Chapter 19

Nekkie sat on the couch, wringing her hands. She hadn’t applied makeup in days, the bags under her eyes betraying how little she’d slept. She was dressed in a worn T-shirt and an old pair of jeans, both of which were wrinkled and stained. The past week had been a blur. Roland had never come home after she had confronted him in Cockzilla’s trailer, although where he was she had no idea. He didn’t answer his phone, and he didn’t try to call. For all she knew, Roland was laying dead in a ditch somewhere.

When she had come home, in her fury, she had immediately begun trashing his things, smashing his models and throwing out his clothes. Her rage had dissipated quickly, however, and she quickly regretted it. Though they had only been together for a little more than two years, pretty much everything they had was shared between them, and everything she touched reminded her of the fox. If she tried getting rid of everything that was his or reminded her of him, she would soon have an empty apartment. Even the carpet reminded her of him, what with all his shedding.

Her apartment was mostly a mess now, with the garbage and dirty laundry strewn all over the place. Takeout boxes sprawled in front of the TV and across the coffee table, their half-eaten contents threatening to attract insects. Roland had always been the one who took out the trash, did the dishes and ran the laundry. In his absence, Nekkie found herself kneedeep in her own filth, made all the worse by the fact that she hadn’t been out of the house except to get food since she’d told Henna she was on hiatus.

Nekkie sighed and stared at the television in front of her, which she just now realized was on. There was some movie about an athlete and a bunch of ninjas with flags, but she wasn’t even beginning to pay attention. She had been fading in and out like that a lot lately, sometimes falling asleep, sometimes just blanking out for a long period. Part of her was still angry with Roland, or angry with herself for sharing in his weakness, but mostly she was just scared and exhausted with being alone.

All of a sudden, there was a buzz at her door. As Nekkie was expecting neither visitors nor packages, she was caught off guard, not recognizing the sound at first, but then leaping over to the intercom to press the button. “Hello?” she said, holding down the talk button. There was silence for a moment, and then she realized that maybe she needed to lift her finger to listen.

“It’s me, open up!” came a very familiar voice. His words were apparently part of a longer conversation, one that Nekkie had cut off with the button, but she instantly and desperately pressed at the “unlock” button, waiting for the tramp of feet. Within moments, she could hear heavy boots pounding on the carpet outside her door, and a fist knocking aggressively. Nekkie went to the door slowly, apprehensively.

Carefully she peeked through the peephole. Would he be angry? Dirty? Was he here to grab stuff and leave? Was he here to beat her up or rape her? Why hadn’t he called? His look was apprehensive and he was visibly sleep deprived. His ears flittered this way and that, his head snapping quickly, the adrenaline in his blood making him twitchy. Though he was wearing brand-new clothing and had a fresh haircut, she could tell that he had been through some exceedingly rough times, more than likely much worse than what she had just suffered. Slowly, cautiously, she unlocked and opened the door, peeking through the corner. “Roland? Is that you?”

Roland charged the door, almost smacking Nekkie in the face with it as he bowled her over. Instantly she was on the carpet, her back pressed firmly against it. Out of panic she squawked, slapping and kicking at him. But he didn’t let go, his arms firmly wrapped around her waist as he kissed her, pressing and hugging Nekkie tightly. She could feel tears slide down his muzzle and drip onto her chest, and though he didn’t break out into sobs, it was clear that he was overwhelmed with emotion.

It took some time for them to extract themselves from the mess on the floor and close the door behind them, and longer still for them to sit on the couch. Their initial embrace now broken, they stared at one another, and at the mess of the room, each one afraid to speak first. They mumbled a bit, slowly moving closer together until they finally embraced, hugging tightly and staring idly at the television.

“This movie is awful,” said Roland. His hand slid up and down Nekkie’s arm. She leaned into him a bit, sniffling slightly.

“Yeah, it really is,” said Nekkie. “So…How have you been lately?” she had said the words instinctively and she immediately regretted them, fearing that it might set Roland off. But he remained quiet for awhile, moving only to cuddle Nekkie closer and occasionally kiss her ruffled feathers.

“It’s been…awkward,” said Roland. “In my haste, I left my pants at Cockzilla’s. No pants means no wallet, and no wallet means no ID. The cops held me for public nudity for awhile, then I got bounced to a halfway house, and a few other places. I wanted to call you, but I’d lost my phone and I didn’t remember your number. On top of that, without my phone, I couldn’t call my bank to get a new credit card or a new driver’s license, and even if I could, they’d just send it here and I didn’t have my keys. Somehow, Henna found out where I was, and she got me my pants, wallet and phone back. I came over as soon as I could, stopping only at a store to buy some new clothes and take a shower at a truck stop. I’d been wearing some stuff the cops gave me for about six days at that point, so I was pretty disgusting. ” His story finished, Roland continued nuzzling Nekkie a bit. When the movie finished, he sighed and began picking up garbage and carrying it to the garbage can, as if he were merely picking up after a wild party.

“So are we…together?” asked Nekkie. She stared at Roland, but he avoided eye contact, focusing on the task of cleaning. It was several minutes before he spoke.

“I…I guess we are,” he said. “I mean, we never really broke up. It’s just I couldn’t get back real quick, because the cops picked me up naked and handcuffed.”

“I never called you,” said Nekkie, tears slowly creeping into her eyes again. “I never even tried. I didn’t go looking for you, I didn’t ask anyone if they’d seen you, I didn’t even call the police to see if you’d gone missing. I…I guess I just expected you to pop up again. I’d turn a corner, and you’d be there, building a model or playing a game or something. Like you always do.”

“Well see? I did come back,” said Roland. He was on all fours now, prodigiously working away. It was amazing to see how quickly he was able to clean the place up, although the fact that he wasn’t shy about filling up garbage bags seemed to help. He showed no emotion as he retrieved shattered airplanes or crushed collectibles and threw them into the trash. Nekkie didn’t say anything, but she was amazed at how unconcerned he was to see things on which he'd spent months of work and hundreds of dollars become trash. “I’m just sorry it took so long.”

Nekkie sobbed and threw herself on him, causing him to stumble and drop his garbage bag. She clutched him, crying into his shoulder, her tears staining his shirt. “I’m so sorry!” she said. “I’m sorry I cheated on you with that son of a bitch! I’m sorry I…I…” Roland patted her on the back, his hand running up and down slowly. He shushed her for a bit, hugging.

“I’m sorry too,” said Roland. “I’m sorry that I didn’t have the self control I thought I did. You don’t need to tell me how much I hurt you. We’ve been down that road before, and I can’t believe you put up with that shit.” Nekkie pulled back and smiled, rubbing her beak against his nose. He blushed a bit. She hadn’t “kissed” him like that in months.

“I put up with it because I love you,” said Nekkie. “Even if you are a bit queer sometimes. Though now I understand why you lose your way from time to time. That temptation is stronger than I thought.”

“It still doesn’t make it right,” said Roland. He stood to his feet, holding Nekkie’s hand and helping her up as well. “But I know we can. We’ll get past this, and we’ll be better for it, in the end.” Nekkie leaned up to nuzzle Roland again, and they kissed lightly, caressing one another softly for a few more moments. Nekkie could feel Roland pressing against her through his pants. It made her blush, but at least he was true to form, even after all this trauma. As if on cue, he lifted up Nekkie and began carrying her towards the bedroom, nuzzling and licking her as he went.

“You can’t be serious,” she said. “What with the mess, and the bed sheets, and the fact that my feathers haven’t been made up…” Nekkie blushed and continued to complain, but Roland just tossed her on the bed, crawling over her and nuzzling as he undid her shirt.

“Nekkie, you’re all I’ve been thinking about for the past six days,” said Roland. “I can fix the apartment later. Right now you’re all I care about. You. Me. Here. Together.”

“I love you too,” said Nekkie, wrapping her legs around Roland as he undid her shirt and removed her bra. His tails wagged into a blur as he licked eagerly at her nipples, making her back arch. Roland might not have the raw sexual talent of Cockzilla, but he loved her in a way that no one else could. Though his touch was clumsy and his tongue moved roughly, everything he did was for her. And it wasn’t just the sex. She could feel, even now, how he was going to be there for her once this was over. It was the love that made the sex good, that turned it from an act of pleasure into one of sincere satisfaction.

As Roland slipped his muzzle down between her legs, his eager hands making quick work of her pants and underwear, she grabbed on him and worked to get him to turn around. His clothes fit poorly, and once Nekkie undid his belt, his pants and boxers fell to his knees almost of their own accord. He was already hard as a rock, and Nekkie grinned as she slurped him into her beak. He was just the perfect size for her. Big enough to satisfy, but not so big as to be painful or hard to work with.

Nekkie worked on him slowly at first, then more aggressively, almost daring and encouraging Roland to match her fervent pace. He dug his long canine tongue into her over and over again, pausing only to let his fingers in on the action. His cold nose and hot breath worked her clit alternately, making her pant and writhe beneath him. She pushed his head down with her hand, encouraging him to make broad, deep strokes with his tongue. She did likewise, working the underside and length of Roland’s shaft with the expertise of her long experience.

As she felt her sensations rise, Nekkie flipped Roland over, climbing up on him and grabbing his shaft. It felt so warm and familiar in her hands. She thumbed the tip lightly, then pressed it against her sex, gasping as the warmth hit her folds. She had buried her lusts and emotions for so long now, letting her angst take charge. Now she was back in her element, and the rush of energy seemed to breathe the life back into her. She didn’t just feel happy, she felt young, she felt energetic, and most of all she felt alive.

Nekkie squatted hard, making Roland gasp for breath as she pushed down on top of him. He grabbed onto her hips as she began to bounce, her massive chest heaving and bobbing with each thrust. Her depression and darkness seemed to evaporate as she worked herself into a fervor, pounding on Roland harder and harder as she summoned every last ounce of strength. She worked her clit with her hand as well as Roland’s shaft, whimpering and panting even as he moaned and groaned.

The sex was not beautiful or professional, and on a camera it would have been laughably primitive. But as they continued to work on one another, each lover’s passion feeding onto their partner, the lovemaking ascended into a fever pitch. The whole bed bounced and wobbled as Roland thrust up with all his might, desperately trying to match Nekkie pound for pound. She was forced to move onto all fours, her massive tits sagging and swaying in front of his face and making him grin. His tails wagged to a blur between his legs, whipping and snapping against her thighs.

Nekkie’s orgasm caught her off guard, and sent her tumbling and spilling on top of Roland. It was deceptively small at first, sending her stumbling but not totally blanking her out with the height of pleasure. But as she moved on the bed, as she felt Roland’s shots shooting out between her thighs and landing on her lower back, it seemed as if every sensation triggered new waves of sensation. Roland’s every touch, every caress, even the closeness of his breath across her cheek seemed to set her off again. There was a ringing in her ears and a buzzing in her brain. It felt agonizingly satisfying, to say the least.

Roland and Nekkie sprawled out on the bed panting for over half an hour before either one of them spoke, each moving only slightly to nuzzle and caress the other. “So…what now?” said Nekkie, gently licking at Roland’s nose.

“I guess we pick up the pieces,” said Roland. “Henna told me she fired Cockzilla when she came by to deliver my pants, so I guess that means it’s safe to go back to Antipodes, if that’s what you wanna do.”

“I’ll need some more time off, but I do wanna finish my contract,” said Nekkie. “Besides, we need the money.”

“Oh, speaking of, I’ve got good news,” said Roland. “While I was at the library, trying to figure out how to get my ID replaced, I checked my e-mail and saw a notice from my publisher. They accepted my book, and after a few weeks of revisions it’ll go to print and I’ll start receiving royalty checks. They even want to discuss an advance on the next volume!” Nekkie blushed, nuzzling Roland tightly and wagging her little stub of a tail, something she had picked up from long years with her canine boyfriend.

“Oh Roland, I’m so proud!” she exclaimed, rubbing his nose with her beak again. Though they had a lot to get through, their future together seemed bright, and all of the recent woes and troubles melted away as they cuddled in bed. Nekkie was beaming with delight, thrilled to finally feel whole again. They had each other, and that was all that would matter. Forever.