir you've lost him'

Insanity I'm far past it, but I feel it's a task

Everytime I go to hate you, the feelings fall flat

To open to a arch of love, hating you is killing me

And being so alone is making me insane

You're no bolder, giving me a 2 months cold shoulder

For nothing I've been

Overtime, you deny and lie

Can't see you're killing me

You're begging on a Alibi, is anger all you know?

This boy was heart, but it's as if I have to fake something here

I feel for you

So desperately

So quit it with the fucking apathy

Too long I've gone, I'm not begging for love

I'm begging for someone to hold and be a man with me

A person, a human being, your expectations leave me bloody

But I don't care, I still love you

How do I stop, maybe it's killing me

To even be alive, to even be human at all

Seems God has a bone to pick with me, but I'm not so small

God if you want me, know I'm not nothing at all

I'm not standing with the devil, I already dumped him in cold holy water

But to be a man, the chances are growing colder

To be a God seems to be the case, a messiah, is this what I'm meant to be?

My whole life, left only tasking on constant criticism

Now I'm blaming theee

Won't see my changes, it makes me deranged

I'm not feeling love here, I'm feeling apathy

Because that's all God wants me to feel, but the devil won't take my soul

I've lost control but haven't given up

Everything has been so abrupt

You I don't want to die

You I don't wanna control

But if it's you, then it's nothing new

I want to sell my valentine my soul

Yeah, you don't love me

You're in fear and hating me

Threatening to leave everyone and for what?

You seriously think I was killing you? Over the internet?

You think I seriously told you to die?

I said to leave

Mr, your head has given me a blister

I'm not even responsible for your mental reality

Tell me I'm fucking wrong, you chose to work

Go obsessively on everything and I'm meant to exert

Energy on you? Who won't even save themselves?

I went for two years; yeah it's been swell!

Where did I go wrong? Nowhere at all!

Seeing you suicidal; I was stupid for saying I could change you at all!

I was insane, deranged, but atleast I had a fucking heart!

MORE THAN ANYONE YOU EVER KNOWN!

YOU STUPID RAGING TART!

So what is this feeling, every single day

All I remember is this reminder of Valentine's day

and how I'm always alone

It's making me sick inside

20 years of full of fear; when it's over, I have to deal with pride.

So what the fuck is this? Some kinda sick joke?

It's my valentine's day? But I'm living circumstances I never can control?

A hole is in my heart from where you left, I feel so bereft and cool

2 hours a day of meditation from 2 months ago

So enjoy your valentines day, your lover is a fake

Rebound relationship, who fucking cares bro if I'm covered in shit?

From your angst and desire to control how the fuck I've seen?

You think I'm honestly dead from the feelings I've felt

For 20 years? Seriously?

I'm a fucking tank to this shit, but you expect me to cry

I love my fucking valentines; feeling anything makes me wanna cry

Because honest to god, I never deserved this

Nobody ever asked me why I felt the way I felt

They just covered me in shit!

Well, I'm glad it's just a date, because it's starting to seem

A holiday is just not what is right for me

I gotta get down in the dirt, make everything right for me

I have for 20 years, if you knew me, if you even knew me!

But I'm not crying, I honestly just don't know how to feel

This confusion could kill me, but I learnt to know that nothing will

My mind is stronger than fucking adamantium, insanity's playtime for me

Know I want you mister, wherever your fucking your mate

We had history together, I know too well