*\*RIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIING\** "Hello, thank you for calling Last Resort, the world's premier snuff hotel. How can I help you? ... A reservation? Of course, sir. Do you already know what you want or would you like me to tell you about the options? ... All right. First of all we have a special on our two day Dungeon & Execution package. It includes accomodation for two nights in a dungeon cell, we have varying comfort levels to choose from ranging from our deluxe Gilded Gage suites to bare unfurnished underground cells. First day consists of two torture sessions in our torture dungeon of whatever intensity level you choose, then second day you will receive your last meal catered from our famous Last Meal restaurant, last rites performed according to your religious preference if any, and then you will be executed in the manner of your choosing. ... We can provide either public or private execution depending on your preferences. We have gallows for short and long drops, guillotine and chopping block for beheadings, stake for burnings, electric chair and chamber for gassing or lethal injection with wide variety of poisons to pick. We can also provide almost anything if you have custom request. ... Yes sir, our executioners can provide a last fucking before or during the execution if it's possible. ... Yes, you can choose the gender of your executioner. You can see our executioners and their specialities on our website and you can request a specific executioner for your execution. ... Of course sir. Another popular package we offer is the weeklong Tortured to Death package. Each day the torture session will be more intense, until the final lethal session where you will be tortured until you die. ... Yes, you can pick the type of torture. One popular option is the progressive dismemberment where during each session we amputate different part of your tail and limbs, climaxing with decapitation in the last session. ... Absolutely, we can also provide softer intimate snuff sessions. Our escorts are well trained in all forms of pleasure and can make your death the most pleasurable thing you have ever experienced, or the most horrifying if you so desire. ... Yes sir, our escorts are also available if you have picked one of our packaged options. ... Very good sir. Now there's one last thing, handling of your corpse. We can prepare your corpse for pickup free of charge, or you can choose burial in our burial ground option. We have both mass graves and individual plots available. Or, you can also donate your body to the resort for a discount in your snuff service. In which case you can choose if your body will be used for materials or for meat to be served in our restaurant. Obviously conditional on that the body is in usable shape after your death. ... Of course, and if you are specifically interested in that, we also have a Livestock package available where you are treated as livestock and then butchered in our meat processing plant. You can be dispatched beforehand via method of your choosing, or you can be butchered or even cooked alive. ... very good sir. On which day would you like to arrive? ... Yes, that is available. Now if I could just have your details sir. First your name? ... Thank you, your address? ... Thank you, and credit card number? ... Excellent! Your reservation is now in. Welcome to Last Resort and have a nice death, sir!" *\*click\**