Bel woke slowly, still feeling cold.  He was lying face down on something icy and hard.  Probably the altar.  He could feel its rough stone against his skin, for he was completely naked.  He tried to rise, but something held tight to wrists and ankles, tying him down.  The bonds were cold too, icy and numbing.  He didn't normally feel the cold at all, but now it seemed to have sunk into his very bones.

	He managed to blink his eyes open.  All he saw at first was the stone beneath him, but he turned his head and saw the bands of shadow that held him down to the altar, dark against his pale skin.  Then, over his arm, his eyes met the wolf-gold eyes of Alitius, who was crouched and peering at him with a disturbing grin on his face.

	"You're awake, excellent.  I'd hate for you to miss out on any of what I have planned for you."

	Bel groaned and tried to gather his scattered wits.  He needed to get away.  He couldn't move, but he could still speak, so he could cast a spell to break his bonds.  But when he tried to focus his will, he couldn't.  His head felt heavy and thick, and every time he focused on a thought it slipped away from him.  He groaned again and turned his face back to the stone, away from Alitius and his gloating grin.

	"I have bound you completely, mind, body and soul, [i]Mehshabel[/i]."  He rose, and Bel felt him trail his hand down his back, his fingers feeling almost hot against the chill that filled him.  "And I intend to take full advantage of that."  His hand kept going lower, running over his backside and coming to a halt between his cheeks.  His touch still felt hot, like fire, and Bel shuddered with it.  Alitius laughed darkly.  "Especially the [i]body[/i] part."  His fingers rubbed in a slow, circular motion, and then began to push inward.

	Bel clenched his teeth, trying to not whimper, to not react at all.  That was easier said than done, though.  He found he was breathing, something that happened when he was feeling strong emotions.  He shuddered again as Alitius' fingers slowly violated him, and tried to hold his breath.  He still couldn't focus, though, couldn't [i]think[/i], and when Alitius twisted his hand, circling his fingers around within Bel, the combined pain and pleasure—however involuntary—were too much and he let out a soft, whimpering moan.

	"Ahh..."  Alitius' long sigh was of pure satisfaction.  "Does that hurt, Mehshabel?  I hope it does."  His hand withdrew then, and Bel's body relaxed fractionally, but even with his mind spell-fogged and bound he knew better than to think that Alitius was done.

	A moment later the wolf-eyed god was on the altar with him, between his legs, which were bound to the altar's corners.  He bent over Bel, and Bel felt Alitius' cock rubbing against him.  If his fingers had felt heated, this was a hundred times more so.  The heat would have been good against his frigid skin, save for what it was, and what he knew must be coming.  "You're mine," Alitius whispered in his ear, and his breath was hot too.  "Mine entirely, for the rest of your short remaining life.  I'm going to use you every possible way, and show you your true place, which is beneath me."

	He ground his hips down hard against Bel, who barely bit back another moan.  Then Alitius pulled back slightly, lining himself up.  Bel pulled harder at the bonds of shadow holding him, but all that accomplished was to make Alitius laugh as he struggled.  He couldn't help it, though.  Desperation made him pant rapidly and struggle even harder as he felt Alitius' cock pushing at him, hot and hard and already slicked with pre.

	Desperation became panic as Alitius pushed harder, finally finding the right angle, then flashed into despair as the other man entered him.  It was now too late to stop it, he had been violated, and nothing could save him now.  He let his head fall, his struggles ceasing, and lay utterly still as Alitius sank in to the hilt.

	"Now you see where your place is.  You are no god, you are not even human.  You are an animal, and should count yourself blessed that I lower myself to lie with you."  He drew back his hips and thrust in again, grinding his hips down, pressing as deeply as he could.  "Though you [i]do[/i] feel good.  Ahh..."

	Bel shuddered faintly.  He was trying hard to not feel, to not react, but it was impossible.  He felt his eyes suddenly tearing up, and was glad, so very glad, that Oisin wasn't here to see this.

	Alitius began thrusting harder, taking him with enough force that it hurt.  Bel could no longer bite back his cries as pain stabbed into him.  He no longer had the energy to fight against reacting.  He cried out with each thrust, his body arching and writhing, trying to somehow escape the pain and violation, even though he knew it was impossible.  This only spurred on Alitus more, and he thrust faster, his breath hot and fast in Bel's ear.  "Ah yes...  Fuck...  You make a good bitch, Mehshabel.  Ah..."

	Bel shuddered, a whimper of pure humiliation escaping him, but only a moment later Alitius gave a shudder of his own, and let out a long groan of satisfaction.  The feeling of his seed spurting out deep within him filled Bel with shame and relief together.  He had been marked by the other god, but at least now it was over.

	A moment later Alitius had climbed off of him and was pulling his hose back up.  Bel lay very still, with tears trickling down his cheeks.  He felt his wrists and ankles suddenly released, and a wave of confusion went through his spell-hazed mind.  Alitius was letting him go?  Surely not.  He got to his hands and knees on the altar, then climbed down to stand in front of it, looking at Alitius warily.  What was he up to?

	"That was quite a lot of fun.  If you were just a little bit less dangerous, I might keep you as a pet.  But I think that I can risk enjoying myself just a bit more tonight.  Let's see how well the binding on your mind holds.  Mehshabel, kneel!"

	Bel found himself instantly on his knees, and he felt a shudder go through him again at the realization of how completely in Alitius' power he was.

	"Call me master, Mehshabel," said Alitius.

	Bel heard his own voice, trembling and weak, say, "Master."

	Alitius laughed.  He slid one foot forward.  "Kiss it, Mehshabel."

	Bel bent and kissed the boot before him.  Inside he wanted to scream, or weep, or tear Alitius limb from limb.  He did none of those things, he only remained kneeling, head bowed.  He was breathing still, panting softly.  He couldn't seem to stop himself.  He couldn't do anything.  Despair filled him, bleak and bitter.

	Still standing over him, Alitius laughed again.  He licked his lips and his hand went to his crotch, rubbing it.  "Hells, it's turning me on all over again to see you crawl like this."

	Bel didn't look up.  There was no point in doing anything, he couldn't escape.  Alitius would use him, and then kill him, and that was the end of it.  Four thousand years and all he'd survived, coming to this.

	"Look up at your master, Mehshabel."

	Bel lifted his head, looking at Alitius.  He'd pulled his hose down again, and his cock was standing out from it.

	"Suck it."

	Alitius hadn't even used his name again, but he still couldn't stop himself, he moved forward and took the hard member into his mouth.  There was a faintly vile taste to it, and he nearly gagged as he remembered that it had been within him only moments before.  But he had been commanded and he couldn't disobey.

	He took it fully into his mouth, but though he was bound to obedience, he wasn't going to go to any extra effort to please Alitius, so he used none of the techniques he knew.  Alitius didn't seem to care though, he grabbed Bel's hair with both hands and pulled him down until he gagged.  With a low groan of satisfaction Alitius ground Bel's face against his belly, pushing his cock as deeply as he could down Bel's throat.  Then he started thrusting, fucking Bel's mouth roughly, ruthlessly.

	Bel could do nothing but endure it, tears streaming from his eyes as he gagged repeatedly.  He at least didn't need to breathe, but everything about the experience was pure misery all the same.  It went on and on for a seeming eternity too, Alitius having to work harder to reach his climax a second time.  Finally he did, though, pulling Bel's head down once more, hard, his cock thrust deeply down Bel's throat.  Bel gagged and gave a desperate shudder, trying to somehow pull back, but he couldn't.  He couldn't do anything but swallow, and he felt the seed seeming to burn down his throat, lying heavily in his stomach like hot lead.

	His stomach clenched and roiled, but Alitius still held his head down until the last, least drop spurted from him, and a moment longer as well.  Finally he pulled back and Bel immediately doubled over.  Commands or no, his body was trying frantically to reject the seed he'd been forced to swallow, and he couldn't stop it even if he'd wanted to.  He could tolerate nothing but blood, not even this.  His stomach cramped and clenched as he bent over, until finally it heaved and he vomited violently.  His gut spasmed again and again, trying to clear every drop of what he'd swallowed.  He braced his hands against the ground as he vomited repeatedly, his whole body shaking with it, tears streaming freely down his face.

	Alitius simply stood and watched, an amused smile on his lips.  Finally the spasms ceased and Bel spat, then straightened just a bit and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand.

	"Pathetic," said Alitius, his voice smirking.  

	Bel let his head fall again, saying nothing in response.

	"Nothing to say?  Come, speak to me.  Tell me how you feel, Mehshabel."

	"Fuck you," Bel spat, managing just enough defiance to twist the order.  That was definitely how he felt about the situation.  However much misery and despair might fill him, hatred for Alitius was stronger.

	Alitius laughed again.  "I see.  Starting to pull loose a little bit, are you?  Well, then I guess it's time for me to make certain you can't try anything else before I kill you.  Get up on the altar, Mehshabel."

	Bel rose with a low groan and climbed onto the altar.  He fought the compulsion enough that he was moving slowly, but he couldn't defeat it entirely.

	"Lie down," said Alitius, and he did.  Then shadows grabbed his wrists and ankles, pulling them down and binding them to the altar, so that he lay spread-eagled on his back.

	"There.  One bound fool.  You are a fool, Mehshabel.  You could have had so much.  You could have built your power and become great.  You could have had far more power than I.  People like their gods of sun and light far more than they like gods of death and darkness.  And it's your fault I am stuck as one.  Your fault I've turned towards death.  You should have given me what I wanted all those years ago, and we wouldn't be here today..."

-----

	Later, after they'd cleaned up, Bel and Oisin lay curled together, drowsing.  It had been a long day, and they were both very tired.  Yet though Oisin soon found rest in slumber, Bel couldn't quite get to sleep.  The day's events kept running through his mind over and over.  Especially what Alitius had done to him.  

	He tried to put it aside, to remember only what he'd done with Oisin later.  It helped some, he hadn't been lying when he'd said that Oisin had helped him feel like he'd reclaimed his name.  He'd been trying to reclaim more than that; to reclaim his body, to write over what had been done to him with the love Oisin held for him.  In the moment it had, and Alitius had slipped from his mind entirely, replaced only with the wonderful passion that came from being with Oisin, even when he'd been sucking Oisin off, a nearly identical act to what Alitius had forced on him.  It had been in truth utterly different, though, for he'd actively served Oisin as he sucked his cock, not simply passively suffered.  Still, now that the moment was gone, vivid flashes of Alitius atop him, Alitius forcing him to service him, kneeling in humiliation at his feet as he spewed Alitius' seed from him... They kept returning, no matter what he did.

	A shudder went through him and he realized he was weeping.  He rolled away from Oisin, curling up tightly on the other side of the bed, and tried to muffle his sobs.  How could he have been so weak, so easily overpowered?  Surely he could have done more, fought harder, somehow.  He'd started to pull free of Alitius' control towards the end.  If he'd only fought harder sooner, he could have prevented it.

	[i]I wish I had.  I wish to all possible gods that I had.  That I didn't have these terrible memories in my mind, these terrible feelings on my body...[/i]  An audible sob escaped him, and he put his hand over his mouth, biting down on his own fingers, feeling the prick of his fangs and not caring about the pain.  How could he have failed so thoroughly, and been used so badly?  He remembered older memories, ancient now, of how his master had used him.  It had been different from this; a subtler thing, not this crude violation, but he'd been too weak then to even understand how badly he'd been used until someone else had shown him.  He hadn't grown any stronger since, it seemed, for once again a mere mortal had saved him.

	He bit down on his own hand harder, until he tasted blood, angry at himself suddenly.  [i]You know better than that.  For one thing Oisin isn't any mere mortal.  Even when he was mortal, there was no "mere" about it.  And Asher was special too.  None of this is your fault and you know it.[/i]

	It still felt like his fault, though, like he'd failed somehow.  The fault lay squarely on Alitius' shoulders, but he was gone and Bel was still here, feeling the phantom of Alitius within him.  His body shook with silent sobs as pain and horror overwhelmed him.

	"Mehshabel?"  He felt a touch on his shoulder, and shame shocked through him like fear.  He hadn't wanted to wake Oisin.  He hadn't wanted him to see him like this.  "Are you alright?"  Oisin's voice was gentle.

	Bel shuddered, curling tighter, but he dropped his bloody hand from his mouth.  "N-no," he said softly, his voice trembling.

	"What is it?  What's wrong?"

	"I... I don't... I can't..."

	Oisin curled up behind him, as if to enfold him, even though he was so much shorter, but his arms were still warm and comforting as they wrapped around him.  "It'll be okay.  Just tell me what's wrong.  Tell me how I can help you."

	"You... You already have.  You saved me.  You've done so much for me.  But you..."  He swallowed hard, not wanting to say it, not wanting to say that Oisin hadn't saved him in time.

	"Bel?"

	Bel shuddered, bitter tears gathering in his eyes again.  He [i]couldn't[/i] say it.  He didn't know how to say any of it.

	"Mehshabel."  Oisin brushed his hair aside and kissed the back of his neck.  "I won't compel you by your name, but I'll ask you by it.  Tell me what's wrong.  Why are you crying?  Is it something I've done?"

	"No!"  Bel's response was sudden, and probably too emphatic.  "No," he said again, more softly.  Another shudder went through him, but he knew he'd have to speak it, to say what had been done to him.  He couldn't pretend it hadn't happened.  "I know you would never compel me by my name," he said, his voice unsteady still.  "But Alitius did.  Before you came, he... He..."  Tears choked him again and he couldn't say it.  He simply couldn't.

	"What did he make you do?" said Oisin, ever so gently.  His arms were still around Bel, and Bel could feel his warm breath against the back of his neck.  He pressed back into Oisin's embrace, finding he was still trembling as well.

	"He... He made me..."  He swallowed hard and finally spit it out.  "He made me lie with him.  Pleasure him.  He... I..."  Another, stronger shudder went through him, and he felt like his throat had closed over the words, but he'd said enough.

	"Oh Bel, my Mehshabel, I am so sorry.  I should have been there sooner..."

	"No!"  Bel's voice was sharp again, emphatic.  "It isn't your fault.  He... I couldn't..."

	"Nor is it yours," said Oisin softly.  "But it might be at least partially mine.  I'm the one who gave him your name."  

	Finally Bel found firm ground to cling to, and managed to calm himself slightly.  "I've said already that if you'd died I'd be much sorrier than I am about anything he did to me.  That included...this when I said it."

	"But..."

	"No.  If I had it all to do over again, even knowing exactly what it would lead to, I would still tell you my true name.  I don't regret that at all.  And someday this will be just one more bit of my distant past.  Right now, though..."  Another shiver went through him, and he realized he was breathing, and had been for some time.  "Right now the memories are very immediate, and very hard to banish.  I thought to write over what he did, with what we have done together, and in the moment it worked.  You did help me reclaim my name by speaking it.  Reclaim my body by loving it.  You have been so wonderful.  It's just...hard to forget what it felt like when he... When I..."  He found himself trembling on the edge of tears again.

	"I understand."  Oisin kissed the back of his neck once more and squeezed him more tightly.  "I do still wish I'd come sooner, though, and saved you before he could...abuse you so.  I'm sorry."

	"Please don't say that.  Please don't blame yourself for his evil, or for my weakness."

	Oisin let out a little hissing sound of annoyance.  "I'll stop blaming myself if you stop blaming yourself, how's that?  Let us both blame Alitius.  If I knew how to unbind him, I might be tempted to bring him back, just so I could make him feel what it's like!  But I don't, and it's just as well."

	Bel put his hand over one of Oisin's, where he held him tight, and sighed softly.  "Yes, it's just as well.  I am happy that I'll never see him again."

	"Yes."  Oisin nuzzled the back of Bel's neck softly.  "But how can I help you?  What can I do to make you forget?"

	"Just do what you already do.  Just be you.  Just be here."

	"I am here.  Always."

	"Then that's enough.  Time will do the rest.  It always has before."

	"...what?"

	Bel sighed softly.

	"Never mind, you don't want to speak about it."

	"Time [i]has[/i] healed it, mostly, so I don't mind.  It's been the better part of four thousand years, I should hope so.  Though most of those were spent in the dream that was Shamash.  But it's only that my master, the one who taught me magic and made me a vampire, was... He didn't do what Alitius did, but he used me all the same.  He cared for his own pleasure only.  If I got some enjoyment out of it that was well and good, but I was there to serve him.  So I did.  I did many things I didn't truly want to, because he was the master and he demanded them.  I seldom even remember any of it now, but...what Alitius did reminded me."

	"Oh."

	Bel managed a soft chuckle at that.  "There's your 'oh' again.  Yes.  Asher saved me from that, as you saved me from Alitius.  I miss him still, a little bit, even after all this time.  But I am happy with you.  I love you very much, Oisin, my little deer."

	"I love you too, my Mehshabel.  I will be here for you, always."  Oisin lifted himself up a little, and kissed Bel's cheek, then settled behind him again, holding him tightly, nuzzling the back of his neck once more.  His breath was warm, as were his arms.  Bel let his eyes slide closed at last, and pressed back into Oisin's embrace, and in the warm, silent darkness there he finally slipped off to restful slumber.