He was still standing there, in the bright orange sunset; his face veiled by the glare of the light. The same as he always was. The sun shining through his large, rounded ears, refracting into a million points of brilliant light in his tan fur. Five more hours, 150 more miles, one more stop at the gas station and I would be in his arms. We would be together. Finally. I carefully place the photo back into my wallet. It’s still cold outside. My breath condenses in the chill morning air as I leave the motel. I had almost forgotten how cold the desert gets at night. Karin is already standing by the car and waiting for me to get there. “What took you so long? Been staring at your boyfriend again?” the arctic vixen barks at me. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you.” I fold my ears back and try to feign a grin. “He’s not my boyfriend!”, I retort and unlock in the car. I start the motor and pull out of the parking lot. Burnside, 150 miles. *** I hadn’t spotted him right away. He was hanging out with his group of friends before I entered the classroom. Popular people I barely knew and tended to stay away from. We hadn’t shared any classes before that year. They told us courses were merging because a teacher left - or something. I don’t remember. I first noticed him when he flicked small pieces of paper at one of his friends. I was mesmerized by the movement of his fur and muscles as he expertly tipped back his chair, the hugest hyena grin on his face you could imagine. And somehow, there, in his white shirt and jeans, he was the cutest guy I had ever seen. Now, looking at guys that way wasn’t really new to me. Mike, the tiger next to him, had caught my eye more than once. But I had never expected to actually feel like this about a guy. Or act on my feelings. It would take me a short while longer to get to that point. Right now I didn’t even know his name. *** “I never knew you two were this close”, Karin breaks the long silence. “I mean, I knew you used to hang out outside of school, but I didn’t realise you were that close.” “Well, we tried to not make it a big deal. My parents probably wouldn’t have approved of it back then, and what did get out didn’t sit well with his friends”. “Jocks, right?” She asks. “Tyler and his pack?” “Him? Well, not really. He’s smarter. He didn’t go along with their crap. But Tyler and his friends were jocks, yeah. I tried to avoid them.” We talk about old classmates. Mostly people I had nearly forgotten. The conversation lasts us just until we have to fill up on gas. Thank the gods for the invention of air conditioning. Even in the morning the hot desert sun makes it nearly unbearable under the thick fur I had started to grow in the northern states. Around us nothing but desert and a few scattered buildings. Sand and warm concrete under my paws. The sun still too low for the roof of the gas station to cast its shadow on the pumps. It reminds me of home. I wave to the wiry fennec attending the station before climbing back into the car with Karin and pulling back onto the empty roads. Another hour of driving before we’d arrive at my parents house. *** His name was David. I found my way into a group assignment with him a month later. We had to prepare an essay about a book we’d read in class. Well, a book I had read - he hadn’t. Neither had the two of his friends who had joined the group. The difference was, with him, I didn’t mind at all. I had to try hard to keep my eyes off of him. It was late summer, but the days in the southern desert were hot enough for him to only wear a tank top and shorts. I couldn’t stop staring at his upper arms. The rippling of his fur when he moved. His chest. His face. His big grin. His scent. The way he flicked his ears. I walked up to him after class. I didn't know why. I had nothing prepared. No question to ask. I just said “Hey David!” and kinda stood there, staring at him like an idiot for a moment before he turned away and left with his friends. After a few steps he stopped and shot a confused look back at me before he vanished around the corner in the middle of the group. Crap. *** My father greets us in the driveway as we pull up to the house. The wolf had grown old. Even more gray around the muzzle than when I had last seen him nearly two years ago. I get out of the car and give him a hug. My mom steps out of the house. The house I grew up in. Still the same. The same brown front lawn. The same red roof and white walls. Well, not entirely the same. A small tree was growing on the front lawn. Barely big enough to cast a cooling shade. Delicate leaves fluttering in the hot wind. “Thank you for letting me stay with you” Karin says. “Ohh, it’s no trouble, really”, my mom replies. “You can have the guest room, Jacob will take the couch.” My dad walks up behind us, carrying our bags to the front door. We step inside. It takes a moment for the cool air inside to sink into my fur and my eyes to adjust from the sun outside. *** He had come up to me after class a few days later. Alone. Said something like “Dude, I totally want to help write that essay, maybe we should hang out,” and went on about how he didn’t want to push all the work onto me like those other guys. I had no idea how to react. My paws got cold. “Uhh, sure”, I said after a moment, trying not to let my twitching tail and blushing ears betray my nervousness. “Where do you want to meet? The school cafeteria?” I am an idiot. “I was thinking I’d just come over to your place if that’s OK”, he shrugged. I swallowed and nodded hesitantly, “Uhhm, yeah, I think that would be fine.” “Cool! Five PM OK?” I nodded again. Tyler and his friends poured out of the classroom and swept him up before I could say anything else. What now? “Nothing. He just wants to come over to work on the essay” I tried to reminded myself. Yeah, like that’s what I had in mind. *** Before my eyes adjust to the darkness the old familiar scents flood my mind. My mom's perfume, the wood paneling on the walls, the old stained carpet, the same smell of food from the kitchen. It takes me a moment to notice the missing scents. Mine. It feels incomplete. Every time I visited my parents in the past they were still there. Now I feel strangely foreign, like I’m walking into a stranger's home. Ten years is a long time. Enough time for my own mark on this place to fade. We sit down in the kitchen; have something to drink. “You said you were going to meet with David?” my mom asks. “It's so great you two are still talking after so many years.” “Yeah, I'm really excited to be able to talk to him again. Maybe we can meet up sometime.” I have trouble not telling her everything in that moment. Not coming out to her this instant. *** I was pacing up and down my room like a caged animal. I took another look at the clock. Five past five. He should have arrived already. Did he forget? Was he not able to find my parents house? I sat down at my computer again and pulled up my part of the essay. Read over it again to pass a few more minutes. Eight past five. The doorbell rang. I jumped up, threw open my door and started bolting down the stairs. I heard my mom open the front door. I could hear his voice, introducing himself to my mother. I walked into the corridor and could barely keep my tail from nervously hitting the walls when I saw him standing in the doorway. “Hey Jay!”, he said, peeking around my mother. I grinned nervously and raised my paw. “Hi David.” He was wearing Jeans and a white T-shirt. Had his backpack slung over one shoulder. Seeing him all by himself, outside of his group of friends, was relieving. Finally being able to be alone with him was exhilarating - even just working on the essay. But I wanted nothing more than to dig my paws into his fur. Feel his muscles. Take in his scent. “Will you boys be all right?”, my mom interrupted my thoughts just in time before my staring became too apparent. I tore my eyes off him and nodded. “Yeah, we’ll just be working on the essay, mom. Come on, I'll show you my room.”, I said, prompting David to follow me with a wave of my paw. *** “So… uhhm, did you two ever… fuck?”, the arctic vixen asks while unpacking her bag in my old room. I grin and look at Karin. “Mhhm, right there in that bed you're sitting on.” She looks down at the sheets. “Don't worry, I'm sure they've been washed since then.” I laugh. “I'm not even sure they're still here. I think I took them with me when I moved.” I look her dead in the eyes. “Maybe I secretly sniff them at night and think of him.” “Eww! Wouldn't surprise me though.”, she laughs, “I mean, you have been staring at his picture like you're completely obsessed with him.” “You know, maybe I am obsessed with him. Maybe not in the sheet sniffing way, but in some way, yeah…” *** I could feel the warmth of David's body next to mine. Even as I closed my eyes I could feel his presence. Like an electric field it raised my fur and made my skin tingle. I subconsciously leaned a little closer to him and the screen with the webpage we were looking at, nearly brushing my shoulder against his. He lets out a small chuckle. “Getting a little close there, huh?” I could feel the electric field discharge in a single jolt of adrenaline, making me sit up straight with my eyes wide open and my ears folded back. I scooted away from him, trying to focus on the screen in front of us. It took me a moment to muster a quiet “Sorry”, afraid that acknowledging my action would make him angry or scare him off. I could feel my claws dig into the underside of my chair and my paw pads grow cold and wet. For a while we just stared at the screen, neither of us saying anything, too afraid to look at each other. “It’s cool.”, he said plainly after what seemed like an eternity. I turned towards him, still too scared to look him in the eyes, and see him smiling at me. That huge hyena grin. I lowered my head and stared at the floor. My breathing felt quick and unsteady. “Really?” “Really! It’s alright. I don’t mind.”, he laughed, grinning at me reassuringly before wrapping his arm around me. *** We’re sitting down at the dinner table, Karin, my mom, my dad and I. My mom has made one of my old favourite dishes. Pasta with meatballs. Nearly as good as I remember them. We talk about school. Classmates I can barely remember. I hadn’t really stayed in touch with anyone. Even Karin only reappeared in my life around two months ago when we ran into each other shopping. She was the one who told me about the reunion; the one who was still in contact with everyone from back then. And as she talks to my parents about our old classmates I realize how little I want to have to talk about David. How little I want to have to answer their questions about him and our relationship. *** We hadn’t talked much the rest of the week, but when our last class on friday was over we met at the bus stop and we got on the bus together, casually taking seats next to each other. I had sent him a message the evening before and a few gut wrenching minutes later I had gotten his reply saying he'd love to come home with me after school. I had told him we would be alone, that my mom would be out until late in the evening. I had a hard time not hugging him as he greeted me, the way I did when he left me last time, and an even harder time not leaning against him too obviously when we sat next to each other on the bus. My mom's car was gone when I opened the gate, but it did nothing to quell my nervousness. I had trouble keeping my tail from tucking between my legs as we entered the house. “You want anything to drink?” I asked him while I walked into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. “Nahh, thanks, I'm fine.”, he replied, smirking, watching me through the kitchen door. “So, you got any plans?” “I…”, I hesitated, taking a sip of my water. “Just talking, I guess.” *** “Looking at that picture again, huh?” I have no idea how she could sneak up so quietly. She sits down on my parents couch with me and takes the photo from my paws, gently inspecting the creased and faded piece of paper in the dim light of the sunset coming in from the living room window. “How long have you been carrying that around with you?” she asks. “Almost ten years. I printed it out when I moved north and have kept it in my wallet ever since.” “Why?” “It helps me remember the year we spent together. It gives me hope that I could be with him again someday.” She hands the photo back to me. “Have you not been with anyone else since then?” “Yeah, a girl once. Then a guy. But nothing serious.” *** “You just want me to hold you again?” he chuckles as he wraps his arms around me and I dig my nose into the tan fur on his neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent. After a moment I shrug, lean a little closer against him, stretched out on my bed. My paws slowly stroke over the sides of his shirt, feeling the fur under the thin white cloth. He slowly nuzzles at my ears, whispering, asking me if he should take off his shirt. I hesitate for a moment before nodding. He slowly sits up and grabs the bottom of his shirt with his big paws and pulls it over his head in a single, smooth motion. My gaze travels over his muscular belly and his broad chest, his slightly disheveled white and tan fur. His brown spots that had nearly lost their definition in his messy coat. I straddle his lap and wrap my arms around him; feel the warmth of his body against mine, his fur between my fingers. Slowly I nuzzle lower down his chest and belly, teasing his soft white fur with my nose as my body slides down between his legs. I greedily inhale the growing scent of his arousal, rubbing my nose into the fur on his lower belly while my paws hold onto his hips. I can hear his breathing getting deeper, can feel him shift in his pants as they slowly get too tight for his growing sheath. Suddenly, I can feel his tip press against my muzzle, hot and smooth; slightly wet as it slides out of his sheath and against my lips. I inhale deeply and feel his paws on the back of my head and his hard red shaft slip into my maw, filling it with the taste of his musk. My paws grip at his bare hips, grope his ass and thighs as I feel my own urgency grow. A moment later I can feel him buck into me, his cock twitching in my muzzle as he unloads his seed onto the back of my tongue and I grind myself into the warmth of his body, letting my own seed spray into his soft fur. *** I awake in a confused haze, his image and presence slowly fading from reality, leaving only the warm and wet feeling of my spent erection pressed into the sheets. It takes me a moment to realize what happened and slight panic sets in. My parent's living room was still almost completely dark, with only the faintest bit of morning light filtering in through the blinds. Everyone still seemed to be asleep. I carefully get up and realize with a great relief that my boxers seem to have contained most of the mess. I quickly walk to the bathroom, trying not to leave the scent of my cum hanging in the living room and corridor. I get in, pants and all, and let the warm water soak into my fur, trying to recall the feeling of his body against mine. It felt different in the dream. The way he pressed himself into my muzzle. His short and forceful thrusts. That's not how he was. *** We met again only a few days later. He wordlessly took the bus home with me after school and we quickly ended up in my room, then on my bed. To my surprise he wanted to take me into his muzzle this time. Feeling his broad tongue lap around my shaft and the heat of his maw engulf me made me shiver and squirm on the bed, much more, I felt, than I was able to make him wriggle last time. Soon after I let out a long, whiny moan when I couldn’t hold back anymore, bucking into his soft snout, letting my seed surge into him. He smiled and licked me clean before he slid up my body and held me close, nuzzling my cheek. A few weeks and some preparation later he took me under his tail for the first time. Lying on top of him and feeling the heat of his body under me, the way he squirmed as I slowly pushed my lubed up, condom wrapped cock into him until my hips pressed against his soft butt made me happier than I’ve ever been. Only to be outdone again a few minutes later, shivering on top of him as my climax washed over me and I came into the condom, my knot firmly locked inside his tight rump. He turned around as far as he could and kissed me while I pawed him off. In school we stayed away from each other, agreeing that we were better off if our classmates didn't know about our relationship. Sometimes we took my mom’s car and drove out to the nearby mountains to have some time just for us. As the Christmas holidays approached I asked my parents if it would be OK for him to sleep over for a night. They agreed, and he ended up staying for three days, spending most of the nights with me in my bed instead of on the air mattress my parents put besides it. *** I sit down with Karin and my mom for breakfast. The sun had come up by now. We eat fried eggs, sausages, toast. Drink coffee and orange juice. I really enjoy my mom cooking breakfast for us. “Did you sleep well?” She asks. I nod and shovel eggs and toast into my muzzle. Take a sip of the sweet, milky coffee. *** “Fuck off, fagwolf!” I don’t know how it had happened. We tried to be really careful. But somehow our classmates had learned about our relationship. It started with one or two small remarks. Little jokes. Friends of his giving me weird looks and laughing whenever I was nearby. I don’t know what he had told them. But now Tyler was blocking the door to the locker room with a finger on my chest, pushing me back into the corridor. “Go change outside, we don’t want you jerking off to us in here!”, the coyote snarled at me. I tried to force my way past him, but he was stronger than me, and with a single shove he made me stumble back into the corridor, much to the amusement of the rest of his gang. My eyes darted around, looking for David, only to find him in the middle of the pack, laughing along with them. My heart sank. I could feel my throat close up and tears well up in my eyes. Before he could see anything I turned away and ran to the toilets, locking myself into one of the stalls. I leaned against the wall and slowly slid down until I was cowering on the floor, crying silently. *** “He’s not coming, is he?”, Karin asks as we drive to the restaurant. “I don’t know.” “You don’t know?” “I haven’t really asked him.” “Have you talked?” “No. Not really.” “When was the last time you talked?” *** I didn’t want to hear his voice. I waited for the awful ringing to finally stop. Nine, ten rings. Silence. Three missed calls. Everything hurt. We avoided each other in school, which still came naturally. Outside of school I avoided him, which became harder and harder as time went on. Then it was over. School ended. He stopped calling. I moved away. I printed out the picture. Put it in my wallet.